Audree's Journal

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Razzaband
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Audree's Journal

Unread post by Razzaband » Fri Mar 15, 2019 6:29 pm

30 Nightal 1354

Drifting Amongst the Winds

Oh how grateful I am that Shaundakul has lent his helping hand to me! I could still be sleeping in the streets of Calimport but for these past few days a caravan has brought me along to escape this dreadful country. They have hired me another blade to protect their goods as they travel to Tethyr. Not only do I not have to shame myself by begging for coin, but I am being fed and will be paid a bit of coin should we arrive safely across the borders.

The terrors of the night have not come to attack us yet, but every night in the desert is another opportunity for bandits and creatures of the dark to raid us. I’ve been keeping quiet to myself, especially when the stars watch over us. Though sometimes I overhear the conversation between the others, merchants and guards alike. Despite being far from Calimport, the despicable worship of coin and luxury is still very much present. Since we are away from the city, the merchants are now our sultans for they hold the most coin and thus the most power in our traveling party. Still, I am glad this is not a caravan with slaves, as far as I can see.

Being out of the city is both terrifying yet refreshing. I do not feel the eyes and judgments of everyone in the streets. Most of the other guards speak with one another with understanding. The wilderness is now the most dangerous threat that lurks over us rather than the worry of angering those with power above us. As we approach the plains, the weather is becoming much more bearable. It is still dry and warm but sometimes I can feel the cools of the wind.

I still am, in great pains leaving Calimport. . .leaving my family. I hated that city for all the arrogance, cruelty and hoarding that defined it but I still lived there my entire life. I wonder if father is still angered or has his flame calmed and now. Does he regret disowning his daughter? I doubt it. And mother, I could tell she had wept hearing father and I argue. But alas, I will make her proud and return showing both her and father that I am not a naïve fool. Father is wrong about letting things be as they are. Even if it is out of my control, I will scream and cry about the injustice of that city, no, of Calimshan as a whole. But for now I must train to become a great warrior and guardian of -Agriil Nari-, the Slumbering Fire, our family heirloom. As much as father hates it, he did pass down the blade to me. -He- is no longer the guardian of it, I am.
Krumarth Sorth: Orc Wizard
Audree Behiz: Guardian of the Slumbering Fire
Quinn Hijo: The Mind Mage
Razzaband Arashem: Dead
Mathew Hillock: Dead

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Razzaband
Posts: 37
Joined: Tue Mar 29, 2011 10:33 pm
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Re: Audree's Journal

Unread post by Razzaband » Mon Mar 25, 2019 5:43 pm

24 Ches 1355

A Strong Heart

It has been a while since I’ve written in this old thing huh? Well, over the past few months my body, mind, heart and blade have all aged, each in their own way. The doubts I had are now mostly answered and new ones have risen to take their place. I have decided to settle here in the Western Heartlands, what can I say? This place has won me over. Every corner lurks adventurer and mystery, the people here far more friendly and trusting, and the lands beautiful and rich. It’s quite the change from living in one of the poorest sections of Calimport. Adventurers around here earn a level of respect, rather than shunned for their lack of conformity to the social and political hierarchy.

I feel a great closeness with Agriil Nari. The flame within the blade burns soothingly as I wield the blade. But there is much more to learn from it and myself as well. Many have praised my skill with the blade but there is much more improvement to be had. I spend much of my time refining my movements with the sword, a process to merge both body and blade. I almost feel as those the sword is an extension of myself, but not quite. Something is off, and I do not know what it is. Do I need to refine my alchemical work? Is my body not built well enough for the sword to be fluid in its movements? Is my mind still seeded with doubts that make me hesitant, unable to act naturally? Perhaps it is my heart that is not one with Agriil Nari? Who knows, but it is my duty, my life work to be this blade’s wielder and guardian.

Currently, I am working as a prospect of the Phoenix Company. I haven’t done anything too significant, but I will continue to train so I can provide whatever aid I can! Not only to the company, but to the folks of Baldur’s Gate as well. After spending time protecting and clearing the roads, a spark has reignited in me. I can’t remember feeling so dedicated to something except for when I tried to fight against the slave trade in Calimshan! However, this time will not be a failure! I am so much stronger than before, and much more skillful as well. My acrobatics have improved immensely as well as my abilities to navigate through dangerous areas. And with that as well, the strongest creature I have brought down is a two-headed troll! Past Audree couldn’t even slay one with a single head, ha!

But, despite how much I may have improved, worry grows in both my heart and mind. I broke down yesterday, during an adventure that was quite dangerous I must add. I am ashamed of what happened. This was in what the locals call, the Troll Hills. This place is swarming with trolls, ogres, ettins, and many more giants, all hungry to tear apart a man’s body to eat them! Well none of these really made me fearful, as I could stand my ground against them. Their attacks were powerful, but slow and clumsy. Hence I was able to dodge such strikes easily and go in quickly for a counterattack. It wasn’t until our party encountered well. . .a bear. I was confident in mind, body, and heart. I was ready to protect the others around me and stand my ground against the beast. It wasn’t until. . .until it stood towering over us.

My heart stopped for a moment, my mind screaming, and my body frozen in absolute terror as it roared. As my blood began to rush quickly again in my body and my heart racing as an effect, my mind grew worse and worse. I felt I was going to be torn apart by the beast, that I couldn’t dodge or deflect its strikes quick enough. I lost my guard and ran. I just ran and ran and ran, I had to get away. I didn’t want to die, not yet, I couldn’t die, I wasn’t supposed to die. This time I wasn’t the protector, the guardian who always held firm. I was the person who wanted safety. I was the person who -couldn’t do anything-.

Luckily the others were able to take down the bear without much trouble. And looking back, I’m so glad they tried to calm me down and speak with me. I didn’t want to accept it at the time, because I failed everyone, that is, I failed them, my family, my legacy, and -myself-. I wasn’t supposed to fail, I’m supposed to the fire that burns bright, that lights the way ahead, so everyone feels safe, so everyone knows where to take the next step. We continued but this was not the last of the anxiety that struck me suddenly. One of the stashes was trapped. I was able to find my way around the locks, but I failed to spot it had a trap. . .an incredibly deadly one. When it sprung, my entire body stopped for a moment. An intense bolt of lighting struck me. That almost did kill me. For a moment I paused, thinking to myself how I could of died right there in such a. . .humiliating way even.

I know looking back, I just made a mistake and I that I will learn from it but at that moment, I began doubting if I even should have been out there. Maybe father was right that I am just a foolish naïve girl. I wanted to run away again, I wanted to give up. I didn’t want to fight against my family anymore because I felt it was pointless. How could I prove anything if I am so incompetent? I wanted to the world to go away, to stop watching me so I could cry. As I came out of my mind back to the world, I knew I had to get a grip of myself. A hero can’t break down, not in front of others. I bit my tongue and tried to stand strongly as others asked if I was okay. But deep down I wasn’t and they knew it. They asked if I wanted to leave, and they were right to ask because I was scared and hurt. But being as stubborn as I am, I had to push on, just for myself. Because if I keep walking this path of being a warrior who protect others who can’t protect themselves, then their fears come first before my own.

Sitting down and reflecting about it, it’s okay to be afraid, you need to be afraid! It’s how you listen to that fear! When your mind tells you something is dangerous, that it can -hurt- you, your heart needs to remain strong. You listen and but you continue on, you tread carefully on the path set before you. So no, I’m not a failure, I am walking one of the many paths set before me. I will become stronger, so I can keep others safe, no matter how many dangers come my way.
Krumarth Sorth: Orc Wizard
Audree Behiz: Guardian of the Slumbering Fire
Quinn Hijo: The Mind Mage
Razzaband Arashem: Dead
Mathew Hillock: Dead

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Razzaband
Posts: 37
Joined: Tue Mar 29, 2011 10:33 pm
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Re: Audree's Journal

Unread post by Razzaband » Mon Apr 01, 2019 4:55 pm

30 Ches 1355
Restraint

It seems my travels away from home is a road that holds many lessons of humility, foresight, and diligence. These are the same concepts I found myself confronted by when I fought for justice and freedom in Calimport and now they have presented themselves once more. I failed, again, but not in the same fashion as before. This time I confronted my fears, not wavering from what I thought was right, but the lack of restraint caused me to almost die. It is to be expected I suppose, becoming a great warrior requires experience which I have a great lack of, both in fighting and in handling matters. This is a time to learn however. I have learned that I must be more hesitant and less impulsive in my actions.

But what did happen and how could I improve upon similar situations in the future? Well it first began with encountering what people call a ‘mindflayer’. I am still very much unsure of what these creatures are and what their nature is, but I learned while in conversation with it and the advice of another companion of mine that this creature is capable of mind manipulation and tends to keep slaves. That should have first signaled to take cautious and leave the area with the others as soon as possible. Unfortunately, hearing that these mindflayers keep slaves prompted me to ask if the one we encountered did. It admitted such which then I loss my sense of thinking and was left to follow my emotions. I felt anger towards this creature, and a duty to strike it down for what atrocities it committed. However, because of the lack of thought I gave to the situation, I did not recognize that killing the creature would ultimately result in a loss of necessary information. What if there are others of its kind and the slaves are shared among them? Killing one would do nothing, so we needed to question the creature, but that requires a motivation for the mindflayer to do such.

I must learn to be more deceptive, to hide my emotions. I do not think I should dismiss them but conceal them to provide a lack of information for enemies to exploit. But that seems impossible. Fire runs in hot in my blood. Letting my passions guide me is my nature. I should ask the others in the company how they keep calm in situations, it is a much needed skill I must learn

But regardless, I failed to take this creature down. I thought I had a sizeable advantage with how quick I can initiate an attack. Often I surprise enemies by quickly leaping into the air and using them as a surface to propel my body. The weight of my body often causes them to black out for a moment, giving me time end them. Otherwise, in the momentum of the fight, I can dodge their strikes with much more ease as they are confused on my positioning. However, this creature was able to disappear right before my eyes, and it was not spell or I would of recognized it from any visual or auditory cues. One thing I have seen common traveling to these lands is that many folks remain close to the shadows, hiding in them. Both enemies and allies alike. I do not know what these techniques are, but they frighten me.

Returning to the battle, another appeared. A strange man came out from the shadows and began casting foul magic. Some of it I could not recognize. But suddenly a violent storm came, and I was swept by it. Everything from then on became a blur, until I woke up with my companions trying to stabilize my body. I am so grateful that I had allies in that situation, I would have died if it were not for them. I owe all of them my life.

Together we were able to piece together what occurred. The mindflayer and that man are the same I suspect. The mage in our party thinks it was transmutation magic, the shapechange spell most likely. And reading more in-depth about changing forms, I would agree with that premise. I also have an “I.O.U” card that was left behind, given by him most likely. But what does he owe me? What did he take? That -frightens- me that I do not know. Agriil Nari is still with me, and after this incident, I have become far closer to it. The fire that runs through the blade and the fire that runs through me are starting to become one, I can feel it.

But what is important at this moment, is the follow up. First, I must continue to train to become stronger, to minimize the chances of failing. Second, I must investigate this matter and bring this information to the Phoenix Company. Third, is to hunt this mysterious man and learn what he wants, what he does, and how I can stop him from hurting others. Stepping into the unknown, I will need keep my faith strong in both Shaundakul and Ilmater. That is for certain.
Krumarth Sorth: Orc Wizard
Audree Behiz: Guardian of the Slumbering Fire
Quinn Hijo: The Mind Mage
Razzaband Arashem: Dead
Mathew Hillock: Dead

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