It's funny how the gods work. Right. Not so funny, but they tell us what they need just when it is needed. Thomas, I do like him. Direct and honest, yet polite. A rare combination I find. He gave a reading, though it was not what he thought it was, nor I for that matter. I feel like I've been struggling of late, so much conflict, it's been unbearable. A large part of that has been the fighting with Luke, he has grown cold towards me. For the first time in months I feel bitterly alone and it cuts deep, much more then I've felt in many years. In my misery and dark hour, Tymora gave me a clear reminder of just how far I've come. To my utter disbelief as Thomas laid out the cards one at a time, it was a backwards journey, to my beginnings in order. (( Weird eh? )). Ever since I left festhall, I always figured myself a tragic end, trying to enjoy the moment the best I could until someone put an end to my miserable existence. Of course things had been looking up a bit for some time now, but I never did truely believe any other fate for me, after all, I deserve no less. The near future may look bleak now, but I am far better off then I was not long ago. A much stronger person then I'd ever been, had that accursed dagger not laid into my hands so long ago.
I asked him to draw two more cards, for the future. Oddly enough two cards did stick together. A king of pentacles and then an ace of swords. Thomas and Vali did give me their interpretations and I did listen carefully, and there was wisdom in them to be learned, however the message was for me. Not either of them. The King of Pentacles represents the present and the joining of the two represents transition into perhaps a joint future with the Ace of swords or perhaps the Ace of swords alone. I do not understand the meaning of the card and doubt I'm meant to at this point, perhaps even it is a bit unclear as of yet. But I will, with the passage of time, i am certain of it
Felicienne Ta'Igris “Give not thyself up, then, to fire, lest it invert thee, deaden thee, as for the time it did me. There is a wisdom that is woe; but there is a woe that is madness.”
Madryk Crownshield: 'alf-orc, ye faater be cryin loike an old woman rioght before I gutted im
Rilae , I don't know where I'd be without her. I spoke with her at length concerning things and she just listened. How far things have come with her, I tolerated her at best when we first met her some eight months ago I figured she was raving mad, but seemingly kind enough. I took pity on her as I've done with Teris. I recall things only got worse from there, I saw her anger and I nearly had to draw blade against her in defense of Ronin and Rai soon after warning the elves of her anger and self proclaimed dark ties to those accursed drow. A heaviness falls upon my heart recalling this, I truely intended to see her dead. Only at the request of a mutual friend did I relent. And she's forgiven me for it. Even though I am hardly deserving of such. Dreadful to think on what could have happened. Since I've traveled with her, under guise of a half-elf, to see what sort of woman she really was and I've come nearly full circle. Qualities that most would admire. She's given herself to her god, who is, quite shockingly, benevolent. She's an idealist and a bit naive, odd considering her background but it's good to have someone like her around to balance out the other sorts and even myself. I am blessed to be able to call her friend after all that had happened.
Desrah, Cassie, whatever. I don't know what her bloody game is. She is secretive always speaking in private yet she "opened up" to me divulging all sorts of interesting details about her past. Shadow Thieves, killing another and assuming their identity to escape her past, and a traumatic upbringing. I'd feel for her if I could believe a single word she had uttered. She is certainly mixing fact with fiction, that is what she does. A story designed to tug at the strings of my heart. I am quite sure she believes she can manipulate about anyone to do whatever she wants. All women know how to get men to do what they want, but a Succubus cannot do the same thing to another. Small wonder Desrah can't get along with other women. She is nearly everything i do hate about myself. Despite all of this, I would have gotten along with her, friendly as we were. If she hadn't designs on Luke and called bleedin bhaalists her siblings. Even among those of low morale character and cutthroats hate and shun bhaalists and psychopaths and at best a few tolerate them like orcs. Useful tools held with a high level of disdain. Her so generous offer of forgiveness in the guise of requesting something from me in turn because of a 'business arrangement' in regards with a contract on Ivan is not only highly unprofessional it is dishonorable even amongst assassins.
Felicienne Ta'Igris “Give not thyself up, then, to fire, lest it invert thee, deaden thee, as for the time it did me. There is a wisdom that is woe; but there is a woe that is madness.”
Madryk Crownshield: 'alf-orc, ye faater be cryin loike an old woman rioght before I gutted im
Everyone has been oh so nice lately, sympathetic to my situation. Amusin that Teris was dead set on fixin me. He carried me off. I'm not entirely sure why I let him, but it was the right thing to do i think. He's got the annoying habit of always picking on the flaws of my personal appearance. He's really sweet though, sometimes he tries to say somethin nice and comes out all wrong and insulting. Wish I'd had the chance to know him before insanity grasped him. Nathaniel and Necrid followed along concerned for my safety. I have to admit to myself, in my condition, I enjoyed the fawning. I'm quite certain Nathaniel has eyes for me, he is cute and all, but not exactly my type. Whatever that might be. Not like my love life has been coming up roses or it ever has. I'll have to do some self reflection. In any regard, decent sorts seem to care about my wellbein lessening the pain of loneliness and worry that's been cutting at my heart. Ivan, Jules among others. I have them all to thank for putting things into prospective.
This bloody curse sure hasn't been helping my mental state of well being, it's fraying at my nerves. And I've been sort of a bitch of late, mean and snapping at people I'd normally not. My toe is killing me. I've lost count how many times I've stubbed it. The nail is falling off, whole thing is black as night and it continuallly throbs unless I keep putting ointment on it. I should probably just cut the darned thing off and have a healer cast regenerate on it. I pray that this will be resolved shortly, otherwise I fear I'll become an irritable and intolerable wench. Though it is a bit relieving to say what is on your mind without a filter.
Felicienne Ta'Igris “Give not thyself up, then, to fire, lest it invert thee, deaden thee, as for the time it did me. There is a wisdom that is woe; but there is a woe that is madness.”
Madryk Crownshield: 'alf-orc, ye faater be cryin loike an old woman rioght before I gutted im
Wishes fufilled, sensual pleasure, enjoying the moment
1331 DR-1337 DR
Beginnings, oh, my first love. I adored him so, loved him with my entire heart. The man who set me on this path in the beginnings, if it wasn't he, it would have been another. As desperate was I to escape the confines of my home. Locked away in her room by her lonesome, no little friends or siblings to play with. Tend to the fields, do you chores, study till night fall and goto bed. A perfect little angel with horns was their vision. Suffocated till I could take no more of it, then he came along being as handsome as he was, a traveler helping father out in the fields. Father didn't care much for his teachings, but he had a way with words, likeable. So shy I was around him, openin my mouth and nothin comin out. He looked at me, noticed me, watched me and I he. Before I knew it, I was sneakin out runnin through the fields, swimmin in the pond, lying about staring up at the stars listenin to him wide eyed about tales of lands beyond our little village and his god and drinking from his lips. I felt, alive, for the first time in my life. I tried to hide affections and he his, but mum must have known what was happenin, Father too. Till that day in the fields, I'd fallen hurt a bit, mostly pride, but playing coy and Clint came running to see if I was alright, when he offered his arm I did pull him down.
Then we got lost in the moment, till I heard my fathers shouts. Yelling all manner of obsenities at Clint. My heart leaped from my chest, in a panic, I ran and Clint after me. Till I feel over exhausted. We couldn't go back and that was just fine with me. We wandered for a few years seeing things neither of us had before, experienced before. Such is the life a Sharessian. We were so happy, just the two of us. Lovers and best mates. Man and wife. Then came Festhall. Finding others of our faith was, exhilarating. We drank, talked, sang, danced until we could no more. Each day literally a festival and we were happy for a while. As the months went by Clint became less and less interested in myself until only hollow honeyed words remained between us. I became more and more jealous and bitter loving him far longer then he loved me. Then one day he just upped and left without a word, me his wife. Perhaps it was for best, but I'll never forgive him.
I did pledge to recommit myself to my god, Sharess, living life to the fullest. And I did. Sharing duties with my fellow priests in festhall and traveling about searching for new experiences, till there was none left to find. In those days life was fufilling, but somehow empty. Things began to seem recycled, tedious. Even the merriment of festhall and the poisons therein did become far too familiar, which is not uncommon, in actuality. It is part of a sharess priests growth, but somewhere I got lost. Practicing to excess in the quest for new experiences. Starting a bar fight to feel what it's like bein on the other end of it all. Feeling the whips lash on my back. The sharp pain of a dagger in my thigh. Those among the things I care repeat, others I would not speak of again. I was truely lost and completely out of control, thank Sharess, she sent Olivia after me and I did atone. My sister priest and my anchor and again I, we, were happy for a time
Last edited by Ricastle on Tue Jul 22, 2014 10:10 am, edited 4 times in total.
Felicienne Ta'Igris “Give not thyself up, then, to fire, lest it invert thee, deaden thee, as for the time it did me. There is a wisdom that is woe; but there is a woe that is madness.”
Madryk Crownshield: 'alf-orc, ye faater be cryin loike an old woman rioght before I gutted im
I'd thought about it, considered it for what he did to me. Sharing his life and his affections with other women and other men while neglecting me, my needs. I endured for far too long in the hope the man I once knew would return, I was Sharess afterall and I shared lovers nearly as much as he did, pehaps moreso, but much of it out of spite. Me sharing my affections with others did not bother him in the least which denied any sense of satisfaction. As he laid beside me and my infernal blood would boil. How dare he did sneak into my bed once again after sneaking about on me, lieing to me time and time again with sweet honeyed words. I found comfort and reveled in his time of misery. He taught me how to lie, how to be devious. While I comforted him in times of need whispering sweet nothings as I secretly reveled in his misfortune. By that was not enough. I truely wished him killed and fantasized about stabbing him in the neck watching his life slowly slip away as he had been doing to me. I couldn't bring myself to do this, but i desired in my heart.
Flannigan. A forgettable sort, average, normal. He came in asking for care, he was dying, some disease and incurable. We could do little for him. I spent many an hour tending to him for half a tenday chatting about his travels and the life he was leaving behind. He kept his sinister past to himself, even as he passed. On the last day, he did call for me. Wishing to leave me his worldly possessions, in particular his prized dagger. He said it would bring me luck, but it only would bring woe. That is what crafted to do. As time did pass murderous thoughts and impulses did overcome my senses. At first anyone that did cross me and as I denied those impulses and desires to came to minor slights. I drown in my own thoughts, resisting them, hating myself for thinking them. Till, I gave in. I know not how this came about, in temple, tis all a blurr. While massaging a patron's back, he insinuated something, of my own self worth. My hand searched for dagger and buried it deep in his spine with force. He screamed but it did not reach my ears, I was overcome with pure unadulterated bliss like nothing before as a heavy burden was lifted. Then I looked down at him, a lump in my throat, my heart did sink and I feel to my knees and wept happy tears of despair. My heart raced and I ran from the temple, dagger in hand. I'd not known how I'd not left it dropped it and I could not bare to part with it.
So I traveled to the nearest city, intent on ending my life. I provoked sordid sorts, in dark allies until one did bury his dagger deep in my chest. When I awoke, it was Oliva, she told me Sharess had whispered in her ear during prayer looking down with her loving sympathetic eyes. I loved her, I could not bear to have her share in my pain, pull her into my pit, my misery with me. I was insulting, mean, I lied, because I loved her. She would not follow me down this path, I'd not let her. So I ran, and I killed as the urges became unbearable, I became insane. In constant conflict with myself, wishing myself dead, but fearing the flames. In my mind a bargain was reached, I'd only take those who would take of others. A lie told to myself and believed while performing all manner of wicked acts which did cause elation and despair. In the alleyway a shady sort, waiting. I watched, patiently. He was about to leave, so I did approach intent on murdering him to feed my impulses, but instead I listened. He confused me for an unnamed other offering me coin for the elimination of his rival. I did and stalked his rival for days, until he slept, sneaking into his house and poisoning his milk and as expected was dead the very next day. I returned, demanding payment, in which he said he didn't have it. I stabbed him, in the throat, imagining him to be Clint. It was hollow, empty. Taking my fee, his rings, and more I moved on. The Red Adder, murder for hire was born.
Last edited by Ricastle on Tue Jul 22, 2014 10:13 am, edited 3 times in total.
Felicienne Ta'Igris “Give not thyself up, then, to fire, lest it invert thee, deaden thee, as for the time it did me. There is a wisdom that is woe; but there is a woe that is madness.”
Madryk Crownshield: 'alf-orc, ye faater be cryin loike an old woman rioght before I gutted im
I stalked them from afar, watching until the moment was right and ending them in all manner of ways. The hunt, the anticipation and thrill of it all, knowing your prey will meet their end by your hands. The way a true sharessian experiences. The urge to kill resided within the dagger, the means to enjoy it so thoroughly in myself and my devil blood. Those of mine did meet their ends by dagger, by mace, by arrows point, by smothering, by strangulation, by poison, by drowning, by others hands as I watched, forcing them to do so by their own hand, quickly and painlessly, held captive over a period of days of prolonged suffering. I explored death to the fullest, experienced it, watched it, and reveled in it before it, like everything else had, became all too familiar. Empty, Hollow. An urge, a compulsion, and obsession, an itch that needed be scratched. The highs did become fleeting, left only with a sense of bitterness and self hatred in which I did become.
Elaria, poor sweet Elaria. The child was young and I asked her, her name, speaking softly in her ear. Her father laying lifelessly upstairs in his bed and the contract clearcut. She wished her father and I told her he was away, she was distraught and I did comfort her. Sitting on my lap whispering in her ear how everything would be ok and it would be, very soon. Drawing dagger, i placed it in the back of her skull, quickly, painlessly my senses quickly becoming overwhelmed with bitter sorrow as I felt her life end in my arms. The dagger, slipping from my grasp as I held her tight, in horror, in agony I wept until I feel asleep she clutched tight in my arms. Upon awaking, i stared down at her brushing her hair with my fingers. My heart sinking, my blood boiling, i screamed until I was horse tossing her aside with a thump staring down at her, tears streaming down my face. I raged. Picking up dagger blinded by it all, I took it to anvil, striking it over and over again, until my arms could not swing any more. Falling to knees, staring down at the pieces, bitter sorrowful tears pouring from swollen eyes and collapsed into a ball and slept once more. When days light roused me once again I picked up the pieces, what was left of the dagger, myself and scattered them wandering in a daze, worn out, emotionless for days.
Poor sweet Elaria, the one who did die, so I could be reborn. The nightmares of what I'd done recounted in my mind, gathering ill gotten gains, I wandered away. It mattered not, just away. Fleeing from what I'd done, what I was. I gave all of it away, all of my gains, but that did not ease the burden. Craving death's embrace, but fearing the hells moreso and enduring on begrudgingly. Stealing from those who did have excess and those who would cross me and selling my services when coin was scarce. Only emptiness, sorrow, and regret did remain of once that I was. A year went by, perhaps two, perhaps more. Time dragged on and only small thrills of the a cutpurse remained.
Last edited by Ricastle on Tue Jul 22, 2014 10:25 am, edited 6 times in total.
Felicienne Ta'Igris “Give not thyself up, then, to fire, lest it invert thee, deaden thee, as for the time it did me. There is a wisdom that is woe; but there is a woe that is madness.”
Madryk Crownshield: 'alf-orc, ye faater be cryin loike an old woman rioght before I gutted im
In time hearts do heal, at a snails pace in my case. I began to dream, to aspire of being more then I was. I'd open a massage parlour using the techniques I did learn in festhall from Olivia and others. I thought often of returning, but I could not face her. What I did, how I left things. I was beneath her, she should have nothing to do with me. So I did endure and did stick with a plan, but they always wanted more and I was loathe to say no. I could always use the gold and even enjoyed it at times, bringing small pleasures to others, while dragging myself back into darkness. Sharess had abandoned me, but her teachings did remain. It's how I met him, a scoundrel, who did bring color back in my mostly gray world. He whispered lies in my ears, told me everything I wished to hear. So I felt for him, loved him, as he said he loved me. I knew it wasn't true, but it rung so sweetly in my ears, I could pretend to be happy once more. Pretend to be, normal, relatively. Our romance was not long lived and the illusion did fade. He told me of his god and I listened. In her grace I could be saved from my undoubtedly wicked fate. As the words became truer, my feelings for he faded as Leira did answer my prayers. His feelings were true, so I bedded Myron and left him with sweet lies he wished to hear.
My destiny was was once again my own though memories did weigh heavily. I traveled about, living for the day enjoying the moment. A revelation was made, giving up all that dragged me into despair. A poetic irony of a sort as Leira did guide my path through the mists. Clint and Myron had taught me well. How do deceive, mislead, tell others all they wished to hear and in Leira I did find inner strength I'd lost. So I bartered, picked pockets, swindeled, gambled leaving most I did wrong with a smile upon their faces. The shine of life once again did return, finding moments of pleasure living one to the next dulled by the nightmares of what I was. Cheery and glum as the sun rose to sun set.
Last edited by Ricastle on Tue Jul 22, 2014 10:35 am, edited 3 times in total.
Felicienne Ta'Igris “Give not thyself up, then, to fire, lest it invert thee, deaden thee, as for the time it did me. There is a wisdom that is woe; but there is a woe that is madness.”
Madryk Crownshield: 'alf-orc, ye faater be cryin loike an old woman rioght before I gutted im
Traveling from place to place one after the other, a person can only carry so much around and I thrived to excess. Swindling, cheating, stealing more then I could possibly spend. I threw around my coin being generous with tips for better service, but taking small comfort in their genuine gratitudes. I gave coin to the less fortunate, those who could not earn for themselves. It was nearly as moving as stealing, and oh how I did love to steal. Soothing the soul and I became comfortable once more with who I was. The nightmares lingering less and less, dulled by wine and other posions. Eventually I found myself stealing from those who had in order to give to those who did have not. I was blinded for a time as to precisely the reason of the why of it. Stuffing gems and platinum in those who were destitute pockets without them even knowing.
When one is nomadic, a lone traveler, such as myself you have much time to think about things. The past, the present, the future, the why of things, and much self reflection. I began to more fully understand myself. Who I was and I set forth rules to live by. Nothing written in stone, but some lines should not be crossed under most any circumstance. For my own sanity and my parents memories for me. Only stealing from those who had in excess or had wronged myself or others among other things. I wished for a new start again. Spending time in the docks, looking to the sea dreaming of distant lands. Dreaming of what I could be and leaving all that I was behind. So I stowed away, jumping from ship to ship and city to city. It was thrilling, being afraid I'd be caught, always pretending I was something I was not. Fooling them, but at the same time feeling guilt. Stealing, giving, lieing, swindling, and making them happy all at the same time. Always leave them with a smile.
Last edited by Ricastle on Tue Jul 22, 2014 10:49 am, edited 5 times in total.
Felicienne Ta'Igris “Give not thyself up, then, to fire, lest it invert thee, deaden thee, as for the time it did me. There is a wisdom that is woe; but there is a woe that is madness.”
Madryk Crownshield: 'alf-orc, ye faater be cryin loike an old woman rioght before I gutted im
One can call another Enterprising, I think that would be Nelwynn. He in large part sent me down this path, turned me from a swindler to a proper business woman. He's always saying what's on his mind and people accept him, like him even though they may not agree with him. A natural charisma that cannot be taught. Give the impression of who you wish to be to others and they will see you as that, look for wealth and it will find you. Be profitable in your ventures, maximize it risk to reward. And look for opportunity where ever it may be, or seemingly how small. Anything which increases reputation or makes you well known can only help your future business transactions. I'm touched by his commitment to his mother.
Wai Li is a rock, she does what she thinks is right. I might have had to flee the coast if she hadn't helped put a stop to all the bizaare rumors about me. We still joke about it from time to time. I laugh about all this, but at times it is bothersome. I'm the type that stayed out of sight, out of mind. She's a pillar of virtue, seemingly unafraid of any fate that may befall her. There is no question that she can always be counted on. Dependable and unfailing her service to her god.
Supportive. Mealir's commitment to his crew is admirable including an unfailing dedication to Rain even when things went south. He's quick to put himself in harms way if others are in need and has been a steady positive influence on the crew. He picks people up when they are down, encouraging them. I suppose I'm one of his projects. I wasn't much of a sailor beforehand only having a keen sense of business. I picked his pocket, a few times, before I knew he was a philanthropic sort. Felt a bit guilty afterwards and blabbed yet despite that, he still gave me the chance to prove myself. The very same day.
I know many who are steady, stabilizing influences. Ivan, the druid and his commitment to nature and his friends. Julindra the Bardess who sits at the campfire day in and day out guiding new folk in these lands. Ronin Marcus, gods, we drove him off I think. Hoihe Dacino and his duties. Nathaniel Collins the wandering helmite. Soora who displayed great strength in keeping the crew sane and together when Mealir lost his marbles for a bit when the crew was left for dead. Lucy the disciple of the red Knight. Rilae and her commitment to her god and her vision. Mercury and Cassie whose seemingly unflinching dedication to their families. And even though things did not work out well, Luke Darius was the inspiration that helped me find a bit more stability. Allowing me to branch from Leira and open my ears and heart back to sharess who I'd felt betrayed. There is value in truth, though not absolute the way the triad might preach. I'll never be the pillar that most of these are, but I'll endeavor to have the qualities best I can.
/// Open for future edit ///
Felicienne Ta'Igris “Give not thyself up, then, to fire, lest it invert thee, deaden thee, as for the time it did me. There is a wisdom that is woe; but there is a woe that is madness.”
Madryk Crownshield: 'alf-orc, ye faater be cryin loike an old woman rioght before I gutted im
I stare at him as it whispers to me, in my mind flashing memories past. It makes me see things. A dagger plunging through his spine, my friend. I tremble as the feelings of bliss recaptured in that brief moment and I slide away my weapons. Briefly afraid. Not of the relic, but myself. Could I do that, would I, again? I gently stroke my ring and that comforts me, reassures me. Within moments I am reminded of the lifetime of misery for brief moments indulging appetites. No longer am I a slave to my indulgences like some young girl, or neophyte priestess. Indulgences are to be savored, in moderation, lest they lose their shine as a means to happiness and fulfillment.
Unnerved I follow them on in a daze, distracted. No idea where we are, nor does anyone else. I flipped a coin, as the song did imply and it came up cloaks. Darkness of the cloak is misfortunes devotion. An ill and ominous omen that lingered on as they fought on through waves of beasts as I slowly regained focus fighting along side them until I blacked out. When I did awake and came to my senses, I felt around for it, patting my belly and it was sticky. It was there, I could feel it. I draw my hand up and peer the blood about it, my blackened hand. The protections offered by the wards were not enough, it bleed upon me, soaking into me. Thoughts rushing through my mind of what I had seen of the others, those who were tainted by this vile artifact and feel to a knee. No one did notice, slowly standing, shaking trembling. I wanted to lie back down, break down and cry, wallow in my misery. If only for a moment, but I did press on though I could not hide my feelings as doomed as I was. So much blood. I fought against it, casting my emotions aside until none remained as I'd done many times before. They knew something was wrong, but I lied, and they believed me. I'd not allow their concerns over me to distract them. I was likely doomed, no reason they should share in my fate. And we did defeat the beast who had killed many and in a flash returned in familiar surroundings once more.
I showed them, what had become of me. My abdomen black as night, nothing could be done nor was their time. Worries of what would become of me running through my thoughts, I didn't hear much of what anyone did say I just grabbed the coin telling them I was going to flip it once more and no one did leave. As I flipped it high in the air I prayed for moon, but alas, it was cloaks and misfortune would visit us once again as we were transported to some unknown residence. Bandits were overcome and the couple seemed be saved, but there was another in the abode. A demon, a powerful demon, wishing their antique pendant. We did overcome it as well, saving the couple, with a smile upon my lips and in flash we were in familiar surroundings. Then we laughed. We all laughed. Forgetting my condition, caught up in it all. Grabbing last coin I did flip it high into the air and it came up cloaks. I laughed as we transported to someplace familiar, we did right a wrong and it was done.
Three cloaks lying on the table, yet a bright flying bird flies high upon the air swirling over the relic. It crashes down into it with force with a brillant flash the relic is destroyed as we are strewn about the room, crashing into the wall. Then I giggled looking down at my hand and my abdomen, the blackness was no more. Laughing I ran up to my nearest friend and did embrace him, pushing him away. Cursed no more. Cheerful, merry in our weary state we did laugh and celebrate. Cloaks coming up roses.
Felicienne Ta'Igris “Give not thyself up, then, to fire, lest it invert thee, deaden thee, as for the time it did me. There is a wisdom that is woe; but there is a woe that is madness.”
Madryk Crownshield: 'alf-orc, ye faater be cryin loike an old woman rioght before I gutted im
It's over, it's finally over. Rain is gone. Hoihe tells me her soul is finally free, able to pass to the realms of the seldarine. The matron's obsession with the flute resulted in her own demise, bloody, and insignificant. A far kinder fate then what would have been, what Daltry had endured. The flute destroyed, Daltrys finally being freed from his curse, his obsession. He radiated so much angst, so much pain, so much regret, and I could feel for him as I've felt. He wronged many, stealing parts of their very soul, living for centuries, leeching off others. But in the end, it all weighed on him heavily and he only wished to make things right again. For all that I endured, he must have experienced over many centuries. If he can find peace, why cannot I.
No time to sit and smell the roses. Hoihe is distracted. Celebrating his wish come true. He is Tel-quesir now, or is he? I worry for him as much as I am happy for him. He is spending much time among the elves and neglecting his duties upon the ship. I cannot blame Hoihe, as a Sharess priest, I encourage him to experience life as an elf. Soon enough newness of it all will begin to lose it's shine and he'll find his way back more and more often. Though, we are stuck in port so it matters little, minor repairs have proceeding along as expected, but we still need a mast. Everything seems to be in order, moving along. If something comes up I could probably find or scavage another mast and have a druid shape it .
I have some time on my hands of late and I've been spending it with those I care about, one in particular. I was being priestly counselling her about how to enjoy her life, how to relax. Take pleasure and happiness in the small, everyday things. I've very much enjoyed our time together and we've become friends and perhaps a bit beyond. I search my feelings and I can't seem describe it or label it. She keeps whispering in my ear the ritual of attonement, and the timing is now right. I thought I didn't need to, but Cassandra's poem in the white mask moved me to tears and despair. I need to forgive myself for what I did, how I felt.
Felicienne Ta'Igris “Give not thyself up, then, to fire, lest it invert thee, deaden thee, as for the time it did me. There is a wisdom that is woe; but there is a woe that is madness.”
Madryk Crownshield: 'alf-orc, ye faater be cryin loike an old woman rioght before I gutted im
I fail to find the reason why my luck would run afoul, footing giving way dismounting being unable to brace myself and head striking rock. So I do lie here ailing on a cot, still unable to keep balance above deck but for short moments without feeling dizzy, nauseous.
Faith is like the sea. Merciless to those who would struggle against her. Those who do not respect her fighting against the waves and currents drown beneath them. While those who do give themselves to it float happily along reaching their desired destination unscathed.
At times that destination hasn't been where I wanted to go, but where I've needed to go. The gods have been kind to me of late perhaps taken pity me. I've informed Hoihe and my mates of my little reprieve. It's time I reconnect with my fellow priests, I'll leave for waterdeep in the morrow.
The twenty first of Marpenoth
Dusk approaches and the city of Splendors is finally within eye sight and a chill goes up my spine. Excitement, anticipation, and apprehension. I've heard the festhall's there are luxurious, a sight to behold, and the revels. Oh, yes, I can't wait to fully experience if only for a few days. Living, celebrating, preaching with my brethren. Or are they? I've grown accustomed to city life, but I'm afraid I'm still just a country bumpkin from the far east who preached to a small audience in more intimate surroundings. I don't know why I'm so nervous, my hand is actually shaking. My mind keeps racing. I hope I can get some sleep, I need to be at my best to impress my fellow clergy.
Last edited by Ricastle on Wed Oct 22, 2014 8:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Felicienne Ta'Igris “Give not thyself up, then, to fire, lest it invert thee, deaden thee, as for the time it did me. There is a wisdom that is woe; but there is a woe that is madness.”
Madryk Crownshield: 'alf-orc, ye faater be cryin loike an old woman rioght before I gutted im
Where has the day gone? I woke up refreshed, excited, determined to make my way to temple. Mounting my horse and riding swiftly to the gates where I cut him loose free to go as he may. Passing through the gates I see merchants, traders as far as the eye can see. Already the city is abuzz with activity, city of splendors indeed! Then I got lost for hours in the South Ward, perusing fine clothes, leather works, jewelry, incense all to be bargained for. The desire to bargain not yet quenched I traveled to the merchant district and purchased a few more things before I noticed the sun slowly fading behind the buildings. Time to make my way to the temple Meren mentioned to me.
9:00 pm
Boisterous laughter filled the streets and yet I barely see the temple. Not nearly as grand as Meren had described, but still larger then the one preached in. Perhaps 20 by 25 meters and three levels all told. When I made my way through the door, a brilliant wash of gold overcame my vision. Bright chandelier light reflecting off of gold painted walls. The air thick with the sent of smoked fowl, perfume, and liqour. A half dozen ornate elaborate pillars decorated the floor sculpted in the dancing ladies image. The walls adorned with tasteful paintings. Famished from forgetting to eat all day, I made my way to the back. Two large tables, filled with various delicacies and spirits among the finest Waterdeep had to offer. I ate till I was stuffed, overfull though hardly touching the spirits and even in my uncomfortable state I began to feel ...wonderful. It's been long since I've partaken of particular herbs. I began to mingle with those about me, not with the priests, but with the patrons as I had once done before I noticed one of the priests begin to sway with the music. Many joined, I among the first and we dancing for hours while other patrons gossiped among each other, watched, or danced with us. Time quickly passed and most migrated upstairs to the chamber rooms. Incense and lavender filled the air, an open room really, silk drapery hanging down to segment off each chamber. Curiosity sated, I wandered back down to the main floor and spied one of the priests cleaning up in the early morning hours and helped her. I learned a bit about Joanne and she did I, she seemed as intrigued by my traveling as I did her city life. We spoke of many things, well past morning light until others began to appear from above and below.
The twenty third Marpenoth
I awoke suddenly midday to loud noises, arising suddenly I nearly passed out falling down against the pillow. Confused by the unfamiliar surroundings. The after effects from hitting my head, still lingering. Eyes closed, I take in the surroundings and realize there is no danger. I sit up slowly and wander over leaning against a pillar watching. As Joanne notices me I hold a finger to the ceiling and walk up the stairs. Surprisingly, as I enter the main floor few priests are around, so I pick some figs off the table and sip from wine. During the day it seems the priests are more withdrawn. The rest of the day I spent getting to know the other priests a senior one named Sapphon in particular and preparing for the nightly revel. Another wild night of Revel ensued nearly until sun up and I am spent, exhausted. These priests could well use my more worldly wisdom, but I'm not sure that time is now and I can't deny my hearts desire to raise children . Can or should I do so in this temple?
The greatest pleasure one can experience is love, all else is fleeting and shallow before it. Love someone or something and when it's returned you will live in bliss for the rest of your days.
Felicienne Ta'Igris “Give not thyself up, then, to fire, lest it invert thee, deaden thee, as for the time it did me. There is a wisdom that is woe; but there is a woe that is madness.”
Madryk Crownshield: 'alf-orc, ye faater be cryin loike an old woman rioght before I gutted im
I agonize over a decision I know is right in my heart. Images flooding my mind of times past. Happy times, dourful times and all those in between. All of them memorable, shaping who I was, who I am. Tormenting my mind, half awake. I've not slept much in the past few days and when I'm about among others I'm all nerves feeling naked amongst a crowd. Most of all overwhelmed by guilt. I've turned to others who have made me happy, looking over me, assisting in my times of need. Who am I without her? I cannot recall, I don't want to. Those times are dark, torturous and I've already forgiven myself, mostly.
She is a godsend, coming along at the right time. We are so different in many ways but share much in common. She is my lighthouse as I navigate in the dark, looking after me for things that may harm and I for she. I think of her often, when she is away. Warm happy thoughts, daydreaming of future days. Thinking of ways how I can make her happy as she does me. As I think of her I am at peace and I sleep longer each day, but the guilt.... it remains.
Felicienne Ta'Igris “Give not thyself up, then, to fire, lest it invert thee, deaden thee, as for the time it did me. There is a wisdom that is woe; but there is a woe that is madness.”
Madryk Crownshield: 'alf-orc, ye faater be cryin loike an old woman rioght before I gutted im
The currents of the heart lead to strange places and I move along with it helplessly, struggling naught against it. Drowning in happiness. I've mentioned my first husband Clint often, after meeting he, knowing he, loving he. His interests quickly became mine, his hobbies shared, thoughts akin. Daddies little Felicia slowly fading to nothingness none of her impressed upon Clint until only Mister and Miss Clint Ta'Igris remained. Perhaps that's why it was so difficult, such a struggle to let go. He was in me, but nothing of me within him.
After him, i go running to my goddess for direction and support and my elder sister priest. My love for her rivaled Clint, though she did not move me. I loved her as a sister and she taught me how to grieve and how to overcome be a sensualite as she was. I'd not noticed, but Miss Clint Ta'Igris quickly faded away into Olivia's little sister. Looking up to her, emulating her, akin to some small child copying, idolizing, her older sister.
Then the dagger of bhaal. A tortuously despairing cost for my freedom from myself. It forced me to be alone, to think, a constant struggle wagged within the mind. But such things are short lived when self worth dissolves and depression follows like a dark cloud. The only friend that remains.
Then a hero did appear, my hero, Myron. He was happy, exciting, social everything I was not. He mad me feel things I'd not in years, always being their when I was very sad lightening the mood with a quick joke or simply holding me in his arms as I sobbed the night away. Hating who and what I was, i did readily become Ms. Myron Silverstone until I realized I could not be with him anylonger. I did not love him, but he was enthralled with me, or more likely he was in love with himself as vain as he was.
My third husband, married for merely months, I sailed to be with he. Rest his soul. I'd gone anywhere he would have. Since then I've been even more guarded, yet still my lovers have tended to pave my path as I follow along, willingly.
Now there is she, of beauty beyond compare, the more I become aquainted the more I see her face when I close my eyes. I find myself ebbing and it terrifies me as my heart is unwilling to guard itself against it. Will I lose myself once again?
Felicienne Ta'Igris “Give not thyself up, then, to fire, lest it invert thee, deaden thee, as for the time it did me. There is a wisdom that is woe; but there is a woe that is madness.”
Madryk Crownshield: 'alf-orc, ye faater be cryin loike an old woman rioght before I gutted im
Weird eh? )). Ever since I left festhall, I always figured myself a tragic end, trying to enjoy the moment the best I could until someone put an end to my miserable existence. Of course things had been looking up a bit for some time now, but I never did truely believe any other fate for me, after all, I deserve no less. The near future may look bleak now, but I am far better off then I was not long ago. A much stronger person then I'd ever been, had that accursed dagger not laid into my hands so long ago. 
