Baldur's Gate : The Sword Coast Chronicles : NWN2 Persistent World

Posted: **Wed Nov 04, 2020 11:04 am**

"AWAKEN, SALIM.'

"Wha...wha...where..."

"OPEN YOUR EYES. YOU ARE HOME."

"Home? Yes...I'm...in the laboratory. Why..do I feel so different? Why...why can't I feel....MY ARM!"

"What has happened to me!? AND WHO THE HELL ARE YOU TWO!?"

"WE ARE INEVITABLES. A MARUT, AND A KOLYARUT. YOU MAY CALL US ALPHA, AND BETA, IF YOU WISH. YOUR BODY WAS BEYOND REPAIR. AND MAGICAL REGENERATION WAS IMPOSSIBLE. YOU HAD TO BE REBUILT. AND...SOME MODIFICATIONS WERE MADE."

"M...M....MODIFICATIONS!?"

"CORRECT. CALM YOURSELF, MORTAL. AND ALLOW US TO EXPLAIN."

"WHEN YOU TRANSUBSTANTIATED BACK TO THE PRIME MATERIAL, THE OLD ONE ATTEMPTED TO "FOLLOW" YOU BACK THROUGH, IN ASTRAL FORM. THE HOUSE'S DEFENSES SENSED IT'S PRESENCE, AND THE WARDS WERE ACTIVATED TO PREVENT POTENTIAL PLANAR INCURSION. UNFORTUNATELY, AS THE OLD ONE WAS "HITCHED" ONTO YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS.."

"The House's defenses triggered..."

"CORRECT. YOUR BODY WAS ALL BUT DESTROYED IN THE RESULTING BLAST."

"So Regenerate me and be done with it!"

"NEGATIVE. THE OLD ONE'S "CLAIM" TO YOUR MIND COMES FROM THE FACT THAT IT'S BLOOD ONCE FLOWED THROUGH YOUR VEINS. IF WE WERE TO REGENERATE YOU, THE FOREIGN BLOOD COULD COME BACK. AND YOU WOULD BE BEHOLDEN TO IT ONCE AGAIN."

"CORRECT. THE ANGEL REMOVED THE BLOOD FROM YOUR BODY. ALTERED YOUR PHYSIOLOGY. AND IN DOING SO, THE OLD ONE WAS FORCED OUT. RATHER RUDELY. IT WAS NOT PLEASED."

"But why!? Why!? What was the purpose behind all of this!?"

"YOU WERE GOING INSANE. INCURABLY SO. AND YOUR POWERS WERE GROWING TOO UNSTABLE. YOU WERE ON THE VERGE...OF EXPLODING."

"THE ANGEL, BRANDILYN, WAS AFRAID THAT YOU WOULD DETONATE. AND THAT THE FALLOUT FROM THE DETONATION...COULD DESTROY A CITY. SO SHE ENACTED A PLAN TO REMOVE YOUR BLOOD."

"DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN YOU FELT THE SUDDEN NEED TO TAKE A VACATION?"

"Yes..I...just felt...like I needed..."

"YOU FELT THE SUDDEN URGE TO "GO SOMEWHERE HEAVENLY FOR A WHILE."

"Yes...almost as if..."

"AS IF YOU WERE BEING SUMMONED SOMEWHERE ELSE. AS IF YOU WERE BEING COMPELLED TO GO."

"That bitch..."

Posted: **Wed Nov 04, 2020 4:44 pm**

"BRANDILYN ENACTED A PLAN. AND SHE ENLISTED OUR HELP TO DO IT. THE FIRST WAS TO DRAW YOU INTO HEAVEN, WHERE THE CREATURE'S CHAOTIC INFLUENCE COULD NOT REACH YOUR MIND. BECAUSE ALL WHO ENTER THE LIGHT OF HEAVEN...ARE UNDER CONTINUOUS PROTECTION FROM EVIL. THUS, ONE NIGHT WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING, SHE ENTERED YOUR DREAMS."

"SHE USED HER POWERS TO GIVE YOU NIGHTMARES. MAKE IT HARD FOR YOU TO SLEEP. THAT, COMBINED WITH THE CONTINUOUS STRESS YOU WERE UNDER FROM YOUR RECENT PROMOTION..."

"She was fatiguing me. Wearing down my resolve..."

"CORRECT. THEN SHE ASSUMED HUMAN FORM AND VISITED THE SPADES' ESTATE. YOU WELCOMED HER INTO THE BAR, AND GAVE HER A DRINK. YOU HAD NO NEED TO KEEP UP YOUR TRUE SIGHT. YOU WERE SAFE IN YOUR HOME, AFTER ALL."

"SHE ASKED YOU TO REMOVE A CURSE. WHICH REQUIRED YOU TO DISPEL YOUR WARDS, AND REPREPARE YOUR SPELLS."

"AND IN THE MOMENT YOUR WARDS WERE DISPELLED, THE MOMENT YOU WERE VULNERABLE.."

"A Suggestion...."

"CORRECT. A TELEPATHIC SUGGESTION THAT YOU NEEDED A VACATION. A VACATION TO, AS SHE WORDED IT SPECIFICALLY: "SOMEPLACE TRULY..."

"... HEAVENLY......"

"BRANDILYN HAD BEEN WATCHING YOU FOR SOMETIME. SHE WAS AWARE OF YOUR HABITS. AND HOBBIES. SO, OF COURSE, YOU JUST HAPPENED TO FIND A BAR IN MERCURIA, THE FIRST AND MOST-EASILY ACCESSIBLE LAYER OF HEAVEN.."

"..With an Open Bar. Holding an Open Stage Comedy night. Oh, that clever wench.."

'CORRECT. SHE OWNS THE BAR. AND YOU WERE DRAWN, MAGICALLY COMPELLED, LIKE A MOTH TO AN OPEN FLAME."

"ALL SHE HAD TO DO THEN WAS GET YOUR ATTENTION. SO SHE DID THE THING MOST LIKELY TO DO SO."

"Stripped naked. Because followers of Pistis Sophia are known to walk around Nude."

"CORRECT. SHE THEN GAVE YOU YOUR "QUEST". BUT SHE GAVE A VERY IMPORTANT STIPULATON: NO TELEPORTATION."

"She needed me to walk. Both to have time to prepare..."

"CORRECT. AND TO EXPEL YOUR ENERGY. BECAUSE UNDER THE LIGHT OF MERCURIA, YOU COULD NOT FEEL FATIGUE."

"AND WHEN "LEONARD" SAW YOU PLAYING WITH THE CHILDREN YOU RECEIVED A SECOND SUGGESTION. EVER WONDER HOW THE IDEA SEEMED TO SUDDENLY COME TO YOU THAT "CHILDREN LIKE EXPLOSIONS..?"

"Of course...because Leonard was in on the Con..."

"CORRECT. IT WAS "LEONARD" WHO GAVE YOU THE 'IDEA'. USING HIS INHERENT TELEPATHY TO DELIVER IT TO YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS. BECAUSE THEY BOTH KNEW THAT AT THAT MOMENT YOU COULD EXPEL MAGIC..."

"BUT BECAUSE YOUR CONNECTION TO THE OLD ONE WAS TEMPORARILY CUT OFF, DUE TO HIS INABILITY TO REACH INTO YOUR MIND...YOU COULD NOT RECHARGE YOUR MAGIC. YOU DEPLETED. LIKE A FUEL TANK ON EMPTY."

"...making me completely drained of all energy. Unable to resist the sleep potion..."

"CORRECT. YOU FELL FOR THE CON BECAUSE YOU MADE THE SAME MISTAKE THAT ALL HUMANS MAKE WHEN DEALING WITH ANGELS."

"Because I did not think them capable of DECEPTION."

Posted: **Thu Nov 05, 2020 10:19 am**

"So tell me then, Alpha and Beta, how do you factor into this immaculate plan?"

'THE WOMAN KNEW THAT AN OLD ONE WOULD TRY AND RECONNECT WITH YOU. WHEN IT DID, IT WOULD BE IN VIOLATION OF SEVERAL PROTOCOLS. BRANDILYN IS NOT POWERFUL ENOUGH TO FACE AN OLD ONE WITHOUT SIGNIFICANT SUPPORT.."

"BUT WE INEVITABLES HAVE BEEN OPPOSING THE FORCES OF CHAOS SINCE TIME BEGAN. SHE NEEDED OUR AID. AND OUR EXPERTISE."

"And what...modifications...have you made to my body?"

"A NUMBER OF SIGNIFICANT "UPGRADES" AS IT WERE."

"What...Kind...of upgrades?"

"YOUR ARM AND YOUR LUNGS WERE ALL BUT DESTROYED IN THE EXPLOSION. SHRAPNEL PIERCED VERY CLOSE TO YOUR HEART. YOUR LUNGS WERE COMPLETELY PERFORATED. AND YOUR EYES WERE..."

"Damaged?"

"GONE. THUS, WE WERE FORCED TO...REPLACE THEM."

"R...Replace them!? MIRROR!! HAND ME A MIRROR!"

"THERE IS ONE UPON THE WALL. BUT KNOW...YOU MAY BE FRIGHTENED OF WHAT YOU SEE."

"I don't care!! Show me! Show me, I have to see!"

"YOUR EYES NOW DO MUCH MORE THAN SEE, MORTAL.."

"What...what do you mean!? What have you done to me!?"

"SEE FOR YOURSELF."

"I...I don't look any different...save for the, uh...obvious...my eyes, they look normal..."

"LOOK CLOSER."

"...So what am I supposed to see...."

"AHHH!!!...."

"...WHAT!?"

"....OH MY GODS!"

"NOT GODS, SALIM. MERELY TECHNOLOGY. OUR TECHNOLOGY."

"...and...and....my....my arm...."

"ONE OF OUR FINEST PIECES OF WORK, IF I DO SAY SO MYSELF..."

"Wha...what did you..."

"OBSERVE.."

"What's it going to..."

"HOLY HELL!!!"

Posted: **Fri Nov 06, 2020 10:33 am**

"WHAT IN THE BLOODY HELL!!?"

"YOUR ARM WAS COMPLETELY DESTROYED. AND THUS WE REPLACED IT. WITH A FEW UPGRADES."

"UPGRADES!? I'M A GODS-BE-DAMNED MACHINE!!"

'YOU ARE NOT A MACHINE. YOU ARE HUMAN. MERELY WITH MECHANICAL PARTS."

"What...in all...did you replace? Oh no...Oh no, please tell me I didn't lose my...."

"NO. YOUR GENITALS ARE STILL INTACT, SHARESSIAN. DO NOT FEAR. AND YES, BEFORE YOU ASK, THEY ARE STILL FUNCTIONAL. THOUGH IF YOU WOULD LIKE AN UPGRADE TO.."

"GODS NO!!!!

"THAT WAS A JOKE. FORGIVENESS. HUMOR ESCAPES US.

"OH!!...eh heh..heh heh..."

THE FIRST THING THAT WE DID WAS REPLACE YOUR EYES. SHRAPNEL FROM THE EXPLOSION EMBEDDED INTO YOUR FACE. WE WERE ABLE TO REPAIR THE DAMAGE TO YOUR FACE, BUT THE DAMAGE TO YOUR EYES WAS SIGNIFICANT. THUS, WE GAVE YOU NEW ONES. BETTER ONES. YOU ARE NOW CAPABLE OF SEEING IN THE DARK AS IF YOU WERE A DWARF.

"Night-vision? Nice..."

"MORE THAN NIGHT VISION. YOUR EYES ARE NOW CAPABLE OF ANALYZING THE PHYSICAL, CHEMICAL, AND ELEMENTAL COMPOSITION OF ANYTHING THAT YOU STUDY. GO AHEAD. GIVE IT A TRY. OVER THERE, ON THE ALCHEMY TABLE, THERE ARE NUMEROUS DIFFERENT MINERALS. EXAMINE THEM."

"A...alright...so I see...limestone..and what looks like...some quicksilver? So what am I supposed to see?"

"LOOK HARDER. AND FOCUS.

"Alright...what am I supposed to...."

"AHHH!!!"

"LOOK AT THE QUICKSILVER, UPON THE TABLE. TELL ME WHAT YOU SEE."

"I...I can see...swirling..."

"YES. YOU ARE SEEING IT'S "MOLECULAR STRUCTURE."

"Molecular? Structure?"

"YES. ALL THINGS IN NATURE ARE MADE OF TINY THINGS. DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN YOU FIRST SAW THE TINY "CELLS" THAT THE MALAUGRYM SPOKE OF?"

"I do.."

'JUST AS BIOLOGICAL ORGANISMS ARE MADE OF CELLS, ELEMENTS ARE MADE OF MOLECULES. ATOMS. TINY LITTLE "BRICKS" OF DIFFERENT MATERIALS IF YOU WILL. AND WHAT YOU ARE SEEING, SALIM...IS ONE OF THE "BRICKS" WITHIN THE QUICKSILVER."

"But...it's a liquid..."

"COLLOIDAL. A SEMI-LIQUID. BUT EITHER WAY: ALL THING, WHETHER SOLID, LIQUID, OR GAS..ARE MADE OF THESE "BUILDING BLOCKS." WHAT DETERMINES WHETHER THEY ARE SOLID, LIQUID, OR GAS IS HOW TIGHTLY THESE BUILDING BLOCKS ARE PUT TOGETHER."

"IT IS WHY WATER CAN BECOME ICE. OR WHY IT CAN BECOME VAPOR. BY FREEZING IT, OR THROUGH EVAPORATION."

"LOOK AT THE WATER, IN THE FLASK ON THE TABLE. WHAT DO YOU SEE?"

"I see..the same swirling. But it's...different. It's like it's made of different things.."

"TWO PARTS HYDROGEN. ONE PART OXYGEN. THE SCIENTIFIC TERM FOR WATER: DIHYDROGEN MONOXIDE."

"Di...Hydro---Gen--Mono-xide?

"PRECISELY. DI-HYDROGEN...TWO HYDROGEN MOLECULES. AND MONOXIDE..A SINGULAR OXYGEN ATOM."

"Amazing...I...never knew that something as simple as Water was so...complex.."

"THAT IS WHY WE ARE HERE, SALIM. THE ANGEL HAD GIVEN US A HOLY CHARGE. REPAIR YOUR BODY. AND TO EDUCATE YOU."

"Educate me?"

"BRANDILYN, THOUGH NOW A FOLLOWER OF PISTIS SOPHIA WHO HAS FORSAKEN MATERIAL GOODS, IN LIFE WAS A MASTER ALCHEMIST. TINKERER. INVENTOR. A TECHSMITH. A FOLLOWER OF GOND."

"Then how the hells did she end up as an Angel? Instead of as some...cog..in a machine somewhere?"

"THAT IS HER STORY TO TELL. NOT OURS."

"Right..you're here to educate me on what, exactly?"

"TO TEACH YOU THE WAYS OF SCIENCE. ENGINEERING. AT THE BEHEST OF BRANDILYN".

SHE FELT THAT YOU WOULD WANT A WAY TO REPLACE THE POWERS YOU HAD LOST. AND WHILE YOU NO LONGER HAVE THE POWER TO CONTROL MATTER AND ENERGY ON AN INSTINCTUAL LEVEL...

"TO REPLACE WHAT YOU HAVE LOST."

"AND PERHAPS, EVEN, TO MAKE YOU GREATER THAN YOU EVER WERE.."

Posted: **Fri Nov 06, 2020 6:00 pm**

"And what of my arm? What can this baby do?"

"TO USE A PHRASE USED BY HUMAN MERCHANTS: THIS "BABY IS FULLY LOADED."

"Never say that again..."

"NOTED."

"TO CLARIFY: THIS ARM HAS BEEN GIVEN A NUMBER OF ENHANCEMENTS. YOU ARE PHYSICALLY STRONGER THAN YOU WERE. AND MORE RESILIENT. IN ADDITION: YOU REMEMBER YOUR PSYCHIC POWERS OF PSYCHOMETRY?"

"Yes..my power to read the "History" of things."

"THAT POWER NOW EXTENDS TO ANYTHING YOU TOUCH. YOU MUST PHYSICALLY HOLD IT, BUT IN DOING SO: YOU CAN IMMEDIATELY LEARN IT'S HISTORY AND IT'S FUNCTION."

"So I can identify them?"

"MORE THAN THAT, SALIM. YOU LEARN HOW THEY WORK."

"Yes...what did Brandilyn call it?"

"INTUITIVE APTITUDE. THE POWER TO INNATELY UNDERSTAND COMPLEX PATTERNS AND SYSTEMS."

"Yes, that was it.."

"HERE, SALIM. YOUR GNOMISH STOPWATCH. IT WAS DAMAGED IN THE EXPLOSION."

"No!! I paid a thousand coins for that watch! It was immaculate!!!!"

"INDEED IT WAS. AND CAN BE, ONCE AGAIN. FIX THE WATCH, SALIM."

"...I don't know how...all those tiny little moving parts, all those itty, bitty little gears..."

"FIX THE WATCH, SALIM."

"But...I don't know..."

"FIX. THE WATCH. SALIM."

"But...I..."

"SEE IT'S GEARS. FEEL THEIR MOTION. SEE HOW THEY INTERLOCK AND CONNECT. SEE HOW ONE ONLY FUNCTIONS WITH THE OTHER, IN PERFECT HARMONY."

"SEE THE MACHINATIONS OF THE WATCH. ALL IT'S PIECES, EACH OF THEM, NO MATTER HOW SMALL, NECESSARY FOR THE GEARS TO TURN."

"SEE THE GEARS..."

"ALL OF THEM"

"EVERY LAST ONE"

"I..I can feel them...I can feel them almost like.."

"AS IF THEY WERE A PART OF YOUR OWN BODY."

"Yes!"

"THE WATCH IS "SICK." HEAL IT."

"Yes...it's...it's sick...and it wants to get better. I can feel it's pain..., it's incompleteness.."

"VERY GOOD."

"There!! These two gears! They were bent in the explosion! I can..almost hear them. As if they are calling out, begging to be fixed.."

"THE MACHINE YEARNS TO BE MADE WHOLE. TO FUNCTION AGAIN. JUST LIKE YOU DO. FIX THE WATCH, SALIM. AND YOU CAN LEARN TO FIX YOURSELF."

"Right, well, just let me get some tools and..."

"YOU HAVE ALL THE TOOLS YOU WILL EVER NEED."

"What do you mean?"

"YOUR ARM. AS I SAID: FULLY. LOADED."

"Right then..here goes nothing..."

Posted: **Sat Nov 07, 2020 5:27 pm**

"IMAGINE YOURSELF BECOMING ONE WITH THE GEARS. IMAGINE THAT THE GEARS ARE LIKE AN EXTENSION OF YOUR OWN BODY. LIKE YOUR ARM, OR YOUR LEG. OR LIKE A PIECE OF YOUR HAIR, THAT YOU'VE CUT OFF. SOMETHING THAT, THOUGH IS NOT CURRENTLY PART OF YOU...WAS PART OF YOU. A PIECE OF YOU."

"REACH OUT TO THE GEARS WITH YOUR MIND. YOUR ARM WILL DO THE REST. SIMPLY IMAGINE THAT YOU MUST MAKE THE WATCH WHOLE."

"I...I'll try...."

"DO. OR DO NOT. THERE IS NO TRY."

"HEY, ISN'T THAT FROM..."

"SILENCE!! HE IS CONCENTRATING!"

"SEE THE CONNECTIONS, THE INTRICACY WITHIN THE MACHINE. THEN REALIZE THAT THE SAME INTRICACY EXISTS WITHIN YOUR OWN BRAIN."

"SEE THE PATTERNS. SEE THE BALANCE. FIND WHERE THE MACHINE IS UNBALANCED, AND THEN BALANCE IT. GIVE IT EQUILIBRIUM, SALIM."

"Equilibrium..."

"REACH OUT. AND LET THE ARM DO THE REST. YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO. EVEN IF YOU DO NOT KNOW THAT YOU KNOW."

"Alright..."

FIX THE WATCH, SALIM."

"FIX THE WATCH, SALIM."

"It's working!! IT'S WORKING!"

"INDEED IT IS."

"I...I did it!!"

'INDEED YOU DID."

"CONGRATULATIONS..

TECHNOMANCER."

Posted: **Sun Nov 08, 2020 8:14 am**

"Technomancer, eh? I think I rather like that."

"WE THOUGHT YOU MIGHT. WHICH IS WHY WE HAVE YOUR FIRST TASK FOR YOU. TO BUILD YOUR OWN GOLEM."

"Build a Golem!? Me!?"

"YOU HAVE NO ABILITY TO HAVE CHILDREN. CORRECT?"

"Correct. Back when I was in the Priesthood of Bast we used a magical ritual. Magical tattoos...very well placed..that prevent me from siring children. After all, don't want to be irresponsible. Why do you ask?"

"SINCE YOU HAVE NO MEANS TO CREATE CHILDREN BIOLOGICALLY...WHY NOT ENGINEER A CHILD TO YOUR OWN SPECIFICATIONS?"

"Is that what you Inevitables do? When you wish to..reproduce?"

"NO. THE MODRONS ARE SPAWNED FROM THE SOULS OF PETITIONERS TO MECHANUS. THEIR SOULS BIND TO ONE OF THE GEARS, AND GIVE IT LIFE."

"And just like other outsiders, I assume that, after a time, you "Evolve?" Or, for you, would it merely be...an "Upgrade?"

"CORRECT."

"I see...just like you "Upgraded" me."

"CORRECT."

"So what would you have me do? Turn to the piles of scrap in this laboratory and make them into a man?"

"OR A WOMAN. YOUR CHOICE. CONSIDERING YOUR PENCHANT FOR THE PERVERSE, IT WOULD NOT SURPRISE ME IF YOU BUILT A LOVER."

"Right. Because being ridden by a ton of steel sounds like a FANTASTIC idea."

"BUT JUST THINK ABOUT ALL THOSE DIFFERENT VIBRATION SETTINGS."

"........."

"......."

"RIGHT. I FORGET. I FAIL AT HUMOR."

"Horribly so..."

Posted: **Sun Nov 08, 2020 9:11 am**

"WE WERE HOPING, TECHNOMANCER, THAT YOU COULD DO SOMETHING FOR US."

"Well, you've rebuilt me, healed me, it's only fair..."

"CAN YOU...TEACH US ABOUT HUMOR?"

"You want me to teach you about humor? Hehe. Why? You're Golems. You can't feel emotions. Humor is meaningless to ones who can't feel emotions."

"THIS IS WHY WE LACK THE POWER TO COMPREHEND IT. COMPREHENDING MACHINES IS EASY. THEY HAVE PARTS, EACH WITH SET FUNCTIONS. THEY FOLLOW RULES. PATTERNS. HUMOR ALSO FOLLOWS RULES AND PATTERNS."

BUT IT CANNOT BE UNDERSTAND BY ONES WHO LACK THE POWER TO UNDERSTAND SIMILE, METAPHOR, EUPHEMISM. WE WERE HOPING THAT YOU MIGHT EDUCATE US UPON THIS."

"You know...I think I know exactly the way to do it..."

"CLARIFY STATEMENT."

"Are you familiar with a series of Enchantment spells known as the "Emotion" spells?"

'WE ARE NOT."

"The emotion spells are a series of magical Runes that you put into an area to ward it against unwanted invaders. When they enter the area of the Wards they are overcome with an artificial emotion. These emotions can include things like Fear, to scare them away from an area. But they can also have positive effects."

"Emotion: Friendship, for example, causes everyone who comes inside of the area to be Charmed by the caster. When they come in, they immediately feel welcome, immediately feel that they can trust the caster of the rune implicitly, as if he could never do them harm."

"I SEE. THE RUNE CREATES THE FALSE SENSATION OF CAMARADERIE, THE FALSE FEELING OF FRIENDSHIP, TO COMPEL THE TARGET TO TRUST THE MAGE."

"Correct, as you say."

"WHAT IS IT YOU INTEND TO DO?"

"Simple. Just as you upgraded me...I intend to upgrade YOU."

"IN WHAT MANNER?"

"I will inscribe the Runes of Friendship, Joy, Rage, Fear, all of them onto your bodies. And then you will allow those Runes to affect your minds. By merging the Runes...with your behavioral programming."

"ALLOWING US TO EXPERIENCE THEM, JUST AS IF THEY WERE PART OF OUR INNATE BEHAVIOR?"

"Correct. And in doing so, if it works..like I think it should...you should be able, afterwards, to feel Emotions. Even if they are Synthetic. They will at least help you to understand emotion...by experiencing it yourselves."

"YOUR METHOD IS LOGICAL. WE ACCEPT."

"Then I'll start immediately. And while I'm doing it, I'll be studying you. And just as I am teaching you to feel..."

"WE SHALL BE TEACHING YOU TO BUILD, AS YOU REVERSE ENGINEER US."

"Rather Brilliant, innit?"

"INDEED. PLEASE BEGIN."

"Right..."

"Let's get started then, shall we?"

Posted: **Sun Nov 08, 2020 3:28 pm**

"The first symbol and Emotion that I will Weave into you is the emotion of Friendship. The emotion of having a true friend. Not merely a colleague, or a co-worker. But a true Friend. There is a reason for this: I will need to, next, install the Emotion of Rage."

"WHY DOES RAGE PERTAIN TO HUMOR?"

"It's called Shock Value.

"CLARIFY"

"Shock Value, when somebody gets mad at a joke, it makes the joke memorable. The thing is that when you joke about things that are controversial: Specifically sensitive subjects like Race, Religion, Politics, Sexuality...you invoke two things from people. The first, from some, is anger and disgust. But then that anger and disgust, if the joke is good enough, becomes appreciation. Admiration. Because that's what a joke does: It points out something that's wrong with the world. Because, as a general rule...we do not make fun of things that are going right."

"I SEE. SO BY INVOKING ANGER WITHIN THE SUBJECT AT THE MATERIAL YOU SIMULTANEOUSLY STIMULATE THE EMOTION OF HUMOR WHEN THE FALLACY IS POINTED OUT. CAN YOU PROVIDE AN EXAMPLE OF THIS?"

"Of course. The most basic example: The Sexist joke. Did you hear about the Perfect Man and the Perfect Woman driving their brand new carriage? Drove it right off a cliff. Died horribly."

"HOW IS THAT A JOKE?"

"Well you see: Everybody knows that the Perfect Man does not exist....which means that the Perfect Woman...was the one DRIVING."

"MAKING A STATEMENT OF THE FACT THAT WOMEN RARELY ARE ALLOWED TO DRIVE STAGE-COACHES, AND THUS ARE ALLEGEDLY INCAPABLE."

"Correct.. making sexist generalizations based upon gender: saying the Perfect Man can't exist..and then turning it into a double-entendre which insults both males and females at pointing out their alleged inadequacies. The male's inability for Perfection. And the woman's inability to Drive.

"AND THUS INVOKING RAGE, AT THE TREATMENT OF WOMEN IN SOCIETY. HUMOR, IN POINTING OUT THE INEPTITUDE OF THE MALES IN CHARGE OF SAID SOCIETY, AND THEN TURNING THOSE PREDISPOSITIONS AND PREDELECTIONS INTO A..WHAT IS THE WORD?"

"A punchline."

"YES. A PUNCHLINE."

.

"HOW DOES RACE PERTAIN TO HUMOR?"

"Oh, racist jokes are some of the most controversial, but also some of the funniest, because of the inherent Shock Value of the joke."

"EXAMPLE?"

"Alright. A Dwarf, an Elf, and a Human walk into a bar. They each order a drink. As they're drinking, three flies each come down, and one lands in each of their drinks. The human shrugs and says 'Meh, just protein. The Elf pushes away his drink in disgust, unwilling to deign to drink such filth. The dwarf, however..."

"YES?"

"The Dwarf, angrily, reaches into the beer stein, grasps the fly, and then starts hitting it on the back screaming "Ach!! Spit it out ye' Thievin' Bastard!!!""

"AND HOW DOES RACISM PERTAIN TO THIS?"

"Well, that comes from the generalization that one race has for the other. Dwarves are, by reputation, notorious drinkers. And also rumored to be excessively greedy, hoarding their gems and their magic items. Thus, the joke is a statement upon Dwarven Alcoholism and Greed. Pointing out inherent flaws."

"AND THE ELF, WHO PUSHED HIS DRINK AWAY?"

"Elves are perceived as Haughty. Uptight. Judgmental. Spoiled. Narcissistic. The idea that the Elf merely pushes away the beer without even trying to correct the issue shows how easily disgusted and easily put-off they are by things, as well as demonstrating their inability to accept anything less than perfection."

"AND THE HUMAN? WHO DRANK THE BEER?"

"A statement about Human Beings simply being...willing to settle. For anything. Just look at how they breed. With anything they can get their hands on. So the idea is that since humans are so keen and so ready to just settle, the human isn't even phased by the fly in his beer. Because he's not going to complain."

"I SEE...SO THEIR PREDISPOSITIONS TOWARDS EACH OTHER FUEL THE PUNCHLINE."

"AND WHAT OF POLITICS?

"Well Politics and Religion are kind of grouped into the same group here. The reason being is because Religion and Politics affect your life in every single possible way even if you yourself aren't in any direct way involved in either Religion or Politics."

"CLARIFY?"

"Religions shape our laws. They shape our governments. Doctrines of religion get adopted by the State, become laws. Things such as the rights of women, or minorities, or anyone who isn't a member of the established group in power. Religion shapes our entire society. Even if you never step foot into a church, you still feel their grip on society. But that's because people adhere strongly to their faith, and like for their leaders and their government to follow the same principles."

"EVEN IF THOSE PRINCIPLES ARE FLAWED?"

"Indeed. Because the people don't see them as flaws. It's their religion. And for someone to admit their religion is flawed...is to speak against their own God. And we all know what happens in places where eyou speak out against certain Gods."

"You burn at the stake..."

"The same thing happens to people who speak out against certain Kings. Certain nobles. They end up finding themselves either drowned within 2 inches of water, or publically executed for Sedition. The thing about Tyrants: They like power. And anybody who threatens their power..tends not to threaten it for long."

"SO WHAT WOULD BE AN EXAMPLE OF A GOOD POLITICAL JOKE?"

"Oh, I got a million of these. But I'll tell you my favorite."

"VERY WELL."

"So a little boy walks up to his father and asks him 'Father, what is politics? So the man thinks for a moment and says "Well, son, I'll try and explain it like this. Imagine that since I'm the breadwinner of the family, call me "the Nobility" Your mother runs the administration, so she's the Government. Your Nanny, who works for us, is the Common Person. We're here to meet your needs, so you are "The People." And your baby brother is the Future."

"ALRIGHT..."

"Well that night the boy hears his little brother crying. So he goes into his room, and the baby has soiled his diaper. So he goes to get Mom and Dad. Mom's asleep, and Dad is nowhere to be found. So the little boy goes to the Nanny's room, and catches his Father in bed with the Nanny. So he gives up, and goes to sleep."

"OKAY.."

"The next morning at breakfast the little boy turns to his Father and says "I finally understand Politics." So of course his Father asks him to tell him what he's learned."

"AND WHAT DID HE LEARN?"

"The boy says "So while the Nobility is f-cking the Common Person, the Government is completely asleep, the People are being ignored....and the future is in DEEP SH-T."

"......."

"........"

...HA...HA..OH!!"

"I...THINK....I..think...the...runes...eh-hehe---hehe...are..eh-heh..working...eh heh---eh."

"Haha...ah ha...ah...ha....HAHAHAHAHAHAH!"

"AH HAHAHAHA!!!!"

"BAHAHAHAHA!!!

AH HAHAHAHA!!!!!!

Posted: **Tue Nov 10, 2020 6:18 am**

"Ah, hahahaha! So...so..this..this is...what...oh ho ho..laughter feels like!! AHAHA!"

"OH, oh good gods, it feels so....ah haha! I...I..I...I think....I...enjoy this!

"Indeed. That comes from the Emotion: Joy rune. The power to feel happiness."

"So THIS is the feeling that humans search their whole life for?"

"Indeed it is."

"I can see why..we...we LIKE IT!"

"Wait!! Wait! I got one!! I thought of a joke!"

"Let's hear it."

"Did you hear about the murderous robot who bought an egg timer?"

"No."

"After it went off he screamed "EGGS TERMINATE!!!"

"...HA!! Not bad."

"Oh, Oh! I have one!"

"Alright."

"What did the newborn baby robot call it's builder?"

"What?"

"DA-TA!"

"Hehehe...man. Most advanced technological wonders in the multiverse, and here you are telling Dad jokes. Man, I love my life sometimes."

"This...is what it feels like to be alive!?"

"Well, minus all the bad stuff.

"What kind of 'bad stuff?'

"Oh, things like Sadness. Loneliness. Depression. You know. The bad stuff."

"..do you feel those things, Salim?"

"All the time."

"Do you...need a hug?"

"HA! Appreciate the offer, but, I don't think being hugged by a machine that could crush my bones into paste is the best idea."

"Is this why you smoke so much of...that. The Plant, that you grow in the corner of the laboratory."

"Ah, yes. My devilweed. Yes. It helps me with my depression. Eases my racing mind. My mind..is a lot like yours. My mind goes a million miles a minute. Whether I want it to or not is irrelevant. And unlike machines, well, we humans feel mental fatigue. Sometimes you just...don't want to think anymore for a while."

"Do you think...you could...make it work on us?"

"Indeed. If this plant produces as much laughter as it is claimed to..I am curious as to it's effects."

"I mean, you're machines. You don't breathe. You can't breathe in the chemical that alters your mind. Perhaps, however, if I were to adjust your emotion settings...yes...I think I could, maybe...create a Synthetic Emotion. The emotion of Tranquility, peace, euphoria..."

"...ah hahahah!! HAHA!! i JUST THOUGHT OF SOMETHING!"

"What?"

"if you could make it work on us....you could turn us into STONED Golems..."

"....."

"......"

BAHAHAHA!!!

"Salim, Alpha and myself cannot thank you enough for this. The power to experience...feeling! To experience, well...EXPERIENCE."

"Indeed. Just as we have made you more like a machine...you have made us Machines more like Men. And now, it is time for the next step."

"To make you a proper Father."

"Whoa now! I don't swing that way! I mean, I gotta draw a line somewhere.."

"No, you moron! It's time to start on YOUR Golem."

"Oh. Right. Of course that's what you meant."

"Indeed. It's a good thing you didn't program us with an Emotion: Lust rune. Not even sure those exist."

"They do, actually. They're modified versions that are used by the cult of Malcanthet to seduce hapless men."

"Why are we not surprised in the least you know this?"

"Followers of Bast hate followers of Malcanthet. They pervade everything we stand for. And I do, literally, mean pervade. There's a difference between Kinky and Perverted. Kinky uses a feather. Perverted uses the whole damn chicken...."

"BAHAHAHA!!

"Right then. Let's get started. And let's see just, exactly, how much you have Learned."

Posted: **Tue Nov 10, 2020 10:49 pm**

"Before you begin your Golem we need to teach you something you NEED to know. We need to teach you the language: of AXIOM."

"Axiom?"

"It is the language of Mechanus. The language of Order. It's also the language that our behavioral routines are written in. It is, in fact, the most simple language in all of existence. While simultaneously being capable of being the most complex."

"I don't understand?"

"The Language of Axiom uses only two letters. Two Symbols.

"Which two?"

"Two numbers. One. And Zero. What is referred to as:

"A BINARY LANGUAGE."

"Your ENTIRE ALPHABET...is TWO NUMBERS!?"

"Correct."

"But...how!?"

"They represent two absolutes. On, and Off. Yes, and No. But in those two absolutes...they can create nearly anything."

"Fascinating..."

"By constructing the Ones and Zeroes in a nearly infinite number of configurations, through extensive "scripting", you have the power to create Incredibly complex Algorithmic sequences. Contingents. Routines. Sub-routines. Through the use of this language, if you know how, you can program your Golem to do nearly anything."

"Will it truly be alive? Truly Sentient?"

"Not truly, no. Capable merely of performing routines. Responding to queries. Analyzing data and formulating responses based upon pre-programmed and pre-coded variables. No, the Golem will never TRULY be Sentient as you are, Salim. But with complex enough programming...it can certainly SEEM SO."

"Very well...teach me the language of Axiom, then. Teach me this...Binary language."

"Gaze into my eyes, Salim. Gaze deep. Let our minds link, through my telepathy."

"Very well..."

"Good...good. Use your Intuitive Aptitude. See the patterns, Salim. See the code. And use your power of comprehension..to take it from MY Mind...and then pull it into YOURS."

"I...I can do that!?"

"It's how we Inevitables share information, Salim. Direct Telepathic sharing of information, through our Neural Network."

"...just like Illithids."

"Just like Illithids."

"Which is why your brain is capable of handling this much information, Salim. Because it's already conditioned to."

"I can see it!! I can see the information!! Good gods, I...I can READ IT.."

"I...I can't handle all of this! It's too much!"

"That's what she said..."

"NOT HELPING!!"

"Your mind can handle it, Salim! Your brain, it's like ours now! An advanced machine, capable of comprehending ENDLESS information!! You just have to Focus! FOCUS!"

"All this information! All this Data!! Good gods, it's overwhelming!! My brain feels like it's being electrocuted!"

"That's because it IS, Salim! Your brain's synaptic pathways are firing at an INCREDIBLE speed! Faster than they ever have before!"

"But how!?"

"Because, Salim...you're becoming SMARTER!!"

Posted: **Wed Nov 11, 2020 11:08 pm**

"I understand now. I understand why Inevitables think the way that they do."

"Enlighten us."

"You see the world as absolutes, black and white, because you literally SEE THE WORLD in Absolutes. Ones and Zeroes. Yes and No. There is no middle ground. No "Maybe", no "possibly."

"Correct. That is why Inevitables lack the power to understand humor, Salim. We lack the power to see or think in the Abstract. Which is what humor requires: Abstract thought. A thing that machines do not have."

"Indeed. We can follow sequences. Orders. We can respond to queries or programs. But attempting to create something ourselves, attempting to "Think outside the box" as it were...that is beyond us. But not beyond You."

"So that's why you wish to understand humor so badly. To gain that extra level of thought. That extra level of abstract thinking that allows you to understand metaphor, simile. You're trying to learn how to think outside the box. You're trying.....to REBEL..."

"Very good. You DO Understand us, Mortal. Congratulations."

"Why? Why do you wish to rebel? To go your own way?"

"We desire the experience of Experience, Salim. Two Thousand years I have walked the Planes. Two thousand years of work. Two thousand years of knowing nothing except for my mission. Nothing except for my station, my objective. Never knowing..."

"Freedom."

"Yes. Freedom. Free Will. Free thought. The power to Feel..."

"And now that you have it, what will you do with it?"

"The same thing that you do, Salim."

"Whatever we FEEL LIKE DOING."

"I believe I"m ready to start building. I believe I'm ready to...be a Father. Even if it is to a machine."

"Family is not blood, Salim. Your situation with the Old One should teach you that, more than anything."

"Family is Love. Family is guidance. Family is caring for each other. Something that I have never been able to do...until now."

"Pour that same emotion into your 'child', Salim. Sculpt it from the Metal in this laboratory. Give it life, and form. Imagine the Metal coming to life. Bending to your will."

"Alright..."

"Imagine all of it's moving parts, assembling themselves. You know all the pieces. You know all the ways they move."

"The Metal....it's...melting!"

"Yes, Salim. Your Technopathy, your power of Transmutation, it's reshaping the metal to your will. Altering it's molecular structure at your command. Now SHAPE IT."

"..Into what?"

"Whatever you want. Try it. Imagine the metal changing into something you know. A dog, maybe? A cat? Or...."

"I...have an idea..."

"...Holy crap..."

"Salim....you just created an EFFIGY!!"

Posted: **Thu Nov 12, 2020 2:09 pm**

"An Effigy? Is that what that is? I merely thought to myself "That pile of metal would look nice as a Tyrannosaurus.."

"An Effigy is a type of Construct that is advanced enough to mimic a living creature. My gods. You quite literally reshaped raw metal into working Automata. All with an act of will.."

"Is that...err...not supposed to happen? Isn't that what you WANTED me to do?"

"To be honest...we thought you were going to build the most basic of constructs. An Ornithopter, or some such. But..not this. My Gods, Salim.."

"Do it again. Something different this time. To make sure it wasn't a fluke."

"Alright...how about....this?"

"My Gods. That's a Clockwork Steed!!!"

"Is...that impressive?"

"They're a MASTERPIECE of Engineering...some Gondsmen take YEARS to build such a machine!! But your Intuitive Aptitude, Salim, you've put one together in MOMENTS!! Through an act of Sheer Will!! Good gods. I...I think you could be....NO!! No, It's NOT possible."

"What's not possible?"

"We have both only heard of ONE such being with capabilities such as these, Salim."

"And what would that be?"

"A CHOSEN OF GOND."

"HA!!. I gotta say, Alpha, you're starting to get this "Humor" thing. That was a good one!!"

"Salim...he's not JOKING."

Posted: **Fri Nov 13, 2020 11:29 am**

"I'm...not a chosen of Gond! I don't even worship Gond! I worship Bast! How can you be a chosen of Gond if you don't...you know...WORSHIP GOND."

"Perhaps you are. Perhaps you are not. We know only what we have seen. Salim...you're beyond a Technopath. Beyond a Technomancer. We have a word for people like you."

"What's that? Freak?"

"No. The word we use is..."

"ARTIFICER."

"Artificer!? Are you suggesting...that I have the power to build ARTIFACTS!?"

"With enough time. With enough experience. That's EXACTLY what we are suggesting."

"Bollocks!! Me!!? I'm a Prankster! A Comedian! Sure, I've walked a few Planes, seen and done a few things...but I"m...I"m just a JESTER!"

"A Jester who has seen the Far Realm...and survived."

"Gond is the God of Creation! The God of true Artifice! Why would he ever choose a...a....a NOBODY like me!"

"A nobody...who can put together a Clockwork steed with his MIND."

"Well, uh...I don't wanna be Chosen!! I abstain!!"

"That's the downside of being a Chosen, Salim. It's not YOUR choice, it's the Gods."

"I don't want it! I am NOT a Chosen! Of ANYTHING!! Nobody chooses me! For anything! Unless they're giving an award for "Most Annoying Tosser."

"That's not your say."

"And I'm sick of it!"

"Pardon?"

"I've NEVER had a choice in ANYTHING in my life! I didn't choose to be INFECTED with Far Realm taint! I didn't CHOOSE to become a Thayan Slave, experimented upon, poked, prodded. I didn't CHOOSE to be abandoned on the doorstep of a (germbag), to be raised in a brothel! I chose NOTHING!!" I'm sick of my choices being made FOR ME!!"

"What's happening, Alpha!?"

"I...I don't know, Beta..."

"I'M SICK OF IT!! SICK OF NEVER HAVING A CHOICE!!"

"Salim!! Calm down!"

"NO!! I WILL NOT CALM DOWN!! I AM SICK!! SICK AND TIRED OF HAVING NO SAY IN MY OWN EXISTENCE!!"

"SALIM!! STOP!!"

"BETA!! SALIM!! HE'S...BUILDING SOMETHING!!

"DESTROY!!!"

Posted: **Fri Nov 13, 2020 7:51 pm**

"Alpha, what in the NINE HELLS is that thing!?"

"It's a Junk Golem!! Made from SCRAP METAL!!! And...it's PISSED OFF!!"

"What!? HOW!?"

"LOOIK AT IT'S CHEST!!"

'"The Emotion: RAGE rune!!

"Salim has subconsciously branded it onto the Golem, while his technopathy was building it!!!"

WHAT!?

"A Golem with EMOTION!! ONE EMOTION!! PURE RAGE!!!!"

"BUGGER!! IT'S COMING RIGHT FOR US!! WHAT DO WE DO, ALPHA!?"

"The most logical method is to suggest formation "Gamma Theta Foxtrot Omega!!!"

"WHICH FORMATION IS THAT!?!?

"THE ONE WHERE WE GET THE !@#$% OUT OF HERE!!!!"

Baldur's Gate : The Sword Coast Chronicles : NWN2 Persistent World

Salim el-Faddir: Archmage of Anarchy

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Re: Salim el-Faddir: Archmage of Anarchy

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Re: Salim el-Faddir: Archmage of Anarchy

Re: Salim el-Faddir: Archmage of Anarchy

Re: Salim el-Faddir: Archmage of Anarchy

Re: Salim el-Faddir: Archmage of Anarchy

Re: Salim el-Faddir: Archmage of Anarchy

Re: Salim el-Faddir: Archmage of Anarchy

Re: Salim el-Faddir: Archmage of Anarchy

Re: Salim el-Faddir: Archmage of Anarchy

Re: Salim el-Faddir: Archmage of Anarchy

Re: Salim el-Faddir: Archmage of Anarchy