Terrible jokes . . .

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Considerate_
Posts: 630
Joined: Tue May 11, 2010 5:51 am

Re: Terrible jokes . . .

Unread post by Considerate_ »

You forgot the old classic...

What did the hat say to the other hat?
Hidden: show
I'll just go ahead
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LISA100595
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Re: Terrible jokes . . .

Unread post by LISA100595 »

The one my kids tell me to stop saying...

Why did the mushroom go to the party?
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Cause he's a fun-gi
Thank Nathan (Penny) for telling me that one!
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V'rass
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Re: Terrible jokes . . .

Unread post by V'rass »

What kind of jokes are allowed in this thread? I have a metric ton of good jokes but they are almost all inappropriate at best and down right foul at worst.
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Considerate_
Posts: 630
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Re: Terrible jokes . . .

Unread post by Considerate_ »

Good jokes are not allowed!
Zanniej wrote:Terrible jokes. . . making you laugh only out of awkwardness.
Other than that, forum rules are to be observed as always :).
Hidden: show
Subject: Forum Rules
all_distorted wrote:Welcome to the Baldur’s Gate: The Sword Coast Chronicles forums. Please acquaint yourself with the following rules before posting:

1. Stay on topic. Please keep your posts relevant and do not make off-topic posts. If a subject is brought up in a thread which you believe merits a discussion, start a new topic in an appropriate forums section instead of derailing a current one.

2. No flaming. Personal attacks, disrespectful, derogatory, threatening, insulting or negative comments will not be tolerated. This encompasses "Trolling" which are posts that intend to do any of the above or disrupt the discussion.

3. If you have an issue with any other player or member of the staff OOC or ICly, do not post about it on the forums, instead use personal messages to solve it.

4. Please refrain from discussing politics and religion on these forums.

5. Do not swear or use profanity. Some leeway is allowed for IC posts, within reason. Modern day racial/social/political slurs have no place in IC or OOC posts. Images that include profanity must be edited to exclude the profanity, or they will be deleted.

Violation of the rules may result in posts being deleted or moved, threads being locked and/or moved, warnings to authors of posts violating the rules being issued, including temporary (or permanent) loss of posting privileges.

Thank you for taking your time to read and understand these rules and for helping us to maintain the forums a place for sharing ideas and opinions in a friendly and respectful environment.
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PiaMango
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Re: Terrible jokes . . .

Unread post by PiaMango »

Why do the Irish only put 239 beans in their soup?
Hidden: show
Because one more bean would be too farty
There's a subreddit dedicated to terrible jokes. Its the best and worse thing ever.
r/3amjokes
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Hoihe
Posts: 4721
Joined: Thu Nov 03, 2011 2:25 pm

Re: Terrible jokes . . .

Unread post by Hoihe »

PiaMango wrote:Why do the Irish only put 239 beans in their soup?
Hidden: show
Because one more bean would be too farty
There's a subreddit dedicated to terrible jokes. Its the best and worse thing ever.
r/3amjokes

For fellow GW2 players..

https://www.reddit.com/r/TrahearneJokes/

And the classic

Https://www.reddit.com/r/dadjokes
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Zanniej
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Re: Terrible jokes . . .

Unread post by Zanniej »

Considerate_ wrote:Good jokes are not allowed!
Zanniej wrote:Terrible jokes. . . making you laugh only out of awkwardness.
Other than that, forum rules are to be observed as always :).
Hidden: show
Subject: Forum Rules
all_distorted wrote:Welcome to the Baldur’s Gate: The Sword Coast Chronicles forums. Please acquaint yourself with the following rules before posting:

1. Stay on topic. Please keep your posts relevant and do not make off-topic posts. If a subject is brought up in a thread which you believe merits a discussion, start a new topic in an appropriate forums section instead of derailing a current one.

2. No flaming. Personal attacks, disrespectful, derogatory, threatening, insulting or negative comments will not be tolerated. This encompasses "Trolling" which are posts that intend to do any of the above or disrupt the discussion.

3. If you have an issue with any other player or member of the staff OOC or ICly, do not post about it on the forums, instead use personal messages to solve it.

4. Please refrain from discussing politics and religion on these forums.

5. Do not swear or use profanity. Some leeway is allowed for IC posts, within reason. Modern day racial/social/political slurs have no place in IC or OOC posts. Images that include profanity must be edited to exclude the profanity, or they will be deleted.

Violation of the rules may result in posts being deleted or moved, threads being locked and/or moved, warnings to authors of posts violating the rules being issued, including temporary (or permanent) loss of posting privileges.

Thank you for taking your time to read and understand these rules and for helping us to maintain the forums a place for sharing ideas and opinions in a friendly and respectful environment.
Jokes that make you cringe are allowed too. Though ofcourse, do try to follow the rules and try to not offend anyone.

Along those lines:

There are 500 bricks in an airplane. One falls out. How many are left?
Hidden: show
499
What are the 3 steps to put an elephant in a fridge?
Hidden: show
1) Open the fridge.
2) Put the elephant in.
3) Close the fridge
What are the 4 steps to put a deer in the fridge?
Hidden: show
1) Open the fridge.
2) Take the elephant out.
3) Put the deer in the fridge.
4) Close the fridge
It's the Lion King's birthday. Everybody is there, except one. Who's missing?
Hidden: show
The deer, because it's still in the fridge
A woman wants to cross an alligator infested swamp. How does she do it?
Hidden: show
She just crosses it normally, because all alligator's are at the Lion King's birthday
She still dies! How come?
Hidden: show
A brick fell on her head
Off to greener pastures
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Hoihe
Posts: 4721
Joined: Thu Nov 03, 2011 2:25 pm

Re: Terrible jokes . . .

Unread post by Hoihe »

Zanniej wrote:
Considerate_ wrote:Good jokes are not allowed!
Zanniej wrote:Terrible jokes. . . making you laugh only out of awkwardness.
Other than that, forum rules are to be observed as always :).
Hidden: show
Subject: Forum Rules
all_distorted wrote:Welcome to the Baldur’s Gate: The Sword Coast Chronicles forums. Please acquaint yourself with the following rules before posting:

1. Stay on topic. Please keep your posts relevant and do not make off-topic posts. If a subject is brought up in a thread which you believe merits a discussion, start a new topic in an appropriate forums section instead of derailing a current one.

2. No flaming. Personal attacks, disrespectful, derogatory, threatening, insulting or negative comments will not be tolerated. This encompasses "Trolling" which are posts that intend to do any of the above or disrupt the discussion.

3. If you have an issue with any other player or member of the staff OOC or ICly, do not post about it on the forums, instead use personal messages to solve it.

4. Please refrain from discussing politics and religion on these forums.

5. Do not swear or use profanity. Some leeway is allowed for IC posts, within reason. Modern day racial/social/political slurs have no place in IC or OOC posts. Images that include profanity must be edited to exclude the profanity, or they will be deleted.

Violation of the rules may result in posts being deleted or moved, threads being locked and/or moved, warnings to authors of posts violating the rules being issued, including temporary (or permanent) loss of posting privileges.

Thank you for taking your time to read and understand these rules and for helping us to maintain the forums a place for sharing ideas and opinions in a friendly and respectful environment.
Jokes that make you cringe are allowed too. Though ofcourse, do try to follow the rules and try to not offend anyone.

Along those lines:

There are 500 bricks in an airplane. One falls out. How many are left?
Hidden: show
499
What are the 3 steps to put an elephant in a fridge?
Hidden: show
1) Open the fridge.
2) Put the elephant in.
3) Close the fridge
What are the 4 steps to put a deer in the fridge?
Hidden: show
1) Open the fridge.
2) Take the elephant out.
3) Put the deer in the fridge.
4) Close the fridge
It's the Lion King's birthday. Everybody is there, except one. Who's missing?
Hidden: show
The deer, because it's still in the fridge
A woman wants to cross an alligator infested swamp. How does she do it?
Hidden: show
She just crosses it normally, because all alligator's are at the Lion King's birthday
She still dies! How come?
Hidden: show
A brick fell on her head
Image
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Montleberry
Posts: 211
Joined: Wed Apr 06, 2011 6:25 pm
Location: Boston, MA

Re: Terrible jokes . . .

Unread post by Montleberry »

Dumb D&D joke?

What do you call a druid that has taken the form of a hyena?
Hidden: show
A grassy gnoll.
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William Sunblade
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Location: UK

Re: Terrible jokes . . .

Unread post by William Sunblade »

Well i feel like i have been summoned by Lisa with that old joke. So here's another load for you

Why do psychiatrists give patients shock treatment?
Hidden: show
To prepare them for the bill
What's the disadvantage of keeping an open mind?
Hidden: show
Your ideas might fall out
What do you call a man with a car on his head?
Hidden: show
Jack
Why do hummingbirds hum?
Hidden: show
Because they don't know the words
All the toilet seats in the police station have been stolen.
Hidden: show
The theif is still at large, and the police have nothing to go on
Why does history keep repeating itself?
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Because we wern't listening the first time
How do you kill a circus?
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Go for the juggler
Why do cows wear bells?
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Because their horns don't work
A bear walks into a bar, goes to the bartender and asks "Can i have.............................. A pint of bitter please"
The Bartender turns round and says
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Certainly Sir, But why the big paws?
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V'rass
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Re: Terrible jokes . . .

Unread post by V'rass »

Two peanuts entered a bar, one was assaulted.
"To understand magic one must first understand magic."






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Nomster
Posts: 1941
Joined: Tue Jun 05, 2012 12:41 pm

Re: Terrible jokes . . .

Unread post by Nomster »

I am one of those who can never remember jokes and am really bad at telling them myself. I walked past a pet supply store today though and saw this written on a noticeboard outside,


What is Dracula's favourite pet?
Hidden: show
A bloodhound!
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Coal
Posts: 633
Joined: Mon Oct 29, 2012 7:28 pm

Re: Terrible jokes . . .

Unread post by Coal »

What did one burp say to the other burp?
Hidden: show
Let's be stinkers and go out the other way. :mrgreen:
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thids
Posts: 1254
Joined: Sat May 25, 2013 11:05 am

Re: Terrible jokes . . .

Unread post by thids »

This made me cringe so hard that my face almost fell off. Naturally, I immediately thought of this thread.
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V'rass
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Re: Terrible jokes . . .

Unread post by V'rass »

Erm... the balloon joke makes no sense what so ever?
"To understand magic one must first understand magic."






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