Just need to get this off my chest...

[LISA100595]

Health Update:
Vitamin D levels are low again. Osteopenia, Arthritis and Fibromyalgia. Rhuematologist directive to try Gluten Free Diet and to stay away from everything with Red dye in it. More blood work with GI specialist to check the liver. Recommended Yoga or Tai Chi to increase strength. Other than that, same pain different day... no cure yet.

[Wyatt]

If pain is weakness leaving the body, chronic pain sufferers are the strongest people on the planet. You are in my prayers Lisa as are the health care professionals trying to help treat your afflictions.

Wyatt

[Stonebar]

I've loved and always held on to the Military saying "Pain is just weakness leaving the body" to give me hope. Seems I have a lot of weakness to purge if this is the case...

[LISA100595]

Unfortunately I did not have the opportunity to rp with you yet. But your work is marvelous! My sympathies are with you, even if it does not help with your condition directly.

If pain is weakness leaving the body, chronic pain sufferers are the strongest people on the planet. You are in my prayers Lisa as are the health care professionals trying to help treat your afflictions.

Wyatt

I've loved and always held on to the Military saying "Pain is just weakness leaving the body" to give me hope. Seems I have a lot of weakness to purge if this is the case...

Thanks guys, I appreciate each and every one of your good wishes, thoughts and prayers.

[AlwaysSummer Day]

I had no idea you were going through this Lisa. You have contributed so much to the server over the years and now the work seems that much more. You may not have Matty's constitution but you surely have Elvina's willpower. Just don't start talking to invisible friends on us

[LISA100595]

I had no idea you were going through this Lisa. You have contributed so much to the server over the years and now the work seems that much more. You may not have Matty's constitution but you surely have Elvina's willpower. Just don't start talking to invisible friends on us

Awe! that's so cute omg thank you, you made me smile today and well I can't promise anything about talking to invisible friends.. tell you what i'll do it when you're not looking! hehe

[Necrotic Shadows]

You're far and away one of my favorite people on this server, Lisa. Rping/talking with you is always a gift. Where my own pains are mild, I've lived knowing my mothers own chronic pains for the last 25 years. There's rarely acceptance for those who deal with these sort of pains. My own grandfather who's a farmer loves to tell my mother to "suck it up and put on your boots". It's not fair, it effects some beautiful souls and I'd not even wish it upon the worlds worst person. I'm sorry you're going through this.

All that said..... thank you for the peaches.

[LISA100595]

You all may have been wondering why I've not around much lately.... Well, it's 10 years going now and still no relief... no answers. All they can do is try to treat the symptoms.

7 Years now i've been dealing with this... I know of others who are also dealing with this as well... This by no means can compare or should compare to anyone having difficulties in their lives, it is just a way to express my own feelings, and help others understand a bit. My love and prayers go out to those I know are going through hard times and worse than me.

Chronic pain is not like other medical issues—it cannot be seen or measured, and there is no set protocol to "make it better." The unique and complicated factors that characterize chronic pain make it difficult to communicate what you are going through.

Open letter from a person with chronic pain:

Having chronic pain means many things change, and a lot of the changes are invisible.
Unlike having cancer or being hurt in an accident, most people do not understand chronic pain and its effects, and of those that think they know, many are actually misinformed. In the spirit of informing those who wish to understand: These are the things that I would like you to understand about me before you judge me.

• Please understand that being sick doesn't mean I'm not still a human being. I have to spend most of my day in considerable pain and exhaustion, and if you visit, sometimes I probably don't seem like much fun to be with, but I'm still me, stuck inside this body. I still worry about work, my family, my friends, and most of the time, I'd still like to hear you talk about yours, too.

• Please understand the difference between "happy" and "healthy." When you've got the flu you probably feel miserable with it, but I've been sick for years. I can't be miserable all the time. In fact, I work hard at not being miserable. So, if you're talking to me and I sound happy, it means I'm happy. That's all. It doesn't mean that I'm not in a lot of pain, or not extremely tired, or that I'm getting better, or any of those things. Please don't say, "Oh, you're sounding better!" or "But you look so healthy!" I am merely coping. I am sounding happy and trying to look normal. If you want to comment on that, you're welcome to.

• Please understand that being able to stand up for 10 minutes doesn't necessarily mean that I can stand up for 20 minutes, or an hour. Just because I managed to stand up for 30 minutes yesterday doesn't mean that I can do the same today. With a lot of diseases you're either paralyzed, or you can’t move. With this one, it gets more confusing every day. It can be like a yo-yo. I never know from day to day how I am going to feel when I wake up. In most cases, I never know from minute to minute. That is one of the hardest and most frustrating components of chronic pain.

• Please repeat the above paragraph substituting "sitting," "walking," "thinking," "concentrating," "being sociable," and so on; it applies to everything. That's what chronic pain does to you.

• Please understand that chronic pain is variable. It's quite possible (and for many, it's common) that one day I am able to walk to the park and back, while the next day I'll have trouble getting to the next room. Please don't attack me when I'm ill by saying, "But you did it before!" or "Oh, come on, I know you can do this!" If you want me to do something, then ask if I can. In a similar vein, I may need to cancel a previous commitment at the last minute. If this happens, please do not take it personally. If you are able to, please try to always remember how very lucky you are, to be physically able to do all of the things that you can do.

• Please understand that "getting out and doing things" does not make me feel better, and can often make me seriously worse. You don't know what I go through or how I suffer in my own private time. Telling me that I need to exercise or do some things to "get my mind off of it" may frustrate me to tears, and is not correct. If I was capable of doing some things any or all of the time, don't you know that I would? I am working with my doctors and I am doing what I am supposed to do. Another statement that hurts is, "You just need to push yourself more, try harder." Obviously, chronic pain can affect the whole body, or be localized to specific areas. Sometimes participating in a single activity for a short or a long period of time can cause more damage and physical pain than you could ever imagine. Not to mention the recovery time, which can be intense. You can't always read it on my face or in my body language. Also, chronic pain may cause secondary depression (wouldn't you get depressed and down if you were hurting constantly for months or years?), but it is not created by depression.

• Please understand that if I say I have to sit down, lie down, stay in bed, or take these pills now, that probably means that I do have to do it right now, it can't be put off or forgotten just because I'm somewhere, or I'm right in the middle of doing something. Chronic pain does not forgive, nor does it wait for anyone.

• If you want to suggest a cure to me, please don't. It's not because I don't appreciate the thought, and it's not because I don't want to get well. Lord knows that isn't true. In all likelihood, if you've heard of it or tried it, so have I. In some cases, I have been made sicker, not better. This can involve side effects or allergic reactions, as is the case with herbal remedies. It also includes failure, which in and of itself can make me feel even lower. If there were something that cured, or even helped people with my form of chronic pain, then we'd know about it. There is worldwide networking (both on and off the Internet) between people with chronic pain. If something worked, we would KNOW. It's definitely not for lack of trying. If, after reading this, you still feel the need to suggest a cure, then so be it. I may take what you said and discuss it with my doctor.

• If I seem touchy, it's probably because I am. It's not how I try to be. As a matter of fact, I try very hard to be normal. I hope you will try to understand. I have been, and am still, going through a lot. Chronic pain is hard for you to understand unless you have had it. It wreaks havoc on the body and the mind. It is exhausting and exasperating. Almost all the time, I know that I am doing my best to cope with this, and live my life to the best of my ability. I ask you to bear with me, and accept me as I am. I know that you cannot literally understand my situation unless you have been in my shoes, but as much as is possible, I am asking you to try to be understanding in general.

• In many ways I depend on you, people who are not sick. I need you to visit me when I am too sick to go out. Sometimes I need you help me with the shopping, the cooking, or the cleaning. I may need you to take me to the doctor or to the store. You are my link to the "normalcy" of life. You can help me to keep in touch with the parts of life that I miss and fully intend to undertake again, just as soon as I am able.

I know that I asked a lot from you, and I do thank you for listening. It really does mean a lot.

Lisa

And all I can do is take it day by day. Some good, some bad etc.

[chad878262]

Pardon the pun Lisa, but I feel your pain... The medical and insurance industries in the US are in severe need of a trip to the scrap heap. The move toward "High Deductible Plans" has actually helped in some cases, but for things like back pain caused by herniated discs there is little relief. I know there have been amazing developments in surgery which have made it a viable treatment these days (~98% effective in removing the pain, only 3% chance of recurrence of the herniation), but it's still so dependent on your doctor and insurance... My Doctor originally was going to recommend surgery after an MRI last year due to a herniated disc I have between L5 and S1 (I have others, but that one is really bad), but then back tracked (she said because she didn't think surgery would help) and sent me to physical therapy... I've had this issue for several years and while the PT did help, it's a bandaid and I know that over time the excercises will be less effective as the disc continues to degenerate. On top of this, with the way High Deductible Plans work, PT cost almost as much as syrgery would have, while surgery has a 1 week recovery (and it's really limited...no driving) vs. the 3 months I spent in PT twice a week paying hundreds of dollars per session.

I wish and hope nothing but the best for you and your family, as always. Keep looking at potential non-medical remedies if you have the patience for some of them are beneficial. I have had limited success with oils my wife studied and creates, one of which is for joint and muscle pain and can help my back in a limited fashion. There are some such remedies that can help, even if they aren't fully recognized by modern medicine. When you're in pain you have to find some way to control and manage it. Keep fighting for a better life!

[LISA100595]

Thanks Chad!! I wish all the best for you too!!

[Darker_Thought]

I knew some of what you posted but not all of it until today. I won't chip in with any measure of fully understanding your challenges other than it's amazing how you fight this at the same time as you are doing so much for the server.

Every time Iv'e had a question about BG, The Toolset or any other issue you've always answered with a cherish and positive response which Iv'e always appreciated about you. We've been on the same servers (TFR and BG) since 2007 and have had some "wickedly" awesome events together. You can always ventilate with the Community and dive into this world whenever you need a break from irl. Thx for all your work so far! <3

I have one tip. When I was backpacking In Asia, (Specifically Indonesia's Islands) I came upon some of the medicine they use locally there. Its called "Paramoa Root Oil". They use it for everything between back-pain, joint-pain, rheumatism and so on. And it can only be found on the Indonesian Islands as the plant is local. But with Global trade its possible to ship these products in as long as it's a "legit" supplier. Iv'e tried this myself before and its a lot more effective than any Ibuprofen Creams and Tiger Balm iv'e encountered. It's also into the realms of alternative medicine but if I can give you a tip of something that just makes this a tiny bit better...I think its worth to say

[Empoweredfan]

You know that we're here for you, and I think you already know that however you may feel in real life, you bring a certain energy to this community that many of us are just not able to provide. Don't ever think that you are being a burden, or that you are unpleasant to be around when you play, regardless of what sort of day you are having in the real life. If you need to talk, or to vent, we're here for you, as you have been for any number of us. And that includes waiting here until you feel ready to play again.

See you soon Lisa.

[LISA100595]

Thanks guys, I really appreciate your love and support