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Lyris M'elzarbhehan

Posted: Tue Jul 08, 2014 5:40 pm
by Lyris
First Name: Lyris
Last Name: M'elzarbhehan (True last name unknown)

Race: Human
Age: Approximately 23
Height: 6'1
Weight: 185 lb
Eyes: Blue
Hair: Black
Facial Hair Style: Full stubble

General Health: In very good shape, with no vices to hinder his health.
Deity: None, or rather, unknown.
Initial Alignment: Chaotic Good
Profession: Unknown
Base Class & Proposed Development: Swashbuckler/Weapon Master/Duelist/Wizard
Weapon of Choice: Rapier

Background
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Journal
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My past comes in bits and pieces to me. I remember certain things, certain times, and then just nothing. There are such large gaps in my mind, and no matter how hard I try, I cannot recall what is supposed to take those places. I remember that I was born in Nethentir, one of the smallest cities in Thay. I remember my home; the place where I grew up. I remember my mother and father. Such a lovely place. My family was, or is very wealthy. I can't remember much more about them. I am of noble blood, I believe, but am unsure. I remember... training, often. My father used to be a knight in some far off land; he was always so happy when he spoke of those times. He began to train me when I was old enough to walk in all things a young knight should know how to do. I immediately took to the rapier. I had a sort of natural talent for it. Eventually, I even stopped using a shield all together. I felt so... just right, with the light blade in my hand... and then.
Everyone knows of the Red Wizards of Thay. What they do to children if they show even the slightest magical aptitude. Those children are swept from their homes with no will of their own. Their families killed if they resist. Some are experimented upon, while others are forced to walk the path of the Red Wizard. Many of the children don't make it through their training. It's a horrible way to live. I had never shown any aptitude for magical arts when I was a boy. Yet they came for me anyways. I distinctly remember eavesdropping on a conversation between my mother, father, and two Red Wizards.
"But why...? You... you can't, you can't take him, he hasn't shown any aptitude." My mother sobbed.
"That is our business, and it is none of your concern." Said one of the Wizards, eerily monotone, as if stripped of all emotion.
"None of our concern? That is our son!" My father raised his voice, which was a bad move. Then I heard him scream. I could almost feel the pain he was projecting through his voice.
"Oh, calm down; just a small shock to show that you will obey, and that you have no choice in the matter."
Then the other one spoke, seemingly less emotionally inept as the first.
"If you must know. Your son has extraordinary power. Something you could not understand without being magically inclined yourselves. He has, should we say, natural talent? Even if he hasn't displayed it. The feeling I have at this very moment, with him in the next room, is terrifying even to me."
"Yes." The other said. "The boy will eventually become unstable, if we do-."
"Stop, they needn't know more." The second said icily.
I hid. I was afraid. I did not want them to take me. I was very young at this point, how young I do not remember. My emotions, and imagination as to what they would do to me, were running wild. They entered my room. I guess they could sense my presence, because I was immediately pulled from under my bed. Screaming and kicking I yelled "No no no, you won't take me, you can't!" I don't remember their faces, but I know they scared me. One of them said gently "There, there child, calm down." He touched me on the chest, and I fell limp. They carried me out of the house; my mother and father crying violently. I don't blame them for letting me go, they couldn't have done anything else. I couldn't feel anything, they talked but I couldn't hear, I couldn't see anything. I just felt so many things. Rage. Sadness. Fear. All of a sudden, boom. Something emanated from me, swiftly and thoroughly disintegrating everything around me, including the two wizards. And then, black.
A gap in my memory spanning who knows how many years. I remember pieces of... things. Experiments. I remember them fiddling around inside of my head, where they shouldn't. Torture. At least that's what it felt like. Shreds of memories. Nothing again. The next thing I remember is waking up in a room mirrored on all sides. I awoke, and looked at myself. I touched my face and my body, for I did not recognize who I was. It was me but I was different. Older now, much older. In my twenties, I think, but I had no clue how old I actually was. Blackness again. This time it was shorter. I don't know how I knew, but I could just feel it.
The next part comes in pieces again. I remember being somewhere... else. Not the dungeons and medical rooms I'd been in for so many more of my memories. I was in a forest, and then... a home? I remember a Drow girl? I don't know her name, or even who she was. I know she's who helped me escape, though. I know she's who got me out of that wretched place. I know she's some one special. I stayed with her for a time, I think. Then I draw a blank.
As far as current times go... waking up on this ship. I have no idea where I'm headed, or how I got to where I was. The Drow is nowhere to be found. I have nothing on me, only the clothes on my back. I feel so hateful, driven, confused. I feel different. I feel magic coursing through me, though I have not the slightest idea how to manifest it. I need to know more, to understand. I need to know who I am, what happened to me, to the Drow girl, to my family. I need to know what I was forced to endure, and why. I need to regain my memories. This magic... it's a curse. After everything I know I've been through, even if I can't remember; magic is a curse. I'm not ignorant, I understand that not all magic users are the same, but can I be blamed for feeling such resentment towards them? Such bias? Such hate?
I will find out what was done to me. I will slay the mages who did this to me. I will hunt them down. I will train, and I will hunt them down. This unrelenting rage is inexplicable, especially seeing as I can't actually remember what was done to me.
I feel magic in my blood, yet I haven't the slightest clue how to use it. I dare not even try while still on this boat. This.. this is a curse. If I am to live with it, however... I will use it to my advantage. Won't that be ironic? I will kill those bastards with the very thing they hold so dear. The very thing that they... I assume... tried to bring out in me.
My name... what's my name? L... Lyris? Lyris. My family name is... gah. I can't remember. I... I'll take a new one for now. That Drow woman... What happened to her. I know she's the only reason I'm here, but... Wherever she may be, I'll take a name to honor her, at least in small respects. What did she say... I heard her speak her language only a few times. What was it... what am I looking for? M'elzar... bhehan... Magebane, in the drow tongue. That is the name I shall take for now. I stood, and asked a booze-ridden man slouching against the railing of the ship - "Where is this ship headed, friend?" He replied, after a couple hiccups, and with very slurred words. "Baldur's Gate." Odd.. why would I be headed there..?


Goals: Uncovering the truth of my past. Finding the mysterious Drow woman. Getting a hold on the magical energy that I know lies inside of me. Hunting down any sort of magic user, at least the one's I feel deserve death, as those Red Wizards do.

Re: Lyris M'elzarbhehan

Posted: Tue Jul 08, 2014 5:41 pm
by Lyris
So, I'm sort of new to this. Any constructive criticism would be much appreciated. Thanks, guys :)

Re: Lyris M'elzarbhehan

Posted: Tue Jul 08, 2014 6:04 pm
by mireigi
Formatting. As good as your journal / background might be, anyone wanting to read it will be discouraged from doing so when presented with that great wall of text. Divide it into sections of 5-8 lines each (3-6 lines in preview), with a blank line between each section. Also, consider differentiating dialog from regular text by more than just quotations around it.

The goals are better presented in bulletpoint form.

Also, you might want to include something about the physical appearance of your character. Any visible tatoos, birthmarks, piercings, symbols, totems, insignias, etc that would be visible to everyone upon first meeting. Although such is usually put into the IG bio, they can be included here as well.


This is probably one of the best formated I've seen so far: http://www.bgtscc.net/viewtopic.php?f=153&t=41828. Very readable.

Re: Lyris M'elzarbhehan

Posted: Tue Jul 08, 2014 6:16 pm
by Lyris
Thanks for the reply :)

What else normally goes into the IG bio?

Re: Lyris M'elzarbhehan

Posted: Tue Jul 08, 2014 6:31 pm
by mireigi
Common IG bio topics
  • Height
    Weight
    Eye color
    Race
    Hair color
    Gender
    Attire (type, color, markings, insignias, holy symbols)
    Tattoos
    Scars
Uncommon
  • Hints at place of birth
    Accents
    Speech-impediments
    Perceived state of mind
    Body language
    Smell (body odor, perfume, alcohol, blood)
    Injuries
    Walk / gait
Rare
  • Palpable auras
    Gender/race specific reactions*
    Subtle tells (twitching eyes/lips, nervous shuffling of feet)
*: Your character might change the way they pronounce certain words, the tone of their voice, include sarcasm or a myriad of other things when speaking with men/women or someone of another race. To save time, you can include it in the IG bio so you don't have to emote it everytime.