One Duty may have been fulfilled, but many have just began

[Hoihe]

((First journal))

A new book, one Hoihe owned for a long time now. Despite its age, it looks pristine, well guardian. At the corner of the corner from inside, which is bound in expensive leather, the name "May you put it to good use - Kulup" reads in elven script. Furthermore, an Uroboros is drawn above it


"Love,

Unity,

Kinship,

Friendship,

Trust,

Knowledge,

Cycle"


Read the first page of the book in elven, each spaced far from each and with calligraphic letters. At the bottom of the page:

"Amarathine, you will live on forever with us. May you enjoy Arvandor, and come back to the Prime once ready. Should you wish to return now, to this cycle's representation of you, then may Sehanine guide your soul back. But should you need rest, and you deserve it, may she guide you safe to Arvandor, even if you were faithless these last few centuries. The gods understand your circumstances... cousin."


Beneath the Uroboros, the following is scrived:


"Life is series of mysteries whose secrets are
veiled by the Luminous Cloud. As the spirit transcends
its mortal bounds and new mysteries are uncovered, a
higher form is achieved and the cycle of life continues.
Through contemplation and meditation, communion
with the Lady of Dreams is achieved.

Through dreams, visions, and omens
revealed in sleep or the reverie, the Daughter of the
Night Sky unveils the next step along the path and the
next destination on the endless journey of mystic
wonder that is life and death and life. Revere the
mysterious moon, who draws forth tides or being from
us all. "

[Hoihe]

Sitting in his hammock, Hoihe's eyes wander around the infirmary. With the bandages still covering his ears, still mercifully allowing him to only have to put up with smoother skin and sharper sight, a sight that can see better even than an elf's, he holds the new journal in his hands. Despite its previous condition, its second page is now stained with tears and ink.

"So this is what the dream feels like, the victory we longed for.

I don't know. On one hand, I have achieved what I wanted. We all did. Although Amaranthine is no longer suffering from the worst thing that can happen to an elf, the imprisonment of soul and self, it left a gaping hole in all of us, her passing.

I can only hope now everything was not for naught, and she is allowed in Arvandor or whichever god's realm she worshipped before becoming Rain. despite her long years as faithless. If only I knew. All I have as evidence of such is her words, the last words she uttered burned into my brain memory, her words of freedom; what Daltry told Mealir and I; knowledge that what I tried was successful.

I have became an elf, although from my observations, I still appear to retain human traits. My eyes for one. It became brown, like it had used to before that failed magical experiment of mine years ago. Although it is clearly wider set, more almond shaped than a human's, it still doesn't match the tilt and width of a pure-blooded moon elf's. I am yet to see my ears, fearing the shock of all the new sounds, but I can feel its length, its shape. It has certainly got a length and tip to it, as I feel it through the bandage, but I can also feel the outline of a human ear at the bottom. At the top an elf, at the bottom a human, it seems. There may be other human traits, but I can work with the current ones I think. I believe, given some make up, some proper behavior, I could pass as a full-blooded elf. At least I hope so.

It appears 'Rain will be with us forever' will be truer for me than the rest. I don't know how to put this into words, but I can understand her better now. It is not because of us being closer in race, though. I just know. I know why she acted in certain ways, and I find myself agreeing to some of her actions I have formerly scorned. I am lost. So much new knowledge, this new perspective of the world. Daltry warned me of this, of morality becoming ambiguous after such an intense mix of magical effects. Left to my own devices, I know not where I will end up. Sehanine willing, though, I will become her model worshipper, with help of faith and others.

There are other things that have changed. It seems I have lost the gift of magic as I knew it. Rather than being able to call upon the Weave, force it to do my bidding through my sheer willpower and ability, I don't know what I can do. In my lonesome, as Soora was having a reverie, I experimented in the infirmary. Every spell I tried to cast failed. It felt wrong to me, I don't know how. However, one spell... appeared to succeed. Shadow Shield, I believe. When I tried to cast it, shadows gathered as I remembered. However, instead of shielding me, they concealed me. I don't yet know what happened exactly, but it seems I retained at least some of my magical ability.

It also appears I have been bestowed an extensive understanding of magical devices after using the Flute. I tried reading divine scrolls - no problem! I can read druidic, divine, arcane - both bardic and wizardly - scrolls without an issue. They feel insignificant, obvious, plain. Only the most powerful of my scrolls give me pause. I guess, I did not lose my affinity for magic, only that of draconic kind. Maybe I can relearn it, with time, using knowledge I have come to understand thanks to the Flute.

Speaking of draconic things. I am afraid. To the common reader, it may not feel like a surprise after such an ordeal, but those who know me, will understand. When my transformation began - I was truly afraid, frightened. Not even the Darkness could scare me so much as it created the mental image of me being ripped to shreds, not even staring down the matron could scare me, not even a great wyrm could scare me like I was scared at that moment. Like I am scared now. It is very strange, to feel an emotion you had lived without for so long. I was afraid, yes, of loss, of failure, but never experienced real fear that paralyzes one's being like I felt then, like I continue to feel even now. It is strange and, forgive my redundancy, fearsome.

I am also cold. I always dressed light, for I didn't need to care for cold. But now, in this new body, my bones are easily chilled. Luckily, the sun rose, but the harbour at night was certainly very cold. Maybe I will get used to it, and be able to withstand it like before. However, for now, I must wrap myself tight in my cloak when wandering cold lands, if I hope to avoid hypothermia.

Loss of magic as I knew it. Loss of my ability to ignore fear as others know it. Feeling cold, and not feeling the fire of cold in my heart and lungs. These point me to one thing, one dreadful thing only. I may have continued my father's line, but it appears I did not of Sarah's line. Of the Ornternjes line. I am not sure if I still retain some drops of silver blood, or have I become a moon elf with human traits, or half-elf as less welcoming kin will greet me as, with no blood of dragons in my veins, I am yet to learn.

I am yet to learn so much. I must learn to live like an elf. I am sure Corellon, Sehanine and the rest of the Seldarine have a reason for not allowing me to get rid of all my human traits. Perhaps, to ensure I keep my oath to Amaranthine? However much I sought to rid myself of human behaviour in the time before, I still retained some due to my form and the expectations of society. Now, I can begin my proper assimilation into elven culture without that many bats of an eye. Perhaps, after I have learned what I must, what I need to keep my promise to Amaranthine, I will be given the chance to get rid of what human is left in me. Perhaps.

But even now, I am sure I will live long enough to not hurt Soora. At last. I no longer have to fear of hurting her by being close to her. And that wish she mentioned some time ago, what all women dream of. Should she desire such, I won't have to fear dooming a poor soul to the fate I existed in myself, the fate of not belonging anywhere. Although I am a moon elf with human traits even now, I at least know where I belong, where I want to belong. But one born such will have many years of confusion and difficult upbringing.

Ah yes. It feels great. It feels strange. it feels right. It feels frightening to finally have put my human-traits to minority. Finally, by all counts, I am not a human. Yes, I have human traits, but the sheer amount of elven traits I have make me impossible to classify as one. And for that, I am glad. I did not wish to become something other than human out of arrogance, out of greed. At least, I think that was not my reasons. I wished for unity that other races had, that humanity lacked. The Uniformity, the kinship. And my own feeling of being lost, always wandering. Now I feel sort of right, I feel as if I found home. It still requires lots of work but, I will not shy away from work.

So many words I fear to put to paper, fearing they would be underwhelming, not give respect to the sacrifices of the crew. So many words I dread to utter, fearing I speak of something that may be counted as dissatisfied. I am not. If what Daltry said was true, it was Rain's choice to find rest at long last. However, words alone cannot account for all. A poem, perhaps. A Dance, maybe? Or a song, accompanied by lute. Or all of them. I must decide.

But nothing, only action can express the feeling one experiences when their dream comes true, when they see history about to repeat itself to the letter - and destroy history, change it and strike a new path, a bright future. Ar'ri Lepaith, I still miss you dearly, but as I have once said in my prayer years ago, one must move on. Perhaps, one day, we will meet again as friends, alongside Amaranthine. Soora, it seems the gods who govern our fate have made a decision I will never be able to refund, to show my infinite appreciation. Let us go, arm in arm, hand in hand, back-to-back, face to face and with a newfound strength, down this new road that leads to an unknown, but as the omens dictate, bright future.

A Dacino's duty never ends."

Hidden: show

[Hoihe]

Hoihe sits down at the depths of the ship, staring at his changed face in a mirror with a child's curiousity and wonder. His ears are now unbound, and he makes sure to appreciate the shape and form of the stereotypical elven trait, now naturally and organically a part of his being. But he doesn't spend all time inactive, for he takes a quill in his left hand and continues to scribble in the new book.

"That moment when you realize that the world around you is more than you perceived, more than you can perceive, and possibly more than the immortal, immemorial beings can perceive, is a terrifying and wondrous one. I have experienced it, and experience it all the time now, as my new senses reveal to me unknown wonders which I was ignorant of each passing minute.

I kind of expected this, but couldn't prepare. There was no way to prepare for such. Mere magical aid for senses carries the stigma of being magical - that you see due to magic. Training your senses lets you see the transition, forget about the contrast unless you focus on it. It's a shock. It is wonderful. It is frightening. To think that there may be more to this world than I could ever hope to understand, to experience spoils my spirit.

However, when I think of such, I cannot help but remember the fools who had called out to another, and madness answered. I cannot help but remember the infamous Codex Anathema written by the mad Iphegor. I cannot help but remember similar works as well. I cannot help but notice how they all carry madness and chaos in them. Perhaps, it is merciful that we cannot perceive it all, after all, from what I've found... even the immortal minds will break from the overwhelming knowledge.

It makes me wonder the true motivations as to why I retained my human traits. To think, even with imperfect vision and ears, I am so overwhelmed, what would have happened if they were pure? Is it possible Sehanine and Corellon decided so that I may grow used to these feelings, learn what it is to be a proper elf, then show me the way to purify my blood?

Possible. It is also possible the Seldarine wishes to ensure I keep my promise to Amaranthine, as I have written before, and learn to be a proper moon elf. It is also possible it's a combination of many, many different factors.

Time will tell, I believe. I have many years to learn, so I needn't hurry. At least a century and half, if not more due to the flute and the peculiar nature of my transformation. And who know if a wonder will follow in a century.

But I shouldn't think so ahead of time, it is better to live in the present. Live, revel and enjoy life for what it is. Now that I have the elven blood, now that I can act like an elf without people giving me strange looks, save for a few sun elves (mostly, I have found moon and wood elves of similar opinion as well) who also scorn Laitae and other more extroverted new-cousins of mine.

I must admit it is difficult to enjoy without Amaranthine though. I know that it was her choice, and hopefully she ventured to Arvandor or wherever she preferred, and will continue the cycle of the eternal wonder, I still come to miss her grumbling criticism. She may have been cruel, at times even crazy, to the point, harsh, but she had her reasons, and not all of them were selfish. She wished the best for Soora when she put her through that agonizing poison-resistance training, she wished the best for me when she pointed out my faults.

Sehanine, if only I knew she was safe. But I will swear upon my duty, I will make her proud, even if not of my actions, of my behavior as one of the People, even if with some human left in me. It is the least I can do, to keep my promise.

[Hoihe]

Sitting once more in his Workshop, Hoihe scribbles on yet another page:

"It is amazing how much I must have changed, or how incredible this was. So incredible, in fact, that the very word, broken up, describes it.

What am I trying to get across? People believing me. Had quite the encounter yesterday with Nëa and even now I am confused how it all ended up like that. But to recount it, I guess I can try.

I got curious. I wanted to wander about town during the night to experience it anew. As I did so, I came across Nëa duelling the local bard at the East square, mandolin versus mandolin. As expected, she did not recognize me but I stayed to listen. It was quite hilarious.

Eventually she up and left and I followed. Even after I spoke, she didn't recognize me. I pressed the matter and at the end, she thought I was a creep. She became quite protective when she heard I was headed for the Wanderess, for Soora.

In the end, I was chased out of town, around the farmlands and into the sewers where I was held at sword point. I am not sure what came over me, but I could barely contain an anger towards her inability to believe my words, almost making me want to punch her. I wasn't so impatient before with ignorance. I wonder if It is something I inherited.

But I stayed my hand and calm. I got kidnapped as a reward. I don't know how much time passed as I sat in the White Mask theater but at last Soora confirmed my story and suffice to say, Nëa still had difficulties believing it.

It is both frightening and amazing. It is both an annoying fact and an useful one. For one, I do not really have to worry about explaining who I am to strangers, allowing me to assimilate into society without a background they might find offensive. But on the other hand, I will have trouble convincing old friends that it is I, Hoihe, and not some assassin or impostor or an insane half-elf. Luckily, the more I will convince, the easier it will be as the more easily my word can be backed up. For now, Soora and Mealir shall be my helpers. And I guess, i don't mind relying on Soora for such, all the more reason to travel together.

Speaking of frightening things. How long I will live. Even if I do not live longer than a half-elf due to the flute, even if I will not become a pure-blooded moon elf in this lifetime, I will still live at least a century and half. Long enough time for my human friends to die. Long enough for my new human friends to die. I confided in Soora and she offered me help with such, kind words, reassurances. I will certainly need the help of other, more experienced... kin. Should I have to face this alone, I am sure I will go insane. Thank you Hanali, for guaranteeing me one bastion to retire to.

I expected this to be difficult. However, I did not imagine all the little things. My ears, something often associated with elven kind, pure or half, amongst them. I do not speak of the sound today. I have grown as used to it as one can in such a little time. I speak about clothing. More specially, my hats. I found that hats fit for human ears are irritating with my own ears, and it doesn't help they have quite the vertical length rather than pure horizontal. Luckily, or unfortunately, Nëa gave me a hand and re-fit them for my new head. However, not without some vengeance. They are pink. And have flowers in them.

What else will I encounter, I dread to guess.

P.S: it seems I can manage something akin to spellcasting without actual spellcasting
P.P.S: It also seems I found a reason for being able to see in pitch black. That being my apparent passage into the ranks of shadowdancers. How? I have no idea.

[Hoihe]

"Somethings elven, I did better as a human.

I'm talking about wielding the elven longsword. Although the blade is balanced so well, that even with my comparatively non-existent muscles I can wield and fight with it against common foes, I lack the same grace with it as before. Although the rapier feels heavier, I can at least move it with without having to fight as much momentum as with the longsword.

And so, it seems, I will have to take after the other weapon associated with elves, the Rapier. Unfortunately, as I found from a bandit when i traveled the farmlands, I can't really do much damage upright with the thin point, despite the sturdier design of my rapier, nor am I fast enough with one hand to manage blocking and attacking so swiftly as before.

It seems, as much as I hate to admit it, I need a shield. Or better, something that can serve as a shield and a weapon. A dagger or short sword. I used to practice this style of combat before, for the sake of training my abilities with it, and now it seems I will have to practice it for the sake of defending myself.

Lucky for me, I seem to have much better control over my movements than before. I have a much better idea what my limbs are doing - and I already had a much better idea than the common man. So much, that I cannot say if I retained my previous left-handedness. I can write and fight just as well with my right and left hand. Quite handy. Having two weapons means I can attack without having to spend time blocking with said weapon - I have another taking care of it. Nor am I limited in movement, unlike with a shield, nor in utility.

P.S: I never thought just how... alerting... some sounds are when shooting in the dark.
P.P.S: Besaelim. I am going to go by this name until Soora or someone else decides on an elven name I can use so that I don't reveal my past to random strangers. I've chosen this name as it's synonymous for Dacino's Duty, almost.

[Hoihe]

Hoihe sits outside Erevan's Jest, his journal in his lap, and looks about in the moonlit night before taking the quill to the paper.

"Home. That single word would be the one that best describes my last few days, in more ways than physically.

Allow me to start with the definition of belonging, further on - kinship. I do not know how to describe just how thrilled I am everytime I am called Cousin by an elf or half-elf. It is exhilirating, fulfilling - awesome! I understand sometimes it may not be sincere, and some elves have strayed - quite many on the Sword Coast unfortunately - but there still is this feeling of belonging somewhere that is loose, yet tightly knit.

However, I have troubles connecting with old friends. Some recognized me from a single glance, others needed secrets we shared or an item that was entrusted to me - others still not believing me. I do not blame them, for it truly is a tale that is above incredible. However, I've managed to convince most I have met so far, save for Laya. She insists I get divine proof - and divine proof I will get once I can speak with Sayiel.

Soora stands strong by my side however, treating me no less than she treated me before, and I may judge wrongly, but she might be more comfortable around me now. She certainly seems quite excited to show me things! Just so I do not forget, I am to properly dine with her, sharing an Evermead and dance, as thanks for her help with saving the Wanderess from that Galleon.

But closely related is Doron Amar. I am seeking to join it. I find it funny, as I have wanted to attempt such when I first heard of it - although to join the Arcane Academy and not the village proper. I believe I have all three signatures I need, although Catam is yet to make his mark I am told.

Diana Vol, the new Head councilor, granted me a signature without knowing of my exploits before, not recognizing me from the few times we've met before or as the Reader Teo sometimes mentioned, treating me as but a half-elf or elf seeking to join. A day later I sought her out and told her the truth behind my identity and Seldarine be praised - she kept the signature she promised where it stays, commenting that I am not alone when it comes to backgrounds where one was not truly a kin.

Celasorsan Longfeather, old friend, granted me his signature once I convinced him of my identity. I havn't spoken much with him, but I must do so. I am sure he has questions aplenty! And by Sehanine, he is massive. I feel small near him. Not the best kind of feeling.

Catam, another friend of yore, recognized me after he heard my name spoken by Diana. Out of respect and other reasons, he promised me his signature.

Laya is currently opposing my joining, but only on grounds of Doron having to wait for Sayiel to confirm my identity - then she will lift her stance.

Sayiel, I'm going to stay in Doron Amar until I run into her.

I am growing more and more used to my new senses and body, but it will take time until I am more comfortable. Every day, I continue to learn more and more. Due to all the fighting I ended up in, I managed to find a better sense of balance.

Speaking of fighting! Not but hours after I vouched for my first signature - Doron Amar was attacked by mercenaries! We fought them off, and in this time of need, I managed to have my skills do an impact. My fears of not being able to fulfill my Duty are kind of fading, as I still stand a fighting chance!

However, even with all these joys abound, I still have worries crawling at the back of my mind. No hour passes without me dedicating a few minutes to thinking about Amerenthine. Although when I am with Soora, my mind becomes focused on her, or when I am with people, it is less prominient, but when alone - I cannot help but feel doubt. I fear for her fate, and can't help but offer tearful prayers to Sehanine to ensure she gets to Arvandor - and for a sign of us taking the right choice freeing her soul.

I fear telling others of this worry, so as to not sour their mood. Maybe it will pass with time, maybe as she did before, Sehanine will soothe my troubled being with guideance. I can only hope. But Rain, Ameranthine - old friend... I miss you dearly.

I guess a Dacino's Duty never truly ends, does it? But at least now I have a family and soon - somewhere I can call home. Although, I believe my true home will still be beneath the stars, or around those closest to my heart. Luckily, many of those closest to my heart - especially she who is so close to my heart that she keeps it going - are of my new home to be."

[Hoihe]

Still unable to get himself over the conversation of last night, Hoihe sits in the library of the Arcane Tower, after having spent hours out at the temple praying.

"Despite all accepting me, I was made to feel stranger.

Despite the one who love returning it, I still feel mostly alone.

Despite finding home, being called kin... once again I feel I belong nowhere.

Despite having called her friend, she calls me not anymore.

I cannot understand why Laitae, of all people, had to be the first who rejected the legitimacy of me being a half-elf.

Although just one person rejected my legitimacy, I still feel as if hundreds did. Perhaps it is because it came from one whom I knew as long as I have started a new life on the Coast.

Perhaps because it came from one whom I had looked up to as an ideal to achieve as an elf.

Perhaps because it came from one who had been willing to look past what one was born as and treat them as they wished to be treated.

Perhaps because she refuses something so simple as to understand why I wanted so, instead blaming me for taking and not being born as one.

Why must I lose all my longest friends? Why must have Rain died, and Laitae twist a dagger in my heart? Will I also lose Mealir, Laya?

They are the only ones left from when I have arrived, the ones who were there all along.

Thomas still lives, I think, but we are more of an acquaintances than real friends.

I've lost magic. I've lost Rain. I've lost my height, my muscles. I've lost my dragon blood. Am I to also lose Laitae? For what reason must I lose her?

Oh Hanali, at least guarantee She remains. Should she also fall, I will see no more reason to live.

I feel sorry for Soora, having to deal with the emotional wreck I sometimes am. But at least, she is true and supportive. She will stay by my side through fire and steel. Through time and decay.

Perhaps, I should try and see what good happened since then... The elves, at least some, of Doron Amar accepted me as theirs. Soora accepted me as kin as well (and much, much more). Mendel accepted me as cousin. Elenaele welcomed me to the elvenkind. Ameris congratulated me. Nëa, although she wanted to kill me at first to protect Soora, accepts me as well as far I know. Ivan? I don't know. And Elaria, she's happy for me.

I wish Soora was right beside me now. I could use some support. But perhaps it's for the best, so that I strengthen a bit before meeting with her again - as to not saddle her with all my emotional baggage. But I promised her to be open with my fears and worries.

Ah Corellon, how much it hurts to have but one person destabilize feeling your child. Just one person was enough to wreck my mood. I knew some, if not many will reject my legitimacy, but I did not expect it to be she of all people."

And having written the journal entry, he proceeded to read a book of songs and poetry then retired to continue his prayers, with tears still making their presence known.

[Hoihe]

Having slightly gotten himself better, Hoihe returns to the library of the Arcane Tower to write a new entry, a rather rambling one.

"Why is it so difficult for her to understand I cannot go forever unappreciated?

As long as I didn't do anything that would directly benefit me, she did not really complain.

She complained when I dabbled in blood magic - then she was right and I strayed from it with some effort, seeking even divine help to block the knowledge.

She complained when I used magic for my own goals - saying I was wasteful. I deserve some rest after all I do.

But she's not the only one not appreciating my work. I wonder at times why I risk my life for people I did not swear to protect, after all - it's all for naught. Poor peasants whom I grant wealth soon turn sour and exploit their former friends. Bandits I spare and give gold spend it on weapons instead of starting a new life, a proper one. Orcs I do not slay in the forest as I pass attack travelers, despite me warning them quietly not to.

People humor me. Other than Soora and some other people I know directly, gratitude is rarely shown honestly. Even if I saved their life. In Candlekeep when I bring up my subjects of research, Teo and the rest most likely just humor me just like Laitae. Perhaps it would be for the best indeed if I lose access to the library. At least I wouldn't be responsible for the mess some avowed bring upon the Keep.

I'm feeling I should just not care anymore and live life for myself, keeping to my Duty and nothing else. If people don't care for what I do, or for me at all , why should I?

By Sehanine... how much pain a few words can give one.."

[Hoihe]

Sitting by Sehanine's banner, beneath her representative in form of Selune, Hoihe makes an entry. Looking not much better for wear since the raid, he still works to jot down his thoughts.

"I can barely feel my limbs, much less my fingers, but I shall try and make this entry.

I nearly paid with my life to rescue people I did not swear to protect. I rescued Catam, who I swore to protect and is a friend. I rescued Elvina, whom I hadn't, but she's still a friend. And I rescued one of Elvina's brother-in-arms, whose name I do not even remember.

Why have I done it, I wonder? Elvina and Catam make sense, but that brother of hers? I had no obligation to help, yet I did. I was already straining with my friends, yet I took someone who I didn't even know about on my back as well, risking being spotted in my escape.

Yet I still feel apathy. However, my reflections tell me - and my promise to Soora as well - that apathy is not who I am. Should I refuse to help people, merely out of them being out of my Duty, I would be someone else than Soora and others came to know and enjoy the company of. Even if I couldn't care less for the lives of some people, I'm obligated to help them for that is who I was, and I cannot let myself change simply because I had a bad turn, simply because I lost a friend.

If I let myself become unlike who I gained reputation for, if I let myself become unlike the person who was considered kin even before he was, I will not be Hoihe Dacino. And I will have no chance of reconciliation with Laitae. I can only hope for her to accept me as brother, as I look to her as sister, as I looked to her as an idol, if I acted the way I had always did, the way she had, even if miniscule respect for.

If I let myself change I will break my promise to Soora, and that would require me to commit suicide. For not only would I break one Duty, but many. And I would break my heart as well, for I would hurt her.

It is difficult to remain as I was, but I must do my best.

No longer do I have the call of silver to temper my mithral and steel with mercy. No longer do I have my infinite daring that my dragon blood and training bestowed me.

To make it worse, I now have a cynicism about tempering steel with mercy. I now have cynicism about the lives of my foes. I now, I now have found enjoyment in the death of those who opposed me and threatened me - and those I belong to, friends or kin.

I cannot allow myself to find joy in such, yet I still do. To find joy in taking life. I used to be reluctant about such, I used to utter a prayer, even if a word or two, for every soul I sent to its home, even if but with my mind's voice. I used to take life in the swiftest, least painful, most merciful way I could. Now, in my anger, I killed an orc slowly, taking him head on and stabbing him where it hurts more than it kills.

I cannot let this continue. I must strive to temper my steel with mercy - for Soora was impressed with the lengths I went to in order to avoid taking life unnecessarily. I must strive to force myself to agree with the notion that sometimes one has to travel a difficult path to achieve the least damaging outcome.

I must act as my goddess and the Seldarine approve of. The Seldarine is not Hoar, nor the triumvirate of death. They are merciful, they bestow gifts upon even the lost souls such as I. I must be like Sehanine, and not like Hoar.

I need guidance, that much is plain. The texts within the library of Doron Amar distract my mind from the joy I found in destruction - and replace it with the joy I find in creation and art. Praying to Sehanine lets me reflect, an aritfical reverie of sorts. It relaxes me and cleanses my mind of worry. For my goddess I reflect on the events between my two prayers and strive to draw a lesson to report to her. In return I am given guidance, shown a path, either as stars or less obviously. I have Soora - who shall keep me as the person I was. I have friends, who shall remind me to stay as the person I was for Soora. And I have a home now to belong.

I had Candlekeep as a home, but it was different. I have the sky as a home, but it lacks the stability. I have the wanderess as Home, but it often loses its mast. I have Soora's side as Home, which I can ask nothing better of. But when I am not beside Soora, Doron Amar might yet serve as a good fallback. I can see suspicious eyes from those who knew me from before and I understand. But I am not stigmatized nor rejected - meaning I have a chance to prove myself as a true half-elf, maybe even as an elf.

And some look up to me so much, see such a promise as to suggest I ride for the status of Councilor. But I had to reject him, for I am too young for such a task. I am too inexperienced for such a task. I am too... under-educated for such a task. And I couldn't handle such a responsibility right now. My own emotions, perceptions, mere existance take up all my concerns now. I couldn't responsibly care for a village this way. And I couldn't handle responsibility either due to stress. I need a break from the constant rush, rush, rush.

I want to revel, dance and laugh (but not with fey threatening to steal my hair. My hair is a mark of my elven heritage, and I will not give it up.)

I feel the pain of Laitae rejecting me as brother as much as I did before, and will feel it for months, if not years to come unless she changes her mind. But I understand I cannot let it change who I am. I cannot let loss of dragon blood do that. I cannot let having some of Rain's cynicism do it.

Sehanine, I beg of you, hold my hands and guide me like I were a child - for I feel like one in face of this. "

Closing his journal, he stands up to look at the moon once more before returning to the Jest to sleep in soft beds - after having a good, hot bath.

[Hoihe]

Sitting in Doron Amar's library, Hoihe sets down the book on Hanalite rituals and takes out his journal, proceeding to type with a slight sigh.

"It is interesting how simply the mention of something you didn't think about, how something you thought fate will arrange on its own without actions from you can crawl into your head and take over your thoughts entirely. It happened to me and it is both frightening and encouraging.

What if, after all, fate arranged so? Who am I to think fate didn't arrange for it to happen in such a way, so that I am prepared? None the less, the doubt that I may be rushing things creeps upon me. However, I defend myself from such by reminding myself of Saline and Laisren, of Luthien and Elethieneth, of Mealir and Misara, of Celasorsan and Delade, of many others.

But my refuge doesn't entirely depend on the fact that others didn't take decades. After all, one should judge things on himself and those closest to him first, then compare it to the world. My refuge is also composed of the fact that we've been through fire and steel, through ice and hell, through loss and victory; we've been through a lot more than many could experience in centuries; we've been through things that are not of this world. Suffice to say, we stuck out for one another. She remained at my side even as I was inflicted with an illness thought fatal; she remained at my side even as I sought my dream; she remained at my side even after she was stranded on an alien plane for over two decades, her resolve only stronger; she remained at my side when I was human, when my longevity threatened to cut our happiness short.

I further see signs of free passage in her patience for me, be it teaching me the ways of my new People, be it teaching me to live with my keen senses, be it teaching me to dance, be it with my stumbling, worried expression of emotions.

That last though makes me wonder. She had been clearly expecting my admission of Hanali's gift to her, after I told her. Has she also been expecting my move towards us joining officially beneath the Seldarine's watchful, protecting gaze.

By Hanali, I should just approach her about it and ask. However, I cannot waste such a special occassion. I must only mention it when the setting is right, when the mood is right. I have the time to wait, but I am anxious none the less for it to happen!

However, other things have happened other than Sayiel bringing this idea up. Although they seem to pale in comparison, from my perspective at least, they are eqully important to Labelas's records.

For one, the Dacino's duty indeed never ends. Although the rescue of Rain's soul from torment qualifies, alongside the good omen I have received, qualify for the fulfilment of my Duty as I originally swore upon it, my Duty towards my people, it had became something mandatory now, something that is expected of me. I do not mind, I enjoy doing it to be honest.

None the less, what happened was that a moonable was stolen by human mercenaries and its owner began to verge on death. To further the graveness of the issue, these mercenaries threateend my new home, threatened to sack it. Luckily, we have won. The Moonblade is returned and the mercenaries scattered, their leader and headquarters utterly destroyed. I do not mean to brag, but my explosives and alchemy did much for our success. I managed to sneak inside, plant my alchemical concotion near key figures or buildings then sneak outside without notice! Soora will be proud, I am sure. I am also very glad, for my loss of magic does not limit my ability to protect elves.

So that's one more tick, quite a big tick, for my Duty to the People.

I'd write more but truly, the rest seem insignificant in comparison to Hanali and Sehanine at this moment."

[Hoihe]

" I've been thinking.

Sehanine guides my life, or so I beg her.

It was a priestess of Sehanine who raised the question.

That's it, I was blind so far to see it but there is the sign I waited for. "

[Hoihe]

((


Credit: http://www.reddit.com/user/Synergy192
And Anry from http://anry.deviantart.com/art/Piter-Blood-5522600))

[Hoihe]

((Warning - I have written this half-dead and distracted. It is thereby filled with shameful dispurays of grammatical illiteracy.))


Hoihe sits down in his room, lighting a candle out of habit to better bring out the ink on the paper in the mountain-home.

"Soora's left for some supplies and I've a need for rest after looking through my various books and records. It has been some time since I've made note of events in a material way, inside my journal. However, I was rather distracted and always doing something that struck my fancy, forgetting about my trusty companion. It shall be no more, as It is time to strike down some events.

Looking at my journal, it seems I have not recorded the outcome of the question. Well, it went in a satisfying way. Although she expressed the need for more time, she has also expressed, quite strongly, that she does not want to say no and I can live with that. It means that we might as well live as we would if she had said yes, just without ceremony and such. Maybe in a few decades, neither of us are in a hurry anywhere after all!

In fact, our bond has only grown stronger since I popped the question, as we have realized just how similar we have been and are and also realized how little we inquired to the other's past. I did not inquire to her past as I did not mean to dig, remembering back how we started off. And I did not speak much of mine either, as to avoid having things be about me. Although, now we know some and some about one another's past and trade tales whenever we can - either in word or in dance.

If there is something I must jot down, it's how we have practically exchanged places on the battlefield. From magical knight I became an elegant dancer of shadows and just a few days ago, she thought to pick up a shield to better protect me. It was rather endearing, but I must admit it was an amusing sight. That shield was as big as her! And I guess, as me too. I have mostly gotten used to my new size, but I still wind up surprised now and then.

I am still wondering what to design her shield with. Perhaps it will be two dancers beneath a moon and before a moonbow? Maybe two elves chased by an angry mob of dwarves with pigtails? I will show her multiple designs and we'll decide!

Speaking of designs, I have shown her two of my hideouts - one permanent and out of reach and the other a temporary one, known by others and exploited for the same reason as well.

First off was the former headquarters of the Thieves Guild. They have long since abandoned it, but Kel and other rogues have moved in to claim it theirs. After Kel's leaving the area, I took it as my own but make no permanent claims. Likely thing is, it will be claimed again by someone and I have no wish to shed blood or coin for such a hole.

After all, I have mine atop the Cloudpeaks. I also have another one in the Far East, Sarah's former lair in the Earthfasts. Should she and I ever wander that far east, I will show it to her as well. But for the sake of the journal, we are speaking of the one atop the Cloudpeaks.

It's a lair I acquired through draconic right, as I've told her. I have evicted its former inhabitants of yetis and white dragon disciples and claimed it as my own. It was a long work to make it as it is today, but lucky for me, my most trusted apprentice was a dwarf. With his stonework and my woodwork, we turned a rather barbaric hole into this small castle worthy of royalty.

I've revealed Soora the entire way and instructed her how to reach it on her own. Sometimes I wonder if the Aurilites learned, as the way to my mountain-home leads through their temple, but is lost in snow covered rocks. Only when melted at the right point is the passage revealed and only for a few minutes with the constant hail.

I've shown her how to cross the ledge that threatens to slip and loose into a rather sheer drop - something that is made much safer with knowledge of hand holds and knowing when it is safe to cross.

And at last, I've revealed the spot that breaks the ice on the cliff, and the way up that imitates the flight of a dragon.

She has seen one of my greatest achievements too, one that I once more employed aid of my disciples. I am yet to regale her with all the tales, but she knows the gist of how I acquired each of the scales.

But I am pretty sure the insides of my home hearthened her hearts the most. She was most intrigued by my artwork, often asking if the wooden carvings depicted me and my adventures. Sometimes, the answer was yes. Sometimes, the answer was that I captured tales I collected the best I could.

I regaled her the tale behind the engraved shield depicting my first fight against a dragon, back when I was twenty-one, nine years ago. She heard how I struggled back then, with the loss of my magic at the hands of the Samarachian wizard, to hold my own against a creature so mighty as a blue dragon in the deserts of Calimshan. I did not try to embellish, but I am sure it may have come off as such as I described my band made of a few native warriors, dwarves and even elves. We were a good dozen at the beginning and a good dozen at the end, but with countless coins and treasures. I described her how I got a scar on my face as the dragon's claw marred my flesh, pointing out it haunted me until my arrival at the Coast and the local priests' aid.

She also spotted another engraving, as if with an instinct of a troublemaker. It depicted a robed man on fire running into a river beside a great bridge and a bunch of dead bandits not far from him. I regaled her, I think the tenth time now, the tale of the "Burning Wizard of the Wyrm's Crossing.

And then so many other engravings, some we forgot to speak about but I will make up for it when she returns or as we walk and others just too plain to be worthy of mention.

I showed her around, impressing upon her the great amount of room available. There was of course the training hall which we have improvised into a dance hall. With its clean acoustics, whenever we stepped our heels echoed. And then came a rather fancy kitchen upon which I prided myself to her, even taking the time to improvise her some meal I had out of the herbs I had on me, the meat of a bird that passed too near my, now our shared refuge and various spices.

The tour continued with the bedrooms she already became familiar with. I told her who the other two belonged to, as she easily recognized mine from the lavish bookshelves, blackboard in the corner and the most comfortable bed. I guess the general rich quality of the room befitting a noble might have been a very inciting reason for her to pack her belongings there and also change into something more comfortable within from her knightly attire. But I digress. I regaled her my adventures with Kelburn Ironfaar, with Toma, with Iolo, with Andros Dragosyon, with Seth Siger, with Valge and Kifel - the Dragon blooded band questing to complete the monument of Io. I also revealed to her that I was already kin with Luthien before my change, and not due to my sister-in-law but rather our ancient ancestors.

That should summarize my tour. I'm wondering what she's bringing home! I guess my home belongs to her now as much as it does to me. I should make sure to show her the view during the moon. Signs point to a clear sky, so it'd be perfect to sit in awe. It truly is beautiful. I must take her to the Earthfasts one day - the tallest peak is mine without challenge. "

[Hoihe]

"The Stomper, the runner and the graceful dancer

The stomper, the runner and he who dances.
WIth devils, ogres and a sharpened blade to boot,
My latest exploit where I took my chances.

'twas a dark and dank cave, filled with no frill
But certainly, as I walked to face the stomper...
My spirit was lively with thrill

The runner was after me, surely I was tailed,
In a circle he followed, almost catching up
But as the door was slammed on his horns, i bailed


The stomper in wrath, made deadly blades that spun.
As I nimbly danced around them all..
Trying to follow, he stomped into the thousand blades, clearly... I had won!

Hoihe Dacino & Soora Luelles"

[Hoihe]

Hoihe sits beneath a tree, at the moment rather far from the Gate as he goes to scribe into his journal as the dawn rises.

"A year it has been, if my track of time is indeed correct. A curious thing, time. Eversince my change, time felt liquid, not something I can easily track or grasp. Previously it passed at a mostly constant rate, and I could easily track it through just the sheer exchange of the throne that is the sky between Selune and the sun. Now? Entire weeks can pass and I do not notice.

It is not because of forgetfulness, it's just that I do not really feel it the same I felt it as a human. Truly, I am not fully elven, at least not yet and for the foreseeable future, however long that is now, it appears even with some human remaining in my veins, there's sufficient change in me to throw my sense of time amok.

One day I go to dance with Soora, and when I think it was just a day I learn we spent time together for tendays at a time sometimes - dancing, chatting and just doing things together. Even the constant retirements into the Realm of Sehanine, through either my own sleep or by asking Soora to pull me into Reverie do not disturb the flow enough to be noticeable.

It is not even my love for her that forgoes my sense of time, as I lose track of it even as I venture forth into the unknown, to bring the anomolous into the understood. To bring the forgotten into the known. As I experiment with newer and newer substances, doing my best in my laboratory to use mundane materials to mimick my lost arcane powers, time passes at a rate I cannot track.

It's not entirely a bad thing, but I indeed have not gotten used to it even after a year. Just now I learned I spent tendays responding to a letter from the Dukes that I was intending to respond to within a day. Ah well, I hope they do not mind and accept my explanation.

My elven senses were a great shock when I changed, but I truly adapted to them and have now developed a finer use of my ears and eyes than what the average elf or half-elf can profess to. I believe such instinctive features like senses of the mundane and coordination are the easist to adjust to, and senses such as the sense of time and other liquid properties of the world require much longer, for they are the Soul's doing, not just the body's.

Indeed, over the course of the year I've achieved the agility of a cat, as some would say and can almost keep up to Soora no matter the dance we spin. It did come at a cost of my former bulkiness and indeed I am much more fragile and weak - something that pesky white egret loves to point out and try to fix by saddling me with heavier and heavier weights.

Over the course of the year other changes occured than the exponential development between Soora and I, between my naturalisation into being one of Corellon's blood.

Laitae has not changed at all yet, and I believe she still hates me. I must wait longer and longer - but I will wait paitently.

Mealir is still travelling with Misara. I guess our last great voyage has truly taxed him both physically and mentally. This had the curious side effect of the Wanderess being required to assist refugees and it having no captain to sail it.

So after a moment of correspondance with the Captain, I named myself acting Captain, Captain of the Whistling Wanderess only by Courtesy. I made a roll call and assembled a sort of a crew to rescue as many people as we could.

The day did not end there, however, as I was soon requested to defend the Gate itself with the fair Ship of my Crew.

And so we did. More roll calls, new sailors and a reform and refurbishement of certain functions of the crew and we set sail to put an end to Lady Vernossa's machinations.

And I did it. I sailed my first succesful voyage and it was tempered in battle. A fiery battle indeed!

Alone, we the Wanderess faced two ships and two ships we sank! The ship suffered no terrible damage, but my crew did get a number of injuries. Kurt, Isli and Soora. Kurt and Isli were of minor injuries, but Soora's frightened me greatily.

Indeed, I spent all my waking and not so waking time by her side as she recovered, leaving only but for a flash to take care of matters concerning a captain.

After she recovered, I made good of my word and rewarded her valour with a trip to some of the grand regions I found during my duties as a Seeker of Sehanine - a tour from which I write in this fair journal today.

I am going to ask her if we should return to the Gate yet, or if she wishes to keep seeing new lands. I've got plenty - my duties as a Seeker once more brought me to lands stunningly beutiful - sometimes even hauntingly so."