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Appearance:
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Alex is a tall and athletic man, his body immediately hints at the fact that he has trained to fight his whole life. His skin shows a number of scars that he has been accumulating in his past battles, some more evident than others, the most evident being one cutting his left eyebrow and cheek. He puts a decent effort in trying to keep a well groomed appearance though without exaggerating. His armor and weapons are definitely the things he puts most effort maintaining, every piece of steel looks immaculate, it definitely shows his respect for his own gear.
((Credits to Ashenie for the awesome picture)) Sister Ashenie paints Triadic symbols and prayers on Alexander's upper body.
Paintings (A description from Ashenie):
Chest
Around his heart, first, the armored gauntlet of Torm is depicted with great precision, though without much artistic features. The symbol is precise, and carefully drawn, the colors marrying his skin in shades of light and darkness. A circle along his left pectoral muscle is adorned with three strange runes, likely of celestial nature, some likely used in Tormtar liturgies of Purity, and others symbolizing courage and temperance. The holy patterns are circled with a word : "Ehspnrh". The holy, circling depiction looks almost as a sun composed by runes and words, revolving around the symbol of Torm.
Hand
The symbol of a tear adorn his hand, likely to symbolize Ilmater. Patterns of strips follow his veins, coloring them in silvery blue. Celestial runes of might, endurance and strength are drawn along the circles around his veins. The The word "Ihshmhidrrh" is written, as if it was following his veins up along his arm.
Head
Runes are painted on his head, hidden by his hair, so that they are not easily spotted. Only the symbol of Justice, a kind of sword, would be visible, yet intertwined in a myriad of patterns that would not leave the impression of a depiction at first. Circled, very small runes of Judgment, Mercy and Wrath add to the depiction of a strange balance. The word of "Rthidah" is written, on his hairline, along his forehead.
Scriptures
Runes of Faith are painted around his throat, where his voice is missing, with a reddish color. Holy scriptures about salvation, purity and justice, likely from the Tormtar dogma, adorn his kind. The writings extends towards his heart, intertwining with the silvery blue runes. Around the impressive, stitched scar, the runes of prowess, of might, of wrath, of retribution, of endurance, of martyrdom, and of The Holy are drawn. The myriad of runes seem to color the swollen flesh, before new words are added. The whole dogma of Torm seems inscribed on his body, along with litanies.
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Alex is a fairly cold individual in terms of emotional reactions, he is extremely protective with those he cares about. His mind tends to be pragmatic and stays on facts more than assumptions and he has a fairly open view of good and evil, he tends to be wary with those claiming to know what is right and what is wrong, especially when they are ready to be violent about it. Over the time he has been moving closer to the Triad but he kept his approach on things, making him less of a zealot than others about religious matters.
Religious beliefs:
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Alexander wasn't a particularly religious individual until recently. His relationship with the Gods has changed with time and he now shows his faith more openly though he is still not too confident in praying, especially in front of others. His path brought him to reconsider the House of the Triad, which changed his overall approach to religion as a whole.
Torm: 
Tyr: 
Ilmater: 
Helm: 
Red Knight:
Torm: Alex always respected the deities of the Triad though he never felt worthy to pray to them because of his past as a mercenary, someone that killed for gold. After recent developments Torm has become part of his life, the missing link between Helm and the Red Knight, a just deity. Duty is his meaning to live and fight, Torm answers perfectly answers to his beliefs and values.
Tyr: In his path to become a Knight, Alexander became closer to the deities of the Triad, Tyr being one of them. The Maimed God represents the kind of society he believes in and he wants to defend, just and lawful. His knowledge about the ways of the Tyrrans is still limited.
Ilmater: Profound respect is what moves Alexander, when thinking of Ilmater and the Ilmatari. Most of what he knows about them comes from Sister Ashenie, which he deeply respect and admires. To him, the Ilmatari are that side of the medal that Knights and do gooders often forget when dealing with the manifestations of evil, endurance and compassion. Those who are not afraid to roll into the mud to shelter and mend.
Helm: He prays to Helm mostly because he is the patron of all those who stand to defend others. The first deity he was taught to praise since he was young, and perhaps the first step that later in his life brought him toward the Triad. Helm represents that part of him that can't help but protect those around him.
Red Knight: This is a deity that Alex learned to praise later in his life, during his time protecting Lady Reina Argath, in the process of learning and studying all aspects of military strategy, including theoretical magic. He sees the Red Knight as the way to enact his duty of protector. He believes that a good plan saves lives and resources, in every situation, therefore renouncing carefulness and logic in favor of recklessness and emotions is not only wrong, it is one of the worst mistakes one could make.
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Here follows every piece of Torm's Dogma and Alexander's considerations about each one.
Alex strongly believes on this part of the Dogma, he truly seeks salvation in servitude. A way to make amends for the sins and atrocities committed in his life as a mercenary.
=Every failure of duty diminishes Torm and every success adds to his luster=
This part resonates with that side of Alexander that can never be truly satisfied about his own achivements, there is always something that could have been done better.
=Strive to maintain law and order=
Law and order are essentials in Alexander's view. Society, with his flaws included, is preferable to a state of chaos that would make people more similar to beasts. Or so he believes.
=Obey your masters with alert judgement and anticipation=
Servitude has always been part of Alexander's life, though he never followed anyone blindly and he was always ready to criticize any choices he would not understand or thought wrong.
=Stand ever alert against corruption=
Corruption is the depravation of law and order, it must be stopped, avoided and contained to the best of one's abilities.
=Strike quickly and forcefully against rot in hearts of mortals=
Despite his story and skills, Alexander does not like violence and does not like starting it unless it is to protect and defend. This part of the Dogma has a symbolic meaning for him, a Knight should strive to cleanse amorality and darkness from anyone' soul and they should be given the chance and support to do that themselves before violence falls into the picture.
=Bring painful, quick death to traitors=
This is perhaps the most critical part of the Dogma, for the reasons mentioned above. Alex could not bring painful death to anyone but he would kill those taking advantage of duty and loyalty with betrayal, depending on the weight of the betrayal itself.
=Question unjust laws by suggesting improvement or alternatives, not additional laws=
This part of the Dogma is very simple to accept for him, he is always ready to speak his opinion about anything he does not find right or just, offering something different. He also shares Torm's view about not adding anything that might make things even more complicated, as complicated laws are always a nest for those who want to exploit the rules to harm others.
=Your fourfold duties are to faith, family, masters, and all good beings of Faerûn=
This is his mission, to make amends for the mistakes of his past life. This is those he serves.
Notable Items:
Oath to Raziel
By far the most treasured piece of equipment among Alexander's belongings, even more than his father' sword.
A celestial silver blade engulfed in red and blue flames, carefully kept on the Knight's back.
The Tormtar generally prefers to keep this sword for particularly dangerous enemies.
Celegorn
Celegorn was Alex's weapon of choice, a memento that has much emotional value for him.
A magic greatsword forged by an elven smith, its name means Impetuous.
It is a rather thin and light blade for its size.
Ring of the Golden Gauntlet
A fine golden ring with a small ruby gem in the middle.
An inscription is visible on the ring.
"Fight for the Gauntlet. Die for the Gauntlet."
Allan's Tome of Strategy
An old tome written by a follower of the Red Knight named Allan.
This book is a long essay about warfare and strategy.
A fine piece of academic literature.
Dried Violet
He keeps this memento in a silver locket.
He wears it under the armor.
A small dried violet, a gift.
Simple Diary
Apparently just a simply journal.
Alex would avoid any in depth discussion about it.
This item is dear to Alex in some way, and he would show great care of it.
Dogma (Silver Longsword)
A beautifully crafted Silver Longsword.
Alex named it Dogma, as this is the sword that he started to use about the same time he became a Knight.
This is a powerful enchanted sword that he uses in pair with Merorry's Tower Shield.
Merorry's Tower Shield
A Tower Shield that belonged to Martyr Melissar.
Alex treats this Shield as a Relic, his respect for this item is beyond belief.
It is also an item that represents the bond of friendship with Lucia of Candlekeep.
Gleaming Amber Necklace
A gift from Edelgarde Spades.
A reminder that the light of hope can never fade.
As the light of this necklace, as faint as it might be, it will keep gleaming.
Locking Gauntlet
A finely crafted locking gauntlet.
Fragments of the Tormtar Dogma are inscribed upon it.
This gauntlet is made to secure a weapon to the wielder's hand.
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Oath to Raziel
By far the most treasured piece of equipment among Alexander's belongings, even more than his father' sword.
A celestial silver blade engulfed in red and blue flames, carefully kept on the Knight's back.
The Tormtar generally prefers to keep this sword for particularly dangerous enemies.
Celegorn
Celegorn was Alex's weapon of choice, a memento that has much emotional value for him.
A magic greatsword forged by an elven smith, its name means Impetuous.
It is a rather thin and light blade for its size.
Ring of the Golden Gauntlet
A fine golden ring with a small ruby gem in the middle.
An inscription is visible on the ring.
"Fight for the Gauntlet. Die for the Gauntlet."
Allan's Tome of Strategy
An old tome written by a follower of the Red Knight named Allan.
This book is a long essay about warfare and strategy.
A fine piece of academic literature.
Dried Violet
He keeps this memento in a silver locket.
He wears it under the armor.
A small dried violet, a gift.
Simple Diary
Apparently just a simply journal.
Alex would avoid any in depth discussion about it.
This item is dear to Alex in some way, and he would show great care of it.
Dogma (Silver Longsword)
A beautifully crafted Silver Longsword.
Alex named it Dogma, as this is the sword that he started to use about the same time he became a Knight.
This is a powerful enchanted sword that he uses in pair with Merorry's Tower Shield.
Merorry's Tower Shield
A Tower Shield that belonged to Martyr Melissar.
Alex treats this Shield as a Relic, his respect for this item is beyond belief.
It is also an item that represents the bond of friendship with Lucia of Candlekeep.
Gleaming Amber Necklace
A gift from Edelgarde Spades.
A reminder that the light of hope can never fade.
As the light of this necklace, as faint as it might be, it will keep gleaming.
Locking Gauntlet
A finely crafted locking gauntlet.
Fragments of the Tormtar Dogma are inscribed upon it.
This gauntlet is made to secure a weapon to the wielder's hand.
Current Classes (Path of the Triadic Knight):
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Fully embracing his new life as a servant of the Triad, Alexander has slowly abandoned some fighting techniques of the past to follow the manuscripts of Old Impiltur. Learning techniques that are proper of Triadic Knights, accompanying his sword and shield with holy prayers and divine abilities, he is now closer than ever into being one with the Triad.
Previous Classes (Path of the Knight):
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Alexander is a combat expert, he was focused on using offensive stances and brute force in the past though he decided to embrace a more defensive approach in his path to become a Knight. He has trained his mind and body to resist anything his enemies might throw at him to the best of his abilities, being a Man at Arms allows him to protect others even more efficiently.
This is the truly new part of Alexander's life, his service and faith to the Loyal Fury and the Triad brought him closer to the Gods. While his divine abilities are limited and mostly focused on enhancing his fighting prowess it is clear that the former mercenary has now reached a bond with the Divine, improving his physical and mental resilience in ways that are not possible without Divine Favor.
Previous Classes (Pre Path of the Knight):
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Alex is a fighter first and foremost, a warrior trained to use a multitude of weapons and armors. Training in combat does not stop to the betterment of his own skills, he is also knowledgeable in tactical warfare including the use of magic in contexts such as sieges and large scale battles. Being a fighter is the core of Alex's skill and knowledge.
Alex has been a bodyguard for many years, this is the main application of his fighting skills and knowledge. Unlike some other bodyguards he relies more on his reflexes and raw strenght to defend others, rather than endurance. He believes that the true meaning of his training is to be put to use this way, to defend someone worth protecting.
Alex is not aware of being a weapon master, he specialized in the use of two handed swords though he has a special link with his weapon of choice Celegorn. The weapon is a memento of someone who he deeply respected and loved, he respected that someone so much to the point that he changed his fighting style to accomodate the use of that particular blade. The bond he shares with this weapon allows him to reach the expertise of a true weapon master.
Traits:
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-Brave- Alex would take a killing blow for someone else, without hesitation. This is selfless thinking dictated by a sense of duty more than emotion and ethics.
-Cold- Despite being often sarcastic Alex is very cold in his emotional reactions, he barely laughs or even smile. He is not unemotional but he takes more effort for him to show his emotions.
-Never satisfied- Alex is never satisfied about his own abilities, knowledge and skills. He wouldn't take a compliment the proper way because he always sees himself lacking in some way.
-Reliable- Alex is definitely a reliable individual, when he says he will do something, he does it. For him it is a matter of respect, he shows his respect for others by honouring his word.
-Introvert- Sometimes he might seem talkative but in fact Alex keeps most of his thinking and emotions for himself, letting others speak on his behalf while he observes.
-Cold- Despite being often sarcastic Alex is very cold in his emotional reactions, he barely laughs or even smile. He is not unemotional but he takes more effort for him to show his emotions.
-Never satisfied- Alex is never satisfied about his own abilities, knowledge and skills. He wouldn't take a compliment the proper way because he always sees himself lacking in some way.
-Reliable- Alex is definitely a reliable individual, when he says he will do something, he does it. For him it is a matter of respect, he shows his respect for others by honouring his word.
-Introvert- Sometimes he might seem talkative but in fact Alex keeps most of his thinking and emotions for himself, letting others speak on his behalf while he observes.
Thoughts on other characters (I hope the players like the pictures I picked!):
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Fenwick is perhaps the one that spent the most of the time with Alex since he moved to Baldur's Gate. Apart from the obvious admiration in relation to his experience and years of service Alex decided to stand near him mostly because of how Fenwick sees the importance of keeping open dialogue with anyone. Alex sees the old paladin as a friend and mentor in this new chapter of his life and hopes to learn from the diplomat in order to improve his skills.
Kelian is another important part of Alex's life in the southern coast, the cleric helped him build relationships and improve his skills in his early days and he is now a friend. Alex has often conflicting thoughts about him, he respects his will to do anything he can to help others but his zeal is sometimes too bright for Alex's taste. He wishes that he could see the world more like Fenwick sees it, sometimes, but he is confident that he will learn with time. The two sort of broke their amicable relationship before Kelian decided to leave the Sword Coast, though he will always remember him fondly.
Brianna is a curious part of Alex's new life, a woman that walks a troubled path that he doesn't fully comprehend. He promised that he would help and protected her when necessary, and this tested Alex's habit to stand next to those he wishes to protect because she is an indipendent spirit. Brianna teached him that he cannot protect everyone by simply being someone' shadow, sometimes he needs to let his friends free and trust them.
Ashenie is perhaps the most conflictual relationship he experienced since he moved to the Southern Coast, on an ethical and spiritual level. Alex was raised to protect, he wants to protect the priestess and help her but he cannot do anything for the suffering she inflicts upon herself as part of her faith. She spoke with her at lenght on several occasions and he realized that she cannot bear the suffering of others if there is no suffering to bear, so he will try to avoid any pain from happening in the first place, so she doesn't have to intervene. The priestess also made him rethink about his place in this world, in relation to the Gods he prays to. Their relationship evolved into a deep bond of friendship and mutual respect, there is nothing that he wouldn't do for her, and he sees her like family at this point.
The hard working Scribe, the two have become good friends over time and he deeply respects Edelgarde's way to honour her Duties and Vows. They helped each other on several occasions and he often seeks her to ask for knowledge and advice on matters that are beyond his reach. Knowledge is essential for a strategic mind, and Edelgarde always provides when he needs it.
Similarly to Edelgarde, Lucia is another member of the Avowed that proved her value to Alex on several occasions. Helpful and lighthearted, the young woman is always pleasant to chat with when Alex needs to relax, she also provides useful advice when asked. Alex and Lucia have exchanged their memories and secrets of their past, strenghtening their friendship and appreciation for each other.
Sirion is mostly an enigma for Alex, the two never talked properly but Alex thinks that there is much more in the wizard than what meets the eye. He learned to trust him through his mentor Fenwick and he believes that he can now be considered an ally. Alexander is appreciative of Sirion's work despite the difference in approach the two have.
Aravae interacted with Alex a few times, though almost every interaction was quite intense. Alex sees her like an impressive painting stained right in the middle. She has qualities that he recognizes and admires in people, like intelligence and self esteem, though she is prone to anger. Being irascibile is one of the worst flaws one can have in Alex's eyes, he tried to offer her advice and hopes to see her work on this side of herself. It now seems that she has managed to gain better control over herself with the help of the Mystran Church, that makes Alexander confident that she is on a path to fully embrace her potential.
Alex deeply respects and supports Sean even if the two have radically different ways of thinking and approach to the Knigthly life. Ultimately he thinks that's the reason why they should work together, in a way they perfectly balance each other. Alexander hopes to the strenghten the bond with him, as there is much they could achieve by working together.
Alex and Nathan did not interact much between each other at the start, but the few interactions they had were enough to make Nathan jump quite high into the list of people that he respects. Alex understood that he shares many opinions and traits with Nathan than what he originally expected, and he admires him for his work as Ilmatari Guardian.
Despite their differences in attitude and way of thinking Alex respects Jalib for his prowess, his initiative, and expertise in war and battles. Alex is sometime concerned by how he reacts to certain situations but he still believes that he is a valuable ally. Alex undersands that he can't hope for everyone around him to be exactly like him and he accepts Jalib's different way of thinking as a sort of reality check to his own views.
The interactions with Kamine have been sporadic, though recently Alex had the occasion to witness not only her martial prowess but mostly her determination and courage. She did not hesitate in covering Alex from a flurry of potentially fatal blows putting her own life on the line. After that occasion Alex has started to see her under a differently light, not just a dutiful guardian but also an intrepid and selfless individual.
Alexander's relationship with Alyssia is one of friendship, though initially he was extremely uncomfortable around her. Alex always had difficulties in approaching Sunites for a number of reasons, though through Alyssia he know feels a bit more confident around them. In his mind she is definitely an ally and a friend, it is likely that the two will cooperate more in the future.
Amelia was sent to Alexander by his mentor Fenwick, being a member of the Mystran Church. Alex observes her and gives her advice when she needs it, in a way he sees her like his own responsibility. He is really appreciative of her skills though he also believes that she could improve on her eagerness to act, which might put her in danger. When Amelia chose to depart from Baldur's Gate and return to Cormyr he was deeply affected, as the woman was one of the individuals around him he appreciated the most, he hopes to see her again one day.
Alexander sees Isabella as a great source of advice, he knows she is a good talk when he needs clear, straight and sincere advice and opinions. He doesn't care much about what some people say about her, and the conflicting relationship that she has with Baldur's Gate as she is entitled to have her own opinions, in fact that's perhaps her best trait in his mind. The ability of speaking her mind without filters.
Michael Dunn is a new acquaintance, despite him being working in the area for a long while they only met and interacted recently. The man has been kind and suppotive with him and Alexander cannot stop himself from feeling a sense of connection due to his past life as a mercenary. Recent interactions brought them on opposite sides for a short time.
Alexander has known Oth for a while now, though they had little chances to build a proper rapport. They both have done something in their past that they deeply regret, affecting their own self esteem and confidence, while Alex found a way to fight this back perhaps Oth is still in need of support. The Knight hopes to lead the elf out of the swamp and help him move on.
Alexander has conflicting thoughts towards Rhaeg, part of him appreciates his drive in defending the oppressed and his empathy towards them... the second part feels sadness, melancholy. The Knight sees him as manifestation of the system's mistakes, a living proof of his failure and the failure of all defenders of order and justice. Under this view the half orc serves as an inspiration not to forget that law and justice are not the same thing and a true Knight must always keep that in mind.
A profound sense of sadness and melancholy fills Alexander when thinking about Selengil, a waste, a product of mistakes and poor choices of those who call themselves good. The major aspect of this, is that Alexander feels they would have been good friends if Selengil's path did not take this route. The two think alike in many ways and they both share the love for truth, as indistructible and undeniable. While he will not hesitate to stop him if the situation demands it, he still feels sadness thinking about the person he was... and could have been.
Similarly to Selengil, Alexander sees Tarina as another product of pride and selfrighteousness, though unlike Selengil the result on her has a different shape. To Alexander, she is drowning in a torrent of mistakes that becomes faster and faster on every questionable decision she makes. On each side of this torrent she sees people judging her, threatening her... so she remains in the stream, only one thing is offering a hand to save her from the waterfall, the Zhentarim and perhaps other dark powers. While he sees Selengil as a missed friend, Tarina in his head embodies a living reminder of what could happen to anyone making bad decisions while driven by fear. A reminder that people like this should be offered care and support as fast as possible, before it is too late. Is it too late for her?
People of the past:
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Young Alexander:
Norman Holgart (Deceased):Alex was very different in his early career as mercenary and before meeting Lady Argath. A boy that was introduced to war and violence too soon, he shut his emotions and locked them away in order to keep his sanity. While others trained and became better for glory, coins and reputation, he kept training to protect his comrades and his father from harm. He slowly became indifferent toward death and violence throughout the years.
Reina Argath (Deceased):Alex's father, a skilled fighter, leader and strategist. Norman walked the path of war for all of his life, a cold and pragmatic man overall but that still managed to show affection for his own son. Despite agreeing in allowing his own son in the Company he was terrified to lose him at every battle, this sentiment unconsciously lead him to assign Alex to Lady Argath's contract, an overall safe job compared to fighting in a battlefield.
Corinne:Lady Reina Argath, heir of House Argath in Yartar. Reina has been a crucial part of Alex's life, he acted as her bodyguard for ten years before she passed away. He has seen her grow up from when she was only ten years old, at first she was just a job like any other but with time she became like a little sister to him. Alex admired Reina's ability to follow her own path despite the pressure of the world around her, she kept a rational and just mind. Despite what Alex says about her, he never fully recovered from losing her.
A midwife from Yartar, she is the woman who raised Alexander up until he was big enough to join his father in the Golden Gauntlet. Corinne raised Alex like he was her own son, a loving motherly figure that offered him all the care and support that a mother can give. Despite joining the mercenary life, Alexander kept visiting her regularly throughout the years to make sure she was fine. Sadly, when Alex was banished from Yartar he did not have the chance to see her and say goodbye, something that still gives him sadness when he thinks about it.
Path of the Knight
"Ehspnrh Rthidah Ihshmhidrrh"
Courage Justice Perserverance
(Thank you Ashenie for the awesome picture!)
"Ehspnrh Rthidah Ihshmhidrrh"
Courage Justice Perserverance
(Thank you Ashenie for the awesome picture!)
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I. Realization
With the help of Sister Ashenie, Alexander has seen something that was perhaps hidden about his future. The missing link, the way of Torm, the path of the Knight. His talks with the devoted woman are the first step in the Path of the Knight, she taught him the Mantra spoken by the Paladins of a far away land: "Ehspnrh Rthidah Ihshmhidrrh", Courage, Justice and Perseverance.
II. Mentor
It was clear that Alex needed guidance in his journey to become a Knight, Tormtar or not the old paladin Althalous Fenwick has accepted to teach him. Alex believes that he could have not asked for a better teacher.
III. Oath
With the intercession of Sister Ashenie's prayers, Alex has made an Oath to the Loyal Fury. Never again he shall be rewarded for the use of violence. Never again he will use violence to attack, but only to protect.
IV. The Guide
As suggested by his mentor, Alex continues his path toward knighthood asking guidance to the Tormtar and Guide of Candlekeep, Isabella Villame.
V. Training
Alex has increased his training schedule and started to spar with the Mystran Knights on top of his usual ventures outside the city to hone his fighting skills.
VI. Assisting in Purification
Alex assists Sister Ashenie in the purification of unholy grounds, watching over her and making sure she comes back unharmed. He learns the ways of Triadic Rituals.
VII. Torm's Table & Confession
Alex performs his first Tormtar Ritual before confessing his sins to the Loyal Fury, a meal for the hungry in the city, to purify the soul. Assisted by Sister Ashenie and Edelgarde Spades.
VIII. Investiture & Holy Vigil
Alex passes the trial of the Holy Vigil and is named Knight of the Tormtar Faith.
-The Apprentice- ((Music))
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A survivor from the Amnian village of Bekkreguard, Jonathan is a young man filled with the unease of the war that rendered him an orphan. His father was a man known by his last name Jankins, who was known for building armor and his crippling alcoholism. Jankins was a local legend at his time, but turned to alcohol after his wife was murdered by a thief using a weapon he personally created. Jonathan resents Amn and anybody who defended the city, as he feels they failed to save his father. Unjustified or not, he blames everyone there for caring too much about the city and not enough about its people.
Circumstances brought him to become Alexander's apprentice and squire, the Knight will always find spare time to spend with the young man as he is now his responsibility. Alexander is satisfied with his progress as a fighter so he mostly attempts to work on his mindset and attitude, so he would understand how much of a responsibility it is to wield a sword.
Background:
-Heritage- ((Music))
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"You are back...! How is father?"
The sound of the metal sabatons.
A deep breath.
"I am sorry Alex..."
"Sorry...? What happened?"
Silence.
"Say something!"
"He is dead. An arrow to his heart, we tr-"
"No...! No..."
"We tried... to get him back..."
"Try again!"
I feel my knees falling to the ground.
My eyes are burning.
"Try again... please..."
Silence, again.
I can hear only myself until...
"Alex."
I feel her touching my shoulder.
I stand up and do my best to get a hold of myself again.
But father is dead.
"Alex... your brother in arms has something for you."
She said, then I looked toward Armand again.
"His last wish. Have his sword."
He offered me Celegorn.
"He fought for the Gauntlet, he died for the Gauntlet." He added.
I took the sword, looked into my reflection on the blade.
I saw myself broken.
Reina just stood there with me.
"I am sorry... reach out, when you feel better." Armand said, and left.
I embraced the blade like it was father himself.
And so I lost him.
The sound of the metal sabatons.
A deep breath.
"I am sorry Alex..."
"Sorry...? What happened?"
Silence.
"Say something!"
"He is dead. An arrow to his heart, we tr-"
"No...! No..."
"We tried... to get him back..."
"Try again!"
I feel my knees falling to the ground.
My eyes are burning.
"Try again... please..."
Silence, again.
I can hear only myself until...
"Alex."
I feel her touching my shoulder.
I stand up and do my best to get a hold of myself again.
But father is dead.
"Alex... your brother in arms has something for you."
She said, then I looked toward Armand again.
"His last wish. Have his sword."
He offered me Celegorn.
"He fought for the Gauntlet, he died for the Gauntlet." He added.
I took the sword, looked into my reflection on the blade.
I saw myself broken.
Reina just stood there with me.
"I am sorry... reach out, when you feel better." Armand said, and left.
I embraced the blade like it was father himself.
And so I lost him.
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"I just had word, Lord Tarion is dead." I told her.
She did not reply, I couldn't see her face.
She was looking away from me.
"My Lady, I assume they expect a statement from you."
She took a deep breath.
"I will write a letter of condolence."
"Yes... my Lady."
I went for the door, then I stopped.
I had to say this.
"Why didn't you tell him? He could have been alive now."
"But at what cost?"
"Cost? He was a good man. You knew they were after him."
"Lord Tarion was indeed a good man, but his opinions would have likely caused a civil war in the city."
"So you let him die because of this?"
"Yes."
"You can't be serious...!"
"What is one life, Alex? A civil war would have killed hundreds."
"Yes... but-"
"There is no but, leadership comes with choices like this. I did it to protect those who have no say in all this."
Her voice trembled.
"Reina...?"
I walked a few steps closer.
"Are you crying...?"
And she was, my Lady was crying.
She did not reply, I couldn't see her face.
She was looking away from me.
"My Lady, I assume they expect a statement from you."
She took a deep breath.
"I will write a letter of condolence."
"Yes... my Lady."
I went for the door, then I stopped.
I had to say this.
"Why didn't you tell him? He could have been alive now."
"But at what cost?"
"Cost? He was a good man. You knew they were after him."
"Lord Tarion was indeed a good man, but his opinions would have likely caused a civil war in the city."
"So you let him die because of this?"
"Yes."
"You can't be serious...!"
"What is one life, Alex? A civil war would have killed hundreds."
"Yes... but-"
"There is no but, leadership comes with choices like this. I did it to protect those who have no say in all this."
Her voice trembled.
"Reina...?"
I walked a few steps closer.
"Are you crying...?"
And she was, my Lady was crying.
Hidden: show
The sound of the blade cutting flesh.
The blood slowly flowing along the edge, reaching my fingers.
His eyes opening wide.
His breath failing.
I am trembling.
"Alex...!"
I killed him.
"Hey! Alex!"
I have killed a man.
"Alex! Can you hear me?!"
Someone is shaking me?
"ALEX!"
My father took the sword away from me.
"I... k-killed... him..."
"The battle is over. Are you alright? Are you injured?!"
"I am... f-fine."
I can't look away from his dead body, I can't.
I have killed man.
I have ended a ma-
"Snap out of it! Alex!"
"How...?"
"You told me you wanted to be a mercenary, like me. I told you that war would have changed you.
This is how war looks like. There is no glory, there are no heroes, just a pool of blood and a crowd of destroyed families.
But this is how the world is, somebody has to do it. The fight cannot be stopped."
"I am sorry..."
"Do you still want to fight, my son? You are still in time to go back and live a normal life."
"I don't know..."
"Well, think about it. I will keep your sword until you have made up your mind.
Now go back to the camp, wash yourself, rest."
"Father?"
"Yes?"
"How many have you killed...?"
I remember his expression going dark, bitter.
He looked down toward the ground.
"I can't say. Can't remember."
The blood slowly flowing along the edge, reaching my fingers.
His eyes opening wide.
His breath failing.
I am trembling.
"Alex...!"
I killed him.
"Hey! Alex!"
I have killed a man.
"Alex! Can you hear me?!"
Someone is shaking me?
"ALEX!"
My father took the sword away from me.
"I... k-killed... him..."
"The battle is over. Are you alright? Are you injured?!"
"I am... f-fine."
I can't look away from his dead body, I can't.
I have killed man.
I have ended a ma-
"Snap out of it! Alex!"
"How...?"
"You told me you wanted to be a mercenary, like me. I told you that war would have changed you.
This is how war looks like. There is no glory, there are no heroes, just a pool of blood and a crowd of destroyed families.
But this is how the world is, somebody has to do it. The fight cannot be stopped."
"I am sorry..."
"Do you still want to fight, my son? You are still in time to go back and live a normal life."
"I don't know..."
"Well, think about it. I will keep your sword until you have made up your mind.
Now go back to the camp, wash yourself, rest."
"Father?"
"Yes?"
"How many have you killed...?"
I remember his expression going dark, bitter.
He looked down toward the ground.
"I can't say. Can't remember."
Hidden: show
It's pitch black.
I can't see.
I can hear my footsteps on a wet surface.
I feel anxious.
A sudden scream.
"LET US LIVE, PLEASE!"
I fall on my back, I am covered in something viscous... is it blood?
Other voices in the dark.
"Take everything you want! Just spare us!"
"You wont hurt my family!"
"Father help me!"
I hear crying.
The sound of steel cutting flesh.
I hear wood burning.
I stand back on my feet.
What is the meaning of all this?
If someone is in danger I have to find them...!
I see something! Lights!
I run. I keep running.
Something in my head tells me to stop, but I have to.
It's a burning village.
A warrior stands in the middle of a road littered with bodies.
Men, women, children.
The warrior's blade dripping blood.
"You did this?!" I ask.
Don't ask.
Don't look.
Go away.
The warrior does not turn, does not reply.
Something in my head begging me to leave.
But... I cannot, I have to see.
"You did this, yes or not?!" I ask again pulling on his shoulder.
I look in his face.
It can't be...
No...
I can't see.
I can hear my footsteps on a wet surface.
I feel anxious.
A sudden scream.
"LET US LIVE, PLEASE!"
I fall on my back, I am covered in something viscous... is it blood?
Other voices in the dark.
"Take everything you want! Just spare us!"
"You wont hurt my family!"
"Father help me!"
I hear crying.
The sound of steel cutting flesh.
I hear wood burning.
I stand back on my feet.
What is the meaning of all this?
If someone is in danger I have to find them...!
I see something! Lights!
I run. I keep running.
Something in my head tells me to stop, but I have to.
It's a burning village.
A warrior stands in the middle of a road littered with bodies.
Men, women, children.
The warrior's blade dripping blood.
"You did this?!" I ask.
Don't ask.
Don't look.
Go away.
The warrior does not turn, does not reply.
Something in my head begging me to leave.
But... I cannot, I have to see.
"You did this, yes or not?!" I ask again pulling on his shoulder.
I look in his face.
It can't be...
No...
Hidden: show
"Good night Alex."
Her last words.
Her last smile.
Her last moment.
The sound of the teacup shattering on the floor.
I remember lifting her up.
I remember the blood at the corner of her mouth.
"I NEED A HEALER! FIND A HEALER!"
Useless.
No way to fix it.
Like she was meant to die, that night.
"Useless mercenary, piece of filth... you were supposed to protect her...!"
Voices filling my head.
"My daughter is dead!"
I am sorry...
"Someone paid you to put poison in her drink?!"
No... lies... she was like a sister to me.
"Go away from this city, don't come back ever again!"
I could not even pay respect to her grave.
They would not let me.
While they were accusing me I felt something growing.
A beast in my chest, made of rage and bloodlust.
I wanted to kill them all... but I didn't.
Reina is gone... she was everything to me.
Her grace, intelligence, enthusiasm... her charisma.
Everything gone within a cup of tea.
Gone forever.
But they were right... I was supposed to protect her.
And I failed.
Her last words.
Her last smile.
Her last moment.
The sound of the teacup shattering on the floor.
I remember lifting her up.
I remember the blood at the corner of her mouth.
"I NEED A HEALER! FIND A HEALER!"
Useless.
No way to fix it.
Like she was meant to die, that night.
"Useless mercenary, piece of filth... you were supposed to protect her...!"
Voices filling my head.
"My daughter is dead!"
I am sorry...
"Someone paid you to put poison in her drink?!"
No... lies... she was like a sister to me.
"Go away from this city, don't come back ever again!"
I could not even pay respect to her grave.
They would not let me.
While they were accusing me I felt something growing.
A beast in my chest, made of rage and bloodlust.
I wanted to kill them all... but I didn't.
Reina is gone... she was everything to me.
Her grace, intelligence, enthusiasm... her charisma.
Everything gone within a cup of tea.
Gone forever.
But they were right... I was supposed to protect her.
And I failed.
Hidden: show
Moonlight coming through the broken windows.
Vines and thorns all around the walls.
A castle in ruin, debris, rotten furniture and burnt standards.
This is where I am.
There seems to be a cage in front me, a prison.
The metal bars high enough to go from the floor to the ceiling.
Something big must be held inside.
I feel fear, anxiety.
I see glowing red eyes in the dark, beyond the bars.
There is something breathing, growling.
Some sort of huge animal.
I fall on my back as it suddenly jumps at the bars.
The room trembles with a loud sound caused by the impact.
Dust falls all over the room.
The light of the moon now revealing the beast, this horned animal, or a demon.
"Set. Me. Free."
It speaks, its breath hot and menacing as fire.
I stand back on my feet, I want to run but there is no escape.
I am petrified, I can't move my eyes from this monster.
"What are you...?! What do you want from me?!"
"I want you to deliver Retribution.
I want you to set the rot on Fire.
I want you to bathe in the Blood of the Sinful."
"What... no... this is not me."
"Is it not? You have seen the rot yourself, you are part of it. Everything is.
I know that you want to destroy, fight, kill."
The beast extends its claws toward me.
"Those you loved are dead. It is the way of this meaningless world made of suffering.
Every time it happens I grow stronger, every time it happens these bars grow weaker.
It is just a matter of time, Alexander. You can't keep us separate forever...!"
I move one step back.
"I can't let that happen... I just can't..."
The beast cackles and returns into the shadows, its eyes closing. I see nothing but darkness beyond the bars.
"You know it will. When that day will come, you feel joy, true joy.
As this is your true nature."
Silence.
The Light fades.
Only void remains.
Hidden: show
I still remember the sound of the door closing.
His shadow disappearing under it.
The steps on the cobblestone.
I used to cry every time.
Every time he left.
I couldn't do it in front of him, he didn't like it.
But I also remember her embrace.
"He will come back." She said.
I could not reply, I just cried harder, letting out everything I was holding back.
"He loves you more than anything, he wont let you down."
"He... He said I have to become strong... if I want to go with him. But I cry every time he leaves..." I replied.
"You think crying makes you weaker? Why?" She gave me a kiss on the forehead, smiling.
"Because... because warriors don't cry." I said wiping away my tears.
"That's a lie. I saw a warrior cry once, and he was crying so much more than you now."
I just looked up to her, waiting to hear more.
"He lost the love of his life, he was so devasted he couldn't move. He simply kneeled down to the floor and cried, for so long."
"So he was weak...?"
"Oh no, he is anything but weak. You just saw him walk out of that door." She said caressing my cheek.
"Father? He...?"
"Oh yes. That made him stronger, facing his suffering, not weaker."
I didn't reply, my mind was too busy considering what she said.
"Now... I made biscuits! Do warriors eat biscuits?" She smiles with a teasing expression.
"...Yes." I loved her biscuits.
His shadow disappearing under it.
The steps on the cobblestone.
I used to cry every time.
Every time he left.
I couldn't do it in front of him, he didn't like it.
But I also remember her embrace.
"He will come back." She said.
I could not reply, I just cried harder, letting out everything I was holding back.
"He loves you more than anything, he wont let you down."
"He... He said I have to become strong... if I want to go with him. But I cry every time he leaves..." I replied.
"You think crying makes you weaker? Why?" She gave me a kiss on the forehead, smiling.
"Because... because warriors don't cry." I said wiping away my tears.
"That's a lie. I saw a warrior cry once, and he was crying so much more than you now."
I just looked up to her, waiting to hear more.
"He lost the love of his life, he was so devasted he couldn't move. He simply kneeled down to the floor and cried, for so long."
"So he was weak...?"
"Oh no, he is anything but weak. You just saw him walk out of that door." She said caressing my cheek.
"Father? He...?"
"Oh yes. That made him stronger, facing his suffering, not weaker."
I didn't reply, my mind was too busy considering what she said.
"Now... I made biscuits! Do warriors eat biscuits?" She smiles with a teasing expression.
"...Yes." I loved her biscuits.
