Re: A few NEW ha ha's worth
Posted: Mon Aug 06, 2012 7:33 pm
Steve! Do you feel like rolling up a sten like character?
All of these are Baldur's Gate quotes:
Protagonist: Sorry, Aldeth, but we're siding with the druids. They have this great Aloe-Vera balm they are giving away samples of, and my armor has been chafing a bit, ya know?
Cespenar: "You have big hammer, Bhaal once dropped big hammer on big godly toe. Jumped around and sweared for days he did. Kicked poor me all the way to Baator. Very bad week that"
Cespenar: I'm running out of recipes soon. Gotta see Martha. She's somewhere in hell I think." ----> referring to Martha Stewart
Edwin: Elminster this, Elminster that. Give ME 2000 years and a pointy hat and I'll kick his arse!
Winthrop: My hotel's as clean as an Elven arse!
Korgan (Dwarf): Huh - I thought ye flyin' elves hatched yer young from eggs! Ach - 'tis too bad... I fancied an omelette this morning!
Viconia: Minsc, that tattoo on your face. Does it have tribal significance or did some nursery's fingerpainting class assault you with the blue pastels?
Minsc: I do not like the tone of your voice, Dark Elf. The face I have is the face the ladies love! Boo loves Minsc's face, too! Don't you, Boo?
Edwin: Greetings. I am Edwin Odesseiron. You simians may refer to me merely as "Sir," if you prefer a less... syllable intensive workout.
Jan: Time for a litle adventure, is it? I figured as much. I saw some ogres down in Amn capture a small Bhaalspawn...a kobold, that one, my but that Bhaal got around, didn't he? Anyway, they were stewing him in a big iron pot and I thought to myself "Jan, my boy, that's adventure you're smelling".
Protagonist: That's horrible!
Jan: Not as horrible as the stew. Very bland, no salt.
Jan: So you finally got little Aerie pregnant. Well with you two going at it like two hormonally imbalanced rabbits I was beginning to think your bow was out of arrows if you know what I mean.
Edwin: Well, it would seem the leader of our little group has impregnated the impressionable circus child. And here I thought she was merely getting chubby without the ring master's whip to keep her in shape.
