One Duty may have been fulfilled, but many have just began

[Hoihe]

"Song of Hearts

By now we witnessed great many tragedies
through which our hero lived only by the force of Just
He wondered aloud if his life was a toy of maladies
It was no mystery why for no man or woman he had lust

Remember his first love of Sixteen
An elven maiden of song and white hair, his mate he would deem
To superstition and false traditions she died
For an era after, he could not love again, no matter how much he tried

After her came Camille Call
A blonde human woman
strong and quite tall
Lost again she was, and our hero felt unlike a true man

All that he loved, die dlong before him
Despite his life, he survived all the gods’ whim
his family, loves and even friends could never be kin
For long before he could, they fell into the bin

The final straw it seemed was Valge Kyrlm the white
At the zenith of his quest they met, dragonblood both
both trapped abroad, united they were in strife
She finally survived, but never remained

Thanks to her though, did he realize
A life as a dragon he could not visualize
Hurt was his heart, but with a new quest
to change his ways now, to the truth’s test

He did learn to love, our hero bold
Her name thought, I must, for now withhold
all the tests others had failed
Through them all, as one, they scaled"

[Hoihe]

Song of Darkness

It was not only Valge who helped him see
The fact that a life as a dragon was not for him to live
He realized now, in his holy quest, it was an elf’s life to be
the tale I’ll regale today… you might find hard to believe

You see there lives a young elven maiden fair
a songstress she is, cheerful like a hare
Much like our hero, into caverns she dived
With her sister did she a darkness revived

This darkness was not something you’d see
Indeed it was rather a danger to the mind
A textbook description of misfortune to the tee
a creature was found, not even Candlekeep knew its kind

You see æons back, in humanities old
Lived a few mages; with ambitions bold
Power they sought, so summon they did
The thing arrived, and no trace remains. I wish I could kid

How our hero knew this? Through visions to the past
From an obelisk They made, memories he claimed
With his own eyes he saw the beast with its tentacles fast
In the vision he found he was found, so indeed now he got maimed

Only now did he realize as he broke out in sweat
What his ward live through whenever she rested
Horror it was, but his blood under the rug his fear swept
Set out he did, with vigour anew tested

The quest brought him to Sehanine the Wise
Desire did he whatever true faith’s prize
To succeed he had to understand the elven psyche
In the horrors did he realign his sight

The creature never died, yet its actions stopped
Our hero now saw the mess he had hopped
No future remained without worry
To the world he has to lie, to keep their baleful lives blurry

[Hoihe]

"Song of Deeds and Fame

Multiple years have passed since our hero’s debut
During their passage great fame he attained
He was well known by his title, he certainly wasn’t mute
Indeed his greatest fame was how his tongue he always sustained

His fame pierced even Sehanine’s mists
Often he tried to put them into lists
Such was his news that it sealed his fate
To become elven did he find in faith

Sehanine teaches rebirth and roads
he was told indeed by her priestes both
That he acted like an elf like he trods
Drawn was he to this promise like to the flame the moth

Was he accepted? Not by all elves
Some found doubt in their own selves
If an outsider could become an elf
What would they be, if a human could be kin himself?

But the Cormiira approved,
so did his love
Did his friends alike, and Mealir ruled
Into Doron Amar was he accepted, just like a glove

Earned it has he in wars countless many
In battles of the elves, worked so uncanny
Ancient secrets did he recover
Protecting the sources of the elven power

Ask his name of any of the old guard
Once I reveal it of course, for I am a secretive bard
They will tell you and confirm my tales
of how he sails upon the gusty gales"

[Hoihe]

"Flute song

One item accompanied our hero true
A series of flutes old
After Ar’ri’s own, did he in a flute, to the ancient quest, he found clue
And thus did they depart on the mission bold

It was oN Captain Mealir’s word
guided by the flute song he has heard
Beautiful it was, mysterious as well
to his trusty crew did he indeed tell

The flute of the Many its name
Built by great Elroel the Blind
with its sing did the old bard claim fame
Upon his death it was taken by a sailor most kind

Blind was our bard, his instruments bare
For if they were rich, thieves would look like a wild hare
So he built a great flute with tricks and guiles and wit
Disassembled it was plain, but the sound was amazing of the kit

So the Wanderess sailed, into oceans deep and wide
With inherent magic did they search for its parts
Indeed not even in sunken ruins could it hide
During this voyage were there blooms of hearts

A moon elven maiden white
did descend from the light
To share a lif of joy and strife
Yet our hero feared to think of her as wife

The thing that broke the shell
was a trip to proper hell
Afterwards they hugged, maybe even kissed
Did our hero finally learn what his life has missed

At last, the mission was over
Misfortune was shattered by primal power
A wish was fulfilled, a Duty kept
And did he finally admit, love was mighty met"

[Hoihe]

"An elven life

Love and wish were at last met
but not without heroes who have wept
A great sacrifice was made to keep life
Freedom was gained, Rain became the martyr’s wife

Our tone changes now, like so much has
welcome at last, Luthien says
Damn you to hell and back, Laitae cursed
A dynamic of life into new worlds burst

Friends lost. Some forever
Some don’t care, happen whatever
Some were born, with our hero one himself
A citizen now of the refuge of the elf

His captain wept, the voyage was tough
His worn health forced a cough
Passed down his hat to his officers true
Paperwork crashed, which our hero would rue

But not all need to be with gloom
the fear of mortality and hurting her no longer true
So admit he did without dread of doom
Not yet married, but it’s a plan they planned through

Although reluctant at first
In the end he had given in to the ancient thirst
Having given up his magical grit
To fight he had to rely on wit

He danced at last with the shadows
With his love, in deserts and meadows
he wanted her proud and she had a blast
But she worried if his identity would last

It took him a while to learn
what she desired and earn
The old trust once that was now wounded
He learnt that perfection is not to be hounded

One final challenge we must glance at
Our hero bold insode old ruins had fallen flat
And now he is forced to see dresses served
As a woman now his gender permanently captured

A woman she was, a problem at first
At first he felt cursed
But now with Soora’s approval blessed
Did she realize that for elves gender was not stressed

So we come to the conclusion now
If you followed the flow
You’d realize our hero’s name at last
Hopeful Hoihe and her love the snowy Soora, it comes at last"

[Hoihe]

"By Labelas have I been most careless in keeping my memories proper for people to find and peruse at a later time, when either I am no more or when I have fatefully let slip grasp of my journals, for the world to learn.

So much has occured that I cannot even begin to record all of it. Looking over my last notes, I recognize that the last time my fingers skid across these pages I was still questioning whether that little gift from old Miyeritar was a blessing or a curse. Well, I have the answers now!

Back before Onna'Evatril departed from the Coast to preach of Angharradh elsewhere, she and I discussed at length what I truly wanted. What Soora truly wanted and why we had our fight. I wrote a poem inspired by such and have also made my decision firm and final, with but one caveat. That caveat is now moot, as it never did come up.

As it stands, Soora has little to no care for public perception. Whatever makes her and I happy is good enough for her, barring obvious cases of me becoming the next breadlord. Furthermore, seeing as it is our souls that drew us together in the first place and keep us joined, and joining evermore, my body is only of secondary concern to her.

When I told her of my desire to stay as I am, as a woman that is (not an elf of impure blood. I've no intention of staying with short ears, even if sharp, or such blocky features), her reaction was one of a kind. Something all alchemists must be praying but never obtaining. It was like I found the Philosopher's stone itself. After asking me if I wished to be called another way, and me going off on a tangent, she just laughed, smiling that I was still terrible with choosing a name. In the end, we have agreed on perhaps using my private name, modified of course, Nu'Ruimatria when alone and either Hoihe or Lafali'Atria when in company. I argued for Hoihe over Hoiha saying unless she can find me another person with the name "Hoihe" and that person is a human male, then this name is elven and female. Why? Because I said so and I've known isolationist wood elves with weirder names.

Naturally, as is Soora, she gave me a new name (perhaps much more fitting than ogre): Lady Note, arguing Lafali'Atria sounds a lot like music practice. I like it. Deciding to go back to our adventure from our little break, all my doubts of her enjoying this were shattered as she took it upon herself to take up my previous role, offering me her hand to stand like a proper knight. This did bring me to discuss how we are to decide who gets to wear a dress in certain dances, and I conceded in letting her wear it nine times out of ten. That is, if that dance requires someone to wear a suit. Otherwise, both of us do.

It appears I have been an inspiring individual of sorts. As it stands, I inspired Sveta Asperan, now going by Lysander Asperand to come forth and bend the fabric of what many assume to be reality to be more fitting the reality she, I mean he and I understand.

In exchange came what spurred me to dust off my old notes. Viridiana, overnight as far as I understand, shifted from an elf with impure blood to one with blood pure as gold. For indeed, she became a sun elf.

I remember when I became an elf of impure blood myself and realized mine was not as pure as silver. I was distraught, and began questioning why. Realizing I might not have been ready for the true honour, I prayed to Sehanine, and by extension the Seldarine, to grant me a sign when I am ready.

And I don't know, if someone whose memories told her she was always an elf of impure blood suddenly wakes to find herself full blooded is not enough of a sign to you, then tell me what is.

So here I am, digging through my old notes and distracting myself from research by finding this dusty old journal to record my thoughts. Soora will be overjoyed when she hears this! I just need to design a ritual.

Transforming a whole leap from human to elf through purely arcane basis was always a possibility, even without artifacts, it was merely too difficult, dangerous and expensive to attempt. Going by the step rule, a human shares with an elf the general shape of body, the manner of speech and senses, merely dulled. However, to an elf a human is like a blank canvas, stripped of special abilities granted upon the People by their birthright.

A human sleeps, like any other creature of the Prime Material. Elves however, can sleep, indicating the canvas is retained, but are also capable of reverie. Those in between, of impure blood, may or may not have the innate ability to reverie but have the chance of learning. Such, an arcane ritual to bestow oneself the ability to Reverie is possible now without having to take an elf apart and study due to already having the seeds for it.

The same thing applies for all the special elven things that would have required me to take an elf, preferably live one and destructively analyze the differences between human and elf, pinpointing the differences and mapping them all out on vectors to guide the transformation indirectly.

As an elf of impure blood, I already have many if not all the flavours of an elf, if rather dulled. What I do not have is much easier to map without having to kill an elf, which I will not, for the Seldarine would cast me out and my own heart is not dark enough for such and will never be.

Perhaps a ritual akin to the draconic ones, ones made to turn a human into a dragon in many steps could work as a good basis. If I manage to please Kirias and Fierlith and have them guide the ritual, I might even be able to save on mathematical nightmares mapping out all the transformation vectors. Perhaps I could also leave the resulting appearance to the mercy of Hanali to simplify the works, not cling to how my current looks are and try to translate them.

Yes, if my understanding and hypotheses are correct it should not be as much of a nightmare as becoming ahalf-elf an elf with impure blood as it will be to purify that blood.

Fierlith said I might need to give up certain things. As long as I am an elf, and can live alongside Soora on Toril and retain my memories and mannerisms - as in, remain myself in mind - I will gladly give up all my material, magical and even my knowledge to a ritual. I am resourceful enough to remake my wealth, intelligent enough to rebuild my spellbook and crafty enough to learn once more.

I should get back to worming through my books. This damn mountain is freezing! Can't believe I used to /enjoy/ this frost! It's summer for Rillifane's sake.

[Hoihe]

"Yes! Whatever doubts there were that this was the sign are now cast down forever into the abyss of oblivion!

Laitae has been promoted to Great Reader, allowing another to become the Guide. This means that nothing, I mean it: nothing stands in the way of me accessing my notes and books inside Candlekeep. I might even be able to retake my vows as a Reader and see if I left anything in the Vault.

Herran is going to help me get my old notes. I should already have them all, and copied them all over - spent like 15 hours copying non-stop without a break. I hope Sirion can read it. But! just in case I'm getting my Candlekeep copies. They should be the most up to date.

And Zullo is back. Zullo - the doctor who has operated on elves before. If anyone knows the anatomical differences, it's him. Medune is also a doctor but he's... unlikely to have access to such knowledge.

With Zullo as my anatomical guide, Viridiana as my vector chart, my own experiences as approximation, Fierlith as my spiritual guide, Sirion as my wizard - truly the stars have aligned! I must do something to show my love to Sehanine Moonbow in appreciation.

Laitae is likely going to hate me even more but I learnt from Soora: Do what pleases the two of us, not the world. That's what the Seldarine wants too.

Speaking of Laitae I might be robed in blue once more... I hope longer ears in blue robes won't cause the library to be blown up her her wrath. No matter!

I've got hundreds of pages of calculations to do and I have studied Viridiana some today. Should be good to start."

[Hoihe]

"And that takes care of the anatomical aspects. Zullo is a godsend."

[Hoihe]

"I might rope in Medune, see if he understands anatomy as well. I've also got Teharissa to aid. With the amount of magical energies likely to be released, it's a good idea to get an archmage, even if a sorcerer."

[Hoihe]

"One component down: The willingly given blood of an elf ready to receive me as sister.

Moonstones and diamonds should be good soon. I already have the oil, but for safety I'll check with maddy if she's around.

Mithral, Revenark is on it.

Even Viridiana is starting to see it now."

[Hoihe]

"And it's done. The ritual has been designed. Looking at it, I'm honestly not sure just how much we'll rely on Fierlith. Hopefully not too much, but she'll help plenty none the less.

Ah, thirty one decades - finally come to fruition! I should write a poem or great prose but I am at a loss of words beyond saying just how excited I am.

I must admit I feel guilt for still keeping it at the top of my mind with the that serial killer around. I should deal with him first, but there's also the Divine sign. You don't put such on hold!

It's a bit weird - I wonder how Life will be without this accursed feeling gnawing at my existence at the back of my mind. I am sure it will be much better than stripping myself of food to combat the stocky nature of humanity and suppressing my own ideals, those of Silverymoon and Myth Drannor to appease as many elves as I can. I promised Amarathine to be an elf of tradition - but that tradition will not be Aryandaar's or Illythiry's tradition of hatred, but of Myth Drannor's. Eva followed those traditions, and none questioned her elven being.

Before any Candlekeeper sets out to murder me for "destroying knowledge", I jot it down now that I have always kept a thorough journal, accompanied by treatises and verbal pass down of my skills. No knowledge will be lost, just my own access to it.

Guess I will be able to write more when it hits. Inspirement comes with the waxing and waning of the moons.

[Hoihe]

"The closer the hour draws the longer each hour takes. I'm looking through the components I am using and removing a select few for sentimental value. They won't make or break the ritual, and it will be nice to have something to look at, to remember days gone by.

A broken sword with its magic sapped, from the quest for the flute.; my first gift from Soora, a gemstone; the gift from Nëa when I became half-elf, a hat; The ring Soora gave me after I proposed to her; the cape Soora gave me but days before I became half-elven; Amarathine's black pearl; Amarathine's key to the Wanderess; my ring of covenant with the Silverstone. I wish I could keep my silver cape, it was after all my first item of great worth or my mithral armour, elven swords, draconic spear but they all carry powerful enchantments that I must sacrifice as fuel. Perhaps their mundane husks I can keep. "

[Hoihe]

After months of not touching the dusty tome, Lafali'Atria-Hoihe Dacino takes it in hand and writes but a few lines

"On the twenty sixth of Eleasis, my Duty has found its reward. With it, I have both ended and started a life. It has been months since it happened, and I wondered and wondered to write, and now I realized I should begin a new journal, a new approach but continuous of the old two.

For this last two-three months I've been wondering to write in a journal. As of yesterday's events, I feel it is time I return to my old habit, even despite the reverie that grants me greater access to memories than any skillful scribe could."

The rest of the pages, still open for writing, have been crossed out as to prevent any further entries to this chapter of life.

((Third Journal))