I believe I have stated this previously on the forums, and certainly many times on Discord, and among friends playing on the server:
The main reason why there is often tension between players, DMs, factions, and whatever demographic we measure on, is that collectively we have never had, nor can we ever have, a Session Zero.
Session Zero is meant to establish expectations, and build trust among everyone involved.
The DMs inform their soon-to-be-players about their world and setting. Expectations towards danger is also explained, such as what might happen when a PC is captured; a PC attacks a guard; or the importance of bringing food and water. Likewise the DM can/should use this session to explain about any home-brew changes, how they generally run the game, and what the expected level range for PCs is going to be. Finally it's an opportunity to inform how the political landscape is; how people of the land generally feel toward outsiders, their neighbours, morals, and attempts to change the status-quo.
Similarly players have the opportunity to talk with each other, and the DM as well, on more personal topics. Some of which usually include: how brutal the setting is going to be (Game of Thrones vs. Power Rangers); are we all playing evil characters?; are we all playing good characters?; are we alright with PC-to-PC conflict within the party, and how do we want to approach that?; are there certain types of role-play or content we want to avoid, or that we definitely want to include?.
In short: Session Zero aims to solve a lot of the issues before they become actual issues, by talking about them, and laying the groundworks for how to resolve them when or if they appear.
All of the rules here on the forums is an attempt at establishing a Session Zero. But despite being quite extensive they only outline a rough overview. And the vast majority of the rules are from the Staff (DM and Admin) perspective as to provide a guideline for what can be expected on the server and within the setting of the server. Every now and then, due to community feedback, some rules may be removed, added, or amended. Largely the rules are a Session Zero flowing from Staff to Players, and not the other way around, with the slight changes being between one very vocal group of Players and Staff. That vocal group of players change depending on topic and over time as the player-base shifts. Three or four years ago several players wanted to bump the server from PG-13 to PG-15, prompting a vote for or against, and it almost won out in favour of PG-15, but not quite. Seven or eight years ago it wouldn't have even made it to a vote, because hardly anyone was interested in such a change.
What we are missing on the server, which we can never have, is a Player-to-Player Session Zero. The player-base isn't static. It changes year-to-year, if not more often than that. Because of this, any agreement we make today between players, on what we want to experience on the server and how we want to experience it, is going to be invalidated the moment a new or returning player joins. It becomes a never-ending process of trying to establish expectations between players, meaning it is never done, and therefore is impossible to establish.
What happens instead is that cliques are formed. Small groups within the server, where we know the preferences and expectations of those within the group, and thus feel comfortable playing with them. A lot of players complain about this, because they feel left out or shunned from certain groups, despite wanting to become part of it. To this there is no solution. As humans we are predisposed to be wary of strangers seeking entry into our tight-knit community. Trust needs to be established first, which is often made more difficult due to prior bad experiences of including someone new. Most often what is required is for someone within the group to vouch for the newcomer — usually through pre-established relations (friends or family).
Guilds and factions themselves are also cliques. However, unlike natural groups formed between players, a guild or faction is formed through aspiration towards a shared goal, story, or interest. A guild or faction is a formalised group within the group. Someone has set aside the time and effort to formalise what the goals and interests of the group are, and created a list of requirements for entry. A natural group is like a group of friends playing basket ball in their spare time after school, while a guild or faction is the basket ball team at school. One is formalised, the other is not.
That is the main issue on the server: Session Zero is impossible for the whole server, and can only reasonably be applied within smaller groups.
A subset of Session Zero is that Team Evil will likely want to oppose Team Good, and vice versa. Whether winning or losing, either side want to put in their best effort. At a table, with a group of friends meeting every week, there are no issues with this. Everyone is present, and get to act or react in due time. But on a persistent world server, such as BG, this is not possible. Effort towards a desirable outcome is determined by availability of players and DMs, which will vary greatly. While our characters might have had time to act, we as players might not, and that creates a temporal disconnect, where the DMs involved have no choice but to push the story/plot forward as not to stall the entire thing. This creates friction, because one group didn't get to do everything they wanted to, despite their characters having the time to do so.
And here's the real kick in the groin:
Because every interested party in a conflict is not seated at the same table at the same time, with everyone else involved readily available, it quickly turns into a scenario of us-vs-them. Rather than a group of friends collaborating on a story once every week, it becomes a race to the finish for two disconnected groups. The us-vs-them is a highly tribal mentality, and one that often carries some unintentional enmity and distrust.
Recommendation:
In a Good versus Evil setting, which also includes Underdark vs Surface to some extent, there is always going to be a disconnect between players on either side of the divide. One side cannot be happy without the other being at least a little disgruntled/dissatisfied. Therefore it is better to have two settings. One where it is Team Good vs DM-controlled Evil, and one where it is Team Evil vs DM-controlled Good. The BG (and by extent NWN2) community doesn't currently have the player-base to support such a change. In the interest of doing the least harm with a change, if a change is to be had at all, it would do less harm to remove player-driven Team Evil . . . Or accept the headaches that come with the impossibility of a Session Zero, which is what the server has done since it was first founded.
Edit: Spelling
