A poorly written letter is handed to the guards at the Gate.
Posted: Mon Jun 24, 2013 7:36 pm
A blue skinned tiefling with a cocky swagger walks up to the guards at the entrance to The Gate and hands them a folded(reasonably folded anyways. . . for being stained and a bit crumpled) letter. "Oi, this 'ere is for Mistah Captain Norton, roigh'? Thanks guvnahs!", he says two the two guards as he passes the letter off, then turns on his heel and strides off rubbing his hands.
The letter is mostly legible, and it reads as follows:
"Allo' Mistah Captain Norton, your esteemedness. I be writin' yeh because I witnessed an attack out front of your City the other day and some bloke named Thedran told me I'd be eligible for a reward if'n I sent in this letter tellin' wot happened. So, 'ere it is oi!
A group of us was standing 'round the fire in front of The Gate, see? Was a couple fellahs talkin' to squirrels, and this elf bloke in shiney armor lookin' like a paladin or some such, and this lady in all blue with a hood, and another lady of the healin' persuasion, and meself roigh'... so this elfie bloke starts to have words with the lady in all blue see, and he goes on to explain that this lady in blue is worshipin' Auril, and Mistah Blue, that be me oi, can tell this elfy bloke and this lady in all blue, who be Azmodorf... or Asthmadeath... or some such, I can sees they don't be likin' each other. So the other fellahs who be talkin' to squirrels start asking the elfie about wot's so wrong about Asthmadeath being an Aurilite and such, see? So the elf bloke starts recitin' Aurils dogma like th' back of his hand oi, and how this looney frostie god lady be wantin' to cover Faerun in snow and ice and such... "Which sounds daft ta me", I says because g'luck freezin' the oceans and seas and not get poked in the eye by Umberlee, roigh'?! Anyways, here's the funny bit of the story oi, so old elfy bloke is tellin all about Auril and he may sound a little piked off, but he's not sayin' anything derogatory or such, and the frostie wench Asthmadeath says, "Oi! Says one more stupid thing bloke!". Which was hilarious to me because he's just learnin' us about Aurils daft dogma and plans roigh?"... so the elf says something else that weren't even half as offensive as wot I be mutterin' and POW! Up comes a big magic hand out of Asthmadeaths mouth and starts pummilin' this elf bloke to a pulp not fifty feet from the Gate see!! All the folks at the camp was pretty piked off at Asthmadeath at this point and the healin' type lady gave the elf bloke some healin', then the bloke ran off and got that Thedran fellah. I'm afraid yeh guards didn't come runnin' to help oi, that be a bit of an epidemic in these parts lately, and yeh should probably have a word with those two layabouts, but oi, I digress.
Anyways, that be me story and I be writin' it because that Thedran bloke said I'd be eligible for a reward, which would be really nice right now because I've been eating old boot soup for weeks oi. I be muckin' about near the Gate sometimes, so I'll check back with your guards sometime. I hopes those fellahs can be trusted to hold any reward for me and not go drink it away, oi? Cheers guvnah! Oi, err Mistah Captain Norton!"
Signed,
Mister Blue.
((written in tiny print a ways below it))Xavier Del'Armagio
The letter is mostly legible, and it reads as follows:
"Allo' Mistah Captain Norton, your esteemedness. I be writin' yeh because I witnessed an attack out front of your City the other day and some bloke named Thedran told me I'd be eligible for a reward if'n I sent in this letter tellin' wot happened. So, 'ere it is oi!
A group of us was standing 'round the fire in front of The Gate, see? Was a couple fellahs talkin' to squirrels, and this elf bloke in shiney armor lookin' like a paladin or some such, and this lady in all blue with a hood, and another lady of the healin' persuasion, and meself roigh'... so this elfie bloke starts to have words with the lady in all blue see, and he goes on to explain that this lady in blue is worshipin' Auril, and Mistah Blue, that be me oi, can tell this elfy bloke and this lady in all blue, who be Azmodorf... or Asthmadeath... or some such, I can sees they don't be likin' each other. So the other fellahs who be talkin' to squirrels start asking the elfie about wot's so wrong about Asthmadeath being an Aurilite and such, see? So the elf bloke starts recitin' Aurils dogma like th' back of his hand oi, and how this looney frostie god lady be wantin' to cover Faerun in snow and ice and such... "Which sounds daft ta me", I says because g'luck freezin' the oceans and seas and not get poked in the eye by Umberlee, roigh'?! Anyways, here's the funny bit of the story oi, so old elfy bloke is tellin all about Auril and he may sound a little piked off, but he's not sayin' anything derogatory or such, and the frostie wench Asthmadeath says, "Oi! Says one more stupid thing bloke!". Which was hilarious to me because he's just learnin' us about Aurils daft dogma and plans roigh?"... so the elf says something else that weren't even half as offensive as wot I be mutterin' and POW! Up comes a big magic hand out of Asthmadeaths mouth and starts pummilin' this elf bloke to a pulp not fifty feet from the Gate see!! All the folks at the camp was pretty piked off at Asthmadeath at this point and the healin' type lady gave the elf bloke some healin', then the bloke ran off and got that Thedran fellah. I'm afraid yeh guards didn't come runnin' to help oi, that be a bit of an epidemic in these parts lately, and yeh should probably have a word with those two layabouts, but oi, I digress.
Anyways, that be me story and I be writin' it because that Thedran bloke said I'd be eligible for a reward, which would be really nice right now because I've been eating old boot soup for weeks oi. I be muckin' about near the Gate sometimes, so I'll check back with your guards sometime. I hopes those fellahs can be trusted to hold any reward for me and not go drink it away, oi? Cheers guvnah! Oi, err Mistah Captain Norton!"
Signed,
Mister Blue.
((written in tiny print a ways below it))Xavier Del'Armagio



