Baldur's Gate : The Sword Coast Chronicles : NWN2 Persistent World

Posted: **Sun Jul 26, 2020 8:11 am**

"Now, the Victim sits down before the Cheater, and the Cheater presents the 3 shells. He puts the ball under one of the shells. But even the ball itself is deceptive. The ball looks like it's solid, made of wood. It isn't. It's made of rubber. It collapses under the weight of the shell. What this means is that by sliding the shell forward...the ball slides out from under it. Allowing the cheater to palm the ball."

"Sleight of Hand."

"Sleight of Hand. Very good. The Cheater can control the outcome of the game however he likes. However, the Victim has to be lured in with a false sense of security. So the Cheater in fact cheats several times....but on the Victim's behalf. Allowing the Victim to win a few times. To build his confidence."

"To give him false bravado."

"Yes. The Victim now believes he can win this game...and make even MORE money. So he increases his wager. Then he wins a game. Loses a game. Wins a game. Loses a game. But he's still winning about half the time, so he's confident. Using the law of averages, the mathematics involved, the player is gradually losing money over time. But slowly. Not all at once. It's the same way that Gambling Dens always have the "House Advantage." The games are 'tilted' just enough to provide just enough favor to the House to allow them to always profit in gradual, small amounts over long hours of extended play. Making minimal wins, but on several transactions each second. With each hand of blackjack, or turn of a roulette table. Minimal gain...but maximized over time. Which is why most of them are open all hours of the day. To maximize profit."

"Sin never Sleeps."

"Aye, well, neither does the City of Sin. Good ol' Luskan. My home-away-from-home."

"Luskan. You'll never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy."

"Hey, isn't that from---"

"SHH!! Back to explaining!"

"Err, right....so...."

"The Victim is now feeling pretty confident. He's only SLIGHTLY down, money-wise. So he decides to start wagering a bigger pile. Hoping to maximize his profit over the next few games. So, of course....he loses them all. All of his money. Gone. Thing is, he HAD been winning. So he can't blame the Cheater. Not really. After all, he had been winning for quite a while. So as far as the Victim is concerned...it's his own fault."

"Deception. Using the Victim's own guilt to torture themselves into believing they were the ones solely at fault. A tactic used by the Baatezu to torture people.

"The very definition of psychological Hell. Hating yourself because you believe something is entirely your fault. Not realizing that you have been manipulated this entire time..."

"Diabolical."

"As I said before: It is Devils who learn from Us. Not the other way around..."

Posted: **Sun Jul 26, 2020 5:09 pm**

"So my question then: What happens when the Victim realizes that he's been Cheated?"

"That's the job of the Accomplice, the reason he's called "the Smoother" is because it's his job to "Smooth" things over with the Victim. Either to keep him from calling the guards...or if he DOES call the guards to make sure that his eye-witness testimony is in favor of the Cheater."

]"In other words...he Bears False Witness."

"In the most literal sense, yes. He lies. If needed. But usually he just works to smooth things over by showing false sympathy for the Victim. 'Hey, man, take a few copper coins so you can get an inn for tonight. It's rough luck, man. It happens to the best of us..."

"And the victim doesn't even realize that the "Smoother" is giving him back the very money he helped con him out of?"

"Precisely."

"So what happens if the Victim goes and gets the guard? Reports the alleged cheating?"

"A couple of possible things. See, part of the Smoother's job is to always know which guards are on the take."

"On the take?"

"Being bribed. They know which guards the gang have been able to bribe. Turn to their favor. The ones they can slip a few coins every now and again to look the other way."

"You mean the Corrupt Officials."

"Exactly. The thing about officers of the law in any culture, no matter where you're from: They LOVE being paid to NOT DO THEIR JOB."

"Once again, it comes down to Greed."

"Not always. You see, sometimes...the Pasha orders the men to take the bribes."

"The Pasha?"

"The Landowner. The one who owns the land the Bazaar is on. Who rents out the "booth space" to the vendors. Who rent a plot of land to sell their wares for the day. Usually by being taxed a percentage of their sales by the Pasha. The thing is: The Pasha knows EVERYBODY who comes on his land with some frequency. Too many potential assassins. Pashas are very wealthy men. They make many enemies. As all wealthy men do."

"But that's also why the Pasha must be the judge and jury. And why his punishments must be harsh. He must set an example for those who would potentially harm him, his business, or the patrons of his Bazaar. It is why the hands of Thieves are cut off. Permanent reminders that stealing is zero tolerance."

"So he punishes thieves, yet steals from the people?"

"Oh, precisely. You see, the Pasha has thieves in the Bazaar who are on his payroll. They steal on his behalf. The things they steal, they fence to the Pasha for coin."

"Fence?

"A buyer for stolen Goods. A Fence's job is to not ask any questions about the items he buys. But by not asking questions...he also has to pay less coin."

"An Extortionist. Call it what it is."

"Very much so."

Posted: **Tue Jul 28, 2020 9:16 am**

"So essentially the Pasha pays men to steal from his own Bazaar, and also orders the guards to look the other way as long as the thieves are paying their "Taxes"

"Yes. As long as the Pasha is being paid his share of the pie he doesn't care what goes on in his Bazaar. Long as he's being paid."

"Extortion. Bribery. Theft. So tell me, Salim el-Faddir...why is it then that you equate this 3-shell Game with the activities of the Gods?"

"I can't believe you can't see the similarities. Allow me then to put it in perspective. Now then, Angel....re-describe the 3-shell game that I have explained to you. But put it in simple terms."

"Fine. The Cheater and the Accomplice are luring Victims in to be able to steal their coin through the use of a con. Using Corrupt Officials, who are often under the employ of the Pasha, who also employs thieves to steal from the guests at his Bazaar in order to acquire their goods."

"Very good. Now...take the exact same game. The exact same rules. The exact same scenarios...and change the names."

"Pardon?"

"Change the Victim to "Potential Worshipper." Change "Accomplice" to "Paladin." Or "Blackguard", if the God is a naughty boy. Change "Corrupt Official" to "Priest." Or any member of the Clergy, really. And then change the Pasha..."

"Into a God."

"Precisely. The God turns a blind eye to the Priests and Blackguards who use their power to con and control people. So long as the God gets his cut. The Coin. The most prized Coin among God-kind."

"Souls."

"Exactly. The Gods turn a blind eye to the actions of their followers, their "employees" so long as the souls keep pouring in. Long as the Gods keep profitting...they keep ignoring. But the moment you're on their turf, the moment you wrong them or their employees, or try to cut in on their profits..."

"Off with your head."

"You're getting it. That's the thing about Devils, dear. Gods and Devils procure Souls the exact same way. Subtle Threats. Empty promises. All the while extorting you for the only thing in the multiverse that is ever truly yours. Your own soul. And, more importantly...your own WILL. Because a Soul is worthless...unless it is freely given. Thing is: As long as the soul is freely given it doesn't matter the terms by which it is acquired. Bribery. Trickery. Extortion..."

"Right you are. More souls are in Hell because of Love, and for selfless reasons than you would think."

"The Road to Hell is Paved with Good Intentions, after all."

Posted: **Tue Jul 28, 2020 8:32 pm**

"So now that you've heard my explanation, oh Exalted One, would you finally grant me the pleasure of your NAME...since you seem, after all, to know so much about me. Or so you claim."

"My name is of no importance to you, Mortal. Know only that I am a Servant of Her Most Luminous."

Pistis Sophia."

"I see. So you would have me take a Vow of Poverty then?"

"You are the Hobo King, after all. Why not truly embrace your title? You have the power to bend time, space, energy...what need have you for mortal possessions?"

"You're joking, right?"

"You're the Comedian. Not me."

"I am a monster. An Abomination of the Far Realm. And you would deign to ask ME to take a Sacred Vow? I have to say. You've proved a point to me just now..."

"What? That Angels are merciful and graceful enough to grant the chance of Salvation to anyone? Even a degenerate such as you?"

"No. I didn't think it was possible now for an Angel to be STONED."

"We can willingly lower our immunity to poisons, to allow ourselves to become inebriated if we wish. And we do. Sometimes. Because take it from me, sugar, after some days even us Angels need a joint and a stiff drink. Especially after some days watching degenerates like YOU."

"Wait, Angels drink too? Surprise, surprise."

"You've obviously never met Saint Sollars."

"Who?"

"Look for the big gold Castle with fountains of Beer. And follow the smell of cheap Cigar smoke. You can't miss him. And you'll know him when you hear him speak....Hombre."

"Sounds like a fun guy."

"He's a beer-chugging, steer-riding, spur-wearing lunatic. Right up your alley. Tell you what, Salim...make you a deal. You like making deals with Outsiders. Don't you, Thaumaturge?"

"Oh, boy. Here we go. What you got for me?"

"A Holy Quest."

"What am I doing? Slaying a Dragon? Rescuing a Princess? Throwing jewelry into a volcano?"

"Well, I was going to send you on a quest for a Magic Cup, but, we've already got our best men on it."

"Great. So what the hell do you want with me?"

"You're going to go have a drink in a bar. A special bar. But here's the caveat. NO TELEPORTING. You must WALK the path to the Castle of Saint Sollars. And drink at the tavern within. That is all. And on your journey there...I hope you find enlightenment."

"A leisurely stroll through Heaven to get to a bar? Sure. What's the worst that could happen?"

"Famous Last Words."

"Maybe. But they're also usually uttered just before something really fun and crazy happens. It's not so much tempting Fate as it is wriggling your eyebrows at Miss Fortune. And that capricious bitch takes EVERYONE to bed at some point in their lives. And usually leaves more than a few marks..."

" FIne!! I accept your Quest. But only if I get to name my Reward!"

"I will give you the only thing that I have truly have. As you see me, naked before you. I have nothing to give you. And before you think otherwise, mortal, know that I have also taken a vow of Chastity."

"Damn."

"I know, right?"

"Then if you've nothing to give me, what incentive have I for this quest?"

"Salim.I will give you all that I OWN. And the only thing someone who has taken a Vow of Poverty ever truly owns..."

"...is their Good Name. OH, you clever bitch...."

"Heh. So the Mindlfayer-blood DOES have a brain himself. Neat. Glad to see you use it finally. I'll see you at the Castle, handsome..."

"Heh..."

"It's a Date."

"It's a Date..."

Posted: **Sat Aug 08, 2020 9:01 am**

So I began to do what the Angel had charged me: I began to climb the literal Stairway to Heaven.

The interesting thing: There's both a Stairway to Heaven, and a Highway to Hell. The Highway to Hell...has infinitely more traffic jams. And is also usually accompanied by construction and several pile-ups. Also, the wagons are on FIRE.

But this walk was peaceful. Serene even. I walked a path through a Forest which bore trees of Golden Fruit. I had read about these trees, in my travels. They are the trees of Utopia.

The fruit of these fabled trees was said to be able to cure any illness. It was also said that they took on the flavor of the food that the consumer desired the most. So, naturally, I helped myself to a few. Might make for a HEAVENLY apple pie.

It reminds me of the story of Lamashtu.

Lamashtu, who is now considered the Mother of all Monsters, was once a human woman.

To be specific: She was the FIRST human woman.

She was created by the Gods as a "Gift" for the first Man. So that he would not be lonely. But when she would not submit to him...he tried to take her by force. She clawed his face, and cursed his name. She was cast from Paradise, and cursed to walk alone.

She was later seduced by the Demon Lord Pazuzu who gave her a gift of a Golden Apple. But the fruit was tainted by the Abyss. When Lamasthu ate the poison apple she became twisted by it. Her physical form became a dark reflection of the bitterness and hatred held within.

Lamasthu was the first victim of the cruelty of Man. And She would spend the rest of eternity devouring his children in retaliation for the violation he visited upon her.

How different would her life be, I wonder, if not for man's cruelty and lust?

How different would ALL of our lives be, I question, if mankind could learn to stop being so cruel to each other?

Posted: **Mon Aug 10, 2020 8:25 pm**

After helping myself to a few of the delicious Golden Apples I continued my way on the path I was given. The Angel was, thankfully, nice enough to give me a map. Angels, it would seem, loved to provide guidance to we mortals. A map with a literal GO HERE!! written on it was at least CLEAR guidance...unlike the kind they usually provide.

But that's the rules. Angels can guide. They can influence. But they can NOT directly interfere. And they can't just TELL YOU what they need you to know, you have to discover it on your own. Otherwise it doesn't mean anything.

Fortunately, for me, this Angel was far more direct.

I passed such wonders and splendors. Rivers of Holy Water that flowed eternally. I saw the soul remnants of the petitioners of the plane, which took on the shapes of motes of light. After a while these motes would evolve, becoming Lantern Archons, before they would begin their "ascension" over the next several lifetimes-worth of absorbing the ambient energy of the Plane, which would transform them over time into beings far less human and far more Divine.

There were entire fields of children, playing eternal games of tag and hide-and-go-seek with the other children. I was awe-struck at the sight. And also simultaneously saddened. Here they were, these children, so happy. So carefree. It was almost enough to make you forget...that these children were all dead. It certainly didn't seem to occur to them, at least.

As I passed the field I was beset upon by a creature most strange. A tall, muscular man...with the head of a Lion. A Guardinal. The militant guardians and sentries of Heaven. Ones who would not take kindly to a creature such as me who, clearly, did not belong here.

The creature, of course, noticed my presence...it was almost as if it could smell the Chaos that lingered upon me. Because he could. In a flash of light he teleported, appearing before me upon my path. Glowering at me with a judgmental sneer upon his countenance. All fang and fury.

Who are Ye who defile this place with your foul stench!? Speak, Mortal, and know that you address a Lion of Talisid!"

"I am Salim. A Planeswalker, and Sojourner, who has been given righteous charge upon high to seek the Castle of Saint Sollars. Begone from my path, Guardinal, and know I am no threat to you or yours."

"Your presence here is threat enough, Far-Spawn. I can SMELL the stench of the Far Realm upon you. You REEK of it's corruption. Give me one reason, ALIEN, that I should not rend your flesh from your bones in the name of all that is Righteous and Just?"

"Guardinals in a nutshell. Rip you apart in the name of God and Country. Well. God and Plane of Existence, rather..."

"You mock me, Monster!?"

"I'm a comedian. I mock EVERYTHING at some point or another."

"What is a "Comedian?"

"What happens when you want to try and be a Bard but have no actual talent..."

"No, Salim. That's called a Bass Player. You're just an Assh-le."

"......"

Posted: **Mon Aug 10, 2020 10:15 pm**

"....Another smart-ass Angel?"

"Guardinal. Not an Angel. And It happens, from time to time. 'The Woman' has already informed me of your...passing through."

"So what's with all the threats?"

"For a Comedian, you really can't take a joke sometimes can you?"

"I'm just not used to..."

"To Celestials having a sense of humor? I know. The Woman informed me."

"And what is your name, friend?"

"Now, now. That would be telling. You know as well as I do what happens when a Thaumaturge knows a creature's name such as I. Last thing I need is to be randomly summoned to one of your Sharessian ORGIES because someone has a cat fetish and wants to take it a step further."

""Fair enough. Then what should I call you?"

"If you MUST deign to call me by a name I suppose "Leo" will do just fine."

"Leo sounds just so..plain. How about...Leonard?"

"Very well. Leonard it is."

""Alright, Leonard. And why have you come to accost me upon my journey?"

"To be your Guide, of course."

""I didn't imagine that one needed a guide through Heaven."

"Aye, well, ever since Virgil figured out he could make a decent living being a Tour Guide I figure 'why not? Then again, it's not really a "Living" If your dead, but.."

"Virgil?"

"Old friend. Let's just say he's been through Hell..and leave it thusly as such."

"Right..."

Posted: **Mon Aug 17, 2020 4:46 pm**

I guess the first question for you, Thaumaturge, is the most obvious one: "Why are you here?"

"Why are any of us here? Are we the result of some cosmic accident? Are we some deranged God's pawns in a twisted game for His own sick amusement?"

"No, numb-nuts. I mean why are YOU HERE. In Celestia!? Of all the places you could have picked to take a vacation...why pick here?"

"Because I thought I might enjoy the white sandy beaches. The Holy Waterfalls. The view IS rather nice..."

"Guardinal, Salim. Remember. You cannot lie to us."

" I keep forgetting"

"I've noticed."

"You..know of the creatures of which I am spawned, yes? That I am a sort of..."Mutt." A mixed sampler platter, if you will, of numerous creatures of the Far Realm."

"The Woman has given me SOME detail of your unique heritage, yes."

"Indeed. Malaugrym. Beholder. Illithid. Uvuudaum. Phaerimm. Sharn....and those are only the ones I KNOW ABOUT."

"Horrifying."

"You've no idea."

"How is it then, Salim, that your heritage allows you to be a combination of so many different creatures?"

"The Malaugrym."

"Explain."

"Malaugrym are perfect shapeshifters. Able to mimic...anything...with perfection. The only tell-tale is that their eyes flash when they do so. It's a true Shapechange. They are even able to mimic the creature's Supernatural and Magical abilities."

"Amazing."

"Indeed. What this is means...is that I can do so as well. As long as I possess a Sample."

"A Sample? Go on."

"The part of me that is Illithid grants me vast Psionic powers. Incredible powers of Divination. One of these abilities that I possess allows me to "Analyze" the things that I touch. I can see everything. It's history. Where it's been. If it's killed someone. If it was a gift. Who has owned it. It's a psychic ability that is known as "Psychometry." Or "Object Reading"...if you're a novice."

"Fascinating.."

"It goes a step further. Whenever I touch a living creature...I see all of the things that MAKE THEM."

"What do you mean...the things that "Make them?"

"I can see...their "Building Blocks." The Malaugrym that spoke to me, the Emissary in my dreams, he referred to them as:

CELLS.

"We are made of these. All of us. MILLIONS of them. There are just as many cells in our bodies as there are stars in the night sky. Each of us, every one of us, is a self-contained Solar System. Inside of a body. We are each our own Universe. My powers of Divination allowed me to gaze into the Far Realm. Gaze far off into the night sky until I saw the edge of our Reality. I gained perspective WITHOUT...and then I turned my perspective WITHIN. I began to study my own cells.

"And I learned THINGS...So many FASCINATING things..."

"Please...tell me you didn't..."

"Indeed I did. What does any being with God-like power do?"

"..He plays God."

"You changed your body...modified your 'cells'...in order to grant yourself more power!!"

"Ding Ding!! We have a winner, folks!"

"Salim...what have you done!? Do you not realize the repercussions of this!? The harm you could have done to yourself!?"

"I do now, Leonard..."

"...I do now."

"Salim...what are you BECOMING!?"

"I don't know, Leonard. All I know, the ONLY thing I know...."

"Is that it is not HUMAN!!"

Posted: **Tue Aug 18, 2020 10:46 pm**

"But that does not answer my question Salim. Why are you here? In this place?"

"Because...of the effect that it has on humans."

"Yes. Our light gives them calm. A feeling of serenity. A feeling of peace."

"You're forgetting the most...basic thing about it."

"Which is?"

"It makes it...so that I am not HUNGRY."

"Yes. But why is that so important to you, Salim?"

"My heritage. It comes with it great power...but also a terrible curse."

"Go on."

"When I discovered my power to analyze cells...the power to learn the make-up of things by touching them...I tried to Alter myself."

"You tried to remove your bloodline. And you failed.."

"Yes. I made it...more powerful. On accident. In attempting to exorcise the parts of me that I did not want...I only mutated them. And made them even more powerful. I inherited great power from the beings that are my ancestors. But I also inherited their terrible HUNGER..."

"Oh no. Please...please tell me you don't..."

"Eat brains? Afraid so, champ...and not by choice. I have to. In order to maintain my sanity."

"Explain, please..."

"Malaugrym...degrade over time. Their minds fail. They lose their memories. Lose their wits. They begin to experience delirium. Dissociation. Mental fugue states. Split personalities. All that shapeshifting...their minds and their bodies are always changing. And over time, they break down."

"And you inherited that degradation.."

"Correct."

"But the part of you that is Illithid..."

"Yes. Allows me the power to consume the minds of others...in order to repair my own. The same way the Illithid do. To repair the damage that occurs to their brains over time from the repeated use of their psionic abilities. They eat the gray matter...and drink the spinal fluid. To repair their own brains."

"And doing this...it stops the degradation?"

"No. But it does slow it down. For a time. But then, of course...I only get HUNGRY again.."

"..And in the Light of Mercuria, you do not feel hunger. Clever, Thaumaturge. Clever indeed..."

"A temporary solution, at best. But a temporary solution is better than none at all."

"You know as well as I, Salim...you cannot STAY. Not without..."

"I'm aware, Guardinal. Know that my sojourn here is a temporary one. I've no intention of remaining for long."

"Why not? You COULD be welcome here. If you chose to be."

"Let's just say Celestials cramp my style."

"You mean because we are Righteous? Pure of Heart? And so amazingly HUMBLE. RIght?"

"No, Leonard. It's because you Celestials PISS ME OFF..."

Posted: **Wed Aug 19, 2020 7:21 am**

"Why, Salim? Why do you hold such animosity to us creatures of Heaven?"

"Because you watch...when you should act!"

"Salim...there are RULES."

"F-ck your rules! Your RULES are the reasons we mortals suffer! Your RULES are the reasons we mortals have to put up with Demons and Devils and the like! Whispering into our minds, poisoning our thoughts! You sit back on your clouds and you WATCH. And you JUDGE. But you very rarely ever actually HELP!"

"Salim, the Gods themselves have decreed: No direct involvement with mortals. We CAN'T."

"Of course you can't. Because then you would be able to directly influence mortals to the path of Good. You would remove the power of choice, and as we all know...a soul that does not CHOOSE it's fate is one that isn't useful!! Free will and all that bloody nonsense!"

"Correct."

"Thing is...Asmodeus can. Because he OUTSMARTED you all. Because he wrote the Pact Primeval, and because your Gods were too arrogant and stupid to READ THE FINE PRINT...Devils most certainly can. Devils can most DEFINITELY directly interfere because your Gods are too IDIOTIC to READ A CONTRACT!!"

"I warn you now, Salim, do NOT speak that Traitor's name in the midst of this Hallowed Place!! We here are FREE of his Evil!"

"BUT WE MORTALS ARE NOT!!!!!"

"Salim..."

"Where were you all, huh!? Where were YOU all when the Devils of Dragonspear were burning, raping, and pillaging our countryside!? Where were YOU when they MURDERED countless people? Where were YOU when the Demons of Orcus animated nearly every corpse in the Graveyard and attacked the refugees? Those very SAME Refugees who were PRAYING TO YOU!! NOT TO US! NOT TO THE FIST!! TO YOU!!!"

"Watching. And....just as pissed off as you are now. Pissed off...that we COULD NOT help."

"Wha--?"

"Do you think we don't HATE IT!? Do you think we don't DESPISE IT!? Do you think it does not BURN ME within the fires of my Belly that I cannot leap down from atop this mountain onto the head of some Pit Fiend and rend his flesh from his cursed bones!? I wish I could!! You've no idea how much I WISH I COULD!"

"....."

"But we can't!! We can't because the moment we step in, the moment that we fight the mortal's battles for them....is the moment they lose the power to fend for THEMSELVES. And you know as well as I do what happens to a creature who cannot defend itself!! It DIES!!!"

"So you allow us to suffer...so that we gain the power to endure more suffering!? Good gods, you creatures are SADISTIC!!!"

"Salim...oh Salim...I keep forgetting...you never really had parents growing up, did you?"

"No...No I did not. But what's your point!?"

"Look at it like....a Mother Wolf, and her pup."

"In what regards?"

"Mother Wolves, sometimes, must intentionally watch their pups starve. The Mother Wolf must sit back and watch as her baby, the one thing in the world she loves more than anything else, suffers. But she does not watch them suffer because she wants them to suffer, no....

"..they do it because the Wolf Pup MUST learn to feed themselves. Because the Mother Wolf knows that every Hunt could be her last. And She knows that when She is gone...her child must be able to survive. On their own."

"And if the Wolf Pup cannot survive on their own...if they are too lame to walk. Or too weak to Run. The Wolf Mother makes the hardest decision that she ever has to make. The choice...whether or not to kill her own Pup."

"If the child cannot survive on their own...the mother wolf will take the child's neck within her jaws while the pup is sleeping. And she will...end their life. Not because she wants to. But because she has to. Because a wolf pup who cannot defend itself in the wild...is a wolf pup doomed to die a slow, painful death. It is a Mother's Love that allows her to endure the greatest pain that any Mother can endure...watching her own child go hungry. Because she MUST."

"I...never thought of it that way..."

"Because you never had a mother's love. At least...not a Mother's Love that you knew. But your mother, Salim, when she began to undergo the Ceremorphosis that changed her, abandoned you on the steps of a Sharessian Festhall."

"She gave me to a (germbag)!"

"...rather than see you harmed. Yes. She gave you up. She gave you away. Rather than allow you to be harmed by her, and the THING that she was becoming. That's [i}LOVE Salim. Doing the hard thing because it's best for your CHILDREN. Not what is best for YOU. But you've never been that way Salim, oh no. Because you are too SELFISH!"

"...."

Posted: **Thu Aug 20, 2020 5:50 am**

"I am Selfish, Leonard. I know this, and admit this fully. Because no one but myself has ever looked out for me. Until now. Jalib, Edelgarde, and the House of Spades have seen fit to taking this "Mutt" into their home...for whatever reason."

"Are you even properly paper trained?"

"This coming from the guy who looks like he scratches the furniture and leaves behind hairballs?"

"I do NOT leave behind Hairballs!!"

"I'm sure."

"Yes, Salim. Jalib and Edelgarde have taken you in. As you said: For whatever reason. But you have a HOME now, Salim. Something you've never had before...Hobo King."

"Aye. I suppose I can't really use that title anymore now, can I?"

"Every King needs a Castle, do they not?"

"Even if it's a castle made of a Box?"

"To some in the world a Box is as a Mansion. To some people in the world a scrap of bread comparable to a King's feast. It's all about perspective. Like those Golden Fruits you helped yourself to earlier..."

"I imagine they'll make a Heavenly apple pie..."

"And the fact they also magically stave off hunger for a long period of time is completely irrelevant. No?"

"As I said. It's going to be a very GOOD Apple Pie. One that should keep me full for...a while. Hopefully."

"Yes. Anything to quell your hunger. What every Man seeks, in the end. To quell their appetites. Whether for food, or for sex, or for Coin or for Conquest...all people hunger for something. Your appetite is merely far more...unconventional...than most."

"Brains are hardly a delicasy. Well. Depends on where you go, I guess?"

"Take it from me, you'd be AMAZED what passes for a "Delicasy" in some parts of the Planes. Some of them quite revolting."

"The depravity of people is just as bad, Leonard. Every Devil in Hell quivers at the depravity of some of the people that walk the world."

"I am painfully aware. You saw the children in the fields earlier, playing? I am their Guardian. Because no one looked after them while they were alive...I have taken it upon myself to look after them in Death."

"Who would harm children? Especially harm them HERE?"

"These children...some were killed by their own parents. One of them drowned by a mother who didn't know how to care for her. One of them abandoned in the Desert by a Father who would rather drink and fornicate than raise the child he sired. One of them sold into sexual slavery to a pedophile, and then murdered when they got too old for their tastes. I'm fully aware of the evils of mortals, Salim. I watch them every day. I see the results of their actions. The innocent lives destroyed in their wake."

"And do nothing. Because your Gods keep you on a leash. Appropriate, it would seem, for a giant CAT."

"Careful, Thaumaturge. This KITTY has CLAWS."

Posted: **Sat Aug 22, 2020 8:32 am**

"Of course. Your first inclination: use violence the moment someone questions your beliefs. The typical actions of a FANATIC.

"If one must be Fanatical over anything, Thaumaturge...it should be over doing what is righteous and good."

"The issue, Leonard, is that Good and Evil are NOT absolutes. They are perspectives."

"Are the mountains atop Cronia not an Absolute? Are not the Deepest Pits of Hell the Absolute of Evil made real?"

"Indeed. The highest Mountain...and the lowest pit. And for us Humans, stuck in the middle...they are both the farthest things away from us. Both literal and figurative."

"Explain your reasoning."

"I always do."

"Most humans spend their lives toiling from day to day just to survive. The thief who steals the bread because he is hungry is committing a crime. And he's hurting someone...the person he's stealing from. By taking their profits. No theft, however small, is a victimless crime."

"In that we agree, at least."

But can you blame the thief who must steal to eat?"

"Could he not ask for bread if he is hungry?"

"He likely already has. You think that wasn't the first thing on his mind? Ask for food instead of steal it? He's likely already been denied. Or ignored. People always ignore the poor. The downtrodden. Because to acknowledge them is to acknowledge the failings of their own society. And by acknowledging that they are there....and NOT giving them aid...you are, whether you wish it or not, perpetrating the system that makes them impoverished in the first place."

"Precisely. But that is why Apathy is a sin punished by the Gods. To have no side, to be neutral in the face of oppression...is to take the side of the oppressor. Because that's what Evil does. It preys upon your indifference. And thrives upon your Indecision. Every instance of a Good Person doing nothing in the face of evil or oppression...is a win for Evil. This why in this war of Good vs. Evil....Evil is winning. And it's not even CLOSE at this point."

"You admit then that you are on the losing side?"

"We've not lost. Not until our dying breath."

"Words of a Fanatic."

"Words of someone with a cause worth dying for."

Posted: **Mon Aug 24, 2020 10:05 am**

"What cause? MORTALS!? Oh you poor, sad, naive creature. So blinded are you by the Holy Light that you cannot see how utterly full of HOLY SH-T you are!!"

"...."

"Mortals are a waste. Not worth worrying over. Not worth caring for, or dying for. Not worth sacrificing for or yearning for. Not worth anything save for one: Using for what you need them for...and then casting them aside when you do not. Is that not the way of Gods, Demons, and Devils alike!? Is it NOT!?"

"Are you so disillusioned with people that you would abandon them? Have Ye Lost all Faith, O Man?"

"They've long since abandoned me. I'm a freak, remember? And, frankly, quite the assh-le."

"By intention. You don't want anyone getting too close. You don't want your hunger to take over and..."

"Don't. Finish. That sentence."

"Oh, Salim. You can't fool me, remember? You cannot lie to me. I can sense your thoughts. I can see your sins and the weight they bare upon your soul the way that you can see the stars in the sky. I know what burdens you, Oh Man. And know that burden MAY be lifted. If one merely learns how to set it down."

"Do not Prosthelytize to ME, creature!!"

"You stand before A Lion of Heaven and expect anything less? You are in a place where all who walk here have already passed their judgment. But ye, mortal, have yet to be judged. But how can ye not seek atonement, after seeing all of the glories of the Paradise that lay before you? How can you not yearn for this place after experiencing it's calm serenity? It's peace, and it's tranquility..."

"Because it's Boring!! Where are the Orgies!? The drunken debauchery!? Where's the Camel hopped up on Dreamleaf that sticks it's head into a barrel of wine!?"

"Wait, what!?"

"Long story. But if you're ever on the Prime, come visit the House of Spades. Because, man, I host some ragers..."

"You're inviting a Leonal, a creature of the purest of Heavens, to a party of drinking, debauchery, and rampant insanity?"

"Yes. Yes I am."

"...Wouldn't miss it for anything."

"Wait. WHAT!?"

"On one condition, of course."

"Oh, here it comes."

"You DO like making deals with Outsiders, don't you....Thaumaturge."

"Oooooh, boy. Here we go..."

"I will attend one of your parties. And engage in all of your festivities. To a degree. No procreation. But I will drink, dance, and make great merriment at one of your..ahem..."Ragers."

"But...."

"...but you must take my job for one day. One day. All I ask."

"Wait. And what is your job, exactly?"

"Why...I watch the children. Of course."

"Wait. You want me. The bloody Archmage of ANARCHY. To babysit CHILDREN! No. No way. Uh-uh. I don't care if it DOES mean I get to watch a Leonal snort dreamleaf off a courtesan's chest!!"

"Oh well. Your loss, I guess. Tell me, Salim...what does one have to do to be allowed entry into the House of Spades?"

"Well, first they have to get invited. Then they have to ---- oh, you cheeky sunnuvabitch."

"They have to sign their NAME. To the Guest LIst.

"Oh you cheeky, cheeky kitty. You know what...FINE! One day it is, then?"

"One. Day."

Posted: **Mon Aug 24, 2020 12:02 pm**

"Hi, Kids! I'm Salim! It's a pleasure to---"

AHHHHHHH!!!"

"Why are you fleeing?"

"Oh, did I fail to mention? All children here, in these fields, much like many of the Celestial petitioners here....are all blessed with TRUE SIGHT."

"Oh bugger."

"Indeed, Thaumaturge. It means that they see you as I see you. And you cannot hide your true form from them."

"Great. So they see me..."

"Yes."

"As a Monster."

"Well. That's just Bloody FANTASTIC!!

"Indeed. Your shapeshifting, your illusions...all useless here. And of course they also discern lies, same as I do. So no trickery. No deceit."

"So you expect a literal MONSTER like me...."

"Indeed. To win them over...with your personality."

"Oh Good Gods..".

"Indeed. So good luck....

...ASSH-LE..."

Posted: **Fri Aug 28, 2020 10:25 am**

"This is impossible, Leonard! You realize that the moment that....THIS...walks up to anybody they're going to flee in terror?"

"I do. So however are you going to win them over, abomination? You cannot hide your true visage here. You cannot hide the monster that lurks beneath that handsome exterior. No, Planeswalker. Your visage is plain for all to see in this place."

"Then I give up. The pact is void."

"Giving up already? So soon? They're children, Salim. Not monsters. And you don't even have to vaporize them. You just have to befriend them."

"I'm a monstrosity!? How do you expect me to do that!?"

"By showing them you aren't a monster."

"But...I AM a monster.."

"No, Salim. You are an ALIEN. You are not a monster. You are merely...strange to them."

"Strange!? STRANGE!? THEY FLEE IN HORROR!?"

]"So why is it then they don't hide from me? I'm a walking half-man, half lion. And yet they seem to like me just fine?"

"You're a CELESTIAL!"

"Yes. But in the grand scheme of things...are you really any more or less monstrous than me?"

"I have tentacles!! I eat BRAINS!!"

"And you think that makes you a monster, does it?"

"Does it not!?"

"So Salim? When's the last time you just flat out murdered somebody?"

"Never..."

"Exactly. Sure, you've killed plenty of people. Bandits. Murderers. Thieves. And always in self-defense. But never once, ONCE, have you just killed somebody because you felt like it. Or because there was something to gain. When's the last time you hunted for food? No. You eat the brains only of those men who have tried to kill you. Or prisoners that were already condemned to death. Sentenced to die anyway."

"Is the CELESTIAL approving of me eating brains!?"

"As long as they are the brains of bad people, Salim. Because sometimes the only true cure for bad people....is to remove them from the world."

"That's very...erm...uncharacteristic of a Celestial.."

"Which is precisely why the Woman wanted you to meet me. Because I am not like most Celestials, Thaumaturge."

"In what way?"

"Let's just say I'm a little more....Anarchistic..than most other Celestials. I am like you, Thaumaturge."

"...a tentacle-faced freak? Could have fooled me. And I have True Sight as well, so, good luck doing that."

"No, human. Unlike most celestials we Leonals aren't as, shall we say, "stuck-up" as the others. We're Anarchs, Thaumaturge. Just like you. We believe in doing what needs to be done in order to get the job done. And hate to say it, bud: That's you. Yeah, you're a tentacle-faced freak. But you're are NOT a Monster, Planeswalker. Not truly. Not yet. But if you continue perceiving yourself as a monster...you will act like a monster. And the moment you act like a monster is the moment that you truly become one. While your appearance is Alien, child, inside your chest beats the heart of a man.""

"Two."

"Pardon?"

"Two, Leonard. I have two hearts. And, from what I can tell...at least 3 interconnected brains. Just like a Beholder."

"Three brains, eh? Could have fooled me. Why don't you start using them then?"

Baldur's Gate : The Sword Coast Chronicles : NWN2 Persistent World

Salim el-Faddir: Archmage of Anarchy

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Re: Salim el-Faddir: Archmage of Anarchy