Grumbling rants from a Dwarf with a perfect beard at the FAI
Posted: Sat Mar 23, 2013 12:27 pm
An angry red faced and red bearded Dwarf stalks up and down the road around the FAI grumbling loudly, cursing, and tossing hand axes at random trees. Orc, Knights, traitor Elves, and Humans often seem a common theme in this. Some might know this Dwarf as Kehl Stonehold.
Though it can be hard to get overly mad when one looks deeply into his legendary beard of Lass-Nip. It's not the longest of beards but it shimmers like silk, and is braided in such complex way that boggles the mind. It looks so ethereal that one in awe might expect it smells of wild flowers, and that blue birds fly about it singing songs of happiness.
It's even rumored that Tempus god of war cries out to Kehl Stonehold's beard in battle.
Or that staring at Kehl's beard for more then 5 minutes at a time has a 3.7% chance of getting a woman pregnant!
Every so often some clarity in his speech brakes through. Talking to random passerby's, or a Dwarf wearing a hooded cloak. The few understandable parts of his grumbled rants are...
..."Damable folks be lettin all sorts o Black Orc walkin abouts da Inn like tha nay be o war! Guess tha nay ever be lossin Kin, loved ones, and friends tha them beasts, like o real Dwarf or Elf be knowin all to well abouts"...
..."Bet thar be lettin Drow walk up to tha Inn and chat away as well! Be tha same... Ye blasted Drow lovin"...
..."Ye be knowin how tha get o half-Orc?! Nay be flowers and fine dining... it be brutal rape by them bloody Orc! Thar be da beasts arses ye kissin up to at da Inn"...
...*Said to someone random passing by* "Oh? You say I be nay wantin tha attack an unknown Orc. Ye daft fool"!
Bet ye all killed an Orc chieftain!!! Right"?
*Then in a poor stereotype of a human voice* -"They attacked poor old me first though."-
"Damable liars ye all be. Ye busted in thar Orc home, killin thar Orc Kin the whole way, and ye think -"O da Orc chieftain didn't talked to me"- Blah! Ye be tha bloody attackers, them Orc be defendin thar home! Ye all be bloody hypoctad, hyhopot, hypocrites, or what ever it be called"...
..."Me brother's beard be curlin up and blowin away if'n he hear tha I be da voice o logic here"!...
Some of these seem like he's just repeating something he'd heard others say.
Though it can be hard to get overly mad when one looks deeply into his legendary beard of Lass-Nip. It's not the longest of beards but it shimmers like silk, and is braided in such complex way that boggles the mind. It looks so ethereal that one in awe might expect it smells of wild flowers, and that blue birds fly about it singing songs of happiness.
It's even rumored that Tempus god of war cries out to Kehl Stonehold's beard in battle.
Or that staring at Kehl's beard for more then 5 minutes at a time has a 3.7% chance of getting a woman pregnant!
Every so often some clarity in his speech brakes through. Talking to random passerby's, or a Dwarf wearing a hooded cloak. The few understandable parts of his grumbled rants are...
..."Damable folks be lettin all sorts o Black Orc walkin abouts da Inn like tha nay be o war! Guess tha nay ever be lossin Kin, loved ones, and friends tha them beasts, like o real Dwarf or Elf be knowin all to well abouts"...
..."Bet thar be lettin Drow walk up to tha Inn and chat away as well! Be tha same... Ye blasted Drow lovin"...
..."Ye be knowin how tha get o half-Orc?! Nay be flowers and fine dining... it be brutal rape by them bloody Orc! Thar be da beasts arses ye kissin up to at da Inn"...
...*Said to someone random passing by* "Oh? You say I be nay wantin tha attack an unknown Orc. Ye daft fool"!
Bet ye all killed an Orc chieftain!!! Right"?
*Then in a poor stereotype of a human voice* -"They attacked poor old me first though."-
"Damable liars ye all be. Ye busted in thar Orc home, killin thar Orc Kin the whole way, and ye think -"O da Orc chieftain didn't talked to me"- Blah! Ye be tha bloody attackers, them Orc be defendin thar home! Ye all be bloody hypoctad, hyhopot, hypocrites, or what ever it be called"...
..."Me brother's beard be curlin up and blowin away if'n he hear tha I be da voice o logic here"!...
Some of these seem like he's just repeating something he'd heard others say.