- Lead Media
- Posts: 803
- Joined: Mon Sep 03, 2012 8:19 pm
As of today, I am stepping down from volunteering time toward additional content for this server. This is to include the outfits that I have on hold currently for future updates. I try not to overwhelm any one update with dozens of outfits at once. I will however be placing the ones that are expected to go into the next update. This will be around 25+ outfits for both male and female players.
Facial bug fixes and other models that require immediate fixing will be honored as it was my word to fix them to many players. These will remain on my agenda.
LivT will be the remaining modeler on media team. She is, however, not proficient in certain types of content so I would ask the community to be liberal with their patience and understanding as to what media team is capable of creating at this point.
I would like to thank those who were helpful and kind to me while I served this community but I am also going to take up this time to create a platform and explain why I’ve decided to no longer commit my personal time volunteering for this server.
It’s very important to understand that when I say “you”, I mean the community/server/player base as a whole and not any one person. These points are not an attack on the community. They are simply what I feel are being conveyed both openly and discreetly. More often than not, players leave and blame staff/DMs/Rules etc… which is okay and understood. But my leaving is solely based on "you".
I have worked tirelessly for this server. And by that term I mean I spend/spent roughly 80% of my time doing staff/content work and about 10% time playing. The other 10% is reserved for forum/mediateam/guild work.
What this means? While some people play the game for 6 hours straight daily. I was in Blender. Some days I would open up Blender to work on content at 8am. I would not even log in game most days. Eventually, I close blender at 11pm. Sometimes even 2 or 3am. Sleep. Then do it all again. So on most days ((and partly due to covid)) my daily server volunteer time is 12+ hours daily. Doing 3d content takes time – it’s a process and not so much a point and click type thing, and with such limited rescources, I also had to develop many methods for content creation through extensive trial and error.
I explained this to other players in the past. I don’t mind the work. It’s been fun. And the payoff is the excitement and happiness that players got from it. I know that sounds like an HR statement, but truthfully, it was the only driving factor for me to create content. For you. I didn’t play enough to say I did it my own characters, guilds, friends, etc. I tried to cover many types of visual play styles. Fantasy, Medieval, Weeb. Because you are a diverse community and its not my right to say “your” playstyle is not “the” play style. My entire tenure on the media team was purely to provide enjoyable content for a community that I actually enjoyed just being part of.
But lately you have diminished this feeling. You constantly bicker and fight with each other. You throw stones at staff when you feel things don’t go your way. You badmouth your DMs eighty percent of the time and throw them a quick “Thank you” in the thread of infinite appreciation only when they do something good for you. You associate people with people you don’t like and chastise them for it. You take things said by others and spread them around in false rumors via secret chats and discussions. You work in secret groups to and cliques to discredit other players - to have them removed – in an already dying game/server. You would destroy this game if it meant you could win in the end.
You are the toxic community that some of you speak of here and there.
But you are human. So most times we try and recalibrate – fix issues – and move on. Most do this. Others carry this hate on their shoulder and make their entire experience about a person or one thing. You can’t move forward if you’re stuck in the past.
I always told myself to ignore this and just create content for those who enjoy it. Let the bad apples wither and roll away from the tree eventually. My mistake was to actually start playing the actual game that I volunteered for. Literally took me two months in game at a moderate play rate to experience the toxicity of the server. Everything I mentioned just up above becoming more and more apparent. Well, I am done. After stepping in to the ring, I feel no desire to step back out and volunteer for you any further.
Who is Jude/athornforheart? Does he think he’s a bigshot? No. But I know what I provided to this server and I know what my time is worth. And it certainly is not worth investing it here until this community can fix its behavior.
Do I have faith that this community will fix its issues? No. But this is coming from a someone who was around in the beginning and ten years later – some things still haven’t changed. People have made this same post time and again and yet, it just stays the same. I feel people will lower their heads for the moment and perhaps agree... give it a week or two, then just go right back at it again. It's the cycle of this server behavior.
I believe I have made enough content that with my leaving the media team, you’ll all be fine. You’ll get by the next few years with it just fine. So my leaving, is likely a non-issue at the moment.
Even as I write this, I am almost certain that there are people shaking their head. Perhaps discussing it in another discord. Tearing it apart word for word. It’s a safe assumption because I know this happens. I myself have had my moments of toxicity, both back in the day and to this day. So please understand I don’t hold a halo over my own head. The will save here is to check yourself when you’ve stepped into the toxic ring and be aware of when you need to step out. But some of you enjoy being in it. It provides you a quota of social drama.
Why this big rant? Because I feel you deserve to hear this. I will not sugar coat a bad ending with words of “Oh, I’ll savor the memories.” Im upset that I feel I’ve had to do this. Even at this very moment, my override files are flooded with content that I was expecting to put into the server over the next two months. I actually enjoyed this job. Well. Sadly, no longer.
This is a not a platform to jump onto to bash the DMs. This is not a platform to discuss what you don’t like about a certain thing or person. This is not a platform how your guild was treated unfairly. This is NOT. YOUR. PLATFORM. Some of you are exempt from this and I do thank you. I thank all the players who did encourage me to continue to volunteer here. To the others… well, they are more likely discussing this behind closed doors anyway – so there’s no point in addressing it further.
Some of you will hate what I wrote here. Claim its not you and throw blame elsewhere. Sadly, its expected. Im sure this server is not going anywhere anytime soon… so it’ll just be a slow death until it does, if things can’t be remedied.
For the love of God, try and be better BGTSCC.
- Retired Staff
- Posts: 684
- Joined: Mon Nov 18, 2019 3:25 pm
- Location: Avernus
godspeed, bud, and enjoy your free time and summer weather, we'll miss you!
- Posts: 1266
- Joined: Sun Jun 12, 2011 12:14 pm
- Posts: 211
- Joined: Sun May 17, 2020 10:57 pm
I mean this both for your efforts and for being open about your thoughts. Your dedication has been a wonderful treat on the server, and I hope that whatever project you find next is both rewarding and worthy of your talents.
Best of luck with your future endeavors.
Ask about our Breadflower daily special to save five coppers off a purchase of five pastries.
She seems unusually interested in cursed items.
- Posts: 39
- Joined: Wed Apr 08, 2020 6:09 am
Thanks a bunch for all the things you made. I was quietly enjoying and cherishing them on my own little corner of the server while I was at it.
- Retired Admin (Acting Assistant Admin)
- Posts: 11483
- Joined: Sat May 16, 2009 4:24 pm
I'm sorry the community was unable to live up to the expectations you had for it. Hopefully we will all do a better job moving forward in remembering that everyone here is a human being playing a video game together to have fun. Excluding others, gossiping about players or staff, taking for granted the efforts of others, and being mean to or disrespecting one another just means you end up with a server of 0 volunteers and -- eventually -- 0 players. Hopefully we all know that in our hearts and can work to minimize our human tendency to "compete"/"make enemies"/"focus on the problems" when we should all be focused on making friends and having fun.
Thanks for everything you did, athorn. You're one of the few people who, with your tireless volunteer efforts, has positively impacted the lives of every single player here.
- Posts: 794
- Joined: Wed Jun 23, 2010 8:12 pm
Izz Azul-Red Knight[Active]
Kruegr Earthstone-Trader viewtopic.php?f=55&t=56617 [Trading]
Heartseeker-Siamorphe[missing in action]
Bigg aL-"Copycat me peasants"[active]
Iezzyn-Intuition UD socializer[inactive]
- Custom Content
- Posts: 1430
- Joined: Wed Jan 13, 2016 2:34 am
The work you've put in is extraordinary and we are all so thankful for what you've done for us. I hope you do well in whatever you move on to.
- Recognized Donor
- Posts: 458
- Joined: Thu Feb 13, 2020 5:08 pm
Your work has made many things possible, from fashionista rp to court gala, wedding, etc.
I know my thanks aren't worth a lot but you will always be appreciated and a valuable member of this community that really has many faces, flavors and personalities.
Seeing you go really makes me sad but you have my support to do the best for yourself.
Thank you and see you around.
- Posts: 461
- Joined: Sun Jun 12, 2011 3:03 pm
- Location: US (EST)
Steward and Head of Business, House Darius -
Guard and Performer, The Siren's Song
- Posts: 259
- Joined: Sun May 06, 2018 11:55 am
Saying it will be a non-issue, is completely false. I enjoy having you around. You are one of the most laid back people I've met here. It's honestly a very terrible thing if the state of the server caused you to post this.
You are going to be missed.
Solomon, Luckbringer of Tymora ~ A copper to the Lady, returns tenfold in gold!!
- Recognized Donor
- Posts: 6678
- Joined: Wed Jul 08, 2015 5:42 am
- Location: Paradise in GMT +1
- Custom Content
- Posts: 330
- Joined: Wed Feb 28, 2018 2:01 pm
- Posts: 23
- Joined: Sat Nov 14, 2020 12:18 pm
- Location: England
Agreed - All of your content is top notch.
You will be missed, Jude.
- Posts: 242
- Joined: Wed Jun 05, 2013 6:40 am
Vladimir of the purple knights salutes you for your service.