Wallace T. Faulkner III --- Paladin of Azuth

[ragnarok1983]

Wallace T. Faulkner III

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE
5'11"
185 lbs
Moderate build
Appears to be in his mid-seventies
Weathered appearance. His skin shows quite a few scars of old battles.
The most magnificent manly silver beard you have ever witnessed (on a human).

MANNERISMS
Distinguished appearance, slightly imposing stature, and relatively stern demeanor are the first obvious impressions you may gain upon first sight. This impression is generally quick to pass as the elder man's wry and playful eyes hint that he is truly a less-than-serious individual. His voice is deep, but whispy and he is prone to muttering and murmuring at the end of sentences with fading volume.

A terrible short-term memory will often make a frequent visit.

Will occasionally disappear from sight in tea-scented light blue fog.

EQUIPMENT
6' Walking stick
Longsword or Warhammer
Magical chime on his belt
The Holy Symbol of Azuth hangs from a mithral chain.
A shield, usually of the heavier variety
2ea water sacks labebled "Tea" and "More Tea"
A leather bound spellbook written in minuscule text.

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... and a ferret familiar named "Eliminster"



named such due to his constant theft of scrolls
...
and trinkets... and rings... and ale... and women's hearts... etcetera
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[ragnarok1983]

Great Bearded Tales
and Other Stories to Make Yer Sons Tough!

*The script in his journal is terrible. Written with aging hands, there are splotches of ink strewn across the page with jagged letters and trailing thoughts. For some reason, when reading the script the voice in your head echoes with Wallace's actual whispy voice and not proper text.*

Today was a good day. Mah beard was lookin sharp as a tack, mah scrolls weren't missing (thanks to a bit of Chamomile in Eliminster's snacks), and we went on a bit of an adventure.

Most importantly, mah beard was lookin good. Most importantly. Hrmph!

Now then, there was some business with a necromancer or two. Slayed me a couple undead lizards teh boot. Some of them fellers from the Radiant Heart musta been on an all-night Detect Evil binge because they were there teh assist in no time at all. No time at all, I tell yeh! And let meh tell yeh, that "Arkaine" feller was big as a house! Biggest human I ever saw... granted... seein' ain mah best quality... hmm... wonder if he was even human come teh think of it. Maybe one of them northern barbarian convert types. Hmm, I could go fer some tea. Why am I writing that down? What was I writing...?

Egh? Wot? Wot was I writing? Oh yes...

So we chase these necromancing fellers down after slayin' a couple hundred of them boney fellers on the way. Git aaaaallll the way teh that there little Beregost village. Well now we are in new jurisdiction mind yeh... so some other fellers got hold of the necromancers till the Radiant Heart got all caught up. Ended up burnin the fellers at the stake on requestin' of the Lathanderites. Never did like a burnin'. 'Least they did it humane-like.

The shame about the business is the decision was made to burn the spellbooks to. Real shame that. I wanted t'yell "It ain't th'spells, yeh nitwits, it's the caster there, that's evil!"

Bah! Local laws... can't do a thing about that. All well. It was a victory over all.

In other news, met some good people those few days. Good chaps all around. Met meh a Weave Master too. Some feller named "Sinqew" or "Sunkpew" or sumthin'. Ain't made out just whot they are all about, but they sound like good folk so far. Local wizards guild methinks. Might need teh keep an eye on em. A bit of Azuth's guidance couldn't hurt.

*at this point, Eliminister has awoken. The ferret jumps on top of the writing desk and steals the quill while Wallace takes a tea break. During a bit of quiet in Baldur's Gate, you can hear a whispy old man yelling at a ferret from some tower in the distance*

[ragnarok1983]

UNDEAD WOLVES AND RABID DEER. OH MY!

Hrmph. Slayed meh some undead wolves today. Hrmph! Right in front of that Aether Aethor Ether feller there. You know the chap... Radiant Heart type and all.

Anywho, slay some undead wolves saving the young chap from imminent and life-threatening danger. And you know what he says? He says they weren't undead! Bah. Youngins wouldn't know an undead if it hit em with a boney arm! Hrmph. Them wolves were so unnatural, even the deer were attackin em!

As if that weren't enough, found mahself surrounded by rabid stags! A bunch of em! Bah... a crazy world mah friends, a crazy world. Protect yerself. Hrmph. I tried to save the lad and that lass there... Mia think's her name... anywho tried to... uhhh... whot was I talking about agin? Uhhhhm....

Hrm, where's mah tea dangit...? I left it over here somewhere. Hrmph. Why am I writing all this down again? I really should check into mah mental state methinks. Ack! I'm still writing this!

*slams the book closed*

[ragnarok1983]

THE PASSING OF ELIMINSTER

Today... today some nefarious horned feller... he... he killed Eliminster. Poor little Eli... *sniffles* He didn't even git to try on his little ferret plate mail I made him. *sniffles*

Yeh bastid! If I ever find yeh horned head in these lands... I... I swear on Azuth that justice will befall yeh like an entire meteor storm upon yer pointy melon! HRMPH!

*sniffles and rubs his wrinkled eyes*

Eli, I barely knew yeh... but yeh were the best friend I've had these past eight years and I can't stand th'thought of losin yeh...

I suppose I'll see a cleric, little Eli. I'll see if yeh want to come back.... I hope yeh do. I don't know whot I'll do without yeh you little knave. I... I miss yeh Eli.

IN MEMORY OF ELIMINSTER
Mah furry companion...

May yeh go where the jewelry is never secure
and the crickets are tasty and plentiful...

[ragnarok1983]

Vacation

Well mah period of mournin is over. Poor Eli, may he rest in peace, did not opt to... egh... return. Can't blame him a'course. Still miss him though.

Anywho, done meh some travellin' round the the Sword Coast while I look for a suitable and masculine familiar that can fill the void left by Eli. Naturally I've been makin' the world a manlier place one day at a time. Been savin' the lasses, slayin' some undead fellers, and gittin' a good supplier of exotic teas from Chult.

De-licious!

Nevertheless I feel mah callin' is still at the Gate. Got them an acceptable level of respect for arcanists and a constant need to keep the evil-doers in line! Hrmph. Plus I probably only have a few good years left in meh before I retire to watching the seas and drinkin' teas.

Why in the hells am I writing all this!? Wot was this all about anyway?

*closes the cover and reads the title*

Great Bearded Tales!? Bah... I thought I was just writing stuff down to remember wot I was doin! Well... I'll write yeh some tales later on then. It's almost sun down and I still have a spell book to prepare!

[ragnarok1983]

Invoking a Vocation of Evocation After Vacation
Due to Provocation and Resulting Altercations

So there I was, deep in the... cup of tea when a youngin' sprung up like a...like a spring! He spoke slanderous words against Mystra and even Azuth, to which I responded hastily --- after finishing both slices of toast, a cup of tea, and a chapter of a book I was reading. The youngin' went on speaking of the sin that is the Weave. Which, after looking at the mange upon his crown, I thought that surely twas his own hair we spoke of.

But it was naught!!!

He spoke of the Weave around us.... Slanderous words he spoke! Slanderous, hrm-hrmph. I could not stand for it, and so I spoke at length with him, but he would not have it. And then... SHADOW MAGIC! He spoke of it and intended to use it against me! Thankfully, after some lengthy and perhaps too-lengthy verbal assaults from a certain Weave Master sporting a fantastic beard, the assailant fell asleep.

I took this opportunity to... fetch another cup of tea.

And a fine tea he was, hrm-hrmph. An hour or so passes and the lad begins to wake and speak dark mutterings as his eyes began to open. I promptly hit him square on his noggin with my Wand of Quiet Down, Youngin. The spitfire slanderer was finally... reasonable. I secured his spellbook and replaced it with finer literature that I read during my upbringing.

Twas mah last copy of "The Undead Are Out To Get You; Make No Bones About It!" and I shall miss it.

Nevertheless, I sent the now-quiet and slightly-humbled along his way in hopes of some... re-education... on an island... far far far from this place.

Glory be to Azuth!

[ragnarok1983]

/// my in-game time is still a bit limited with an infant, demanding job, and setting up a second household. I hope you all enjoy the tales in the mean time. I'll be on occasionally throughout the week though. Probably after 9 Central most nights that I can get on. ///