Cosimo Delucca - Sorcerous Sundries

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Cosimo Delucca - Sorcerous Sundries

Unread post by Mercator » Mon Jul 03, 2017 9:16 am

A small notebook beside Cosimo's bedside. From time to time, a new entry is added. They appear to be highly personal musings on, for the most part, magic.
Cosimo Delucca, Chamberlain of House Darius - "I need to think. Got any wine?"

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Re: Cosimo Delucca - Sorcerous Sundries

Unread post by Mercator » Mon Jul 03, 2017 9:17 am

The handwriting of the entry is neat, although written without formality. Clearly this is not meant to be read by anyone but the author.

I'll tell you what it was like.

When I reached out to my magic, I would see the Weave. Kinda see it at least. It was more like feeling it I guess?

It was warm, and it was like billowing clouds, always moving, and every colour you could imagine. They'd come together and change each other, or repel each other, or swirl around in these weird patterns.

My emotions would change them. If I was angry they'd boil around me, if I felt love they'd wrap around the one I loved like a caress (okay, that reads a bit creepy, but trust me, it wasn't!). And when I reached out with my magic, they'd change the world. That's why I worked so hard to funnel some of my magic into things that help people, rather than harming them, no matter how much it felt like paddling up river.

The clouds were breathtaking though. I can't even write how much. I even got a spell that tricked people into thinking they saw them as well, just so I could share it. And like, defuse fights as well. Its hard to fight when you are staring off at something so wonderful!

Heh.

Breathtaking.

And it was everywhere. Everything was within these clouds, and everyone, too. And they all made the clouds move differently. Everyone's an individual, right? Everyone's got something about them that's great. The clouds wouldn't show me what that was, but they'd show me that there was something.

I remember how it felt to see how everything was linked by these beautiful colours. Like, it felt like everyone had a place in the world, and that no matter how different we all were, we all shared the same place. So we should get along, right? So we shouldn't fight or argue, and just make each other smile.

Thats how it felt.

Thats how my bond with Malane felt too. Like that times ten. Times a hundred. Eh, I'll not put a number on it.

But it was like a warm thing on my shoulder reminding me of what the clouds were really like like, so I'd remember it those times when they went all red and black, and from warm to cold, after my magic took a life.
Cosimo Delucca, Chamberlain of House Darius - "I need to think. Got any wine?"

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Re: Cosimo Delucca - Sorcerous Sundries

Unread post by Mercator » Tue Jul 04, 2017 10:06 am

The handwriting of the entry is a little scrappy, almost in note form. Clearly this is not meant to be read by anyone but the author.

The stronger the spell, the stronger the emotions.

The stronger the emotions, the stronger the spell.

The more the clouds moved, the more I felt.

The more I felt, the more the clouds moved.

The colours changed to suit.

Kindness was a soothing white. Love was super yeuch pink. Laughter was a warm orange.

Fear was a gray-blue. Anger blood red. Jealousy a bilious green.

When I cast powerful spells I felt myself lift up out of my body. I was nearing the clouds, it was like I was joining them. People became distant. Not just distant, insignificant. Like ants or something. The clouds connected everything but were so much more, and I was part of it. I was a cosmic force like them. I lost touch with being Cos.

It wasn't that I stopped caring about people, its just that I couldn't understand them anymore. It was like being as far from them as we all are from Selune, stood looking up at her in the night's sky.

So.

Except the black killing clouds, because they wanted to destroy the ants they noticed. We'd step forward and crush them with big, magic boots. Squish. It didn't even need to be anger, it was just

I hated it and so I hid and pretended all I had was little tricks and the gift was for nothing than jokes and impressing girls, and I tried to recreate what magic was like in the bottom of a bottle.

I hated it and I was so afraid, all the time.

Yeah. It was for a girl that I changed that. I'm sorry Chi, you never got to see what you started. I meant what I said. I just

I should have burned that whale shagging jarl's house down, and his

No man. You were a coward Cos, that's why you had to change.
Cosimo Delucca, Chamberlain of House Darius - "I need to think. Got any wine?"

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Re: Cosimo Delucca - Sorcerous Sundries

Unread post by Mercator » Thu Jul 06, 2017 8:25 am

The handwriting of the entry is very neat. Care has been taken to put down every thought. The prose is considered.

Its hard to describe what being without magic was like. Like being blind. Like being deaf. Like losing an arm or a leg.

It was like the world became grey, all the life washed out. It was like that moment of disorientation when you wake up, but going on and on and on. Or like being so cold you're numb. Everything and everyone distant (I hid that well!).

Like losing my heart. Like losing my soul.

Isabella thinks that what happened was that the old magic released from the destruction of the False Child saturated those nearby so much that they couldn't see the modern Weave any longer. That's why, as the old magic dissipated, they started to be able to cast again.

As the magic of others who were affected crept back, mine stayed silent and gone. As dead as Malane was. As cold as his little body as we buried him.

I can't put that into words. Sorry.

Only Moonie kept me going. I could hear her song as I slept. I felt her compassion as her arms encircled me. There was reality there. There was life and feeling. She didn't have to help me, not after what I did to her. I'll never forget it.

It might be I never actually lost my magic. I just lost the ability to reach out to the Weave like I used to. The Clouds disappeared, and nothing came back to replace them. Like Zahven said, I had to find another way.
Cosimo Delucca, Chamberlain of House Darius - "I need to think. Got any wine?"

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Re: Cosimo Delucca - Sorcerous Sundries

Unread post by Mercator » Sat Jul 08, 2017 8:26 am

The handwriting of the entry is untidy. Its subject has affected the author.

Maybe another emotion would have worked just as well. I really don't want to think this was always gonna happen, its better if its just a gift from Beshaba.

I can touch the weave again, but its not those beautiful clouds anymore. Its flame that burns, even when I touch it. I feel it flowing through me when I cast, making my heart race and my skin tingle.

The fires still change with my emotions. They still rise red-white with my anger. They still twist in tendrils around those who move my heart. They still well up in a deep blue when I sink into despair, swirling around the hole Malane's death has left.

Yes, they still do that. The difference is they are always hot, and they are always ready to spring up in but a moment. Quick. Quick and deep. Deeper than before. Can fire be deep? Its like a river of fire. A sea of fire. Infinite.

When I cast my greatest magics, it all swirls purple and silver, and all emotion is transcended by a feeling of eternal power. All emotions of all time felt all at once. It's like feeling nothing, really, its like being above the material world in such a way that nothing matters but the manipulation of the weave.

No, that's wrong. There are two emotions that remain identifiable, little specks at the corner of my vision, tainting perfection. They are there, in the core, as the Weave twists and shapes, and surges out to destroy the thing I hold in an angry contempt. Yes, the contempt is the irritation of a man with a fly, or a god with a wayward follower. But its there.

And when the magic passes, and the purple and silver fades, before the fires settle down to reflect all of me, those little specks grow, reaching to try and fill me before they are snuffed out. Maybe its my imagination, but they get closer each time, without Malane to hold them back. Red, of anger. And the only cold fires, the black ones, the ones that merely revel in the death that's just been caused.

Those red and black fires were the ones I first saw when my magic came back because I was taken in a moment of anger and bitterness, even though I had no right to feel that way. And now their echo will always be with me.

Please, Tymora, let that have been luck and not fate.
Cosimo Delucca, Chamberlain of House Darius - "I need to think. Got any wine?"

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Re: Cosimo Delucca - Sorcerous Sundries

Unread post by Mercator » Tue Jul 11, 2017 11:25 am

The handwriting of the entry is flowing, almost as if it is meant to echo the dreamlike nature of the entry.

The Weave is like a sea of fire, and the flickering currents are always in danger of sweeping me up. Like the clouds I used to see, though, it reacts to the world and reacts to emotion.

I always question what imprint people leave on the Weave. Is it shaped by my own thoughts of them? Is it shaped by them themselves? Is it the Weave itself passing some message from the Lady of Mysteries? Yeah, no real answer there. Maybe its all three?

Anyway, when we spoke I did look upon the Weave, but I didn't use it. I wanted it to be my own words that reached out to her - or didn't. I mean I had to try. I want to be more than fire.

But I did look upon the Weave. I watched as it changed.

I saw first grey, misty flames. They were opaque and marked our distance, but they soon parted and showed what lay behind them, a column of blue fire. It was cold. The chill reached to the bone. It was all the worse by the silver motes of logic mixed within. There was conscious choice to freeze me. I was being kept out, along with all the others.

The fires changed again, a pale red slowly deepening, sometimes flickering bright like anger, and sometimes dark like wounds. Not one great wound, but many small ones, a lifetime of hurts that swirled around, consuming all. Except where the shadows lingered, the black fires of loss. The silver motes were still there, guiding the fire to ward me away, but where once they had a vice like grip, now it appeared more the aspect of wary confusion.

Maybe it was that confusion that let something else show. I couldn't quite see it, it was just there. Something I wanted to find, to reach out and touch, but kept on slipping down beneath the fires.

Then here and there, the red gave birth to a brown or a deep purple, self-loathing and self-doubt. With them came a defeat. The silver motes resigned themselves to annihilation.

And with that I saw the shadow of other flames flickering underneath, at the core. An echo of something beautiful, slowing coming into view. There it was, white and orange and yellow and a vibrant, cheering blue. Hidden there all this time.

I asked my question and it slipped out of view. The silver motes returned as flame, and fought hard. She stood like rock in my arms, yet in the weave she was a raging turmoil, fighting back with determination, the silver fire thrusting me back time and again.

I mean seriously, it took an hour (I had to admire her tenacity, right?). I had to keep it up, though. I want to be more than fire.

And then suddenly they stopped and it all fell away apart form that rainbow at the core. And as we held each other under the tree, the sea of fire stilled as our magic mingled and, despite all the hurts there were between us, there was peace.

I want to be more than fire. She'd given me that gift, at last.


A poem is copied out neatly beneath. Its not the author's work, but merely something he has enjoyed hearing before, for whatever reason.

Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.

From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.

But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.
Cosimo Delucca, Chamberlain of House Darius - "I need to think. Got any wine?"

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Re: Cosimo Delucca - Sorcerous Sundries

Unread post by Mercator » Sat Jul 15, 2017 8:09 am

Effort has been made to make the handwriting in this entry as beautiful as possible.

I was always afraid that when the heat flowed through me, and when I felt following it the cold, ready to kill, that there would be nothing that would stop me. When you feel invincible, why would anything make you pause? Reason is burned away in arrogance.

The Conjurer stood there like he was made out of obsidian, no emotion on his face despite what he wanted to do. The calmer he was, the more I smoldered. Then he took Isa's finger and her screams stoked the flames.

I honestly didn't know what I was going to do in that moment, as I felt my magic rise. I don't think the Conjurer did either, given the look he gave me. The first time he showed any emotion, really.

He'd dropped his wards earlier. All I had to do was raise my hand and reach out and crush him with my magic. Or that is what it was whispering to me at least in searing whispers as, for some reason, the drow touched Isa's back in some gross mockery of comfort or apology for the crime he'd just committed himself. That just made it worse.

I didn't care about what counterspells Vesche had prepared, or what contingencies there were. I dismissed the other powerful mage in the room as nothing but a mageling. I cared about the mercenary warriors dotted about as much as I did flies or ants or whatever the Nine Hells spit forth to be trivial annoyances for the drow. Probably miniscule beholders or something.

My eyes found Isa though, and its to her I reached, drawing her close to me. Love is stronger than hate, and she's my sister, like Thev's my brother, no matter how mixed up things are between them right now. And it let me see that there was no way either of us would get out alive if I lashed out. Not only that, it made me care about that.

There's so much hate in the world and sometimes I feel I'm becoming part of it, or worse, that its the source of my magic, that I'm a child of strife.

Its not what I want to be, though. I want to grab every moment where love can make a difference, and then love with all my heart. Love everyone I can. That's what I want to be, but dammit, its hard!

Maybe that's why the tree happened. Maybe that's why my magic reacted like it did. Maybe its a message to me, that my magic isn't what I think it is. I just need to trust that I can make the world better without burning it.

Maybe.

I really hope so.

So yeah, I'm going to fight for that.
Cosimo Delucca, Chamberlain of House Darius - "I need to think. Got any wine?"

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Re: Cosimo Delucca - Sorcerous Sundries

Unread post by Mercator » Fri Jul 21, 2017 8:18 am

The handwriting of the entry is a little scrappy, like the author jotted down notes of a conversation. Clearly this is not meant to be read by anyone but the author.

Stand on a mountaintop and you'll see it all stretch out below. A carpet of greens and browns, with ribbons of blue. Civilised things seem to melt away, all our busy little lives about as important as creepy crawlies are to us. We all may as well not exist, from up there, as you look down at us. We're so little to you, but not out of malice. We're just so very far away.

In the purest moment of casting, that's what its like, being on that mountaintop. The elation of touching the weave increases with each circle, and beyond. Elation? Yeah, it kinda is, when you go into it while you are in control. Its like a moment of connection to everything near and far. I guess that's why you have to fight to remember that everything includes everyone, too.

I can see how magic is so dangerous, and how some mages just loose it for more power. That feeling, that feeling of being everything creates an ache for more in that moment afterwards, when you realise you aren't everything. I mean even I feel that. Its not even just in the moment, either, in the end. Its an emptiness in the pit of the stomach that you wake up with every day.

I guess that's where you need to remember your prayers to Mystra and bring some restraint. That helps you win your fight to remember you're only mortal and that's enough.

Bring some anger and bitterness with you, though, and you'll lose that fight. All you think of then is crushing bugs. When the flames swirl red and black, hot as hell and colder than ice.

Malane used to be an anchor for me. Kind of like a tether to reality, to something down on the world below. He kept me caring and stopped me losing myself in hunger. Its been tough, without him. Yeah. It has. I still feel him gone.I thought it as the link that kept me sane. That the bond had to be magical, so with him gone I was just screwed.

Nah, wrong. There's something now that sings over the roar of the flames. I hear it from the mountaintop. I mean, it flows through me even there, pale pink and gold and soothing warm, a gentle wind through my hair, a light rain on my skin.

I write that and I read it back and I'm telling myself that's ridiculous, and it is, but its how it feels. Its not magic, no, but its stronger than even my greatest fears, because it reminds me what matters and what I care about. Me, the me there is before the mountain.
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Re: Cosimo Delucca - Sorcerous Sundries

Unread post by Mercator » Tue Aug 01, 2017 9:18 am

The handwriting is hurried, the entry is more like jumbled notes.

Something grey, the old woman said. Like some entity or power hanging over my shoulder, or a secret, maybe one I didn't know (and I don't!). I don't normally take fortune telling seriously but those words danced down my spine.

Lex and I were only having a bit of fun and instead we both heard stuff that made us think. Good and bad, but we knew we'd face it together.

I think its grey because I don't know what it is, like its covered in fog. A fog of unknowing.

Its got to be to do with my magic. What else could it be? I don't know where it comes from, yet I know there's got to be a source.

I've never really let it go, not since the False Child, when it changed. Since then its just felt so much closer.

Something in me, I think. Something stopping me from staying distant.

I've tried so hard to run away from it. Escape has been at the bottom of a glass, or in the kiss of a woman. I guess recently you can add giving a crap about people getting hurt.

Its not like any of thats not real, or anything I do is a lie. Its just that I know I'm not looking over my shoulder and seeing what's there.

I mean thats why its grey, right?

Part of me thought it didn't matter. I was afraid, though. I was lying to myself and that just hurt others. It hurt people I loved the worst, and I'm still making it up to the one I hurt the most. I didn't think anything could match my magic and that just meant my magic was mastering me.

Lex asked me to go further. She wanted to see everything. How could I deny her, when she was showing me all of her? She'd given me so much, and given it first. She'd let me make a difference, as a a man, not a mage. That matters so much to me.

I reached in, and let it take me, and let it out.

I heard the primordial drums and felt something roar in my ears and felt the heat on my skin and I knew then that there was such power in the world and the Weave and I could reach it and I was part of it and it was part of me and there was nothing to fear and no one to bow to and anything I could see was everything that was mine if I wanted it and I felt the infinite and it was almost all there was.

Almost.

Love was still there. It bent, yeah, and then lost its softness. It was enough, though. When I looked at her I didn't want to own her. I wanted her to adore me completely. I wanted her to see wonder reflected in me. Hubris, yeah, but it didn't burn her like I feared.

She wanted to see all of me and she didn't turn away. So neither did I. Who knew someone could give such a gift.
Cosimo Delucca, Chamberlain of House Darius - "I need to think. Got any wine?"

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Re: Cosimo Delucca - Sorcerous Sundries

Unread post by Mercator » Sat Oct 21, 2017 7:21 am

The entry is jotted down, discordant. Dreamy. It dates from the end of Eleint

I mean I'd thought about it, of course I had. Who wouldn't? You don't get fire shooting from your fingers and just shrug and go "Hey, cool." I mean I admit I did try and act like that's all I thought and I laughed it off and acted like it was no big deal.

But yeah, it was a big deal.

I've been afraid of knowing the whole time, even when magic felt so much more distant than it does now. But it got worse after the false child, I felt the Weave as something hot and I felt it everywhere. And sometimes I felt it, like a memory of a dream, hovering behind me. That thing back in the depths of my bloodline whose spark filled me now, and made me a sorcerer.

I still don't know. I still don't know. But I know. I mean I feel that Laitae's guess is right. Feel it in my blood and my bones and in the way I feel when I close my eyes and let myself drift, and I see the mountain and I look down upon everything and everyone and I just...I don't know how to write it. I feel a greed that isn't mine.

Lex has seen it all. And she's still here.

Magic is a gift. I do believe that. How I got it just decides how I am tested. Its part of my path to restraint, I guess. Well maybe I should stop guessing.

Time for a self portrait.



Image
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Re: Cosimo Delucca - Sorcerous Sundries

Unread post by Mercator » Tue Apr 17, 2018 9:03 am

The following pages lack words. Instead a series of sketches, half finished, each of draconic beasts. Finally, they give way to a series of completed sketches. Its clear they have been worked on for quite some time. They were complete by Ches 1354.


Image

Image
Image



The last one has had less attention lavished on it, like it flowed out naturally.

Image
Beneath this one words are written.

This one.
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Re: Cosimo Delucca - Sorcerous Sundries

Unread post by Mercator » Wed Apr 18, 2018 9:29 am

A further picture is drawn at the end of Ches 1354.

Image
Yeah, that's both of you. If only you were both so quiet when you were awake, eh?

For all your faults, you harpy, you did good with this one.
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Re: Cosimo Delucca - Sorcerous Sundries

Unread post by Mercator » Tue Apr 24, 2018 9:27 am

Number One

The smell of fish permeated everything. Sure, in the tavern it was mixed with cheap ale and smoke and sweat and stuff you don't want to think about. You couldn't shake the fish smell, though, this close to the wharf.

The mage wore his hair loose, and he hadn't shaved for a few days. He looked as scruffy and as dirty as everyone else in the bar, but Number One was able to spot him easily enough. Eventually he went over to the mage's table and sat before him. The mage looked up from his cheap ale and smiled nervously.

Number One leaned forward. "Keep your mouth shut. Just listen, right?" He trusted in the hubbub of the bar to mask his quiet words.

Number One went into it. The job was a simple divination. The subject would be brought to a secret meeting place, and the pay was good. There had to be silence though. "My bosses have heard you can keep your mouth shut and you aren't squeamish. If that isn't true, walk away now. This isn't one for bleeding hearts."

The mage nodded. He didn't walk away.

"Keep your divinations prepared for the next tenday, if they are happy to proceed, we'll be in touch." Number One smiled, moving to stand.

The mage tilted his head, raising an eyebrow.

Number One sat back down. "Keep your spells prepared?"

The mage smiled. "Prepared? But I'm a sorcerer." The smile grew toothy. Predatory.

Number One leapt up, weaving through the crowd of tavern goers, picking up pace as he made for the door. He didn't look back for signs of pursuit, but even so when a rum-sodden fisherman stepped through the door, it was child's play to trip the man and push him into another tavern goer. Leaving aside a brewing argument about spilled drinks, Number One made his escape. If the mage wanted to give chase he would have to navigate that.

On the streets, he began to run, with a clear destination in mind. Left out of the door. first left. Second right. Veer right then take the first left. Down the alley on the right. Climb the wall. Run to the fourth right. Then the little ginnel three doors down on the right. Look around to see if you've been followed. There find the loose stone. Use the amulet inside.

"It was a set up. The guy's no wizard, he's a sorcerer. I lost him though." Number One took a deep breath.

There was a wump, and then a click, and suddenly Number One wasn't alone in the damp little alleyway. There the mage was, standing between him and the way he had come in, grinning. "Hello again. Magic's useful, isn't it?"

"How? I can't..." Number One stammered.

"Be scryed, yeah. I've got some pretty resourceful friends." The mage's grin widened. It was not reassuring.

Number One held up an admonishing finger. "Look, you don't know who you are dealing with..."

"I know. But I'd like to!" Said the mage. His grin faded. "I'm going to have to ask you to take me to your bosses. You really need to do that."

Number One looked behind him, to the other end of the ginnel.

"Don't think about it." Said the mage. "I won't miss. You've got no choice but to help me, yeah? No sense dying for a pouch of gold, is there?"

Number One grimaced, tensing up. Then he came to a decision, and his shank was in his hand, moving fast.

The mage was faster though, like he saw the blow coming. A premonition of it. He extended a hand, a ray of pure ice slamming into Number One, freezing him solid with bone cracking, blood freezing intensity.

The rigid body fell to the ground, face locked stiff in a desperate, ferocious yell.

The mage lowered his hand and looked down at the body. He flexed his fist, once, twice. The shadow of something inside him chuckled.
Cosimo Delucca, Chamberlain of House Darius - "I need to think. Got any wine?"

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