Baldur's Gate : The Sword Coast Chronicles : NWN2 Persistent World

The first 100 years is always a haze. When you are still so close to Arvandor, your mind drifting back to memories of past existences with every reverie, the pull of this material realm is not so strong to bind you yet. Then those memories start to fade, leaving nothing beside what you lived through in this lifetime so far, thus your recent experiences will take on the lead to define what you are. My first pivotal experience here was encountering the Weave. Nudging my senses gently, I could feel, later I could see the waves of magic folding around everything living, the rivers’ flow was entangled with a flow of living energy, the trees’ trunks reached up to lead that energy to the sky and beyond. But how I realized my gift, so did others, and my path was set to learn and always enhance what I have, and take on the expectations which came with the role of a distinguished wizard. And it all was fine. With recognition, came new tasks, I was sent to serve my People on the Coast. I learned how to live in a human city, I found my first real friend in Nezkreal, I took on the task to lead the Church of the Lady of Mysteries when there was a need for it. I found a new home in Doron Amar, and I dared for the first time to let my guard down to the people there, Laeria, Faelyn, Drezzan, Helevorn.. At every new place, I assumed new roles on myself, trying to follow what was expected of me, even when those expectations altered how I was percieving myself before. But that was all fair, since that is how life works, we influence eachother. I came to understood what unwavering trust means when meeting Nathan, and experienced what it feels to wage a seemingly endless war against an unfathomable evil. I remember clearly the excitement returning to my home after all those years, when everything seemed fine, how I took on the mantle to be a teacher of the Art again. So I remember the night when that wizard approached me, only to start a sequence of events that eventually stripped me of my gift, probably forever.

What followed, was a year of silence, submission to leave behind what I was, to walk the Coast again but with a palette of colors forever lost from my sight. Even if what happened wasn’t my fault initially, noone accompanied me on my road except my shame. The mind seeks escape from the state of misery, so did I, finding at last a group of individuals who accepted me in their small circle. Kelian, Lamth’ari, Corneille, Cruice.. they taught me how to smile again. So I took on the role of a friend, pretending to be able to forgot of my past and live for their happiness – curious how such self-imposed roles could shatter to pieces only within a few days. Distrust grew and misunderstandings followed, and I found myself again to be torn by expectations I would never be able to respond to.

So what of me now, after all these years? If nothing else, I realized that running from my fears won’t take me forward, so I won’t do that anymore. Maybe I should take all that happened as a chance to see what I would like to be. I need to find a way to compensate for the skills I lost, but I feel I’m ready to learn, to train, and fight again, harder than ever before.

Still in Soubar. Though I did not plan so, Lamth'ari's presence made me stay, and if nothing else, observe. I have to admit, I did not consider her too much back in the days when our group was still together. I always assumed Corneille was the mastermind behind their schemings, and now I stand here dumbfounded. Every day, I watch her playing with forces that could crush her at any moment, yet she deals with them with such mastery... it's almost frightening. And while it amazes me to watch, it also fills me with uneasiness, I have to be more cautious. What if I overlooked some crucial things regarding her?

For now, I will stay and help them unfold the mysteries about this strange quest we were caught into. Something's brewing in Soubar, and I do not like how it looks even the slightest.

It's so dark. And cold. Many days have passed, and my eyes got somewhat used to the abscence of light, but the cold remains. The caves are eerily silent, the sounds of even the quickest skirmish echo far along the caverns. The few creatures I encountered on my way, didn't notice me though. That's something I could be proud of, eh? Maybe I will be able to treasure this experience more when I'm out of here. If I get out of here.

The upperdark is so vast, and the mines seem to stretch far in all possible directions. The last tendays exploring feel nothing compared to what looms ahead. I could rest a little at every turn, hiding in small crevices or abandoned camps, but the silence haunts me still. Closing my eyes won't bring me comfort when I see nothing but darkness even when I'm awake. So cold, and dark. So lonely.

How I miss my little room now, the songs you were playing on your mandoline, your stupid jokes... and my books, the comfort of my soft bed! Gods! ...This day may be the worst of all...

...Hehh.. whatever. It's useless complaining. I could go back to those chambers, but that wouldn't change a thing, nothing would be as it was before. And I have a clear purpose here and now, a goal to achieve.

Above all, I just hope you will hear these words someday. I have not forgotten about you.

Ahahahh~

It's a cavern obscured by magical darkness, but it was there! There's a portal, I'm sure of it. The runes spoke of intricate design, and even if I can't read them anymore, I can recognize the complexity. I found a portal. Stepping through it unprepared however, would have been foolish.

And that is not even all that happened today! By Erevan's love, you would surely be intrigued by the inexplicability of my blind luck... or should I hope Sehanine still looks after me even when walking so down below? When trying to find my way back, I heared footsteps up ahead - they were so loud and reckless they felt resonating against the walls - it was that man from the inn. That lackey who Lamth'ari lured out with her honey-sweet smile so we could find a clue about this shadowy business. He was alone, but not for long. I could barely start tailing him when a druergar came on top of him with a hammer, and crushed him to the ground before he could even move a finger.. a fine reminder to not walk conceided where you do not belong.. Hmh... However! I checked him when the druergar left, and found that he wasn't beyond help. A single wand could stabilize his condition just enough to keep him clinging on his dear life...

Well. The wind is chilly up here, and the sun has not dived behind the barren mountain ranges yet. I can soon make my way back to the town. This man is laying soundlessly like a sack of wheat.. probably I should check on his pulse again.

You know I... keep wondering what saving his life will cost me..
But I'm taking him to Lamth'ari.
I will give her a chance to redeem herself.

The hot steam of the bath dulled her senses, and let her mind rest at last. The stench of half-dried blood was washed out of her hair, the smell replaced with the shoothing scent of the herbal soap that came with the bath. The borrowed white satin robe softly embraced her body, a strange, almost alien feeling after the hardships of the last few days. Her freshly washed hair unrestrainedly weaved around her face when she stopped before the small mirror that hung from the wall, golden eyes curiously scanning the image that she didn’t care to inspect much nowadays. She tilted her head to the side and pushed the brown tresses away to search for the remains of the terrible cut that sent her to the ground last night. But the wound was nowhere to be found, the priests did make an excellent job.

She walked back into the room, the soup she ordered before was readily waiting on the table, but the elf didn’t feel like eating just yet. Glancing around, she picked up the tiara that was laying on the cabinet, and gently caressed the middle stone with her tumb while walking to the large window of the room. The sun was down already, and the voices quitened around the Warrior’s Rest. Strange memories of the lessons her mother taught her a hundred years ago… how does one sit on a window sill in a perfect posture? She collected the edges of the robe and sat up, letting the heavy fabric of the dress flow down in waves like water from a fountain. A quick move of the clever clasp and the headpiece was on it’s place, a melodic sentence in elven and she felt the magic of stone reaching out for her mind.





You see... Lately I've started to realize a strange pattern of events. A pattern, that converges around certain points, those points attracting more and more weight and engaging in a circular dance, but never fully colliding. A pattern, that allows one to navigate.

Until a few days ago, I was confused about how my little friend's words start to make more and more sense to me, while the actions of those whom I looked upon before seem more foolish day by day. But now - maybe because I recently had to be resurrected, maybe not - I don't feel like lamenting anymore. If anything, I feel excitement.

It would be wise to stop using my kiira for the time being. And who knows, one day I might just appear before you in Arborea, and tell you everything in person.

This was the first time of him reaching out for her.

A lazy-flowed stream hurled around the broken rays of the rising sun on the tranquil, wide plateau above the eastern shore of River Chiontar.
"You seem to have found a beautiful, peaceful spot up here." - the sunelf inclined her head to the soldier who stood on the plateau, waiting for her.
As if not hearing her words, the man gestured to the hill on the other side of the valley stretching under them. His voice was stern when he spoke, much like one lecturing a band of warriors.
"The highest ground is exposed to enemy fire, there," - he pointed toward a spot where an enemy archer could deploy itself - "there" - his gloved hands moved on to another spot, from which they were exposed to a supposed attack - "and there. Hence, to both enjoy the high ground, but not it's dangers - a force should move slightly below the highest ground, the hill itself serving as cover."
The female's eyes widened, realizing at last the purpose of his call. As if to demonstrate, he warrior moved himself to the more secure ground.
"A force moving from here would be able to quickly move into firing positions, then retreat before the enemy can react." - gesturing around them, he kept explaining how a warring force should move, using the plateau to the best of it's advantages.
"There is, however, a soft spot in this strategy, in this dance of back and forth - what would you think it is, sister?"

Candlemarks went by like that, the warrior explained and asked, she replied, and he corrected her in return. A sense of opportunity or failure came to exist upon the features of the land, as an ever-changing battlefield was drawn out before her eyes. Only a tiny piece of decades-worth experience, which now was gifted in exchange for a little measure of care and respect. When she left the plateau at last, the warrior stayed behind to set up a camp.

Descending down the hillside, her mind was silent.
Memories that haunted her since last day, now she could more easily push away.
"I'm sure you can take these and improve." - The words of that other one still stung deep, like a rapier.
She shook her head.

She was looking for teachers. And now, she's found the first.

Half a candlemark before sunset, an elven scout was standing on the path leading onto the Firewine Bridge. Hood pulled deep down, a few careful steps were taken forward, circling around the spots that still held some tracks of the battle that took place there, visible to the keen elven eyes. At the edge of the bridge where the low stone railing started, she crouched down, running her fingers along the gap between the stones, the leather of her gloves picking up some of the dried blood that seeped into the slit. Standing up, she rubbed her fingers together, eyeing the red of the stain.

As the sun sets, Traegan makes his way to the Bridge, slipping off the trail by the ruins, he arrives at the ruined portal. Shouldering his bow and taking a seat on the cool grass, he waits for Syndreth to show.

Not much later the sun elf arrives from the direction of the bridge, not caring to silence her steps. When he notices the hunter sitting in the grass, several steps away still, she stops, head tilted down, the hood shadows her eyes as she's looking at him silently.

Hearing her approaching steps, Traegan pushes himself up from the ground and turns to her with a growing smile
"Good evening Syndreth. I'm glad you contacted me. I know things are a little crazy right now... But, we're still good, though, right?"
His smile would turn apologetic and his eyes belay the fact that he's sorry.

Stance kept wide, the elf keeps watching him for a time, not a word or single expression crossing her face for several heartbeats.
When she opens her mouth at last, her voice is quiet and dry.
"What have you done?"

"I followed orders, Syndreth. I was told to kill the drowess."
His body language would suggest he's shifting from friendly to guarded
"You've called me here for what, then?"

A faint tilt of the head to the side as she observes his change. Yet, she doesn't shift her stance, nor her hands move anywhere from being loosely hanging by her sides.
"Were you ordered to kill elves as well?"

"No. But what would you have me do? I downed the drowess in but a few heartbeats. Then Kethelis shifted form and charged me. I had no choice but to put him down as well. Once they were bound, Tristan healed their wounds."
His stance, still guarded, not hostile, but defensive should she spring. He knows she is quicker than him in close quarters.
"If he had not done so, I wouldn't have fired any arrows at him."
"The same goes for Boots. She attacked me, Syndreth. I was just defending myself."
'I had no intention of killing any elves."
"Or anyone for that matter besides the drow."
"You all came to me to ask that I not harm anyone that was with the drow.. Did any of you ask those with her to not harm me? Well? Did you?"
"Of course you didn't."
He turns his back to her and looks out over the trail
"I'm just a (do-me) half-breed. I don't matter, right?"

She's standing still, waiting for his explanation to conclude. Golden gaze tracing his features until he turns his back to her. Unseen by him, a single brow rises at his outburst.
"I did, Traegan. I tried to convince Kethelis not to help her anymore. I tried to reason with Michael, explaining how he's going against a god's wishes. And I did invite you to Doron Amar, did you forget?"
A moment of silence follows then she steps forward once, but then abruptly stops, her face twitching into a grimace.
"I don't care about the drow, and I don't care about Michael's orders either."
"Why did you have to be there?"

"I'm the weapon, Syndreth. The one they point at a target. I was their best chance at killing her."
His back still turned to her, not moving as she stepped closer
"I follow the Seldarine too, Syndreth. I didn't hear or feel anything that day. Not a presence, not a whisper."
He reaches up, running a hand over his head, smoothing his hair back
"I'm sorry if I've let you down. You are the last person I wanted to hurt in all this."

She scoffs, and a longer silence follows again. Then step by step, the soft grass bends under her feet as she walks. Keeping the same distance, she makes a circle to arrive in line with, turning the same way as he does.
"A weapon, that is? You describe yourself with that one word? And how good you feel by being such?"

"It's what I'm good at, Syndreth. Second nature. There is no feeling involved with it. It just... is. Believe me when I tell you I meant no harm to Kethelis or Vanira. Even still, I wasn't going to stand idle while they tried to take my life."
He would shift his gaze from the trail to her
"You scoff, but it's true. I didn't want to hurt you."

She rises her chin a bit, not looking at him as her eyes linger on the stretching shadows over the Trail.
"You didn't have to humiliate him." - her nose wrinkles as she turns her head to look at the hunter
"Taking an ear, Traegan? How are you better than the monsters you fight?"

He would turn his gaze away from her as her words cut into him like a dagger
"I shouldn't have done that, you're right. But, why is the blame shifted onto me, when he charged at me? Vanira attacked me. Yet all eyes look at me like I did something wrong. Maybe I am a monster, Syndreth."
He would release a soft sigh into the crisp night air and the last word fell from his lips.

Her brows slightly rise, watching his reactions. The sun elf's head follows the movement as it turns back and away to the road. Her words are quieter and maybe even a little softer when she speaks.
"That is not what I saw, when we were talking at that little camp in the Glimmerwood. Nor when we were tracking the Thayans in the mountains. What I saw... is that you are used as a weapon. And you have no intention to be more. Nor to dare to think for yourself."

He slightly flinches away from the words as she speaks
"A soldier follows orders. I was given the order to kill the drow. I am sorry your friends tried to defend her. Taking Kethelis' ear was stupid. I was caught up in the bloodlust of battle and made a poor choice."
His shoulders slump somewhat as the next words are spoken
"I'm sorry."

A single shake to the head, showing she's not satisfied with that answer yet. Her arms come into a fold before her chest, as the elf is staring down on the darkening road. Her next words are weighted heavily by the emotions that seem to have surfaced now despite her efforts to keep them hidden.
"The only reason we are still talking, is because they were saved by Corellon. The only reason you are not hunted like orcs - for those are akin in brutality to what you all have done on that bridge - is that they are still alive and well. You can be sorry, but what would that worth if it didn't came down in this 'fortunate' way?"
Her jaw tightens as she silences for a few moments.

"Syndreth. It was their choice to take up arms against me. Their choice to press an attack. If they would have died and not come back, that was their choice in the end. Not mine. I understand they are elves, your friends, so they weigh more in your mind than the half-breed beside you. Your affection for them allows you to see past their decisions."
He would look at her then, his voice calm
"Do it. Take my life and be the savior of your People. Their hero. The slayer of the monster."
He would turn so that his back was to her, exposing himself to any attack.
"Do it for the Seldarine. I'm sure Kethelis will be proud."

Her eyes widen a bit as she turns to look at him at those words, face holding a mild disbelief when he shows his back to her again. And indeed, the elf steps out and towards him, swiftly closing up on him. But when she reaches, she passes him as well, softly turning on one leg to stand in front of him. The move of her legs blending with that of her arm, she would reach for his hand to gently rise it - if he doesn't dodge or attack - opening and turning his palm upwards.

He would make no moves to stop her or show any signs of aggression. Just stands there with eyes closed, waiting for her strike. His eyes would open slowly to look her in her eyes as she lifted his hand.

She holds her gaze down as her other hand moves to her armor, retrieving a small medallion from one of the hidden pockets. That placed down in his open palm, he would recognize it quickly - this was the amulet he gave to her for safekeeping. Gloved hands move to enfold his fingers on the medallion, as she releases his hand, and rises her eyes to look at him.
"Take this back. You will need it."
She takes a step back, but still holding her eyes on those of the hunter's.
"You said you follow Tel'Seldarine, but you seem to understand nothing of their reasons, nor the depth of the love our kin holds towards life. But it shouldn't be that way, Traegan. You could stay closer and understand better, you have the ability for it." - her hand gently moves, motioning towards the amulet in his hand - "That is the proof of it. Take good care of that medallion, and what it represents for you."

"It would be easier if you'd just kill me, Syndreth."
The words roll off his tongue in a softly spoken manner
"I asked that you keep this close to the Seldarine for my mother who is no longer here. Are we no longer friends, Syndreth? Can you not see that I was defending myself? Or are you so blinded by all this that you can no longer see the truth?"

"Traegan, I'm giving you a chance, because we are friends. Leave the Vanguard. Leave them, because they are going down on a road of terror and blood lust, one that will turn the good-willed people on them because they are unable to see reason besides what their pockets dictate. That is a path down, and with no return. Why else would you wish me to hold onto that? Is it not because deep down you feel, she wouldn't be glad with the path you've chosen?"

"She needs to be close to her People, close to the Seldarine. I can't do that for her... I'm not welcome in your village, or the one to the north. It wouldn't matter now if I did leave the Vanguard. Your People want me dead. Giving this back to me is refusing my mother her rightful place. Please don't do this.."

She tilts her head, her eyes burning in a deeper shade of gold.
"If I were in her place, I would have given such a gift to my son so he could keep it close to himself, as well as to the Seldarine. I'm not taking it back. Because you are not without hope either. I know what I saw."
With that, she would turn to leave, if he didn't stop her.

He would not try to stop her. He would watch her as she left, silent. After her form melted into the ink black of night, Traegan would slump down near the ruined portal. The amulet of Sehanine rolling over in his hands as the words she spoke played over in his head. Sleep wouldn't come to the Hunter that night. Still staring out over the trail as the sun shined it's first light across the Greenfields.

Step by step, boots as if stuck in the deepest mud, her way let up to the abandoned camp in the southern edge of the Glimmerwood. Remains of a campfire, charred, scattered around, the sight weighted down her chest till she felt she could not walk anymore. Strength leaving the joints, she dropped on her knees.

Candlemarks passed and the sun dived behind the horizon. But it could not sunk deeper than her heart. Does it really have to end like this? Is there really no way to avoid bloodshed? Is there really no redemption by one's own accord?

None will be there for her either then.

On a sunlit, tiny glade, a sun elf female was practicing with a sword. The weight of the weapon visibly unfitting her frame, her moves were slower and much driven by the momentum of the swinging steel. Yet she kept on, forcing herself to gain control of the blade, while resignedly accepting how perfectly her outer struggle matched that of her mind.

"Was I really wrong not killing him?"

"There is no one to turn to now, no one to listen without casting judgement.."

The mithril chains of her armor glittered so passionately in the sun, yet their vibrant shine felt nothing else but mocking now.

The blade momentarily disappeared behind her back and gained momentum in a hidden twirl. Turning on her right and upfront leg, her left shifted backwards to follow the move, now facing the side towards she had her back a moment before. The blade itself gaining momentum from the turn, was drawn forward fluently, aiming to draw a horizontal circle at the neckline of an imaginary enemy.

"Am I really missing the compassion towards those I should care for?"
"Am I really incapable to return the love that..."

Distracted by her own thoughts though, the step forward was taken too wide as she twirled the sword in her hand, the swinging edge ricocheted from the nearest tree bark, altering the course of the circle. Sensing the change in the course, she was quick enough to snap her head to the side, letting the blade to pass her eyes unharmed, but drawing a biting line on her cheek nonetheless. Her grasp on the blade weakened, and the sword heavily tumbled down to the ground.

In disbelief, as a warm drop slowly rolled down on her cheek to her chin, she stared down on the majestic blade laying on the ground.
"No."
"Concentrate."
"Clear your mind."

"Many may have the luxury to contemplate on the morality of past acts all day long.."
A gloved hand reached down and grasped on the hilt of the blade again.
"But I'm not one of them anymore."

A traveling sack was tossed down on the nightstand, rolling to its side, the straps unfold it let some of it's contents to tumble to the ground.




A card was picked up from the ground for last, which made the gloved hand hesitate, a knight depicted on the surface of the paper. A rugged breath was let out as the elf dropped down on the bed with her back, not caring for the boots either this time.




The arm numbly fell to the side letting go of the card, as tangled memories started to fill her mind.

"How many people do you think had dared to stand up to injustice rather than cower behind empty words?"

"Not many, in my experience."

"Then you are correct - it is not your responsibility more than it is any of ours. But - "

" - But those who are willing to lead towards a brighter future, should."

"No. Those who are unwilling to lead, but cannot just let the ship of our people go without a guide, should."
"Those who are unwilling to lead, and got burnt by the trials of true efforts, of mistakes, of successes - should."
"Those who do not think themselves able, but who truly are - should."

"I do not know if you are one of these, if I am - but you are showing far greater promise than any of the others."
"A promise I am willing to put my weight on."

"As I said.. it was watching others that let me realize I was truly missing something.. there is a difference .. in living as an example.. and crippling them... to keep on the path they are with no reason to really change."

"So what are you expecting of me? To take a life in exchange for a life that wasn't really taken?"

"You .. should have told him to seek the forgiveness from those he truly wronged."

"How gloriously wise looking back from now!"

"Hind sight.. are lessons that we must learn from and walk forward with. Yes. So perhaps.. now .. you should seek forgiveness from others.. for not realizing you .. in a way .. granted him forgiveness for an action.. that wasn't taken against you."

"Syndreth, growing and learning is humbling .. even more so when you take up the mantle of leadership."

"We all knew you were .. going to need guidance and time to grow into your role. We chose you because we saw you as one that had the ability to grow.. and a bit of humility in you that you could see some of your own... faults and accept and grow from them. There is a promise to you and the leader that you will grow into."

... promise. What promise?

Gloved hands buried and clawed into her face.

And what's with this wretched feeling of doubt and loneliness?