The Story of Christmas.

[Master_Sarevok]

Thousands of years ago. Before the dawn of man as we knew him, there was a Sir Santa of Clause.

An ape like creature making crude and pointless toys out of dino bone, and his own waste. Hurling them at chimp like creatures with crinkled hands; regardless of how they behaved the previous year.

These so called toys, were buried as witches and defecated upon. And hurled at predators who were awoken by the searing grunts of the children. It wasn't a holly jolly Christmas that year. For many, were killed.

A war like race of elves landed on the ice encased earth, and they were immediately enslaved by the unevolved santa ape. To make his confused toys.

Using galactic elven technology, toys were made into recongnizable shapes and given names like...train.

But this toys were also thrown at predators and defecated upon, because they were so stupid. Christmas still sucked, in a big way.


**Not to be taken seriously.**

[Moltrazahn]

...

It's September!

Don't you start that whole thing shops do where they forget 3 months are still happening and begin to describe how presents should look under a tree.

*walks off old-man style*

[AlwaysSummer Day]

I truly hate holidays. Except Devils night.

[Master_Sarevok]

And now we continue our story:

The ice had mad the globe un-navigable. Santa ape did not know where the north pole was. How could he? He was born before science existed.

So he arbitrarily placed his workshop, right here. Long before they unionized. And Christmas was celebrated at each full moon. In front of the Great Red Ape!