Girl ... let me TELL you.. - A Periodical

[Magnificent Mr. Lane]

*Errand boys are sent to the major billboards and sign-posts around town to pin a sheet of lavender-colored parchment onto each one.*


Volume I
DARLING, IT'S A FABIANA


Citizens, Friends, Frenemies, and would-be-assassins,

Have no fear.

I have just arrived to the Sword Coast with an important and self-righteous mission. To bring my elegance and knowledge of fashion to your backwater communities. You may have noticed me strutting alongside the farms, or taking a promenade through the city square. I am easily the most attractive human being in town ... or so I thought until I met someone with equal sense of style, fashion, and overall exuberance.

I try to keep a low profile, usually. ... You see, I am being chased by assassins from Mulsantir (please do not tell anyone). But can I PLEASE just say: Is Fabiana Fantastic or what? In fact, that is my personal nickname for her: Fantastic Fabiana.

Her eye for color, her flair for the dramatic, and her foray into Haute Couture make me feel as if I was back in the cosmopolitan section of Waterdeep. I had to arrive here in quite a hurry, and I left most of my extravagant wardrobe at the hands of the assassins. Tymora smiled upon me indeed when one of the first people I met here was a fashion guru. I find her fashion insights and her avant-garde interpretation of clothing both provocative and thrilling.

If anyone in town asks me with a perplexed look on their face as to what I'm wearing, (or if they're truly savvy, they'll ask me who I'm wearing) I know my response:


Darling, it's a Fabiana.

[Magnificent Mr. Lane]

Volume II
FASHION POLICE....


To my loyal fans,



I have been gravely wronged.



There I was- innocently strutting the city streets, minding my own magnificent business, when all of a sudden, an overgrown oaf confronted me and told me to "sheathe that weapon!" My offence? Carrying a spoon.....

You see, I enjoy carrying spoons around to signal to others that I care for the poor, even though I secretly despise their taste(lessnes) in clothes. Still, I have to pretend like I care- the "fresh out of the soup-kitchen" look is quite trendy.

The guard arrested me. Now, I must say I can pull off a pair of handcuffs like nobody, except maybe Fabiana. I did get a few hungry glances my way from the local women who mistook me for a handsome miscreant engaged in tomfoolery. But why was I escorted by a buffoon in such drab outerwear? All I am saying is - if you're going to sic the fashion police on me for a faux-pas, at least be well-dressed for the occasion!

The guard's poor choice of dress..

That's what hurts the most.

[Winterborne]

Nathan grumbles to himself loudly about the Fashion Police arresting him for no reason, as a fellow victim.

He affixes a note.

I have been arrested numerous times while carrying no weapon but while garbed in pink floral design. I am certain the guards are simply lashing out due to their drab attire.

- Steward Nathan Goldenmane