Roy McGriff's 101 uses for a dead rat.
Posted: Mon Jul 31, 2017 3:09 pm
*A scroll is posted in the Blade and Stars, as well as pined to a wagon near the Friendly arm inn. It seems to suggest that Roy (new lv. 1 area, dock warehouse) is branching out and now selling the dead rats as well to help cover his losses. Fur, sharp teeth, flexible tails, so many uses! There is also more room at the bottom of this scroll left blank with a notation reading "other suggestions welcomed" Though few, if any, would believe that this list was really written by Roy, and likely a smear by a rival*
2. Lawn Rats (like those pink lawn flamingos) Just add spikes and paint!
3. Bottle Opener
4. Door Stop
5. Conversation Piece
6. As a Warning to Live Rats
7. Cheap holiday present to show just how much you love (Loath) someone.
8. Boat (not ship) christening. Braking a bottle of wine is alcohol abuse!
9. Cheep neck tie.
10. Bronze one to use as a unique forward Ornament for a noble's wagon.
11. A Doll's Toy Horse - 'Charlie'
12. Kids of over protective, but cheep, parents can race them. No kid gets their feelings hurt as no one ever loses (or wins, as dead Rats don't move).
13. Quiet Animal Companion. Fanily a full nights sleep!
14. Book Mark
15. Table lamp or candle holder
16. Gravity tester
17. Boot Buffer
18. Target Practice
19. Teeth make great Ink quill Sharpeners.
20. Hole Puncher
21. Appetizer for a Rottweiller Puppy
22. 'Skippy' the never-tiring Familiar
23. A pet -Rock- Rat, also doubles as a scroll paper weight.
24. Dust rag chamois
25. Feather Duster
26. Wagon window suction toy.
27. Used by poor dock workers for face slapping in honor duals (Gloves are not cheep!)
28. Floating mug holder for your bath or pool.
29. Hollow it out to make a fun Rat shaped Jelly Mold.
30. Add one zipper along belly. Voila. One small handbag.
31. A pin cushion
32. Trap tester (would probably work better with live Rats)
33. Use a pair for cheep and festive oven mitts.
34. A substitute travel pillow.
35. Padded footstool for a Halfling.
36. A unique desk organizer.
37. Letter opener.
38. Teeth bits for pie crust crimping decorator.
39. Mounted on the wall. (You must start somewhere)
40. Tiefling horn decorations.
41. Elven ear sharpeners.
42. A test for giant spiders. Tie to a stick, swish around in web, and run.
43. Parasite farm (similar to an ant farm)
44. Poke holes in one then twirl it around your head by the tail for a noise maker (might work better with live Rats)
45. Fertilizer
46. Get two, attach them by a rope; viola! The hottest thing for designer bolos since fuzzy dice.
47. Hang it from the ceiling; becomes a punching bag.
48. Bird feeder. Bonus perk of free bird food (see #43)
49. Tetherball!
50. Roasted on an open fire like marsh-mellows, but gamier.
51. Tie seven or eight of them together, attach to a stick, and you have one hell of a Flail!
52. Shuffle board
53. Leave one out in the sun for a week or so, water liberally...a do it yourself Chia pet!
54. Turn them around, blow to inflate, and you have water wings.
55. Bed slippers.
56. Deodorant for Orc. The Orc females love it, no need to club one over the head again!
57. Worn around the neck as Aasamar bane. Add a disclaimer of no refunds to the fine print.
58. Tied to your shoulder like a parrot as a conversation starter, and finger puppet.
59. A fury body suit for Roy to roll around in (Don’t ask, no really, you don't want to know)
60. Collect a few for a fun chess set.
61. Teeth = improvised Lock pick.
62. Crampons
63. Saw in half, bookends!
64. Stiffen one and add a poll to make a tool for picking up other dead Rats with. Never bend over again!
65. Lovely evening wrap for a goblin festive ball.
66. Dangly pierced earrings.
67. A mobile for a Necromancer's baby crib.
68. Weathervane.
69. Used as a Garrote to choke people. Then leave it as a unique assassin's calling card.
70. Another common use for a dead Rat is a cute stencil for a child's room. Alternate Rat stencil with a Sword coast Galleon for a true nautical theme.
71. Hide armor for the growing pixie barbarian guild.
72. Tails make convenient toothpicks for outdoorsy types.
73. A great cat toy.
74. A one-way Boomerang.
75. Makes an unpleasant surprised in the center of a snowball. Note; Flaming Fist will kill you.
76. Rub under nose to awake someone from a drunken stooper, better then smelling salt.
77. An Ink quill holder (see #19)
78. A very small fur rug (In place of a Bear skin rug)
79. Ever wonder what Amnian Spam is really made of?
80. Fill with candy and make a really cool piñata.
81. They make terrific party hats
82. Wand cozy...
83. Toupee'
84. Use it to practice your goal kicks. (Once again, probably works better with live Rats).
85. Hackey Sack.
86. Draft excluder, place them under any door or window and save on your heating bills!
87. Toy for sadistic children.
88. Cheep Kindling.
89. Starter kit for a "Junior Headhunters" Set.
90. Boxing gloves.
91. Can't afford a bear or wolf coat? Rats + dye make for a good faux imitation.
92. Paws make good coat hangers
93. Great for cheep last minute party Masks.
94. Something to throw at the Bard when they sing off key.
95. Chalkboard eraser
96. Disposable dish rags. For when spitting in their food is just not enough.
97. Tails make a decent fishing lure, use bodies to grow maggots for more bait (see#43).
98. Secret ingredient in Lizardfolk egg soup. Finding a tail in your soup is a sign of good luck....also a sign of food poisoning.
99. A Soubar kids meal toy. The concealed knife within is included by special order.
100. Toilet Paper, depends on how desperate you are after that FAI Lizard egg soup.
101. Press between the pages of a book. Makes a lovely memento of your low level adventures.
//Thanks to Lisa for building it.
Roy's 101 uses for a dead rat.
1. Back Scratcher2. Lawn Rats (like those pink lawn flamingos) Just add spikes and paint!
3. Bottle Opener
4. Door Stop
5. Conversation Piece
6. As a Warning to Live Rats
7. Cheap holiday present to show just how much you love (Loath) someone.
8. Boat (not ship) christening. Braking a bottle of wine is alcohol abuse!
9. Cheep neck tie.
10. Bronze one to use as a unique forward Ornament for a noble's wagon.
11. A Doll's Toy Horse - 'Charlie'
12. Kids of over protective, but cheep, parents can race them. No kid gets their feelings hurt as no one ever loses (or wins, as dead Rats don't move).
13. Quiet Animal Companion. Fanily a full nights sleep!
14. Book Mark
15. Table lamp or candle holder
16. Gravity tester
17. Boot Buffer
18. Target Practice
19. Teeth make great Ink quill Sharpeners.
20. Hole Puncher
21. Appetizer for a Rottweiller Puppy
22. 'Skippy' the never-tiring Familiar
23. A pet -Rock- Rat, also doubles as a scroll paper weight.
24. Dust rag chamois
25. Feather Duster
26. Wagon window suction toy.
27. Used by poor dock workers for face slapping in honor duals (Gloves are not cheep!)
28. Floating mug holder for your bath or pool.
29. Hollow it out to make a fun Rat shaped Jelly Mold.
30. Add one zipper along belly. Voila. One small handbag.
31. A pin cushion
32. Trap tester (would probably work better with live Rats)
33. Use a pair for cheep and festive oven mitts.
34. A substitute travel pillow.
35. Padded footstool for a Halfling.
36. A unique desk organizer.
37. Letter opener.
38. Teeth bits for pie crust crimping decorator.
39. Mounted on the wall. (You must start somewhere)
40. Tiefling horn decorations.
41. Elven ear sharpeners.
42. A test for giant spiders. Tie to a stick, swish around in web, and run.
43. Parasite farm (similar to an ant farm)
44. Poke holes in one then twirl it around your head by the tail for a noise maker (might work better with live Rats)
45. Fertilizer
46. Get two, attach them by a rope; viola! The hottest thing for designer bolos since fuzzy dice.
47. Hang it from the ceiling; becomes a punching bag.
48. Bird feeder. Bonus perk of free bird food (see #43)
49. Tetherball!
50. Roasted on an open fire like marsh-mellows, but gamier.
51. Tie seven or eight of them together, attach to a stick, and you have one hell of a Flail!
52. Shuffle board
53. Leave one out in the sun for a week or so, water liberally...a do it yourself Chia pet!
54. Turn them around, blow to inflate, and you have water wings.
55. Bed slippers.
56. Deodorant for Orc. The Orc females love it, no need to club one over the head again!
57. Worn around the neck as Aasamar bane. Add a disclaimer of no refunds to the fine print.
58. Tied to your shoulder like a parrot as a conversation starter, and finger puppet.
59. A fury body suit for Roy to roll around in (Don’t ask, no really, you don't want to know)
60. Collect a few for a fun chess set.
61. Teeth = improvised Lock pick.
62. Crampons
63. Saw in half, bookends!
64. Stiffen one and add a poll to make a tool for picking up other dead Rats with. Never bend over again!
65. Lovely evening wrap for a goblin festive ball.
66. Dangly pierced earrings.
67. A mobile for a Necromancer's baby crib.
68. Weathervane.
69. Used as a Garrote to choke people. Then leave it as a unique assassin's calling card.
70. Another common use for a dead Rat is a cute stencil for a child's room. Alternate Rat stencil with a Sword coast Galleon for a true nautical theme.
71. Hide armor for the growing pixie barbarian guild.
72. Tails make convenient toothpicks for outdoorsy types.
73. A great cat toy.
74. A one-way Boomerang.
75. Makes an unpleasant surprised in the center of a snowball. Note; Flaming Fist will kill you.
76. Rub under nose to awake someone from a drunken stooper, better then smelling salt.
77. An Ink quill holder (see #19)
78. A very small fur rug (In place of a Bear skin rug)
79. Ever wonder what Amnian Spam is really made of?
80. Fill with candy and make a really cool piñata.
81. They make terrific party hats
82. Wand cozy...
83. Toupee'
84. Use it to practice your goal kicks. (Once again, probably works better with live Rats).
85. Hackey Sack.
86. Draft excluder, place them under any door or window and save on your heating bills!
87. Toy for sadistic children.
88. Cheep Kindling.
89. Starter kit for a "Junior Headhunters" Set.
90. Boxing gloves.
91. Can't afford a bear or wolf coat? Rats + dye make for a good faux imitation.
92. Paws make good coat hangers
93. Great for cheep last minute party Masks.
94. Something to throw at the Bard when they sing off key.
95. Chalkboard eraser
96. Disposable dish rags. For when spitting in their food is just not enough.
97. Tails make a decent fishing lure, use bodies to grow maggots for more bait (see#43).
98. Secret ingredient in Lizardfolk egg soup. Finding a tail in your soup is a sign of good luck....also a sign of food poisoning.
99. A Soubar kids meal toy. The concealed knife within is included by special order.
100. Toilet Paper, depends on how desperate you are after that FAI Lizard egg soup.
101. Press between the pages of a book. Makes a lovely memento of your low level adventures.
//Thanks to Lisa for building it.