To fight, or be forgotten: The Journal of Laisren Ua Tiernan

[Maverick 40]

Chapter 1: In the Beginning.....Reverie.

In these days leading to war, I often find myself lost in thought. I know not why, but it seems the only way I might reconcile all that I witness. My thoughts often wander back to him, the one whom brought me here, and the one to whom I owe my very existence….

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"CONCENTRATE", he yelled. I fought desperately to hold back the very water demon he brought forth to molest me. The creature stood as a giant wave, a full head above me, crashing upon the elemental shield I fought feverishly to maintain. It reached its tentacle like arms forth, trying to penetrate the shield and with each blow I grew weaker. Fear, as much as courage, maintained me. It stood there before me, its sole purpose meant to snuff out my very breath.

He paced calmly a full ten paces behind the creature; one arm folded across his chest the other rubbing his chin compulsively. The heat from the shield began to become unbearable. I thought to attack the great monster, but began to lose my concentration as it ceaselessly attacked. “I did not take you in just to watch you die, FIGHT!”, he implored me. “This creature is nothing compared to what you will face”, his voice drenched in a disappointingly dry tone.

I did not know him then, but I held the greatest contempt for him at that moment. He, whom slayed all of my mates in the forest outside the city Neverwinter, now stood before me at what seemed the moment of my own demise. Since taking me in, his sole aim has been to drive me to my limits, through a series of battering and bruising tests. I hated him, even plotted his fall should the right moment arise but his own defenses, both magical, and martial had seemed flawless.

Then he said that which would push me beyond the pale, “Perhaps your father should have killed you, rather than leave you behind, since that is all you seem deemed for”. My rage grew suddenly into an inferno, I no longer feared for my life but thought only of retribution. It seemed as involuntary as breathing I let forth an incantation of scorching fire, not directed at the monster, but at the one whom spoke his disdain of me. I watched as the fire hit him as a wave crashing upon a beach, but then it was I who feel the wrath of tides.

The creature seeing my sudden weakness fell upon me, and my shield faltered. It slammed me to the ground, pinning me as I struggled to find air. I flailed desperately, losing all composure as I tried once more to breathe and engulfed only water. My thoughts began to slow and my motions slow when suddenly it was gone, replaced by only a shadow I could not even comprehend. I began to breathe precious, reviving air again, when a hand grabbed my shirt collar lifting me up with a swiftness and strength. I felt the heat and smoke emitting off of the being that held me aloft, then a fist smashed down……

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“Remember Laisren, you come from a proud people”, she said as she cradled me in her arms. “The elves of the Moonshae are a beautiful and goodly people, you will see one day”, she was trying to rock me to sleep. I was a mere child then, but even then I knew something was wrong with the world around me. She did well to hide her tears, but they found their way past her cheeks to rain down upon me, and although she tucked my head, I could still see the blood that had run down her face from her nose. I was confused and scared, but her touch was so very comforting that I almost forgot it all. Then the door swung open and there he stood..……

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“Ah, you are awake”, he said as my eyes flickered open to see a shadowy figure sitting before a fire. We were in a cabin somewhere I could tell. I lay motionless upon a straw bed that id nothing to abate the feeling of the dirt floor beneath it. My body ached and I could hardly move after the ordeal with the water demon, but there he sat, as if all were right with the world. “That was foolhardy of you to attempt”, he said emphatically to impress the point that my survival rested purely in his hands.

“I will tell you this Laisren”, he began to say, “Our people’s time on this plane is near an end. Most of our kin refuse to see this, and would pass from this world before offering a fight. You possess courage Laisren, enough that I would permit you to live, but in the days to come all that I put you through will not prepare you ………”

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“Laisren, Laisren you must wake”, I am awakened by the voice of Saline Led'went. “The Amnians are on the move and look to push through the valley”, she looks at me with large hazel eyes, as if trying to read my thoughts. Her eyes, so much like my mother’s, offer me comfort and I rise with the help of her hand. “So, it has begun”, I say. “Gods help us all”, I mumble while running down the path after her and into the unknown….....

[Maverick 40]

CHAPTER 2: The Unknown

His day was over, elves had been trained and hunting completed. The nightly ritual of Moonshae at the Jest had finally numbed his thoughts and he lay down in his tent alone. As Reverie began to over take him, he thought of her…….

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“O’SI!!!, O’SI!!!’, the boy sitting on the dirt floor beside the bed cried out. She lay there motionless on the bed, her twitching had finally stopped, her time on this plane had ended.

Not again, these anguished thoughts rung within his mind as he stood within the room watching his worst nightmare.

The boys father now stood up from the end of the bed, his trembling hands were covered in blood and holding something. It began to scream, but the boy paid no attention as he wrapped the half-elven woman in the tightest embrace he could muster and continued to cry for his mother. His father stood there staring at the infant, then suddenly awoke from his trance looking up to his deceased wife and back down to his new born child.

Taking a knife from his belt he cut the umbilical cord and walked over to the boy, his hands still trembling terribly. He pulled the boy back with one arm and with the other placed the baby within his arms. Slowly he moved the boy to the corner of the dirty room and sat the boy down as he continued to stare at his mother, tears streaming down his face.

Laisren stopped crying and looked down at his sister and then up to his father in confusion. He wanted answers but he could see there were none in this handsome elf’s face, who simply stared back at him. Laisren’s father reached down to stroke the hair from his face and Laisren could feel the warm blood matting his hair to the side of his face. His father, still looking into Laisren’s eyes stood and then turned to look at his mother.

He would never forget that look, that look of fear in his father’s eyes and he had hated his father for it for as long as he could remember. His father wiped his face with a trembling hand, leaving a smear of crimson across his silken white face and turned to look at Laisren one last time, before he turned and staggered off for the door.

“Stay here”, was all his father could muster without even turning around and then he was gone………..

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“There can be no mistake Elundir, I know their mission and have seen the knife”, Laisren informed his mentor and benefactor.

“Then you know what must be done”, his mentor returned in a whispery tone nearly inaudible within the Friendly Arm Inn.

Laisren nodded at this and looked around, taking in his surroundings whilst his mentor sat transfixed on him. There were a series of attacks upon elves and none seemed completely safe but somehow Laisren knew he was safe with his mentor, if no one else.

“You will go to the southern trade route, near Beregost”, the darkly shrouded figure instructed him. “There you will meet another young moon elf named Misara, she will be wearing a white mask”, he continued. “There you will tell her what must be done”, he seemed to finish but then added, “but if she fails, you are to finish the job”. “Do you understand”, the older elf insisted more so than asked.

Laisren simple nodded once more. “You have trained me for this, I am ready”, Laisren followed. “No more elven blood will be spilled by these animals”, he half exclaimed.

His mentor turned his dull yellow eyes directly upon Laisren, “If it should, it will be yours for failing your mission, do not fail”, the elf snorted while standing and then as surely as he stood, vanished into thin air. Laisren simply hardened his heart and clenched his fists, this would be his first assassination but he would not show weakness. He would never show weakness……..


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He watched her from afar. She seemed to him…truly divine. How could such a person as she move with such power and grace, he thought as he watched her notch three separate arrows, firing them all at once to strike like thunder upon the poor goblin, it’s body nearly disintegrating under the force of the impact.


She stood there, with her hazel green eyes and flowing dark hair, smiling at her own abilities with confidence. Laisren did not know it, but he was falling in love and all that he strove for would never be the same.

She walked over and plucked the arrows from the mangled corpse, her party beside her berated her for once again stealing the kill before any had the chance to mount an attack. She simply shrugged and smiled to everyone, while they grumbled and moved forward.

Laisren watched all this from the shadows. He knew for all their gifts, none from this group could possibly perceive his presence, he had been trained too well. Yet, he saw himself moving uncomfortably distant from her. Why?, he thought, she can not possibly see me. Yet, there he was feeling nervous in the presence of this olive skinned wild elf.

Then it happened, they came too near the tunnels lair and he came forth in full fury, the Goblin Soothsayer had come. The party was ill prepared as the giant dire bear came rushing forth, brushing aside their strongest warriors and moving for his greatest threat, the Wild Elf with her bow. She quickly notched three arrows and let them fly, but the creature's hide was thick and only one found its mark.

The giant beast now bore down within just a few steps of the woman, as she rushed to notch another arrow, Laisren stepped from the shadows. As it opened its giant maw and aimed for the womans throat, Laisren rushed upward with the short blade within his right hand to pin the beast's jaw shut once more, then sliced back across with his left blade to sink deep within its shoulder.

The Shaman now turned toward Laisren. Laisren quickly spoke the words in elven, and he suddenly stood as five elves instead of one. The beast swatted and batted at each and all, till there was but one and Laisren stood alone before this Goblin’s fury. He stood his ground, bent into a defensive crouch and waived the creature forward. It’s body shook and soon took a massive leap forward, falling dead before Laisren’s feet with three arrows within its back.

He looked up past the beast and there the woman stood smiling. “My name….my name is Saline”, is all she said as she winked at him…………..

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“Captain, um captain”, the words had pierced his reverie like a sharp painful blade in his mind. “Hmph!!”, Laisren sat up with the blade upon his hip drawn in one motion. “Captain, it’s me, Mendel”, one of Laisren’s recruits spoke to him while he sat there simply staring at the large wood elf.

“Um, Captain the Lady Silias has awoken and there is a representative here to see you”, the wood elf stated purposefully while watching the blade. “A representative?”, Laisren asked quizzically as he rested his blade back within it’s scabbard. The recruit retorted, “Yes Captain, from the High Moor………..

[Maverick 40]

[youtube] https://youtu.be/RxabLA7UQ9k?si=NVOwj2_G5nvS88Hj[/youtube]

The elf and the snarling green beast circled each other. The beast stopped suddenly, looking around in confusion for its opponent. The elf rushed from the shadow of a gray boulder, slashing across the back of the beast’s enormous legs as he went past. The beast toppled to its hands and knees and looked around until finally finding the cool gaze of his assailant.

The elf stood there, staring the giant beast directly in its malevolent eyes. It attempted one last desperate lunge for the elf but with the flesh of its hamstrings severed, the beast simply crumpled to the earth. The elf moved forward, gingerly placing one foot upon the back of its neck as it lay there still growling. The elf slid his dual short blades in their scabbards slowly, as if savoring the moment. Then he reached for the giant war blade, which he now carried upon his back, and pulled it out.

The elf’s body lurched forth as the tip of it fell to strike the stone ground, but he remained staring down at the great troll with a cocked head, as if the studying the terrible monster. As he watched the wounds of the troll begin to heal, he called the words to his god and the war blade lit aflame as if it were forged in the hells themselves.

He was wearing the armor of his mentor, and with its strength he drew the war blade from off the ground, sparks flying as it screeched upon the stone. Holding the blade over his head and bracing the beast with his foot, he drove in the infernal sword.

The beast’s head rolled down the cliff face, while it’s body lay there limp. The elf left the blade there, carved into the stone, as he stood above the beast gripping his fists together and breathing in great heaves. Suddenly, terrible shrieks rang out all around the elf. The troll was not alone in these hills and the others had come to see what had befallen its kin.

The elf turned to see three to four trolls charging down the pass towards the river running toward him. The elf’s breathing slowed and he took hold of the blade once more. He ran down the pass to meet his would-be assailants, carrying the flaming blade with him. As it came to meet the beasts he let out a great war cry, “Casin Cu Calas!!!!”............

That night he sat on the stone of the highest peak, a newly assembled troll hide tent protected him from the rain but he could still here it hitting the fire with a hiss as he sat there staring. There would be no reverie, only the flames that now raged within his soul. There was nothing left to cage the demons, the great inferno that began in his youth. His mind began to wander as he watched the flames lick forth to be splashed into a dark steam……….

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It had been almost a full day before anyone had come to find Laisren, still sitting there within the room and holding his baby sister. He had not known what to do, so he sat and waited for his father to return, but he never came. When the inn keeper came to collect the night’s dues, he found Laisren sitting there, still crying. There was no hesitation in the man as he walked over.

He tore the screaming baby from Laisren’s arms, and the boy just clutched forth confused and not wanting to let go. Then the man called forth for two larger men to enter the room. “Take da boy, he ain’t wert all dat much”, he heard the man say. “Dis one ere’ will make a good lil’ servant fer me daughter, I tink” he finished while staring at the new born baby, waiving dismissively to the two large men, who then dragged the boy from the corner and out into the street. One had stayed behind to hold Laisren while the other returned inside to recover the dead half elf woman, Laisren’s mother.

Laisren screamed and cried out, but the people on the street just kept moving. Some turned to stare at the boy but none did anything to help him and he couldn't understand, why? Then the inn keeper came out of the door and out into the street. While looking over the dead body of Laisren’s mother, he exclaimed to all those in the street:

“Dis is wha appens t’ dem who don’t pay!”, then he took a match as the other large man dosed his mother in a black liquid, and he struck it. He looked around to make sure all of those in the street were paying attention and then he threw the match down upon the body.

Laisren screamed, tears and mucus running down his face as he struggled against the man holding him, but no sound came forth. All he could hear were the cries of his baby sister as the man stood there holding her, looking down upon the steadily immolating corpse that once was their mother.

The last thing he remembered, as two of the men walked off as if nothing had happened, was the last man, the one still holding Laisren, looking down at him. He pulled forth a flask, and told Laisren “Drink!!” But as Laisren refused, the man raised the back of his hand and smashed it across Laisren’s face. “Drink, boy!!!!” the man said again and with stars within his eyes, Laisren drank.

Despite the fact that Laisren felt dazed from the backhand, his body began suddenly to convulse.

“Whoap,” the boy let out, as he sucked down the burning liquid. After his body’s immediate revolt, he soon thereafter became numb. “It will get easier,” the man said, and without a second thought walked off leaving Laisren standing there still dazed and confused. He had forgotten all about his sister and his father but he had not forgotten about his mother. He staggered forward to the ash and bone that was the woman whom days before held him and sang him lullaby hymns. He would never forget that feeling, that feeling of complete and utter helplessness…….

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“Peace be upon you boy,” the large olive skinned man told him as he took his position. The men of Calimshan, Laisren’s new band mates, then took their position in the thick brush.

There he came, a lone traveler. Laisren almost felt sorry for him, but he did not ponder it much, for he was hungry and this man was all that stood in the way of him filling his belly. The slender man wore simple dark clothes, a cowl and a sack upon his back. He would be an easy mark, Laisren thought. However, this was not to be the case. “Oh, good sir….,” Laisren began to exclaim as the man entered within thirty feet of the young elf. The man lifted his head up, and from underneath the cowl peered two glowing yellow eyes. Laisren was suddenly mesmerized as he watched the man’s next actions.

The man ducked down as the first arrow grazed the sack upon his back, and then suddenly a cry of anguish cried out where he knew his band leader Samir’s position was. Laisren turned to see a large white leopard pinning the man to the ground and tearing out his throat to silence the cries. Laisren worriedly look back to the path where the man was and saw him now continuing to walk down the path, his yellow eyes still staring at Laisren.

Then his band mates joined in and rushed onto the path from both sides. They closed upon the man, but suddenly he disappeared into then air. They stood around confused and stunned for a moment. Laisren, now seemingly terrified, turned to the direction of Samir’s slaughter and saw the panther was gone. There was a sudden, huge explosion. Laisren turned and saw the man with the glowing yellow eyes standing before him, hands smoking and the charred remnants of his band mates smoldering behind him.

The man stopped and simply stared at him. Laisren knew at that moment he was being offered as choice; stand and fight or turn and flee. He could now hear the leopard behind him, and feel the heavy pant of its breath upon the back of his legs. At that moment, looking at the cowled man with the glaring yellow eyes and the smoke rising behind him, he thought of his mother. He closed his eyes for a moment, remembering her face.

Laisren rushed forth, a cleverly hidden dagger torn forth from his belt, he leaped for the man………..


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[youtube] http://youtu.be/b0tr-tGXxS0?si=NyqIZ3OebT-Jasaw[/youtube]

“Saline, I love you, will you marry me?” were all the words the Selkerdrim could muster as he sat upon the cobble path before the Tower of Doron. At this one moment in his life, he had forgotten everything around him. There was nothing else in the world but her and this one moment.

Please say yes, oh gods, please say yes he thought to himself. Then he saw the shining tears in her eyes, for the ring he had made shone like a beacon for all those gathered to see. It was then, he knew he would spend the rest of his decades loving this woman.

“Yes,” she said in a whisper and tears came to both their eyes. He remembered kissing her gently as the world began to materialize once more around them and he heard the cheers of others, their kin and friends. Their lips parted and the couple felt the warm touch of Lady Luthien’s hands grasping their arms. They turned to see the High Priestess smiling upon them, and their beloved Mathora standing and clapping behind her. Even his friend, the ranger Catam, was there blushing in the background. Catam was the only elf who knew Laisren’s truth, other than Saline, and Laisren turned to the half elf to give him a nod of thanks.

Perhaps for the first time in his life, Laisren stood with his chin held high in the air and was proud. He was not proud of the prowess he had gained, nor the power he had gleaned, for none of that had ever settled the empty fire that had burned inside of him. Rather it was the love of this woman, which would set his soul free.

They went out into the night, a true band of elves moving under the brilliance of the full moon’s light. They laughed, fought, and danced to the pinnacle of Durlag’s Tower. Looking out across the vast southern expanse, Laisren wrapped his arms around Saline and she rested her head upon his shoulder. That moment was more beautiful than any he would ever know but then he noticed the moistness within Saline’s eyes as she looked up at him.

“What tis the matter my lady?” was his concerned response, wishing to know why. She just stared up at him a moment. “I’m just happy,” is all she retorted as she blinked and continued to look up at him. He squeezed her tightly in both arms and kissed her forehead, as they both now stared out into the expanse.

He did not remember how they arrived home but when he went to her chambers the next day, she was gone……………..

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The fire had long died out and the rain had overtaken his small camp, but he stayed there staring. Suddenly his concentration was broken by a figure moving up the path, though he could not quite make it out. His sight was rapidly diminishing, not having reverie in three days now. Finally, as the figured moved within a few yards, Laisren could make it out.

“Mendel?” Laisren asked somewhat distantly as he looked up incoherently to his friend.

“Yes Captain, it is time to come home,” the large elf said and suddenly the burning pain of Laisren's life came flooding back to him........

// I would like to thank my editor and wife for her perseverance and love. It is both her inspiration and grammatical skill that helped to forge this post after my overindulgence in Belgium Beer

[Maverick 40]

The world sped by and all that he could feel was the rush of wind. His muscles had stopped throbbing and a strange calm overcame him as he flitted between the shadows beneath the full moon’s light. The forest seemed to become still and he no longer knew if he was in reverie, or if he was awake, accept for the wind. His mind began to wander in and out of a subliminal as he looked back upon his life…..

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He thought of her, the woman whom brought him into this world and the one he longed for all his youth. He remembered her gentle round face, her pale olive skin, her big brown eyes and then how they turned to ash before him.

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He woke suddenly, and kept kept running. With every stride, he continued to push himself beyond what his body thought it could endure. He simply did not care any longer - he wanted to see her so badly that he would have to face his death before he would stop. It was then that his thoughts began to wander back, back to him......

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He remembered hovelling on the ground, begging for his life as the elf with the yellow eyes paced around him. The giant hand the Yellow Eyed Elf had summoned crushed Laisren where he stood. Laisren could still feel his bones crushing and his insides beginning to spill as a slight shudder overcome him. Then he remembered the words the elf spoke to him as he stopped to stare Laisren in the eyes, "Fight, or die, that was the only choice we have been given. Whether the end to this madness is slow, or quick, only that you can decide?“

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“Captain!!!!..” he heard a voice in the back of his mind, but that did not seem right…. then Lasisren saw the giant dire bear before him rearing up as he was running directly for it. At the last second, Laisren tumbled nimbly between the beast's legs and without breaking stride continued on running.

“Captain you must…..”, he could here the voice begin to fade back into the recesses of his mind. Where was he again? He tried to think back…..

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“Laisren, where do you come from?”, she asked him. Her large hazel eyes looking up at him though the steam of the black tea she drank. She looked to him with an earnestness, sitting by the fire of the Gullykin camp they had came to rendezvous at now regularly. There was something in her look that felt so familiar and kind. For the first time in his life, he did not feel ashamed……

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“Captain, we near Doron!!”, he could hear the shout in the distance behind him and finally he stopped before a rope bridge crossing a great river. He paused a moment, reflecting on all the events that transpired to bring him to this moment. He needed to see her again, just this once…….

[Maverick 40]

Laisren took his first step upon the bridge and could hear the rush of the river beneath him. He felt his weight shift the gravitational force under his feet, and it felt as if he would fall straight through the veil of the world around him.........

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There they were, walking down the dirt trail.

"Os'i, why do you cry?"

"Because Laisren, I would wish to give the whole world my little prince.....but I fear my arms can only hold so much, I worry it's not enough"

"I don't need anything Os'i", the boy said with a serious look on his face.

The woman laughed at this. "Oh my little prince, you are ever so serious aren't you?", she replied.

"But....", the boy began but was soon interupted by his mother. "Shh....no more, let us speak of happy things shall we", she said while smiling down at Laisren.

"Ok", the boy replied all too eagerly. "I liked that sweet fruit father bought me at the stall, can we get more please!!".

"Yes my little prince, when we reach the next town, we will get you sweet pear", she told him with a nod. The boy was suddenly shocked back to reality again. Looking down at his feet, he thought of how tired he was of walking.

"You know Laisren, where your father and I came from across the sea, they make sweet pear into the most wonderful wine!", she said smiling, lifting up his chin to look up at her.

He remembered the world melting away again, the heavy tread of his sore feat lighten and his spirit lifted..........

[Maverick 40]

Laisren found himself before the entrance to Doron. The Everskan Rangers were there to greet him. "Welcome back Master Tiernan," they said as he crossed the stone bridge above the creek. He nodded to them respectfully but inside he felt ashamed and embarassed. He wished he could just run away from this place, never having to confront the ones whom he trusted, the ones whom betrayed him.

Laisren had been warned against this, implored not to trust anyone save those whom need something of you. Did they not need me anymore? Laisren thought and grimaced while trying to hide his face beneath his hood. He stopped on the path by the river and closed his eyes. Laisren was thinking of him again, the closest thing to a father he ever knew.

What would you have me do? Laisren thought as his conscience began to slip..........

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Laisren's lunge had left him unbalanced and stubbling forward into thin air.

"You would attack your own kin?", Laisren could hear his voice but not see the man with the yellow eyes ask emphatically.

Laisren whirled around and saw the man standing there, but before Laisren could move the man with the yellow eyes cast a spell paralyzing Laisren where he stood. Laisren's courage fled his heart and mind while his body rebelled against his own will to control it.

The man walked forward to within reach of Laisren and pulled forth a sharp blade hidden within the folds of his robes. He used the blade to tilt Laisren's face up, forcing him to meet the man's intense yellow gaze.

"I suppose you would now be unable to answer my simple inquiry", the man sighed. He then turned from Laisren and walked back to the leopord who now sat patiently licking the blood from its paws, cleaning itself. The man ran his hand over the beast's head and Laisren heard the animal give a slight purr.

"You would fight for these humans then?!?", the man asked in disbelief and then turned to face Laisren, his yellow eyes fixed in a glare. "You know now that I might kill you at whim," he stated more so than asked as the large cat suddenly stopped cleaning itself and looked up at Laisren, fangs bared in a slight snarl.

Laisren remembered thinking it would finally be the end, he had had enough in his young life, and yet he still wished not to have it end like this. But instead the man waved his hand and briefly closed his eyes and Laisren had to catch himself as his body had returned to his command. His first thought was to rush then man, his next was to run, but he knew neither would save him.

"They gave me shelter and food," Laisren told the man reluctantly as he dropped the knife and simply returned the elf's gaze.

"So, they give you a few scraps from their plates like a dog and you would kill your kin for this?!", the man asked in angry disdain. "These humans use you boy, you do know that?", he asked in an earnest tone.

Laisren simply shrugged in response, not knowing what to say or truly what the question meant. He had known only the need for survival his whole existence and these men had offered it to him, what else was to be said?

The elf approached Laisren, drawing the blade again the man pulled the pendant necklace from Laisren's neck in such a swift motion, Laisren had no time to react. He simply stood there as the man stared at the pendant of flame.

"Where did you get this?", the man asked in a vitriolic voice, turning his yellow orbs back to peer upon Laisren. Laisren seemed nearly as paralyzed as before but he forced himself to answer. "I took it from a man named Buthek, well....it was given to me..." he said.

"Which is it boy? You stole it or it was given to you?!", the elf's voiced raised in anger, for what reason Laisren did not understand. "I was given it by....by Siomir, the man you killed," Laisren said earnestly.

"Why? Why would he give this to you!?!", the man demanded.

"Because, because I killed Buthek....", Laisren answered, attempting not to show the fear that was running through his veins before this terrifying figure.

"Why did you kill Buthek boy...?", the man's voice now lowered to a sneering whisper. "Because, he....." Laisren sighed nervously, remembering that terrible night. He took a deep breath and continued "because he was raping and toturing an elven girl" he finished. Laisren's glance turned downward and the sadness within his soul robbed him now of his fear.

"So, you killed him for this then?" the elf asked raising an eyebrow toward Laisren. "But why would Siomir give you his pendant for killing a fellow outlaw, ay?" he questioned.

Laisren continued to stare at the ground before the man's feet, for some reason fearing to retell this story. He was afraid to tell it not because it was a lie, but because he feared the truth of it. "Because I prayed to Siomir's god to aid me in killing him." Laisren finally murmurred as he exhaled.

"How did you know this god?", the man asked quizically.

"I...I...knew him since Siomir took me in and showed me the alter of his god," Laisren hastily replied.

"You are not telling me everything boy," the man stated. "I know these things as a man whom deals in the intricacies of deceit, now tell me the truth and all of it!", the man demanded.

Laisren sighed, then finished the telling of the story. "I...I have known this god before Siomir, I see him in my dreams at night, he haunts my thoughts...." Laisren's tale trailed into silence. He was thinking of her again, of the flames....

The yellow eyed elf cocked his head as if trying to read Laisren's thoughts and then as suddenly as he tore the pendant loose, tossed it back to him. "You are with us now boy", the elf said as he continued off down the trail, the white leopord in tow. And so, the boy followed......

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"Captain, the Council awaits you before the tower", Laisren heard the dutiful voice of his friend Mendel. Laisren turned, placing a hand upon the broad shoulder of the copper elf, he gave him a nod.

"Lead on then....", Liasren replied.

[Maverick 40]

Laisren walks up the path toward the tower, stopping to look up. Suddenly, it all comes back to him. He pauses a moment, remembering that night, the night that changed the course of his life once more.......

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As all the powers of Doron stood before he and the tower, Laisren felt helpless before them. Every nerve, every fiber of his being yearned and strained for one thing, and only one thing.

"Councilors, I beseach you allow me speak with her, for all I have done in service for Doron, allow me this!" he pleaded with them.

"Do not make me call forth the Rangers to remove you Laisren!!" said the one he once called friend, perhaps the only elf who knew the truth of him. Now, this same elf stood as adversary to the only thing that drove him on. He just needed to see the woman he once loved and ask her why??

The boiling sensation in his chest and the rush of blood to his head seemed unbearable. Though he felt he might explode in emotion, he somehow managed to gain his composure.

"Please, Lady Silias, as one who knows the driving force of love and want of one's partner to be near, allow me this?" Laisren begged. But even before she could muster her answer, he saw the saddened look on her face and knew without doubt that she too would deny him.

"Just get of the way Laisren, we are going in there," were the next words he heard as the party of Doron's elves entered the tower to see the fallen woman. The woman he once looked to as being a necessity in his life, much in the same way oxygen was a necessity in order to breathe.

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"Tell us what happened" he heard, but he wasn't paying attention to who was asking the questions. He was too focused upon the woman with the olive complexion sitting in the chair. He continued staring at her until the armed guards, the dozen or so elves, and all else in the room seemed to blur away. All he saw was her, and her constant shifting as she tried not to look up at him.

As it became more difficult for him to stay focused, he realized it was his eyes that were betraying him as they began to fill with tears, a glossy light dancing through them like candle light behind a paned glass. He did not know why, wether it out of anger or sadness, but he did not care any longer. It was as if he were being splayed open before all those to see, every nerve exposed to their unrelenting eyes, but he was now beyond care. He simply stared at her and wanted to know why?

And then they were gone. He heard somthing about needing to deliberate, over what he did not know. All he knew is that suddenly he was alone with her and for the first time since he was that boy sitting in the corner of that inn, he was terrified......

"Laisren....." she began timidly, turning her hazel eyes to look up at him. "Why!?!?" he implored her before she could finish, tears begining to flow and stream down his face. "Laisren, I didn't think you would understand and.....", she began while reflexively moving toward him, stoping only by his next words.

"Saline, I loved you!!!" he confessed in a strained exclaimation. "I would have gone with you to confront anything!!"

"I know, but I did not want you to mistrust me, this was my burden.....", she said while reaching her hands tenderly towards his face and looking up at him, tears now flowing freely down her face.

He flinched away from her, though half heartedly. Every fiber of his being wanted to be comforted by her but the pain also was too great to bear. "There were no burdens that were yours alone anylonger, there was nothing I wouldn't have done for you" he proclaimed. "You were my life......." he turned from her now ashamed, not wanting her to see him.

"Why....?" he asked with his back to her, his face turned down and hidden under his hood in defeat.

"Because Laisren, I loved you too," she said as she moved before him, tilting up his chin with her one good calloused hand. As she looked into his eyes with tears running down her face, she asked him, "Can you forgive me......?"

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.........Suddenly he was brought back to the world by a tug on his arm and he turned to look at the figure next to him. As he turns to view this figure he sees his dutiful friend Mendel, the omnipresent Dralzar and the two priestess standing by them, all awaiting word.

"I love it Laisren! This will do just fine until we are finished in the south," she said, her large hazle eyes beaming in the moon light. "Once the wedding is over of course" she chided him now with a wink while taking his hand.

"I am glad you approve, my love" said Laisren, "We shall need the cheap rent after this wedding", he teased back before smiling and kissing her on the cheek and they both stared up at their new home.........

[Maverick 40]

// Hey Guys,

I don't know how many people were gracious enough to read these excerpts (probably just me ) but alas Laisren back-story has come to a conclusion. I would like to thank all of the characters that were taken from IG and used in this journal, without your support this would not have been such an enjoyable escape for me.

I would especially like to thank two of my best buddies on this server, Mrm3ntalist and Nezzerscape for their ongoing support. They are such great people, loyal friends and great companions both IC and IRL. You guys are great

There are others and you know who you are Manz/Dreleon, Darksider War, Beneviolent but alas I can not begin to go on or this will become it's own topic. Besides Manz never reads the forums any ways

There was more, a few cut scenes that were edited out due to time constraints, and if anyone wishes to hear about them, I will tell you OOC of Laisren's past. This journal was collected about 75% from IG role-play and that, while the most challenging to produce, shows you just how rewarding this place can be when you use your imagination

Fair winds to you all and I will be seeing you soon,

-Mav

[mrm3ntalist]

What you mean there will be no more? Come on now.... dont be lazy

Besides Manz never reads the forums any ways

He does know, i am telling you. he even asked me to pm him the links of all our threads so that he can read them!!! Havent you noticed he is acting even more "spiritual" ig

[Nomster]

// I read them! *jumps up and down* Would love to hear more... I sent you a PM, but I'm thinking you avoid your inbox for reasons unknown

[Maverick 40]

The Days Leading to the Wedding

It was two days before the wedding, the day that would be the happiest of his life and although he knew this, he sat alone thinking of the past again. The fire at their camp within Gullykin blazed as the sunlight gave way to twilight and the canyon's shadows lingered over the valley. Fall had come and with it a cool breeze that blew gently toward him, though he hardly noticed.

"Greetings Cousin," announced the arrival of two wood elves, his best friends here within these lands. Perhaps the first true friends in his long life. Laisren merely nodded while continuing to stare. The elves looked quizically at each other before taking seats upon the benches next to Laisren. With concern heavy in his tone, Mendel asked "Laisren, you are to be wed, does this not make you happy?"

Happy? Laisren thought.........

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Laisren saw his mother's sudden tension, and he looked toward the door. His father was there, holding a bottle, leaning against the door frame and wiping the wine from his lips with his free hand.

"What?!?" he heard his father ask with an almost mocking tone. "You're alright aren't you? Come ere' and let me get a good look at you," his father slurred, as his mother slowly began to rise from her place. Laisren could feel himself still clutching for his mother as she bent down to him and said "Everything is going to be alright Laisren." With her kindly eyes, she looked into Laisren's, and with a loving smile told him "Why don't you go outside and play my little prince? Go, be happy...."
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It was night still, but Laisren was now back within that same cabin those decades ago. He watched the yellow eyed elf glide into a corner, something this one always did, it was a habbit to prevent one from approaching from where he could not control. Laisren knew him all too well now. Laisren had been studying him for some time, learning his methods, his ways, and yes, even his habits.

They had been together a full decade and within those younger years, time seemed slower, even for an elf. Laisren's body was still beaten and he was exhausted from nearly drowning before the water demon the yellow eyed elf had summoned to combat him. He had dozed in and out of reverie whilst the yellowed eyed elf sat by the fire, tossing the embers for some time. He finally gave up his vigil over Laisren and moved to his corner.

This is it, Laisren thought to himself as he rose silently from the straw thatch bed. He had learned well from this elf and so did not make a sound pulling a dagger from the bag resting by the bed. The yellow eyed elf had assumed with Laisren in his current condition, the he himself was safe and therefore did not cast any wards of protection. He will pay Laisren told himself as he silently creeped ever closer to the elf.

NOW, the thought burst threw Laisren's mind in such force, that it took a brief moment for his two hands to plunge down with the dagger....

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Saline was wearing her simple brown dress. They sat before the camp in the early morning's light. He enjoyed their moments, their casual embrace, and the breath he would take seemed to not only fill his chest, but also his soul. They spoke about things, not with the need to filter one's thoughts for appeasement of others, but openly and truthfully. He loved this about her. She accepted him for exactly who he was and he was happy........

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Laisren heard the shout and the crashing that came from within the small apartment where his mother and father now resided. He was scared and he was embarrassed but he knew not what to do. He looked about and he saw the faces of others, their looks of sympathy and shame.

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The dagger ricocheted off of the the elf's skin and felt like it would shatter in Laisren's hands. The elf's lids flew open, his yellow eyes ablaze with anger bore into Laisren's. Laisren felt the elf's hand rush forth and grab him by the back of the head, lifting him from his feet with a magical strength.

"WHY you fool boy?!?!" the elf demanded, the glare of his yellow eyes taking on the appearance of burning flames. Laisren's dead stare did not allow his eyes to respond. I have failed he thought to himself but said nothing as his last act of defiance. "WHY!?!" the elf with the yellow eyes yelled and this time he got his answer...

"You are a monster, I hate you!!!" Laisren shouted back with all his defiance. "You just use me and when you're done, YOU WILL JUST LEAVE ME TO DIE!!!!!" Laisren's great exertions now left him panting for breath. Liasren never broke contact with the elf's yellow eyes and it was at this moment the elf's eyes betrayed a sudden sense of empathy, some look of understanding.

This confused Laisren and it began to make him angry until he heard the next words from the elf's lips. The elf's voice and eyes now lowered, "Like your father........."

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They had been talking but Laisren had not truly been within the conversation. Suddenly, his ears caught the sound of his old friend Dralzar, an elf whom seldom spoke except to impart the wisdom of all his ages. "It is not up to you Laisren, each elf must make their own decision whom to follow and we have chosen this path" the druid paused and then repeated, "we chose....."

Laisren suddenly longed to be with his wife.



//to be continued

[Maverick 40]

[/

The monster flailed out of one its giant legs to force his blades out, he stood there only momentarily defenseless but that was all the time it needed. Laisren did not see it happen but he could feel its razor sharp mandibles pierce through his sides and into the core of him. At that moment he thought of her and he smiled as the beast launched him through the air.......

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He felt the wind's breeze and there standing in front of him was the woman he loved, just as the night they were married, naked and beautiful. The flowers crowning her head were all that kept her hair from flowing before her shining face. The wind was stronger than he remembered but he didn't care, he was too lost within her big green eyes. There was no one else around, just them this time, the way he always wanted it.

She did not say anything but suddenly Laisren realized there were tears within her eyes, as the wind began to pick him up and carry him away. Slowly at first, she held her arms out to grasp his hands but no matter how hard he gripped her and fought the winds, he was being taken away from her.

"Saline!!!!", he yelled while finally their grip broke free and he flew from her fingers.........

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He hit the ground with a sickening thud. Suddenly he could feel there were others rushing around him and he lay there looking across the ground to see his friend Mendel lying nearby. Laisren's eyes grew heavy and his breath came in great heaves. He felt cold and suddenly so very tired. He fought to keep his eyes from closing and then they did..........

[Maverick 40]

He opened his eyes and found himself standing underneath a giant golden tree. He slowly looked around him to see naught but scorched earth. Beyond its canopy, there rained fire from a giant dark sky that fell upon vast wastes beyond. When he turned back to look before him, there she stood......

"Osi?", he said not understanding, his hands involutarily began to tremble and his eyes filled with tears as looked upon this beautiful and young half-elven woman. She was dressed within a beautiful golden gown, her hair a ribboned auburn and her face the color of cream. She stood there smiling at Laisren and he could no longer control his emotions, he ran to her and threw himself at her feet, tears streaming down his face. "Osi, how.....", he began to say but was interupted by the figure, "No, Laisren I am not", it told him. "But....", he again began, yet she simply raised one finger to his lips and silenced him again. "I am but the perception of the one you hold dear", the figure said with a reassuring voice while continuing to smile down at him.

Laisren looked confusedly toward the figure not knowing what to say next. Then he looked around again, "Where, where are we?", he asked the figure. "We are in the place in between your world and the next", the figure told him. Laisren was even more puzzled, it was seemingly more than his concious could take. But then he forced his tears to stop and composed himself, with a furrowed brow he spoke next, "Why, why am I here?", he asked.

"Because you will not let go", the woman responded to him while carassing his face with her hand. He simply looked up into her dark eyes, with every fiber of his being he just wanted to let this moment last forever. Still, something drove him to question this reality further. "Why are you here?", he asked in a complexed tone, the same a child would use when wishing to understand.

The figure smiled warmly down to him and then responded cryptically, "Because you seek an answer". He did not respond but simply stared up at the figure incredulously. The figure then responded to his questioning look and then stated, "Why". It was then that the world around them began to change. There was flashes within the dark sky, light and wonderous images. They were his memories. At first they were blurred and with each new image they became more clear.

They began within his childhood, the first shown the very same face as the figure that stood before him now and he smiled with tears within his eyes. He then saw his father as he played the lute and sang within the hovel they shared in Tethyr. Next, came the terrible images, those that had burned within his concious and as he stared up at them, the smile ran from his face and the same stoic look he wore throughout most of his life returned.

The fire that consumed the face he held dear, the men whom treated him and taught him how to survive the wilderness without code, or honor. The yellow eyed elf was soon standing there staring back down at the pair. Laisren stood suddenly as if in challenge and as quickly as the image had appeared it was gone. The images moved quicker now and seemed to blur the sky. Images of Doron, of elves he once called friends. Then images of a fire nearby a halfling town where other elves sat.

He smiled once more as these faces became clear. There was the image of a strong Wood Elf cutting through enemies, another copper skinned elf grinning before transforming into a great dragon and a white haired elf stumbling through the village stark naked. A smile cracked Laisren lips suddenly. Then came a tower, where elves and dwarves sat around, drinking and telling stories. Finally, the images of great devastation came to the fore and Laisren's smile turned back to a frown as Black Orcs ran like locust over the wood he knew and the tower he had called home.

He began to look down when the final image cast across the sky and he looked up to see her face. "Saline", Laisren whispered and the figure beside him spoke in agreement, "Yes". He saw the last image he had remembered, Saline's face looking down at him and using a cool wet cloth stroke his feverish head. The look upon his face was one of confusion, he could scarce remember where they were, his memory was so vague now. Then the figure next to him spoke, "The elven village" and Laisren hastily turned to regard her. "Yes, that is right, we made it but.....", he began as the figure finished, "your people are not home".

Laisren looked at the figure, a stern look within his eyes, not toward her but toward the answer he had been given. Then suddenly the sky began to contort, the great darkness that began this world broke though the image of his beloved wife and came crashing down now to rattle upon the sanctity of the tree. The darkness seemed as if it were a creature in itself, and screamed as it fell down upon them. Laisren ducked and expected the tree to give way to the weight of the darkness but it held firm.

"If you are ready, I will take you on to the next world", the figure that was his mother asked and he turned to regard her. The figure's smile was gone now as it waited for an answer. The tree above them continued to rattle and soon the very ground beneath their feat began to shake. "This place will not be for long, you must choose", the voice said stoically to him.

Laisren stood there looking back at the figure that was the only one he had wished to see within his next life. She waited for him to respond but he simply shook his head as tears formed back into his eyes. "Very well", the figured said as it began to fade, "you have your answer". Then suddenly she was gone and Laisren stood there and closed his eyes, a tear streamed down his cheek, as the darkness came crashing down upon him...........

[Maverick 40]

The End to the Beginning

The room was dark and smelled of decay. He felt a terrible chill and his body trembled involuntarily. He could not open his eyes at first. He did not know where he was, nor how he came to be here. Yet, for the first time since the darkness he began to sense something beyond it's vast reach. He felt someone's warm embrace. He struggled to open his eyes and there was Saline lying next to him. He remembered everything now but it all seemed so surreal that he did not believe. He simply stared at her.

She looked to him with her hazel eyes filled with tears. He struggled to speak, wanting to know why she was sad and what had happened but she hushed him by mouthing the words "I love you", kissing him upon the forehead and then nodding beyond the bed he lay within. It was then that Laisren noticed a throng of elves who were sitting and kneeling beside the bed. As he looked to each of them, they began to stand. The beautiful Luthien, stalwart Mendel, whimsical Tan and others some of whom Laisren knew, some of which he did not.

They all stared down towards him with a smile and for the first time in his newly blessed life, he felt completely at ease. He knew that no matter what had happened, no matter what should happen, he would not be alone. He knew he would be destined to be with his people from this day hence and he was so very, very proud.........

[Maverick 40]

Laisren stood atop the bridge of swaying rope and board, the cool breeze blowing against his fair cheeks. He closed his eyes for a moment and then opened them to see young elven children playing below. Their mothers watched as they cleaned clothes in the stream and the fathers gathered to strip the meat and gather the harvest from their evening hunt. Mendel and Nai stood by the huts and when they thought others were not watching, rubbed their noses together contentedly. He could here the drunken giddy laughter of Tan and his burly sounding drinking companion Durin.

The Lady Luthien seemed to be given a sermon down by the Druid grove as villagers wondrously gathered and Deacon smoked his small pipe, walking around offering the hungry cheese. Saline was down by the Dala'Haera teaching young women how to use a bow. Many others of his people now seemed to blend so seamlessly into the village that there really could be no distinction. The nervous stares and carefully crafted correspondence had given way to a mutual respect.

Laisren for once in his life felt at ease and safe within the wisdom of his benefactors, at least he wanted to be. No matter how he tried, he could not let his thoughts wander far from the pain and anguish his life had been but at least now, he has these subtle moments to enjoy this peace. Laisren closed his eyes again and he smiled.