All wear a mask.
For some it’s a means of concealment, meant to obfuscate their true intentions. For others, a means of entertainment, donning silly or joyously nonsensical faces meant to delight the people around them, sometimes for a living, other times merely for the rewarding fulfillment that comes with bettering the lives of fellow men. And for some it is a means of defense, a way to protect the dark and vulnerable parts of one’s self from unwelcome eyes, or to shield oneself from the pain of knowing that revealing too much would disappoint those whose approval they seek.
It may not always be a physical mask, but all bear one in some form or another.
A discarded and forgotten mask hammered from steel and mithril lay abandoned in some hellish place unseen and untouched by most mortals, far removed from the familiarity of Toril. A frigid wind kicked up plumes of fine dust about its half buried features, the eternal night of the colorless, lifeless, washed-out frozen hellscape bearing down from all sides. Nothing moved, nothing breathed, only the biting chill wind howled relentlessly, slowly burying the thing in silt and dust.
"He can't be allowed to have that sword!"
"I told you how I'd give it to him."
"So be it. You are mine, whelp."
"Garganix! I command you, stop this at once!"
"You do not command me any longer."
"I recover that sword and it's in your possession, she is free? Those are the binding terms?"
"Sabyn, you have no idea what you’re doing!"
"It is already done. Be silent, woman."
With a booming laugh, the balor vanished in a cloud of shadow and flame. The ankle deep water rippled and glinted in the only light the yawning damp cavern saw, emanating from the young woman’s amulet. She stood squared off across from the lean, bearded man whom was her only remaining companion, fists clenched at her sides, her hazel eyes burning with taut, silent fury.
The man faced her, solemn and unafraid, opening his hands to either side in surrender, bowing his head.
"Go ahead. Say everything you need to say."
She didn’t move or speak for several seconds, only stood there trembling in anger. When nothing happened, he lifted his eyes to look at her directly.
And he was met in the chin with a savage right cross, sending him bowling over backwards with a splash.
"And what!?"
She stomped through the water to stand over him, bristling, shaking out her right hand and grimacing from the dull pain of striking him.
"What will that do!? You didn’t listen to me! Now not only have I lost control of that thing I’ve loosed on our plane, you’ve pacted YOURSELF to it now, too!
The man winced, touching his fingers to his broken lower lip, working his aching jaw back and forth as he lay back in the water, propped up on his elbow. Peering at the blood on his fingers first, he then held the hand up towards her in a bid for calm, his own voice steady and unriled.
"I did, Carah. I listened to you more than you know. When this is over… it will be over."
Carah’s retort came in a barking shriek as she reached down for his tunic, violently giving him a shake as she stooped over the prone man.
"You’ve made it worse!!! How do you know ANYthing!? Did you not SEE that thing!? It’s ten times bigger than it was when I first bound it!!!"
"Of course I did."
"And now you’ve BOUND yourself to it, Sabyn! You’ve promised to hand over something that will make his master – MY master – unstoppable!"
Firm hands grasped her by the wrists, yanking them free and out to either side. Cool blue eyes stared fiercely back into hers.
"No. I promised he’d have possession of it. That’s what I promised him."
Carah jerked at her hands to free her wrists from the iron grip, but he held firm. Defiantly, she sneered down at him, still standing over him, despite her arms being held out to either side.
"I intend to destroy that thrice-damned book, not play into his sick f***ing game!"
"Well."
Sabyn smirked up at her, jostling as she struggled, his lower lip still bleeding.
"Now we have another plan. A backup, as you wanted."
With another furious jerk, she wrenched her wrists away from his hands, and he let her go, slowly climbing to his feet. He looked at his bloodied fingers as he dabbed his jaw again.
She scoffed at him indignantly, sloshing a few paces away from him through the water, but never took her glaring eyes off of his.
"So did I. And you may very well have ruined it."
She bristled. He remained calm.
"I am not playing into his hands, Carah. If the book cannot be destroyed and we cannot find it… we'll use that sword. And give it to him straight through his heart."
"By even bringin’ that blasted sword near, yes you bloody well are. If he wins? If he beats you? What then?"
"I don’t fight fair."
She snorted at him angrily.
"Neither do bloody demons, Sabyn. And they got a hells of a lot more practice at it than either of us do."
"You think I don't on some level have an idea of what I'm doing?"
He advanced on her a step, and her retort was cut short by a roughened hand held up, coupled with his steely, calm glare.
"I told you before, Carah. I don’t care what has to be done. I don’t care what the cost is. Your name will be stricken from that book, and your soul set free. Nothing else is relevant…"
He trailed off, closing his hand and letting it fall to his side. A pause, a sigh, and he concluded.
"Including me."
Carah’s resolve faltered, her fury giving way to despair as she bit back a hitched, shuddering breath. Still glowering at him even as tears began to sting her eyes, she retorted in a petulant voice.
"You aren’t. I don’t give a sh*t what you say. You made me realize what I was becoming, Sabyn. The path I was on. And I refuse to follow it any more. I won’t treat you like some gods-damned game piece."
Silence hung in the air between them for a beat, and Sabyn’s shoulders slowly dropped, his ironclad demeanor unraveling at the seams. He lowered his eyes, nodding.
"...I know, Carah."
His voice was softer. A different man now stood in his place, it seemed.
"I know the path you were on, because I have been on it. I… never want you to end up like… like me."
He scanned the damp, dark cave once more before looking back to her, deflating even further as he saw her cover her face with both hands.
"It isn’t too late for you, Carah. You are not already broken… I am."
Instantly her face snapped up toward him once again, twisting into a stunted mask of anger. Her hands went into fists again, and she tensed as if she wanted to hit him another time, and snapped at him in a thickening provincial accent.
"You’re so damn sure of that, are you? So certain you are that you’re willin’ to risk not only yourself but everyone else, including me."
"No. I’m not risking you either. You think I would take that chance after everything?"
His immediate response was terse, but he quickly softened again, taking another tentative step towards her, despite her taut stance and balled fists.
"I know you don't see it. I know you don't understand it..."
Carah fought to maintain her furious glare as she held her hands in fists, but her breath quickened, her hands starting to tremble. Sabyn took another step towards her, and she faltered, her eyes wildly darting several directions before her resolve failed her.
She collapsed onto her knees, raking her clawed fingers into her forehead and temples, huddling forward and quivering in desperate, erratic breaths just shy of sobs. Sabyn winced almost as sharply as when she’d punched him, and moved to her side, dropping onto one knee in the water. He reached for her to comfort her, but she sprang like a bear trap as soon as he made contact, throwing his hands off of her shoulders.
"How can I trust you!?"
She barked at him furiously, unreasoning despair in her hazel eyes.
"You spied on me. Your bloody house started all of this, Sabyn!"
He simply stared at her, no longer even pretending to be poised. Unarmored, broken, and visibly crumbling at the seams he looked right back into her wild glare. She twitched, gritting her teeth, and buried her face in her hands again in utter, contemptuous inability to look back at him.
He drew in a shuddering breath of his own, struggling to force body into his breaking voice as he reached for her again, gently cradling both sides of her head in his hands, cautiously at first, and more firmly when she didn’t throw him off again.
"Carah… I didn’t spy on you to hurt you. I kept you at arm’s length, watched from a distance so you wouldn’t be hurt."
She scoffed bitterly, her reply laced with sarcastic derision.
"Fine bloody job you did."
"I did what I could to protect you, Carah. I swear it. But it wasn’t enough. And that’s what I intend to set right."
She shivered, withdrawing further into herself. He choked on his words as he continued, stroking her auburn hair even as she pulled away, looking over what he could see of her with sorrowful, enraptured eyes.
"You signed your soul to stop the pain of a hundred thousand people. I sold mine to stop the pain of one. You have… no idea what lengths I’ll go to in order to see this set right. To see you truly live again… even if you hate me for it."
Dropping her hands from her face and turning away from him again, Carah remained kneeling in the water, looking up at the motes of light reflected from her amulet dancing across the cavern’s ceiling. Her expression was awash with conflicting telltale signs of lamentation, fury, confusion, and hopelessness, her eyes a thousand miles away.
Sabyn spoke gently to her again.
"This will work, Carah."
At that, Carah looked at him with a nonplussed stare, as if he’d just said a jumble of words that made no sense in their current order. After a beat, she rose to her feet, pulling her shoulders back, standing up to her full height. He rose with her to stand over her again, but their eyes remained locked together.
She tilted her head back, taking in a long, calming breath.
"I don’t want to hear reassurances. I want a plan. I’m tired of hoping, and praying, and believing."
Digging the heels of her hands into her eyes for a moment to clear the blur from her vision before dropping them to her sides, she fixes him with another stolid stare, even through her reddened, tired, tear stained eyes.
"I only agree to this if you don’t do it alone. You’re not a god, Sabyn. I’m not gambling my freedom on your bravado. Do you understand me? You are getting backup from other beings just as powerful. Beings I was working to gain help from before you royally screwed everything up with this stupid stunt."
Then it was Sabyn’s turn to straighten. He took a step forward, ripples of water rolling under the heavy footfalls, distorting the shadowed image and reflection of his face that peered back at him like an unwanted guest. He lifted his chin slowly, his eyes eventually adjusting to focus back on her, the thick, wet locks of hair that now stuck to the man's face draping one side of his forehead. He wiped a sweaty hand from top to bottom of it, seemingly trying to collect his thoughts. With a pause, he closed his eyes briefly, an obvious effort to decompress some.
"First of all, I'm not staking your freedom on bravado. I'm not an idiot."
Idle drops of water dripped from his left hand as he began, pointing at her, his reflection in the water now completely distorted. He continued in a confident voice.
"This was the only call to make at this moment. I've already told you the basics. We use this as a means to help facilitate the destruction of the book and kill the balor with the weapon he covets so badly."
Half incensed, half driven to begging by his response, Carah bent towards him at the waist, cupping her upturned hands before her as she shouted back at him, her expression twisting.
"It’s Orcus that wants the blade, gods damn it!"
She shuddered again, swallowing and turning away to start pacing, forking her fingers through her hair and pulling at it as her reply shifted into a rant.
"Orcus! Not Garganix! And giving it to him will just screw everything, making my freedom completely pointless, Sabyn! I already screwed up by unleashing that… that thing into the Material Plane, foolishly thinking I was doing something to help here. Even if we do manage to kill Garganix with that sword, and overlooking that I don’t believe for a blasted second that he’s telling me the truth about that being my purpose–"
She casted a scornful side-eye at him as she paced and ranted, waggling her index finger in his direction as she adds her afterthought in a dropped, derisive tone.
"It won’t fulfill a thing! And what if they see it coming? If they overpower us? What then?"
Sabyn watched her slosh back and forth through the water stoically, his jaw set, icy blue irises expanding and contracting as he listened to her, letting her get through her tirade as he observed her frantic body language. When she finished, he waited for a moment to see if she would cease her pacing in kind, but she didn’t.
He took a deep breath and exhaled through his nose, nostrils flaring, and shook his head faintly while turning his gaze towards the lichen sticking to the cave’s walls, and lifted a hand to show her his palm in a returned semi-plea of his own, his voice composed, but rigid.
"I may not have all the answers. Might not do things the way other people would, but one thing I won't do is sit on my damn hands and do nothing. I expected you of all people to understand."
With a huff, he focused back on her, lips forming into a straight line, quiet exasperation betraying some of his composed bearing.
"What would you have me do, Carah? If you think I take the word of a demon to be ironclad you don't know me very well. I know he's lying. They all lie. That doesn't change anything."
He concealed the waver in his voice with a heavy breath, his chest rising and falling in a steady beat.
"All the more reason to do what I said. You wanted alternative options. If killing him somehow doesn't strike your name from that book, Orcus will have no choice but to deal with me directly, and at that point I will no longer be marked. And that's assuming none of the other options fare any better."
Wheeling on him, hazel eyes and nostrils flaring at him, she ceased her pacing, stomping through the sloshing water in a straight line for him, and was on him in fewer strides than one might have expected from one with her relatively modest height. She reached forward, snatching his leathers in her fists, firmly, and shook him a little as she stared desperately up into his blues.
"Sabyn, don’t do this. I’m begging you. This isn’t worth it! If you know they lie, then you HAVE to know you’ve just broken your own leg here! This doesn’t help! We were going to try to get the sword anyway to draw him out! I wasn’t lying when I said I’m working on it!"
Her voice rose in pitch and volume as she tightened her grip, an unreasoning near panic in her eyes.
"I want to destroy that book, not play into his hands! If it’s even remotely possible, I want to destroy him! And we can’t do that, Sabyn! Not alone and unaided, we’re mortal!"
"And YOU—!"
She stopped, either out of breath, out of words, or out of energy for her tirade. While she didn’t release her grip on his leathers, she hung her head in defeat, shuddering again.
Sabyn's eyes imperceptibly shifted in an almost desperate search to find some unspoken truth on Carah's face. Otherwise, he didn’t respond, he stood motionless, hands to his sides allowing her to speak and shake him to her heart’s content until she had finished with her outburst.
Slowly, and deliberately, he lifted his right hand and placed it palm down on one of the forearms clutching his leathers, his brow knitted tightly.
"Me, what?"
His tone was clear, his face still somewhat scrunched in what was either confusion or hesitance. Tipping his chin toward his chest he looked toward the top of her bowed head in an effort to will her into lifting her eyes to him again.
Carah took a moment to gather herself, to steady her breathing, and to soothe her raging blood. Slowly, steadily, she lifted her head to stare directly back up into his eyes, searching, pleading, the shimmering light in them that he had so fervently pointed out to her dying, but far from dead.
She spoke to him in a quiet voice, the frenzy and panic behind her words deflated and spent.
"I don’t care what you say, Sabyn. About you being broken. I don’t care. You made me believe I’m not."
She emphasized her followed repetition with a weary shake on the leathers in her fist as her gaze drilled into him with such quiet intensity it was almost startling.
"You made me believe. You can’t take that away from me now. Because if there’s hope for me, there’s hope for anyone, Sabyn. If you condemn yourself in my place, I will have to go to my grave with that on my conscience. Knowing that there was a chance for both of us... and knowing that I didn’t take it."
Sabyn's eyes did not deviate from Carah's hazel orbs, but it was plain to see the effort it took from him to not look away. Instead, the corners of his mouth pulled upward in silent acknowledgement. He squeezed her wrist with a gentle pulse of his right hand.
"Carah.. This is my chance."
His quiet words coincided with a lowering of his head. He kept eye contact with her, the upturned corners of his mouth offering a silent plea of understanding.
"If you have anything on your conscience... it should be that I'm not condemning myself... I'm redeeming myself. And were it not for you, that wouldn't be possible."
He furrowed his brow slightly after a moment, his lips still maintaining his smile and stance.
"Having said that... I give you my word. If I can alleviate the burden on you. I will."
She stared back into his eyes.
Silent and unmoving, fists still gripping his leathers, her hazel orbs twitched back and forth between his blue ones as she searched them for a heartbeat or an eternity; it was difficult to tell which it was.
At last, she slowly relaxed her grip on his leathers, letting her hands fall limply to her sides, but her eyes didn’t fall with them. They remained as they were, piercing back up into his blues, her face humorless and solemn.
"...You don’t get to make that choice for me."
Another moment of tense silence passed, her gaze held until, finally, her shoulders dropped a touch with a heavy, drawn out, resigned sigh as she looked away. A curtain of hair fell free, partially obscuring her face from him.
He watched her, shaking her head quietly a few times before, his eyes eventually diverting for a moment to the drowned stone beneath their feet.
"I... don't want to make any choices for you."
Another moment passed before he stepped forward, circling her, craning his head towards his shoulder to try to steal a look at her hidden face. As she caught him in her peripheral vision, she withdrew further, turning her head a fraction of an inch further away to keep her eyes from his sight, closing them.
"I’m here to help you, Carah. Whether that’s submitting to a demon lord, killing one, or anything in between…"
Once more he stepped and leaned, trying to see her face. And once more she turned further away. He concluded in a hushed tone:
"...I’ll do anything."
Carah hugged her arms across her abdomen, refusing to look back at him, her own voice small, eyes closed in the dim light of her amulet.
"Then tell me what you’ve done. Tell me what stains you so badly that this is the only way to wash it away."
Sabyn's eyes shifted again, his blue Iris' expanded nearly to the size of his fingertip. Sighing, he held both hands out to his sides.
"Carah. I've never done a selfless thing in all my life. Everything… everything I've ever done has been for personal gain. Manipulation, murder, theft... Hell, you were warned not to even talk to me."
He sighed again, heavily, taking a half turn and splashing water up the side of his leg as he looked away to some far corner of the cave ceiling the light of Carah’s amulet did not reach.
As he did so, she turned her head to look at him, watching him through her hair for a moment. As he continued, she slowly, purposefully lifted her hand from where it was crossed over her belly, brushing the concealing curtain of hair aside.
"It's not a coincidence that people view me as a living embodiment of the plague, Carah. Never had a reason to give a s**t about anyone other than myself."
He turned to face her again, lifting both hands in the air, palms up. And while his posture and expression were weary, there was absolute conviction in his voice.
"Until… you. Which is why I'd rather die than see you become even a shade of what I am."
She was looking at him fully, then. Searching. Waiting.
Pondering.
Her lips parted to speak, but no words came. With a few attempts, she abandoned the effort, and closed her mouth again, looking away once more with a heavy sigh.
"Is what Hanner said true? Is Morgan really gone? Or does she still have some part in this?"
Looking back to him again, slowly, she arrested his eyes with her own in a manner that he found impossible to resist.
"Tell me the truth."
Sabyn tilted his head at the seemingly out of nowhere question, puzzled. Even so, he gave a direct answer, without hesitation.
"Morgan is gone. If she weren't... she would have been the first person I would have gone to, to get your name out of that f***ing book."
"And Amelia?"
She turned her shoulders to face him squarely, putting her hands on her hips, staring intently across the way at him.
He shook his head.
"She's in Waterdeep. She has nothing to do with this."
"She has everything to do with this."
Her retort was sharp. An index finger drove through the air in his direction like a dagger, her eyes flashing momentarily as her lips curled back.
"If it weren’t for Amelia, Morgan would never have noticed me and I’d never have gotten tangled up in this bloody mess in the first place."
With a quiet sigh and an upheaval of his chest, he lowered his eyes once again toward her feet.
"This is about you Carah. Not my house. I'm acting on my own volition."
She lowered her hand, staring flatly at him.
"Are you loyal to Amelia, or aren’t you?"
His eyes rose to her again, and he stared at her in silence for a long, hushed moment. She could easily see the roiling tempest he now found himself in through the windows of his eyes, but her glare only intensified. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity he answered, his chest heaving with anxious breaths as he choked on his quiet words.
"I'm loyal to you."
She blinked. The subtle forward lean to her posture straightened somewhat, the tension in her expression faltering for the ghost of an instant before setting again.
"You didn’t answer my question."
"Yes… I did."
.
"Oh come on, Sabyn–"
She snorted, throwing her hands up in a show of exasperation as she began pacing a few steps back and forth each way, back and forth, back and forth, but keeping her eyes on him. A mocking sneer accompanied her continuation.
"Loyalty given, loyalty received. That’s y’all’s whole mantra, isn’t it? I asked you if you were loyal to that black hearted bitch that started all of this when she decided I owed her for Grath’s life."
Sabyn’s breath began heaving again, his jaw tightening as he watched her pace like a caged animal, bore her barbs, and weathered her sneer. His pupils dilated again, his fists clenching at his sides.
She stopped pacing, and advanced on him a step, pointing aggressively at him once more.
"Answer me."
He snapped, bellowing back at her in a sudden roar. Tendons in his neck bulged as he spewed his reply, waving his fists over his head.
"Yes, Carah! It’s our creed! I am loyal to Ameila until the point at which it would harm you! In which case I would without hesitation betray my house and sentence myself to death!"
Carah flinched slightly at the outburst, but she held her ground even as he closed the distance on her, shouting down at her from no more than two feet away. Her pointing hand came down slowly, but she held a resolute, cool stare back up into his wild, frantic eyes."
"The reason I even became Inquisitor to House Blackrose is because I betrayed Morgan. I don't have, nor did I ever have, any allegiance to her or her twisted games. And had I known that she was responsible for what happened back then, I would have killed her myself… or died trying. So yes, Carah. I am loyal to Amelia… but I will betray her in your name if it comes to that. Is that what you want to hear!?"
As his temporary lapse in composure subsided after a few more heavy, furious breaths, he reached his right hand to his mouth to cover the bottom half of his face. Turning away, he screwed his eyes closed, loosing one more long breath, shaking his head.
With a toss of his free hand aside, he concluded, turning his face down to the ground.
"See? Living plague."
Her jaw clenched as she stared coolly at him. Distantly.
With a long, steady breath, her expression softened somewhat, but not fully. While understanding crept into her eyes, the solid set to the muscles in her face remained—mostly—as it was.
"Yes."
Her voice, however, despite the look on her face, was gentle. Almost sorrowful in its somber disappointment, but not without empathy. She held her quiet eyes on him, even as it seemed to be his turn to avoid looking at her.
"Yes. It’s what I wanted to hear."
Sabyn stood there quietly with the bottom half of his face still gripped between his thumb and index finger. After a long silence he opened his eyes only to be confronted by the unwavering stare of his own reflection in the water below. Refusing to meet its gaze he took a few heavy steps forward, instinctively balling up his fists in the process.
He cleared his throat, brushing the strands of wet hair stuck to his forehead back in a sweeping motion, touching the dried blood on his lip before turning around.
As his blue eyes hesitantly found hers he lowered them, slightly at first and then once again to her boots. He was clearly ashamed, and while he meant every word, the outburst came as much as a surprise to him as it did her.
"Well. Now you know."
She looked back at him still, but the look in her eyes was no longer one of pleading, unreasoning desperation. It was forlorn. Longing for the unattainable.
A look of remorseful pity given to a dead man.
Sabyn stood there gradually working up the courage to meet her eyes before offering her a sympathetic and shallow smile.
She looked away, and the voice that followed was thin and resigned, a stark contrast to the one that had preceded it.
"...I… I can’t return… those feelings, Sabyn."
The words visibly pained her to utter, but the necessity of them was not diminished, even if her posture was. She closed her own eyes, shutting out the cave around her, and for another moment the only sounds around them was the rippling water at their ankles.
As she turned away his head began to follow her but stopped short. He stood there otherwise motionless, watching her in silent adoration. He parted his lips but no words followed; he was left breathless.
"...but ...I won’t forget this. If it works... I won’t forget it."
She opened her eyes, looking across at him again, openly. Maskless… her eyes permeated with sadness.
"Ever."
In that moment Sabyn's world collided with itself. He understood that look... and the torture behind it. To some extent, it was the one he hid behind his cowl. The same one he drowned in whiskey every day. The feeling of an ache you can never mend or the despair of wanting something so completely you'd sell your own soul to have it... only to be faced with the reality that it was never yours to have.
After a long, uninterrupted silence Sabyn offered her another smile even though she couldn't see it. Quietly he reached for his metallic mask, slipping it over his head, concealing his face as he drew up his hood.

She turned her face away from his mask, closing her eyes. As though on an unfelt puff of a breeze, a few strands of her hair fell loose to partially obscure the side of her face, the right side, the unscarred cheek. The one facing him.
She remained motionless for several seconds before finally lifting her face slightly towards the ceiling. She reached up to brush another errant tear’s trail off of her cheek, and blew out a heavy breath, her shoulders slumping as if that lungful of air were the only thing propping her up.
"I have to go."
Her voice was little more than a near-silent rasp, choked and hollow, as she looked towards the one and only entrance to the watery cave.
Sabyn tilted his chin toward his chest a single time, his blue eyes drifting to trace the features of her face, through the eyeholes of his mask, his expression once again hidden from her.. With a step forward he reached for the cuff of his right arm in an absent-minded attempt to straighten it.
"Just remember something."
He stopped his natural progression forward, causing the end of his cloak to swing gently into the water at his feet.
She had taken a few steps towards the exit, but his words stopped her. She didn’t, or perhaps couldn’t, bring herself to turn back to face him, however, the only other sign she gave him that she was listening was the slight turn to her head, partially over her shoulder.
"You are not alone in this."
She remained still and quiet for a moment, then, with a distant nod, she replied:
"...I know."
With that, the young woman looked back to the corridor back to the surface, and accompanied by the echoing sloshes of her boots through the water, she made her way out.
Sabyn stood there a moment before bending at both knees, his fervent glare locked on the masked, cloaked, and shadow-shrouded man staring back up at him from the water. With a lamented sigh he gives his head a half-shake as he muttered.
"Don't f**k this up, Sabyn."
Taking a lengthy look around the cave he moved toward the exit, water rippling in his wake, scattering his reflection into shattered pieces once again.

A boy of anguish, now he's a man of stone
Traded in his misery for the lonely life of the road
The years were cruel to him, no he won't let them go
Lays awake tryina find the man inside to pack his bags and escape this world
I've never been so torn up in all of my life
I should have seen this coming
I've never felt so hopeless than I do tonight
I don't want to do this anymore
I'm moving on
He wanted to change the world, to make it all worthwhile
So he put his pen to paper and poured out everything inside
His red eyes tearing up at the man that he'd became
Slowly but surely on the fast track to falling into his grave
I've never been so torn up in all of my life
I should have seen this coming
I've never felt so hopeless than I do tonight
I don't want to do this anymore
I'm moving on
I can't believe I've come so far in such short time
And I'm still fighting on my own
If I stop to catch my breath I might never breathe again
So just know this
I've never been so torn up in all of my life
I can't believe I let myself break down
I've never been so torn up in all of my life
I should have seen this coming
I've never felt so hopeless than I do tonight
I don't want to do this anymore
I've never been so torn up in all of my life
I should have seen this coming
I've never felt so hopeless than I do tonight
Now i don't want to do this anymore
I'm moving on
A boy of anguish, now he's a man of stone
Traded in his misery for the lonely life of the road