A Fond Farewell

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DaloLorn
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A Fond Farewell

Unread post by DaloLorn » Mon Jun 10, 2019 8:58 am

Introduction
Hi, everyone.

If you are reading this, then my suspicions have been confirmed, and I have been rendered incapable of effectively using a mouse, a keyboard, or both. I wish I could say this was entirely unexpected, but I have been anticipating this moment since the last weeks of May.

Some of you may remember me complaining about having trouble with one of my hands on the 23rd. For a brief period, I seemed to make a complete recovery, but this lasted for less than a whole week, and by the time I finally got around to preparing this message on the 4th and 5th of June, I estimated that I would have maybe a week before my symptoms returned in full - and that they probably wouldn't go away again without medical intervention (if at all).

Good News, Bad News
The good news is, there probably is a medical solution, so I'll still be good for something besides doing a Shali imitation and lying in bed all day. As for the bad news... there's a pretty good chance I won't be coming back, even after I've recovered.

For one, NWN2's control scheme seems to be particularly hard on my hands. While I'm sure this has been slowly cooking up for years, the three months I've been on this server definitely haven't helped, and I don't know if I'll be stable enough to afford that kind of wear and tear again. (Who am I kidding? Until now, I've been perfectly comfortable overriding my better judgment to get a little more RP in before all hell breaks loose, so why would I feel any different later? :roll:)

However, even if I am crazy, apathetic or simply bored enough to take my chances, I don't think it'll be up to me. If there's one thing I've learned in my nearly-22 years of life, it's that my parents will veto my decisions in a heartbeat if they believe it's worth the trouble. If I've posted this message, chances are I'm about to lose all agency in the matter for the foreseeable future... so that's probably cutting my gaming time down to a big, fat zero. Trying to delay that scenario is why I have so far been reluctant to draw further attention to my ongoing deterioration, as it would deny me the opportunity to control the circumstances of my departure... or the ability to see if I might still bounce back from this. (You can all see how well that worked, huh?)

Now What?
Speaking of my departure, I have some loose ends that need to be tied up. I would prefer to pretend none of this ever happened, in case I ever come back... but on the timescales we're talking about, this really isn't feasible. So, I'm gonna wrap these up as well as I can, hopefully leaving just enough leeway to make some kind of comeback if the need arises.

Shali Menner
Hidden: show
Shali cannot be found in the Friendly Arm, Baldur's Gate, Candlekeep... She seems to have disappeared into the ground. Her backpack and other belongings (like her training outfit) are still in her room at the Friendly Arm Inn, so she presumably expects to return there sometime.

Travelers (you may want to reach an agreement on who that will be) on the Lion's Waynear Thundar's Ride may notice a trail of scorched beetles, gnolls,goblins, worgs, bugbears, etc. along the road. Just after reaching the bridgeShortly after crossing the river, the trail of destruction suddenly goes off the road - almost immediately, the observed causes of death start to shift from fire and magic to slashing injuries, likely inflicted by a sword. As you follow the battle to the southeastnorth to Boareskyr Bridge, you find the broken blade of a simple longsword, and a blood-stained strip of red fabric.

A few meters furtherNear the bridge, you see a few humanoid corpses, mauled by large, powerful claws akin to a troll. Opportunistic bandits, perhaps, finding that their victim still had enough tricks left to put up a fight... but who was the victor?
Hidden: show
By my estimates, there is no way Shali could willingly choose to indefinitely leave the Sword Coast unless she never intended to return again. Shali's last battle - while a bit contrived, since I'd need to pick a fight with the entire Lion's Way mapThundar's Ride and Boareskyr Bridge maps at night to produce the outcomes described above - should leave enough evidence to conclude that she was ambushed and defeated by bandits after a lengthy confrontation with the map's other denizens.

At the same time, although any investigation is likely to conclude that she was killed, there is just enough uncertainty about the matter that I can later play it off as simply being captured by her assailants. In that scenario, I would then be able to come up with some kind of explanation for why she took as long as she did to come back.
Silia Evrine
Hidden: show
Messengers are dispatched to He'chice'ra Jr'eivra [Red Sisters, Vermithraxus, Holdir, Mormegil, The King, and probably multiple other account names... :roll:], Lomir [Kaeldre], Atum Moon [Rune8] and Jhaldrym [abowlofgelo], each delivering a letter from the ilharess of Qu'ellar Evrine. The letters each describe an attempt on Silia's life, stating that remaining in Sshamath is something she can no longer afford. In Silia's absence, Hechi is in charge of Qu'ellar Evrine's operations in Sshamath; if she is unable to do so, that responsibility is to be passed on to Lomir.

Should Atum be the only one of Silia's remaining followers, he is advised to seek refuge and employment with Jhaldrym in Bregan D'aerthe. In addition to being informed of the qu'ellar's change in leadership, all of the others are warned that the young sorcerer has virtually no familiarity with his culture, and advised that some patience may eventually turn him into a valuable asset. Perhaps.
Hidden: show
Okay, so this was kinda tricky. I have had extremely limited contact with any of Silia's underlings since her return from Menzoberranzan, so I have no idea how things are standing on that front. My latest information suggested Lomir was being ignored in favor of Kaeldre's other characters, but still remained loyal to Silia; Hechi's player has not been identified on any character since I left, and I haven't seen Atum since I first recruited him.

Were I reasonably certain of who would hear about this first, I would probably only have provided the one letter - as it stands, there is a scary number of possible outcomes, but things should work out reasonably close to what I was aiming for here.

As for Silia herself, she may or may not return - although it seems implausible that the letters were outright falsified, it is possible that she was coerced into writing them, or that she died for miscellaneous reasons later. Who knows?
Everyone else
Hidden: show
Shali and Silia were the only characters I had with any strong ties to the Sword Coast (or Sshamath, in Silia's case). Ollandor, Siril, Mainda, Hugishnak, and Vichan have all made their fair share of acquaintances, but they have neither Shali's friendships nor Silia's marginal authority to tie them down to a specific location.

As such, they can be assumed to have quietly left the Sword Coast sometime since their last appearances. Some of them might not even have left - they may just be keeping a low profile. Who knows? More importantly, who cares? It won't be of any consequence until I need to explain what they've been doing in my absence, and I don't even know if I'll need to do that yet.
Parting Words
I have not written this post to seek pity, or sympathy. Whatever comes next, it is the culmination of a lifetime (if only a brief one :P) of deliberate decisions that cannot be undone, decisions which have inevitably locked me onto this path. Decisions whose outcomes I was initially ignorant of, yes, but it would be a mistake to deny just how long I have been aware of the consequences - how long I have told myself "Nah, it'll be okay" or "That won't happen to me," refusing to believe it will come to this until it was far too late to stop it. No - if there is anything about this that is worthy of being pitied, it is the consistently poor judgment that allowed it to happen (and, by the time this is posted, will have continued to do so).

Instead, I have written it for two reasons. One was to provide closure for my characters, yes. But I believe the other one is just as important. You see, even though I've only been here a few months (and spent one of those almost completely offline), I have found something here that I haven't seen in years. Something that should not be left unmentioned, not in what may very well be my final moments as a member of this community.

My first encounter with online gaming was a long time ago, in a number of Star Wars games sometime during the last decade. (Look, that was almost half a lifetime for me! :P) I was... not very nice to be around. Nonetheless, as broken as it was, there was a sense of community, finding people with similar interests and... shooting them down or outmaneuvering their fleets and armies, or being pissed off when they did the same to me. Yeah, I'm gonna stick with "not nice" there, but the community bit was satisfying.

Later, a few months after StarCraft 2 first released, I found something else entirely in the "Cortex Roleplay" custom maps. Suddenly, I was with people who shared my own interest in creating and playing out our own adventures instead of mindlessly blowing things up or repeating the same conflicts over and over again. (Not that I don't still do that sometimes.) This was a whole new world for me, and in hindsight, I still wasn't very good at making people like me. Which mattered a lot more in Cortex than it did in, say, Star Wars Battlefront. Despite this, I made a few friends, and one of my greatest regrets in these past 5-6 years has been failing to keep those friendships alive. They went one way, and I just... dropped out.

Since then, I've been wandering from community to community, looking for those magical feelings that I'd lost along the way. Star Ruler 2, Movie Battles 2, Neverwinter, The SWG emulators "Legends" and "[An?] Empire in Flames"... Each of these had something, but none of them felt quite right. EiF was the closest, by far, but the bulk of its population has always been focused on a timeslot that I would not be capable of making for years, at the very least. I could find a community there, but it was perpetually just out of reach, taunting me and my inability to break out of the confines of my European timezone.

And then I found this place. A chain of lucky accidents, both outside and inside the game, simply dropped me into your midst. A community large enough, robust enough that timezones were no obstacle, united by the same goals that have been driving me for nearly a decade. A place to let my imagination run wild, and add one more thread (or seven :P) to the fabric of a world that we could enjoy building and exploring together.

A home.

I don't know if I'm coming back (though I'm likely to lurk around in Discord from time to time). I don't know if you'll even have to read this, and the closer I am to finishing this message, the more I hope I'm wrong about having to write it. But I know that, whatever happens next, it has been an honor to be a part of this community, and you will all be missed.

Thank you, goodbye...

And good luck.



(P.S. Edited Shali's fate to be slightly more in line with her current level, and made a few minor tweaks to the rest. This morning's encounter with the Krinkraks actually gave her a passable excuse to try snooping around the High Moor...)

(P.P.S. My condition hasn't yet reached the critical stage I originally expected to prompt this message, but it's gotten bad enough that I can no longer make any pretense of normal functionality. So, that's that.

On a lighter note: I don't think I should learn any more Divination spells. I'm obviously predicting the future just fine with the stuff I've got. :P)
European player, GMT+1. Active in Discord.
Cast of characters:
  • Shali Menner
  • Ollandor Ilvanthis
  • Siril Alenor
  • Silia Evrine
  • Mainda Fennemen
  • Hugishnak Tenck

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Mursey
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Re: A Fond Farewell

Unread post by Mursey » Mon Jun 10, 2019 10:32 am

Good luck Dalo Lorn.

I wish you all the best, and hope that one day you'll recover sufficiently to be able to come back to us.

-Mursey

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Balthomer
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Re: A Fond Farewell

Unread post by Balthomer » Mon Jun 10, 2019 10:33 am

Hoping for the best for you, much love and good vibes for you.

Cheers
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YourMoveHolyMan
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Re: A Fond Farewell

Unread post by YourMoveHolyMan » Mon Jun 10, 2019 11:29 am

Only met you but brief, but it was nice to have met you and I wish you well and a full recovery.
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Max Hatchet
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Re: A Fond Farewell

Unread post by Max Hatchet » Mon Jun 10, 2019 11:31 am

I hope you recover soon

I’ve had problems in the past with RSI - physical hand problems from computer overuse - if that is one of your problems it can be overcome
Gloriana Dragonsbane - Dragon lover, reluctant Dragonslayer, Member of Mystran Church in Baldurs Gate
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gotesu
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Re: A Fond Farewell

Unread post by gotesu » Mon Jun 10, 2019 12:32 pm

Be well!

was a pleasure rp-ing with you

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LISA100595
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Re: A Fond Farewell

Unread post by LISA100595 » Mon Jun 10, 2019 1:20 pm

I wish you the best of luck and hope for a recovery for you!
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Maecius
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Re: A Fond Farewell

Unread post by Maecius » Mon Jun 10, 2019 1:45 pm

That was a very well-spoken and meaningful message, DaloLorn. Though, naturally, I'm sorry that it had to be written.

I hope things improve for you in the weeks and months to come: We may not have had an opportunity to write or play together, but I'm glad to hear that you were able to find belonging here with this community.

Know that it should still be here should you recover over time, or should you find alternative ways to play (I don't know if NWN2 would work with voice recognition software, for example, but that might be one way around typing emotes).

Either way, though, thank you for letting everyone know what's going on. I'm sure your characters's friends (and enemies) appreciate having the closure. It's always jarring when a "main character" just disappears into thin air!

I'm glad that you gave them a way to return in the future, too. Hope to see you playing again eventually!

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athornforyourheart
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Re: A Fond Farewell

Unread post by athornforyourheart » Mon Jun 10, 2019 1:53 pm

One thing I've learned is this community is that we understand and care for our own, you sir, our one of our own.

I wish you a healthy and speedy recovery friend.

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DaloLorn
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Re: A Fond Farewell

Unread post by DaloLorn » Mon Jun 10, 2019 2:27 pm

… Nobody's found Shali's stuff (or Silia's mail) yet, have they? :oops:

I may have overestimated just about everything about the current situation. How grossly, I don't know yet, but perhaps letting everyone believe Shali was dead may have been premature. (As was the 'deathbed confession' that made up half of the OP... But, better to say it too soon than not at all! Right? :|)
European player, GMT+1. Active in Discord.
Cast of characters:
  • Shali Menner
  • Ollandor Ilvanthis
  • Siril Alenor
  • Silia Evrine
  • Mainda Fennemen
  • Hugishnak Tenck

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Fury_US
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Re: A Fond Farewell

Unread post by Fury_US » Tue Jun 11, 2019 2:10 pm

Good thing our characters live in a world where death is a temporary inconvenience at best! On the OOC side, be sure to err on the side of caution, and do not over tax yourself, no matter how addictive that RP urge is. Find a balance for yourself!
Wren Di'Corvi
"A bit ex-Zhentric" -Winterborne

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DaloLorn
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Re: A Fond Farewell

Unread post by DaloLorn » Wed Jun 12, 2019 8:48 am

Fury_US wrote:
Tue Jun 11, 2019 2:10 pm
Good thing our characters live in a world where death is a temporary inconvenience at best! On the OOC side, be sure to err on the side of caution, and do not over tax yourself, no matter how addictive that RP urge is. Find a balance for yourself!
Well, it's only a temporary inconvenience if someone finds you in time to raise you. :P



Anyway, I've had some more time to reassess the situation. In what is simultaneously a very disappointing and a very convenient turn of events, the only effects of bringing this to my parents' attention have been getting an hour off work this Monday, and strongly-worded recommendations to the effect of "maybe you should tone the gaming down a notch". (Gee, thanks for that bit of insight! How did that never occur to me? :roll:)

It's disappointing because it means I have to wait for them to work up to my current mindset before we can move away from the realm of pseudo-educated guesswork and half-solutions. I had hoped that the benefits of raising the issue with them would outweigh the control loss that typically occurs when they've got me under a magnifying glass - evidently, this is not yet the case.

On the flip side, it's convenient because my exit - while still unavoidable - can be handled a little more gracefully than "everyone vanishes for some reason". A little. :P Also, it greatly improves my projected odds of returning to BGTSCC, so I don't need to make my characters' fates ambiguous anymore. (And, of course, until my condition catches up to the state described in the OP - as I'm sure it will soon enough - I can still pop in on Discord and the forums from time to time.)



Unfortunately, I still have no idea how to kick Silia out of Sshamath for an indefinite period without resorting to the botched(?) assassination attempt. Going after her sister worked once, but that was a task with a predictable (if slightly padded) duration. So yeah, that's going through without any further modifications.

Shali's exit story is going to be tweaked a little, though. She's still going to get in way over her head trying to snoop around the High Moor - to that extent, the OP can be taken as a valid account of what happened. However, she will remain accessible via Sending and other appropriate spells (as will all my other characters, though this will obviously need to be done somewhat asynchronously via forums or Discord), and will have teleported back to the Friendly Arm sometime in the next 48 hours, minus a large chunk of her tunic. After she's had time to clean up, she'll pack up and head back home to spend some time with her family. (I'm hoping to get in a quick session with Isabella before I put her on the next ship to Waterdeep, but failing that, she'll probably leave a letter at Candlekeep or something.)
European player, GMT+1. Active in Discord.
Cast of characters:
  • Shali Menner
  • Ollandor Ilvanthis
  • Siril Alenor
  • Silia Evrine
  • Mainda Fennemen
  • Hugishnak Tenck

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