Baldur's Gate : The Sword Coast Chronicles : NWN2 Persistent World

My special reserve silos are almost empty. I must move faster and get the money to not have any problems. I cannot raise her in poverty. I can, but that won't be responsible. As much as I hate that, she should be left to Bali's care for a longer time every day. If only I could get the money easily...

Goddess, are you @#$%^&* kidding me?!

I do not care if you reach my mind when I write this, but I am sure that you hear me since I am writing it with loud speech.

What is it with your priestesses? Is that how your usual acolyte should be? This is not how I expected them to be, your true servants. Maybe, as converted woman, I have no right to judge them, but I am disappointed. When I met that naive fool, I had a plan to help her with moral support or material supplies. Now, I question your faith.

Thinking about it, how exactly it works out for followers of yours? My thanks and gratefulness is still yours, but now I think I shouldn't have to much dreams about your vision. With how your believers act, I imagine the dream to be nearly unattainable. Even couple of thousands of years cannot be enough.

From now on, I change my ways. I will give myself to two goals:
1. Raise my daughter to be fine independent woman who can choose her path for herself.
2. Prepare her for future warfare against the enemies of your faith.

As soon as she can speak and walk, when she makes up her mind what is she to become, I will help her to be trained in body and mind. I believe in you, but not in your servants, Dark Maiden. Because I am one of them. Because we are drow.

And drow must not trust anyone.

First ambition - collect 500 thousands of gold pieces.

Current free budget - 2000 gold pieces.

Left - 498 thousands of gold.

These money shall be used to acquire some property in city. I really would like to have a sturdy constant home where I can feel that Fyrwin is safe and protected.
My ambition must be fulfilled.

Rented out stand for a day. Lost five hundred gold.
Now I have ten thousands of gold pieces in my funds.
490 Thousands to go.

A good trade resulted into my fund growing up to fifteen thousands of gold pieces.

Had little quarrel with Bali. Guess over who?

I am sure that despite what my neighbor, servant and landlord in one flesh says, she likes piggyback riding rather than crude, but rather bland maneuver, called 'Flying Star'. Very quick ascent in the air with return to the ground by short stubby fingered hands.
What's so fun in that?
She likes me more. I know it.

I barely have time for writing a journal. Working, scavenging, working, scavenging, working, scavenging...

Dangerous routine eventually changes to simple fine rest at home. Looking at my girl fills me with pride and joy. And at the same time worry about future.

I need to prepare contingencies, just in case. We cannot live here for long. I got only seventy thousands of gold. I need to hurry.

Perhaps I need a helping hand for store?

Month passed since I last tried to run trade in my rented place. Somehow, I have no wish to start again another day of riping coins from lustrous (as much as city in cave can have) crowd.

What worries me is not that my clients in most cases are individuals I would gladly eviscerate under other circumstances, nor it is that taxes are draining much of my income I gain. Returning from expedition for artifacts and relics with grievous wounds is also not concern, no matter how long I should go to safe place where I can use medical attention.

I think of time. I imagine unexpected. Whenever I can, I check up on home, with horror considering dangers she lives in. What if some spawn or brigand broke into house and slaughtered my child? What if her location is known to clerics of Lolth?

These constant questions tear my insides, not letting me go out of Darkwoods for my work. I am afraid to lose her.

She cannot be raised here.

There is one step necessary for her safety. It may take many preparations and precautions, effort and expensive financing. Only one thing stops it from happening - my selfishness. My hands cannot let her go knowingly.

She is my only blood kin that I ever loved and cared about. I am sure that what I feel is different from what normal drow thinks of child. Not a thing to be shaped as legacy of his own, not instrument, not pawn with high potential. Why? I cannot explain how I know I love her. It is just feeling unlike anything experienced in decades.

If it is your doing, Everglowing One, I thank you. This is one of most precious gifts I received from you.

I do not care how much money I earned this month.

I ignore the mutterings my clients send me after they give out their precious coins.

I spit on the amount tax collectors take from me every month.

When I come to my home in gloomy dark district, all my thoughts are about my precious cub.

Today I tried out that weird 'Flying Star' maneuver, secretly from eyes of Bali. The way she laughed and wriggled in my hands was nothing like I ever seen. It seems she really likes that movement...

I wonder if Bali has sweeter side that I do not see. I guess he is good with children.

Three hundred thousands of gold pieces!

That sounded so sweet that I forgot that this is only temporary thing until I find the apartment worthy of my child.

Just a little bit more... One big cushy trade offer that will help me gather needed sum...

Speaking of which, I really should start looking for good place to buy.

It's her fault!

It's her fault!

It's her fault!!!

Everything was almost perfect! Not until that freak entered the city! Curse my hope sparking for mere moment of weakness. Now, whatever she brought attention of, it will cost me.

I will have to renew my plans. If she is not dead yet, she will wish she was when I'll meet her.

Well, let's re arrange my list...

Escape from city: check.

Get the girl without any harm on her skin: check.

Arrive to the 'place' without interplanar bumps or mistakes: check.

Find good village filled with servants of Goddess and leave after prolonged begging and crying the infant: check.

Attempt suicide by returning to Sshamath with burning desire to rip in shreds Lolth's bat guano bags: check.

Make the dreams about skinning alive that assassin and burn his flesh while he is still alive reality: in progress...

This is very tiring.

I think about giving up this trading gig. As much as it brings me profit, is simply loses it's initial charm.

Yes, I can be polite. But many customers can still be jerks.

And this Nawiel's whole situation only brings more stress. I cannot hold my child in hands without her face changing in my mind to that of confused youth addled by madness.

Hopefully, this divination will be done well...

And this pseudodragon is actually useful. I don't need to pay for any kind of scrying to keep tabs on Nawiel. As much as not evil the hosts of mine are, they are bandits when it comes to taking money for something. I think I spaced out when I heard the price of honey jar from one of tribe members.

Drow are drow after all...

I cannot describe how wrong all went. My mistakes never were so severe.

The beatings are quite usual. Expecting some tortures in meantime. Not sure they will be asking anything, though.

I'd really like to get this scrap of paper out of cell in case I will survive. It is doubtful there will be wish to write about that later.

Probably letting myself to be caught was unneeded gamble, but at least it will give opportunity. There was something that bothered me in air. I do not know if it was obvious before, but somehow, it is no longer the Sshamath I knew. I need to know how far it went and if it is too late.

It all depends on my tongue and clear mind. Hopefully, later visits of guards won't take that away from me.