A Heartfelt Apology

[Calodan]

Hey I have been thinking on something for some time now. More of a me thing and I guess one could say a thread like this is always motivated by selfish reasons. As many know I have not been nearly as active over the last year as I used to be. I have been hiding behind a cloaked veil of false notions that I was TOO busy to continue RP on my main and other PCs I have. I have come to find out from my own personal meditations this is not true. I have been voluntarily been kind of punishing myself out of guilt. What I am speaking of is my incredibly poor attitude towards others in PMs and my uncanny ability to create and or join in dissention of the groups I RP with. If you do not know me. I am a US Marine and a dysfunctional one at that. In my time here I have made friends and torn them down for no reason other than I am bat shite crazy.

Needless to say I have been less than compassionate to those who are really good people and did not deserve what I said to them. It was malicious and quite evil really. I have been thinking on this for some time as I said. There are so many to put them down name by name would only cause more hatred for me, as I would surely miss a name, than I already feed.

I guess what I am really saying is I miss the type of community this can be when one does not shoot themselves in the foot on relationships OOCly here. I want to be a part of this great story more and will be attempting to re-connect the relationships Kory had slowly as I continue to build and flesh out my new PC I am really excited to be playing. If no one has seen him around he is Davendithas Carter a magician!

I guess the ones who I have slighted deserve more from me. I know I can not offer much except this apology publicly to declare what many of you already knew. I am an arse. I have societal issues connecting and often get entirely too worked up over little things.

As I am not looking for anyone's comfort, or even attention I politely ask that a moderator immediately lock this thread for viewing only. I do not need any comments as that would defeat the purpose.

ALL I CAN SAY IS I AM SORRY. This place is a great place with great people from all over the world who want to be a part of a collaborative story together.