To Belong... (the story of Ithilwen)

[Solaris]

A WANDERING SOUL: Ithilwen



It was 1149 DR when the monks of Oghma found her, a newborn elven child white as snow, lying right outside the gate of Candlekeep. They named her Ithilwen (Moon Maiden in Elven), for they knew nothing of her apart from her very race.

As she grew up, Ithilwen learned to know every nook and cranny of the fortress, and used her knowledge to thread unseen, skip her duties, and above all sneak in the low security sections of the librabry to read, a true passion of hers. On she read, book after book of every genre and utility under the benevolent yet watchful eyes of the monks. This was going to be the very foundation of her education as a Scholar, her quick mind greatly speeding up the process.

Since an early age, she showed a very evident talent for magic weaving and arcanery in general, even for elven standards. Rumors and speculation want her to have likely inherited the gift from her parents...Perhaps the words were meant to comfort the orphan, to give her a "piece" of family to hold on to, perhaps not.

Upon reaching an adult age (around 115, year 1264 DR), she departed from Candlekeep, feeling somewhat out of place by now. With the ones who raised her dead of old age, there was nothing left to counter the drive for exploration in her moon elven blood, which pulled her all along the Sword Coast from Baldur's Gate to Nashkell and beyond, through the Cloud Peaks. Her adventures gave her the occasion to refine her magic skills, as well as her ability to move unseen and unheard through more conventional means...But it's in the cold vise of the mountain tops that she had probably her most defining experience.

In the year 1311 DR (she was 162 years old, ca.), during one of her excursions she was cornered by a Frost Giant warband patrolling outside their Keep. She killed the monsters with great effort, but was also grievously wounded. With no strength left to make her way back to civilization, she was almost certainly going to die in the frozen wasteland if not for an elven hermit who found her and saved his kinswoman's life.

The Unknown moon elf was a very special kind of wizard, and when, during her recovery, he noticed her aptitude for spellcasting, he took her in as apprentice, and taught her a whole new way to use the weave: the Way of Ice and Frost. How to withstand cold, channel it, kill with it, become one with it.

Around the end of 1348 DR (few months ago, nearing the age of 200) Ithilwen's wanderlust once more took hold of her. Having learned all she could from her master, she once more decided to set out into the world, this time with the specific aim to discover the greatest mystery of her life so far: her origins.

Perhaps, finding pure elven communities could be the key to understand more about her past, and to finally find a place she could truly call home. The place Candlekeep and the Cloud Peaks have never been.

[Solaris]

The Aftermath


The dreams, the flashes... They appeared again.
How many times has she seen them now? She lost count...

The spinning arrow on a silver plate, beginning slowly but picking up momentum as it continues to rotate...
Then, a sudden, abrupt halt...pointing towards the direction of a rapidly rising sun.
Higher and higher, enormous, pulsating with heat and with such a massive, blinding light.
Before she can even raise her hand to shield her eyes,
the light gets swallowed by a thick darkness, coming in as fast as the wind itself...
The pale face of a woman, her horrified, soundless scream as the void engulfs her...
And then...Nothing...Darkness..Silence...

She wakes up out of her trance, gasping for air. She actually stops breathing when the dream comes...

The words of Aza are echoing in her head as he used to speak them to her so many times:
'breathe little one... it is over...it is just a dream...focus!'

As she regains control, the shapes around her become more clear and she can hear the sounds of children laughter and simple talk.
It takes her a while before she realises where she is ...

The village...

She looks out of the window with a smile. 'we managed to save it...save them all...' The battle was fierce but they took their stand and were victorious... they weathered the storm... they awoke from the nightmare.

Down below she sees children playing on the path she walked only a week ago for the first time with Priestess Elenthineth.
That was the moment she laid her eyes on the peaceful, tranquil...almost magical village. Could she call it home? Yes, perhaps she could feel at home here, for the first time in her over two centuries of life.



These people fought valiantly with her, side by side, their lives in each others' hands.
But did they really know her? Could they really accept her as she is? Could they one day be her family?


As she moves back from the window a jolt of pain shoots through her shoulder and she grimaces slightly.
She could have let one of the healers take care of it but she decided to push the pain away, numbing her feelings in the cold embrace of her gift as she had done so many times before.

She takes a deep breath as her mind wanders back to the battle, the day before.
The faces of her older friends and the new allies. The anxiety of what was to come, the fear to fail.
Their determination and courage as waves after waves of orcs came thundering down on against their position.

They fought valiantly as battle songs kept their spirits high, steel met steel and magical energies crackled all across the battlefield. She remembers the cries of the wounded, and the miraculous job the healers did in taking care of them.

She remembers the placing tactical weaves around the incoming orcs to aid her allies, as the well-disciplined battle force faced overwhelming odds.
Her long range spells blasted the enemy shamans in the distance, well behind the orc front, where they thought themselves safe... Let the steel be against steel...here is some magic against magic!
She remembers thinking with a grin as she froze solid one of the shamans, right before blasting him to pieces with a well placed Polar Ray weave.

At some point during the battle, One enormously muscled orc standing more than 2 meters tall broke through the first ranks of their troups, heading right for the area where the healers were doing their work.
Despite the chaos of battle, she noticed the hulking monster and his intentions, and quickly chanted in the arcane language as her weave abruptly stopped the orc's charge, the force spell holding him in place in a crushing vise.
The warriors quickly closed the gap and used the advantage to skillfully secure the kill, limiting the damage to a minimum.

As the attack waves lessened they tried to push forward, to hit right at the heart of the orc camp for the final blow.
Arrived at the location, the orc general surprisingly walked towards them with his hands up, offering a negotiation...
This caught her and her allies off guard... she surely did not expect a similar conduct from a black orc general... She expected the orcs to try and slaughter them, not parley...she smiles, remembering her confusion.

A duel to the death... two of us againt him...if we win, the orcs leave the forest...for good...
It did not make sense at all to her... they had them!
Aside from the risk involved for her friends, no matter what the outcome of that duel would be she was disturbed by the implications of accepting the word of an orc...

As she wondered about this she saw the Villi Champion Mendel and Akh'Aegis Laisren get ready for a duel to the death with the vile creature.
Measuring the general it was obvious this was not going to be an easy fight...
A fight, fierce and glorious was fought. One that many will sing of for the years to come...The greenskin's general was slain.
Chaos among the remaining orcs erupted, small groups running in, in rage at the loss of their leader. Once more
The elves fought hard, killing and driving the rest of the orc army away. Victory was theirs, at last...
They did not just win a war...they won their lives...their freedom... their home and families' safety.

She shoots a last glance through her room's window.
'yes, a new chapter of my life has begun...
please Lady of dreams, daughter of the night,... walk by my side, as you have done so many times before...'

[Solaris]

BEYOND DEATH

A lament could be heard in the tranquility of Dharasha. It began with the setting sun, unbroken, voices singing of the deeds he had done in life.
She counted the strikes of the bell that sounded in the dead of night.

1...2...3...

As a ghost she moved over the path that led out of the village, face covered deep within her cowl. A full moon lighting the way, enhancing the twitching, living shadow beneath her.

4...5...6...

The path took her to the edge of the village, towards a secluded glade. The sound of the bell slowly faded as her footsteps took her deeper into the forest, toward her destination. She walked on, till a place where a field of wild roses had grown. There, he laid to be prepared for his final journey.

7...8...9...

She saw his fragile frame, lying serene, looking almost comfortable in the flowerbed. As if he was sleeping, yet his face did not behold the same warm golden color it used to have. A smile appeared on her pale face. 'I don't think I have ever seen you so serene my old friend... At last it seems you have found peace. A peace that eluded you in life...'

10..11..12...

The bell was only a faint notice in the back of her mind now. A single tear fell down her cheek until it froze solid on her skin. 'If only...I wish I had...' Her voice broke and she simply remained silent as she lifted her head to the full moon that shined down on the small open spot in the forest. On the flowerbed where the wild roses grew.

'will you pray with me tonight sister?' She turned around, startled, as she heard the voice of Priestess Elethineth, her emotions sliding down her face instantly, like drops in a waterfall.

'Priestess' She bowed her head as she spoke the following words.
'Yes, I will join you in your wake and stand by his side tonight'

She stepped closer as Elethineth walked towards her with a smile, her face serene as ever. They each moved to a side of the fallen mage's body.

'take my hands...' Ithilwen locked hands with Elethineth as requested and silently listened as the priestess started her prayer to the One Father and the rest of the Seldarine. Asking for a safe passing of the lost soul towards Arvandor.

Memories passed by in her minds eye. Memories of the Archmage, last of Kalinor, lying next to her. How they fought together against impossible odds countless times, victory after victory.
The times they laughed together, the times they studied together.
The discussions they used to have and how stubborn and unyielding he could be, despite his general open-mindedness and sheer genius. Yes, how annoying he could be...Insufferable at times, really...She smiled sadly.
'This was not yet your time...It's not fair...'

'Concentrate, close your eyes...'

The voice of Elethineth broke her line of thoughts and she nodded solemnly and closed her eyes. Letting Elethineth's words guide her into a trance, she joined her prayer.

She breathed slowly, in and out, let her body relax, closing out all forest sounds around her. Until there was nothing but a void in her mind. Time passed by but she had no notice of it. Time in the void did not exist. Only she herself was there, the monotone voice of Elethineth sounding in the distance of her mind.

'Call out his name...'

She didn't know if she spoke his name out loud, or if it was a mere whisper or if she only thought his name, she didn't know.

'Kael...'

A darkness penetrated into the void, a blackness as a moonless night. She could feel another presence close to her own. Elethineth? No... this was someone else...

She squeezed her eyes tighter as a sudden shiver went through her body. All around her, the priestess and the fallen Archwizard, a thick fog came up, covering them. The fog crackled with energy, so much energy, like life force itself. Ithilwen however barely noticed, still hovering in the void of her mind, watching the blackness swirl around. Could it be?...No...he was on his way to Arvandor...his spirit would not be here. Not now...Not after the Helmite Priest himself failed to bring him back.

Still in the void, next to Ithilwen, Kael's corpse began to glow, the energy concentrating on the broken empty husk that was once his body. A finger moved, then the full hand... Glassy green eyes shot open, as dead lips gasped for air, drawing in the life force that was all around.

At the edge of her mind she could hear Elethineths voice, she could not make up her words but it did drive her back to a sense of consciousness.

'Welcome back brother'

A weak familiar voice sounded in her ears as if someone screamed it right at her.

'Sisters...it was your love that guided me back...'



Her eyes opened wide now, first staring into Elethineths eyes. she let go of Elethinets hands, lingering, not daring to look down. Elethineth smiled, talking to the oh so familiar voice she just heard. Ithilwen jumped back, she then managed to look down as she held her breath.

She saw his bloodshot eyes, his pale skin, his faint and weak smile...but he was breathing! Breathing... This could not be... Yet here he was!

She felt a swell of sheer joy deep within, pure happiness. She was screaming inside of excitement that her friend was back! Back... the seldarine be praised! She could hug him, kiss him, squeeze him until he could not breathe! Oh, no...better not that...he barely started breathing again, and was never the toughest individual to begin with...

But on the outside only a composed smile appeared on her cold, pale face.

'It is good to have you back brother...'

[Solaris]

Being watched


'breathe little one... it is over...it is just a dream...focus!'

Ithilwen breaks out of her reverie as Aza's words ring through her head once more. She looked around, trying to focus where she was. Mountains and a snowy terrain form slowly in her eyesight. She takes a deep breath as she places her bare feet on the snow. 'What happened to my boots?' ...'and the rest of my clothes for that matter'...

Confused she looked around, observing the in strange patterns formed ice-shard circles around her. The jagged dagger in the center of the mysterious pattern. Memories of last night incantations rushed back to her. She shakes her head slowly with a hint of irritation before picking up the dagger. she then carefully steps out of the pattern, avoiding the sharp ice-shards.

'Right...Now that obviously didn't work...'

She moved over to her clothes to get dressed and then walked on in the snow towards the mountain pass. She keeps walking down the mountain path until she reaches a small lake.

'Perhaps now... If I use my gift strong enough, you'll notice...'

She walked into the lake until the water comes waist deep. Her fingertips touched the water and she starts chanting in the strange arcane language. The surface of the lake begins to freeze over. First slowly, then faster and faster until the whole surface is frozen with a layer of ice except for a small ring around herself.



Her shadow starts twitching more violently the more she used her gift. As if the shadows itself came alive. More and more it moved until it split in two, one staying with her, twitching violently, the other dancing away from her.


She turned toward the shadow that moved away from her.
'Now stop! What do you want!'

The shadow turned towards her, it seemed as if it was laughing at her even if she did not hear anything. She lashed out a polar ray towards it but the shadow simply dodged it. It remained still for some seconds then vanished into thin air.

Exhausted Ithilwen stopped channeling and dragged herself back to shore.
'This does not work...'

Frustrated she pondered for quite some time. It always seemed to be there, whenever she touched her gift. Watching, observing. The shadows always had been her friend, she welcomed them. But this one had something odd about it and she could not explain what it was...

Tired she weaved a teleportation towards the misty forest, towards home... Yet she could not shake off the feeling something, or someone, was still watching, observing her every move...

[Solaris]

Ghost


A middle aged man throws out his fishing line in a small creek at the edge of the misty forest. He is in a foul mood. The fish do not seem to bite this day. The wind is gusty and throws his hair in front of his eyes to his even greater dismay. He plants his fishing rod in the edge of the creek to find something to bind his hair away. As he places the rod, a gust of wind blows a piece of parchment in his face.

'what the... that's it!'

He snatches the paper from his face and just before he wants to tear it in two he notices the delicate handwriting. Intrigued, he sits down next to his rod, wipes the hair out of his eyes and starts reading.


Invisible...

That seems to be my life.
No one truly sees... No one really cares to see...
Many deeds are steered by me, yet no one notices me, no one remembers my name in the end...

Who really sees through me? Knows me for who or what I am?
One perhaps...who might be taken by a cruel 'trick' of fate.

See if I care in the end...

I am shadow, I am spectre...

The man pears over the piece of parchment one more time. Then sneers. 'By the gods what bollocks... must be a woman'

He lets the wind take hold of the parchment once more. Which guides it gently in the water of the stream. The ink mixing with the fresh flowing water. It washes away the written words...

[Solaris]

She watched as the black robed mage stepped towards the ghostly figure. Anger boiled inside her at the sight of the one calling himself 'Trickster', but on the outside nothing but a frozen mask covered her true feelings. This figure, that had hurt and took so many of her new found family. The one that took away Kael, who she and Elethineth had brought back with so much effort when she thought he was lost forever.

But did she? Even now, as she observed him, she felt the change in him. The darkness... She knew he would never be the one he was before his passing, and this Trickster was the cause of all of it.

She could feel her gift pulsating through her body, ready to lash out. She knew better however. This was no mere mage. Few mages on the plane could even approach her power level, but this one did outmatch her... by far. It was no mere mortal who stood before her, of that she was certain.

"I think not. If you tell us how to stop you, you can either tell us the truth and envision us not taking the hint believing it a lie, or tell us a lie and hope we follow your advice in the illusion it's a path to victory. Either way, you cannot be certain we will fail. Your logic is flawed".

She heard Kael speak but the words did not reach her, another voice whispered in her mind. A voice sounding as innocent and sweet as she never heard before, luring her, tempting...

...Tockgôaz... You can end this... You can feel it. Just accept my help...

She shook her head as if to shake the voice away. She focused back on the scene before her. Grimm, the more than ugly dwarf she just met a few moments before the appearance, Aiden and her friends from Dharasha. All ready to attack if the signal were given.

Tockgôaz... embrace it, let go...you know you want to...

Ithilwen blinked once, thinking a reply to the voice in her head. Go away, I do not need your help. who or whatever you are... GO!

"You...you interest me. Just like Cecilia... and Aiden (yes, I see you, trying to hide over there...come back here, at once)...You will see me again soon. I am not done with you".


The Trickster in one of his shapes

She heard the words the Trickster spoke to Kael, her rage increasing inside her. Fueled by the voice tempting her, fueled by another threat made to one of her friends. Frustration building up as she truly wished to tap into that immense energy source, waiting just around the corner.

Her fists clenched around the daggers she was holding, her nails digging in her flesh as she tried not to give in.

Embrace it! Destroy the creature threatening your friend... it is your destiny to take it, Tockgôaz!

A hint of her inner struggle showed on her face. No, I can do without... I have no need for you... I'll deal with this Trickster by myself! Anger and frustration of the conflict inside her filling her voice, she cried out:

"No! Not again! After all we have done to get him back, you will not take him again! I will not allow this!".

But the Trickster was gone, no reaction or sign he even acknowledged her challenge

[Solaris]

A Ghostly Encounter

It was dark when she slipped into the crypt. A place of nightmares come true. Hidden in shadows she descended, avoiding the the flickering torchlight circles.

Mummies walked around aimlessly. No surprise, that is what eternity and lack of mind do to a being. She moved on, close to the wall, deeper and deeper into the crypt.

Why did she come here in the first place? She needed answers, yes, but was this the only possibility? She started to second guess her initial plan... She heard this place touched close to the Shadow Plane. But that seemed unlikely, now that she was treading these ancient halls. All sorts of things could wait for her here, especially now the entity following her seemed to increase in strength. She was definitely not so sure of her planned course of action any longer...

As she moved onward, deep into the crypt her steps became more hesitant. It felt as if the walls were watching her... many eyes peering out of every shadowy spot or corner.

She froze, pressing herself against the wall as she heard an eerie whisper. She looked around but all saw were dancing shadows in the faint orange firelight. Another whisper...this time closer...

Give it!...Give it, as promised...

She turned towards the direction of the whisper. Her eyes scanned the door she just entered. A shadowy swirl moved away from it, in the direction she came from.

That voice... could it be what she heard during her encounter with the Trickster? Was this finally it? What she came for?

She stayed hidden in the shadows, slowly moving her way back towards the direction in which the shadow creature fled. It kept on vanishing, only appearing erratic and vague. It kept on whispering, repeating what it said before.

Give it...give it... Give it as promised...

The spirit took a side turn, and as she followed, she started wondering...
This voice, it was very different than the one she heard before. It sounded angry, obsessed. There was nothing tempting or soothing about it.

The corridor ended in a small room with an altar in the center. What looked like a dark priest was standing in front of it, chanting softly, his back turned towards her. She slowly entered the room, working her way up via the walls.
As she came closer she could make up the monotone words of the chanting priest. He was holding what looked to be a ring.

'You will be subject to me, spirit!
I bind you, spirit.
I bind you to my service with this ring,
The ring you long for, I bind you.
With the task undone, which I will never let you complete,
I bind you!'

She could almost taste the vileness of this act. Soulbinding in the most crude and evil form! Whatever this voice was, whatever the creature. She could not let this go on. she had to stop it! she stepped out of the shadows as she started weaving a spell of her own.

Startled the priest turned around towards her.
'who are you? Who...'

Before he could finish his sentence an immense ray of pure cold energy hit the priest in the chest, freezing it solid until its body cracked and shattered in thousands of ice crystals to the ground.

'That is something you will never know...' Her voice was as cold as the energies she evoked.

She turned towards the altar. The golden ring still in the center of it. It looked like what humans use as wedding rings. A plain one, nothing special about it. She tried to probe it with her gift. The binding did not hold yet. It was just a plain, unremarkable, golden ring. She let out a sigh of relief as she picked it up.

Give it...Give it, as promised...



The room turned cold, a spirit took shape right in front of the altar. She stared at the ghost, the ring still in her hand.

'Who are you?'

No real answer came, other than what it had repeated before.

Millie...Need to complete my task. Give it, as promised...

She studied the spirit

Millie, is this the person you were supposed to give this ring? What happened? Will it give you rest if she gets this ring?

The spirit answered her only in half answers. Millie...Millie Cionson...I wanted to ask her to marry me...Her father...a candlemaker in Baldur's Gate...

She caught up some words, but then a voice whispered in her head. Tempting her with its luring touch.

Finish it...Use the ring...you know how to do it! Use his soul...you need its power. Feel it!

She stood there, frozen for a moment. Contemplating what to do. Her fist closed tighter around the ring as she watched the spirit. Her own mind, split in two. Only a second passed but it felt like a lifetime. She shook her head, pushing the voice out of her mind. Words of the spirit caught her again.

When she gets it...I can leave...

Ithilwen nodded slowly. 'It is time for you to find your rest. I will take this ring to Millie, fulfill your task. I will search out her name in the Balduran Archives'

With this she left the crypt and the spirit and traveled with a teleportation weave towards the city. After asking a few residents, (some more friendly than others) within Baldur's Gate where to find the registry she arrived at the Shelf of Many Books within the palace district.

A woman at the counter told the purple robed elf that the person she looked for, in fact, worked right there. She was taken to the back area where she met an elderly, graying woman. A typical old spinster some would call her.

Are you the one called Millie Cionson?

The old lady turned around with a book in her hand she was about to place on one of the shelfs.

Who is asking?

My name is Ithilwen, I come here with a message from someone that once held you very dear.

She hold up the gold ring for Millie to see.

Sveyn? Clearly emotionally touched, Millie looked at the ring.

He wanted you to have this ring. He was traveling to your father, to ask your hand in marriage when disaster struck. Now that the ring is delivered, he will find peace. His task is fulfilled.

She handed the golden ring to Millie

Sveyn, it has been more than thirty years! I knew he just didn't leave...that something must have happened. Thank you! Thank you for returning this ring to me. I...I would like to be alone now. If you ever need a book, return here and I see if I can help you.

Ithilwen smiled Of course, I understand. I will visit you again...I love books. Be well, Millie Cionson.

She gazed at her one last time before leaving the Shelf of Many Books.
cities...not my place. Too many people... Once in an isolated area right outside the East Gate, she wove a Travel spell once more and appeared right in the desired glade, amidst the Misty Forest. Home.

As she walked towards the village, she pondered.
The good deed should have given her some satisfaction, but somehow it made her feel empty inside. Only she herself knew how close she had been to fall...to walk into the shadow...

[Solaris]

First Contact

It was late already. The village slowly prepared for a quiet night and the most of the people wandered around in search for their rooms. Her friends were still content celebrating their victory of the day in the tavern as Ithilwen moved to the edge of the village, close to the waterfall. With a hint of irritation she acknowledged she drank a bit too much this evening. The road did not seem to stop moving underneath her, making a steady pace basically impossible.

She sat down at the edge of the pond in a not so elegant manner and buried her head in her hands while placing her elbows on her knees.
So this is what Kael feels like when he had too much, she though as she leaned over to the water. The moonlight lit water showed her a dark face staring back at her. She tried to focus but the face kept on turning. With a sigh she fell backwards in the grass, her eyes sought the moon that showed her outline right in the opening of the trees. The night sky seemed to tumble and turn in front of her.

'Can't you stay still?...Where have you been anyway when I needed you the most...'

She closed her eyes as she took in a deep breath. She should be happy, content with what they achieved today. But not even the many mugs of mead and the laughter of her friends could remove this gnawing feeling she felt inside. The entity, she could not sense it anymore but she knew it was not gone. They gave it a blow, that was obvious, but it was far from over. In fact, it turned out to be much stronger than she first anticipated. Perhaps it had been a mistake in the first place to search the thing out in its own domain.

She opened her eyes as she stared up to the moon.
Why didn't you warn me? Why did you let me put my friends in danger?

She knew however, they would never have let her go in there alone. This is what family does for each other, she thought as a smile formed around her lips. 'This is what I always searched for..family...'
And yet, she endangered that family... Her smile died on her lips as the thought crossed her mind. Memories of earlier today flashing before her.

As soon as they entered the plane of shadows she sensed it was a trap. This was exactly where the creature wanted them. Playing her, toying with them on its grounds, its domain. The voice sounded so strongly in her head, laughing and taunting. It was there to simply pick up its prize as she presented herself right to its doorstep.

It had been dark, so dark that even her eyes could barely make out anything around her. It seemed to be an old ruined city, covered in shadow and darkness. They knew very well they simply had to adapt. Using any form of light source would attract the creatures of shadow to them like moths to the flame. But even without it they did not have to wait long until eerie creatures came looming around, sensing the living.



Welcome my priiize!... Come out and find me! If you can...

The haunting laughter and taunting voice in her mind would not stop as they made their way through a vast variety of shadow creatures and other dark beings.


It is THEM that will never leave...YOU are here only for a visit...yesss'


That voice, it even gave her out of all beings, cold shivers down her spine. It was so strong in her mind, so overwhelming. She looked at her friends one by one as they cut down the creatures in front of them. Kael evoked elemental forces, making them fall in great numbers at a time, mixing with her own weaves. Mendel, dancing and cutting through them like a killing wind. And then Grimm... she seldom saw anyone more sturdy, resilient and so deadly with an axe than that stout dwarf.

There seemed to be no end to the creatures. Trap after trap, draining their energy. An especially clever one was a horse skeleton they found on the ground. It burned, flames licking around the bones. Fuel for the fire long gone, yet it burned brightly. They stopped there, fascinated that something like a fire could even exist in this plane. A mistake as the fire itself was a flashing beacon to be seen from far in such a dark place. The shadow beings streamed in from over the ruined city walls, attracted to the light, sensing their lifesource so close to it. They had to run and put great distance between them and the fire to break the detection from those beings drawn to the light.

The voice laughed with full confidence in her mind as she realized it was just toying with them. Give me yourrrr Mind! I will spare them... give innn to meee!


The voice became stronger, they had to be close now. She could feel its intensity increasing. Its eyes watching her every move. A voice so sweet, tempting her to give in. Surrender...
It sounded all so logical. Why would she not? She glanced at her companions, all quite spent and battered, pulling on their last energy reserves. If she just...
'No! I am done playing games... show yourself!'
A sensation of the being engulfed her, drawing her towards its location. They were close, very close...

A garden loomed up in front of them. Not a beautiful blooming garden. No, quite the opposite. Broken, dark and ragged... Nothing but a shadow of a garden. It teemed with negative energy, she could feel it. A glance at Kael beside her told her he was sensing the same. They moved in with caution, Mendel first, followed by the rest. There was nothing to be seen apart from darkness and unreal plantlife. Despair hovered all over the place.

She sensed the entity had to be close, very close. Now where in the hells was it!
Mendel's urgent whisper came out all of a sudden. 'Over here! Behind those trees!...'
She glances to the location her brother pointed out to her but all she saw was blackness. There was nothing...Unless... Her eyes widened as the shadows started to swirl, taking shape. And there it stood, the entity. A haunting creature of shadow, as cold and dark as the dead of a winter night itself.

I am..hunger.... I am... Thirst...I am... Darkness...I am...the Voice...

The creature spoke out loud now, it resonated in her mind but she noticed, almost in a daze, her companions could hear it as well.

You will be the key, my priiiize....you...will be the Gate!

Shadows engulfed her as she stared at the creature, frozen as she took it in as it stood in front of her. Mendel did not hesitate a moment and moved between her and the entity protectively.
She heard Kael's voice next to her, filled with focused rage: 'Gate, you say? Why, I can provide you one...a Deathgate...'

'No! I need answers! I...' She tried to move past Mendel who stopped her as he himself addressed the creature: 'You cannot have her! I will not allow this!'
The creature grew in size all of a sudden, towering high above them as it laughed, a haunting, distorted laugh. It lashed out for Ithilwen with a claw-shaped, shadowy arm. She sensed Kael's weaving next to her as she moved into shadow herself, trying to dodge the claw coming for her.



Things happened fast after that, shadowy creatures coming closer from all directions launching an attack at them as the entity tried to grab her. as she looked around she saw her friends engaged in combat with the entity. She started weaving herself and a fierce battle took place that drained her fully.

The entity got hit hard, it filled with anger, lashing around at them as the group increased their attacks on it, before it suddenly vanished. Dissipating in shards of black mist and shadows. Screams of rage filling the area before nothing but the shadowy garden was left. The intense blackness had lifted from it. It was gone...

Ithilwen closed her eyes once more as she took in a deep breath. She could feel the soft grass underneath her. The spinning of the moon seemed to have lessened and she could focus more properly now. She remembered the voice of the entity as it was gone. A scream of pain and anger. it sounded far away. wounded... but by no means was it gone... Of that, she was certain...

[Solaris]

Returned...

She smiled as she watched the water run down from the rock at the edge of the village. It had been a long and troubling day. It felt good to forget about everything for a moment and just sit and stare at the waterfall. All the thoughts that had been occupying her for days and days, to let them glide away with the water, wash away. Even that nagging hunger she felt lately, she could almost forget. No meal seemed to fill the empty knot she felt inside her somehow. But rest, yes, that is probably all she needed to make everything go away.



A footstep close by disturbed her in her tranquil thoughts. She looked around and noticed the guard behind her. With a slight hint of dismay she turned around again.

A wonderful idea her brothers had earlier this day. Both Kael and Mendel insisted she would be guarded at all times from now on. Now she did not only have to suffer the eyes of shadow, but even other eyes, watching her in everything she did. She hated the idea and it made her furious inside. The First Wizard does not need protection! She could deal with whatever came for her, herself! Besides, how could guards protect her from shadows anyway? Unless... An unpleasant thought struck her all of a sudden. Unless, they believed she herself could do something...

The voice had returned. First very weak when they searched for reagents in the temple of the snake people. She hoped it was just her imagination. It could not be back this fast could it? How powerful could this being be? But then she heard it again as she went in reverie two days ago. A dream so haunting she broke out of it covered in cold sweat.

It's voice sounded as cries of damned souls bound to one.
Images of shadow, darkness floating into a world of color...
Wherever the shadow touched it drained, tainted, withered, killed...
Especially its last words still echoed in her mind.

'ThrouGH you, I wiLL be FreE...TOGETHER we will FEAST!'

Today she heard the voice again. When she, Kael and Grimm searched out the giants in their frosted keep. It seemed to like the devastation she and her friends brought to the giant population. Enjoying the killing, the blood-smears covering the ice. It made her feel uncomfortable and she had to get out of there.

As they took shelter close to the temple of Auril, they met Mendel. Kael started to ask questions on her behavior in the frost keep. She noticed the worry in his eyes and it was then that she decided to tell them of the dream. Not everything though, the last part she kept for herself. She did not need to worry them more as needed, and moreover, she did not know how they would react to it. She could hear the voice echoing again. 'TOGETHER we will FEAST!...'


That is where they decided she needed to be guarded at all times from now on. To limit her need for shadowalking, they said. Of course she refused! She was being watched enough already. Her disagreeing and unwillingness to walk with guards made Kael almost explode with anger. She didn't think she ever saw the elf more angry. Mendel had to calm him down as she kept on refusing stubbornly. He would not take no for an answer however and now it was he that almost never left her side. Close-by, keeping an eye on her, whenever she left the village and even inside the village. On different circumstances she would probably not even have minded so much, perhaps even enjoyed it, but now it just felt as a restriction to her freedom. For his sake however, she accepted the two guards that were now standing behind her at the small pond as he did his research.

Speaking of research... It was time to head back. The best defense is a good offense after all. She stood up from the bench and moved towards her chambers, two guards in tow behind her...

[Solaris]

Crossing over...


It was getting late. The sun stood quite low on the horizon and it would not take much time for dusk to set in. Ithilwen scanned her surroundings. The High Moor, a barren wasteland it seemed to her. Especially in this particular area. The color grey was everywhere around her, in all varieties. She looked up to Mendel and Catam.

'It was indeed a pleasure to have met you lady Ithilwen. I will try to contact Lady Luthien on this subject.'

She nodded once before he vanished from sight and she walked back to the others. Sir Aelcar conversed with Lady Marigold while Grimm was inspecting his axe. Nai moved close to Mendel in her dragonshape but turned around suddenly. She spotted something close by. A masked woman who seemed to have spied on them, stalking around them.

As they were questioning this mysterious individual, Marigold moved away from the group, her alert gaze staring in the distance. Ithilwen noticed Aelcars look as he observed his friend, and followed his stare.
The priestess started to move back to the group, but then she watched over her shoulder once more, and stopped for a moment. She then came running towards the group and as soon as she entered hearing distance she spoke with urge: 'We are being observed from the distance. I saw a shadow-like creature, as soon as I came closer it hid from me.'

As soon as the word "shadow-like" was uttered Mendel told Nai to stay close to Ithilwen. Aelcar, Grimm and Mendel himself moved forward, trying to get a glimpse of what Marigold was mentioning. Ithilwen moved forward as well but she did not see anything. Only when she looked again she could see movement in the coming darkness up the hill. She could hear Grimm speak out what she was thinking: Oh no, not again...' She glanced shortly to the masked female that did not seem to realize what was going on and kept on babbling about wards. She shook her head slightly and watched in the distance where more and more moving dark shapes could be finally seen clearly.

They did not have to wait long before a first wave of shadows loomed up right in front of them. Gliding towards them, circling them.

'This is not a suitable position to defend, we are getting surrounded. We need to find chokepoints and set up a defensive perimeter, possibly well illuminated.' She could hear Aelcar who took point position closely followed my Marigold, Mendel and Grimm. More waves moved in as the voice sounded in her head.

'I sSee you...Hiding behind your fRriendSs, hiding in the light...Step out of the light! EmbraCce your true nature!'



No...No! This could not be! They could not be on this plane. They never crossed over before. How could it be here?! She watched around as in a daze, chaos all around as the creatures attacked them, wave after wave. She saw her friends cutting them down, steel cleaving through darkness. Her own weaves aiding them, destroying one shadow after the other, but they seemed to have no end as more and more creatures moved in from all sides.

sStEpp out of the Light...I can make you SstrOng!'

Nai never left her side and it was her voice that brought her attention back to focus on the situation at hand, ignoring the whispers in her head. Nai mentioned to bring Ithilwen back to the village as it would be safer. She would use her tree-stride ability to move from the combat-zone immediately. Sir Aelcar spoke in favor of it, if there was the possibility to do so. Ithilwen however had her concerns. What if the entity followed her? What if they led it right into the village? Nai assured her that her method would be untraceable by magical means yet Ithilwen was not convinced. They still knew little of the creature and what if it had other methods to follow them? It had managed thus far, even across the planes... No, she would not move away. She would stay with them. Whatever the outcome.

They found a defensible position between two small hills. They set up a perimeter of torch and magical light, and they fought off the waves of creatures coming for them until the wan morning sun could be seen rising on the horizon. She could still hear the voice in her head, hissing in anger, but more distant. The sun made its travel higher into the sky and the shadows grew thinner and smaller, the attacks stopped after what seemed to have been a never ending night.

Tired, the group took care of their wounds. Ithilwen watched as the masked woman moved off without saying anything, vanishing out of sight moving south. She honestly had forgot about her until now. A strange one to put it lightly. Marigold's voice took her out of her pondering, and she turned towards the priestess:

These creatures, why were they here? Was this the being you were talking of?'

Ithilwen simply nodded slowly before she spoke.

'Yes, but how it got here onto this plane I do not know. I believed it to be impossible. Up until now it only sounded in my head. It is a bad sign it could cross over.'

Marigold mentioned theories about rifts, not detectable from this side but Ithilwen knew this was probably unlikely... They were here because of her... she was the gate. How the entity did it she did not know, but she knew she was the beacon.

She felt tired all of a sudden, and not because of the fight that lasted all night. She could hear the others theorize and talk around her but her own mind was filled with only one thing. The entity crossed over to this plane and she was its gate... If this was true she could form a serious danger to the village. A danger she'd rather take away from it. No one should get hurt because of her...No one...

[Solaris]

Insubordination


It was getting late as she walked deep within the misty forest. It must have been candlemarks ago that she left the village. The guards were still in front of her door most likely. A wizard has many ways of moving unseen, she thought with a slight smile. She looked up to the trees and glanced around. No, not even the bat, Nightwing, seemed to be around any longer. Perhaps she finally made enough distance between herself and the village.

Ithilwen moved towards a small opening within the forest. The last rays of the sun lightened the place only partially but a hangover rock with an old pine next to it would provide enough shelter for the night she thought. She sat down with her back against the rock and placed her bag in front of her. With all the orcs around she did not dare to make a fire or any light for that matter. Not the best solution given her current predicament she thought with a hint of irritation. The orc tracks had been far off this place as far as she could tell. She pulled her bag closer and started taking out silver. 'This will have to do instead of light then' she muttered. Rings, bracelets, necklaces... She put them on and huddled closer to the rock.

The sun was setting, it would get dark soon. She felt a knot of anxiety in her stomach. Would it come for her this very night? At least, she was alone, in a secluded area ... Who would look for her here? She took out an apple and started eating it. Not that it would satiate her hunger, another thing that bothered her of late...

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. It did not matter what happened either way... Yes, this was the right decision. At least now she could be certain the village was safe. She would not bring any danger to it if she stayed away. Fhaeo's words lingered in her head. 'What if others like paladins would notice you attract shadow creatures? They might think Dharasha was involved with shady and evil practices.'
Or Lady Luthien. 'Why did you listen to Deacon! You'd make a widow out of me with your irresponsible behaviour! Especially in your current situation it is foolish to undertake such endeavors!' The eerie voice of the entity joined in. 'YouR pATh is oNe of sorROw and SOLitudE.... It alWays HAS been.'
She saw the giant shadowy claw come for her, she wanted to run but she was trapped, her feet frozen to the ground. Right before the claw took her she opened her eyes.

Startled she heard the flapping of wings. The forest was in almost complete darkness, nothing but trees around her. She must have had a dream as she went in reverie. The wings again, she watched in the direction the sound came from. A twig cracked and she moved closer to the rock. It could be just an animal, or an orc... or something worse, even. She pressed herself closer to the rock, watching as she let some of her gift trickle to her hand, ready to lash out if needed...

When she saw the dark figure, cloaked in mists and shadows, her instincts took over. She channeled one of the deadliest weaves in her arsenal of frost spells, empowering it with her own special weaving technique. The Polar Ray froze everything in the close proximity of its path towards the dark figure, and stopped mere inches short of the approaching man. The dark clad individual sighed heavily. "Fortunately, I have a set of quickened weaves to deal with this kind of inconvenience...except, I did not expect to need them with you. A weave of that strength...what did you want to do, destroy the Misty Forest?" Archmage Kael chuckled in relief, either for being still alive, for having found his sister in time, or both..."Can I ask you, in the name of the bloody Seldarine, what do you think you are doing out here alone this close to dusk? Aside from trying to kill me, because that much is obvious..."

She blinked as she recognized the voice of the man before her and takes a step backwards. 'How...I could have killed you! What am I doing here? I could ask you the exact same thing!' A hint of worry and anger could be heard in her voice. She takes a deep breath and lowers her voice. 'Isn't it obvious what I am doing here? I did what I should have done a long time ago. Leave the village. I am a threat to my own people. I have lived alone for over two centuries. It seems Aza was right in the end... I'll stay here, where I won't be a burden to anyone. I'll face my trouble alone.' Ithilwen crossed her arms and turned away from him. 'Go before full darkness falls...'

"Of course I will go...and you are coming with me. I will Travel, otherwise darkness will be upon us well before we reach safety...As for keeping your people safe...how exactly are you doing that? Once this entity had its way with you...who do you think will be next? Will this thing let those that know the truth live? I don't think so...and neither should you. This is bigger than you and me. You heard the rumors...you know what I discovered. It will not be stopped. Your death will only be the beginning..." He turned away, hiding his expression, then he utters in a blank tone: "Come with me...you know I am right." Then, after a short pause: "I don't want to lose you...I am not going anywhere without you."

Ithilwen glanced towards him, considering his words. The shadowcreature could indeed go for Dharasha once it took her. If it took her. She had no intention to let that happen. But was she strong enough alone? She simply had to be, there was no other option. She had to keep her family safe. 'No Kael, you have to go back. I will face this thing alone. You know my strength. I'll have to do this and you must return in case...' She paused. 'In case I fail. They will need you then. Besides, you heard the Akh'Aegis, I might attract the wrong kind of attention to the village. It is better this way.' She took a step towards him. 'You must go back.'

The dark wizard mutters some horrid curse against everything that is known as holy in the Prime Material Plane in an immaculately blank tone, before weaving. A gust of wind pushed Ithilwen from the back, gently but firmly shoving her into the Archmage's arms as he turned around. "Of course, First Wizard...always at your service" He Quickened a Travel weave towards Dharasha. She recognized the formula despite the shock, her eyes widening as he channeled. He did not give her a chance to stop him, and as his lips touched hers they disappeared in a brilliant white light.



Back at the village

[Solaris]

Visions


Ithilwen huddled in to a corner of the small study chamber. Only a single candle provided the light within the room, casting a moving shadow on the wall behind her.

'Just stay away...don't come closer...'

Kael licked his wounded lip, a few drops falling on the black velvet of his robe, leaving almost invisible bloodstains. She expected anger, or irritation, but there was only interest in his emerald gaze. A loremaster's curiosity, cold and devoid of feeling.

"You hurt me. Deliberately, and without reason. Fascinating...do you have anything to say to explain this? Do you even know why you bit me? If you were intent to harm me, you'd certainly employ deadlier means, I wager...

Ithilwen took a deep breath, then let the air out slowly

"I... it just...happened. I think you should keep your distance from me. Especially when the emptiness and the hunger is this strong. You seem to amplify it somehow... I can't explain..."

She looked away from him, focusing her eyes on the window where the moon slowly but steady was showing her face through the glass as she rose up in the dark forest sky.

The moon... Ithilwen's mind wandered back to the divination of only two nights ago.

The square, Luthien in front of a brazier, reluctantly tossing in an ametrine, a fire opal, a sapphire and an emerald. She asked her question then to the elder father: which of the two methods suggested - communion or ambush - would work best to deal with the creature and save Ithilwen's soul.
The fire somehow consumed the gems, creating a bluish smoke which then formed...a picture...a vision...


The night sky is still and dark, silence surrounding the priestess as she looks up for a sign. Only the gentle breeze can be heard.

Then, she sees it, a star winking out, then another, then another. A patch of blackness in the sky. Hungry. Malevolent.

It seems to shiver. It grows. Slowly spreading...

Then, out of it, rush two birds. One to the left, silver bright, arcing towards the crescent moon. One to the right, shimmering with blue magical light, skimming across the field of stars.
The blackness lurches after both birds.

The Silver bird skims ahead. The darkness cannot catch it. Yet it does not recede, spreading still as it lunges, almost angry in its motions.

In the opposite direction, the blackness recoils from the trail of light left by the Blue bird . It withers, fading, ceasing to spread. Yet even as it is seemingly defeated, thin tendrils can be seen locking onto the bird, and it spins desperately, pained.

The arc of the two birds pans round, whether by intent or by accident is uncertain. They begin to fly towards each other, into each other, and at that moment there is a flash and they both disappear - as does the shadow.

The smoke fades then...



Those birds, were they really the symbols of both plans? What about the blue bird... Wasn't she herself the blue bird maybe? And what of that silver bird... Luthien was pretty clear on the meaning of it all. But there was no real evidence, no touchable proof that what she claimed was true. Have faith, she said... Have faith...

"Ithilwen...do you hear me? Ithilwen, are you with me?

Ithilwen looked up as Kael gripped her shoulder tightly with his left hand. Her gaze focused on him once more.

"I'm sorry I was lost in thought... what did you say?"

Kael took a deep breath and muttered something about repeating himself and murderous mood before saying once again what he had said several times already in the last few minutes:

"That you seemed to like the killing... I watched you in the snake temple. You were physically relieved after each kill...dancing in and out of the shadows, as if feeding them with each kill...or feeding from them. Your hunger was gone, and the relief you felt was amplified by my closeness...just like the ill effects are. I want to know when you noticed this the first time...and I want to know why you thought a brilliant idea not to inform me."


She sighed as she pressed both her fists on her stomach.

"I... I was relieved. Relieved that the numb aching pain inside subsided. Even if it doesn't last long, it was almost gone as soon as I took the life out of the creatures. Sucked it out, letting it fill me. I noticed it, right there and then in the temple."

She paused before continuing, then lifted her head towards him.

"The numb and empty feeling is increasing Kael. At first, slowly...very slowly. So I thought I was just tired or did not eat enough. Perhaps it was the stress that came with the recent events but now... Every single day it increases noticeably. The only way to stop it...is to kill."

The dark wizard's eyes brimmed with power, as his lips curved into a terrible smile:

"So...you just need to kill, is that all? Ah, well...that can be put to good use, for the time being...There is always someone, or something, that deserves to die...

He laughed, and his laughter had nothing humanoid in it: a sinister noise, like broken glass dragged on marble...a noise that could hardly be imagined as the product of an elven, living throat

"...But do not think for a moment I will forget this, my dear. What this thing is doing to you. I will make it pay for every second, and every meaningless life it costs...My revenge will be terrible...

I shall be mindful...make no mistake...

Ithilwen watched him, her gaze lingering on him with a hint of true worry, and for a moment she was not sure what made a more frightening imagine. The shadow entity or the archmage...

[Solaris]

The Persistence of Loss





This was not how it should be. It had been a victory, she could not deny that, but the cost had been too high. Way too much to let it feel like a success at all. Her hunger was gone, but an even bigger emptiness inside her replaced it. Consuming her from deep within...

'It will be alright, we'll destroy this beast!' She watched him as she stood in Deacon's circle of dimmed lightorbs. She looked around once more, seeing Mendel, Grimm and Deacon stand ready, just outside the circle. She knew Nai, Elethineth and the others were waiting on top of the ridge to spring the trap once the creature would show itself. Her eyes turned back on his black shape. His features mostly covered in the dark velvet robes. As she did she noticed something was approaching, something dark and malevolent, and that something came for her. 'Put on the blindfold, This is going to hurt...'
She nodded once and covered her eyes, not knowing yet that this would be the last time she would see him.

She heard Deacon's voice chanting, the circle of orbs were lighted to stop the shadow. She could sense its minions all around, even without seeing anything. She heard screams and sounds of battle. The hunger became almost unbearable and with great effort she kept on standing.

Something went wrong there and then. Where was Nai? Where were the others? She could not hear them and the blindfold only gave her partial notice of the battle. Not that it would have made much difference. In the state she was in right now the light would have blinded her anyway. At least the burning pain would be less now.

Too many, she sensed too many of them. All around. Where was the backup? A surging hunger went through her as she could hear the entity's voice in her head. 'YoU Can'T Hide FrOm me... sTep iN tHe sHadOw anD I'll mAke iT Sstop!'

She could hear screams around her, people fallen, people wounded...
Deacon speaking something about the mage. As she tried to focus on what was happening around her she could make out a stronger being. Beckoning for her, standing right outside the circle of light. It was luring her and part of her wanted to. Longed for it to be in shadow. But she kept standing, fighting the inner battle.

'CaN yUo Tasste It! YeSSsss! TogHether we will fEast! He is MiNe NoW!...Step into sHaDow...I CaN ReTurn wHat I hAVe Taken...GIVE you PoWerr! CoMe to my Servant...'

She could feel the servant outside the circle beckoning to her again.
She took off her blindfold and a surging pain burned in her eyes, all was blurry in the remaining light of the circle, even if it seemed battered and not fully in tact at all. She could not recognize any shapes around her, of her comrades. She knew they were there but the words did not reach her mind. She closed her eyes to use her mage sense, trying to find him but there was nothing. No trace of him. Only the strong residue of previously used magic. His signature...

'Where is he?...' Before she could pick up any answer from her comrades the voice resonated in her head. 'He is MiNe! The meddlinG MaGe! wE wIll FeaSt tOgETher!'
'No, no... this can't be... Give him back!'
'I CaN... CoMe to Me! GiVe YouRself tO me!'

Ithilwen did not think straight, deaf to the voices of her friends she moved forward with the full intention to bring him back. To step in shadow. Whatever happened. What meaning did life have anyway, without him?

She could hear Mendel next to her. 'He is alive! Nai brought him to the village! Ithilwen don't do this! The creature is lying!'
She stopped. Could this be true? She tried to sense him once more with her gift, but there was nothing. Nothing that would give any evidence of either speaking the truth. Her head spinned, what was true, what wasn't? Were they trying to save her life by hiding the truth? Was this creature trying to lure her in by shading the truth?
'Take me...But give him back!'
She gritted her teeth and took another step towards the shadow's servant. At that moment Nai took hold of her in her dragon shape and with not much effort Ithilwen was pulled back by the dragon, to the village. As Nai kept a hold on Ithilwen she managed to grab more wounded elves, helping them on her back, on their path towards the village.

Anger and pain surged through her like a flame. Yet on the outside she was frozen. Back in the village Luthien came for them. Elethineth's broken body was carried on Nai's back, together with the other wounded. Luthien kneeled next to her wife right away, tears flowing over her cheeks. A prayer to the elder father brought back life to the other priestess however and Elethineth looked up with a weak smile to Luthien. They held eachother in their arms and Ithilwen felt slightly relieved at the sight, but there was also a jolt of pain. Where was he?

Luthien moved up to Ithilwen after she had a short summary of what happened from Mendel, Deacon and Grimm.
'We should do the communion, now. There is no time to waste.'
Without answering any of her questions, Ithilwen asked her one thing. 'Show him to me...'
Luthien watched her and told her he was recovering, she could not see him now, but he was safe. To keep the rest of them safe, the communion had to take place now!

That communion again. The mind prying thing... Her mind was not set on it at all. She just wanted to make sure he was alright. Why could she not see him? What were they hiding from her?
'I will do the communion as soon as I have seen him...As soon as I know he is alright. Just let me see him!'
Luthien once more told her there was no time, the communion had to take place now for the good of the people... Everyone could still be in danger.

Ithilwen took a deep breath. She had kept on asking Luthien to see his body over and over but the priestess refused her. She tried to sense him once more now that she was in the village but there was nothing. If he was close by she should have felt something. He was lost... She realized that now. An emptiness filled her that she did not even stagger when the hunger took hold of her. A frozen mask formed on her face. What did it all matter now? Just do this bloody communion... At least it would protect the rest of her family, hopefully.

'Ithilwen! Now! The communion!' Luthien almost screamed at her but she felt numb. Even moving seemed too much of an effort, suddenly. Nai pulled her to the ground as the other elves sat themselves on the grassy forest floor at the edge of the village. She could hear Elethineth's voice, calm and monotone, guiding all into a trance. Just like that night they both were there praying a last prayer for him. Ithilwen just felt empty, unable to focus, it was as if she was there, but not really. It was her, holding the hands of Luthien and Elethineth but it felt as if it were not her own hands. The world in front of her started to shift then, fogging up until something else came into shape.

She could feel a coldness around her. She welcomed it. Her feet stood on iced ground. She smiled as she bent over to grab some of the snow in her hand. She let it slowly slip through her fingers and watched it fall. 'Just like life, you can't hold on to it...'

'So...YoU CaME... You CaMe to me.'
Ithilwen looked up as she saw a huge blackness forming out of nothing. Shadows swirled around forming the creature she had met before in the eery garden in the shadowplane. 'Be my GaTe now!...I wIll give HiM to You! Your Mage...I HaVe hIm. CoMe tO me! It opened it's enormous black shadowy claw and in there a blackness swirled around, forming a shadowy orb. Could this be? Did the entity have him? She stared at the orb in its claw. Even if it wasn't, what did it matter in the end, but if it was he would be free. She only needed to step into the shadow. It was all so easy. Just be done with it. The pain would be gone. No more fighting...Just, oblivion...she only had to let go...

She moved closer to the entity and she could feel the coldness of it, cold even for her measures and that said something. It's claw came for her, she did not mind. He could be free... she hoped he would be...
'Stop! Step back!' Luthien and Elethineth came from behind her, moving towards her. 'Don't do it! The beast is lying!' Ithilwen did not move away however. Elethineth's voice sounded then. 'He would not have wanted this. You are giving away his gift to you!'

Ithilwen turned around then, taking a step back as if waking up. The creature's claw grasped in the air and it sounded angry. 'No! sHe GaVE herselF To ME!.

Luthien joined in then. 'Take me instead of her!'
'You have NOTHING I NeED PrIESteSS!' The creature turned to Ithilwen once more. 'CoMe tO mE NOW and I wiLl GiVe YouR Mage'
All of a sudden, time stopped, then rushed forward in a vortex of action. Luthien used all power Corellon granted her, but the entity twisted it and it flared back towards the Priestess. When the brilliant white light faded, the Cor'miira's body laid on the ground, crumpled and still. Elethineth reacted incredibly fast: seeing what happened lounged at the creature with a scream of horror and rage, to avenge her wife. But the creature just laughed and it did not take long before even the mighty priestess joined her consort on the cold snowy ground.

Ithilwen felt a spark of rage inside the void, enough to fuel her anger, letting it build up inside her until it burst and she used her magic on the shadow, with all the power she could add to her deadliest weave. Frustration, pain and confusion came out all at once. The creature dissolved in shadows with a painful scream. Ithilwen fell to her knees, tears flowing from her cheeks, dropping as icepearls in the snow beneath her. The rage left her, and with it the vitality, the will to go on. All that remained was the emptiness.



The world shifted back once more. The village slowly took shape all around her. She lifted her head towards the sun. No pain. The hunger left her, she could no longer feel the slightest hint of it. And yet no smile formed on her lips...no joy surged in her heart. Another emptiness had taken the place of the monster's curse inside her. More natural, more hopeless and more consuming than the former had ever been...

[Solaris]

One Last Time

It had been three nights, or had been more? Ithilwen did not know. It was as if she moved in a bubble of thick liquid. Everything seemed heavy. Even lifting her arm felt as if it drained all her energy. Candle-marks passed by as if it were centuries. She felt old. Extremely old.

She closed her eyes and the image of Aza formed in her mind.

'Don't judge me for my choices little one. You can't truly know how it feels, or what it does to you until you have lived it yourself.'

She knew now... The image of Aza changed into Kael's, but with that came the pain. She took a deep breath and pushed the image from her mind, let the void seep in again.

She had to collect what was left of him. What Nai carried with her from the battle was nothing more than a dry husk. Hollow, without any hint of life. Once in the temple it started to crumble, fall apart until nothing but his robes and some ashes were left. At least that is what they had told her. No wonder Luthien was unwilling to tell her so shortly after the battle. What happened to him to have caused this extreme deterioration? It was as if there never had been life in it. An ashen copy of the black mage...

It was time now. This was not going to be easy but as long as she could keep his image away, it would do. Look at it from a distance, she might have enough strength to pull it through. She owed him at least that.

She didn't know how she got in front of the temple door all of a sudden. Her feet must have dragged her to it while she was in thought. She took another deep breath and pushed the rest of her thoughts in the void. The frozen mask in place on her face, solid. No emotions, no nothing.

An elven templemaiden showed her the way and pointed into a room with a table and one single lit candle. Ithilwen walked on alone towards the table where the remains of Kael were supposed to be. She fought the upcoming memories and emotions back, keeping the void in her mind. And there it was, his velvet black robes flat on the table, nothing filling it. Only some traces of ashes as if he just burned away and crumbled. She could not feel anything from it. No presence, no essence... as if this never had been Kael.

She took out a black urn. Black as the moonless night itself, with no decorations. She held it up and watched in to it. Reflecting the same black void as she felt inside. Ithilwen then started to murmur some words in the arcane language and the lit moved from the urn as she was still holding it with both hands in front of her. The ashes started to move and to float. It came together and hovered above the black robes for a moment before it was drawn into the black urn. The lit closed on the urn and she packed it away carefully. The templemaiden came from behind and wanted to take his black robes but Ithilwen stopped her. She had to do this herself. She folded the robes as if it were something life-precious. Holding the folded robes carefully in her arms and the urn secure at her side, she left towards her chambers.



Back there, she placed the urn on a small table in the room.
And then she broke. The emotions going through her, not able to stop it, as a tidal wave hitting her. The folded black velvet spread around her as she fell on her knees in front of the urn.

[Solaris]

A Voice...

The moon stood high as she looked out over the village from her chambers. Normal life took its way in the village, yet, she still had trouble to follow in line.
The taint was gone but she explored a deeper emptiness with Kael's death as she ever thought possible. Days passed over into nights, nights into days and Ithilwen barely even noticed. She did what was expected of her, she smiled and talked with the people, helped where she could but inside she felt a void. It was as if she watched her life through the eyes of somebody else...



She watched over her shoulder where the urn stood and the black staff with the golden engraved runes Kaienrai had brought to her to honor Kael. It still felt so unreal... The pain of loss, dull and ever present, sometimes cutting through her as sharp as a knife. But life goes on. When one is alive, one must do with the living...She had to go on, live life for him. Since that was his gift to her, life. Free of the shadow's taint.

She walked over to the urn and kneeled in front of it. She then closed her eyes and slowly let herself go in reverie. Then the dream came:

A soothing, pale light filled her mind...

...a whisper, feminine...sadness in it, but reassurance, resolve...

"Listen."

She then heared screams of agony, and exultant screeching.

"YoU wiLL scReAM, shE wiLl heAR YOu SCREAAM!"

The voice screeched and twisted in fury.
A thick blackness filled everything but through the darkness the voice sounded again.

"Listen."

Heavy breaths...an exhausted elf, male...something is familiar about the sense of it...yet all around, there is nothing but shadow.

"Listen."

The light returned, then faded, with a single word.

"Search."

Ithilwen opened her eyes as the last word of her dream sounded in her mind. The sunlight already touched her face and she squinted against the sudden brightness. Could that have been him? No... he is dead it cannot be... "Listen." That is what the voice had said. Who was this female voice? Listen... And then...search for what? For him? could he be...

A thought shot through Ithilwen then and the horror of it made her feel sick for a moment. Could the shadow entity still have him, his soul? Did it have him after all?