Journal of Na'Karia

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RavenCredale
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Journal of Na'Karia

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Entry 1:

Today was...different than my normal ones. It was ... Fun. A social event involving a mystery game. I had my hunch on the culprit but didn't cast my vote. I figured I could go back to my lone wolf ways and collect funds like I usually do. But as of late since I arrived here in these lands ... I have come to be perplexed by the actions and characters of others. I find my self confused by them more often than not. Their kindness... And tolerance for one such as myself...it confuses me. Should they not be treating me like a monster? Should I not be viewed as lesser then them or just some slab of meat?

Maybe...what I experienced in Thay...what I had grown to call normal... wasn't the best thing for me. Thay had taught me to keep my mouth shut. To never speak and never to be seen unless the master desired it. I learned the feeling of a whip being cracked on my back as punishment for disobeying things. I tended to the lashes after wards and seethed with quiet tears while the lashes healed.

That was what I was use to. The chains, the confinement, the crushing feeling of knowing that I would be nothing in the eyes of those more powerful than I could hope to even be. And I hated it. I grew to resent it, resent myself for allowing it to continue to happen. I knew a dark life with no ray of hope to show me a better path. By all rights, I should be evil in some way...yet I am not. I do not care for good nor Evil. I just want to survive.

But I feel like I am getting off topic, I reminiscing about how today was a good day. I had fun today and didn't keep the the same plan I always had. I should...speaks with others more...attempt to make friends...though the concept is still unfamiliar to me.
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Re: Journal of Na'Karia

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Entry 2:

Greenest...the Green Fields, they are places of interest to the group I have found myself to now be a part of. Some are aware of what I can do, where I am from, the sort of life I had. Only one in the group knows of my Pact. Only one to really ask I think, if I'm miss remembering then I may have taken one to my hits from a Flind earlier. But this group has been...comforting so far.

One question, rather statement, was posed to me the other day. Something revolving around love and companionship. I do not believe it would be smart of me to seek such things out. Not while I still have a debt to pay. Not only would I be in danger but so would they, and my patron would use them as leverage over me to force me into commiting damnable acts. I cannot afford that. This is my burden to bare and if the path demands I bare it alone...then so be it.

I know others have said they if I need aid, I have but to ask. But what if my payment to my patron is something that goes against morals? Devil's are known to be corruptive beings. A simple 'Do this for me and then we're even.' is not how their deals go. Mine wanted my soul, I refused, now I'm in debt to them and with no means of knowning whwn or where they would have me settle this debt.
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RavenCredale
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Re: Journal of Na'Karia

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Entry 3:

Lately things have been dull, dull enough that I've been entertaining the idea of opening an Inn called the Tipsy Imp or something along those lines. I still don't know where I'd set it up or whom I would employ, perhaps other tieflings who need work. I don't know...maybe when my debt is paid to that blasted Patron I'll figure something out. Til then I suppose I can keep thinking up different maybe better names for the Inn. For now I can keep testing my blade on the Hill giants near Nashkel or head up north to walk in the High Moors. These two places seem to hold the most entertainment so far when I'm beside myself. Durlags Tower still poses a moderate threat to me, all because of the Helm Horrors and Basilisks there...but in time they won't be a challenge. In time I'll be better.
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Re: Journal of Na'Karia

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Entry 4:

These lands of Baldur's Gate still perplex me, I have been here for more than a few moons, three to five perhaps.... maybe less, and yet there are still things that I am learning. People that I still do not quite understand, events of things that make me wonder. I am perplexed by the wealth of information that is tucked away under the surface of people. Perhaps if I had even been pacted to a being who sought knowledge more than my current patron, I might have lived differently. I wonder if I could have been pacted to Ohgma really, then I could have set out seeking long forgotten knowledge. But that is not the hand I was dealt. Perhaps in an alternate life that may have been the case. But not this rendition of my life. I do wonder, if I had not made the deal with my current patron, would things be different for me? Would they be better? Or would they be worse? No one ever seems to consider that choices could make things worse. They always think they will just get better.

But my mind has also been drifting back to the events that happened around Greenest. How cultists razed a town...how innocent lives were taken or sold to a devil for power by the warlocks I had seen there...It makes me look at my own position. I may not have sold my soul for my abilities, but I am not collecting or gathering souls for my Patron either. If anything I'm a rogue warlock for him. He gifted me with what I can do, yet as I grow in power, I feel like the other shoe is going to drop. When I least expect it. I've already learned up to the fourth circle of Invocations, I've taken time to develop my skills to use scrolls and wands as well...So when? When will I be called on? If I'm called on? If not, when will I be hunted? Or has it already begun? It's a wonder that I haven't been hunted down by paladins yet just because of my horns and tail, but...I am surprised by the fact that there are those who would not state when I am. I know, that those like me are to be hunted down or killed on sight. After all getting power from beings divine or hellish is not something to look kindly on. Especially the Hellish ones. Yet, the reasons why are always different.

I still wonder...If I was not born with the horns or tail...if I was a regular human who lived a different life away from Thay. Would I still turn out the way I am now? Or would I be someone else entirely? ...I wonder if my patron just grows bored of me too, me the number of times I sit around writing seems to be often. Though I think he finds entertainment in watching me run around as a Hellhound just biting things...Part of me is glad my patron is not Asmodeus...
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Re: Journal of Na'Karia

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Entry 5:

We managed to find and save the Empath today, but there was a price to it. I've taken it up on myself to owe the Masquerade Court *one* favor. My gut tells me that this was a foolish choice. That the price they're going to ask of me will be greater than I can afford. Maybe not as Big as sellingt soul, but still something that would be hard to replace. Nevertheless I don't regret this course of action. I know I can help this empath learn how to channel her abilities. She said she didn't mean to, and back in the other village with the mages...she wrote that it had happe ed again and apologized for it. Something about this...reminds me of myself in a strange way. It reminds me of how I needed to learn to manage my power better and keep it hidden from those who I thought would seek to harm me.

I feel like I need to help her...so that I can help myself. But what happened today...it shouldn't have gotten that bad. I should have had a better handle of the situation. And yet...I panicked. I got distracted. We nearly lost her all because I was hesitant. And then I just let my anger get the better of me and used not one but two of my shape change scrolls. I was to rash to action. I should have chosen a better path to get here. I guess there's no point in dwelling on it now. What's done is done.

I sort of want to keep the empath around out of pure spite for the court. Thinking we'd just hand her over like that when they couldn't even answer the questions they threw at us. Like they have all the answers....who am I kidding, they probably do. Hells, I hope this favor isn't going to bite me in the arse later. Maybe I should take my attention away from the Planes and start learning what I can about this Masquerade Court. Worst that can happen to me is I'm killed and the body is left in an unmarked grave...and my souls suffers in the fourth circle of the nine hells...on top of my patron getting back what power he gave me...I really should try and break free of this debt...I hate not knowing what it is...maybe the monsters and bandits I've faced is the payment...I'm repaying my patron in Blood and Souls....and each time I take a life...he makes me stronger....gods thats a twisted sense of irony. He makes me stronger, just so I can suffer more once I'm all used up....my soul is the last one he'll claim after I've claimed enough to presumably satisfy him....that has to be what the debt is.

I need to stop this train of thought. I know he can hear them, like a little voice telling me that "it's okay to do the terrible" things...like earlier today...I need to refocus myself. Focus on helping the Empath as much as I can however I can. Though...maybe it shouldn't be me...mean given how I look and what I can do...I might scare her...I hate being called scary...I'm use to it but I still hate being referred to as "the scary teiflings". Ah well, it is what it is with the world.
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Re: Journal of Na'Karia

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Entry 6:

I wonder if it is strange, to find comfort sitting here in the temple of Kossuth knowing that in his eyes I am tainted and impure. I wonder if I mean so little to the god I looked to even when I was a slave in the country that praised him. I have spent so much time in his hot temple that I've swear bullets, yet still I wonder why I continue to return to it. Why I continue to meditate in the heat and walk the fire path each time. Fire does not harm me or bother me much, thanks to my infernal blood no doubt.

Even so I cannot help but wonder things even as I write this. Though I know many would not think to search for me here. Not without figuring out that I'm from Thay or remembering I told them such. Nevertheless it is a quiet spot for me to come to and collect my thoughts before I move on with searching for individuals that might aid Myradon.
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Re: Journal of Na'Karia

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Entry 7:

A rogue Warlock of Belial...Huh, it's funny that I say it out loud now. I know the deal between him and I was never fully explained and I know that I am grasping at straws as to what Belial would want from me. I refuse to give up m soul but the terms of the pact are "Favor for a Favor." He gave me a means to get my own freedom and now I need to repay that favor. I just can't come to settle on just one thing he could ask for. Devils are tricky, twisting words to suit them. I want to assume that the Favor is to offer the soul of some I love, but I couldn't do that. Then again my idea of love is something you only find in fairy tales and childrens book. Some white knight coming in to save the damsel in distress...Yet...that knight never came when I needed them. No I got a Devil instead, one I despise and Hate. Part of me thinks that I'll be dead within a year or two. I mean, I can't escape this one. I'm chained to his service til he tells me exactly what he wants.

I suppose that's how I stay in chains. I may have freedom but I'm chained to the Service of Belial. And if he never tells me what he wants from me then I can't escape him. So all I can do is rebel. Rebel until I'm unable to live. I wish I knew a way to rid myself of this pact. Favor for a favor...How stupid was I to agree to such terms. It was rigged to suit him in the end. I should have thought more on what I was getting into. I should have found some other way to get out of my chains in Thay. I should have done something other than trust a devil and his offer. Had it been different...had I been less desperate...

It doesn't matter now...what's done is done. I can't change the past and if I could...the person I am now wouldn't exist. There's probably a version of me out there in the multiverse that's free of her chains. Free to explore the world as she sees fit. Free to do what ever she likes and not feel like she has to watch her back all the time. I can only hope that version of myself lives a full and happy life. If I could and if I knew one, I'd probably as a Chronomancy to take me back to the day I took Belials offer and stop her. I'd have probably created a paradox though. The current me wouldn't exist...but maybe that's for the best? If I had to pick the sort of life style I wanted after running from Thay...I'd want to me a Warmage or something similar to what I am now. Maybe I'd still be a Warlock but not pacted to a Devil. Wonder if I could be pacted to something else....Now that I think about it....maybe I can make another pact to a different deity....what was the one that drow spoke of? Slime god? Hmm....I'll have to read up on that one I suppose. Worst case I go with something more obscure. ...Just no more Devils...

But what would the consequence be if I broke the pact with Belial...Forfeit my soul or life no doubt...What have I gotten myself into...
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Re: Journal of Na'Karia

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Entry 8:

It had never crossed my mind before, nor did it weigh on it. Yet it seems that the more time I spend up in the north, around others like myself, the more I am beginning to wonder. Where did my bloodline start? Who should I blame? Why does it feel almost natural to give into the anger at times? Perhaps I am of an Erinyes? Or maybe Fierna herself. That would be a rather interesting thing considering I'm pacted to her father...if it were that....I would technically be pacted to my....great...great...great(?) Grandfather? Not to mention the number of times I've stated wanting to slap my patron...I'd be slapping my grandpa...then again this is all speculation. There's no possible way that is the case. It can't be. I won't accept it if it is...gods above and below I hope it's not the case. This whole thing would be entirely awkward...

Yes I gained Eldritch powers...but they're from my grandfather! And now I owe grandpa a debt of some kind but the old fart has neglected to tell me what he wants from me as payment! I'm half tempted to go looking for a soul coin or some ancient relic to chuck at him and be done with the debt. Though I wonder, if the debt is paid off does that mean I'll lose my invocations? Probably not but it's something to keep in mind in case it does happen. I suppose. In any case, I need to sleep...I can think on this another day.
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Re: Journal of Na'Karia

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Entry 9

Five hours spent in the Temple of the Flame Lord. Five hours spent running my thumb over my mask as I held it in my hands. Ironically the only place I ever fel comfortable enough to take my mask off is in the temple of Kossuth. The only place I feel as though my pact will never actually come into play. I suppose I should be glad that no one visits there often, I should also be glad that I put obsidian gems into the eye sockets of my mask. It was a nightmare to cut them so thin that I can see through them but other can't see my eyes. However...I suppose this is the best place I can explain my pact. Belial never said I couldn't write it out. Just if I tried to verbally explain it I'd need to use vague analogies or metaphors.

But...my pact is such:

Those who look me in the eye and say "I love you" with genuine honesty, I am to kill them. This goes for anyone. Lover, friend, anyone. And it doesn't stop at just that phrase is it those three words specifically. For example if one were to tell me "I would love to see you dance." When my mask is off I am bound to take that persons life. Regardless if I want to do so or not. I have no choice in the matter because that is the deal of the pact. If I can die of old age without having taken a life through my pact, Belial will release me from my pact and my soul can go to Kossuths realm.

So I wear this mask. My patron, twisted as he may be, is cunning so I need to be as equally as cunning as him to win our game. Though...I feel like he has stacked thighs s against me eventually putting me kin a spot where I'll have no choice...

If I want to beat my patron at his game...I need to be better. I need to stop listening to his blood and the blood of his daughter...I'm better than this. I know I can be.
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Re: Journal of Na'Karia

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Entry 10:

I've decided to confine myself to Greenest for the next couple days, maybe a week. Give me a bit of time to sort of withdrawal from being in Soubar so much. I'm not sure why I spend so much time up there honestly. Why I find it fun to be there among the Chaotic days. I'm away of the darkness it has below the surface. A place with only two laws? No it's not so simple as that. Yet being up there has landed me in a spot where I may have unintentionally brought misfortune to Myradon.

I wonder if I really am evil. If everything that I've done and believed in now was nothing but a lie I told myself. All my beliefs til now...what I stand for...I feel like I shouldn't be questioning this so much. Is it fear? Guilt? Why does it feel like I messed up somewhere? The number of things that I had said or done up in Soubar...I'm trying to recap them all in my mind but in doing so I can tell I'm over thinking things. I wish I had a besty who was like me. Able to give me a proper slap upside the head for moments like these. I said I would do it for another if they started to over think...I didn't expect myself needing it sooner.

Maybe if I drink til I black out I can relax a bit...but it's never fun to drink along.
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Re: Journal of Na'Karia

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Entry 11:

Seems even I cannot escape the memories. They're burned into my mind and though I would enjoy not remembering those days. It would seem that I am still unable to look at my reflection. I needed to pay the innkeep for the damages I did to my room in Greenest. A broken Mirror and some claw marks on the walls. Seems isolation and I are not to be in the same company for so long. It would appear that if I am to stay sane I need another to be in my vicinity. How pitiful. I have grown use to the company of others that without it the voices get louder. So loud they get. It becomes unbearable to tolerate it for an extended amount of time. How can one stand the silence? How does one drown the terrible memories out? Whiskey use to help but I see his face again and again. Burning in the fire of the Red Wizards. Reaching out to me, begging me to make it stop. Pleading with Kossuth to end the pain. Those memories assaulted my conscious mind, rendering me in a state of panic. Backing myself into a corner where I could do nothing but curl into a ball and hold my head down. Even throwing my mask off my face, having it clatter to the wooden floors of the inn...

Yet...their young charred hand continued to stretch towards me. Their sky blue eyes, hazing over as they look at me in terror, pleading to me to save them. My darling little brother...stolen from me. Ripped from my hands and tossed into the flames all to appease Belial. My sweet little brother....who's memory haunts me in my solitude. Who appears to me in mirrors when I am not with others. His haunting eyes follow me, hand still stretched out as if begging me to save him still. Yet...I am pacted to the one he was sacrificed to. He may not have been my blood, but he was my most precious treasure when I was in chains. I valued his company most of all. When the masters would try to harm him I stepped in the way to keep their whips from harming him. The Red Wizards noticed this, and used it against me. Belial knows this and uses it against me.

Such a sweet boy he was. A smile on his face despite being a slave. His name...it was Thrand. Dusky skin tone, eyes as blue as the sky, he told me that he was bought from Chult. Only sixteen when he was sacrificed...I was twenty two then....so barely two years have gone by since then...I had hoped that he would of survived. I hoped that he would have been able to have a free life. If it hadn't been for me...maybe he could of had that. I think it was the day after tomorrow that will mark two years. Ironically is is also the day that I made my pact as well. The rage, the anger then desire for vengence it was all there. Everything I needed to make them pay for taking Thrand from me. I was desperate for it, I thirsted for it. I could have taken their lives right then and there. However....I remember what Thrand told me months before.

"You have such a nice smile Big Sis. I hope you never lose it. You've also got a good heart too!"

The only thing that kept me from walking a darker path then...that still keeps me from following that darkness despite what my Patron bestows on me...are those words. I miss my little brother dearly, I think of where he might have been now if only I had been stronger back then. If I had done something different that sit there and watch him burn. If I had stopped his screams from ever echoing in my ears to this day.
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Re: Journal of Na'Karia

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At the temple of Kossuth, Na'Karia is seen outside it with a half empty bottle of Firebelly Whiskey beside her and a campfire. She takes a sip of the whiskey then pours a bit of it into the campfire, causing it to flair up for a moment or two before it goes back down to a normal size. A faint chuckle escapes her as she takes her mask off the pulls out her journal to write a new entry.

Entry 12:

To my dearest little brother Thrand,

I've managed to survive and to break out of the chains the masters had us in. However you wouldn't be happy to know it was with the aid of Belial. It would seem that I am now in a sort of game where my soul is on the line. Belial wants me to kill the people I cherish through the pact. They need look me directly in the eyes, say a sentence with the words "I, Love, & You" in them. I know you could think of all the phrases this means. It doesn't stop at romantic, it includes platonic as well. So long as the person is genuine in their words. It makes me glad that you're not here Little brother. If I had heard you say those words to me ... I don't want to think about it.

I got your favorite drink though. Firebelly Whiskey, I remembered when you first introduced this stuff to me. I was coughing for a while. The burn of it was so harsh it felt like actual fire. But we drank the whole bottle that night. And got punished for it the next day.

But I'm doing alright little brother. I've those who can help me smile.
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Re: Journal of Na'Karia

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Entry 13:

I think it's time I start heading back to the southern region. Soubar has been a place where I have been able to hone my skills better, but I should be focusing on Myradon now that Yuri and Ekvir are back. I need to start acting like a Vice Archon again and work toward making the Vindicators better. It does sadden me a bit that I will have to miss out on the daily jabs I have with another but duty calls and I must answer it. Perhaps when I have time I will visit and share a glass of whiskey with those I know. There is much to do for Myradon, many ties that can be made or looked into. Esme still needs our help after all and we still need to build our keep. The ruins near Greenest that the Flinds occupy seems like the ideal place for it.

We'll also need outposts for Firewine Bridge. Maybe rebuild the beige and make a path for a trade with Gullykin too. A lot to do on top of looking to recruit more members. We've got some fighters, a few mages but we lack a proper healer. Hopefully one prospect will join us after meeting the others. I'll have to talk to Yuri later as well about anyone else he might consider. We should set up some events too to get a bit more traction. After seeing Ekvir return...I feel like I've gotten a dose of rejuvenation.

Now if only Nai would appear. Then it could be like the good ol days again.
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Re: Journal of Na'Karia

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Entry 14:

We've decided on where to make our keep, the hills overlooking the sharpetooth woods as well as the rest of the Uldon trail is ideal. Ironically though one path leading to the sharpetooth woods is also a path to the Elven settlement. Perhaps when we have the fort established we can get some better trade flowing between the elven settlement and Greenest. I know Yuri said that Rocky Creek was the area provider of trade, but perhaps we can work together? It would benefit the region, at least I hope it will anyways.

We know the keep is going to need the following things:
Interior:
- Offices for Archon & Vice Archons
- Kitchen
- mess hall
- barracks
- dungeon
- Rooms for magical & non-magic studies

Exterior:
- Stone walls (three or four floors high maybe more around the perimeter s)
- Watch tower
- Courtyard (I still say it needs a training pit!)
- Well (the one currently there needs to be checked first. Would be preferable to rejuvenate it.)
- two gates. One leading up the right siege ramp, the other in the direction of Dorn Amar.
- Stables
- Auction stand courtesy or contracted of the Mudd Brother's


A lot needs to be done, but now is the rest.
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Re: Journal of Na'Karia

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Entry 15:

Lately my dreams have been.... unsettling. I see the flames of Phlegethos with my patrons flowing eyes in the distance. I can feel the heat of the hellflames lash at my skin as I trudge through them. There is no one else with me as I make this march. No one to aid me in this ordeal if that is what it is. I am beside myself in his hell, walking to my doom willingly. All because there is one figure standing in the flames at his feet. One being I would go to hell and back for. My little brother.

The one I spoke to about my intentions of getting Thrand back, they said they would help but it would be more for their own benefit than mine. I can't say that I'm really surprised. Beyond that...I really haven't been as open or as honest with others. I've guarded myself or made one to many callous remarks. Perhaps it serves me right. Perhaps that dream I've been repeating is the fate I am destined to have. I don't know. I'm tired...and even with my time away from Soubar, being here in Greenest the dreams just keep getting worse. I wonder if it's sign that my time in this mortal plane will be over soon. I said I'd out live him, leave flowers and a bottle of whiskey on his grave...I don't think he'd do the same for me. Maybe laugh at the stone where my body won't be. Or maybe he'll just be detached and call me ta failure...maybe that's the theme of my life. Failure. Undeniable failure.

I can't say that he's wrong...neither of them are. I'm pathetic, more so than any living being should be. I'm weak, worthless... wouldn't surprise me if Belial thought the same and now wants me gone. I don't even know if Thrands soul is still the same...two years in a devils hell...Thrand might not even be Thrand anymore. It could be some creature...some fiend now...if it is...I'm sorry Thand...I'm sorry your big sister isn't the savior you deserve...I'm sorry I failed you...out of all the people I didn't want to....


....I'm sorry...
Moments after the entry is written, a loud crash of something ceramic hitting the wall echos through Greenest Inn. Na'Karia is found kneeling in front of the pieces of her broken mask before picking up the sharpest one and slicing from her forehead over her left eye to her cheek
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