Letter 20
I think this time I've really done it...
I really messed up.
It is not like me to act without thinking.
To run off into the unknown, but I had the urge to.
I could not stop myself as if I was not in control.
A mistake that will cost me dearly I fear...
I took the new one out for training that cycle.
As I heard myself explain things I could hear you through the words.
The same words as so many years ago when you spoke them to me.
Those goblins didnt stand a chance. I toyed with them so he could ambush them from behind. He did well Adin.
Then I saw it again in the distance.
Faint, but there... A small, red glow.
The cycle before I saw it as well and it escaped me.
This time it would not! I forgot about the jaluk I was teaching.
His existence as a distant memory pushed away.
I only saw that red glow.
Not even the black fog that started to swirl around me as I rushed off to that light.
I came close to it. So close!
I could almost feel its presence.
A black shape rushed out past me.
I barely saw anything and I intuitively swang my sword.
I hit metal. At least it sounded like it.
I ran after it again but my next blow hit nothing but darkness.
And only in that moment I noticed that all around me was darkness... Pitch black.
The same blackness I encountered when meeting that old jalil.
I cursed as I realised I ran into a trap.
I closed my eyes to concentrate.
There was nothing out there to see anything anyway.
I heard footsteps, likely Illythiiri foodsteps far away.
That must have been that jaluk.
I felt something else too, closer...much closer.
The air was cold and I heard my own heartbeat in my ears as I stood there listening.
It was circling me. I felt it, more than I heard it.
A red glow penetrated my eyelids and I opened my eyes.
I stared right into the creatures eyes.
Just eyes...red and glowing. Black shadows swirling around it.
I could not do anything else but stare for what felt like ages.
It was as if I forgot who I was, what I was doing there, and where I was.
I dropped my shield to the ground.
I could not stop it.
I was aware of what I was doing and I screamed to myself in my mind
to stop but it was like watching someone else doing it.
Unreal...
I saw how my left hand stretched out towards the eyes, trying to touch them.
What the hells was I doing!
I felt something at my left side.
My mind told me it was pain.
But it felt so distant...so faint.
I distractedly acknowledged I could not breath.
I wondered why... not even panicking.
All was just...numb.
Things happened fast all of a sudden then.
The pain became a searing pain and reality came back to me.
I staggered backwards, away from the eyes.
My legs collapsed underneath me.
My hand went to my side and I felt my own dagger,
embedded into me to the hilt.
I tried to stay awake.
If I had fallen then...I would have been lost.
The thing still stood there...watching me as I fought a lost battle with myself.
I heard laughter, female laughter.
The same laughter I heard that cycle when I met the old jalil.
I lost...and darkness took me.
I remember flashes of a jaluk face, the one I was teaching.
Someone dragging me away.
Someone screaming at me.
But I was so far away... I did not want to come back from it.
Let me stay where I am right now, I thought.
Silence, bliss, darkness.. don't take me out of this!
Cruel realitly came nevertheless.
I woke up in pain.
Feeling my body battered and crushed.
I didnt realise I was in such a bad state.
He tried to heal me. It helped.
My wounds were cured.
All but one... He had pulled the dagger out and I could see it next to me.
That black dagger with the red ruby spider.
The one she changed... I touched my left side and almost screamed out of pain.
A blackened wound I could not even heal with my most powerful spells.
If I don't find a way...I might join you soon Adin...
I might join you soon...
