The Importance of Consent -- Where is the Line Drawn?

[Grendunor]

To highlight the point JaG was trying to make while distancing the issue from the charged matters of sexual harassment.

There needs to be an understanding and root of common courtesy between players. Just as one should not attempt to force RP on another person, one should also not attempt to forcibly shut down someone else's RP OOC.

Say for example sally sneak follows around Lord Evil-pants for the day trying to discover their secret plans. Lord Evil pants has chosen to play a high profile character with in a conflicting arena, he does not then have the right to OOCly demand no sneaks follow him around because it makes them uncomfortable. IC actions merit an IC response. First and Foremost we are not our characters

Be Respectful
Players may play a character, but they are not the character. Remember not to take in-character grievances to personal, out-of-character attacks, nor to use out-of-character motivations and agendas to fuel in-character behavior. Even when your characters are bitter enemies, remember to be respectful towards the players and that the goal of your interactions with them should be to have fun.

If you are uncomfortable with someone's RP, you have the right to respectfully back out of the RP. Always remain polite and courteous when doing this. If someone chooses to back away from your RP, respect their decision and let them go.

If you don't like someone, don't get involved with them. There are enough players in the server to go around that you should not be obligated to RP with someone who you don't like, and RPing under a hostile OOC environment only breeds poor IC and OOC behavior, drama, and frustration especially if staff gets involved.

The large majority of players here are adults, and should behave like them. If something your doing makes someone uncomfortable OOC then stop in a manner that most befits the IC situation. If you are made uncomfortable by IC actions that directly relate to an IC role, step away from that role and let someone else take it. Rp is a collaborative effort to tell stories together. You can't win at Rp you can only try your best to ensure those who you're writing with have fun in the collaborative effort.

Tl;DR
Communication is key and consideration is king, remain always within limits.

[yyj]

To highlight the point JaG was trying to make while distancing the issue from the charged matters of sexual harassment.

There needs to be an understanding and root of common courtesy between players. Just as one should not attempt to force RP on another person, one should also not attempt to forcibly shut down someone else's RP OOC.

Say for example sally sneak follows around Lord Evil-pants for the day trying to discover their secret plans. Lord Evil pants has chosen to play a high profile character with in a conflicting arena, he does not then have the right to OOCly demand no sneaks follow him around because it makes them uncomfortable. IC actions merit an IC response. First and Foremost we are not our characters

Be Respectful
Players may play a character, but they are not the character. Remember not to take in-character grievances to personal, out-of-character attacks, nor to use out-of-character motivations and agendas to fuel in-character behavior. Even when your characters are bitter enemies, remember to be respectful towards the players and that the goal of your interactions with them should be to have fun.

If you are uncomfortable with someone's RP, you have the right to respectfully back out of the RP. Always remain polite and courteous when doing this. If someone chooses to back away from your RP, respect their decision and let them go.

If you don't like someone, don't get involved with them. There are enough players in the server to go around that you should not be obligated to RP with someone who you don't like, and RPing under a hostile OOC environment only breeds poor IC and OOC behavior, drama, and frustration especially if staff gets involved.

The large majority of players here are adults, and should behave like them. If something your doing makes someone uncomfortable OOC then stop in a manner that most befits the IC situation. If you are made uncomfortable by IC actions that directly relate to an IC role, step away from that role and let someone else take it. Rp is a collaborative effort to tell stories together. You can't win at Rp you can only try your best to ensure those who you're writing with have fun in the collaborative effort.

Tl;DR
Communication is key and consideration is king, remain always within limits.

Haha so everyone but the Dreadlady can ask others politely to stop doing things that make them uncomfortable?

Your logic is the same one used against someone that is dressed in a "provocative" manner to justify what others do.

[Hoihe]

The large majority of players here are adults, and should behave like them. If something your doing makes someone uncomfortable OOC then stop in a manner that most befits the IC situation. If you are made uncomfortable by IC actions that directly relate to an IC role, step away from that role and let someone else take it. Rp is a collaborative effort to tell stories together. You can't win at Rp you can only try your best to ensure those who you're writing with have fun in the collaborative effort.

Allow me to clarify then -

If one is uncomfortable with how some people ICly and OOCly treat female PCs, one should not play a female PC. Or put more bluntly: "If you don't like how women are treated, stop being a woman"?

[The Whistler]

Let me say that harassment is an all too real phenomenon and that combating it starts and ends with you, the player. Don't be ambiguous, make your preferences known and don't be afraid to throw in a "dude, stop" when things start getting too dark. If harassment persists beyond that, then it is most definitely malicious and not stemming from any sort of misunderstanding. At this point you are well within your rights to make a report to the staff who have a zero tolerance policy for this sort of stuff. That said, if you wear your dislike for anything romance/erp related on your sleeve you might be making yourself a target for certain trolly behaviors.

At the risk of derailing the thread, I'd furthermore like to add that I'd like to see the zero tolerance policy towards harassment extend to baseless accusations of the same. I know out-of-game IM's such as discord and skype are not regulated but the effect of these vicious rumor mills can be catastrophic for often well-meaning players. Don't take ambiguousness as proof of anything and as Grendunor previously said, communicate.

[Grendunor]

Haha so everyone but the Dreadlady can ask others politely to stop doing things that make them uncomfortable?

Your logic is the same one used against someone that is dressed in a "provocative" manner to justify what others do.

The same goes for really anyone playing a faction lead or involved in Intrigue RP. Your comment has missed the mark spectacularly with a knee jerk response that equates shared responsibility and communication to victim blaming.

[yyj]

Haha so everyone but the Dreadlady can ask others politely to stop doing things that make them uncomfortable?

Your logic is the same one used against someone that is dressed in a "provocative" manner to justify what others do.

The same goes for really anyone playing a faction lead or involved in Intrigue RP. Your comment has missed the mark spectacularly with a knee jerk response that equates shared responsibility and communication to victim blaming.

No pal.

If you are uncomfortable with someone's RP, you have the right to respectfully back out of the RP. Always remain polite and courteous when doing this. If someone chooses to back away from your RP, respect their decision and let them go.

If you don't like someone, don't get involved with them. There are enough players in the server to go around that you should not be obligated to RP with someone who you don't like, and RPing under a hostile OOC environment only breeds poor IC and OOC behavior, drama, and frustration especially if staff gets involved.

I don't see where it says that if I play a faction lead or intrigue RP are exempt of this. This is very clear and leaves no room for your misinterpretations.

[zhazz]

Whether someone agrees with a reason to ask for some RP to end, or not, it wholly irrelevant. If someone asks for some RP to stop, then respect that. If that gets someone confused, then politely ask the other person why, but do not get upset if they do not want to answer.

IC before OOC, always; and IRL before IG, always.
If someone asks OOC for RP/actions to stop, then it's because their boundaries have already been passed. Respect that fact, or (pardon my French) get your arse off the server.

[Grendunor]

The large majority of players here are adults, and should behave like them. If something your doing makes someone uncomfortable OOC then stop in a manner that most befits the IC situation. If you are made uncomfortable by IC actions that directly relate to an IC role, step away from that role and let someone else take it. Rp is a collaborative effort to tell stories together. You can't win at Rp you can only try your best to ensure those who you're writing with have fun in the collaborative effort.

Allow me to clarify then -

If one is uncomfortable with how some people ICly and OOCly treat female PCs, one should not play a female PC. Or put more bluntly: "If you don't like how women are treated, stop being a woman"?

So Even having attempted to distance the issue from the charged matter of flirtation it seems this example is the sticking point so i'll address my opinion here.

Not at all, if you play a female PC and someone is hitting on your character and you're uncomfortable with it reject them IC. If they persist IC after the rejection do as you would in real life. A harsher rejection that does not spare feelings or leave any doubts.

More to the point if YOU are made uncomfortable by certain aspects or interactions from an IC encounter the onus is on you to
1) Communicate that discomfort
2) Remove yourself from the situation.

BGTSCC is a PG-13 server, mature themes such as Torture, drug use, sexual content and various other things are outside of the servers rating and a violation of the rules.
A throw away remark made by either a male or female character does not amount to harassment, if someone aggressively pursues your character after you've made it clear you have no interest in Romantic RP (OOCly and ICly) or these themes then report them for it. Understand they are entitled to play within the rules just as much as you are and this table is shared between a broad spectrum of playstyles from the Light RP grinders to the Heavy RP politics.

As I said before, communicate.

[Planehopper]

This thread is off to lockdown-town faster than city a week after a covid superspreader in March 2020.

Sarcasm, hyperbole, misrepresenation of one-another's words, and presumption of intent has turned an important topic into a dumpster fire, and y'all should really think hard about why that is. Instead of assuming the worst in each other's words, maybe go back and reread them, and try to do so from a place of understanding and not confrontation.

But, after a handful of reports on a handful of posts, and a general degradation of the topic in general, this is locked. So reading is all that will be done, unfortunately.

The bottom line is that we are all expected to follow the rules, and no one should be afraid of holding other players to that expectation.

If you have issues or questions with this, send a PM.