Re: A few NEW ha ha's worth
Posted: Wed May 28, 2014 7:07 pm
Neverwinter Nights 2 Persistent World BGTSCC Discussion Forum
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The frustration that comes with owning cows.
Whenever I tell people that I live on a farm that has cows, they get all excited and tell me how jealous they are. At that point, I just kind of laugh and that's when the confusion starts for anyone who has never spent time around cows. Cows are (hero). They do absolutely nothing but make their owners' lives living hell.
Have to get to work? Cows don't care. Need to make it to a doctor's appointment? Cows definitely don't care. Wife is having a baby? Doesn't matter one iota to cows.
Regardless of how much grass/hay they have access to, cows will always break through a fence for no other reason than they're (do-me) bored and want to see what's on the other side. Then, you have to go and chase them. This wouldn't be a problem, except for the fact that cows are stupid, stubborn (hero) who don't know left from right or up from down. They might remember the hole that they made in the fence, but that won't stop them from trying to get back into their field by making a new hole in the fence. When/If you finally get them heading back through the original hole, there's the process of making sure you have every one of them accounted for...Which never happens because there's always the one Butters cow that has no clue what's going on and decided to wander 1/4 of a mile away. Then you spend 20 minutes making sure you can carefully coax one single cow to go back home to their land of Hay and manure.
Once you're finally able to get them back into the proper field, you've gotta fix the hole they made. This isn't so bad, just a new post here, run some barbed wi...BUT LOOK THE COWS ARE TRYING TO GET BACK OUT THROUGH A NEW HOLE THEY JUST MADE. And now the process starts all over.
I've had to cancel so many plans because of cows. People always think I'm bullshitting them, but nope. Cows.
tl;dr (do-me) Cows
Another funny thread!"(do-me) it we're just gonna destroy them," Lucifer said for the twentieth time in as many years, "they can't be controlled any more. They'll kill us."
"He has a point," Athena piped up from a corner. All the Greeks groaned, even Hades.
"And what is this amazing point he has," Yaweh was rubbing his cleanly shaven face, looking for all like a 30 year old black man. "And button up your pantsuit, we're proffessionals."
Athena wandered to the front podium, self conciously buttoning her suit jacket. Tossing her wavy brown hair over her shoulder, she began to speak. "As Lucifer has pointed out countless times, but by his nature never supported, our very creations are evolving to the point that they may be able to overthrow us in the next century. They're procuring weapons and getting smarter and smarter. Even their evolutionary branches believe in us."
Zues seemed offended. "They started from a single celled organism I placed in an ocean, and now there are billions of variants. Isolate your culprit or we don't take action."
"You all know the culprit and you all know what we have to do about them. Stop stalling and take out the threat before it takes us out. It's to a vote, Zeus?"
Zeus sighed and stood, taking Athena's place at the podium. This left the perfect number of members for a vote, four hundred and ninety nine.
"All in favor of the continued existance of the species Apis, raise your hands." And two hundred forty three hands went up.
"All in favor of the progressive extinction of Apis, raise your hands." And two hundred fifty six hands went up.
"Apis, also known as the common honeybee, will now be removed from the face of our planet Earth by untreatable disease. That concludes this year's meeting," Zues slammed a gable which proceded to shoot fire, and all the dieties stood and left. If the majority wanted to kill the Earth, then they would.








