Salim el-Faddir: Archmage of Anarchy

[kitteninablender]

"But that is not the only potential outcome. No. The other...is that they become INFESTED."

"Infested? What do you mean?"

"It is the means by which Mindflayers reproduce. They literally infest a Host.

With a Tadpole..."

"The result of their infestation is that the...host...undergoes a powerful Metamorphosis. No. Not Metamorphosis...Metamorphosis is not the word.

The process is actually referred to as:

CEREMORPHOSIS

This process, however, is NOT instantaneous.

Ceremorphosis takes place over many, many days. The length of which is based upon the physical constitution of the Tadpole's "Host."

The first day or so is quite tame, in fact. It is during this time the Tadpole burrows it's way through the skull, and into the host's brain.

Inside of the brain, it takes hold. Affixes itself to the host's Spinal Cord. And begins the process, quite literally...

...of devouring the Brain from the inside out. This is when the Host's body begins to mutate.

"And what does this have to do with me, monster?"

"It is why you are what you are. How you became a Pseudonatural creature, Salim.

Because this process is what was happening to your Mother...while you were still in the womb."

[kitteninablender]

"The Phaerimm kept many slaves, Salim. They were so powerful, in fact, that they even enslaved MIndflayers. They enslaved Mindflayers. Beholders. Any species that they had the power to Dominate they did. And the horrors that were conducted upon their slaves were nothing short of BARBARIC.

They forced them into endless labor. Subjected them to endless magical experiments.

And, of course...bred them. Like Livestock. Because, to the Phaerimm, that is exactly what they were. Things to be toyed with.

They bred them in the most twisted combinations you can think of. Attempting to create new, more powerful monsters for them to control. More powerful aberrations to command. And in their experimentation they DRANK the desert Dry with their life-draining magicks.

Your ancestors, Salim...were among Bedine that were taken from the Anauroch. BEFORE it was a Wasteland. Before it was naught but death and sand"

"So you are saying this is where my Sorcerous bloodline comes from? I am descended from these Bedine? Those who were...experimented on?"

"Yes. It is the source of your aberrant bloodline. Though it has diluted over a thousand years...it was reawakened when your mother was infested by a Mindflayer Tadpole. The resulting Ceremorphosis she underwent "Jump-started" your Aberrant Bloodline. Forced its reemergence."

"Then how is it I have only NOW begun to...what did you call it? "Mutate?"

"Because of the nature of your powers."

"I don't understand."

"Then allow me to explain."

The Phaerimm used their powers over Necromancy and Transmutations to attempt to..."Fuse"...different creatures together. A process that is known as Transmogrification.

And Transmogrification is the process that is used to create a very...unique type of creature:

CHIMERA

[kitteninablender]

"Chimera. Yes. I know of these beasts. But aren't Chimera usually an amalgamation of animals? And a Dragon, perhaps?"

"Usually. But the Phaerimm, being that they were Aberrations, attempted to "Cross-breed" themselves with other Aberrations. They attempted to Mix them. Combine them. MERGE them..."

"So they attempted to create Chimera, but...Aberrant? So in other words they were attempting to..."

"Yes. They were creating Artificial Abominations."

"No. That's not the phrase we use for such...horrors. They were attempting..."

"Yes. They were attempting to play GOD!"


"And we all know what happens when Mortal beings, even ones as powerful as the Phaerimm, try and play 'God.'"

The Emissary and I nodded at each other. And the Emissary's form began to shift once again. This time into a Human. A man that I recognized only from the historical Tomes in which he appeared. And even so, I only knew him by description.

There were no pictures that remained of him. No paintings. No journals. No notes on his life. All but his name had been erased from history for the atrocity that he had committed.

A man who, in his arrogance, and his desire to usurp the powers of the Goddess of Magic herself completely destroyed an Empire. A man who's Hubris rewrote all of History.

We spoke his name in Unison.

"KARSUS!!!"

[kitteninablender]

"Yes. Karsus was attempting to steal the power of a God for himself. The Phaerimm...were trying to build their own.

For to have power over a God...is to be a God yourself. And the Phaerimm, in their infinite enmity, sought domination even over the Gods themselves. For to control the Gods was to control the world. And remake it to their liking."

"Or Destroy it completely."

"Semantics.So they experimented. And experimented. And they drew more and more and more of the life from the Desert to fuel their dark magicks. In their Hubris they destroyed the land.

And in Karsus' Hubris...he dropped an Enclave on it. The final nail in the proverbial coffin that laid the Anauroch to it's Final Rest.

During the moment that Magic failed...ALL Magic failed. Including the Magic of the Phaerimm. The Magicks that they stole from the weave were cut off. Meaning, of course.."

"The Domination magicks upon their slaves..."

"Correct. In that moment the Mind-control magicks that the Phaerimm had used to enslave their thralls was broken. And people forget something about the Bedine, Salim."

"And what is that?"

"That the Word for "Assassin" comes from the Bedine Tongue."

"...The Smokers of Hash."

"The Hashshashin"

"Indeed. The Phaerimm had no need to put their Thralls in cages. They gave them weapons. Armor. Used them as security. Used them for manual labor. They were already armed to the teeth. And in the moment Magic failed...the Magicks that allowed the Phaerimm to FLY were cut off as well.

In the air, Phaerimm are highly maneuverable and buoyant.

But on the ground, without their magicks to levitate them. Without their magicks to defend themselves...

...and without the ability to control their fully-armed, and wholly

PISSED-OFF SLAVES...

"..I get the picture..."

[kitteninablender]

"Yes. Those were your ancestors Salim. You are descended from those Bedine that the Phaerimm experimented on all those centuries ago. But it was the unique circumstances of your birth that have...awakened your lineage."

"What were you saying about my mother? She was undergoing some sort of..."Metamorphosis?"

"Yes. You see, Salim: Your Mother was.....infested...with a Mindflayer Tadpole while she was still pregnant with you. And the process of Ceremorphosis is one that takes many, many days. During which time the body undergoes a transformation into a new Mindflayer. It starts within the brain, as the Tadpole consumes the mind from within. And then begins to spread, assimilating the entire body and transforming it into a new Illithid."

"So essentially it's like a disease? They infest someone?"

"I suppose that's one way of looking at it. Yes. It's like a virus. The thing is, Salim, because you were in the womb YOU were undergoing
a change as well."

"WHAT!?"

"Yes. You see, Salim, your mother was in the beginning of the third trimester of pregnancy when she got "infected." And let me give you little lesson about Transmutation magicks: If a woman changes into a Bear while she is pregnant...the baby changes into a bear too. Inside of her womb."

"Truly? That's amazing...but why? How?"

"Otherwise the baby would die. If the mother was no longer biologically capable of carrying the infant after her transformation the baby would die. Ergo if the mother changes: Baby does too. If the mother becomes a Dragon...the child becomes an incubating egg."

"So what would happen if a Druid gave birth while she was a bear? She'd give birth to a bear?"

"Yes. But the moment that the umbilical cord was cut, and the infant was separated from it's mother...it would return to human form. Because it is now separated from the source of the transmutation magicks that changed it."

"That is....eerily fascinating. And more than just a little morbid."

"But in YOUR case, Salim, Ceremorphosis, even though it is a magical transmutation, is a complete and utter change of the subjects biological structure. The body's entire physiological structure undergoes a complete change. Organs reform themselves. Some organs are replaced entirely. And in the case of children who are in the womb, well..."

"..it should have killed me."

"Illithid are Asexual. Genderless. There are no male or female Mindflayers. And as the genders of the creature they have assimilated begin to disappear...your mother was no longer capable of biologically sustaining you. To put it plain: It forced her into labor."

"I see..."

"It is why you were so physically frail as a child. You were born prematurely. Nearly 2 months early in fact. By all rights you should have been too weak to survive. But because of the fact that you had begun to already change in the womb. And with your....unique heritage.....

...you Mutated!!."

[/size]

[kitteninablender]

"Mutated? I...do not know this term."

"Mutation is....well...it's when things in nature spontaneously change over time. Completely at random."

"That can happen!? How!?"

"Oh yes. And I'm more than willing to teach you all about it...if you're willing to do something you never do."

"Which is?"

"Shut the hell up. And LISTEN for once.."

"A....alright..."

"Good. Now then: Every few generations creatures can, sometimes, spontaneously change. Most of these changes are completely irrelevant. But some of them, even though they are minor...make all the difference in the world..."

"Take...the Polar bear for instance. No difference between a Polar Bear and a Black Bear...except for one. The color of their Fur."

"Thing is...in the Frozen Tundra, which is covered in Snow, which Bear do you think is going to have more luck sneaking up on a seal at the edge of the water? A bear with black fur, that sticks out like a sore thumb? Or a Polar Bear, who can blend into it's own environment?"

"The Polar Bear, obviously. It's better adapted to it's own environment."

"Obviously. The thing is: The mutation that caused the bear to have different fur was completely random. But because of that random "Roll of the Dice", that bear gained an advantage over the other bears around him. Which enabled him to eat. Which then enabled him, of course.."

"To breed."

"Precisely. That Bear then passed those traits to his offspring. Who passed it onto theirs, and they to their's. And from generation to generation an entirely new species was created from one single, simple, yet drastic change."

"Mutation.."

"Yes. But the thing about Mutations, Salim, is that they CAN BE FORCED..."

"Like Ceremorphosis.."

"Yes. Your aberrant bloodline was passed from generation to generation. However, just like all blood that intermixes and interbreeds with other species: It diluted. It diluted again and again until by the time it had gotten to your generation it was all but completely gone. That was, of course, until the change was forcibly triggered. Because the thing about Mutation....it can happen in reverse. And blood REMEMBERS."

[kitteninablender]

"What do you mean that "Blood remembers?"

"Ah, yes, I forget that you have spent so much time among a species of Hairless Ape that do not understand the basics of their own physiology. So allow me to give you something that most people in your day and age don't get to receive. A proper Science lesson..."

"A Science lesson?" I scoffed .

"Indeed. But in order to show you what I need to show you I need to...alter your perspective a little bit."

The Emissary reached forward and proceeded to tear a single long hair from my beard. I winced in pain as he did so. The creature chuckled, darkly, and from his pocket produced a magnifying glass.

"This single strain of hair is composed of hundreds of thousands of infinitesimal.."pieces." Think of them like...like...the "Building Blocks" of your body."

"I don't follow..."

"Right, how to explain it best? Hmm..So think of each of us, each of you, as being built up of trillions of tiny little pieces. And each of these tiny little pieces of you are alive. And they replicate themselves. Build themselves. It is the process by which you grow.

They are called.....

..Cells."

"Cell? Like...a cage?"

"In a sense, yes. Each of these tiny cells is like a prison, that contains all the inner-working pieces of it. Trillions of tiny little machines. All of them working endlessly to build, grow, and regenerate your own body. Self-replicating themselves again, and again, until they eventually die."

"They die?"

"Oh yes. Tens of thousands of them every day. You wash away several thousand of them every time you bathe. But by the time you wash them away they have already replicated their own replacements."

"This is nonsense. Madness. Fantasy. You mean to tell me that people are made of trillions of these things? And that each of them is like...a tiny world? Within our own body?"

"That is exactly what I am saying. Is it so far-fetched? Think of the world in which we live, Salim. Dragons. Demons. Are you truly telling me that with all you have seen? All you have experienced? That with all the monsters that lurk within the shadows and dwell in the hearts of Man...that something like a "Cell" is so preposterous?"

[kitteninablender]

"Very well then. Suppose I am willing to listen, and believe that these..."cells"..exist..why are mine different than anyone else's?"

"Because of your Aberrant Bloodline, Salim, your cells are in a state of continuous metamorphosis."

"You mean..I'm mutating?"

"Constantly. Your biology is comprised of the make-up of numerous Aberrations, Salim. And because these "Parts" of these different aberrations all linger within your blood when your mother underwent Ceremorphosis they were all very violently reawakened. Specifically the highly metamorphic traits...of a MALAUGRYM."

"That is what you are, I will assume, with all the shape-shifting..."

"Correct."

"Tell me of the Malaugrym.."

"We are the children of Malaugadorn. The first human being who ever passed into the Plane of Shadow."

"I thought it was the Netherese who were the first to enter that place? The Arcanists of the City of Shade?"

"LIES! SLANDER!!"

"Seems I hit a nerve.."

"You have a talent for such, Archmage of Anarchy. But yes: The Malaugrym are the children of Malaug. The first mortal man who ever stepped forth into the Plane of Shadow. But stepping forth into this place had...ramifications..that befell his body."

"He mutated..."

"Astute as ever, Salim. Yes. He mutated. The ambient magicks of the transition that took him from the prime material into the Plane of Shadow dissolved his physical form, and left him forever changed. But he discovered that his own form had become mutable. Amorphous. Able to change itself however he wished. What he gained, Salim, is the same gift that YOU now possess...

"Complete control over EVERY CELL in his body."



"A truly Perfect shapeshifter."

[kitteninablender]

"I see. So naturally Malaug was able to sire many children because..well.."

"And he did. But because of his nature, all of his children were pure Malaugrym. Not tainted by the lesser races. Not poisoned by their weakness. Their inferiority.."

"You really do consider yourself superior, don't you?"

"Am I not? I am ageless. I can assume any shape I wish. Be anything I wish. Go anywhere I wish. Adapt however I wish. My body is completely immune to venom. I can devour almost any organic material, and survive in conditions that would destroy most lesser beings."

"Perhaps you are. Not that humans are anything truly impressive anyways.."

"No they aren't. You have always felt different from them haven't you Salim? Always felt that you never truly belonged among their ilk."

"I will admit..I have always felt different. Somehow. I've always felt more..."

"Malicious? Devious? Like mortal beings were merely playthings for your amusement? Tell me I speak falsely, Archmage of Anarchy? Tell me that I do not know you as well as you know yourself?"

"Considering we are inside of a dream, it is not surprising. Considering that I'm essentially speaking to a figment of my imagination."

"I am quite real, Salim. I am an Emissary of Caiphon. The Dream Whisperer. An entity as ancient as the Stars themselves. She who has whispered into the dreams of Man since the very beginning when you hairless apes were still painting on your cave walls and flinging sh-t at each other.."

"We have been in this dream for a very long time..."

"In dreams, time is meaningless. The ability to acknowledge the passing of time is an aspect of the conscious mind. Within a dream, time flows as quickly or as slowly as we choose to perceive it. Seconds. Minutes. Hours. Centuries. They are all meaningless in a dream. Moments can become days...if we imagine them to be so. It is for this reason that Caiphon speaks to mortals this way, within the dreamscape. For in this manner She can send Her emissaries to speak to those who would petition Her at great length."

"To what end?"

"Why, Salim....She sends us to HELP of course...."

"I am skeptical..."

"Because you're not an idiot. And because while it might be fun to do as we Malaugrym usually do and lie, deceive, manipulate...no. You're the type of chaotic bastard I can speak plainly to. And to speak plain, Salim:

I want to TEACH YOU."

[kitteninablender]

"Teach me what, precisely?"

"To use the full extent of your powers. To realize the full depth of your potential. You claim to be an Archmage, but, are you truly? Sure, you've learned a few interesting tricks, but...no. You are still very much an Amateur. And I intend to make you better. At everything."

"In exchange for what? I know how these arrangements work, creature. There is always a catch. Always a trade. Or do you forget that I am a Thaumaturge as well? I'm fully aware of the...intricacies...of bargaining with creatures from other Planes."

"Do you now? Very well then. I negotiate a cohabitation of the subconscious metacognitive awareness of the one known as "Salim." In exchange for the promise of Physical, Psychological, and even, perhaps, Spiritual Apotheosis."

"...Come again?"

"But, Salim, I thought you considered yourself a master of negotiation? That's one of the most basic contracts that can be made among interplanar beings."

"You're also mistaking me for a Warlock. An imbecile who bargains away whatever piece of his soul and mind for whatever scraps of power they can suckle from their Interdimensional Sugar Daddy."

"Oh, I completely agree. Warlocks are the very definition of Arcane (germbag). But, then again, you don't exactly consider the term "(germbag)" to be an insult, considering you are a follower of Bast, no?"

"Oh, I never said there was anything wrong with it. Only that the people who do it are clearly idiots...who don't know how to actually negotiate."

"Which is why interdimensional beings love them so much. The very definition of "Copper Stock." Little investment. Potential huge return, if the circumstances are just right. And if lost, well..."

"Also completely expendable."

"Once again. Astute as always, Archmage of Anarchy. This is why you are an Archmage, after all. You're smarter than the average hairless monkey walking about. But you're hardly a Genius."

"I'm a Sorceror. I'm not supposed to be a Genius. I'm just supposed to be charming enough that I'm able to convince people I am..."

"Oh, you're more than Charming, Salim. Tell me. Do you know how it is Sorcerors are able to use their Personality to change Reality?"

"I've always wondered. It's a mystery I've lost sleep over."

"I know. Or do you forget that being an Emissary of Caiphon, the Dream Whisperer, I'm well aware of your sleeping habits. You take many drugs just to be able to sleep, don't you?"

"It's...the only way that I can.."

"The only way you can slow down your brain enough to be able to sleep. Because your brain goes a million lightyears a minute whether you want it to or not. It's the burden of intelligence, Salim. But because of your Aberrant, Chaotic, ever-shifting heritage...you have no ability to Focus."

"You...do know me too well, Emissary."

"But that is not what I am here to teach you. No. I am here to teach you to control the powers of your Body. There is...Another..who would teach you to unlock the powers of your mind."

"Another Emissary?"

"Indeed. An Ulitharid. A powerful telepath. One who, like me, can speak through dreams."

"You wish me to ALLOW an Ulitharid into my mind?"

"You must admit...at least I am granting you the benefit..of asking permission."

"Just like the way you asked permission to be inside of my mind now."

"You remember the Tome you read? The one where you learned a name? Reading that Book, Salim, was the equivalent of reading the "Brochure." Your willingness to read the book...was the invitation for me to come in. However..it is not my invitation to Stay. Only you Can make that Decision. I give you 24 hours to consider my offer. Knowledge...in exchange for, merely, a space in your mind. A place to linger. Where we may speak...but I may not INFLUENCE."

"As you wish, Emissary. 24 hours to consider."

"Then I leave you to wake, Salim. And.....good morning."

[kitteninablender]

I awoke in a daze. With a headache the likes of which felt as though my head were about to split in two. I proceeded to fix my morning coffee. Always a good idea to help one wake up, as well as relieve any hangover symptoms.

As I did my morning stretches I considered what the Emissary had told me in my dreams. They were so vivid. So real. They couldn't be real? Could they?

The Emissary explained to me why he wanted me. To recruit me. To spread the one known as "Caiphon's" influence upon the Prime Material.

Who was Caiphon? What did they want? And why did it involve me?

Curioser and Curioser. But this is one rabbit hole I wasn't sure I was ready to dive into.

Then again: the offer of the Emissary was infinitely tempting. Am I indeed beyond mere men? Do I, in fact, possess the potential to become a God as the Emisarry so claimed?

Salim. The God of Chaos. Does sort of have a rather nice ring to it, now that you mention it. But no. The last time a mortal being tried to forcibly use magic to become a God it backfired. Severely. Karsus is proof that the hubris of Man knows no bounds. We are not meant to be Gods. We are not worthy....

...or are we? Why not me? Why shouldn't I be a God? Gods are capricious, malicious con-men who lie and deceive us at each and every turn. Toy with us like playthings, and cast us aside when we are no longer useful to them.

Gods drain us of our prayers, demand our endless adulation and submission. They brainwash us, convince us that we love them, when in reality it is our Fear of them that leads us to our false subservience. We fear them. Fear what will happen if we do NOT submit.

We fear....The Wall.

The Wall of the Faithless. Which surrounds the City of Judgment of the Fugue Plane. Built and mortared by the countless souls of mortal beings who swear no Fealty to a God.

It is very symbol of the Tyranny of Gods. A monument to their supremacy over mortal beings. A testament to their totalitarianism.

"Worship us. Or be consumed. Give us your faith...or be destroyed."

It poses the question that all mortals should ask of their own faith:

"Is the choice between Eternal Submission...or Annihilation......really a choice at all?"

Perhaps there is something to what the Emissary of Caiphon told me. One must have power like a God...to be able to Stand up to a God.

Perhaps I would indulge the Emissary's request. If the knowledge that the Emissary could provide me could make me into a God...

No!! No!! This is madness!! This is Heresy!! This is...this is...

.....the ultimate form of Anarchy. Defiance of the Very Gods themselves.

It is time. It is my destiny. My duty as a Chaotician...

To oppose CONTROL.

I am Salim el-Hajib et-Hital el-Faddir. The Archmage of Anarchy.

And Tonight --- I begin my path to GODHOOD!!

[kitteninablender]

I am truly beginning to go mad.

What kind of rabbit hole have I fallen into? How deep does the Rabbit Hole go?

And just how far am I going to have to keep digging until I reach rock bottom, I wonder?

But what lies at the bottom of the Rabbit Hole?

Is it a wondrous Wonderland?

Or a nightmare beyond all imagining?

Are there answers?

Or only more questions still?

And so within my mind I keep digging.

Digging deeper and deeper.

Reaching out, further, into infinity. My mind going further and further out.

Until, one day, it might not be able to find it's way home.

But that's alright.

Because I am truly starting to believe...

...we are ALL mad here.

[kitteninablender]

I got a beating today from the Flaming Fist.

The idiots had returned from the Fields of the Dead, wounded. So since I'm not a medic, I summoned one to help. Which, of course, because I summoned something causes the idiots to turn and commence to beat me half to death.

So I've made a decision:

I do not care if the Flaming Fist are actually on fire. I will not p-ss on them to put them out.

This is what people are like. You try to help them. But because you do something they don't understand their first reaction, being the imbeciles they are, is to smash your face in without even stopping to question it.

It's time. I've had enough of the incompetence of people. Had enough of the inherent stupidity that befalls Mankind.

I am not human. I do not belong among these...hairless apes.

Look at them. Look at how STUPID they are. They breed out of control. Overpopulate. And slaughter each other by the thousands.

They cage themselves in cities of rot and disease, and then call ME an animal because I choose not to be entrapped by such.

No. I am not human. I have surpassed these apes. I am meant for more.

I am born of things beyond this world. And thus I must leave this world behind...eventually.

Soon. Very soon I will join my progenitors. Soon I will cast aside this frail, mortal form.

Soon...I will take my place among the Stars.

My place...among the Old Ones.


Soon. Very. Soon.

[kitteninablender]

I went to sleep. Sweet, sweet medicated sleep.

I awoke inside of a clearing, with gnarled trees upon all sides of me.

The trees themselves were nightmarish. On their sides were eyes, and mouths, and the tangled faces of creatures that writhed in agony and despair.

I stood upon an odd pathway that twisted and turned in odd directions. A path that seemed to make no sense whatsoever either logically or geometrically.

It was obvious, however, the purpose of this pathway. I was intended to follow.

A pathway with sights otherwordly. Both equally wondrous in their beauty...and horrific in their nightmarish visage.

On each side of the road, I could see the dreadful silhouette of unseen voyeurs that lingered just on the edge of vision. As I turned to face them they were gone, just as quickly as they had emerged. I was being watched. On all sides. By monsters unseen who had clearly taken interest in my presence here.

Whatever this place was it was clear: I was not alone.

I walked, and I walked. And then I walked some more. Until my feet were heavy with weight. I feared to attempt teleportation, for I knew not the path I was on and this place was strange to me.

I finally, in the distance, saw the end of this winding pathway. It stood before a massive set of double-doors. They were covered in numerous runes from an alien language that I could not comprehend.

Massive doors that seemed to be wrought of pure Gold.

The doors opened at my approach. And behind them I could see a vast, deep emptiness. As though I were staring into the abyss of the starlit night sky.

I could see forever in all directions, an endless void. And in the depths of this Void I could see what seemed like motion. Even in this place, it would seem, I was not alone. There were others.

... And they were watching me.

[kitteninablender]

I began to float through the endless abyss of Realmspace. Emptiness and void upon all sides, save for the lingering light of distant stars.

As I floated, and floated, for what seemed like an eternity I was finally approached by a floating light.

It was purple, with a luminescent haze that lit up the entire sky. Within my mind I could hear its voice echoing, asking me a simple question:

"Do you accept?"

"I do."

"You know what it means, then? You are going to give up your humanity."

"Good riddance."

"So be it...."

I could feel myself being pulled. Faster. Faster. Faster and faster still. I could feel myself accelerating, being drawn into the infinite darkness of Realmspace.

I went far. And then I went...even farther.

I saw such sights. Such splendors. Such wonders. I saw reality fold in upon itself. Time ceased to exist. Only the Chaos.

Only...the FAR REALM...

I could feel madness taking hold. My mind was slipping away. I could feel myself becoming unshackled from the heavy burden that was "Sanity."

I could feel my mind...being freed.

Freed from the burden of logic and order. Free from the pointless restraints of reason.

Such liberation I had never felt in my entire existence.

Yes, I was going Mad.

But that was alright.

For we are ALL Mad here...