part of my vows is to "Trust in Selune’s radiance, and know that all love alive under her light shall know her blessing". Part of the vows I undertook when becoming a full member of the Halls of Inner Light, as a Moontouched priestess of Selune, was to help foster the growth of love and especially new loves, and I am determined to do so. In fact, I've already been taking a few steps for some.
I had a diamond carved into a flawless rose, then had it anchored upon a grey marble pedestal. Upon this I had engraved a lovely poem I had written. This I gave to Cosimo and Alexandra, with my most honest and sincere hopes that the love they've managed to find between them continues to flourish and bring them both unending peace and joy. He was quite visibly moved and she wrote me a very sweet note of thank you for it. I know that she harbors much hard feelings towards me and likely still distrusts me but I meant what I said when I wrote the words that stated my hopes their love be eternal like the diamond and as thorn free as the rose there is forever. She will see that love can conquer hate, and that I simply want the best for them both, for the past is done with and is best left there, though it is what brought us to where we are now, and where she and I are is where we were meant to be, and we are all happy where we are.
To further my desire of spreading love and joy to others, I've decided to do something that is admittedly a touch for myself. I've been quietly evolving my love of alchemy into a bit of perfume making. Getting the base alcohol for it wasn't hard; potatoes are plentiful and easily make a vodka that can be used for such. The floral essences does take much more work, as does gathering other components such as vanilla, sandalwood, cederwood, ylang ylang, and others. I'm already working on branching out into cosmetics and bath oils, but for now, the first bottles of my "Midnight in the Mooshaes" are being produced. The Darius Brothers might help me distribute it! Oh, that reminds me that I have to get that proposal written up and sent to Luke. Aiyee. I swear they're going to find just one red curl sticking out of a stack of paperwork one day.
Love, however is going to make me take an entire day off, for in one day, it will be one full month since my Fingal and I began dating. Goddess, it seems like we've always been together.
Ever since that night on the beach, when we laid on the blanket, both all dressed up in our fanciest outfits and just talked while watching the stars overhead, we've been inseparable. I was afraid, truth be told, of opening to him. I'd heard the rumors, had my own serious self doubts and did not know if it would be possible for either of us to connect. And yet...and yet for some reason that night on the beach, way out where the wreckage of ships were but phantoms lurking off the shore watching us and the stars held court overhead, we both lowered our masks and dropped our defenses and we were simply honest with each other. We spoke of the mistakes we'd made, and of the pain we'd both caused others and of what we'd endured and of all the things those who feel the first spark of a connection speak of when they're testing it but of yet are too unsure if they wish to feel the full voltage of it. I'd thought still he was not serious and then he spoke of the first time he met me and I was left speechless.
He had remembered me, even though I hadn't known that was him. A simple, chance meeting, brief and unforgettable to the two of us but for very different reasons, and yet he remembered me and I had not known it was him nor that he had remembered me from my very first few days here. That did it. I took him seriously and allowed myself to risk my heart again. He isn't afraid to love me, nor of me loving him. He is able to stand up to me and make me listen when the tempest inside me brews and reaches a climatic frenzy.
Most of all, in those moments when I'm most afraid of losing him, of losing everything,
he's able to with a word or a look, erase all of that as if those fears never existed at all. There has been only one time I tried to run, to fall back into my old habit of fleeing and hiding away when I'm overwhelmed and need space to breathe. I got as far as the door and realized I couldn't breathe. I...I don't know what happened. I simply couldn't breathe then. I vaguely recall turning to hold the sofa to keep from toppling over and then suddenly I felt his powerful arms around me, and him drawing me back against his chest. His scent, that evocative scent of wine and leather and -him-, was all encompassing and his warm breath fell against my ear as he whispered "Now why don't you tell me what's really bothering you, my love? I'm never letting you go, and if you run, I will follow you. I will teleport all over and I will find you because you are my everything."
Right then, I knew without doubt or hesitation that I was meant to go through everything I had experienced in my life up to this point just so I could fully appreciate and love him as he deserves and I am so grateful to Selune and Sune for such. Tomorrow is going to be a full day of me showing both them and him just how grateful I am. Now...to get packing for his surprised. I've a few more things to collect for it, and then the boat to rent. This time, definitely not falling asleep on desk sunbathing. Ouch.[/parchment]