Don't Be Shy to Say Hi / Please Let Others Breathe

[selhan]

Hi there community members and most of all any and all new players,

Just a few something I wanted to put out there. This week I've had a leave from work and I have seen what appears to be a bunch of unfamiliar account log ins. I just want to say, if your new, don't be shy to say hi even though the other player might be known as a epic 30 or a longtime player. It's a world of RP. Even if your not familiar with anything D&D or our lore or setting, its better to ask. There's no shame in wanting to learn. There's a vast majority here willing to help and some willing to go further and teach everything. Nor will I lie to you so I will admit there is some whom will down right ignore you.

Just say Hi and ask. Don't be afraid. Also, don't let players role play attitude or personality fool you. Some player's characters come on strong, some very blunt, some even mean. Hell's my main character comes off flirty but that's an rp that was establish many years ago. How my character truly is, is a mystery to most. So don't get too easily fooled by first impressions. Wait for further dialog, the person your greeting might spit , grunt, scratch his backsides and act tough and rough. But give it a moment, keep talking, keep listening and you will see how that player of such an character tries to weave his role play words into assisting , helping and even giving you tips and tricks but doing so in his or her own way to not break out from their character. You might run into some real A..hats but just like in any other community in any other game mmo and so forth..your just gonna have your share of them.

Another thing I would like to put out, and this is for more towards long term players,

I know some of us itch for rp, itch to not have to play solo, itch to avoid being bored for hours. But please by the gods, could some of yall limit yourselves and give breathing room to new players ? Bombarding them with a mix of BG 101 + Rp gets overwhelming to some. Give the new ones time to feel out the game, the mechanics, the server. Allow them their own pace. I've brought over a few players from other games or other servers and a ratio of 2/6 didn't tap out. The others, felt overwhelmed, because the game felt more like an occupation than a game to have fun with, or some of yall creeped them out. Avoid ' Spamming them with tells or Beelining right to them when they log on and overwhelm them with your rp or what ever. Keep in mind most of us do log in with a plan or a scheduled reason.

[DaloLorn]

Keep in mind most of us do log in with a plan or a scheduled reason.

I think unless you've conducted polls or something, it's not really fair to make such generalizations.

For my part, probably around 90% of my uptime consists of either idling (often tabbed out with only the CE console visible on my other screen, so I won't notice people passing by unless they say something!) until I notice an opportunity for something better, or occasionally managing to follow through on such an opportunity. Generally speaking, the only scheduled reasons I have for a login are DM events I'm explicitly invited to (which is optimistically ~1 session a month), or events I'm personally hosting (ditto), because most events are scheduled in timeslots that make it impossible to attend for any meaningful amount of time, if at all.

As for planning... basically all the planning I can usually manage is picking a character and idle position that lets me encounter anyone I might be actively attempting to engage with, if any such people are even online (or likely to come online in the next few hours). Failing that, it's probably a character that's likely to be sought out (or otherwise noticed) by random people they know nothing about.

So please, everyone, if the player list says "DaloLorn" under a character's name, actively disregard Sel's last paragraph there, especially that last sentence, and feel free to overwhelm away. Even if the character doesn't want you bothering them for some IC reason or another, the player's generally there to be bothered.

[Young Werther]

Hi I'm new here

[Aspect of Sorrow]

Keep in mind most of us do log in with a plan or a scheduled reason.

I think unless you've conducted polls or something, it's not really fair to make such generalizations.

I and managers of House Marshall groups, Vanguard, can speak on this given large guild management multiple times over.

Many of us who started off playing a decade and change ago have grown up and started families, others have adult obligation. We cater as much as we can toward the time of availability that works for the majority of the group such that they can participate, some logging in late, some logging in early; it's even measurable for observers to see the call to task - the rapid party build up, the large group transfer, the return path and subsequent trickle down all within an hour or two throughout the workdays of the week.

Time matters, and if we delay or deviate the less engaged the player often finds themself.

For loot runs where we're frequently two-caster moving, I try to teleport groups quickly through the PvE content to account for hiccups; if we don't adhere to the window we end up with players who have to drop off due to aforementioned obligation and a loss of opportunity to what they set out to join. This applies to our RP venues as well.

[DaloLorn]

At the same time, that sort of focus does contribute to cliquish behavior, where members of the outgroup can only get involved if they're lucky, or if they know what the proper protocol is to approach the ingroup (and have no difficulties or objections to implementing that protocol). For my part, most cases of people insisting on scheduling each and every interaction a week in advance have evoked a response of "okay, I won't bother you with my stuff then", though I usually display enough tact not to tell them that to their face.

Sel isn't that sort of player, mind you - sometimes the plans he logs in for amount to "let's see what's gonna happen in my chosen bar tonight", so even if he is budgeting his time as strictly as the OP implies, there's at least a set period where he'll happily interact with whatever strangers come up to him. It's part of why the Goblet and the Undercellar are so successful: Because you know that if he's on one of those maps, there's almost certainly an opportunity for shady or semi-shady RP no matter who you are, and one visitor soon attracts more. Isabella was similarly a large contributor to the vitality of the Candlekeep gate and Eastern Farmlands campfire as RP hotspots for the same reason... not that the latter ever really needed her help back in the day.

At any rate, the main point of my reply was to note that there are exceptions to his rule, that some people are willing to be that kind of RP anchor regardless of their location, and that I consider myself to be one such exception by default. (... On paper. Some characters like Vilmar or Aela are probably not great at attracting or keeping company, due to being either too reclusive or too abrasive/prejudiced. )

[selhan]

With the later half of my post, what I mean is..

Example:
Players A and B had a set plan and schedule to rp. They finally meet up ig with rp to be taken care of. However Player C comes out of the wood works, beelines for one of the Player A or B ((Obviously using Scry)) and basically bullies or bullstomps their way in between trying to take one of the players away for their own rp purpose. My main point..it's simple..some people need to have the decency to be considerate and at least first ask if the player is busy.
I myself dont like keeping someone I had plans with overly waiting too long for a scheduled meet.
Stalker syndrome is shunned upon. Now Im a nice guy, and I myself loves trying to spread rp around. If Im not rping with you, its because of 1 of 2 reasons only. One I have no ic reason too, or two your a metagamer that I've blacklisted.

Im not a guy thats quick to report a player to staffs for any rule breaking or wrong doing, because I for one dont like seeing a smaller community. But dont let the nice guy fool you. Its just a bit frustrating when Im trying to bring players to this game , to this server even, and because of stalker syndrome, they decided not to play no more. Being respectful helps the server thrive.

Like Dalo said, you see me in either the Goblet or the Undercellar, hey you got a bartender willing to RP with you and sooner or later, other players will arrive. In such a case, your more than welcome to ignore me and rp with the other person to your hearts content. Cause as a bartender Im basically playing a better npc. I go out seeking rumors and the tendy topics so that when someone comes to the bar to ask a question in regards, I got something to tell em.

And dont go asking me names, not that type of guy, as I said I dont like shrinking the community. Not quick to push the report button.

[DM SummerBreeze]

And if you have any complaints, send them to DM Ink

[Steve]

Is the OP directed at me, Sel?

[Moonsong]

Partly i can sign what Sel says. Sadly some players can be very cliquish, and sometimes elitist. I’m not a new player and i still get to feel it. I tried to rp with groups and was outright ignored. Happened only yesterday, that i prepared a small event with someone and still i was partly ignored.

But to all the new players out there, don’t be discouraged. Keep trying till you find rp partners and friends here. If you play some spellcaster, and want to find a guild, you can poke me. I can help with rp in Candlekeep and was chosen to be the guide’s proxy temporarily, again. Also to the Mystra church i can help to make contact church or even contact to elven guilds.
If you play a bard who is interested to perform, poke me, too. RoseMiriel and me play the directors of the White Mask currently.

Just one well meant advice. Doing things in game only doesn’t work if you want to join a guild and be member of it. I tried with one player and my experience says it really gets stressful if different time zones are involved. It takes indeed some ooc communication for scheduling meetings and planning events together. So don’t be shy to reach out, even if you’re new. I enjoy helping new players and I’m tell friendly.

Since I’m a European player with health issues and a strict rl, I also would love to schedule and make appointment if time zones can meet and if spontaneous doesn’t work.

That being said, welcome to the server.

[Aspect of Sorrow]

At the same time, that sort of focus does contribute to cliquish behavior, where members of the outgroup can only get involved if they're lucky, or if they know what the proper protocol is to approach the ingroup (and have no difficulties or objections to implementing that protocol).

You don't get to the size we were and are by being insular and cliquish.