Profile
 |
Full name: Zel Castriver True Name: Vinxothyrl the Sorrowtaker Age: 19 Race: Tiefling Sex: Female Date of birth: Eleint 7, 1340 DR Place of birth: A village located in the northeastern wasteland on the border of Halruaa Alignment: Neutral Good Patron deity: Ilmater Profession: Archmage / Freelancing Scholar Classes: Wizard / Arcane Scholar / Archmage / Shadow Dancer Primary language: Halruaan, Common, Draconic Secondary languages: Abyssal, Undercommon, Shou, Netherese, Elven, Dwarvish, Celestial, Cormanthan, Aquan, Gnomish, Sylvan, Orcish, Infernal |
Physical description:If ignoring the horns, Zel is about 1.53m (5.02ft) tall, and with her horns, she's around 1.68m (5.51ft). She weighs approximately 37.4kg (82.5lb). This physique may seem too small for an adventurer, but for the village where Zel was born, it's quite normal. Long-term food shortages have caused almost everyone in the village to be underdeveloped. Perhaps due to her innate anatomy that is different from the other human residents in the hunger-ridden village, Zel has managed to grow a relatively healthy body in the early years of her life.
Her jet-black, slightly curly hair falls on her cheeks after casually trim, exposing her forehead and hairline on one side while partially covering her left eye on the other side, the shadow cast into her eye sockets merge with the dark smoky eyes; crimson gem-like eyes shimmer within. People often wonder if Zel's smoky eyes is an outward manifestation of the evil nature of her mysterious infernal bloodline, or if ther are just applied by herself every day in a place no one can see ,* but no one has ever denied that this creates an excellent match combined with her bloodless pale face. Thanks to her soft facial features, her round chin, and plump cheeks, Zel's face doesn't look so evil but rather appears gloomy and bored.
Zel's fiendish features are not so unremarkable. A pair of black horns with a slightly polished granite-like texture emerge from above her temples in a simple curve, resembling those of a young black dragon rather than a Fiend.*
Zel's everyday clothing also attempts to match the style of her face as much as possible. Apart from the uncolored fabric turned out at the neckline or cuffs, the rest of her clothes are all different shades of black; A slightly loose coat, simple trousers, and sometimes a robe or cloak, plus a pair of old leather boots, all make Zel's overall appearance very monotonous. Some people in small towns may perceive Zel as some embodiment of a lesser daemon from Gray Waste or a minion working for a devil to collects unpaid souls.
<Edit: 14/3/2024>
Drowning in the water of Styx has changed Zel's appearance, her hair was bleached to the colour of salt, crimson pupils turned into darker blood red, horns were left with more roghened texture, appearing as rusty iron. ***
** Of course Zel doesn't have dragon bloodline.
*** See <Edit: 14/3/2024> in History
Psychological description:Hidden: showZel's heart is always overflowing with uncontrollable commiseration. She compassionates with all the souls that suffer, compassionates with the civilians who died in the wars between empires, the slaves who escaped from castles in the nights, the tieflings hiding in the dirty corners of cities, the abandoned gnome babies in the Underdark tunnels... Zel does not like epics about heroes, where people only pay attention to the knights wielding golden swords to pierce the throats of dragons, but no one cares about the blacksmith who polished the sword in the village at the beginning of the story, the servant who repaired the armor, or the countless miners who made these all possible. She cares more about the “people who no one cares about.”
Aside from sorrow and despair, Zel is insensitive to emotions of others. She finds it difficult to understand the underlying emotional information conveyed through language and behavior, and she sees this form of communication is inefficient and unnecessary. Therefore, few people know what Zel cares about in her mind, and her words and actions are as dull as her appearance, making it difficult to approach her, and she rarely expresses herself to others, always pondering silently.
Sorrow is the authentic fundament of Zel's percept, and she only understands other emotions by reducing them to sorrow: joy is absence of sorrow or lethe of sorrow, anger is an aggressive form of sorrow, etc. She is "insensitive" in a societal, instead of psychological sense, that she has difficulty engaging in social context due to her unique inner percept processing sense data in a very different way than others, thus understanding concepts very differently. When others expressing in reference to their processed sense data, Zel would not make much sense out of them because they use the concepts differently than how Zel understands them, resulting in her being "apathetic" socially.
Not only of others, but Zel can barely feel emotions beside sorrow and despair of herself. Her superior ability of memory grants her not only the benefit of being a wizard, but also bestow her the woe of all the pain she has ever seen - they are what occupy her mind the most, resulting in her being a most pessimistic nihilist.
Zel bears the curse so that all the suffering she has seen would be branded into her mind, as she has experienced them first-hand, even those are from other people. Those sufferings are what occupy the most of her mindscape. Aside from that, her mind isn’t really lively, composed mostly of concepts.
Zel is very intelligent, in fact, for some people around her, she is the smartest person they have ever met. Unlike other villagers who could only think about how to survive this summer, Zel thought about things beyond the village and the things that cannot be seen. Zel has a strong talent for ontology and is enthusiastic about thinking about it; even though she has never received any academic training, she has defeated scholars and priests in debates several times when she was young; later she became bored with this and doesn’t debate aggressively with others anymore.
Zel's outstanding rational ability has not diminished her kindness in any sense; in fact she believes that many of the world's misery is caused by a lack of rationality. People without enough rationality will accept the ideas instilled in them by society without reflection, hate others, persecute those who are the same as them under ideologies with no reasons, and use pointless greed to exploit those disadvantaged. She often speculates whether people's thoughts are imprisoned, even the gods, always taking unreflective positions as profound insights into truth. She despises violence, and would not be willing to harm an intelligent creature as first resort to anything, furthermore, she would never kill any intelligent creature.
Zel always takes a critical stance on the philosophies of most Lawful Good deities. To her being lawful necessarily means being blind to the evils commited under the protection of the laws; as long as there is any law allows nobles to be born to own everything and beggers' children to continue begging, then the "Lawful Good" stance is impossible.
Zel likes wildlife, especially birds, but she harbored a strong dislike for druids and their philosophical belief of the "balance". To her, druids are the epitome of a lack of reason.
She has an affinity to darkness and cold, possibly because of, and contradict to the environment she grew up in. She is drawm to the shadow plane, the darkness and lifelessness of it, and the existential despair that consists of that place.
Zel sees the ability of commanding magic a privilege, or an amplifier of such, whether it’s learned or spontaneous, even herself, is privileged with her genius mind that most were not born with to ever become a wizard. And in most cases, the cost of studying arcana is not to be afforded by anyone, which Zel also has a deep experience of. Magic is just as difficult, if not more so, to be distributed equally than wealth or political power; Zel thinks that those with gift of magical should be aware of their privilege, and take on more responsibility than those who do not possess such talents. Other than that, the more people can receive the education of arcana, the better.
Zel values the accessibility of knowledge, that any proposition should be able to be known by anyone. It is why she rarely holds back on what she knows, and dislikes lying.
Zel never dreams. Sleeping is only experienced as a transition of time for her.
Religious views:Hidden: show
Follower of Tyr (age 7 - age 12)(At this stage, Zel’s alignment is Lawful Good.) During Zel's childhood, she was a follower of Tyr, inspired by a paladin* who came through her village. She admired the perfect justice that Tyr represented, believing that one day, perhaps after a enduring war, Tyr's followers would vanquish all evil and all suffering souls would be liberated. All creatures in Faerûn would then live in a world of good order, where no injustice existed. During this period, Zel faithfully believed in Tyr's creed and aspired to become a paladin herself, joining the fight between good and evil.
Oneness (age 12 - age 13)During this stage, Zel became a idealist**. She began to doubt the substantiality of the "Good" claimed by a series of deities, including Tyr, reasoning that a possible world with a better “Good” than that of the deities is imaginable, so the “Good” of them is not the best, thus either a better “Good” with complete substantiality exists above all the deities or a substantial “Good” doesn’t exist at all. Zel chose the former option, believed that there was a ultimate celestial being the ideal of "Good" beyond all other good deities being only mimesis of that "Good." Zel did not know exactly who that was she believed in, but believing in something was necessary, only in this way continuing pursuing “ Good” is possible.
Faithless (age 13 - age 16)(During this period, Zel's alignment shifted to Neutral Good.) As Zel witnessed the death of everyone in her village,* she became disillusioned with the theological promises of "Good" brought by any supreme power. Whether substantial "Good" existed or not wouldn’t reduce any real misery people suffered. Zel thought that the deities using the banner of "Good" were merely striving for their own interests, just like any mortals who practiced similar hypocrisy; ontologically, deities were no superior than mortals, and deities shouldn't hold more power than mortals and were not worth worshipping. However, even though Zel no longer believed in the existence of a substantial "Good" alignment, she still acted with innate goodness, even if it no longer had an ethical foundation.
Praying to Ilmater (age 16 - age 19)Zel knew that her childhood daydream of an earthly heaven was impossible to achieve, but she had never considered abandoning her sympathy. She began to pray to Ilmater, the patron of all those who suffer, at first out of practical considerations, hoping that her prayers would strengthen Ilmater's power and enable him and his priests to better help the afflicted, even if only in a negligible degree. Later, Zel realized that she prayed also because she needed a spiritual support, believing in some spiritual totem that could make the world even not perfect, but slightly better; otherwise, she would have nothing to lean upon.
** More precisely, a "Platonist", but given the most probable inexistence of Plato in the Forgotten Realms, this term is not used
Ancestor:Hidden: showZel inherited her outer plane bloodline from her father, which originated from Charon, the grim ferryman of the River Styx. In 1277 DR, Zel's biological great-grandmother, an ambitious necromancer sought to manipulate the power of the river of the dead from Charon, but only failed miserably and caused the fury of the ruler of Styx, who infused her with fiendish nature of marraenoloth, cursed her, and all who bear her bloodline, with the the essence of the Gray Water and Styx so that they would suffer eternal despair as gloom as Hades, and all memories of joy, or anything that is not essentially despair or sorrow would be wiped clean by the power of Styx.
Biography
FamilyHidden: showZel's mother was named Elrao Wantygard, a human and native of Halruaa. She was the only person Zel knew who were related and Zel was raised by her and the villagers. Zel did not have a particularly deep affection for her mother for she was not closer to Zel than any other person in the village before she died.
Elrao died of starvation, like most of the others in the village, when Zel was 13 years old.
Zel's father was named Althar Zarr Nischvelm, a tiefling born in Amn and formerly an assassin and dissident. He was wanted after an unsuccessful attempt to assassinate a member of the Amn council, fled south and arrived at the village where Elrao lived, where he had a brief intimate relationship with her before leaving; some time later, Elrao gave birth to Zel.
Zel did not know any information about her father, except that he was most likely a tiefling.
Currently, Althar is serving a sentence in Amn.
HistoryHidden: show
Human with Horns
Zel was originally named Zelevsi, but she didn't like the name, so everyone called her Zel.
Zel didn't originally have the surname Castriver, she didn't have a surname at all, so before that, she was just Zel.
Zel was born in a small village in the northeast of Halruaa, and she had never seen her father. Her mother had never mentioned why Zel had horns, while she didn't, but Zel had never cared.
The other people in the village didn't have horns, but they didn't seem to care either. Apart from calling themselves "human" and Zel "tiefling," Zel had never been treated differently.
Zel guessed that "tiefling" referred to "human with horns."
Zel remembered things very early, she remembered playing with other children in the fields when she was a toddler, and an older child pulled her horns in circles; her horns were broken.
Her later memories were a bit fuzzy. She never saw the child who pulled her hrons again, nor some other children she played with.
Zel was smarter than the other children in the village. While other children were still struggling with arithmetic, Zel could understand the complex logical operations in the arcane textbook hidden in the village elders’ spider-webbed dusty wooden chest.
That book was stolen by Zel from the elder’s warehouse in the night. After a few days, the elders discovered that she had stolen the book, but they didn't seem angry. On the contrary, they were very glad, and so was the whole village.
They told Zel that she might become an excellent mage, or even an archmage.
The elders often talked about the old days, when there was an archmage in the village, before they were elders. "Those were good times," all the older people in the village said.
But now, the village hasn't had an archmage, or a wizard for a long time.
The villagers hoped that Zel could become the new wizard of the village. They said Zel was a genius and a tiefling, and it was hard to find someone more likely to become a wizard than her. With a wizard, the people in the village could have a way better life, like they used to.
But Zel didn't want to become a wizard, she wanted to be a paladin.
The Place Where Justice Never Stays
The sound of horse hooves on the pebble-strewn road mixed with low whinnying awakened the entire village from the dawn.
There was only one sick old horse in the village; this sound came from an outsider. The villagers came out and saw a black horse under the first light of the morning, the rider on the horseback carrying a long sword; the silver armor shining with golden light.
"Is it a knight? Or a mercenary? Why would someone like this come to such a remote place?" The villagers guessed in their minds, looking at the rider, and the rider also looked at them. He immediately spotted a figure that was different from the other villagers - a child with a pair of horns.
This was Zel's first time met an outsider from the village, and her first time seeing a paladin.
The paladin's name was Alsten Lorinhall, from the Church of Tyr in Tethyr, on a mission to Halruaa. After several days of travel in the barren land, this village was the only place Alsten could find with residents, so he decided to stay here for a few days for some rest and recovery.
Alsten was amazed that there were people living in this region. He scanned the land; the breath of the earth had long since stopped; its whole body emitted an anxious air. The sunlight baked the earth, evaporating all the water on the land, leaving patches of cracks and gullies, deep and silent. There was no vitality in this barren land, even the wind avoided this place, refusing to bring any coolness here. His sight seemed to penetrate underground, seeing the root system struggling in the soil without water, twisting into the shape of a dried corpse; this was a lonely, helpless, and dying land. In this environment, people wrapped their thin bodies in shabby cloth with countless patches, the hard lumps of loess sticking to their hair; their moods are as depressed as the land is dry. Even so, the people in this village were still surprisingly welcoming and kind, inviting Alsten to stay in the only rickety tavern in the village.
The beer was emitting pale yellow bubbles; the turbid slurry made it difficult to know how much was actually beer in the mug, and at the bottom of the mug some sand had settled. Alsten refused the beer offered by the bartender, continuing to talk with an elder. He asked about the village's survival situation, and the elder replied that the amount of food they could produce here was minimal, they have to relying on the one old horse to ride to the nearest small town to the south to beg for relief food, but even that it was days of travel, and the food they could obtain was too little; the villagers could not fill their stomachs every day; it had been a long time since a new life was born here, and few children could survive the first three years of life in this environment.
Alsten asked again, Why didn't they leave this place and move to somewhere more suitable for survival? The elder countered, even living in this settled village was difficult, how would they be able to sustain themselves with enough food to support the journey? How would they deal with the beasts, bandits, and monsters on the way? Alsten realized the question was stupid and paused for a moment before asking another.
How had this village managed to exist here for so long?
Nearly half a century ago, an archmage from the capital led a group of farmers to colonize the borderlands of Halruaa. He established this village, using his magic to shelter the land, and it was once a beautiful home. Speaking of the past, the elder became excited, but soon his expression faded.
Then the archmage left. The capital called him back, and he took all the magic and miracles with him, leaving only the farmers who had followed him to this place. At first, the villagers didn't want to leave, thinking that if they waited for a while, the archmage would return and bring life back to the village. Later, they had no chance to leave.
No mage has ever come here again.
In Halruaa, having no magic means having nothing. The village was abandoned by the capital; the people watched as the fertile farmland was covered with yellow earth, and the sun burned the crops to death ten times over. The villagers were imprisoned here by the scorching sun, the dried-up stream, and the disdain of those in power; they reproduced with a soul-crushing scornfulness, imprisoning their offspring with them. This village had survived to this moment, and no one knew why they had persisted or when it would end.
But there was nothing they can do, they didn’t have magic.
Alsten fell silent. Perhaps he was dumbly praying in his mind, or cursing the potentates of Halruaa who were enjoying peace at the moment while the people here were suffering. After a long period of soundlessness, Alsten asked the last question, inquiring about the child with horns.
The children in the village were excited to see a real paladin, a character they had only heard about in bedtime stories. The adults were also excited because the children had not been so happy for a long time; the prolonged hunger had almost made them forget what positive emotions were, and also Alsten gave some of his own food and goods to the villagers. Alsten wanted to stay here for a while longer to help the people. His ten days in the village were the joyful time of the village in ten years.
The kids always gathered around Alsten, hearing his stories of battling monsters, touching his armour, and asking him to demonstrate swordsmanship. Alsten was also happy to be with these poor children, but he paid most attention to Zel, the only non-human among them.
Zel was the youngest among this kids but seemed to be much wiser than the others. Compared to hero stories or swordsmanship, Zel preferred to hear Alsten talking about the worship of Tyr.
Alsten told Zel about Tyr's dogma, informing her of Tyr leading the good gods and their followers to fight against evil and chaos. He explained how Tyr's paladins are constantly engaged in the battles protecting the weak, spreading law and justice wherever they go. Zel was fascinated by these concepts and told Alsten that she too wanted to become a paladin of Tyr.
Alsten knew that despite having daemon blood, Zel owned a good soul; he also knew that it would be difficult for her to become a paladin.
Everyone in the village expected Zel to become a wizard, as the village needed one. Zel was the village's pride and joy - a descendant of daemon with gifted intelligence, a perfect vessel for arcane magic.
The elders told Alsten that they wanted Zel to go to the city to study arcana, no matter how many resources it would consume. Halruaa was a fair kingdom, and regardless of whether one was human or tiefling, as long as one could master magic, they could ascend to the higher class. Only in this way could the city dwellers be reminded of the village's existence, and Zel could help the people here as a mage with greater power. Alsten knew he was old, especially in this environment, he had very little time left in the world of the living. In the future days there would be no better chances than Zel. He only hoped that before he died, he could see the people leave this place; having Zel as their savior, lived somewhere no one had to worry about being starved.
Alsten realized that he had nothing more to do to help the village, and he had a mission to complete. He could not stay any longer.
Before leaving, Alsten gave Zel a holy symbol of Tyr - a silver emblem carved with a scale supported by a warhammer.
Alsten Lorinhall was the greatest person Zel had ever knew, greater than any archmage the elders had spoken of.
Every Wizard Needs a Raven
The young man responsible for seeking help outside the village brought Zel a few arcane books.
Zel did not like studying magic. She wanted to become a paladin who vanquished evil, rather than becoming a wizard for power and resources. Tiresome politics, she thought, if she became a paladin, she could help the villagers by carrying out acts of justice under the guidance of Tyr, she could eliminate their plight. Isn't such goodness better than being a spellcaster who was only more superior than commoners in terms of class?
But Zel had no sword, nor could she command divine powers. She didn’t really have anything. Except when the rare travelers passing through here, with whom Zel could talk and learn about outside the village; at other times, she had nothing to do but read the books.
Zel knew that this was the only thing she could do to make life better for the people around her. But she also prayed to Tyr frequently, hoping that another, or even more, paladins would come here; perhaps Alsten would come back here, too. They would bring bountiful food to the villagers and tell them that good days had come, that there would be no more suffering, and that the paradise on earth had been built. She also dreamed of being a member of them, fighting against demons and dragons, protecting the innocent and defending order.
There were few animals on the wasteland, except for insects and some birds flying across the sky. The birds rarely landed anywhere in the village but flew straight away, casting shadows under the scorching sun.
Zel saw a large, black-feathered bird standing on a pile of rocks. Its head was turned aside from her, but its hollow white eye seemed to follow her around.
She approached the bird; the bird did not fly away, but continued to stare at her with one eye. She poked the bird's tail, the bird it did not react; she stroked its feathers, the bird remained still.
Zel started talking to the bird; the bird just kept staring at her with one eye. She could tell it everything without any reservations, and the bird never made a sound. She did not know if the bird could understand her, but she thought it could, at least no less than other people could.
Since then, this bird has been following Zel. She learned from the villagers that it was a raven. The elders were extremely pleased about this; they said that a familiar was the symbol of a wizard, especially a raven. Every wizard needs a raven.
The elders felt that the time had come, that Zel was ready to go to the city to become a wizard apprentice. During that time, the entire village was filled with hope.
Zel did not feel particularly happy. She communicated with others less and spent more time with her raven, telling it her thoughts, and praying to Tyr with it. She felt that birds were better than people. They were not intelligent like people, but that was why they would not commit unnecessary evil deeds, only doing what was necessary to survive, no more, no less.
The elders planned how to take Zel to the city; there was only one old horse in the village, which meant the journey would be difficult, but not impossible. Perhaps they could hire a guard from the nearest town and bring enough provisions - the villagers were willing to starve for this. Once Zel was sent to the city, everything would be better.
Everyone in the village was planning and waiting...
The only old horse died.
The dead horse lay on the ground; the corpse had already emitted a foul smell in the high temperature. This stench, mixed with the horse dung and urine residue in the corner, drove away any villagers who dared to approach. The atmosphere in the stable was suffocating, and time seemed frozen here, all light and sound seemed frozen; an indescribable sense of despair enveloped the entire village; only the sun who continuing tormenting everyone - it was eternal.
Without the only horse, they couldn't even reach the nearest town.
Everyone knew this day would come, and they prayed that it wouldn't come so soon, at least not before their big plan was implemented. Some people suddenly felt relieved, that they could finally put down all their panicking hopes.
No one felt they were tricked by fate; they should have this a long time ago, and they deserved it.
On the second day, the most respected elder stopped breathing; no one mourned him.
On the third day, the young man who kept the horses committed suicide; no one mourned him.
On the fourth day, the fifth day... more people ended their lives. The remaining people suddenly seemed to discover something and began to blame Zel for killing everyone. She was a devil's bastard on earth, along with her equally evil raven companion; they would drag everyone into hell.
Zel did not feel angry; did not feel sad; she did not know what she felt, perhaps only numbness. She still stayed with her raven, but stopped praying to Tyr. She knew that this place, and everyone on it had already lost their future. From beginning to end, she did not shed a tear; only her raven kept howling incessantly, like a requiem written for the inevitable destruction, repeating a harsh chord; calling for the rest that she didn’t know when it would arrive.
On the morning of gods knew how many days after, Zel woke up and found her mother's body lying on the bed, lifeless. Her clothes were too loose on her body after days without food, like a shroud covering her. The eyelids were deeply sunken, cheeks lifeless and yellowish-grey; her slightly open mouth waited for the last piece of bread that would never come.
There were no Paladins, nor demons or dragons; only a group of people who were about to starve to death, and the fierce flames bring down, eternal sun.
Zel leaned against her mother's bed; fell into exanimation.
A Nestling Drowned in Its Own Feathers
Zel was awakened by a chirping of a bird. Her world was blurry, filling with dazzling colour blocks; she could hear her heart pounding, like when an machine was heading for collapse, everything else was a faint buzzing sound, as wind blowing through leaves, or is that the running stream of Styx? Her tongue is stuck to the roof of her mouth; she wanted to make some sound, but only felt her throat vibrating.
Another bird chirping, then she felt something was stuffed in her mouth, it tasted like wood, and charcoal, and steel, and soil... Zel swallowed the little lump in her mouth; it tasted like a grain product.
The bread was unpalatable, and the raven brought a backpack of it. Zel tore off the crust with her sharp teeth; quickly finishing half of the backpack. Zel didn't know where the bread was found, but it helped her live through another day.
The body of her mother on the bed had long started to decay; the stench filled the whole room, attracting swarms of flies. Zel fled the house.
There was no one outside; everyone in the village seemed to be dead.
Zel wanted to escape this village of death. She had nothing to take with her except a few books and the holy symbol of Tyr.
She knew the nearest settlement was to the south, but it was still a long way off. She relied on the sun to determine the direction and walked straight south on foot. Along the way, her raven always looked for food for her, whether it was from the more civilized world or strange plants and insects - she trusted her raven.
Many days passed, and Zel did not find any place with people. Perhaps her direction was wrong, but it didn't matter any longer. She encountered a caravan fleet.
The lead was an exotic decorated carriage pulled by a brown horse, followed by two caravans pulled by two horses each. The people in the caravans saw a black figure standing in the distance, with a small black dot hovering around it.
It was a fiend! Or a witch! People in the caravans got excited, taking out their weapons, sparks flying from their hands or gripping their holy symbols. The figure approached quickly, then the people calmed down. It looked like a child just over ten years old, short and thin, completely buried in dust, and not at all intimidating; she had a pair of horns, but that was all.
They let Zel onto a caravan, gave her food and clothing. Zel felt satiety for the first time.
There were all kinds of people in the fleet, from all corners of Faerûn. They were merchants, travel writers, and adventurers, traveling together throughout the mainland. One cleric noticed the holy symbol of Tyr Zel carried, and asked if she was a follower of Tyr.
Zel shook her head. Tyr's warhammer protected those who suffer under the affliction of evil, but what about those who suffer under the law? Tyr wouldn't even bother to weigh her and her village on his scale.
They asked Zel where she was headed; Zel shook again. She had nowhere to go.
The raven silently watched from the caravan window. The people asked Zel what was her raven's name.
"Requiemis," Zel recalled the raven's mournful howling, like a requiem for the damned; the name couldn't be more fitting.
Ever after, Zel traveled with the fleet, sometimes helping villagers or wanderers they met on the road; she sold Tyr's holy symbol and gave the golds to some refugees. She never knew where she was headed.
A cleric of Ilmater on the caravan told Zel that if she didn't know what to do, just prayed to Ilmater. The Broken God listened to the cries of all those who suffered.
So Zel began to pray to Ilmater in doubt.
The cleric of the Broken God never talked about obscure theological theories, but rather cared about real suffering. If someone can sympathize with the suffering of others, that is enough, he often said, if one can be willing to share the pain of others, that is already walking the path of Ilmater.
There was a wizard in the caravans named Sileia Castriver; Castriver is a wizarding family. Sileia took good care of Zel, always giving her food, teaching her some small magic tricks, and helping to clean Requiemis's feathers, as if Zel was her sibling. Other people in the caravan gave Zel the nickname “Junior Castriver”, and gradually Zel became Zel Castriver.
Zel learned some spells from Sileia and other casters, even though she didn't like arcana. Zel always wondered if she could have learned more spells earlier, perhaps the people in the village wouldn't have died. This made her feel a little remorse. But another voice told her that even if she did become a wizard and go to the city, the ending of the people in the village would not change any different. The elders were just as foolish as other people, and as naïve as herself; they believed that things could be changed just by a horse and a spellcaster.
Zel felt like a nestling bird - most nestlings were always bald, but she was a nestling with rich feathers. She was hoped to fly, but in the end only drowned in her own feathers.
She wished to be a true wizard, an archmage, even if it would make her hate herself. She didn't want to become like the mages of Halruaa, using magic for power and personal gain. She wanted magic to always help those who suffered; it was the best thing she could do. Not because she wanted to be a wizard, but because she had no other better choice.
Requiemis chirped, as if it approved her decision.
Zel looked at her raven; if she had a choice, she would also like to be a bird, not having too many feathers in her youth; with no other considerations, she could fly to far-off places to seek for food when she was hungry.
Sileia told Zel that if she wanted to learn magic, she could go to Baldur's Gate, where Sileia learned her magic. It was a prosperous metropolis, home to many great wizards, and no one would discriminate against her because of her horns.
Zel nodded; thought about it all night.
Zel then knew where she wanted to go.
<Edit: 14/3/2024>
Zel has technically became an archmage, and mastered many advanced form of Weave, even raw magic to an extent, yet she thinks that even with the growth of her mastery over the Art, she is still very much powerless to change anything, and remains hopeless to that regard.
She left the coast accompanying Gigi, her first love for a trip around Faerûn at Mirtul 12, 1359 DR, and returned at Alturiak 8, 1360 DR.
At Ches 3, 1360 DR, Zel casted a Gate to travel to Hades, in an attempt to seek for a cure for her heritage of existential despair, and the inability to feel positive emotions, from the River Styx. The attempt was essentially deemed futile when she found herself under constant attack from fiends roaming the river bank of Styx in the Blood War; Zel fell into the water of Styx, temporarily lost her short-term memories and received extreme agony to her soul. With her last bit of consciousness, she casted a Gate to return to the material plane, and was found in a coma within the tent outside the Friendly Arms Inn. Later with the help of Aela Lathyaan and a scroll of Shapechange, Aela was able to turn into an illithid to connect to the damaged mind of Zel to help her fix and recover consciousness.
FutureHidden: showShe may still want to cure herself of despair, but since the failure of her last attempt, she is not counting on it.
Nothing ever ends.
Heirloom itemHidden: show
- The old spellbook: The only item related to magic left behind by the archmage who built the village, its cover and pages are worn and tattered, with characters barely discernible.
- An exquisite enchanted dagger: A gift from the cleric of Ilmater, he told her that much of the suffering of the afflicted comes from the force of others; if all her magic and wits cannot make the evildoer drop the blade, then use this dagger to protect the weak.
- A key retrieved from the shadow plane: The only thing Zel has brought back to the material plane from her first visit to the shadow plane. It's surrounded by shadow of negative energy, no one knows what it opens.
Plot hooksHidden: show
- Zel's inheirited curse still remains mostly a mystery to her.
- Zel's father is still alive and serving a sentence in Amn.
- Zel's surname does not belong to her.
- Even though Zel's patron deity is Ilmater, she is not exactly religious, and in many occations even appear disrespectful and resentful towards gods.
- Zel is a prime Sharran material. It will be no surprice if Sharran orders, or Shar herself ever lays eyes on her.