~~COLLECTED POETRY (PAST)~~
// These poems correlate with Journal Entries ONE through FIFTY-ONE. I think it more enigmatic to let you all sort out which goes where. Adds to the metaphor and mystery. Enjoy! //
THE LAMENT
All the angels have fallen.
The heavens weep.
All the Devils run rampant.
Bargained souls to keep.
See the Fire in the sky?
Watch the shadows creep.
Lust for power, want for pain?
Greed and agonies run deep.
There is no joy to be found now.
As the sinners now shall reap.
So the world spins to oblivion,
And in death and darkness we shall sleep.
~~
BLEED
Don’t weep for me,
Don’t feel my pain.
Don’t cry for me,
There’s nothing to gain.
I won’t ask for your kindness.
I don’t want your grace.
You walk in blindness
And try to save face.
Is there anything I can say to you
That will get the point across?
Seems like all I say and do
Is a waste of time and total loss.
I get what I want, when I want.
If I want, I’ll ask.
Otherwise, I torment and taunt
In your misery to bask.
I am not here for friends.
Such lies never last.
Sorrow or blood, it usually ends.
So shows the shattered past.
~~
ILLUSION
Cover the truth in careful lies
Until even the truth dies.
Until there is nothing left but something new
Until all that was, we never knew.
Wrap yourself in beautiful deception.
Born again from doubtful conception.
Nothing left of the past at all.
Watch now as the ashes fall.
Standing now, in darkness’ light.
See how easily shadows turn bright?
Veiled in mist and cloaked in pain.
Hidden truths in anger vain.
Awash in lovely destruction.
Existing in chaotic function.
What was known, what used to be,
Is no more, not there to see.
The damage done,
The battle won.
No turning back,
Now right on track.
In a world of unhappy endings,
The truth is lost to careful blendings.
You see me smile,
And all the while,
There is no way for you to see,
What is hidden away from all but She.
Through misty, shaded, deepening chasm.
The truth is something not even I can fathom.
~~
CAT AND MOUSE
You think you own me,
You think you know me.
This game we play,
This game of chance.
It’s all about surviving.
It’s all about the dying.
This game we play,
This game of chance.
To run, sometimes hide,
It isn’t always pride.
This game we play,
This game of chance.
There comes a moment
The truth came and went.
This game we play,
This game of chance.
You didn’t expect,
I don’t regret
This game we play,
This game of chance.
You the hunter, I the pray.
It won’t always be that way.
This game we play,
This game of chance.
Won’t let you bait me.
You won’t break me.
This game we play,
This game of chance.
The tides have turned
You’ve crashed, you’ve burned.
This game we play,
This game of chance.
I guess this means I broke your laws.
You didn’t know the mouse had claws.
In this Game we play,
I took the chance...
~~
AN OATH
Born of blood and trial by fire,
Mine to gain, all I desire.
As the world shall pass away,
Into smoldering ashes, gray...
I shall step through the world new.
A brilliant light burning through...
The pain and sadness left behind.
All the darkness far from mind.
I shall ever carry your flame...
Forever remembered, your dear, sweet name.
~~
CRYPTIC MOONLIGHT
From what heights we may yet fall...
When we chance the stars, to lose it all...
By mist and shadow, truth and lie...
The mystery will live or die...
Who's to say, Come what will...
This game to play, dancing still...
So the stars fell from the sky...
Touch the water, we seek to try...
To pass on a secret before it slides...
Away, to be swallowed by gentle tides...
So people chase reflections, illusions...
The truth gets lost in echoes of confusions...
Who is it now that guards the stars...
With mist and shadow, clouds with lightning scars...
Forever secret, eternally safe away from all harms...
In Cryptic moonlight, resting in an enigma’s arms...
And yet in moonlight we stand alone...
With only star-crossed secrets to call our own...
~~
DREAMS OF FOOLS
To stand still, by silent stream
To pray, hope, to dare to dream
How easy it is to want such things
To ignore the pain that seeking brings
So we drift though life endlessly
Getting lost in all we refused to see
As now we walk where demons tread
We find we pray for angels instead
So our eyes, they slowly open
To hopeless despair yet unspoken
Our prayers, in desperation forth sending
We finally see there's no happy endings
as we sleep nightmares abound
and in waking, no peace is found
Until in death, we at last rest
Only to find forgetting best
~~
SURVIVAL
Be wary now the danger there.
Drop your guard and try to care?
Enemies that watch and wait
Already wondering of your fate
So it goes the heavens fall
Is it worth the risk to lose it all?
Subtle dreams that will not die
Futility, but still we try
Victims of the mortal coil
Best laid plans we will foil
Mind your thoughts and guard your heart
Know all to well where losing will start
Give up the chance, turn away
Survive to stand for one more day.
~~
CONTEMPLATION
We sit in quiet contemplation
the world a gauntlet of temptation
Steady your heart, sturdy your mind
If you don't, its trouble you'll find
Suspecting danger close at hand
Nothing truly ever quite so grand
So the world did turn this day
As we watched defenses fall away
Lost in thought and seeking dreams
Nothing is ever as it seems
So we watch, and still we wait
Wondering now at the marvels of fate
~~
THE WANTING
A man who knows of broken hearts
Seeks to fill the hollow-est parts
Seeking now a love since lost
Wondering more so of the cost
The distance of time and space
Do not quell the longing un-replaced
Mind your words as you watch and wait
Careful lest you should tempt Fate
Sit and watch the flames of ire
Burn unquenched in unspoken desire
~~
DAWNING
See the dawn dance along
Watch the radiance of heavenly song
A beauty like this, there's none
Words to express it, I find not one
So in reverence we admire
That which sets the skies afire
Dreamers waking from their sleep
Behold the day and they do weep
The shadows fade and pass away
Grace and light to rule the day...
~~
MIST AND SHADOW
There is a creature made of lies...
Know her not despite all the tries...
And what is hidden shall remain...
The truth is no one's to contain...
Hidden there behind kindly smile...
The vicious beast lurked all the while...
And while they thought to tame her too...
They found it more than any could do...
And so she danced from place to place...
Leaving questions for them to face...
None could hold or could contain...
None dare tried or risk so much in vain...
~~
SHATTERED HOPES?
A dream can be a dangerous thing...
Bits of the heart taken to wing...
And yet if we choose to let them die...
We will forever ask ourselves why...
And so we wait for the truth to pass by...
Content to hide beneath the lie...
Watcher beware as you stand in silence...
For often the dreamer holds no compliance...
Silent and still as the world falls away...
Find more than dreams are lost this day
~~
~~
FORESHADOWING
A darkness from afar does linger
Tell-tale thunder, the Harbinger
Stories now one day forgotten
Of deeds and needs, greed ill-gotten
Hush, be still, listen closely
For the truth is hidden by lies grossly
None shall see it all so clearly
As those who lose things held dearly
Dreams are shattered like brittle bones
Heavy burdens borne like stones
And so it is the angels weep
For happiness they cannot keep
~~
WHISPERING STARS
Idly the moments pass,
Peaceful through the hourglass.
Take not for granted, this silent pause.
Give it up, not without cause!
Drift beneath the starlight now.
Ask not the dreamers why or how.
Find peace in silence all too grand.
Wonder now at thoughts in hand?
Look to me up in the sky...
I will guide and ask not why.
And if you should so lose your way?
I will lead you into the day.
All your secrets I shall keep,
As softly, you dream, quietly sleep...
And though the sun may outshine,
No light as lovely, ever, as mine!
Dancing between moonbeams fair,
As I shimmer, always there.
Gentle is this promise now,
As you gaze to me and wonder how?
How I could watch but never judge,
As through the shadows you may trudge?
~~
TO DANCE...
Why does the songbird sing
When she'd rather take wing?
Because she is given a voice.
Because she is denied choice.
Why does her heart still grieve and weep
For the angel she was not allowed to keep?
Because some wounds do not mend.
Because some rules can only bend.
Drifting through dreams of moments lost,
Desperately seeking to balance the cost.
Hoping for that one frail moment's chance,
While walking along and learning to dance.
~~
CONTRADICTION
Standing dangerously close to falling in...
Waiting to balance that which seeks to win...
With that which shall consume us all...
As into our deeper desires we shall fall...
Never is it ours to hold, whirling out of control...
But still we search for something less droll...
Beautiful is this deadly game we play...
The chaos we walk through every day...
Some will learn to live and dance...
Some will cling to happenstance...
No one soul can truly see everything...
Until we learn to give thought wing...
Even then, it is all too late we find...
That all our days were wasted blind...
Seek that which is lovely in the moment...
In that brief space find some enjoyment...
Before all that is carnal and dark...
Tears away the last faint spark...
Twisting and turning in endless waves...
Dancing on broken stones another paves...
Clumsy steps made glorious in this...
As we flail forever in ignorant bliss...
Fleeting is this mortal coil...
Buried desires forever boil...
Just beneath the calm surface without...
A churning rage we refuse to let out...
In contradiction we will now walk...
In riddle and rhyme as we all talk...
There are lies and truths and things before...
Grounded now, but someday we will soar...
Even if it is only for a time, then we cry...
Live, before death claims us, we can try...
It is best to burn brightly amid the gale...
To do nothing is to crumble and fail...
Still knowing now its foolish hope held...
Unwilling to give in as flame and star meld...
These random arguments we stubbornly keep...
These dreams we hold and cling to in our sleep...
So it is with deadly, beautiful, chaos...
Nothing so lovely as bitter, truest loss...
~~
STRIFE
An enigma of many a mask
Even as for the truth you ask
Forgive me now for my ire
So fond we are of the fire
To look at the gentle peace
And see nothing but unease
A dance of angry words for fun
Never an idle moment one
What boils beneath what we see
as we wonder at what is there idly
~~
WANDERING DREAMER
I bring word of angels and dreams
Of Demons, nightmares, forgotten things
I wait patiently as the night passes idly away
Seeking something grander as the shadows sway
While the night is young, the moon up in the sky
I sit silently and I wonder why they still even try
Somewhere in darkness, the truth is hidden well
But what the shadows hold, not even I will tell
In stillness now the night moves past
I cannot help but wonder if this will last
Nothing is eternal, this peace so fragile and frail
Subject to the whims of fate, how the heart does wail
For in our dancing through the night
We pray now for morning's light
To burn away the nightmares, haunting
That leave us waiting, watching and wanting
~~
SISTER IN THE MIST
Hidden 'neath the mist, in shadows guarded well
An angel spoke of secrets and of truths to never tell
And there she stood and promised ever still to guide
Even when mortality would yet break her stride
Truths lost or forgotten somewhere along the way
Never forgotten promises made that single day
Should the morning find you well amid your hidden dreams
Do not weep for moments lost, nothing as it seems
Dreams but small illusions to the Lady, given sway
A beacon in the darkness should you find you lose your way
If you find a moment where the heart is full of tears
Leave them to the mist and let it wash away your fears
~~
SISTER IN THE MIST
[The Lament of the Seraphim]
Hidden 'neath the mists, in shadow, guarded well
An angel spoke of secret truths meant for none to tell
And there she stood and promised, ever still to guide
Even when mortality would yet break her mortal stride
Truths lost or forgotten somewhere along the way
Never forgetting promises, made that fateful day
"Should the morning find you well amid your dreams
Do not weep for moments lost, nothing as it seems"
"Dreams are but illusions, to the Lady given sway
A beacon in the darkness, should you ever lose your way
If you find a moment where your heart is full of tears
Leave them to the mists, and let it wash away your fears”
Forgive me dearest sister, if your name I did besmirch
As in haste and vengeful anger, this songbird left her perch
I've spent my days tucked safely, in your shadow's grace
And now without you here, I find I seek a newer place
I know not when I'll find my moment, safe among your stars
For now only seeking to escape cage of less than gilded bars
I do know all to well that the past does seek to tie me down
But will not let them take our dreams, nor ever see me frown
~~
STRIFE
[Revisited]
An enigma of many a mask
As for the truth you still ask
Forgive me now my ill-placed Ire
We have grown so fond of the fire
To look at a gentle peace
To see nothing but unease
A dance of angry words for fun
And idle moment, never is there one
What boils just beneath what we see
We sit and contemplate things idly
We wait for truth to pass us by
For dreams to wither and to die
Hope that pure and fragile thing
Is lost in the fury we now bring
And though we try to out run the past
We find we cannot ever run that fast
~~
RUNNING SCARED
The birds have taken wing
Now they refuse to sing
Free among the clearer skies
Safe away from prying eyes
Not to be bound to any cage
Not to be doomed to cruel stage
Still this whisper of the past
These shadows will not last
Dead and gone the past remains
Though against all reason it strains
Let it the past now fall to ashes gray
That which at last has burned away
~~
MOTHER/FURY
You’ve forsaken any right to kindness from me.
You’re so bound by your own rot you can’t see?
What have you ever done to earn my sorrow?
I was just a pretty face for you to use and borrow.
I think of you and all I can find is hate.
I was a tool for a lust that you didn’t sate.
You were weak and destroyed by addiction.
Now you want my suffering for your affliction?
Have I not suffered enough at your careless hand?
I survived more suffering than you would understand.
Once you may have pulled the strings...
I learned better to see the way of things...
I rose above the filth you’d drown me in.
Wanting to be better was my only sin.
That of course, doesn’t matter to you.
Neither does the pain you put me through.
So now the hells have spit you back?
You’ve put my game on a new track.
You want me to give in, let go, but I refuse.
This is a rotted game to you, and I won’t lose.
I am the Phoenix, I’ve walked through fire
And even now I will withstand your ire.
I am the one you can not contain.
I will not let it all have been in vain.
My every hurt, my pain my tears, I owe to you.
Thank you, mother, my rage to see me through.
~~
CONDEMNED
Doomed now am I,
To live or to die...
To bleed, to suffer...
To burn, to smother...
Don’t cry for me now,
Don’t wonder at how
Things might have once been.
Different, for kinder fate then?
Doomed now am I,
To live or to die...
To bleed, to suffer...
To burn, to smother...
Day in and day out,
I scream and I shout.
Wonder now if it was all for naught,
While I writhe in hatred fraught?
Doomed now am I,
To live or to die...
To bleed, to suffer...
To burn, to smother...
Sorrow forever lost to me.
Blind they refused to see
A moment of clarity in the haze.
Something lovely within the blaze?
Doomed now am I,
To live or to die...
To bleed, to suffer...
To burn, to smother...
So I walk within the flame.
Seek away to win the game.
Is there forgiveness enough for me?
Condemned, am I, to wait and see...
~~
SISTER
Keep me safe in the coming storm
Through death’s chill breath, keep me warm
Stay at my side, here and after
Help me always to find the laughter
Forgive me of my head strong ways
You, my one kindness in darker days
You who keeps me standing through the pain
The ones who teach me to dance again
I offer simple promise now
I cannot say I know just how
But some day I will be free
And carry your friendship, forever with me
~~
DEFIANT CHILD
A dance of words, with partners to spare
I search for the music, but the muse is not there
So it is my quill remains silent
Turbulent thoughts dark and violent
Among them burns a blinding rage
I beat against my fearful cage
From deep within, a renewed strength
Though peace may never be mine at length
There are some fates yet worse than death
I will be free if only in spirit to last breath
~~
SEEKING... AN ILLUSION
Gently whispers, now the wind
Find yourself with those called friend
Such it is that now we wonder
At last these things we ponder
When was truth left to lie
When did dreams at last die
Forgive me sister, for how I tried
To say I found lasting joy, I lied
For as I sit and try to find
No cheery rhymes willed to mind
What I discover as I sit to write
Are harsh words full of hate and spite.
~~
DUALITY
I am the same coin with two faces.
The dancer who walks in two places.
I walk, I burn, I stumble and fall.
I dance and turn above it all.
I am the child, broken hearted,
The dream that died before it started.
I am the woman born anew,
Who will live to see these dreams come true
You try to burn me to the ground,
But I walk along now, safe and sound.
Below, I falter, writhe in pain.
Above, your efforts are in vain.
You may bind me if you try...
But my spirit cannot die...
All that matters, hidden safe enough.
The body weak, when things get rough
Even when you think that by fire, I’m drowned...
I will soar above you, heavens-crowned.
I am the same coin with two faces...
The dancer who soars in two places.
~~
THE STARS WEPT
Tell the lie to everyone else
Until you believe it for yourself
Put the truth out of sight and mind
Hide it away where no one will find
The hurt beneath the hate
The pain you thought could wait
In the end there is only justified means
When the dancer is not as she seems
Where even dreams will fade and crumble
As through the sorrows we each tumble
Belonging to no other soul
Freedom is the only goal
Friendships shattered, forsaken over all
All that matters is the rise, not the fall
The phoenix may stand alone
While she stands freely on her own.
Someday with ash beneath her feet
The bitter victory will be sweet
Maybe then they can start to try to forgive
What she took from them so she could live
Maybe someday she will sing again
Maybe they can understand then
Of all the things that seek to bind me
It is ever the dawn that will find me
Always the horizon to welcome me then
As my tears to the sea, are lost within
~~
A LONGING
If I stopped to count the stars
The steps to take from iron bars
Give me but one moonlit dream
Where fear did not tear away a scream
In still shadow, a moment of rest
Mind wanders to the kinder moments at best
Silence is golden, or so they say
But what truly matters at the end of the day
Is the peace in the heart, the calm of the mind
A gift that two few will not live to find
And yet it is something that all will seek
No matter how much the outlook is bleak
~~
SOUL SEARCHING
Who am I really, do you even know?
When will the past just let me go?
Dancing through the chaos, truth unknown.
I am the one they sought to forever own.
I am the dagger in their backs.
I am the courage that often lacks.
What does it matter what came before?
Spare a second glance for a murdering (germbag)?
Pay no mind to the tears or the blood.
I wasn’t the one who caused the flood.
I was the one never given a choice.
I am every sorrow given a voice.
Is it so wrong, the freedom I seek?
Should I deny my heart the right to speak?
I could look back, and hold little regret.
I can move on, but I cannot forget.
I was left broken, battered and bruised.
But I hold a dream that will not be refused.
What next, now where should I run?
Is there much point in it until done is done?
I will be the one that blood and fire sets free.
I will learn to be more than they wanted me to be.
I will not let this dream go un-chased.
I will not leave these fears un-faced.
Who am I really, do I even know?
What will I do when the past lets me go?
~~
GUARDIAN
Daylight fades, and the night takes hold
Only our promise to chase away the cold
Do you dance still, between the moonbeams?
Is even your very death not as it seems?
How I wonder, now my sister dear
If it is losing the stars, or waking I fear?
Do I truly walk alone?
Truly ever on my own?
Or do you still yet guard my heart
As always you did, from the start?
~~
TO THE BITTER END
Rushing headlong into death
Chancing all for that last breath
Friendships are forged at the edge of a knife
It is often at the very end, we value life
Still we run this blinding gambit
Taking what's offered, and all we can get
Perhaps to worry less for lack of happy ending
Instead treasuring each bitter-sweet beginning
When at last, they look to me and judge
They will see a lost soul, who did not budge
A promise made is a promise kept
When I pass, may none have wept
~~
THE BATTLE
There we stood, toe to toe
Unwilling to let the victory go
Many a battle, some harsh, we’ve come far
Still much to do before we’ve won the war
It was easier to say, then over now
Who was on whose side, the why and how
Blood and tears have since blurred the line
Betwixt friend and foe, and maybe that’s fine
Somehow the victory, I had lost track
Blood in the water now, no turning back
Chipped away at defenses carefully in place
Now I stand amid rubble, and the smile on your face
We have no choice now, but to wait and to see
What fate has in store for the Dreamer, the battle... and me
~~
MEMORY
Quiet moment in the coming of dawn
Stars' last show before the moment's gone
Moonlight like tears that slowly fall
Before the morning seeks to wash over all
Between moonbeams, a secret kept
In the stars she gently slept
Be still in fading quiet night
Don't forget the stars, in morning's light
Do not forget the whole promise made
Refuse to let the precious memory fade
While it is the dawn that shall seek me out
The peaceful night will always come about
If I listen close, my heart hears your laughter
And I remember well, sister, ‘Forever After’
~~
STILLNESS
Stars touch the sky
Sparkle one by one
Softly night's sigh
The day is done
Peace in the heart
Not a moment too soon
We all play our part
In a dance 'neath the moon
A glimmer of a dream
A brief moment's pause
Nothing as it may seem
And none dare ask the cause.
~~
SLEEPWALKER
Between the moonbeams, The Lady's smile
Star-touched shadow, an angel's guile
What is and was, and may well be
Is hidden plainly for us to see
Shadows shifting like sifting sand
Bits of illusion in the palm of the hand
Starlight whisper, shifting dream
Nothing is quite what it may seem
A silent moment to reflect
On thoughts the day let us neglect
~~
FIRE STORM
There is a rage, a fury unquenched.
The bitter and broken, fists clenched.
A smile is the calm before the storm.
The barely hidden anger given form.
Struggling now to, breathe...
Hatred, deep as blood, does seethe.
It only takes one single spark...
An ember among ash, barren, stark.
Let me go, or let me burn!
You had your chance, now for my turn.
Let me live, or let me burn!
I’ll not be denied that for which I yearn.
Let me die, or let me burn!
Forever to rise again, as the ash I spurn.
Now there’s nothing stopping this.
Too late to seek a moment of bliss.
So much then, that went unspoken,
Left us bruised, tortured and broken.
Bleed that I won’t make a sound.
Unwilling to surrender ground.
Boil the tears upon my face,
Leaving bitter ash in their place.
Let me go, or let me burn!
You had your chance, now for my turn.
Let me live, or let me burn!
I’ll not be denied that for which I yearn.
Let me die, or let me burn!
Forever to rise again, as the ash I spurn.
There is no sign this will relent.
We are not given the time to repent.
Endlessly the soul does burn.
Writhing in morbid dance, each in turn...
When does the vicious cycle break?
Tell me now what it will take!
Every vile thing done to appease...
Is never enough for the fires to ease.
Let me go, or let me burn!
You had your chance, now for my turn.
Let me live, or let me burn!
I’ll not be denied that for which I yearn.
Let me die, or let me burn!
Forever to rise again, as the ash I spurn.
Twisting and turning, I watch and wait.
Screaming, praying, as I suffocate.
There will come a day of Face to Face
Retribution’s swift at a deadly pace.
I am the one of fire, and of your blood
Did you really think to burn down the flood?
You can no longer bind what you did not love!
I am the Crimson Phoenix, and will rise above.
Let me go, or let me burn!
You had your chance, now for my turn.
Let me live, or let me burn!
I’ll not be denied that for which I yearn.
Let me die, or let me burn!
Forever to rise again, as the ash I spurn.
You who were always given the choice,
Dare to judge that from which you denied voice?
If you wanted more than this firestorm,
Why was I only given your scorn?
It was your treachery to bear!
It was who didn’t try to care!
You who always left me forever denied!
You who was blind to all I ever tried!
Let me go, or let me burn!
You had your chance, now for my turn.
Let me live, or let me burn!
I’ll not be denied that for which I yearn.
Let me die, or let me burn!
Forever to rise again, as the ash I spurn.
It is you who says it is ‘Too Late!’
You who taught me well, to hate.
For every answer you would refuse,
For every part of me you would use,
I’ll no longer let you deny
Every tear you bid me cry.
Freedom is mine for me to take.
I am no longer yours to break.
Let me go, or let me burn!
You had your chance, now for my turn.
Let me live, or let me burn!
I’ll not be denied that for which I yearn.
Let me die, or let me burn!
Forever to rise again, as the ash I spurn.
~~
FORESHADOWING
[The veiled threat]
A darkens from afar does linger
Tell-tale thunder, the Harbinger
Stories now, one day, forgotten
Of deeds and needs, greeds ill-gotten
Hush, be still, listen closely
For the truth his hidden by lies, most grossly
None shall see it all so clearly
As those who lose what is held dearly
Dreams are shattered like brittle bones
Heavy burdens carried like stones
And so it is the angels weep
For unsoiled joy they cannot keep
Careful wanderer where you tread
For you march across the souls of the dead
Look now at these lost and lonely
See them made bitter in anger, if only
To find peace in some cold, bitter end
Heavens-ward, sinners' prayers to send
And so it is, lines drawn in sand
Dare you cross to raise a hand
Do you care to give a moment of thought
For the freedom that they hoped we forgot
Of all the things that seek to bind
No prison greater than the mind
~~
FOR THE FALLEN
Weep not for those who pass away
Dear to hearts, not even death can sway
A cheerful memory is a precious gift
In the darkest moment, it’s a bit of lift
Death is but only a passing thing
It is how life passed that makes the heart sing
Wanderer, Wishing on a star
A secret kept safe from afar
Betwixt the moonbeams, the guardians rest
Through life, and time, to stand the test
Safe and sound in night's deep shadow
There is no pain now that could lay them low
And while we walk our silent way
We find the dreamers there to stay
And though in dawn they will be hidden
To forget or relinquish simple joy, forbidden.
~~
UNCERTAIN GROUND
Mist and shadows
Truth and lies
As the wind blows
Who stands and who dies
Now you are chancing stars
Flimsy hope for something more
Wounded dove, battle scars
You've seen the way it works before
Whose blade at your back
Who do you trust
To keep you on track
As needs often must
~~
THE DREAMER’S NIGHTMARE
What to do now as I watch the game change
I find myself hoping for something strange
This was once a dance I well knew
Then things changed and complexity grew
Now I wonder what you dream
Is it really so bad as it may seem
I am left with questions, a lack of understanding
I feel like I this narrow ledge on which I’m standing
Oversees a chasm, deep unknown
Hidden in a veil of darkness a mystery its own
I cling stubbornly to the wall
I fear to let go lest I fall
Part of me wonders what waits below
Part of me too scared to dare to let go
See all the trouble that you have left in your wake
As all my expectations and rules you now break
I am standing here afraid and confused
Praying quietly that this trust is not abused
This is one dance I don’t know the steps to
A moment of indecisions, unsure what to do
So I guess I will wait and see
If this Nightmare’s dream is meant to be
~~
AMID THE SHADOWS OF BEASTS
Cling too tightly to fragile things
Learn the pain the shattering brings
Instead, to temper caution with care
To watch and wait, and to prepare
Silently, here, the hours passed
Wondering if the peace would last
Content to hold on to each joy
Tomorrow may bring some sinister ploy
Sit still, just listen, is it laughter I hear
When among good friends we've nothing to fear
For those who seek to do us ill
Stand no match against strong will
And what is better to face a foe
Than most loyal of friends you know
~~
BLESSED NIGHT
The Stars they whisper quietly
Of things that may or may not be
Amid the night, hidden well
A gentle secret yet to tell
Wrap yourself in night's deep cloak
As the mist, She wistfully spoke
Find you well, less truth than lie
To unravel the mystery, dare you try
Watch closely in the star-filled night
And find a peace not born of spite
Heavy hangs the air so still
Blessings in the foggy chill
As we sit here all the while
Basking in The Lady's smile
Shrouded in mist, shadow and lies
No one will see how the phoenix cries
Caught in a place between joy and sorrow
Knowing the illusion will pass on the morrow
Silent now, is an unheard prayer
Look to the skies and wonder what is there
Wreathed in a song, the heart dare not tell
A kindness in silence, fits all too well
A whisper, a thought, another wall crumbles
Battle lines drawn, the Dreamer never stumbles
Softly the night will forever have remembered
The moment when even anger is tempered
~~
FALLING INTO STARS
When the sun falls from the sky
A smile in the stars held high
The breeze carries her words for an age
Words falling from the quill to the page
Thoughts aflame with the bitter past
Finding that even anger can't last
When the shadows shift and sway
Peace is found at the edge of the day
A laughter dances from star to star
A nightmare's dream does travel far
Does she smile, the Dreamer would ask
Perhaps she does for he has eased her task
Perhaps there is more to discover
More beneath the mask to uncover
Some questions’ answers take time
Some words need more than rhyme
Perhaps we have to wait and see
What is to come from things that be
~~
FALLING INTO AN ECLIPSE
When the sun falls from the sky
A smile in the stars held high
The breeze whispers for an age
Words falling from the quill to the page
When the shadows shift and sway
Peace is found at the edge of the day
A moment of mystery in the night
That which is brilliant, a fleeting sight
The hand of the Lady to cover over all
From illusion and shadow, the mist to fall
We watched in silence as the night danced
A trick of the light kept us all entranced
A laughter dances from star to star
A poet's dream does travel far
Perhaps there is more to discover
Beneath the mask, more to uncover
Some questions' answers take time
Some words need more than rhyme
Perhaps we have to wait and see
What is to come from things that be
What secrets does the night yet hold
Hidden behind the dawn, secret untold
~~
STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS
Glittering gems, shining bright
Hidden truths in bits of light
Watch closely, this illusion now
Many there, and I marvel how
So much beauty, simply done
And I wish to safeguard every one
For if they are prey secrets they hold
Those who mean ill would be so bold
Deny the beauty, like morning sun
To covet and keep them, illusion undone
They are guarded close, and held dear
Guardians betwixt moonbeams ill-hearts fear
Beauty held in a pin point, no more
A mass of small echoes unheard before
Even the stars will change places
Even the heavens will change faces
Names will shift within the dance
Masks will fade with each new chance
Illusions fall like shifting sand
Perhaps only a change of hand
And thus, the dawn does fast approach
Upon the realm of the stars to encroach
Starlight now carefully masked
Daylight pauses questions asked
Of the moonlight, now unseen
Now to wonder what dreams had been
~~
MADNESS
All the world's gone to the hells
Hark and listen to the death knells
Sanity lost to a deepening hole
Pray for something to save a lost soul
No better now, than to tempt fate
And now we sit and wait
What is to come of things that were
I shall watch it, for I am unsure
How the gambit will unfold
And in what secrets are yet untold
~~
UNRELENTING
I may burn and I may bleed
Twist and turn but will succeed
Though the flame will seek to claim me
It shall not do more than remake me
I may burn and I may bleed
Twist and turn but will succeed
Wounded now, with broken wing
I will arise, ever still, to sing
I may burn and I may bleed
Twist and turn but will succeed
In the end of all things, I will be free
And rise above the flames you see
I will burn and I will bleed
I'll twist and turn but will succeed
~~
BETWEEN HORIZONS
Gentle is the moonlit night
Waltzing stars in dancing light
All the sorrows gone away
Until dawn blossoms into new day
What lay hidden in silent mind
Perhaps a moment, truth entwined
And all the stars fell from the sky
Silent in dawn's burning eye
A refuge in the sea they've taken
A secret held in reflection, unforsaken
Swiftly the dreams of the night have past
The dance between horizons done at last
~~
IN SLEEP
'Pity!' says I, to the coming dawn
'The mystery lost, the stars now gone.'
But even in the light, what do I see there?
Chance a look to see the enigma now laid bare?
And the night does mourn woeful
For the dreams of dreamers so full
Are lost now to them, beyond a veil
Out of reach, they know it all too well
For shifting between shadows, something hidden waits
For the night to turn again, and shroud the dreamers' fates
The sounds of the day shall be traded once again
For the voices in the night that they sleep uneasily in
'Whisper!' said the stars
'Of broken dreams, shattered hearts.'
'Listen!' said the moon
'Songs of pain that must end soon.'
If the dreamers are silent, if they are but still
Nightmares too, will pass and of joys, gain their fill
~~
THE NIGHT THE STARS FELL
West to east, in the night, the stars did fall
Wonder, did I, at the reason for it all
Falling star, whispering dream, look to all who sees
Echoes of illusion as the stars reach for the seas
They fall with fire and fade away fast
What does it mean, and will it last
What stirred them from their place in the sky
What mystery is hidden from my eye
A promise given to the stars
A moment held within our hearts
The road is long, the journey too
And yet I find a smile for you
Though the fires may still burn
Ever on the world may turn
A promise given, illusion kept
An echo passes and none have wept
A nightmare twisted in a thought
A dream clung to, I've not forgot
Every word that once was shared
Never left my heart unprepared
For when the shadows pass away
The stars have fallen into the day
There will be time to stop and smile
The world wanders on all the while
We halt the hatred when we can
But we know too well not all in hand
And still we seek, watch and wait
For hopes renewed, none too late
For that moment's peace and no regrets
A dream is an illusion no one forgets
My heart was his the night the stars fell
If it is to remain, only time shall yet tell
In fleeting illusions, my solace is found
Somewhere in the distance comes the sound
Raging battle and untamed storms
Mystery and danger taking many forms
The theme to this muse still does remain
Do your best, live, love and dance again
~~
WAITING
Whisper moonlight, to the heart
Conceal the mystery from the start
Hidden nightmare, in a dream
Finding nothing as it may seam
Shadows shifting, night's silent kiss
Misty, starlit lies offer seeming bliss
Echoes reaching from afar
Dare to dream upon a star
Hope for something silent there
Watch and wait, and then prepare
For some day soon the peace will break
In fire and wrath, naught but destruction in the wake
~~
GILDED CAGES
Bind my hands and bind my feet
I'll still refuse this bitter defeat
I'll twist and turn, and even bleed
And still find the means to be freed
A promised cage of silk and blood
Will be lost in anger's flood
Never again held, not yours to own
I will rise above the constant drone
Of bitter words you hand to me
Defiant I stand and you will see
The phoenix that you thought to burn
Seems to me you should somehow learn
Some will break and some will bend
But it is the Phoenix to rise in the end
And when I step away from this
It is your cries I will not miss
~~
SWAN SONG
Idle moonlit hours pass
Tears that fall like broken glass
Twist and burn, cutting deep
Lay bare secrets best to keep
The dying dream that drifts away
What next to come, who can say
In the stillness something stirs
The line of truth, now it blurs
And what remains when all is lost
Is bitter ashes to tell the cost
Hidden in heart, the vigil kept
None to know the tears once wept
~~
THE BITTER SILENCE
The endless silence, bitter and choking.
The watching and waiting, the endless provoking.
The madness that finds me and binds me here
I rage and I scream against all this fear
I won’t succumb to a will not my own
As on and on this bitter silence does drone
The quiet, is deafening, this void stretches on
What is yet to come when it is at last gone
~~
IN SHADOW
I know you lurk there beyond my eye
I see you not, though I might try
I hear your whispers arrogant and crass
But all your promises shall not come to pass
For while you wait in shadow for your time to come
You do not realize this battle already done
For I am not yours to have or contain
I refuse to be yours ever again
~~
AT THE CORE
An unguarded moment, a slip of the tongue
A whisper and a dream of a song unsung
A prayer and a hope upon which to tread
A chance for something better instead
A smile did dance where the sorrows did grace
A glimmer of truth shone through in that place
A promise unspoken and a moment unfulfilled
A life dared to dream at which the heart thrilled
A moment of fear that was quickly turned away
A perfect joy at the core of this imperfect day
~~
NAKED
Naked, wounded, bleeding, broken
Standing bare with the heart open
Wounded dove with weeping soul
Blinding fear you can't console
Eptied now of careful lies
Battling agianst hopeless cries
Finding now there is nothing left
To hide behind, standing bereft
Praying now, Shadow hide me
Reaching down your hand to guide me
Waiting now metaphors forgotten
Lessons of the past were sought then
Still the answers did escape
This fragile soul was left agape
Standing here few hurts unspoken
Naked, wounded, bleeding, broken
~~
A COPPER FOR YOUR THOUGHTS
To speak no truth and tell no lies
A dance, a word, and illusion never dies
It shifts and twists, ever to change
A ceaseless dance, forever is strange
In whisper and shadow, in silence's deep well
It hides all that was, will be, or is to tell
For in a world of truth and lies
It is the hope that never dies
But what is it that lends us hope's dear light?
Is it love, is it faith, or something from out of sight?
A whisper of truth amid a raging lie
Thread of a lie, and friendship can die
Are we fools trapped in some endless cage?
Brilliant dancers to set the muse's stage?
Do we chance the illusion for a single moment of bliss?
Hang hopes on the stars, this chance, not to miss.
~~
WANDERER
(For Fang)
Wizened, dreamer, to wander from star to star
Hold to hope and heart, where ever you are.
When you chance to look between the moonbeams
Wonder, wide-eyed at all which the dance seems
When you reach the journey's end
Treasure each day you had to spend
For when this song is finally at a close
Gather the stars and treasure all of those
That you had to light the path in the night
Memories left behind in hearts shining bright
~~
A STILL SLEEPLESS NIGHT
While all the world, in darkness does sleep
While the shadow roil and the dreamers weep
Demons lurk beyond the walls
While angels roam the hallowed halls
I gaze up to the endless sky
Spot the stars and wonder why
I sit here in idle time and space
Not letting heart be betrayed by face
And should I find that still I dream
All for naught, not what it may seem
Do I wake to nightmares instead
And find in waking all I dread
Or is something hidden, among the quiet and still
Is there hope for a heart that can no longer thrill
Do shadows pass shifting shades of gray
As hellfires burn and the world falls away
Take a silent moment's peace to reflect
Did you live well and love without regret
For some day this mortal coil will pass
No more sand through the hourglass
Be still my heart and worry not
For the joy of the illusion so long sought
Will pass through time and leave no trace
Holding only the truth and will erase
All that was of blood and fire, of gilded cage
Leaving nothing but the Phoenix without rage
~~
QUESTIONING HEARTS
What does it mean to hate?
is it a coiled viper, laying in wait?
Indignant pain, righteous anger to flail?
Ceaseless emotion in an unchecked gale?
The result of something that goes unnamed?
Or the product of mistruth enflamed?
I wonder if it is something mistaken?
A tool often used when all else forsaken?
A means to hide or somehow protect...
Something unspoken that cries of neglect?
Perhaps in our anger we were to quick to jugde?
Each to our own suffering, unable to budge?
Or is this an illusion sought in the cold...
For a hope neither soul would dare to hold?
~~
PASSING REFLECTIONS OVER BROKEN GLASS
I sit amid these dusty tomes
A restless aching in my bones
A nervous sparrow in a cage
Hiding from inner demons' rage
Dancing 'neath the hope from star to star
Wondering why I ever dared to reach that far
To the Hells with love or gods-be-damned fate
Freedom! Cries the heart; the rest must wait
I look first to the past and bitter bile
Then to the future of wonder and guile
Here now I sit, the answers to seek
Silent, the pages that refuse to speak
Locked in deadly dance twixt mouse and cat
The world gorges on miseries and grows fat
Once the shadows shifted clearer
Once the truth it drifted nearer
And I the fool, the illusion embraced
Truth the grandest illusion defaced
A pretty lie too swiftly believed
A convenience soon to be grieved
What once I was, I should rise above
Was the harlot a fool to believe in love?
How easy it is to fall into a convenient lie
To be content with this and not ask why
I've taken the time to peer between lines of text
I've stepped back and looked at what comes next
Too soon it is to cage such an uncertain heart
Trade one cage for another as is done from the start
Fool I was then, but now I see
I shall wait and watch what is to be
Something lurks in mist and shadow
Raise your voice in defiant bellow
Step back and see it in new light
Seek first the paths to set it right
Surrender fleeting life on the edge of a blade
Reach for the freedom once I was forbade
Yet again the Crimson Phoenix burns
Forever a cycle by which she learns
In each moment from ashes anew
Grace in mystery like kiss of morning dew
Mistruth and shadow forever my shelter
The masks once worn now helter-skelter
Transcend the old and the new embraced
As the mist swirls the mystery replaced
The answer do not lie in words alone
But in the place the soul calls home
Self made hells and prisons fail
Enemies to fall to stubborn gale
Think you know well what is seen
The truth something none may glean
I am comforted, hidden on the proverbial stage
As the reality is lost on a metaphoric page
~~
A CASTLE ON THE SAND
This diversion has been grand
Better perhaps than was planned
But even dreamers have to wake
Sometimes for their better sake
Even you would have to see
Happy ever after isn't meant to be
Castles built of ever shifting sand
Fall through the hourglass, and the hand
What was yours to have is yours to take
Perhaps there are more hearts to break
I hope you didn't walk this blindly
Safe to say that you should kindly
Take what's left of the pieces heart
Go your way, from here do depart
You sought to keep a heart restless
Go with memories to leave you breathless
Your efforts, though have been in vain
This phoenix is not yours to tame
Walk away as the tide rolls in
Smile on the game and remember when
Two lives in contrast very stark
A fire burned from an amused spark
My own wild nature I need not defend
My dear dreamer let this be the end
~~
SILENT PRISONER
Choking on the silence...
Is the world crashing down?
In a storm of violence
Still, in darkness I drown?
Can you save the forsaken?
See through jaded eyes?
Do we regain what was taken?
Is it all a bunch of lies?
The walls are closing in now
Bloody fists on barred doors.
To illusions we will bow.
Placing hopes on crumbling floors.
Stumble through the doubt...
And swallow back more fear
Searching for the way out.
No saving grace is near...
Shadowed demons loom all around,
Unwilling to die or let go...
Screaming, faceless, without a sound...
Trapped in a nightmare none will know.
~~
THE ART OF ILLUSION
Nothing is ever as it seems.
Truth is cloaked in lies...
Threads unraveling from reams...
Shadows closing in now...
Death in the darkness teems...
Hide the pain and fear
Nothing is ever as it seems.
Dizzy little dancer...
On your silken thread of dreams...
Dangled o'er nightmares...
Fall, with none to hear your screams...
Think you are beyond such...
Nothing is ever as it seems.
~~
THE PHOENIX'S LULLABY
Firefy, Firefly, wishing on a star...
Tell me please what makes you think you could dream that far.
Sparrow, sparrow, sleeping in the tree...
When you wake with dawn's sweet light, sing your dreams to me?
Wise owl, wise owl, watching over these...
Please whisper all your wisdoms to me, falling through the trees?
Mourning dove, Sweet mourning dove...
Tell me why you sigh...
Is it perhaps because of tears the weeping willows cry?
Weeping willow, weeping willow tell me why you cry...
Is it for the stars you see, forever reach, you try?
Starlight, starlight, falling through the night...
You dance upon the water, pity for the willow's plight?
Silver moon, Silver moon, watching overhead...
Guard the night and guard my dreams as I lay in my bed?
Nightime sweet night...
Do pass gently now...
And let the brilliant morning come to rest upon my brow?
~~
A PLATINUM REFLECTION
Stand me on a broken heart...
Let me reach the stars...
Teach me how to play the part...
Smooth the scattered scars...
A hesitating, fleeting dream...
That somehow is held dear...
Though I thrash and still I scream...
I find less now to fear...
Nightmares rampant in the dark...
The worst of which is me...
Hope it burns from just a spark...
Here I stand, wounded dove...
The Phoenix of blood and fire...
Forgiveness falls not from above...
But from internal desire...
And if I seek to rise again...
First I must make peace...
With all that was the past’s pain...
Fan the flames into release...
~~
IMMORTAL
When the flames again will rise
To smother out the phoenix's cries
I writhe amid the flames that burn
But this is not the end in turn
Instead from ashes cold and gray
The Phoenix rises anew each day
I do not fear the beginning's end
For it too shall pass and begin again
I dream of the moment when all that I see
Is the something new which all may be
This pain and fear are fleeting torments
From the ashes, Joy replaces my laments
Ashes cold and gray, from this I shall arise
From scarred to beautiful before your eyes
Death awaits in the flames that burn
And again, this is not the end in turn
The body wilts, the form to decay
But the spirit never fades away
~~
SELFISH
You say there is something to save in me
And I can’t say the same of you?
You tell me I shouldn’t run away from this
And I can’t say the same of you?
You insist on helping ease my pain
And I can’t do the same for you?
You would give up a lot for my sake
And I can’t do the same for you?
Now you ask me to turn from your suffering
When it wasn’t something you could do?
You stand and ask me not to care for your loss
When it wasn’t something you could do?
You ask me to not stop you from walking away
If our fates were reversed, wouldn't you?
You ask me not to mourn in your passing
If our fates were reversed, wouldn't you?
Selfish is the martyr who asks me to turn away
If I asked the same, could you?
Selfish am I to to hold on and not let you go
But if I asked the same... could you?
~~
SAVE YOURSELVES
Into my madness, down into it I wept...
Into my nightmares, when rarely I slept...
The abyss waits for me at the gates...
Fool was I to have chanced the fates...
Right or wrong, matters little to the condemned...
My sins or yours, truth matters little in the end...
Into darkness and flame with no escape in sight...
The Phoenix is dragged down, cannot take flight...
Brave souls offer reprieve and find only death...
I’ll turn you away with my very last breath...
I may not be saved from this torment...
But my end needn’t be your lament...
Let go and turn away before it’s too late...
Don’t let the fires of my Hells be your fate...
~~
LAMENT TO WAR
On the left side is redemption...
Damnation to the right...
I stand on the blades edge...
In the darkness of the night...
I the humble seeker...
Reaching to the light...
Give my heart my soul...
My blood to end The Fearsome plight...
And should I fall, I did not fail
Because I did not stand alone...
A dance between death and life...
The Song has taken flight...
On the left side is redemption...
Damnation to the right...
I stand on the blades edge...
In the darkness of the night...
~~
TO WISH UPON A STAR
Once upon a fairy tale...
I wished upon a star so pale...
Between the moonbeams you may wait...
Forever guarding as I rush to my fate...
Oft remembered, forever dear...
Your words as I seek 'Ever After' here...
Wonder, I at endings unwritten...
Enraptured by the idea smitten...
This to you, my promise made...
May the music forever never fade...
~~
THE MOON AND THE DOVE
Though he loved the dove so dearly
Did the Moon understand how clearly
To keep her in a lofty cage
would wear her spirit thin with age
To be so loved, was she truly
To be set free and return Duly
Loved was he that he did see
Always to return was she
Love in turn is give and take
Cage the soul, the heart may break
Free to fly, figurative birds
Light and love no truer words
Under moonlight's watchful gaze
She flourishes, her soul ablaze
For this she loves him ever more
That he did let her spirit soar
Should she find herself some shadowed place
She need only seek his loving embrace
There he'd burn the shadows away
And what she would give is hers to pay
But he wished to spare her pain
Tried to cage her up in vain
For them to love with gentle hearts
Each must learn respective parts
Love is to be both of take and of give
In compromise, two hearts learn to live
This is the tale of the Moon and Dove
This is the tale of the truest love
~~
LAMENTATIONS AND RESOLUTIONS
A hope, a prayer, given to the stars, is where it starts.
Forever safe beyond reach from all but wishing hearts
Secrets hidden from all but the heavens who weep
Secrets hidden forever, the heavens' yet to keep
A lamentation for the lost who are never found
A prayer for those who pass without a sound
Silence, is perhaps more terrifying than even love
The Silence, I fear would halt the music up above
For so long as there is music, my heart forever knows
The Lady dances, Serahpim guards, the Phoenix never bows
~~
A MOMENT IN TIME
A moment is all I need to fly away
A moment of indecision, nearly the end
A moment granted to begin again
A moment of truth hidden in a lie
A moment of joy stolen away
A moment of weakness that will pass
A moment of pain to simply outlast
A moment of sorrow for things lost
A moment of remembrance to hold it dear
A moment of strength to withstand flame
A moment of fear that I'll burn away
A moment of peace as I understand
A moment undying, to not give in
A moment of anguish as the flames rise
A moment of acceptance as I wait for the ashes
A moment of victory small as it may be
A moment of perfection when things are made new
A moment so small it is nearly missed
A moment of kindness eases a broken spirit
A moment of patience as I wait the storm to pass
A moment of hope to light the way
A moment it took to turn the tide
A moment still to turn it back
A moment taken to wait and see
A moment is all it took to decide to stay
~~