Zorn's Observations and Adventures

[Zorn]

1350, Flamerule, or Summertide, whichever you prefer, Day 19

It's hot. Too hot. Beads of sweat trickled down my neck today as I HUNTED bear in the forests. The coast is far too humid during this time of the year. Even beneath the shade of the tallest trees I felt no mercy from hot weather and its wickedness!

And yes! I did underline and capitalize the word HUNT(ED)!

Yes. I went HUNTING, and I do ever so much emphasize the word HUNT. Many times have I taken a rest at the Friendly Arm Inn and heard a fellow say "I went hunting Goblin today in the mines" or "I slew all the Lizardmen in this swamp. It was a grand hunt!" Absurd. That's what I call genocide, slaughter, MURDER. Something a Bhaalite would definitely strive for. Yet, they claim they're clearing the forests and caverns in the name of Lathander, or Helm, or whatever other deity they serve. Honestly, if you go into one's home and slaughter all the creatures, it is clearly murder in one of the most darkest of forms! I honestly wonder how clueless some of these priests and paladins really are!

Alas, a druid did argue with me that I was actually murdering the creatures there. But they're animals. Not humanoid at all, nor pets or loyal dogs. And I didn't kill all the bears. Maybe the druid should have accused me of poaching? Maybe? But I don't think old mystical and horrifying Thalantyr minds that I hunt around High Hedge. He does own that land. . .Right?

Actually, the point of my hunting was to prepare my latest and greatest stew. Let us simply call it Dire Bear Stew for the recipe itself is rather simple and anyone can try it. I'll have to produce a recipe book and insert this particular find in it for future reference.

You just need a few ingredients, really: the biggest and toughest bear meat you can get your hands on, Bloodpurge, Honey, Drace (cooked or boiled first and then added, of course) and a cauldron full of water. You just need to mix them all together essentially and you'll produce the most amazing, sweetest, detoxifying bear stew that you have ever tasted!

Ho! Let all the druids wince and curse! I, Zorn, shall spread the news of my culinary discovery and all those who delve into the world of gastronomy shall praise my name! May the scribes of Oghma forever record my future recipes and discoveries! (Insert victory laugh here!)

I may still hunt a few bear and let Maurice or Ralston taste my new bear brew. But by Harptos! This time of the year is ridiculously hot! I myself may melt into a stew!

On a final note. . . I remember two odd years ago there was a scorpion infestation around old High Hedge and beregost. Did the bears take over? The natural world is far too confusing and I had better let the druids worry on it.

[Zorn]

1350, Eleasis, or Highsun, whichever you prefer, Day 04


The heat hasn't let up in the least. But at least the coast offers the comfort of random rain showers from time to time. Still, I despise the humidity.

Since the last time I wrote I've had the opportunity to make that four to five day trek back to the Friendly Arm Inn. The place is always booming with activity but luckily I was able to earn a well required rest. Like always, the adventurers grouped in masses outside the walls. Always outside the walls for some reason! I tend to avoid that little fire hole that some of the local adventurers gather around. In my opinion half of them that gather there are nothing but lunatics and barbarians!

In any case, I received a letter from one of my "associates" (Unfortunately this time it was not from Ralston or anyone else of importance) whilst I was resting at the inn. They still haven't forgotten about that little errand I'm supposed to run for that rather large and imposing friend of a friend of my current, lets us simply call him, boss. So of course, as soon as I received news of my task that I have failed to yet complete, I set out right away.

So I set out to seek a certain dragon that I had promised to find. I suppose from now on I will use my journal here to log entries on my progress.

I think it was the second or third day after leaving the Friendly Arm Inn when I came across some thugs, brigands, or whatever they were. They were all gallivanting along the Trade Way, seemingly half drunk. One fellow was even dancing! With mirth I watched and overheard a conversation that I found rather interesting. Apparently, the group had been sailing some way west of Candlekeep when they had caught sight of a dragon, or a wyrm of some sort.

I didn't feel like the lads were bluffing, so I immediately changed course and backtracked at least three miles and headed west to Candlekeep. When I did eventually reach that library fortress evening had set in and I stayed a night at the sweet little inn there within the walls. The breakfast wasn't bad either. But anyway, nobody had heard anything of dragons or wyrms in the area, or if they had it was some time ago.

So the next best thing I did, after also question Rico at the front gate, was investigate the surrounding area. Going out to sea for my little search seemed rather foolhardy and reckless. I've also been wary of pirates since Kalma Hellstorm denied Ralston and I, as well as a group of elves access to his ship. (Oh! But do I ever remember a very special Elf sorcerer completely obliterating the crew and their ship! How Kalma survived , I know not, but only by Tymora's luck was I denied access to that brig on that day! What a great memory!)

I always get off track when I write!

Basically, I followed the coastline. There are some mighty cliffs surrounding Candlekeep, and I had no desire to climb down and scale them after. I did find a path north of the library though. And it let to a cave! At first I thought that this cavern must be the wyrms lair. I'd seek the beast out first and then call for reinforcements once I staked out its position. I was quite excited, to say the least.

But no. No wyrm, dragon, sea serpent, wyvern... not even a snake! There was nothing in those caves. Nothing but nasty, stinky, and putrid trolls! Bane's Rear End! I hate the creatures. They smell bad, they're completely idiotic, and they cannot enunciate anything clearly! But I had travelled all this way, and I was not going to simply waltz on out of there without searching the dank caverns first.

And may I comment on how stupid they truly are! They could have easily outnumbered me and had great advantages if they could figure out how to use the cavern ways to their advantage, but no. They came at me, one by one. Sometimes two. But never three. It was easy to avoid their long and slow reach and the fire from my enchanted weaponry made mincemeat out of their icky hides. It was to say, not very challenging.

All in all, there were no dragons at all. I guess even most dragons wouldn't want to affiliate with a group of creatures like trolls. I do not blame anyone for not wanting to. Not in the least. Needless to say, the little adventure in that cavern was short lived, and now I am in serious need of a bath.

I suppose I should mention that sword I found as well. I yanked it out of the ugliest troll down there in those caves. It's enchanted, that much I can say. But despite all the lore and knowledge I have on magical gear I wasn't able to tell what it was! Maybe I should ask Maurice the next time we meet. Or maybe not. He's got nothing up in that thick skull of his. Ha!