- Recognized Donor
- Posts: 252
- Joined: Tue Jun 28, 2016 12:25 pm
This post is taking a surprising amount of courage to just even put here, but I feel that everyone who interacts with my characters should know this about myself.
On server as a global handle, and on Discord as my chat handle I go by Featherfox (or Frosty). I currently control the following known characters:
- Diane Evon, Archer of Candlekeep
- Brigitte Degenhardt, Ebon Blade
- Victoria Lightheart, Sorceress of Ilmater
- Matilda Creighton, Bardic Everwatch Cadet
My activity cycle on this server has been random at best. The reason for this is because I am severely disabled.
I suffer from social anxiety, performance anxiety, PTSD, and things I know I'm forgetting. I am receiving ongoing medical treatment for my problems. However, while to most of you BGTSCC is a game; a place to relax, de-stress, and hang out with good friends, this server has a different meaning for me entirely.
I desire strongly for everyone to have fun; that means myself, the people I interact with, and the DMs I interact with whom run the world. Without my control; I often put the enjoyment of others ahead of myself as a means to justify my presence here on the server. It's wrong to do that - I know it is - but knowing something is wrong doesn't magically make it better (annoyingly!).
I very much enjoy telling stories with you through roleplay. The mechanics are outdated, but I still have fun messing around with build ideas and power strength. My point; I have a lot of reasons to be here and enjoy this game. However, for fear of losing those things, my anxiety plagues me with doubts, what if's, and opportunities to self-sabotage my presence here.
When you don't see me for stretches of time - this is why. I'm not avoiding people, I'm avoiding the situation. I need time to recover - yes, I do mean that in full - from the stress I do experience playing here. However, I want that stress. I want that exposure. Already I have discovered two minor issues about myself while playing here that has helped therapy progress forward. I'm not saying that this game was essential to my progress, but I am saying it was helpful in triggering reactions.
Anyway, I said this story will be short so that's enough. You now know why I'm sometimes here, and sometimes gone for unexplained stretches.
I love you guys; and wish to keep playing here. Thanks for reading this, and I hope you gain a bit of useful insight from it.
- Posts: 291
- Joined: Sun Jun 12, 2011 3:03 pm
- Location: US (EST)
The nice thing about this community is that you can easily come and go with no issue. It's been here a long time and will be here when you get back. So do what you need to do to care for yourself, and thank you for sharing something that was likely not easy to share.
Steward and Head of Business, House Darius -
Guard and Performer, The Siren's Song
- Posts: 45
- Joined: Wed Sep 29, 2010 3:56 am
- Location: City of Odin
This is the definition of a great roleplayer as Gygax himself formulates it.I often put the enjoyment of others ahead of myself
I haven't encountered you IG I think. I think the game could a be a good way to learn to expose yourself to your anxieties, or an outlet for an otherwise stressfull life.
But thanks for the HU, I'll try'n see if I can get into some RP with you.
- Global Admin
- Posts: 11270
- Joined: Sat May 16, 2009 4:24 pm
I'm glad your experience here has been largely positive and helpful for you. I'll do what I can, in my small way, to help to ensure that this place is always here for you whenever you are feeling up to playing the game!
- Posts: 436
- Joined: Wed Jul 06, 2016 3:08 am
Jennifer and A Drow.
- Posts: 652
- Joined: Wed Feb 03, 2016 12:21 pm
- Location: United Kingdom
- Recognized Donor
- Posts: 573
- Joined: Mon Jan 17, 2011 10:21 pm
- Location: Geraldton, Western Australia
Reiker Vexx ("Adventurer") - Fortune favors the bold.
Cyrus Raviin (Conjurer) - Power always comes at a price. The question is, are you willing to pay?
Abraxsis Dul'Khan (Merchant) - Oooo now isn't that shiny?
- Posts: 104
- Joined: Wed Jan 20, 2010 9:27 pm
This server is restorative for a number of reasons:
It's a video game that you play with other people, and who doesn't love to play video games.
It's a creative outlet for as much or as little as you want it to be. That means you can adjust your attention levels to trying to improve your written word or explore characterization, perhaps make journals, do fan art, create area maps in the game or even just sitting in a town toggling with an appearance changer. If you're feeling a bit anxious and just want to click some buttons on this clunky but entertaining system that is NWN2 then you can, and perhaps you will bump into someone who will gently coax you into some roleplay and gently engage you again.
The enjoyment of all of these things and the many others that I probably forgot to mention all depend on its community. People would be playing an MMO for the social element or a MOBA for the mechanical elements if that's what they wanted from an online game. This server sits in a unique spot I haven't seen elsewhere. A lot of this is owing to the small but stable community, so you can not only build connections as players and characters but you can observe people's written stories develop over time and that alone adds an entertainment value like watching your favorite series.
In my experience, I have a better time if I know my roleplay is good for those around me. I'm concerned that you are putting others enjoyment ahead of yourself - but this is causing you discomfort. Perhaps try to think about who you roleplay with and what it is that you think causes this, it could be that you feel others do not appreciate your interactions or it is one-sided, in which case maybe you could talk to them and find out if that's correct, people are not always socially forthcoming! If these experiences deter you from playing the server I would hope you found others that don't make you feel that way, because I am sure the community is all the better for your enjoyment and presence in it!
Sorry if this was long, and I don't think I have met your characters in much detail but I am always happy to roleplay!
Best wishes with your days ahead!
Elvaene De'lindessa Semi-active
Nina Tidytoes (Plar) Inactive