Adral Valanar- Redemption or Destruction

[LordAdmiral]

The blood is always, always dripping from my hands. Part of my mind wants to embrace it, the other half is revolted by it. I remembers what I did, everything that I did, but that one act is burned into my mind as a scar. I know if I let myself go for one second, I will return to the path I was on for a major portion of my life. A path of destruction.


50 odd years ago, I left the woodland realms of my ancestors accompanied by my two brothers Valus and Regal. We left in search of adventure. I, an aspiring young sorcerer, Valus, a ranger, and Regal, a warrior. We traveled the world in hopes of making a name for ourselves, tired of living at home in the forests. We were naive and stupid.

Within the first years of our journeys around the world we learned much. I became a powerful sorcerer, my magic abilities almost unparalleled. My brothers became strong as well. However, I was the youngest of the three, and I wanted to be sure that I was better than my older two brothers...

A man began to travel with us. A man who wasn't all that he seemed. He called himself Niath, and he displayed few talents, but could hold himself together in a fight. However, he began to whisper to me in my dreams. His words seeped like poison into my mind, and I never even realized it. he told me I could be great. That I could become master of the powers at my disposal, and become much greater than my brothers ever would be. Niath corrupted a soul that was already corrupted to begin with. I became blood thirsty. In battle, I would mercilessly shred our opponents with increasingly violent spells. Then one day, Niath disappeared. And along with it, the memory my brothers had of him ever existing.

We got into a heated argument, which soon had weapons drawn. I with my staff in hand, my brothers their bow and sword, we agreed to part ways... which lead me straight towards my doom.

I journeyed to the deepest pits of the world. Began to practice unspeakable magics. I witnessed atrocities no elf should see. I did things no elf should do. All in the name of myself.

For 20 years I never heard from my brothers.

2 years ago, my loyal band of followers (3 drow and an Orc) discovered writings of a powerful arcane nexus of energy sitting atop a peak in the Starspire Mountains. We made our plan to harness that energy to reap untold destruction upon the surrounding lands.

But somehow, someway, my brothers learned of what it was that I planned to do.

Atop the mountain, my brothers confronted me. With only passion fueling me, a torrent of magical energy ensued, blasting a hole in the mountain and sending my companions flying. All 4 of them died instantly, but by some miracle of chance both my brothers continued to stand before me. And even then, I turned on them, sending a missile of magical energy straight through their hearts. But upon the moment of their deaths, something ripped inside of me. It was like my soul was splitting into a million pieces.

One thing saved me. In an instant, I shut my body off to the call of the magical energies. I knelt beside bodies of my two fallen brothers, and wept. For how long, i do not know. Cut off from the entire world and the magical realm as well for the first time in years, I had a new look on life. Everything had been ripped to shreds and written anew. I buried my brothers, right there a top the mountain. I discarded my staff, and vowed never to use a single ounce of magic again. I would never work for my self, but only for others. I would redeem myself.

Or die trying.

Ever lurking in my mind is the fear of what may happen if the magic powers I once had are released again. Following that day, I entered into a monastery. I donned their robes. I took their vows. For one year, I sat in silence in the walls of that building, just listening. I sat in the same room, sleeping in the same room, eating in the same room. Never spoke a word to anyone.

1 year from the day I entered the building, I abruptly stood up, and left.

I could not serve others in a monastery. I could not redeem myself in a monastery. A monastery brought me no relief to the pain.

With that, I took to the road. I hoped that somewhere along the Sword Coast, I would discover my redemption. For if not... if the destruction once again grabbed hold of me...

many would die.

My name is Adral Valanar. I am a monk, though I am with no official chapter. I didn't even know the name of the monastery I was with for the year. I believe it to be of the Old Order.

I seek Wisdom through redemption. Life through sacrifice. Value through dedication. Selflessness over Selfishness.

I seek Forgiveness.

[LordAdmiral]

Last night Drow attacked the camp of the friendly arm inn.

I've been here well over a month now. But that attack brought back memories of my time in the underdark. Made them completely fresh. Remembered the reasons why I am on the path I am on. I used to be just like those Drow, so purely intent on destruction. They didn't even stop to ask for surrender. They just attacked, attacked attacked.

I need to identify the cause of what led me to such a terrible path those years ago. It is the key to truly redeeming myself, I do believe.