Common Courtesy and Basic Human Decency

Moderators: Moderator, DM

Locked
User avatar
Maecius
Retired Admin (Acting Assistant Admin)
Posts: 11483
Joined: Sat May 16, 2009 4:24 pm

Common Courtesy and Basic Human Decency

Unread post by Maecius »

Unfortunately, there have been complaints about racist and otherwise offensive comments here on the forums, in-game on the server, and in-game on the GameSpy chat.

I am utterly embarrassed to have to point out that this is not O.K.

I honestly do not feel that our community has hate-driven individuals playing here. I like to believe that most of us are pretty good people: Connected by our common interests and driven by our desire to enjoy a collaborative story, peopled by our many characters. In fact, I like to believe that the comments eliciting these complaints were supposed to be ironically funny, not insulting ...

But while I understand and appreciate the fact that a lot of our players enjoy black comedy -- with many of them coming from high-stress occupations, where dark humor is commonplace, and others simply "veterans of the Internet" -- this sort of humor is to be shared among close friends, not among a community of mixed players, where not everyone will realize it when you are being ironic.

It truly saddens me when individuals say or do hateful or hurtful things to one another, intentionally or otherwise. So please show common courtesy and basic human decency in all of the interactions you have here, and try to remember that not everyone will find humor in your pushing the envelope of good taste.

I know we're a very big family here at Baldur's Gate, and I know that we sometimes throw elbows or disagree with each other about the server's goals, players, and staff: But we're a family all the same. Let's all try to remember that.

Because this thread is not meant for discussion, it will be locked. Any comments you feel you must voice should be taken to PMs.

Thank you.
LeslieMS
Posts: 1076
Joined: Thu Nov 05, 2009 3:43 pm
Location: Oklahoma, United States

Re: Common Courtesy and Basic Human Decency

Unread post by LeslieMS »

Just reminding everyone this is here.

I think the rules have been available long enough, and we all have better things to do with our time than try to make each other miserable. The rules are plainly posted here: Subject: Forum Rules

If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. Practice a little courtesy and tact, and I think everyone will find this a much more productive and cheery place. We are a community of players who share a common love for a game. Let's please stop picking apart eachother's differences and taking stabs at one another.

If you simply must say something unkind or carry on some sort of debate, constructive or otherwise that does not conform to the Forum Posting Rules, please utilize some other platform, be it whatever form of communication you choose. The constant picking has no place here on these forums, which are more or less here as a convenience and kindness to this persistent world's player base.

I don't want apology PMs or justification PMs, I am simply asking that you take a moment to consider what you are saying before you hit the 'submit' button when making a post. Please.

Thank you,
Mum
"Play nice." Mum
"Mercy, even to the least deserved."
"Revenge is beneath me, but Accidents happen..."
"Even Echoes fade to silence."
User avatar
Maecius
Retired Admin (Acting Assistant Admin)
Posts: 11483
Joined: Sat May 16, 2009 4:24 pm

Re: Common Courtesy and Basic Human Decency

Unread post by Maecius »

Hi everyone,

I wanted to bump this thread and update it. I've noticed a lot of toxicity from a minority of players (and even a couple of staff members) in recent months when it comes to how they behave towards others here on the forums.

It's, in fact, part of the reason I revived the forum moderator group, and recruited for it.

There's always a balancing act going on in a community like this one. On the one hand, it's extremely important to me for the forums to be a place where people can freely and openly express their opinions (including opinions that are critical of staff decisions and in-game developments). On the other hand, I feel it is also important that one's opinions are delivered in a manner that doesn't drip with disdain or target others in an ad hominem fashion. This is because I feel it stifles open conversation if a handful of people are bullying others into silence.

I have learned over the years that not everyone has as thick a skin as I do, and some people do take the words of others to heart in a way that really hurts them and pushes them away from the community.

So censoring overly aggressive and disrespectful posts is the lesser of two evils, then, and I will be encouraging forum moderators to begin more liberally removing or editing posts that are in violation of the forum rules. I feel some of the forum rules, particularly with regards to flaming and trolling (#2) and sniping at other players and staff members (#3), have been ignored or too laxly enforced for too long -- and it's created a community where not everyone feels they can freely express themselves without opening themselves to attack.

That's not the place I want this place to be.

Good ideas, criticism, and even arguments, are all very welcome. But make sure you're presenting your argument in a respectful manner -- or your argument's going to disappear until you can rewrite it in a way that better complies with the forum rules. Thank you for your understanding.
User avatar
Maecius
Retired Admin (Acting Assistant Admin)
Posts: 11483
Joined: Sat May 16, 2009 4:24 pm

Re: Common Courtesy and Basic Human Decency

Unread post by Maecius »

I want to bump this thread again to remind everyone that as a slow-growing community, it's very important that we treat each other with courtesy and respect.

It's especially important that we make new players feel welcome here. New players are a large part of what keeps us going when older players burn out, take breaks, or otherwise move on for a while (and sometimes never return). If we fail to continually renew ourselves as a server with new and returning players, we'll eventually dwindle away.

Unfortunately, I've received a handful of complaints from new or newer players about the treatment they've received while playing here. Namely in the forms of mocking or belittling, trolling, and excluding.

This doesn't appear to be a widespread or significant problem, but it's enough of a problem that I've received several complaints about it over the last few months, and we've lost at least three players over it. So please be mindful of how you treat your fellow players. Grizzled vets in particular should try to remember that not everyone who plays this game has years of experience here. Not everyone with a new account name is an old player reinventing themselves. For some of our players, everything on the server is brand new to them, sometimes even including the idea of roleplaying itself. Try to remember what life was like in their shoes, and try to ensure that we're living up to our reputation as a friendly, welcoming community. Because that reputation will only last for as long as it's true.
User avatar
DM Ditto
Posts: 2260
Joined: Tue Jul 21, 2015 11:47 pm

Re: Common Courtesy and Basic Human Decency

Unread post by DM Ditto »

Hey folks,

Just a friendly reminder that everyone in the BGTSCC community is permitted to have their own opinions, preferences, and feelings. We will not deny this from you and the other players you play with.

However, having the capability to express your opinions regarding a subject you have passion towards should not be confused with posting negative and/or disrespectful content towards other people who do not share the same opinions for the purpose of belittling, ridiculing, or dismissing them, or otherwise silencing their feedback. BGTSCC welcomes a diversity of players which in turn brings a diversity of opinions, thoughts, "how the game should be played"s, and similar sentiments. We welcome this diversity as it allows a wide range of feedback for the DMs, developers, and other people who work on this server to get an idea of community feelings going forward, even if this idea is of the negative bent.

We welcome constructive criticism and negative opinions, but not to the point of making personal attacks against each other, regardless whether they violate the server's rules or not. Behavior like that does not lead to anything constructive and only harms the community. No amount of justification will change the fact that the damage is done.

Please remember to review the
General Server Rules, Forum Rules, and PvP Rules. Treat this server and the people in it with courtesy and respect even if you do not like the topic that you are commenting about, and please avoid resorting to insults, belittling, disrespectful behavior, or other personal attacks in your desire to express your opinions.

Thank you all for your time.
Forum Rules | Server Rules | PvP Rules

Text in pink is my personal opinion and does not necessarily reflect the DM Team in general!
User avatar
Maecius
Retired Admin (Acting Assistant Admin)
Posts: 11483
Joined: Sat May 16, 2009 4:24 pm

Re: Common Courtesy and Basic Human Decency

Unread post by Maecius »

I would like to bump this thread, and issue some new comments.

These days, Discord servers have become very popular. Many guilds and player groups have them. Normally, they are great places for groups of players to share ideas and grow closer together as friends and as virtual family. But sometimes they also harbor and enable more malicious behavior.

Now, we do not, as a staff, police any Discord servers (except our own). But we, all of us, do belong to a small, close-knit community, and what is said in these "private" servers not only colors the way we think and act as a community, but also tends to get around.

I, myself, have heard about the hurtful, spiteful, and hateful comments that are sometimes said in these groups. Why have I heard about them? Because they made someone in that group uncomfortable enough to come to me about it. In other words, those comments upset the comment maker's friend or ally. Someone who was not on the receiving end of the hurtful comments. Can you imagine how the people you are talking about would feel if they read them or heard them?

Probably not very good.

I will try to state this as unequivocally as I can: This sort of behavior, even off-server, is not appropriate. And it will not be tolerated.

As such, I am encouraging the community to share with me anyone who is actively malicious or hateful in Discord servers or elsewhere. I will talk with them and ask them to stop their behavior. If they do not stop, I will likely escalate the matter, even up to a ban.

It's not technically against the rules if it's not happening "in game." And we can't officially police it. But if I have evidence that any player here is spreading malice about other players or regularly being cruel towards other players, regardless of where it is taking place, I don't want them in this community. And I won't allow them to stay here.

It's OK to get mad every once in a while. Even to say something stupid that you later regret. But there are some, unfortunately, in this community who are habitually cruel, and put down other people as a pattern of behavior. They may think they are joking around, but all of their jokes are based on insulting their peers. These are the people this message is intended to address.

For those of you who use these tools as they are intended, to strengthen guild ties, build friendships, and plan characters, keep on keeping on. You're using them in a positive, constructive way, and that's what they're there for. They're great tools over all. I just don't want to see them used as places to encourage hatred or disrespectful behavior in this community. Our number one rule, and really the only server rule we should need, is for everyone to "be respectful."

We are all here to play this game together, after all.

Thank you, everyone, for your attention in this matter.
Locked