Never Again Forget - Saint Merielle Silene

[LeslieMS]

[ONEHUNDRED-SEVENTEENTH ENTRY]

Well… As days go, this one was not so terrible. I finally had a chance to speak with Selah, and with Sir Crownsilver, though both conversations were much shorter than I would have liked. Sister Abby seems well. The sanctuary was largely empty. It saddened my heart to see it. Whispers of this Dark Messiah fellow and his words trouble me. Who is this man, why can no one tell me of him?

Between the city of Baldur’s Gate and Candlekeep, there was an attack as I traveled. Some fell in the fighting, but I think none were lost. I was utterly appalled to see how many make camp in the shadow of that foul place. Even as I warned them the danger they were in and the Disciples of Murder called forth demons to fell them for their trespass, they remained. I sought to warn them, and to my dismay my warnings fell on unhearing and arrogant ears. My only comfort is that soon enough we will find the means to halt the Bhaalists.

Of note the creepy fellow with the eye patch, the businessman… Spinning stories? Telling truth? How am I to know the difference? I fear for now I shall just have to assume it is more cleverly spun tricks designed to separate me from my duty. There is a great deal of that. They grow desperate. Threats and lies, they hide in shadows like cowards and seek to twist others to do their work. Work that they fail at, they send others in their place, hoping for better success. I have not wavered. I will not waver. We have not walked so many steps to falter now. I must stand watchful, for now they seek to bend those of lesser resolve, and given the chance they will take him. I will not allow it. William is a child of Mercy. Mercy holds him, and -will not- let him go.

Selah is well, and the means to end her blind curse may well be at hand. She hints at trouble with the iron mines, and political ills that it is not my place to question. Politics were never my strong suit. Too much like a mass of folks all seeking to undercut one another for power, without thought to the people they as governments are responsible for. Of lighter note, the reconstruction of Nashkell goes well, with only minor troubles as I understand it.

Sir Crownsilver has promised Fist to keep the sanctuary safe. He did speak of an Ilmatari Drow… and the course of the conversation only left me more ill at ease. How far will Baenund go to regain her most favorite plaything? Regardless Crownsilver will see to Sister Abby’s safety. I pray that enough to keep her well. Crownsilver asked of the assassins. I remember hooded figures, but nothing else. Blast my memory. A careful blow to the head and thoughts scatter. Whispers of Bhaalist assassins and shadows… Not much, but enough to know the foe. I will see their fortress destroyed. No longer will they have sanctum there.

A messenger arrived with a foreboding warning. The darkest shadows whisper of spiders beneath the floorboards wishing to reclaim the morsel that has long since escaped the web. I have bought myself time, but not safety. There is darkness ahead. I hold close the hope that I can still see this through, see the amulet destroyed. Disturbingly enough it is not just the Drow who seek it. Blast Harker! I know his careless words are what has drawn it to public eyes on the surface. How many seek it? I could not say. Wizards, Demons, Drow, Noblemen and the gods only know who else seeks the cursed thing. I am servant to Ilmater and no other. I will not be bound again. I am the map. I am the key. I will be its destruction. Let them seek it, let them show me the path to it… I will destroy it. I will be free from that which binds my mind and my soul.

The path has been long, and I know there are many steps still before my journeys are complete. My faith is my strength, hope lights my path, even in the darkest of places. I have been patient. I have bent instead of broken. I have stood unwavering. Mercy has guided my path long before I was aware whose hand stay at my back, and lent me strength. Ilmater bid me endure, and as he does, so shall I, for in the end I shall find peace. In the end there is only Mercy. I am starting to think that perhaps I will find peace in this lifetime. Maybe I need not wait to stand on Mount Martyrdom to find it. Today I stood in the arms of Mercy, and for a time I felt at peace, for the first time in all my years, I felt a moment of … safety. The hand of the divine shone brightly through me, and lit the path for many. Hope’s light pushed away the shadows for a time, held at bay the fear. Renewed me, and my faith and hope shall yet sustain me.
~~

[LeslieMS]

[ONEHUNDRED-EIGHTEENTH ENTRY]

I prepared to leave the city before the crowds grew thick and the sun too high in the sky, but things seldom go as planned. The day was late when I made my way to the city gates, friendly faces were few and far enough in between, but I made my way safely enough with a prayer on my lips. I would have barely enough time to get to the Keep before the sun fell away. I was surprised to be called by name. More surprised to see a guardsman of the Fist stood facing me. Orders he had said. The old thought crept through my mind about simple healers, and guardians of orphans hardly need armed escorts. Some time ago I came to the realization that, like it or not, I was no simple healer anymore. No naive girl with a bleeding heart and a bundle of bandages. Nor was the child I guarded a mere orphan.

As we made our way quietly toward the keep, and largely without incident, save some wolves and gnolls, we cut through the woods. So close to nightfall I was none too fond of looming so close to the shadow of such a foul place as the halls of my enemy. How I despised that place. Even then we arrived safely at Candlekeep. Billy was safe. I spoke to the guards intent on trying to catch Maximus. However he was not about the keep at present so we made our way to the inn. I saw to a meal and such. I ate my soup as mannered as possible given I had not eaten since the day before… and I think that was midday at that.

There was talk of more Drow, everywhere. Like the hate and shadow they are bred for they are everywhere and I cannot help but fear the motivation in each. Save for two, both long gone. The talk of Drow only reminded me that I had need to speak to Crownsilver further. Times were dangerous, troubles were plenty and allies few and far between. I grow weary. Weary of whispers from shadow, threats from every direction I dare look, and some in places I cannot see… I grow weary of plots and schemes and shadows and death. I want to step knowing that the only shadow behind me is my own. Peace will come. That is my hope. Faith is strength, and that strength shall sustain me. Weary though I am I will endure. In that I can be content.

The night passed in uneasy quiet and idle conversation. When morning came I had formed the thoughts in my mind to return one more time to the city. I would shore up what alliances I had there, then speak with Maximus, and pray. There was much to do, but little that could be done until these tasks were satisfied. The storm was near enough to breaking. I wanted us ready so that when the tempest threatened to wash all away, we stood as our enemies fell.

We made our way back to Baldur’s Gate, and I wished this trip had been easier than or as easy as our trip to the keep. A familiar and unsettling form before us on the road gave me pause. Mister Celtis, while quiet and most definitely not one for conversation, is commendable in his watchful duty that day. I worry the path the days events might have taken. The rather unpleasant ‘businessman’ with the patch and a bad penchant for questions he should not be asking stood ahead of us. After our last encounters I very much considered him a danger to at least Billy if not myself as well. Clearly he could not be trusted. He knew of the Bhaalists and the Drow. Whether he played ignorant of details or merely hoped to find some snaring bit, his choices of words were less than swaying to say the least. I trust him to lie, and likely to work for one enemy or another, beyond that I trust him not.

He faded from view behind us as we made our way north, but I became quickly aware that while he was unseen did not mean the threat he may well have held had passed. We entered the city with him close enough behind to give me pause. Another fine reason to speak to Crownsilver no doubt. We made our way through the city, quietly and quick of step. I was left to my thoughts for a time as Mister Celtis sought Sir Crownsilver. Those thought turned to the usual worries of the mind, being discounted by the faiths and hopes of the heart. An internal debate that I have grown used to filling idle moments with. Always it ends with faith quelling fear and doubt, assuaging worry and discontent. Plans and prayers alike tumbled through my mind when he finally came to speak with me.

I started with the most prominent worry, the shadow that had followed me into the city. The shifty ‘businessman’ who so far had garnered much dislike and distrust. To put my mind at ease Mister Celtis was dispatched to see if he still lurked. Not long after I was asked to follow him to face the immediate source of my disquiet. I could not stand his arrogant and irksome attitude. He is an ill presence to abide, saying the least.

Crownsilver’s questions were met with dodging answers and smart responses. If this man wished to prove he was not my enemy he failed miserably. Promising to shadow my steps so long as I had access to places and information he did not seemed to rather irritate Crownsilver a great deal. I found myself hard pressed to not reach through the bars to slap him for his insinuations and arrogance. The whisper of Ilmater stayed my temper and the conversation continued. In a move done I think simply to irritate me he spoke a tongue I had not heard in many years. There are only two types of people who speak the common tongue of the darker depths: Those who lived beneath Drow whip, and those who work hand in hand.

He threw words through the bars, and while most of them were meant only to rile me, there was a name and a place, though for now it makes little sense to me. If this Calithil woman is as Ian says, I hardly see why she would work with one such as the one-eyed man before me. Least of all when Ian implied she was of Helm’s fold. If she sought information then perhaps she should seek it herself and keep better company. Silver Marches… a bit dropped to back the unsavory man’s implications that he is One Who Harps… I doubt it. Even though they are secretive, they would not reveal or hide themselves in a way as this one. No, likelier still it is some ruse to grant me a false sense of security. If he is not affiliated with the Drow or the Bhaalists, he is certainly anything but an ally.

Crownsilver seemed content to leave him there in that cell for the time being. I was hardly averse to it. One less trouble at my back. Further conversation with Sir Crownsilver hopefully has led to a bit more aid in the tasks at hand. I know my dealings with the Fist as a whole have been largely unpleasant, but Sir Crownsilver has proven trustworthy from the day he stayed Miss Dredd’s hand there in the prison. Seems so long ago since I was counseling a wandering spirit on the virtues of mercy and justice versus that of vengeance. I don’t think we had actually spoken at length since the day I ran into him now alive and well on the street… How things have changed since those days. Those early days in the city. Simpler times.

So much so have they changed that a peaceful night troubles me. That I wonder what ill the dark may yet hide. I worry if it was the breeze which rustled leaves in the brush or some unseen foe, glancing ever over my shoulder, half expecting Drow or Bhaalists or any manner of trouble. I wonder the motivation behind polite smiles and offers of aid. What lay unknown in the eyes of a stranger or what threat may lurk if not in this step, than the next. Yes. Sadly, much has changed. I can hardly risk blind trust. While I keep to the edicts of my faith and the duty my heart bids me complete, the oaths I stand in, I am more guarded… more careful with my trust. Trust in what you know… and I know less than I should in some things, and more than I would like to in others.

Once safely at the inn again, Sir Crownsilver parted, and I found myself in the company of Val and Jade. Jade seemed content to be her normally cheerful self, and Val, was in need of cheering. Her heart was still heavy over the troubles she was having with Vlad. As she said, she chose love and lost a friend. She was happy with Emrys, and she wished Vlad wasn’t so upset. I offered what comfort I could. Matters of love where hardly ones I am qualified to speak on. I can offer advice on how to avoid it, how to destroy it, how to stop it… Someone once told me I left a trail of disappointed suitors and broken hearts in my wake. There is some truth to it I suppose. Val soon thereafter sought sleep.

This lead Jade to counsel me on my sleep habits, or rather lack there of. An amusing conversation that garnered a chuckle or two from Phillip who had joined us. We had decided to get a bit of fresh air, mostly because I sought some way to avoid sleep further. I hadn’t really slept since those stolen moments in secret, and even then it was not without risk or fear. I still worried the ramifications of those truths exchanged. It buys time… And time is something I have very little of. With hope, It buys enough time. Mercy of Ilmater be with me on such a path. I fear what is to come from such shadows…

So we went outside and sat enjoying the chill of the night. The air crisp and the stars shone brightly. Silly Jade decided to play In the water… and fall in. By the Mercies she scared me. She hit her head, and due to her small stature was rather in danger of drowning. So the enjoyment of the night air quickly passed. A nasty bump on her head, and looking like a drown rat, shaking in the chill air and sopping wet, I wrapped her in my cloaks and got her inside.

The rest of the night passed quietly as we dried out she and I… Eventually I fell asleep sitting in that chair. The tender wounds of the past kept me rigidly upright, and a plethora of nightmares kept me from sleeping too deeply or too long after Jade and the others had left. Morning would come too swiftly, and I would seek tea and toast. As I sought the means to complete duty… messengers trickling back and forth as I write now and nibble on breakfast… Well, they reminded me that I am sought. For the days of pace, where I am a woman, a friend and not a trinket, a toy, a foe, a fly in a web… Ilmater bids me patient and endure. Faith is my strength… Hope is my light. Mercy will prevail…
~~

[LeslieMS]

[ONEHUNDRED-NINETEENTH ENTRY]

By all the Mercies great and small! Talking and planning, waiting, watching, praying. It is enough to draw one to madness. Take strength in faith. Hold hope for without it all that is dear is lost. Whispers from the shadows, thinly veiled threats, darker promises words spoken to test my resolve. I keep Billy closer to the keep these days. Given the numbers swayed by greed and hate, I fear to take him too far away. He understands the burden we bear, the burden he bears. I watch with a heavy heart as circumstances rob him of his youthful innocence. Smiles at childhood joys are replaced by stoic smiles of one with a heavy heart. It is his love and respect for me that keeps his anger in check. I see it there, deep beneath the surface of his gentle nature. And Sister Abby wishes me to abandon him? No even without my oath I could not do so. I pray my support and affection lends him some strength, my counsel helps him to quell is his disquiet. Would that I could bear his burden for him. Since I cannot, I do what I can. I pray for quick resolution, and I keep him safe.

The Bloodstone is an intriguing gemstone, not precious, but not to be easily discounted. It holds many secrets in its glimmering depths. Some it shares, some it keeps… As with all things, nothing is as it seems. Step carefully Meri. On this path there are more than a few pitfalls, plenty of ways such plans can fall to ruin. Yet there is much to gain in the study of such things. Already the light that flashes off the surface of the gem has exposed many shadows for what they are. Those same flashes have left others blinded… It buys time, delays the inevitable, that is all I know for certain. The true value of the Bloodstone will be revealed when it is polished and put beneath the light. Time reveals all mysteries.

Shadows. So many shadows. Eyes that watch unseen, ears that hear more than silence. I know they watch, I know they listen. I know many of them bear me ill, I know it does not matter if they are there at all or not. I guard my words and my steps as best as I can. I fear that even then it is not enough. I must do my best. I must be wary, and I must pray. There are so many, so many things and so many ways things can go wrong. It is insanity to try to plan for all of them, still I try. Fortunately, not all of them are enemies. Though my enemies are numerous. Stay safe. Stay a step ahead. Pray to delay the inevitable long enough to see Billy safe…

Restless and hoping to avoid sleep, I find myself walking the Tradeway offering help where I can. I have aided many, learned much. The whole land is ill at ease. There are rumors of trouble with Amn. The people are plagued by death and illness, that which is ill seeks purchase among the hearts of those not strong enough to hold to hope and truth. Still there is light. Still there is hope. Allies gather together, those who would see evil put to rest. Always there is hope, Mercy will prevail. There is no other end but this. Mercy is in all things, at the end of all things. Seen or unseen, known or not, there is only Mercy in the end. I am content in that, I take comfort from it. As the Hand of Mercy lends me support, the voice of Ilmater guides my heart and my thoughts, I know I do not walk this path alone. Someday peace will find me. In that I am content.
~~

[LeslieMS]

[ONEHUNDRED-TWENTIETH ENTRY]

Time reveals all things, patience endures, and nothing stays quiet for an infinite amount of time. These are as much fact as the strength of my faith and the resolve I live by. Enemies broke the long quiet they have held for some time. I found my will to keep my temper in check tested, and I stood. Anger is a destructive thing. I was glad that Billy had been sleeping in the Spire, that gave me a small measure of peace as darkness filled the inn that night.

Emrys and I were speaking. The day had passed with relative ease. A few conversations of concern. The Drow, the Soulkeep, the Bhaalists, even Tessian. So many plans, too many troubles. Yet here I stand, here we endure, and in the end there will only be Mercy. For now there is darkness, but Hope lights the path, Mercy guides the steps, Faith is strength, there will be peace.

A figure and a voice in the darkness greeted me. So close was he that I could feel the cold hatred winding and twisting within him. I dared not flinch, dared not move lest it be seen as a moment of weakness, so I stood. Emrys was there, as were a couple of shadows I did not expect but was grateful for. Most importantly, I felt the hand of Ilmater at my back, lend me strength to stand and face this new foe.

‘Greetings Ilmatari Sister.’

Whether or not by coincidence, intention or lack of knowledge, this one did not address me by name. I could not clearly see his face, but I know he no less arrogant and cruel than any other. Threats were passed from one side to the other of the room. I focused on his voice, his face unseen to me, I wished to commit him to memory by sound if all else failed me. He turned his attention back to me finally and spoke:

‘Now I came here to speak before such rudeness dare interrupt. The time to release the child is now.’

I could not help but reflect on the irony of his statement before I replied. Such rudeness dared to interrupt indeed! I focused on the figure, roughly looking it in the face and answered with nary a hesitation. My voice stayed even and calm.

‘No. You will not have him.’

‘Sister there is no reason to turn yourself into a Martyr.’

I have no intention of such, came the thought as I regarded him.

‘I will not falter my oath. My answer is no.’

‘The power you have with your Weak God are hardly a match for the rewards of my Lord Bhaal.’

‘And yet here I stand. I will not waver.’

Defiance rose within me as I faced this figure. Indeed I felt fury bubble just beneath the surface rising as the exchange continued. Just as it became evident that his patience would wear thin throughout the discourse. So would begin the next battle of wits. New faces, new threats, and we regarded each other with cold loathing, each certain we could best the other, neither willing to press our luck just yet, so goes the banter as one learns one’s foe.

‘Then if you will not let him leave, and I know he wants to leave you…’

A malignant flash of red in his eyes, and his words sparked more than defiance from the depths of my being. They knew -nothing-. They would gain nothing. I would not allow them that. I clenched my jaw and regarded him defiantly as he continued to speak his threats and demands.

‘… I will destroy all you know in your name.’

‘He does not wish to leave, and I will not let you have him.’

‘I will elevate the suffering of those around you to heights that even Myrkul would cringe at just in hearing the tale.’

‘You will -not- have him!’

'Bring me the Boy!’

I was not surprised by the anger in his voice. It echoed and rolled through the inn. Perhaps he thought to frighten me?

‘No.’

His next words were laced with sarcasm and unveiled contempt. No doubt to see his face it would be twisted in a garish snarl or at best a malignant grin.

‘Then let the suffering begin. Oh and Sister? He is not the only child, but you can prevent -less- suffering by allowing William to come where he belongs.’

‘I cannot give what is not mine. He is Mercy’s child!’

Quick as a blink he disappeared from sight. I looked at Emrys and the others, unable to contain a frustrated exclamation as we looked for him. We knew better than to think he had left. Our search for the flighty foe led up the stairs to the room that I had been sharing with Joan. Much to my irritation a magus stood in the room.

At first he insisted all sorts of nonsense. The innkeeper had given a key, when I knew, and Joan and not to mention half the keep knew, who stayed in that room. Then started in about how much trouble Emrys was in. Claimed to know quite a few folks about the Keep. Fortunately nothing had been moved or messed with. I found it largely amusing that he tried to insist it was his room when mine and Joan’s things lay about, neatly, but the room was definitely occupied by females, and not some lone male magus.

Emrys was angry, naturally. I was less swayed by his threats, and more annoyed by the intrusion. I was more than annoyed. More threats. More lies, more worries, more Bhaalist Devils and their blasted games, with no more or less intent than to wear me down and take that which can never be theirs. Mercy grant me patience, stay my anger, help me stand. I will not surrender my oaths, I will not waver, I will not falter and I refuse to let them have Billy. I refuse.

Of course after a lengthy debate of who was sleeping where, I saw it for what it was. Or rather, heard him for what he was. As did Emrys as the exchange continued. Thought to see if Billy was there? I was increasingly more glad when I thought of how it could have gone if Billy did indeed still sleep in the inn. The banter between Emrys and the Bhaalist continued, each threatening the other, neither seeming want for violence. Finally it seemed he left.

Finally the guise of the wizard fell, and the taunting continued. He spoke and the screams and cries of all who had fallen to Bhaalist blade echoed through the halls. Silently I promised to try find a way to help them each.

‘You will not keep them! You will not have -him-!’

He regarded Emrys with his first words as the screams continued around us, and I stood, by Mercy alone I stood.

‘Run along little guard before I sacrifice your soul to the Lord of Murder. I will see you again soon Sister.’

His laughter echoed amid the voices a moment and all at once all of it was gone, he, the screams, gone… just like that. So we thought at least. As Emrys and I decided to check the room a blade found Emrys’ throat and that insidious taunt sought us. We could not see him, but he was there.

‘See how easy you really are… There is no protection…’

Finally we watched the shadows flee. The taunting done, the battle lines redrawn. The search of the room revealed nothing out of place still, and aside from people being a bit rattled, none were worse for wear. We made our way back down the stair, and off to check on Billy. I suspected this fellow no mere priest. I also suspected I best make ready for a good deal of trouble. The anger that boiled beneath the surface was nothing compared to what waited me still.

Billy was fine, sleeping peacefully, untouched, undisturbed. There was a note pinned to the end of the bed however. A gesture to rile me, and it succeeded in churning the anger within me.

“All you need to do is let him leave, and go home and the suffering will end.”

HA! They think me foolish? End indeed! Lies. -This- was his place. Safe, not some puppet to evil. If they think I will allow them to bring greater pain to the realms then they will be gravely disappointed. No. Yes, there was death and suffering now, but it was nothing compared to what would come if I surrendered my oaths, if I let go of that child I dearly love. If I let them have what they seek, the whole of the coast would wash in blood and drown in screams of innocent. I could not allow such a thing to happen. I will not Falter. I will not Waver. I will stand. Mercy will prevail. They will see, in the end there is ONLY Mercy.

It took two pots of scalding tea before I felt the warmth return to me, and my anger fade. A wizardess sat next to me. Not trusting myself to speak we passed the time in a wordless conversation. A pleasant diversion, even if it didn’t last long enough. Kel, Wythran was kind enough to give me a name for the impossibly, aggravating man who I have seen more than I care to of. Well he showed up. Stepping fairly well from the shadows his being is likely comfortable in.

To say the conversation was tense and unpleasant would be an understatement. He irritates me, I was already in a bad mood. On one hand he asks me to trust him, and then threats and insults pour from him. He has admitted to working with the Drow, in not so direct a measure. Though I have yet to decide if he is a spy, a slave hunter or just a less than reputable man who deals with them.

It would take a few more scalding cups of tea to wash the thoughts from my mind and quell my disquiet. Fortunately not long after Kel left, Wythran showed up. I shared with him my thoughts and theories. As he left the inn, I finally sought rest. Sleep would not find me again, if it ever finds me, it is seldom without fight or fury. It is seldom restful, and it never lasts. So I paced. I wondered about the Bhaalists. How was the note delivered? What did he mean by other children? What of this Dark Messiah fellow? Would I be able to stay a step ahead of the shadows that hunt? Was Tessian alright? What next? Threats and lies and shadows…

Keep strong in your faith Meri. It has not failed you yet, and it will not so long as you do not fail it. Let Mercy guide you, let hope light the way through shadow. Stand unwavering, be patient. The thoughts tumble and tumble. An endless cycle of arguments, debates, plans and prayers. So since I found no peace to rest, I returned to my embroidery. Something to distract the body from the ache and lack of sleep, something to busy the mind… something to pass the time as I wait… Wait for what? That is a mystery time will yet reveal. I must be ready. What ever comes I must be unquestioning in my faith and unwavering in my path. May mercy find all, in some measure or another. Mercy prevails. Always.
~~

[LeslieMS]

[ONEHUNDRED TWENTY-FIRST ENTRY]

It has taken some rest to repair the physical damage. Blasted Thayans! Still at least the memory loss was not great, and noises no longer strain my ears. Fortunate. Compared to the Matron’s tricks, the wizard was blessedly quick. It has taken some time to piece together the events of the night. Some time had to be taken to sort the whispers of the past from the present ones.

For the sake of remembering… Time to put the pieces in place. Its gone beyond hiding from the past. No longer is it just shadows that wander the dark seeking the amulet. Unfortunately, the way it seems, enemies are allying together. Each for their own purposes. Who will lay claim to the foul trinket that lay hidden? How long will it remain so? At what cost is it to be revealed?

The enemy watches from shadowed corners. Bhaalists or another. Because of the Soulkeep I have considerably more enemies than I care to. I need only to see the cursed thing destroyed. Let them seek it. None shall have it. The power to cheat death at the damnation of another… There is no mercy in such a thing… Mercy. Mercy will find those who would seek it without care. Very few have offered to help find and destroy the thing. Lust for power may well be as nearly destructive as anger and hatred. In the end I will see it destroyed yes, but for now my entries must be careful. The assaults on the mind leave memories blurred or forgotten, and I can ill afford to forget things now least of all.

I keep my mind warded now, and I have stopped arguing the need for me to be guarded. I have spent the last couple of days in thought. I know the others were worried, but I do not think they see how difficult it truly is. The work of the Thayan complicates things. Wound deep into the very threads of my mind. The only way to get passed them is to open them, blasted runes. Now this other wizard has done something. I remember bits of the conversations from that night. I remember the Banite… Selah’s Liaison. I hope she is safe… I have not seen her in a few days. I hope she heard enough of the rumors to be guarded against such things. I may not have been as guarded as I should have been, but at least was guarded enough to keep him distanced from Billy.

I recognized his voice. I asked him round about what he was up to. He showed me the tattoos on his face. Zhent markings. Banite markings. He insisted I would give Billy to the Bhaalists. A matter of time I suppose before those of Bane sought to aid Bhaal. Our exchange continued. He threatened poisoning water supplies. A banter of words and twisted promises and threats, of devout defiance. His face clearly revealed. Yet he did not attack, simply sat and spewed his veiled threats and cold demands. I drew strength from my faith wondering what he was truly up to as he spoke of plagues.

‘I will not kill people, but I will make them suffer pain like they have never felt. Will you be able to sleep knowing people suffer because of you? It is in your reach to end all of this.’

‘They suffer because of Bhaal. Because of people like you. They would suffer more if I surrender my oath to Ilmater to keep him safe!’

‘Will you watch people suffer?’

‘I will find a way to end it.’

‘Bhaal decided what will happen to the child.’

‘He is Mercy’s child!’

‘You can bring the child to their temple and end this.’

‘I will not. I cannot. Bhaal will -not- have him.’

Who can say what would come from the banter, if there were to be fighting or whatever end not yet sought. A spell came from the far side of the room and rendered me unable to move. A figure cloaked in magic and wards strode forward.

‘Alright Banite, I will take it from here!’

Darrien asked who he was, the wizard merely motioned him quiet and addressed me. All I could do in the grasp of the spell was glare and try to figure out how to get out of the fine mess I was in now.

‘So you think you can elude my grasp by hiding behind these walls, you foolish girl?’

He muttered some spell and I fought off the initial attack on my mind, which garnered curses under his breath.

‘So this is the mind that holds all the secrets?’

The malignant calculation in the smile, even beneath the shroud of his magic was evident. I thought I was in trouble before… Mercy of Ilmater how do I find such trouble? My mind was a tumble of thoughts and prayers, for once I hoped for one of the many who often linger about for my sake… even some of the fawning, would be suitors would be preferable to being alone with this pair.

‘Who are you?! My secrets will remain my own.’

Blast my luck. I couldn’t tell you how many prayers went through my mind then. I heard his curses… and it worried me… Thayan? I prayed not.

‘Search your mind. I am sure you know who I am.’

‘Forgive my poor memory.’

Not much of a retort, but given the situation, well… it conveyed my contempt well enough. He continued to speak.

‘Whether or not you know my identity is irrelevant. What matters is that your mind will be open for me to scrutinize. However now is not the time or the place.’

Darrien spoke and I realized the two did not know each other. I had thought that perhaps they were working together, why else would the Banite rumored to run the entire Banite cult reveal his face to me, and be so casual? But as he spoke, I knew that not the case. I do not believe in chance, every action has a purpose, even if it is shrouded to us at first.

‘What is it you want here anyway?’

Truly that is the last clear thing I remember. The wizard moved his hand in front of my eyes and began an incantation… I recognized the necromancy… I recognized very quickly that it was yet another seeking control of my thoughts, to bend my will that they may walk my thoughts, and I fought against it. I could feel the push of the magic against my own will. It pierced like a burning lance into my mind. Were it not for the spell that held me in place I likely would have crumpled to the floor then… Blackness. A familiar black, darkness wrapped in pain and a jumbling of thought. So many times has my mind been tread upon. I was all to familiar with the sensation of such things. It has given me tolerance to magics of the sort, but it has yet to make me impervious. Hind-sight would tell me I should have been warded, even to read a book… but it was too late for that.

I awoke some time later in the floor where I had stood. No idea how long I had been unconscious. I struggled to focus. The bleeding from my nose and ears was comparatively less than the aftermath of some attacks, and aside from being blindingly bad, was at least something I could eventually push through. The pair were talking… but I could not focus on the words. I could barely see through the spots dancing in front of my eyes. Their words came to me slowly, as through distance in a tunnel and I struggled against unconsciousness. The wizard spoke first.

‘You foolish child. Your doom is nigh, rest assured.’

He turned to the Banite and spoke of meeting him later, in a safer time and place for them to exchange details. Darrien’s response to the wizard gave me pause… When it rains… it pours.

‘Bhaalists are always welcome in -my- temple.’

There was more speaking between them, and the wizard made ready to take his leave.

‘…I will be seeing you soon again lass.’

The wizard left and the Banite regarded me again. My thoughts began to slowly focus, my vision cleared as I forced myself past the pounding in my ears. I found the will to stand, and got the bleeding to stop.

‘So weak are you…’

‘I endure fiend. None of you… None! None shall have that which is Mercy’s!’

I prayed it came not to blows. If it did I prayed Ilmater stood with me, as it were I was unsure if I could stand on my own.

‘You have plague waiting for you at the door. We will see how well you handle things from here.’

‘I will not falter. Save your threats.’

‘I am giving you a chance to end this. Save people or watch them rot in front of your eyes.’

‘You offer only death, and more death. I cannot waver. I will see this ended. In the end there is -only- Mercy.’

‘I could take you to the temple for torturing. Perhaps then your tongue would not dance with such courage in your mouth.’

I fought another wave of blackness and maintained a defiant stance. I readied myself as best I could for a fight I feared coming.

‘Answer me. How can the boy bring more death in Bhaalist hands?’

‘They will not have the boy. No good will come of it. No peace, and I am no fool.’

‘And you have peace now?’

‘Peace will find me when duty is done.’

‘I can end your duty now priestess.’

His malignant grin was met with my defiant glare.

‘You do not decide the measure of my duty!’

‘No but death does.’

‘Death is but a momentary pause. Duty continues.’

‘An interesting thought.’

And I could see in his eyes he considered testing it. I nearly well dared him to. At least then it could end this battle of words, and I would have leave to strike him. Still he did not draw his weapon. Maybe that was a blessing in its own. His fate was sealed. I remembered his face, his voice. There would be time to cross more than words before this is over with. For now I was in no shape to fight.

‘Have the boy, have the plague. It is in your power to end this. Bring the boy to the temple and it ends. Enjoy watching people suffer because of you.’

‘Because of -you-.’

‘Do not be a fool priestess. The faster you act the fewer will suffer.’

‘You won’t get away with it. You cannot expect me to believe that granting him will do naught but wring more blood from the coast.’

‘Do what you must…’

I stopped hearing his words as he spoke of plagues and deaths, a wave of nausea nearly overtook me, then a murmured thought took word:

‘Mercy will find you in swift death. If not by my hand, then that of another.’

‘You threaten me with my death?’

‘No threats.’

‘Hmmm good.’

‘Mercy will find you. Mercy finds all in one way or another.’

‘Do not speak of things you do not have control of.’

‘Mercy is in the Hands of Ilmater. I need not control anything, only know fact for what it is.’

‘Empty words. You had your warning. It is your responsibility now. Have a pleasant rest priestess.’

And with that he walked away. The last thing I remembered clearly before unconsciousness took hold was trying to leave the inn. Trying to find someone to warn. I redeemer thinking it wasn’t safe, even here in the keep. I summoned the energy remaining within me to stop the bleeding. As I felt my grasp of consciousness slip my last thought was to Ilmater.
Be with this humble servant…

Winthrop managed to get me on the couch and alert the guards… Balthis stood there, looking rather worried. Very little made much sense. The headache was still unbearable, but as needs must, it was endured. I spent the next couple of days piecing thoughts back together. Plans were made, defenses set in place. I stopped arguing the need for guards for myself. Its not just Billy and the people that need protecting now.

Take strength in faith. When all else fails, there is always hope, always faith… Always Mercy. In that I shall be content. I will not be such easy prey for my foes. It is time to speak with Maximus again. Now that more is known of our foes, perhaps a better executed attack is called for? Either way, we should press every advantage we have. After all, the enemy certainly isn’t pulling punches. Even if we must halt them one at a time. Mercy will Prevail, that which has been wronged will be mended and made right. In the mean time I need to talk to Sir Crownsilver, to Selah, and a number of others. I may not be able to land the first blow. Mercy willing I’ll land the last… We have not come so far to surrender now. There is no harm in treading carefully at least.
~~

[LeslieMS]

[ONEHUNDRED TWENTY-SECOND ENTRY]

The days have passed quietly since the attack at the inn. I went the day after the attack to speak with those that need know of it. I could not find Selah, and that worries me. I have not seen Weavemaster Goodmane since the day on the road. No one else has seen him either, but that is perhaps because they do not know what to look for. I pray he is well and has not been slain by one who does not examine the circumstances before striking. The heavens know that I have seen many that would kill without knowing the truth first hand. Still to find both he and Selah, and get each of them right and proper may take some work.

I spoke at great length with Sir Crownsilver while in Baldur’s Gate. I felt it prudent to complete as many errands as I could in one run. Despite the misgivings of many in regards to the Fist, and specifically the differences of many opinions in regard to Sir Crownsilver, I find him a decent man. Odd enough to say that I know the man’s soul better than the man himself. Though it is truth. Our first meeting was hardly an ideal one. Though my presence in that cell brought about more good than naught. From his death to his eventual resurrection, I watched his soul grow and learn of Mercy. I watched as vengeance was turned aside for justice, hate was turned aside for forgiveness. Watched him fight for his own internal redemption. I was pleasantly surprised to see him walking the streets of Baldur’s Gate alive and well.

Lately our conversations have been of the many troubles. He has offered both aid and protections during a time when I have great need of it. As my enemies are made known to him, he has also promised to see that the law is extended to them. This on top of other such efforts will hopefully keep me in one piece for a great enough length of time to gather together what allies remain. He has been most supportive. A mercy I am glad for. I have few allies these days, those that have not been turned by death, fear, or doubt.

I wonder how many letters actually arrived asking for aid. I have sent so many, and so few have answered. I know the Bhaalists have intercepted several, so I have sent several. I wonder further still how many have sent those willing to aid only to have them turned away by Sister Abby, or in the least turned against me. That woman’s doubt and lack of understanding will be the poison that ruins us if I am not careful. Her lack of faith and understanding. I have seen ones that I had hoped would be allies shun me for standing against the Bhaalists. Sister Abby and those who stand with her believe all those months ago that I should have caved and not stood defiant. Had I done that they would have already burnt the sanctuary to the ground, and the hungry, sick and weary would have nothing. They think this a matter of pride, or of self inflicted suffering. They are fools. If I had not stood, those dead would still be dead, though the reasoning would be different. Billy would likely already be the manifest of Bhaal and the whole of the Coast would run red with blood of innocent lives cruelly slain. I pray those who answer my call for aid are not so easy to sway as the fellow that came to the inn today. Mercy of Ilmater, forgive them their blind doubt. If there is a way to halt this spread of disdain directed at me, it would make keeping allies easier.

Speaking of disdain, I was unprepared for the contempt exuded from a fellow Ilmatari, and as our conversation continued I began to understand why, even if I felt it misdirected. Another difficulty to this oath, to be turned away and spurned by one’s fellows. Still I must act as I am bid. My faith is my strength, and at least I do not stand alone in this. His tone was curt, his mannerism spoke volumes where his words were silent. I handled it as best as I could. I was careful not to let his ill emotion infect my heart. I will not lie, it weighs on me heavily. To be turned from that place which has been as home as much as any, to be treated as the enemy by those who should be allies… it is difficult. I will endure it, though I pray for some way to overcome this.

‘Merielle. I trust all is well here?’

‘As well as it can be.’

‘The boy is well?’

‘He is safe.’

‘That is well. I am just checking in for Sister Abby. Do you need anything from the shrine?’

Even as he asked, I could tell in his body language and tone that my wants or needs were the furthest thing from his mind. I wondered, had Billy not been safely away from the inn, and sleeping, if he would not have snatched him from me then. I set aside the maps and letters and such. Paused in my planning to stop them long enough to regard the man standing before me.

‘I am well supplied, though I will be sending more food soon.’

‘We are in need of aid. You are aware I am assuming?’

I blinked at his tone. Implying that I am blind to the sufferings of those in temple. I had heard of the murders of patrons. While I suspected Bhaal’s ilk were not involved, it did concern me. To think I cared not for it, as his attitude implied… it was painful. Sharp words can wound as deeply as any blade, and I prepared myself for yet another painful conversation.

‘I am. I have sent some offering aid to the temple. They should arrive soon. One of which is particularly good at finding that which is unseen. From what I hear that may be the most useful.’

‘It may indeed. Is the person you are sending Ilmatari?’

I nearly asked if that truly mattered. What sort of question is that? People are dying and again they want to argue fundamentals and principals. Ilmater forgive my frustration! If the Drow and the Bhaalists, or the Banites, the Thayans, the angry nobles, the power-hungry seekers… if they do not drive me to madness, people’s narrow mindedness will.

‘Tormite.’

‘That is well. I am satisfied with the situation here. I will be back again. If the boy needs anything, let us know. I will be back to see to his needs--’

I could have remained silent. Let him walk his path and let him keep his anger for what it was, but instead I cut him short. The contempt pouring from him was wholly undeserved and destructive at best. At worst most unbecoming of an aspiring Ilmatari. So I searched my heart and my faith and with the patience of my whole, I spoke.

‘Despite what the Bhaalists would have you think, I am not the cause for the strife, but they. Not all are meant to walk the same paths.’

‘Well I can see that to a degree but…’

My smile and my tone remained patient and I spoke, unwilling to give doubt purchase.

‘Do you know why they chose me? Why they chose Billy? Because they could have targeted Lathander, Tyr, Torm, Helm, any of the light. Do you know why they chose Ilmater?’

‘I do not. In truth I do not know if it is my place to know.’

‘You are Ilmatari? It is your place as much as my own.’

‘I am not, only a layman. A servant to the church but not worthy of the title Ilmatari.’

Bah! More technicality! So I drew from the patience that is Mercy and continued despite his ill looks.

‘Your god is the same as my god. We stand on the same side against the same enemy.’

Though his look spoke otherwise he held his tongue and I continued onward. Somehow they must understand why things have happened as such, why I stood, why I still stand. It might not be enough to get through this narrow-minded prejudice I deal with, but I had to try.

‘We were chosen because at the time, there were three of us, and we were undermining their efforts to frighten people. I am the only one of the three who still stand. My punishment for doing as my god bids is to lose a child of my own and have the other plagued. Were it my place to disobey and go against the wishes of Ilmater, I would not be here. Our sanctuary burned to the ground and the coast run red with blood. Hate me for it if you must, because my path is not yours or any others. I will bear you no ill for it.’

His expression softened slightly, if only that and brief as it was.

‘I hate you not, only question your motives… You are in disobedience to your church!’

I looked levelly at him, I spoke with great care and patience, though in truth I wanted to scream. I spoke measured and remained calm.

‘I am -in- obedience to my god and my training. My vows are not against the church sir. There are many ways to stand in service to Ilmater. I act with the interests of as many as possible in mind. You need not raise your voice to me sir.’

‘Such things are subjective, which is why we have church law. The law provides us with comfort in times such as these.’

I heard the voice of Ilmater bid me patience. Misguided as he was, this man before me was no enemy. Anger is destructive, and I let my own anger go.

‘I have broken no laws of the church.’

‘Not the letter but the intent.’

‘I follow the command as Ilmater himself has given me.’

‘Sister Abby is the head of our shrine. Chief priestess in the region. Mother to us all, as ordained by His hand. You disregard her wisdom.’

‘Sister Abby was not here when this trouble started nor is she Ilmater himself. Ilmater’s commands come first. If she wishes me separate from the temple entirely then so be it, but I will not disobey him. I will not put aside an oath to my god simply because she has a distaste for something she does not understand. I will not turn from my duty because of her or any other’s doubts.’

‘I am uncertain the source of your dreams. I know not if they are from his tears, your pride or a bad meal. I will indeed protect you for all are worthy of Mercy. Perhaps you and I may see eye to eye some day.’

‘The doubt of many will be the means by which we are defeated. I pray you have the strength of heart and faith to see such before the end of this. Either way I stand as I am bid, until I am bid to do otherwise.’

‘I have faith in my church, and my god and law. I wish you well truly. But I fear you are falling down a dangerous path. Pride is a twisted road--’

‘Pride sir? I assure you my pride has nothing to do with this.’

‘I disagree. It is humility that submits to the church.’

I sensed little more good will come of our speaking without divine intervention of sorts, so I sought to draw it to a close.

‘We are not enemies, but I will not sit here and argue what I know is right by my God. I have letters to write and forces to gather if we are to tear that blasted temple to the ground. May your faith give you strength. I submit to a God sir, not a building. I submit to Ilmater and no other. Be well.’

‘Very well then. I shall be on my way. Good day. I shall be in from time to time. Keep your eyes open, and try to open your heart.’

‘My heart was never closed…’

Whether he heard my response or believed it, I cannot say. It weighs me heavily that there is so much doubt from within the ranks of Ilmater’s faithful. My prayers are that they will be opened to that which we face, that they understand. In the meanwhile, I stand, be it alone or with Sister Abby and the others at my side. I bear them no ill, for they act without understanding fully. They operate on what their hearts understand. They cannot be faulted for such a thing. The right of it all will be made known in time. In time the threats against Mercy will fall, and in that I can find contentment. I only wish we could stand on the same sides against our foes. Perhaps we will yet. Patience.

Preparations continue. It has been some time since Baenund has sent slave trackers to drag me back. The eyes and ears from the shadows whisper my way, subtle warnings. The threat is not immediate, but I should be watchful. Watchful I remain. No word from the wizard either. I suppose I should be grateful for the silence. Instead I worry what danger it holds. As I plan attacks, and gather allies, I cannot assuage the fear that the enemy does the same thing. So passes uneasy silence. The days are punctuated by uneasy sleep filled with nightmares of what was, and what yet might be… and I pray. I pray with such reverence and fervor. I stand on Faith, Hope, and a pot or two of tea… Ah, so long as my faith and my humor remain in tact, I will endure this. I will find my peace. In that I am content. Mercy will prevail. There is no end but this. Mercy is in all things, to all people in one measure or another.
~~

[LeslieMS]

[ONEHUNDRED TWENTY-THIRD ENTRY]

Things seldom go as planned. That much is always true. Today was no exception. So the plan was to seek Selah and Sister Abby at the temple. I was to inquire about the end to Selah’s blindness. No one I have asked has spoken with Wavemaster Elias either. This worries me in and of itself. Yes. Right. Concentrate Meri. The trip into Baldur’s Gate was quiet. Ian and I wasted no time as we moved forward, and passed the Bhaalist stronghold. Before long we found ourselves on the outskirts of Baldur’s Gate.

There was a large group gathered. More troubling still were the shapes seen looming over the city and to the north. There were whispers of trouble. My aid was asked, and I was willing to supply it. We followed the shadows as they moved northward. I prepared what protections I could. We readied ourselves as we watched the winged beasts land in the distance. Dragons.

The fighting was fierce enough. It was difficult to keep so many on their feet. The undead in the barrows only served to complicate the task. Still the dragons fell. There was not time to count victory in our favor. Much to the horror of all present, a necromancer raised the dragon. Dracolich. Foul beasts of death magic. Prized beasts of the Cult of the Dragon, and bane to any who walk among the living. This was when the real test of battle prowess would come to pass.

There were several who fell. The battle passed in a blur of blood and screams. The din of spell and sword, of armor and bone was deafening. We fought well enough, for in the end the beast and the necromancer fell. As we gathered together again, battered and bruised, the fallen were recalled. Spent from battle we stood wary, but alive. All of us. Even as we left the Fields of the Dead, I could not help but worry. This was the second such undead dragon I had faced in the span of months, and the third I knew of. I hoped this was not to become an epidemic of sorts. There are enough troubles on the coast…

Sadly Selah and Sister Abby were not present at the temple, so I left word with Brother Marcus and the Sisters that I wished to speak with her. As I left the city Sir Jonas and Sir Balthis met me on the road just outside of the city. Unfortunately so did the chastising ‘Layman’. I held my tongue in spite of him raising his voice again. I have worries enough without self-righteous types thinking they know my path better than my own feet or the God who walks it at my side. I have trouble enough without getting yelled at by my fellows. Yet I could bear him little ill. I could not simply because it is the way of Mercy to forgive those trespasses even as they come to bear weight.

The walk back to the keep was mostly quiet. Until of course Mister Ashall lost his temper at the gate and went his way. I took advantage of the brief respite. I say brief because it did not take long before he returned. Once again I found myself defending my faith against harsh words and crass misunderstanding. Ilmater forgive me my temper, for I let his words edge away at my patience. I let his raised voice and angry words poison my own calm. I yelled back. I was ‘some random girl who hears voices’ and other such harsh words.

I know my place. I know my faith. I know the commands I have been given. I was not disobedient as he accused. Of course I was disobedient in his eyes because I did not bend to his commands, or to Sister Abby or any other. I was -obedient- to Ilmater and none other. Never again shall I be obedient to any master or mistress. I am no longer bound. I am no longer slave. I willingly serve Ilmater. The willing servant who does as bid without heavy heart. He can yell all he like. It does not change my oath, it does not change my task. While I can’t stand the man, I cannot hate him either. None the less his words drew me to anger.

I was quite surprised as our exchange continued, to find Wythran standing next to him. The acidity of the elf was far preferred to the crassness of the man before me. At least the Elf could see reason. Further shock was that he stood in my defense, as did the others who found their way to the inn. Drawn no doubt to the place by the shouting within. The verbal battle did not last long, though as he departed, tempers were quite riled.

I had been vaguely aware of something being placed in my hand. A ring, similar to the one the elf wore. A silent show of support, or a symbol of friendship? Who could truly say, save for him, and he did not take the time to do so yet. In time perhaps. The small gesture, coupled with his support lent me strength enough. In fact the support of the others saved me from frustrated tears. Blast them all! Anger and doubt are poison! Tools of the enemy. No doubt the Bhaalists thrilled at the strife from within the ranks of the Ilmatari. Even thus, it took two pots of scalding tea before I felt its warmth, before my irritation quelled.

Later that evening Valerius attempted to unravel the magic about me. It did not have the effect we had hoped, whatever that blasted wizard had done remained in tact. Still, it did clarify a few memories. I was reminded the conversation I had with Miss Saar. That book she had the drawing of… it was familiar… Instructions? Written by the demons perhaps on how to place souls into the Soulkeep? Terrifying to think it could be in someone’s hands. She spoke of the demon. The Unbound one. Did he have a hand in the creation of the foul thing? Its possible, the demons aided the necromancer who created it, only because they intended to use it as a means to harvest souls. Souls. The currency of the Abyss and the Hells. The allure of immortality used as a means to trick the greedy, while those demons get rich on the death and strife that comes naturally to those who lust for power…

I must keep my faith and my hope strong. Faith is strength, hope is light, to endure is to find peace. Mercy is in all things, in the end of all things, and to all who exist in some measure or another. In the end there is only Mercy… The Mercy of Ilmater will prevail. I will stand as I am bid. I will see these things set right, the wrongs mended. Blessed am I, that I do not stand alone, for if I dared step without Ilmater’s guidance, surely I would fall… If I dared stand without those dear and true to me and to my cause, surely I would fail. Always there is hope. Peace will find me… if not in this life, in the death that follows. Someday, those lost to Bhaal will be reclaimed. The Soulkeep will plague none no further. In the meanwhile, we endure. I will not falter. I cannot waver. There is no end but this.
~~

[LeslieMS]

///
Props to the bad guys today! Knightmare, Sin, it was a pleasure gents. Sorry the entry lacks quotes to some of the epic Good VS Evil dialogue [darn reset! Curse you for cheating me my screenshots] Still I hope this post is a fitting tribute to my present enemies. I look forward to seeing you join Rattson [Rest in Pieces you Bhaalist Hin... you will always be my favorite.] HAHAHA. My Mother's Day present was no diaper changes all day and the pleasure of the day with you wonderful folks, good guys and bad guys alike.
As Seadin put it: Happy Mother's Day Leslie! You get Kidnapped!
Had a blast today darlings!
///

[ONEHUNDRED TWENTY-FOURTH ENTRY]

I end the day with my faith and purpose reaffirmed and a new scar. It runs from just below my temple to nearly the center of my jaw bone, tracing the curve of my face. It is no longer painful, though still tender, likely permanent. A reminder of the purpose behind my path. A reminder of the enemy I face. Some things, though better forgotten, are not meant to be. This is one of those things. It is a trespass that will not go unpunished. The Bhaalists’ boldest move yet. How they pulled it off is still not entirely understood, but it matters not. One moment I was enjoying morning tea after a bit of rest, chatting with Ian, and the next I was in the cursed depths of the Bhaalist fortress.

The wizard was there, as was the priest that made his appearance at the inn and in my room previously. There were two hulking demon looking things and a number of priests and disciples. At first I was blind. I could hear only voices. I could feel the cruel darkness of that place inch along my skin and my thoughts. I was bound to a post before I could react. I felt acid laden robes lain over me. Sensitive as my skin is, it was painful, but I have suffered worse. I pushed the pain away from my thoughts and sought focus as I wondered what was going on about me. Slowly the blindness faded. The two stood before me, eyeing me as a rabid dog eyes a meal. They spoke with the haughty arrogance of cowards content their prey secure. The smell of blood was so strong I could taste it as surely as I had bit my tongue. Foul chanting echoed through the halls and assaulted my thoughts as I tried to clear my mind.

They spoke in turn, or at the same time. Words blurred with anger and pain, meant to strike fear and confusion. I drew strength from my faith. I countered their words with the wisdom of Ilmater. Each death they attempted to lay at my feet, each lie they spun I countered. The hours passed in slow procession punctuated by cruel laughter as I worked to hold my concentration. The pair were powerful. I took comfort in the fact that no matter what they did I did not suffer alone. I knew with each stinging movement where the acid burned my skin, that Ilmater stood with me. His strength my own. His wisdom my weapon. Hope my light in the darkness.

They spoke of those who had died at their hands. The children. They conjured the images of children and the priest began to slay them before my eyes. The screams of them… the blood. Tricks! Tricks and lies! I told myself over and over. Still I agonized at the thought of each one. Knowing for every illusion there was a child buried, dead at Bhaal’s command. The torments were paused by the arrival of the others, searching for me.

For a moment I was afraid they would be tortured and killed slowly for my benefit, but my prayers did not go unheard. After a long and tense bit of banter, they left. I know they would have fought for me then, but they would have died. I was sure that the enemy overall would not be victorious, but I also knew for them to summon be -from within- Candlekeep their power was not some trifling thing. They held my life over the others. The wizard moved close and lay his blade across my throat. I did not flinch as I felt the cold metal on my skin. I pleaded with Ian and the others to go back, to keep Billy safe. I felt the wizard draw his blade across my throat. It was a careful and slow cut, not deep, but painful. I blinked through the pain and focused on the others, taking a slow breath only when the door closed and locked with them on the other side.

The priest came forward then and spoke. He and the wizard shared more cruel words at my expense. I could feel the blood trickling from the wound at my throat. While each pain was not great, coupled with hunger, hours of strain and thirst, it was beginning to drain me. I found it harder to counter their words and arguments. Hard, but not impossible. I was unprepared for the priest’s boned hand reaching up to my face. He touched the skin at the level of my ear and he traced a slow and anguished path down the edge of my face stopping in the middle of my jaw line. The chilled pain was dizzying, and with that barest touch he drew blood. They laughed at my expense, and I nearly hated them for it.

Still I took comfort in that for all their power, they could not take Billy. Indeed the priest had been close enough to pin a note to his bed as he slept, and they could recall me at a whim, but they could not take him. I need only stand, I need only endure and keep him safe. Death does not end duty. Sworn to oath. I would not falter. The others left, and I had no doubt they would bring back a force en masse.

Still my captors, while lousy hosts and poor conversationalists were not fools. There was much conversation on how next to act, and the hours passed bit by bit. They spoke of making a martyr of me as the acid slowly sunk into my skin. The robes soaked in the stuff. It was not a strong acid, but over the span of time I was exposed to it, it was quite unpleasant. They decided to move me someplace else, so that when the others attacked the temple it would be for naught. The wizard yanked me from the post, the ropes and acid cutting into my wrists as he dragged me toward a portal. My body was weak but my senses were not dulled. I could hear the din of battle behind me as we stepped through the portal. They were above us, and a moment too late…

The priest stayed behind to lead the battle, and the wizard kept me -company- . The place we found ourselves in was eerily quiet. It was dark and still. Two more hulking creatures to guard, a raised platform with a throne overlooking what appeared to be a temple of sorts. By now faith and hope and anger fueled me. My retorts were bitter and sharp. The wizard was amused by this second wind. He fed nonsensical lies about Billy’s lineage and purpose, and I refused to give it sway. Our banter continued until the wizard realized he could no longer speak circles around me. He left me standing there. The cold silence was deafening in that place with none other than the two hulking demons to keep me company. They were not chatty sorts however, and I found my prayers and thoughts more entertaining.

I shrugged and wriggled my way from the acid laden robes only to find that the chill air on my raw skin was just as painful. How long had it been? At least most of the day before they moved me, plus a few hours since… I forced myself calm. The shaking stopped by nothing other than will alone. I clenched my jaw to stop the chattering of my teeth and ran prayers through my mind. In my mind’s eye I saw that expanse of daisies. The sweeping meadow with the scent of wildflowers and the ephemeral calm that followed as I sought refuge in meditation. I willed my body whole. I could feel Ilmater’s steadying hand at my back. I drew peace from it. Strength from my faith. I had nearly regained myself fully when I felt a tightness around my stomach. For lack of a better term I felt myself being dragged through nothingness and everything all at once.

I was haunted by the vision of a man… in a truly terrifying spectacle sacrificing himself for my sake at the behest of some unnamed thing. I could glimpse faintly the battle and the pain that surrounded the place and as the man fell to his own blade there I stood in his place… an odd vision. I would find out later there was more truth to it than not. Also I would find later the man alive, through what force I would not understand then or now as I write. I pray it is Mercy that granted him reprieve from death, for it was mercy that delivered him to death for my sake. This stranger who would shed his blood for my sake… I owe him a greater debt than I could repay.

Next thing I knew I was standing amid my fellows back in the Bhaalist fortress. There was hardly time to contemplate the whole of it. There had been a lot of fighting. My allies stood and my enemies did not, save the face of the bone-handed priest and the wizard… the others lay dead. I was dazed, weakened and confused, but alive. My hands no longer bound, I tended the worst of my wounds, I lay prayers over the fallen. Wounds were mended hastily as a sense of urgency compelled us forward. The whole temple shook. We feared collapse over top of us. Though for the whole accursed place to topple was more than I dared hope for.

I barely had time to register faces of those present. Though there was a shadow present I did not expect to see, and the others mercilessly let him alone. Slowly we moved from the shadow of the Bhaal temple. My steps labored and my thoughts tripping over themselves, I had barely reached the road when the fool so fond of lecturing me began to chastise me again. Ilmater forgive my temper. Never have I spoken as such to any before. The stress of so many hours in the hands of Bhaal’s faithful, and the irritation of his words. This fool of a man who thinks he knows better than I my own faith. A faith he himself lacks. The exerted effort from returning his venom magnified by my own peril. Any healer with a clear head would recognize shock. I shook, I could barely move. The wound on my face, though closed was still a chill, dull ache. My skin raw and tender, my muscles weak and rubbery, and still I found the strength to less than politely defend my faith.

In truth looking back he only barely smarted off about me running about. I responded with a raised voice and defensive position. My words were harsh and angry. Perhaps I misdirected my anger at the Bhaalists on him. Were I of clearer mind I might not have yelled at all. But I was not, and I did not. Later after a long and slow walk back to Candlekeep I would offer forward my apologies for such. I was relieved upon reaching the keep to hear that Billy was safe. I made my way weakly to the inn and sank into the nearest chair. Had no chair been available I would have likely sat in the floor just as comfortably. Ian brought tea, but even the scalding liquid… several cups of it in fact… could not burn the chill from my bones.

I was starting to recover my strength when Emrys came in. Mister Ashall came over again, I feared to lecture me further. Fortunately I didn’t have to worry about his lecturing at first. Emrys, on hearing what had happened, decided to storm off to the temple. I left Mister Ashall to speak with Maximus. It took some pleading to keep Emrys from going to the Bhaalist temple alone, but fortunately he heeded my wisdom, and my pleas as a friend. When we returned to the inn Maximus and Mister Ashall were still speaking at length.

If after this night the man is not convinced that I am no falsity of faith, no random girl who hears voices… then there is no saving him from his own foolishness. Emrys and Maximus spoke in my defense, I offered quiet wisdoms of my own when appropriate. Still he argued so sure I was some twist of blasphemy. Even with Ilmater himself seeking purchase in the man’s heart he argued. I was amazed to find out I was defending my faith and principle against a man who did not even know Ilmater’s dogma, Ilmater’s basic commands. Indeed he followed not the god, but the cleric by his own words… He who seeks to tell me of my faith when he knows not of it. He cried of law, and spoke of the wisdom of Sister Abby as if it were dogma of Ilmater. Placed a mortal follower above the god himself which astounded me. No doubt if Sister Abby knew of this she too would be surprised for, while our opinions differ, we both no better than to place ourselves above the God we serve.

The conversation went on. I showed him the items Ilmater himself had given me to help me in my task. He then named me a temptress sent to sway him with trinkets. Even as the hand of Ilmater bathed me in light and the voice of Ilmater spoke to him he doubted. Doubt is such poison. This man is dangerous in his folly. I hope Sister Abby can reason with him where I can not. I fear he has take what small shred of doubt Sister Abby held and twisted it into its own monstrosity. My heart breaks for him, and I prayed mercy would find him before it was too late.

Long after he stormed off in a confused and convoluted huff, Maximus and Emrys and I, albeit intermittently, discussed faith in general. I took strength from their support. What ever I lack, Mercy of Ilmater, I have been blessed with allies who can take up the slack. Together… Together we will see the Bhaalist threat ended. Reckoning would come to them. Mercy would find them in swiftest death, their fortress would fall and -we- would endure. Mercy would prevail. Blessed I am, in my allies, for with they and my faith, never do I walk my path alone. Finally Emrys sought rest and Maximus made his way back to the temple of Tyr.

It was soon simply Jade and I, quiet conversation in the now still inn. We chatted pleasantly. Her cheery disposition lightening my own mood. My strength slowly returning, my wounds mending in the quiet rest, save for the scar that now ran the length of my face. She noticed the smoke before I did. She asked if something was aflame in the kitchen. However Winthrop was not cooking. It did not smell of burning, it was not acrid or unpleasant at all. In fact it was strangely… calming. We had nearly given up pondering the cause of it when there was a bright flash. All at once we stood in the presence of a winged celestial. Mercy’s Angel stood before us. Jade was quick to take her customary place hidden beneath my cloak with a startled yelp.

Never before had I stood in the presence of such a creature. I stood reverent and silent for I knew it was an extension of Ilmater’s will that drew the magnificent being before me. As I stood trying to reassure Jade, and blinking wide-eyed it spoke.

‘Hello dear Sister Merielle. It has been a long day for you.’

It is hard to put to words the presence this celestial commanded. His voice held the same soothing quality as Ilmater’s though to a lesser extent. It was still a balm to my very soul. I regarded it with reverence for it was an extension of Ilmater himself. A divination granted me by the Broken One himself. I was humbled and spoke quietly.

‘A survivable one.’

‘Fear not child, for His Mercy will not see you a martyr. The child will never feel the pain you have endured. His soul -will- be free of all evil if you can stay the course.’

‘I will not waver.’

‘As is why you were -Chosen-.’

‘A title I hope yet to earn.’

‘Your Faith is your Strength, and Mercy ever your guide. Do not be tempted by the wills of men. Ilmater sends me with his Blessings. You have shown yourself deserving of being Favored. While others doubt you must be strong.’

‘I will not let doubt sway me. Though I fear doubt will poison and destroy those who give it sway. I do not wish to stand opposite my fellows in any fashion further…’

He gave me a reassuring smile. In his eyes he simply stated that I would not stand opposite them for long. I took great comfort in that. He spoke once more before he departed, his words lending me strength, and granting me some renewal of spirit, which in turn renewed the body and mind. I felt whole.

‘Mercy be yours Sister… And yours…’

He looked around me directly at Jade where he hid and called her by name with a wry wink. I had no idea that such creatures possessed humor, but if laughter is its own mercy, then it makes sense. With that he faded from sight. After a few moments Jade emerged from her hiding place. Soon thereafter we took a brief walk and I reflected as the moon danced across the sea. I found peace. A smile stood on not only my face, but my soul. I would not falter. I would not waver. I would see this through. We would Endure and Mercy would prevail. I saw so clearly no other end that it was as good as fact, as sure as the breath I drew. There is no end but this.

After the moon rose high above us I felt exhaustion settle in on my body. I needed sleep, so we made our way back to the keep from the beach. It did not take long for sleep to find me, and surprisingly the nightmares I feared never came. The hours passed restfully. I write now, so sure in my duty. Hope renewed, faith shored and strengthened in such a way I feared not the enemy. I know my duty. I know my path. I do not walk it alone, or apart from my god. There is much to do, and I feel ready to see it done. Mercy keep them all who are dear to me, all who are dear to this cause. Mercy to those who have need of it. Mercy in swiftest death to those who would withhold it from others. In the end there is only Mercy… in that I am content.
~~

[LeslieMS]

[ONEHUNDRED AND TWENTY-FIFTH ENTRY]

Today was a day of peace in more ways than one. It was a day for much needed rest and reflection. The pain of my less than polite conversations the day before are all but passed. I fear the lengths they will go to get to Billy. I must be wary. We must be ready. Maximus sends word that the Knights of the Triad are ready to move. The knights of many other faiths have pledged to the cause. As have the Elves, many friends, even many strangers, all able and each with different skills that will prove useful when the time comes, all stand ready to see the Bhaalist threat ended. There are still some things to situate first. A good deal of coordination yet to do, but one of the bigger hurdles I wished to leap beforehand has been passed.

Sister Abby and I have made peace. Finally her eyes open to the works at hand, finally her doubts are assuaged. It was refreshing to converse with her and not argue. My heart took great comfort in it. No longer can the enemy use division within the temple against us. Also the one plaguing the temple with death seems to have been halted. I understand little, of it and apart from what aid I could offer, I have left it to Sister Abby’s hands. I must say though, given the circumstance, it was nice to work -with- her. Our paths differ, but willing servants of Ilmater we both are. Our skills compliment each other, and now that doubt and defensiveness no longer our attitudes to each other, our ideals compliment as well.

There is peace at the temple again. Hope’s light burns brightly on the horizon. Seeing that while Billy may be safe, I am not… I have stopped hiding behind the keep’s walls. I have resumed my walks, I keep close to the keep of course, just in case there is trouble. The looming structure of Candlekeep hardly leaves my sight. I still stay in at night if I can. I still travel guarded. Now I keep in place wards to protect my mind better, but I am content that Billy is safe. Billy is safe, and while I cannot say the same for myself, I know come what may, I will endure. I walk my path with Ilmater at my side. I walk my path with a great number of allies, and dear friends. Together we will see this through, and I take greatest comfort in that.

After much conversing and debating, even yelling between Mister Ashall and I, it was as I suspected. Once Sister Abby saw things as they were, she was able to speak with him. He addressed me as Sister that evening. I am glad we are no longer fighting. It is a mercy I had not expected so swiftly, but I am grateful for it all the same. He asked my forgiveness, which of course he already had. I bore none of them any ill, least of all Sister Abby or Mister Ashall. Mercy is many things. It is easing of pain, it is a second chance, it is forgiveness, it is compassion in all forms, simple kindness and basic peace. I pray he sees such. He feels he has grieved me so greatly that he will not look me in the eye. He also seems to think it is his place to serve, though I wish he would offer his service to Ilmater and not solely to myself. I ask for allies and dear friends, not those who feel bound. I am no greater than any other despite the titles and such. I am but Mercy’s willing servant. Perhaps someday we will truly see -eye to eye- he and I.

In the mean time Billy speaks of someday joining one of the Knightly Orders, he learns of the herbs and things that heal and mend. Such a strong and wonderful child. This boy, forced to grow beyond his years by a burden he should not have to carry. Mercy and wisdom has cooled his anger, Mercy and love keeps him strong. His faith grows. Still I know how dear I have become to his heart, and he to mine. Fortunately he has yet to ask of the scar on my face… I fear the truth would send him to another rage. I must take care, for if he goes with vengeance in his heart to see our enemies, they will snatch him away and I will find myself standing before Bhaal himself to reclaim something nearly more dear to me than my own soul. They will -not- have him, even if I must call down all the heavens to keep him.

A conversation in passing as I sought out Sister Abby reminded me though that the Bhaalists are not my only problem. Reminded me that the blasted Soulkeep will haunt me until its destruction. Reminded me that there are far too many who know of it. If I am ever to find peace and be truly free of it the amulet must be destroyed. In the mean time, it has forced me between many questionable choices. Some days I feel I am merely choosing the lesser of many evils, and I pray that I do not become so ensnared by one or the other. It is dangerous to walk such paths. Hells on one side the Abyss on the other, in the end of it, well, it comes down to who has the most coin, the most drive… who will call the bluff, who will raise the bet. Power is a dangerous thing. There are those who have it, those who seek it, and those who fear it. I feel some days I am the vertex of it all. As memories slowly unravel one constant thought remains, and is no doubt an important piece of the puzzle. Over and over I am called Key…

The Servant is the Map, the Servant is the Key…
The Obsidian Door to Blackest Eternity…

I sense that there is a third line. But that line is hidden. Buried in runes, in dark forgotten paths of my own mind, and it is that line, or any lines there after that will complete the riddle perhaps… or perhaps it is another means of the Blasted Thayan to obscure the secret held within? Who can say but he, and he is dead. Who can know by I, and I do not wish to know… Still I must. If ever to be free of it, I must know. I must seek, I must take, and I must see it destroyed. None should have such a foul thing. It is a perversion even to Necromancy, and necromancy itself is a foul perversion to start with.

Do they realize the power they seek is nothing more than a trick? That they are little more than souls in a demon’s pocket. Immortality of sorts… A thinly veiled lie, for as soon as you don the foul thing you are no longer your own. It offers a means to cheat death… but not freedom. All who lust for it will find when it is too late the only thing they really gain is slavery as currency in the Abyss. Still those who seek such power can do much damage in the time the steal with the amulet.

So the question is: Do I deal with demons or devils, and at what cost? What cost indeed. Mercy of Ilmater please be with me… Let me not misstep for if I do I damn more than myself. I fear the whispers of the shadows. I fear the whispers that reach other ears. The narrow minded, the quick tempered. Those who do not understand, those who cannot, those who do not guard closely their secrets. If the Bhaalist threat were passed, and I knew my soul not bound to that abyssal-cursed thing, I would end my life just to keep its secret. The past though has proven that impossible. So long as the Master seeks the Amulet, so long as the Demons wish their souls and the geas remains… I am doomed to guard its secret, and reveal it to those who can walk the path. Fortunately the geas does not bind me to surrender the amulet to the one who seeks. Let them seek it… let me take it up from its resting place and destroy it. In the mean time I dance dangerously between one curse or another, one evil or the other… and at this rate the narrow passage will collapse.

Still there is hope. I refuse to believe that I have walked all this way… suffered so… just to fail in any of it. I refuse to believe that I will not find my peace. I will. Mercy will prevail. There is no other end but Mercy’s because Mercy is in the end of -all- things in some measure or another. Until then May He Who Endures lend me strength, and keep his hand at my back. Steady me my lord. Guide my steps. Let me not walk alone, as never you have, and I will see it through. Faith is strength and hope is light. I know this, and I will not falter.
~~

[LeslieMS]

[ONEHUNDRED AND TWENTY-SIXTH ENTRY]

Finally I sit here, quill in hand. So many words. So much said, more left unsaid. Exchanges of words that make or break alliances. More often than not I find myself sifting through the words of others, seeking some hidden meaning. Some clue missed in simple conversation? A threat? A promise? A warning? Who can say. Who can say by the end of the conversation that all need hearing is heard, all needs saying is said? Sometimes it is madness to try to keep up with it all. So many speakers, so few listeners… well I can’t say that. Everywhere they listen from the shadows. I almost laugh when someone asks to speak in private. If ever I had a truly quiet moment… A moment I was truly safe… I wouldn’t know what to do with it. All the better for it I suppose. If I ever had a moment where I were truly safe, and it were truly quiet… I would likely be standing on Mount Martyrdom with no other than the hosts of the House of the Triad to keep me company. For now I shall have to content in that duty will come to close completed, oaths fulfilled, Mercy at the end of all things… I will know peace.

The creature that attacked Arivian has yet to make another reappearance, though the damage has already been done. A good portion of his memories remain lost to him. I know just how difficult that is. To have no knowledge of the span of moments… in this case it sounds like months. His memory loss is beyond my skill. His headache still persists. Well less so thanks to Rai’s moment of mercy. Despite her faults and even her misgivings there may well be hope for that one yet… somehow. I may not be a nimble fingered sneak, but she managed to get the headache remedy into his bottle of wine easy enough. It did seem to help even if it didn’t wholly escape his notice, he seemed forgiving of the slight. Still I am curious of the creature responsible for his troubles. It clearly is psionic in nature. I had thought myself well acquainted with such things, still it seems one creature the Matron did not try to tear away my mind with… I wonder what shall be required to make whole the bard?

He is a capricious flirt, and Joan saw fit to warn me of such. I could not help but laugh. If my will was easily swayed by gilded words and well place compliments I would be in all manner of trouble. Fortunately it is not. I suspect however that does not keep them from trying. Maybe my newest scar will serve to deter some of the would be suitors? Let them try if it amuses them. It matters not. Joan worries over me, but she needn’t. I can honestly say after much thought that my heart is in my duty for the moment. Any inklings of romance or frivolity that might tug at my heart is presently tugging from Amn… I pray he is well in the care of that demon of a man calling himself a father. He better be. By all the Mercies he had better be well. I think we will go and see soon. Adam seems to have disappeared… I pray we needn’t go without him. He is Tessian’s good friend after all.

Conversations… so many of them. I am tired and my thoughts are jumbled. I know the words are out of order, but if I fail to put to parchment even the fragments, I fear I would not be able to unravel it all later. Try to go in order… In the morning it was the Banite. Oh he is careful with his words. And careful not to give me cause to strike him. I think he enjoys trying to see if he can irritate me. As such I could not help a bit of amusement at his expense. Mercy to the unworthy indeed. I take satisfaction in that I annoy him. He said as much. He deserves as such in the least to be annoyed.

That loathsome, snake Kel was there too. While I don’t dare trust him half as far as I can throw him, it was pleasing to see the look on Darrien’s face when he realized I was less alone than he thought. The rest of the bantering from the pair of them were little more than daggered words. I half expected Kel to offer to aid Darrien in some fashion. Of course I was not disappointed. Fortunate enough Rai was close at hand, and Emrys showed up. At that point I lost track of conversation for a time. Think its where the other conversations came into play at. Blast my memory.

I did finally speak with Selah, though as usual, hardly long enough. Sometimes I think for her and I to ever have time to say all that needs said, we would have to find a pocket plane to hide in, and discover a way to stop time. Unfortunately P’tak is dead. The book is in the hands of an Abyssal Lord. So far as any one has been able to tell me it hasn’t been opened. I have told her of the Bhaalist wizard and my suspicions. She has agreed to help if she can. First though we need to remedy her blindness. This may be easier to do now that I hear Weavemaster Goodmane is recovered. With Sister Abby and I on better terms it will better ensure the success of such a thing.

Lady Auriel is delayed, so I have done what I can for Sir Jonas. It has bought him time, a few days. That should be enough to keep him more balanced until she arrives. It expended a fair deal of energy, but it was worth doing to grant him a measure of peace. Which may have been the deciding factor for the events of the rest of the evening. Kel whose irritating presence became an undertone for the whole evening, would nearly expend my patience.

We would make our way to Baldur’s Gate to help an Elven Bardess’ mother, who was badly ill. Turns out she was badly poisoned, but after a time, the toxin was cleansed. Would that some toxins could so easily be cleansed. I nearly let my anger get the best of me, nearly if not for Balthis and Jonas. Kel went from being the self proclaimed ‘King of Candlekeep’ , which was really just a long winded term for his Royal ability to irritate… to being a self proclaimed Bhaalist. Bhaalist spy no less. I would have fell him there in the road if not for the others. It could just be another lie to rile me, and rile me it did. It took every inkling of will power I had not to punch him square in his jaw. Strike not first, not at all without cause… So I did not strike him. I believe they took him to Fist jail. Maybe this time he won’t get out and if he does, maybe this time he will learn.

The duties of the day done, and all well, I have written as well as my tired mind will allow. Perhaps some things will be clearer after rest. I wonder what the next day shall grant me? Dare I even ask… ? Thank all the mercies great and small for my faith and the strength it grants me. By faith I shall stand and by that faith the enemy will fall. All of them. All in time. Mercy will prevail. In that I may rest content.
~~

[LeslieMS]

[ONEHUNDRED TWENTY-SEVENTH ENTRY]

I have finally recovered from helping restore Sir Jonas back to top notch. He seems well recovered. I wanted to laugh seeing he and a group sneak back into the keep. So long as he feels prepared to deal with such things, I have no standing order to keep him locked in the infirmary. He seems well recovered. I was very worried at first. Well I was chatting with Emrys and such when all at once a large group of people were in front of the gates. Jonas was angry… madness loomed in his eyes, Mariona was completely unconscious, Lady Auriel seemed ill, though to what extent I could not say. The others were confused, and not at all sure how they came to be where they were.

As quickly as I was able to sort the mess and take charge, we got everyone to the infirmary. I hastily moved to situate everyone, as the depth of Jonas’ state became clearer. Even my skills could not draw him back. I feared it would end badly. I pulled from my pocket the sleeping tonic I often add to my tea. And combined it with a few other items. A make shift sleeping tonic that I prayed strong enough to get the large knight off his feet and passed the danger of harming the others out of misguided anger. For lack of better implementation or time, I applied the mixture to my sewing needle. With his attention on the others blocking the door, and little more than a look to them to convey my intent, I stuck him in the neck as gently as I dared.

‘Forgive me friend…’

I whispered as his eyes drooped and the mixture took purchase quickly once in the main artery in the neck. Fortunately the gamble worked in our favor. It bought me time to speak quickly of events and be brought to speed. With precious little time to waste I gathered the details, and Lady Auriel and I worked a plan. Nearly well not quick enough.

Apparently the celestial blood in him makes him surprisingly resilient. For some reason unknown to me, Mariona seemed indirectly effected by his actions, a mirror of sorts to his actions and thoughts, as though what bond there was between them had left them both open to the madness. All at once both my arms grasped, one by he and one by the other, he lunged at me with a dagger, his hand becoming wounded in the process as he was still fighting the effects of the sleeping tonic. He growled an order to do what needs must, even as he fought the madness that bid him lash out at me, the dagger made a sweeping arch in my direction. I dodged the blade, unable to reach the prepared dart that would put him back to peaceful sleep. I was loathe to force sleep upon him by way of channeling, but had little choice. Spells were useless, and the others could have done little with out drawing one of us to harm.

‘Sleep…’

Came the pleading request from my lips as I channeled energy the physical contact making it considerably easy. I was most surprised when the knife was not aimed at me but at his own hand instead... and glad when he fell back to sleep lest he hurt himself further. Their hands fell away and I winced as Jonas’ head fell back hard. In all honesty much of what happened next was a blur of energy and prayers. Lady Auriel had pressed the Tear of Selune into my hand, and the pair of us offered our faith and will to restore him… When the taint of shadow was removed from him I worked quickly to see him restored. At last his eyes blinked open and he was himself. Soon thereafter so too did Mariona’s.

There were many well wishes and congratulations, many thank yous spoken, expressions of relief and gratitude, and the infirmary began to empty. I sought a corner out of the way and steadied myself on the shelving. A gentle thank you from Jonas, and then I sought some rest. A long bit of rest it was. Much needed to boot, though it would still be a bit before I recovered fully. Overall a total success, with things as well mended as they can be.
~~

The days of rest passed in conversation. Billy tending his lessons. He is ever a marvel to me, and I cannot help but wonder what path he will finally settle on once the danger has passed. We spent the day discussing the many positive things that wait at the end of this shadowed path, the number of paths he can seek. He asked about my scar, I simply told him it was from a fight. I fear the details of it would send him into a rage and send him off to attempt to topple them himself. I do my best to keep his temper in check, to teach him to not let anger rule him. Ilmater and his servants have assured me that if I remain true to what I must do, he can be freed of it. I intend to see his freedom come to pass. I will not fail him, I will not fail Ilmater.

Finally he went to sleep in the Spire, and I found myself in quiet conversation with Ian. Kel came in… and the conversation remained mostly civil… as civil as it can be for veiled threats and one who distrusts the other so. Ian remained quiet, though I could tell from the look on his face he wished nothing more than to clobber him. In truth my oath not to land the first blow is the only thing that has saved me from knocking his arrogance clean out of him. I nearly well did. How dare he endear to me! ‘My precious…’ How dare he even think me anything he may call his own! Would that I could slap him on principle. I belong to none! No man, no elf, no slaver. None. Never again will I be bound, never will I call another Master or Mistress, never will I be claimed as such. Dare he think he has any right to call me anything but Sister or Miss. I am loathe to even hear him call me Merielle or Miss Williams… and he calls me Meri… loathsome snake he is, it sickens me. I do not trust him, I cannot stand him, and I pray the patience not to kill him for his disrespect.

Now that things are settled between Sister Abby and I, things have also become more peaceful at the temple. Though I sought her out to remind her not to drop her guard simply because things are calm. We are, after all, still at war. Yes war. A war of faiths. While Bhaal may yet continue his work… He will not be allowed to continue it here in this region. The Coast has trouble enough. I intend to see it one less. Sister Abby’s support and kind words have been a boon of late. I am glad we no longer stand on opposite sides of the same faith. She sees it now for what it is. We may be different branches, limbs as she put it, but we serve the same mind, the same body, the same god. We are Ilmatari. Together we endure. What was once a weakness to be used by the enemy, has been shored and strengthened.

Maximus organizes the men and women from the Triad and those who have offered us aid. Many have agreed to aid us when it is at last time. I patiently await Ilmater’s bidding as we gather strength. Daily now the call for aid is answered. Apparently some letters did get through to Damara and our other temples… word did reach our enemies despite the Bhaalists attempts to stop us. We have even found allies in unexpected corners. I am no tactician, so I have been sending those that seek me out to the temple of Tyr in Baldur’s Gate. I take great strength in our allies, and greater strength in my faith. We move steadily forward. Billy remains safe, and I remain safe enough. We endure.

Safe enough indeed. I cannot turn without facing a guardian these days. A careful eye, a ready sword, there are even those who watch from the shadows, remaining hidden until need arises. Still I wonder if it is enough? It was far too easy for them to whisk me away from the keep. Valerius has another spell he wishes to try to break the magic used. That will offer me a great measure of peace. Though I truly doubt, given the lack of success from the last private audience my enemies ‘requested’ that they will try such again.

I also spoke at great length with Selah. She has entrusted me with a joyous secret! All evening we chatted, hours, there hidden in plain sight. Yet our musings went undisturbed. We talked of everything, until we had no more words and no more energy for them. It was refreshing to confide in another. I took comfort in her wisdom, logic and even humor as the hours passed. She reaffirmed much I already knew, and shed new light on other things. She does not coat her words in honey, she does not mince them for fear of sounding unpleasant. She speaks as she must, and this night as I needed to hear. I shared with her the secret whisperings where they applied, granted her what knowledge I could. In the end, she spoke of a promise made to Ilmater to aid me however she may. In exchange she was granted a boon of sorts. I pray this kindred sisterhood we share of a sorts does not become discovered. For now more than ever I fear those who wish me ill will use much. I do not wish my battles to be hers further… it already has cost her the sight she enjoyed.

She fell asleep there in the grass beneath the moon light and I watch over her as she naps now. It is a good time to write and reflect. I am blessed with strong allies. I am blessed by strong faith and dear friends. Whatever is yet to face, even if it is still the darkest days ahead, we will face it, and we will endure it. In the end Mercy will prevail… I have seen and withstood much. As things come to pass, there is still much left to do. Together, we can see it all done as needs must. The wounds of the days passed, and the days yet to come will be mended. There is still a great deal of hope. We have come far, and we will see it through. That I am certain of.

Selah should wake soon. I will chase her off to the inn. I could use some rest myself. We must stand ready for what the enemy will try next. We must be ready to stand. Sleep, as unpleasant as it is… a necessary evil, and one I can live. There are worse things at least.
~~

[LeslieMS]

[ONEHUNDRED TWENTY EIGHTH ENTRY]
PART ONE OF FIVE: THE JOURNEY

///
Multiple part entry. This first part is a supplemental entry to the postings in the journey in the Jump in Time thread. the second part will be posted shortly and will follow through to the end of the Athkatalan part of the thread. There will be more after that also. Keep your eyes peeled as I will be adding chunks until I work yesterday's rp back into the journal entry and have it all nice and neatly caught up.
Subject: A Jump in Time
///

I made a visit to the temple. Things go smoothly. Sister Abby has done well, and she has heeded my warnings. She is safe. Safe. If such a thing can be said as that, in a time such as this. I gathered the rest of the things I had hidden about. I can’t say where my path will take me yet… but I know in the morning I board the Seasprite bound for Amn. I think I may well be out of my mind, but in my heart I know what needs must. So today is a day of errands. Plans are made, things are set. We are waiting word for forces from Damara and other points. The enemy is silent… everything is silent. Save the prayers that constantly run through my mind. I even prepare with the blessing of Ilmater… I go, with the blessing of He Who Endures. I have left strict instruction where Billy is concerned. Fortunately, they trust me. Billy trusts me, and even he understands the need of this. Everything is in place, everything accounted for. In the morning… Ian, Adam and I board a ship… Pray Mercy grant us a swift path… Ilmater be with me, be with Billy, be with Tessian… Mercy to them all. I think it will take more than tea for sleep to find me this night. Still I must try. Ronwin’s words haunt me… I must be watchful on this journey. I must guard my thoughts, and step warily. No room for misstep.
~~

We are safely on the ship… I stood and watched the harbor fade. No I barely slept… but I am too nervous to worry over sleep now. I will have no trouble keeping alert. Adam and Ian talk quietly among themselves. They watch me like hawks. They take turns watching the others onboard. We have all made careful note of the others. Despite the constant turmoil of my own thoughts, the seas have been blessedly calm. I nearly hadn’t the strength to get on board… Had it not been for Ian’s quiet, albeit stern, urgings… I might not be sitting here. It is a comfortable ship at least.

‘… to make your future uninvited visit as comfortable as possible…’

Mercy! I think I could almost hate him. Stop Meri… no sense in getting angry on the ship. I think I will make my way back up to the deck. It is surprising how nice the fresh air has been. At the front of the ship, the breeze was pleasant. Val had happily taught me some nautical terms. Chatted on about what to expect, this that and the other of course. I think it was a nice crash course. Covered everything except how to sail the ship. I almost wish she was coming along. I am not keen on being the only woman on board, but at least Ian and Adam are here to look out for me. This will work out. I know it. I will stubbornly cling to that. Brother Marcus once told me that with enough faith and hope I could make anything come to pass. Now is as good a time as any to test it. For now I need some air. I grow tired of the dank, dark below decks.
~~

I don’t think I have ever argued with myself so much in all my life. A thousand thoughts, and each one has its own contradiction. I worry for Billy and the others. I worry about the Bhaalists and the Banites and even the blasted Drow. Well, at least there aren’t many shadows to hide on here… At least a lot of things. A few quiet, idle conversations. I try to work on my embroidery or a drawing or two, but mostly I stand and I let my thoughts tumble about and into the sea. I have a few nice drawings, a particular one of Dolphins running with the ship, makes me smile. I embroidered a ship. It will be a nice patch on a pillow for Billy.

I hope he is alright. Its been three days now… He is in Emrys’ care. With Ilmater’s blessing. Billy loves Emrys. He is fine. They are fine. Even the mice in the Candlekeep stables know that only Emrys is allowed to even take Billy out of the keep. We made plans for everything, backup plans, backup plans for the backup plans, I would have put contingencies for that too… but Joan assured me it would be overkill. She also assured me she would just clobber anyone that was a problem. Dearest Mercy, I am blessed by such good friends. Including ones who would threaten to drag me to Amn kicking and screaming. I haven’t hardly seen Ian and Adam. Though I think it is more because Ian means not to be seen, and I have been so wrapped up in my thoughts of late.

The crew seems nice enough. They tend to their work, and for the most part pay me no mind. There are a few looks from time to time, but my own glare seems enough to put that aside. I am already worried that I did not bring enough tea. There have been plenty of offers for drink… But I am hardly a fool. The last thing I need is to cloud my being with alcohol. Ian has kept to his promise and avoided it as well. We may be the only three on the whole boat who do not drink. There is an odd fellow, flashy sort, smokes a pipe. He has stayed at the fringes of things. I doubt he even realizes I am aware of him. I have yet to decide if he is a worry or not. Well… that is not true. He is a worry… I just haven’t decided if it is a needless one or not.

It is a good thing no one is trying to keep track of my thoughts, or make conversation. I can’t even keep up with my thoughts. I am surprised even my writing makes sense. I wonder how Tessian is. Stuck with that… that… Good for nothing! How can he be Tessian’s father? Tessian is nothing like him! He had to have gotten everything that is wonderful about him, from his mother. Wonder what Ron-whine did to her… Maybe I don’t really want to know. I know enough from Polly. Polly… I don’t know how the woodsman did it, but the bird has hardly made a sound. That bird is smart too. I wonder where she came from? More importantly how is she related to Tessian, to Ronwin and Mathylda? I truly pray that man’s greed outweighs his cruelty. At least then he will keep Tessian well, so Tessian can make him more coin… Rather than just torturing him or something. That -- Snake! I can’t even call him a man. It is an insult to even men like Kel, and that is saying something.
~~

I spoke briefly with the flashy fellow today. John Finknoodle. He seems nice enough. I gave him some peppermint cubes to help with his sea sickness, and a remedy for his stomach, some ginger. He seems a pleasant sort, but it is much easier to deal with someone else’s problems, rather than my own. The skies cloud over… maybe to match my thoughts? Cloudy suits me as much as the sunshine. Ilmater forgive my troubled thoughts. I worry for home… I worry for Tessian… Pray keep the storms mild lest I need worry for us as well. Carefully chosen words keep at bay the nosiest questions, and when that fails a polite excuse to go below decks and rest manages fine enough. Rest? How can anyone sleep on a ship? The constant rocking is calming enough, but with every shift comes a creak or a squeak or groan. Always noise. Makes it hard to hear the comings and goings of everyone. We will see what is yet to come… for now I think I need a nap… A short one.
~~

The sun returns to us! I am worrying less. Ilmater comforts softly when I still my mind. There has been little trouble. The sailors seem to take more notice of my comings and goings, just as I am more watchful of they. This trip has been dramatically more pleasant than my other sea voyages. It is amazing what lack of chains can do for a bit of travel. Hope enough has changed in ten years. I would hate to run into slavers. I won’t go back. Not to that path. I will not be bound. That is all the more reason why I need to make this trip. Tessian is practically a slave to his father’s whimsy. Love aside… I can’t let that happen. Tessian is such a joyful spirit. I can’t let that heartless lout ruin it. It won’t be long now. A few more days. Then all this watching and waiting will be past and we can get down to doing something about it all. Soon. Patience. Have Faith Meri dear. Tessian is strong. He can endure this, and then we can all go home. Mercy willing… We can all go home happy.

Have to watch the sailors closely… one polite invitation and one less than polite. I hate the way they stare. I want to slap half them… I briefly considered throwing the burly one overboard. Nothing good would come of that though. Best to ignore them… well appear to ignore them. If they so much as move their pinky the wrong way… Mercy to them. Careful Meri. You are edgy. Don’t get jumpy… nothing good will come of that either. Be watchful, be patient. Ilmater walks with you… or in this case… sails. It will work out.
~~

Oh dear mercies! What a day indeed. First I thought the sailors were the worst of my troubles. Though surely I would have need to thump a couple of them on the head too. The leers and jeers irritate me. Still I had been able to talk myself out of most trouble. Was running out of clever ways to dodge the issue with a pair before Ian snatched me up below decks. No doubt they whisper we are a pair now. Especially since I have barely seen Adam.

Addy stowed away. And woe to any who would dare send her back. I would not send her back alone anyway. A woman like Addy, not able to defend herself? No that I would not do. We would just have to keep her safe. Ian is furious. Adam is a bit put out, but Addy is nearly as stubborn as I am, and she means to stick by me. Besides, she would be lost without Tessian’s teasing. She would have no one to clobber with her ladles. At least she brought the cast-iron one. Oh dear Mercy. I knew the trip was going too smoothly. After a considerable amount of quick words, a greater amount of coin, and Addy’s agreement to work in the Galley, we are set at least. Addy is thrilled to have a kitchen to work from, and the crew will benefit her good cooking. If any thing a few good meals might distract them from other things.

No turning back as they say. We will simply have to make due. At least now there is another woman for me to visit with. I am glad really, that it is Sister Addy. ‘Noble Kitchener’ as Tessian calls her. Gods I miss him. I think it is safe to say I love him. I might thank Ron-whine for helping me realize it… after I beat the ill out of him. Oh for this to be behind us… Mercy be with us all… Ilmater keep Sister Adolina safe…
~~

Adam and Ian have kept Addy well enough company. Its been kind of them to help her. I have a bit, but I am so distracted. I salted when I should have sugared… nearly ruined the soup with too much pepper… Addy chased me off and I made my way back to the bow of the ship. I do so love the fresh air, and room enough to think. Adam and I chatted for a while. It was nice to have a conversation that didn’t end in an invitation to the bunks. Blasted Sailors. Four more days… Blast it! If I don’t go mad, I am going to get mad and start slapping smirks off of sailor’s faces. I am not some blasted harlot and I don’t like being looked at like one! Goodness I am cranky… We should arrive by morning. At least the trip has gone… well smooth enough. As well as can be expected with my luck. No one drown, and I had no cause to kill someone, that is success as much as anything.
~~

[LeslieMS]

[ONEHUNDRED TWENTY EIGHTH ENTRY]
PART TWO OF FIVE: ATHKATLA
Subject: A Jump in Time

We made it from the docks to the Den of the Seven Vales. Best yet… I went unrecognized that I can tell. We rested and recuperated from the journey. Nice to be in a room that doesn’t creak, even if it may take a day or so for my legs to stop seeking the sway of the ship. Addy and I rested while the gents kept watch, then they rested a bit. I was surprised by how little Athkatla has changed since I was here so many years ago. Plague riddles the region, and its toll is evident. Still the city seems to fair well. Being here reminds me why I left Amn… Well that hardly matters now. Here we are. Ian and Adam want to go scouting. I am loathe for us to be left alone, but I think Addy and I can manage.
~~

Right. The quiet is driving me crazy… the sitting still is driving me crazy… all the blasted questions I can’t answer are driving me crazy. Gods I want to scream!

Breathe Meri. Calm. Put your mind to work. Alright. A plan. While Adam and Ian are gone I can think up ways to keep Addy and I safe. There is a chair beneath the doorknob. All those years and they still use the levered doorknobs. Perhaps my luck isn’t so bad after all! Wedge a chair under it and no one can open the door. Saved me from a few unsavory moments in the past. They can’t get in, and I would sneak out the window… ledge for ledge down the edge of the Promenade walls, and back into the city. Sure the masters were furious, beatings harsh, but I would take a beating any day… Well never mind that. If there is trouble Addy and I can go out the window. There could be trouble. Hard to not feel like our every move is scrutinized. Addy is worried, maybe a little scared. She has to be kept safe. It is going to be along day.

They didn’t say how long they were going to be. Not trust the Ilmatari here? Ha! if you cant trust them… they aren’t Ilmatari! I don’t like that they are going ‘snooping’ but someone has to. I gave Sister Addy a dress and a dagger. Just in case we need to leave. I stationed rope near the window. Contingencies are set in place, plans are made. I know Ian and Adam would have hardly insisted on me being here by myself, Addy either, but part of me wonders if that is safer? I keep trying to write, but I end up pacing. How long have they been gone? Barely over an hour. This whole trip has been one test of sanity to the next.

I had planned on Addy and I going to find the gents if they hadn’t made it back by midday. Polly keeps watching me. That bird is smart, and she definitely looks out for my better interests. She sort of irritates Sister Adolina though. She actually started yelling at Polly. The bird knows something. There wasn’t time to contemplate much as the gents made it back by nightfall. Tomorrow they do the real grit-work.
~~

Adam and Ian left barely before dawn… its well near noon… they should be back by now. Addy and I seek to amuse ourselves as best we can. I can’t help jumping at every little sound and it looks like Addy wants to choke the bird and serve her for soup. Polly just watches quietly. Quiet. It has been unnervingly quiet, and far too easy since we arrived here. What is taking Adam and Ian so blasted long?

Grand. Now its midday, and Addy and Polly are -arguing-. Mercy of Ilmater, this is crazy! Why are we even here? Because I love Tessian. That part is easy, so is the ‘Ron-whine is a pompous, bit of dirt that needs be under a rug’ part. Oooh I hate that man. Well maybe not hate. I sure would like to pop him in the jaw… just once… Mercy of Ilmater forgive me my temper… Never mind my temper. Let me go calm Addy and Polly down before Polly throws a spell and Addy does try to make soup of her.
~~

Oh dear Mercy!

‘Don’t go! Stay Home!’

Polly said that for an hour straight at least. -I- wanted to make soup of her! Maybe we shouldn’t have come? Too late for that now. I have paced tracks in the floor, the door is secure, but I have checked it a dozen times or better. Addy and I try to distract ourselves with conversation. We debated how best to beat up Ron-whine. A bad topic I know… but we laughed and it helped. She adores my little nickname for him. I wonder if Tessian will like it too? I wonder if Tessian is alright? Of course he is… he is a strong sort. Still how much laughter can he find in his father’s house? Or pancakes for that matter. Where are they?! Best get to planning. Best get Addy ready… For what may yet or may not yet come to pass.
~~

Well its just a bit past one. Adam is finally back. Finknoodle followed him about, what to make of him? Who could say. Still no word from Ian. Polly is quiet again finally… I am worried. More than worried. I am scared. I can’t stop thinking that maybe I shouldn’t have come… What if something is wrong back in Baldur’s Gate?

I said a prayer. My answer:

‘Trust the garish ones.’

Polly and Finknoodle? Grand… but we aren’t stowing away on a caravan bound for his estate… too risky. No… something else… Mercy forgive me.

I talked at length with Adam, we are waiting on Ian… for now. Its getting late. Supper time… this could work out well after all. I need to pen a note. There is only one estate near Trademeet… less than ten miles away from town. That has to be it. Alright. Mercy of Ilmater Ian is going to be furious… So will Adam and Adolina. I hope they can forgive me. First thing is first. Better get them some food. It might be a few hours before someone lets them out. Please let this work. Go to the warehouse, find Ian come back, go to Trademeet… Simple. Keep Addy and Adam from following? Not so simple, but doable.
~~

[LeslieMS]

[ONEHUNDRED TWENTY EIGHTH ENTRY]
PART THREE OF FIVE: TRADEMEET, SILENE ESTATE

Well… we rode all night and most of the day. I hate that creepy man. Ian will be furious. I was an idiot to not figure that someone would be waiting for me to leave the inn and be alone. So now? Now I am learning to ride a horse with some creep that works for an even bigger creep. My rotten luck! Mercy of Ilmater, I knew the trip was going too smoothly. Now we are riding of to the Silene estate and I, save my god and my wits, am alone.

Riding a horse? I think I hate it. If I never ride another horse again it will be too soon. At least Ron-whine was kind enough to include a side-saddle… I still think I can’t stand him. His whoever he is has an odd accent. Not sure I like him either but so far he is attempting to be civil. Not exactly how I meant to get to Tessian, but it might work. With luck Ian has put two and two together. He knows Ron-whine is near Trademeet, with luck he will assume that I mean to head there when I am able, to the temple… When I am able. It is a fair distance from Athkatla to Trademeet… and we likely won’t be going -through- town. I should have written Brother Dracius so they would know to look… Didn’t want them to worry.

Ironically the horse’s name is Cottonbottom… there is nothing Cotton about it… I will be sore for a month! At least I am starting to fall off less. Blasted horses. Should just walk everywhere… walking is nice. I am out of tea. Stop whining Meri you sound like Ron-whine! Ha! I am arguing with myself on my writing. Oh dear…
~~

More riding… its been… Days? No matter. We should be getting near. Sahiege says we will be there tomorrow afternoon. No doubt someone has let Adam and Addy out, Ian has gotten back to the room and after getting done being angry they, are hopefully not too far behind… A few days at worst. I suppose I could kill him, leave him out here… You are no murderer Meri. He is no danger… yet. Get some sleep, the madness of this trip is effecting your thought process. HA! Now I am chiding myself. And considering listening. I think the last time I fell from the horse I knocked my mind loose… or I have just gone insane. Sleep. Blast it all I want a cup of tea. A quiet corner and a good book. All the Mercies great and small! Well, we will know soon enough if this was folly or not. Whether or not Ron-whine has poisoned his son, figurative or literally.
~~

Ron-whine is a snake! An absolute loathsome, skin crawling, fork-tongued SNAKE! Trick water fountains and all his -manners- our initial meeting was sardonic and coldly polite at best. He rambled on and on about how -well- Tessian was doing. Of note from the initial meeting was the -paintings-.

I hate him. To think he has the right. I actually do hate him. He showed me a beautiful portrait of Tessian’s mother. Mathylda Silene. Though it was hardly a portrait. Some sort of magus trickery like every other aspect of his existence it seems. He has absolutely no respect for anything or any one. He cares only so far as he can gain from it, even then it isn’t caring. Greed. The man is Greed personified. He talked for hours. I never did drink the water. How I wish I had a pot of tea…

So he shows me this portrait of his wife, and he talks about a portrait he just started. A blank canvas with my name beneath it on a plaque. He spoke. His voice, his words, the very substance of them dripped with double-meaning and it irritated me. How I held composure is beyond me… and I nearly well didn’t as the day progressed on.

‘Things of beauty… nature for example, are meant to be seen and admired. Those things though must often be… subdued before they can be seen in their full spectrum. You will make a ravishing portrait.’

Half expecting some trick, and working to keep my temper I spoke, choosing my words carefully as ever. His guards, members of some thug group he called the Iron Throne, Sahiege among them, outnumbered me. That I could see, a dozen to one. Not good odds. No. This was not good at all.

‘Well I did not realize you were an artist sir, but I have little time, least of all to pose for paintings.’

‘Oh you needn’t pose for long. Hold still. Perhaps when you return to Baldur’s Gate I can make a copy for you.’

Oh so he meant me to return did he? At what cost I wondered? Dare I even ask? Wasn’t time to elaborate the thought as he pointed his staff my way and spoke an incantation. Sat there all smug as the canvas glowed and a portrait began to take form. I thought of my drawings, and even the ones I have painted… a short cut, instant gratification. Why was I not surprised he would seek such with a thing like art? Truthfully I expected a trick… not an insult. The Bastard!

To my horror it produced a perfectly nude portrait. Scar-less, but still. No one has ever been given leave to see me in such a manner and he wished to hang it on his blasted wall?! He quipped about my form being well known, insinuating my impropriety. His blasted rumors. Oh how I hated him in that moment. It could have taken its own form, that hate. When I stated s such that none had seen me so, and he well knew it, his reply only served to further infuriate me. I hadn’t known such nearly blinding anger since before the Bhaalist Hin was killed.

‘Well… that makes me first and foremost. I am sure my boy will be quite jealous.’

Hate is not a strong enough word at that point… How I did not kill him then and destroy the portrait I know not. My only solace was that this slight too was done without permission, and my honor, while gravely insulted further by this demon of a man, was still in tact. The curtain over the portrait fell closed leaving little more than a scant bare amount of time to even register the portrait. He continued on as if it were no grand thing. So would a man who believes all the world is his by right. Egotistical bastard! Smug, self-righteous SNAKE! I was tired, I was miserable, and I had to mind my steps around a monster and his brutes, hoping against all hope to find Tessian. Ron-whine swears Tessian was trapped away, so that I could not get to him and ruin his little coup.

He then graced me with a tour of the house. The depth of his thoughtless, selfish, self-imposed rights even more evident. He liked pretty things… pretty girls, and what he couldn’t control he destroyed. I was starting to feel very much like the worst was yet to come. Definitely something I was going to have to work to get out of. I prayed, each revelation into the pig’s twisted mind only hastening my prayers. Mercy of all Mercies… I was regretting ever leaving the Vales… Tessian. I dare not leave him here… that would be the worst of fates. His father was a bastard and no matter how risky or unpleasant I wasn’t about to leave him here with -him-!

So the tour continued. And ended on the fourth flour… uppermost. A suite of sorts. Library, study, bedroom. Then more banter continued in a patronizingly civil way. A way that was sarcastically polite. And the true purpose of the game became slowly apparent.

‘You will stay at the house.’

‘Oh I wouldn’t dare overstay my welcome. I really should get back. I have things that need tending.’

‘Overstay? Don’t be absurd! You come and go precisely when I mean you to. That’s hardly overstaying your welcome. When your welcome is over here, its over. That’s that. No things more important than my own? Good I didn’t think so. You will sleep here. If you get cold, I’m in the next room.’

His tone was patronizing, the questions rhetorical, more like orders than anything. Statements as fact as he saw them. No way in all the Hells I would be his plaything!

‘I would sooner freeze to death!’

So I sat to write. I prayed, I planned. There had to be a way to think myself out of this one. Had to be something. My prayers were answered by a familiar form flying through the open window. Polly. A truer blessing is hardly needed in a time like this. A guardian angel… with prettier plumage. I studied the room absently. No way in the Multiverse was I going to sleep on the couch-magically-by Ron-whine-turned-bed. None. And now here I sit. Maybe a good idea to look about a bit… carefully Meri careful. At least Polly was here.
~~

Oh dear… Dearest Mercies. Ilmater is ever with me. I know that. Even knowing, I think the events of the night and the whole trip will haunt me a while. I stood in that study pondering my options when I spotted one of the tactical manuals Tessian is so fond of reading. It reminded me why I was effectively locked a stone’s throw from some rat’s nest, unfortunately… the rat is a pervert and a light sleeper. As I reached out to take the book, his voice came from directly behind me without any warning at all. Polly, thank all that is Mercy was hidden. He spoke, even tried to touch my face… Oh he makes my skin crawl! Snake! Bastard snake! May he rot in the Hells or the Abyss! I hardly care which. Ilmater forgive me but even that is more mercy than he deserves!

‘So enthralling. You put out all other thoughts from my mind Red.’

‘Yes well put the ones that are left over out too!’

I snapped as I moved as far away as the limited space would allow. Yes the purpose of the game was clear. Cat and mouse as he flitted about the room. Vanishing from one place only to be unnervingly close and in another a second later. This mouse however… was not so timid.

‘Why don’t you sleep Red?’

‘Not tired thank you.’

‘You really -should- lie down.’

‘I assure you I am quite comfortable standing.’

‘Are you… Absolutely sure?’

‘Perfectly.’

‘It is quite comfortable there.’

He pointed at the bed. I spied Polly beneath it. I held fast to the window. Using the window and the bookshelf to keep him in front of me and not behind.

‘Here too.’

Then he took to threatening me with Tessian’s well-being.

‘The petulant Ilmatari refuses me does she? No one refuses me.’

‘There is a first time for everything.’

‘There is also a first time to feel the exquisite pain of your every single hair follicle transmuted into fire ants. Not for you of course. But for the boy. Trapped in a little sphere no less. Completely unable to die. Not much escaping from that. Nowhere to run… Nowhere to die. Just give it a moment’s thought. Beyond a minor inconvenience it is no trouble for me. The boy still lives, he is still mine. All the same really.’

Oh yes. I hated him… and every time I didn’t think I could hate him more, he opened his mouth. I dared not ask, but I had no choice. Not in the asking… I sought to buy time with words. I prayed as I spoke.

‘And the price of leaving him be?’

‘You will lie down wearing nothing. You have no choice.’

Fortunately I did have a choice. Polly cast something from beneath the bed, and as Ron-whine jumped and tried to throw a spell my way he could not. Polly had silenced him. Not a moment too soon, and I think I well loved that parrot.

‘Find Meri!’

I moved closer to the bird as the fury became evident on Ron-whine’s piggish face. He moved to attack, I asked him not to. Genuinely I did not wish his death, even though he deserved nothing less. Without his spells he was easy to best. My temper however, bested me. I left him in more dire straights than I intended. I took out some bandages and worked to try to staunch his life before it fled him. He looked at me and spoke simply before falling away to death.

‘… they’ll hang you… Burn you.’

And that was that. The end of Ronwin Silene. As my luck runs, in came the guards -after- he died of course. They talked of me being some murderess. Of course I would not be allowed to go to the authorities lest the truth be known. Talk of what to do with me ensued. Saheige spoke:

‘You are a prominent Ilmatari, so we cannot risk anything too drastic. Perhaps you could… Disappear? I have connections to certain organizations in Athkatla that could use someone like you. Strong, lithe… good-looking enough. A fair price I would Wager.’

The banter continued among the men. A twisted mind is a danger, a disgusting perversion of that which is right. When morals do not keep such things in balance… it is dangerous indeed. Sometimes, prudent silence is wise. I kept quiet. Polly was still hidden. The sun was coming up. I survived the night. Now I just needed to thwart nine guardsmen, heavily armored and outnumbered, with faith and a fey parrot. I have been in worse spots. Not by much, but it had been worse. No way was I going back to the slavers. Not wishing to oust Polly just yet, I prayed. Once again… my prayers were answered by the smell of smoke.

The house was in flames. The guards were quick to take an enchanted length of rope and flee, content that I would burn with the house, as would the evidence of the murder. No need to panic. Surely there was some way out of this. I made my way down the stairs to find the third floor an inferno. Well, at least the painting was gone. A grand blessing that. I searched the fourth floor. I found a scroll I couldn’t make heads or tails of, some condemning evidence against Ron-whine, a book on abjurations and I grabbed the tactical manual for Tessian when I saw him again. If anything, perhaps the book would shed some light on freeing Tessian. The scroll simply said ‘Feather Fall’ across the top of it. I couldn’t make out the runes on it, but it sounded good for a woman considering jumping from a fourth story window. Still does no good when I can’t read it.

Fortunately I have a very smart parrot. Polly read the scroll and I fell effortlessly from the window to the ground with barely a hair out of place. I turned to see Polly fly down from the window as smoke billowed from the window. I looked down startled by a movement in the shrubbery… but only for an instant before I realized my fortune…
~~

[LeslieMS]

[ONEHUNDRED TWENTY EIGHTH ENTRY]
PART FOUR OF FIVE: TRADEMEET, TO THE TEMPLE OF ILMATER

I looked on in shock against the background of the burning house, and counted every blessing I could think of twice. All of them… and none of them made me so happy as the one that stood before me.

‘Meri?! What in Lathander’s Great Sunlight are you doing here?!’

‘Tessian?!’

I think my heart may have actually stopped as Polly flitted to his shoulder, pretty as you please and looking very proud of herself.’

‘Find Meri!’

Tessian patted the bird’s head with a happy smile. I stood there in utter shock, still numbering my blessings, and praying I wasn’t dreaming away my death in a house fire. He addressed the bird first, then looked me over rather worriedly. Hard to believe that it had only been a day and a night spent there… Blessings indeed.

‘Well done. Are you alright?! Did that sick freak mess with you?’

Finally words found me as I sought to reassure him.

‘He tried to, but he won’t be messing with anyone now. I… didn’t have a choice…’

I glanced to the window and back to him, and kept speaking.

‘I am so glad to see -you- are alright. He said you were… well… stuck. I was so worried--’

‘He’s … dead then?’

I nodded slowly looking back to the window I had just come from… completely engulfed in flames. Even then I had trouble finding reason to regret what I had done. He was a monster. A dead… Monster.

‘Good I guess the fire wasn’t necessary then.’

‘Maybe it was…’

The portraits, the statues, the books, everything… anything that was foulness was cinder and ash now. He had saved the portrait of his mother, the one bright spot in the whole foul place. His words were a rush of anxious energy that drew my focus back to him and not the house.

‘How in… why? How-- I am confused. How did you get here and… why? You have Billy to take care of! S-sorry. I’m shouting. I’m not angry… just… on edge. I have never done things like this before.’

‘I am so sorry it took this long. I meant to come sooner, but well… Billy is safe at Candlekeep with Emrys and Joan.’

‘The twisted miser had me locked in mother’s old room for a few days. She often ran away from him in there. He left Polly though… Didn’t you get her message?’

‘Not all at once, but she did find me. There was a part of the message she didn’t finish though…’

‘She was supposed to tell you to stay home. No matter though. We need to get out of here before someone finds us. You can explain as we go.’

With that he gathered up his mother’s painting and Polly took a cheery perch on his shoulder. If the circumstances were any different it would have been vastly more ironic. Instead of some romantic outing, we were the prodigal son, the murderess running, hand in hand, from the now fully consumed house. One last backward glance to curse the demon now burned within, and we ran for the woods that ran between the estate and Trademeet. Our pace was quick. We exchanged important details, forming the tentative plan to go to the temple in Trademeet. An eight mile run… both of us sleep-deprived. We didn’t care… Secretly we each knew the other wanted as much distance between us and that blasted place as possible, and it could hardly be fast enough.

I learned a great deal about his mother, the man who called himself a father, the events and the life that lead to where we were now. The conversations were mostly pleasant. As we moved onward toward Trademeet we sought to keep each other cheered up. I hadn’t realized just how much I missed his wry wit. We made good time as we ran. It was actually rather nice given the circumstances. My thoughts occasionally drifted to Ian and the others… and then drifted to Baldur’s Gate, to Billy and to Candlekeep, and I would fight a bout of worry. A gently comforting voice in the back of my mind assured me all was well, that I was doing as I should. As we ran… Ilmater ran along side us, that thought brought me a great deal of comfort. I took the thimble from my pocket as we slowed our pace a bit. I held it up, symbolic treasure that it was, the sunlight glinted off of it as it passed from my hand to his.

‘Here. This is yours.’

‘Precious gift from a precious girl. Thank you Meri.’

‘I am glad his lies didn’t get to you.’

‘I don’t even think his truths would have. Its not even worth trying to pick them out. You don’t think Adam is going to do anything stupid do you?’

I know he was worried for his dear friend, truth was I worried about them too. Oh they were going to be so mad at me… I just know it. So I told Tessian why, so that when they were scathing mad at my foolishness, he understood.

‘I hope not… I mean, well… I don’t think so. I didn’t tell them where I was going. I sort of … temporarily locked them in the room.’

‘You--? Goodness I don’t know how to respond to that.’

‘I had to keep Addy safe. She was so insistent… if she knew what I was going to do, she would have tried to go too… She could have gotten hurt…’

‘Sister Adolina is definitely iron-willed and iron-ladled.’

‘Well I didn’t want her to have to use it. Given how I only wished to go to the warehouse, and ended up here…’

‘Good idea, good point. She is good against defenseless munchers playing games, but I doubt even she could have stood up against those cronies.’

‘I would have been in all sorts of trouble without that bird…’

The conversation continued as I learned the truth about the bird who was effectually my saving grace since the day she showed up in the inn. His mother’s familiar. It also turned out through the course of the conversation that Finknoodle was a good man too, if not a bit odd. Trust the Garish ones… I owe Finknoondle an apology if I ever see him again. I will owe a lot of apologies I think, by the time we get home… but it is worth it. Tessian is definitely worth it. The lighthearted roll of conversation kept time with our steps. He grinned wryly as he stepped around thorn bushes, nearly running to keep up with my quick steps.

‘Its good to see you again.'

‘You too.’

‘You just miss the pancakes.’

‘More than the pancakes…’

‘The bacon too?’

‘More than that.’

All at once he stops giving me a big hug and joking about what Lady Iliara is going to think for me bringing a man with a mustache to the temple. If only he had a clue how happy it would actually make Lady Iliara to see her ‘Little Rosy matched up all smart-like.’ We chuckled and kept walking. I told him of my nickname for his father, which he indeed thought was funny. The conversation turned more serious. He talked of his brother and his sister, and mother. How terrible it must have been… to grow up with such a creature as Ron-whine. Horrid indeed if you can see your little sister’s early death as a blessing… At least Ron-whine wouldn’t be hurting anyone else. Not any more… The smoke could still be seen as we walked, the smell of it carried faintly on the breeze. A gentle reminder that this was not all fun and games. Laughter came so easy with Tessian about. Here we were practically on the run for murder and the burning of a noble’s estate, and laughing. Finding joy in the shadows. On we walked and chatted.

‘I have missed your humor dear. I was afraid I would forget how to laugh.’

‘That would be a terrible fate!’

‘Terrible indeed. Fortunately I am safe from such atrocities of Fate.’

‘You are now. I can protect you from Seriousness!’

‘Valiant guardian of all things Humorous… And pancakes.’

‘Mostly pancakes.’

As the course of laughter and humor ran through, we found ourselves cycling from our worries, to what we had just escaped, to what was yet to be done… and of course at this point, with both hungry, breakfast was forefront. At least, through out all of it, there was the sustaining laughter. Hope and faith and Laughter. Only thing lacking was breakfast and tea. The conversation danced from one topic to the next, loosely tied together in a way that only two exhausted, rambling minds could follow. As a conversation on the fashion sense of mustaches turned into sense itself.

‘I like to think sometimes I am capable of being sensible.’

‘Jumping out of a fourth story window is hardly sensible. Did you think you were a Meribird?’

‘I did say -some-times. Besides I wouldn’t have jumped without Polly looking out for me.’

More walking and chatting. It is absolutely mind-boggling the amount of conversation that two people can fit in an eight mile walk. Two people and a bird. Polly was fond of reminding us she was there from time to time. We stopped once for a bit of rest. The whole walk was grand, despite some more serious moments. We were both scared to death, and at least we could say so with little more than the woods to hear us. Quiet assurances. Faith. Hope. I can offer those in abundance, and between the two of us, well… we can compliment enough to keep each other sane. Well sane as we could be I suppose. I remember something about apple trees, basket trees, apple pancake trees and something about talking vegetables. I swear if the world somehow became hideously devoid of laughter… Tessian could find it and bring it back single-handedly. I loved him for it. Besides… he agreed to help me tend my gardens some day… well. Correction. He agreed to help the mystical sorceress tend her garden of magic talking vegetables. Minor technicality that mine won’t talk, and that I am no sorceress… I don’t think it will matter much if that day ever comes to pass.

We finally made it to the temple. After a good deal of catching up with Lady Iliara and the others… I do mean a good deal, and some sleep… Real sleep. He slept while we prepared breakfast. Of course Lady Iliara was thrilled. Brother Dracius enjoyed Tessian, simply because Tessian can keep up with Brother Dracius’ rambling thoughts and desire to learn -everything-. Sister Agatha is doing well, as is Sister Dorine. I nearly enjoyed playing with Baby Tristan as much as anything. Blessed indeed. During the days there, we chatted and talked and ate and laughed. It was easy to enjoy the peace for a day or two.

I prayed. Peace as it were, it would not last forever. Soon, Ian and the others would catch up and we would be headed back north to Baldur’s Gate. Come what may, I could be at peace with it. I knew now that I had done as I should have. Indeed there was purpose to even this. There was strength to be drawn from it all, and much to be learned. It was renewing of sorts to spend time with those I count as family in Trademeet. I was thrilled they enjoyed Tessian’s humor and wit as much as I did. It was almost perfect if not for the looming sense of shadow overhanging from the north. Duty would carry me back to Baldur’s Gate, and I did not dread it. I did not fear it. I regretted nothing, and took from all of this the lessons I was to learn, and was glad of it. I woke early our that day. Tessian sat leafing through a book.

‘You’re very happy here. I can see that.’

‘I am. This is where I learned of my path as an Ilmatari, the first place I came to as a human being, not a thing. Its home.’

‘Home is a place of shelter and love.’

‘Well, someday I hope to have a home that isn’t a temple. Not that there is anything wrong with a temple as a home… just not enough room for a proper garden.’

‘You are right about that.’

We chatted back and forth quietly, the others going about their duties. There was joy in the place, peace. He finally glanced around and looked back to me before speaking further. His expression and tone were uncharacteristically serious, and I was uncharacteristically prepared for the course of the conversation.

‘I love you Merielle. I would say it was wild and reckless for you to come all this way and do what you have done. But I would have done the same thing. Mother always said to keep an eye out for women of rare quality and keep them safe.’



‘I love you too, even if it took me a while to figure it out.’

And as simple as that… I broke my first promise ever. There are worse promises to break. As Selah said, to promise such a thing is to die on the inside. I had promised all the same, to never love again. I did good at keeping it for four years… Such promises… Well they aren’t meant to be kept. It was a foolish promise. I have learned since then to not make promises I cannot keep. It was never one I was meant to keep, and in truth, breaking it is probably for the best. That. That is the definition of living without regret. Not hiding behind shadows, and hoping to avoid such things, but doing it anyway, and hoping for the best. Mercy of Ilmater keep him well. Blessed I am indeed. Very Blessed. It might have been crazy to come all this way… I can live with it. Needs must, and that is all that matters.

Rumors run rampant about a fire, and the nobleman that likely died within… whether or not there is more to come of it, well… Time reveals all mysteries. The others should be here soon, if they have not made it already to Trademeet. Perhaps tomorrow I will go to market with Dorine and see if any strangers have been poking about. A very specific few. For now… I need to tend my prayers, and I promised to help Dorine with supper.
~~