DM Ghost stepping down and taking a break

[Ghost]

I've been a DM for a bit over one and a half years now, and it has been a lot of fun. I've had the great pleasure of experiencing very immersive and great RP with fantastic writers and phenomenal players, as well as working with perhaps the best DM team the server has had, in my experience. This was mainly at the time when I joined, and indeed the main reason I applied. I had been quite disillusioned with the DM team, but over the year before my application, I had begun to regain faith in the DM team, especially through the very immersive and well done events of DMs Eurydice and Eminence, as well as the leadership of then HDM Narshe.

But as is the nature of being a DM, I've also had my share of frustrations. The DM team, for instance, is much more forgiving of offenses than I would have perferred. Then again, this can be an issue on my own part, as I may be harsh and unforgiving when rules are broken. The problem, as I see it, is that we're allowing the rule breakers and otherwise toxic players to scare/drive away those who become victims of their rule breaking or targets of their toxicity.

Another frustration is the constant accusations flung at the DM team in general about corruption and favoritism. As a team, when we are working together, there is no corruption. Most of us are good at staying away from request threads and other topics where there are conflicts of interest with our player side characters, and when we fail at staying away, we're also quick at pointing out this conflict of interest in each other. It must be done, for fairness. The only time we post in threads that relate to us playerside, is if we are required to provide factual clarification (for instance, I provided some hierarchy clarification on a Candlekeep thread recently, but otherwise stayed well out of it) It is unfortunate that these things cannot be shown to the public forum (because we shouldn't be airing other people's laundry and also because of metagaming potentials), and I would hate to ask you to simply take my word for it, so I won't. But I would encourage people to act as if the DM team is acting fairly as a collective. Valefort always reminded me player side to assume people have good intentions as a default position. And it's a good practice to combat the cynicism that has become prevalent and indeed I am myself quite prone to.

We are of course also humans, we DMs (with the exception of Maecius, who is a book - and to be fair, no longer a DM) and we're not perfect. It is difficult not to be drawn towards certain people for their RP, even as a DM, but we try to remind ourselves and each other to practice fairness. But even so, I'm sure there are genuine cases to be made about individual DMs showing favouritism or other corruption. Indeed, without mentioning names, I know a few in the past who have done so. But every time this happens, it has become quite clear for me that it happens due to the DM doing things on their own without consulting the team as a whole. Unfortunately, these things also sometimes manage to stay under the radar for quite a while, or just remain complaining from players without substantiating evidence, so the HDMs cannot really act on it, though I know they do try to investigate.

And about evidence, this is a constant problem. I hear people complain about DMs and players alike. You have to send in screenshots or other evidence to make your case. Otherwise it just becomes obnoxious complaining and simply spreading venom. If you have complaints about players, send them to the DM team. The DM team cannot know otherwise. They cannot help solve the situation. The same goes for when you have complaints about a particular DM: Send the complaint to the HDMs. And if you want to complain about a HDM, perhaps reach out to the other HDMs or Maecius and Endelyon. I'm afraid, however, that if you find the de facto owners of the server - the people who actually run it - to be the problem, you're out of luck.

But I've also seen great DMs - indeed the very best of DMs - quitting over the venom spat at them and others without any evidence of wrongdoing. Indeed all of the accusations just seem to be made up in several of the cases, out of spite. And this does not help if you're trying to follow the advice of Valefort that I mentioned above.

And this is becoming a bit of the reason I'm now going to take a break. I want to stress that this is simply my perspective, and it may be exaggerated by other factors contributing to my burn-out. But there is a staggering amount of vitriol between players and other players, and between players and DMs, and it is becoming quite exhausting. Especially when the source of the vitriol isn't appropriately dealt with, because of what appears to me to be a too forgiving staff. But this is indeed my perspective, and I'm happy to admit it may be other reasons, such as difficulty of truly identifying the source of the vitriol.

So I am taking a break, though I will be available to log on playerside if someone wants to RP with me about something specific. Or maybe I'm just feeling like some casual RP occasionally. But being on a break, I feel it's just unfair to stay on the DM team, so I am stepping down as well. I've been told there are good chances for my return some time in the future as a DM if I so want. Though I think next time, I'll follow in Flasmix' example and just be open about who I am playerside.

Until then, I am Deathgrowl.

If anyone have questions about my time as a DM, feel free to PM me about it, or poke me privately on the #bgtscc IRC channel, where I will be staying, even with the break. I've become fond of many people on the server and would rather not lose contact with them.

[Steve]

Thank you for your time! Cya!

[Akroma666]

Very well written Ghost/Deathgrowl, sorry to see you step down but I agree its best before we make bad decisions.
Hope you come back to us soon and I for one never got to experience you as a DM first hand but I want to that you for doing so.
I will also say I appreciate your honesty and transparency, agree with a lot of your points.
Thank you for your service.

[Maecius]

I fear my post here was gobbled up in the 24 hour forum rollback, but the jist of it was that I hope you'll continue to think of this place as your virtual home away from home. And maybe enjoy the playerside of the game again, with the people you enjoy playing it with, now that you're relieved of the burdens of DMing.

As a DM, you were a great storyteller, with a careful attention to detail and lore that impressed me.

As a player, you're still all those things.

Happy gaming, Ghost.

[chad878262]

Ghost,

I only ever interacted with you a few times as a player, perhaps a bit more as a DM, but in all occasions I enjoyed your imaginative storytelling and your desire to improve the enjoyment of those you interact with. Hopefully your burn out will be short lived and you can come back with fresh perspective (either as player, DM, or both). I think most players here are appreciative and, for the most part, positive...sometimes however, the vocal minority is all we see/hear/think about. In any case, good luck in whatever life brings you and know that many of those you interact with enjoyed the experience.

[Gottmoerder]

Børk børk

[kleomenes]

My response got eaten! To repeat: it takes strength to step down in such circumstances, as well as wisdom to recognise the need.

Hopefully after a bit of a rest the frustrations can be outweighed by the fun stuff!

[Flasmix]

I never really got to be in any of your events, but I hope to if you return. Enjoy your break and please...



STAY SAFE DM POVERTY GHOST

[TarnishedSoul]

My response was eaten, too! I'm pretty sure that I said something nice and sentimental, so let's just stick with that concept! See you IC when I see you!

Stay Safe Poverty Ghost!

[Empoweredfan]

I'm sad to see you step away, as yours is an opinion I've always found myself respecting, and most of the time reaching for (with minor success). I won't say good bye though, as I intend to bother you about nonesense if you want me to or not.

A break is only healthy though, so I'll try my best to respect that about IG issues.

Talk to you later DG!