I can't believe this. I have failed again.
I posted myself outside Baldur's Gate. It was a clear and sunny afternoon as I made my way to the side of the road near the cossroad and put up my sign. Again offering protection as a proper helmite would. It was a quiet day indeed. Fewer and fewer travelers were brave enough to come to the city and those who had decide to leave had done so. The sickness, which started to resemble a full blown plague, had been raging in the docks. The whole district had been quarintined now with guards standing every entrance to the harbor. It must be a matter of time before the whole city is afflicted by it, but for now the rest of the Gate seemed to be safe of it.
I leaned against a pole near my sign, deep in my thoughts. The dreams I had been having had puzzled my mind constantly. I was then at sudden awoken from my pondering by a question.
"E..Excuse me sir. I'd like to talk to you about what this sign says."
It was a lady with a little boy. Apparently not of nobility at least, regarding their clothes and demeour. I snapped from my thoughts on the question and looked at them. I forced a fake smile on my face, I have had difficulties with it recently. She politely asked if the sign was true and I could take them to Beregost. They wanted to leave the city to some place safe from the plague, before it would spread further. Apparently they had friends in Beregost and wanted to go there, but of course had no gold to pay for the caravan ride or hire help for the journey. I struggled first at the pleed of this woman. I had not been so keen taking people with me recently. Even now my mind struggled with the images of those people I failed on the Trade Way. I could not say no to the woman and his son. After all the odds were different now and there were only two people instead of six. I agreed and soon after we departured towards Beregost. I was determined to keep my eyes open this time, for the whole damn journey.
We made it through the Coast Way without incident. I spotted some bandits on the distance scouting the road for easy prey. I didn't persue them as I didn't want to leave the woman and her son too long behind me. I saw the outlaws retreat when I scowled towards their lookout. Apparently it was enough this time. We made it safe to the Friendly Arms Inn and had some rest there. The woman, Ayle she was called, was talkitive and chat with his son the whole journey. She tried to ask and talk with me aswell. I use to be talkitive, but now I couldn't say much, or I didn't want to. The whole journey I could not but think something terrible would happen to these two that were under my protection. The thought loomed always on my head when they tried inquire repetitively about my past, what I did and if I had family in the Gate. Luckily she caught soon that I wasn't going to answer, since all she got was grunts or a word or two. We departured towards Beregost after short rest. They wanted to stay longer, but I insisted we moved on. I wanted them safely to Beregost so I didn't have to be resposible for their safety. We left towards the town and to my great relieve, in silence. She didn't aks more questions.
We made it safely towards Beregost the first part of the journey. There were no incidents despite a few oversized and crazed beetles that lurked on the roadsides. When we came to the more dangerous, goblin infested, part of the Trade Way, I told the pair to get close to me and keep their eyes open. Immediatly the pair fearfully came closer and kept their eyes on the bushes and hills rolling by. Just what I wanted. We made only a few miles when I heard something on the bushes nearby. I drew my sword and kept my eyes on the surroundings. I could make up small figures rushing in the bushes, trying to hide from my keen eyes. I gave the pair a glance over shoulder, whispering to them.
"Stay put, I'll deal with these."
The scared pair nodded, looking around them for anything unusual. I approached the bushes condifently with my sword visible. I saw the goblins stopping their movement and hissing between themselves quietly. I shouted at them to come foward. By the gods what a fooI I was!
Immediatly as the goblins realized they were spotted, they stormed. What I hadn't notice was another group had lurked behind us. They must have had followed us a good while. As the ambushers I was engaging stormed, so did the other golbins that had tracked us. The group had sneak up on Ayle and her son Jorl. Moments later as I was busy with the runts daring to challenge me, I took a look over my shoulder to the boy and lady.. All too late. They cried in fear as two goblins growled and rushed at them. Paralyzed by fear they collapse on the road, holding each other, they died to the blades of the greedy golblins. I looked at the dejavu and felt the same feeling as on the road there near the woods of Trollbark. I got angry.. So angry. I brutally killed the remining golbins that attacked me and walked to the few goblins remaining, busy plundering the corpses of Ayle and Jorl. I was so angry I had failed again. I quickly dealth with the cursed goblins and fell on my knees to the dead pair. I lingered there a long moment. It was all quiet around me. Tears started running from eyes. I had failed again. I failed these people and I failed Helm, again.
I gathered myself after a moment of silence and loss. There was nothing unusual around me anymore. We were close to Beregost, so damn close. I knew I could not leave their bodies here on the road, so I picked up their bodies and made my way towards town. I kept my eyes on the ground as I carried the child and the woman. I reached the outskirts of Beregost after few hours. I looked towards the town, I could see the rooftops in the distance. Whatever came of me, I don't know, but I didn't want to enter that town carrying my failure. I heard people coming from the direction of the town. I left them there on the outskirt and walked away.
I was suppose to meet Valdore for a discussion, but I think I cannot show my face around the temple again. I think I will leave him a message instead, that he isn't going to like. Mother, brother.... Father, I'm so sorry. This is enough for me now. I'm tired of failing other on my own account. I've had enough.
Tucked between the pages of this entry is a copy of a letter and a pendant in shape of a gauntlet with an open eye on it.
