Menolly Silverarrow ~ Reflections Beneath the Trees

[Oarthias]

Reflections Beneath The Trees
Menolly Silverarrow
Druidess belonging to the pack of the Bear


I have met many who wish to remain close to their kin, and forge a path of their own making within the lands that they know. When I set out on my own path I had no plans of where to go, only seeking to step out of the shadows cast by my parents.

I think it only natural that the young wish to set out from their parents. Just like it is natural for the fledglings to leave their nest, so they might fly and thrive. Many, kin and bird alike, will fall prey to a predator they didn’t see in time.

I am the one that shouldn’t have survived. I shouldn't have even made it out of the nest, with the odds stacked so high against me even as I was being born. Because of this I feel I have more to prove... Not just to those who cried out against me being protected by others, but even more so to myself. I am worthy of life, and of the air I struggle to breathe. It is myself that I wish to prove this to the most.

Words were a big part of what the Arch Druidess impressed upon me as being important. Words said and unsaid needed to find a balance, just as much as the natural world we protect. Her reasons back then for those teachings were for a different purpose than for which I have used them. As my body is unable to endure as much as others would, any wrong words said could very well mean the difference between being attacked, or being able to safely walk away without confrontation.

Because of my teachings words have normally come rather easily for me. As of late, however, given my newfound company, I am finding more often than not that there are times when I feel so over-flooded with thoughts and emotions that I do not know how to put them into words. It is a frustrating experience while it is also exhilarating.

I was not actively seeking out others to aid me, other than perhaps a Circle to fellow druids, but I had no wish for any sort of relationship. On occasion I found someone to hunt with, but even then I had no real desire to ever speak or travel with them again. Most I have met run heedlessly in an unproductive manner, and rush where they should take greater care. However, I found one who gives me pause...

It was a good hunt and that was... unexpected. It wasn’t the fact that he is an impressive warrior, actions that far differed from those blundering adventurers, it was the way in which he guided me, making sure I would be capable of coming back on my own. Not a teacher to a student, but one passing knowledge along to a respected peer. Did he sense that I needed to prove myself… to myself? Or was this just simply because I was a kin of the woods? Perhaps, it could have been a bit of both.

It was with a puffed up chest that he declared his goal was to be a great warrior, to be as strong as the bear in the forest. I feel that one day… he will be that and more. It is a noble goal, working to be strong, not for vanity, but for his need to protect the pack, the people, and the forest.

After the hunt we made a camp, sharing a meal as we conversed about ourselves. He was open and candid, he did not hold back his words nor hide their meaning. He spoke of his pack and of their traditions after the hunt. His expression was neutral, yet friendly and warm, placing no pressure on me. Yet his jade colored eyes called to me in a way I didn’t understand. "Had we been in my village now, even as a guest, you would have been required to honor that tradition.”

I felt the blood rush to my cheeks at the very idea! Yet, I pondered this tradition long enough that it brought a vision of my father standing within a nearby shadow. An arrow was notched and pointed towards the man that chose to be so bold... Had it been real… the arrow wouldn’t have missed. When I blinked… he was gone.

I managed to escape the pull... the doe, fleeing the bear... as it should... so I had thought.

My first impression of him? He is... intense. A presence that overwhelms your senses. Honest and raw. Which is both exciting and overwhelming in a world, where small lies and false smiles hide the true words and intentions. When we parted ways... I had hoped I would never see him again… to avoid a pull I felt that would distract from my goals, that would keep me from discovering who and what I can be.

Now... I am beginning to see how gloriously wrong I was…

[Oarthias]

The Roar of the Bear
Menolly Silverarrow
Druidess belonging to the pack of the Bear


I have flaws.

Am I aware of all of them? That would be doubtful.

But I do… have flaws.

I am proud that I can admit such a truth… to not be so full of pride that I am blind to them. Pride gets in the way of learning, where there is pride there is fear, as they are intimate companions. There are some that would disagree, but I would ask them to think on this. Pride can prevent one from being who they should be due to a fear of failing, a fear of being wrong, a fear of facing a truth. It is those fears that cause one to take foolish actions, acting irrationally in order to prove someone wrong, forging ahead despite very real risks… desperate to prove that they are no coward. The cost of denial… is often death.

I embrace my flaws, not to nurture them, keeping them as they are, but to learn from them and to grow. I am determined to thrive and to seek wisdom and knowledge, I am determined to stay true to the balance as I walk this path.

My most visible and obvious flaw would be my body, it is not hard to take notice of my small stature and that my body constantly battles to breathe and keep up with me. I find that I must constantly remind myself that this will be something that will always be a struggle and I must embrace it and find a way to work around my lack of endurance.

Calling upon the spirits of the animals and changing form in combat... it was not really a concept I had really thought about before. This tactic was not something the Arch Druidess spent a lot of time or energy focusing on in her teachings to me. I however, should have thought of this much sooner.

I have taken a number of beatings as I tried to remain in my own skin and licking my wounds at the end of the day was a humbling task. It was in a cave full of orcs while I was hunting with Bear that I first felt this overpowering call from within me. The mighty roar of an angry bear, not just upset at the orcs that now surrounded us, but at me. I answered with a roar of my own and found myself suddenly lashing out at our attacks with large paws instead of my weapon. It wasn’t until the orcs had all fallen and Bear’s eyes met mine that I paused to think about it.

My body felt… large and powerful. Something that it has never felt before.

Pride.

My eyes locked onto Bear’s and there I could detect such an enormous amount of pride and wonder, emotions that were likely reflecting from my own eyes. There was a little bit of surprise there too of course. A bear… I had changed into a bear! A fierce protector and a symbol of strength and courage!

This was a monumental moment, a realization that washed over me. I -can- survive, I -can- defend, I -can- protect the balance in a way that I never thought possible. Communing with the spirits of the forest animals around me. I can invoke their spirit to aid me and take their shape for a time so that I can be a protector of the balance.

I am thankful that… I was able to move past my need to flee from the elven warrior, Bear. It is from him that I find myself drawing my strength. He doesn’t let me wallow in self-pity when I make mistakes. He gives encouragement to do better. He helps me to understand things that only experience can teach and he shares his knowledge of the druidesses of his old clan. While he hasn’t experienced the how of what they can do, he can share the knowledge of what they were able to accomplish. It helps me to piece some of my own knowledge together and apply it in different ways. I have grown so much already since I have come here.

There are thoughts I have on Bear that aren't just about him aiding me as I grow as a druidess, other experiences that he has shared with me that make my toes curl just thinking about it... but… those thoughts would hardly be appropriate to linger on right now… not when there is actual work that needs to be done today. Perhaps, later tonight though... when we are alone… (And the druidesses thoughts go completely down hill despite her best efforts and we will leave those thoughts to the delightful fading of black.)

[Oarthias]

Meditation in the Grove
Menolly Silverarrow
Druidess belonging to the pack of Bear

Sheara decided to tag along this morning as I wandered towards the Grove that we had discovered a few days before. The panther comes and goes now; I believe that she is perhaps not feeling as if she must always be around to protect me. With my growing strength in taking the form of the bear along with Bear’s presence on most hunts, perhaps she feels as if I need more space in order to grow. I know that she is with me because the Arch Druidess asked it of her, but I do hold a secret fondness for her. Not that one should ever let the cat know such a thing... being the moody beast that she is.

Sheara stays to the trees as I enter the vacant clearing. The divine magic of the grove caresses my own, feeling much like a welcoming embrace from kin after returning home. I remove my boots and step deeper inside the grove. There is a gentle rustling of the leaves overhead,distant waves crashing against the cliff, and the chattering of creatures large and small who live among these trees... all add to the music of this grove.

I take the time not to just hear my surroundings, but to listen to what they have to say.

The birds this morning are especially vocal and it is to them I focus my attention during this visit. There is an enticement for a mate to the right of me. A distance off in front of me, there is a warning that there is danger wandering about below them. Behind me, one complains about his morning meal not being his favorite bug. Close by to my left is a song welcoming the new day. It is a beautiful song and closing my eyes I focus on that melody till it is finished and the bird flies off.

I make my way slowly around the circle outside the stones, laying a hand on a few of the trees that are taking watch, greeting my new friends. To the soft ground I take my staff and draw a rune at the base of the larger of the trees. These runes represent my oath, my prayer, my dedication to The Leaflord, Lady of the Forest, and to the balance.

The runes drawn, I step to the center of the circle. My naked feet brush against the ground, I feel the power of Toril below me; magic and life pulse like a heartbeat that is only amplified in this place. I breathe in for four heartbeats and release the air for another four and I repeat this until I feel that I have centered myself.

“My oath is to keep my feet upon the path… to the Druid’s way. Keeping the rites and our works, honoring the gods and the spirits of nature that call to me, and I vow to deepen my understanding of our ways ”

“In protection there is strength,
And in strength there is wisdom,
And within that wisdom, there is knowledge.”

“Strength, wisdom, and knowledge of the balance… it is with these I am able to do the tasks that need to be done. Through the elements I am able to bring destruction to the enemies of the balance and through the powers of nature's life I am granted the touch to heal. So in my prayers, I ask that I continue to grow in these things with the confidence that I will never hesitate in that which needs to be done; to guard, tend, heal, and defend.”

Setting my staff aside I raise my arms above my head and close my eyes. Once more I breathe in four heartbeats and release the air for another four and I visualize my feet becoming roots reaching and growing into the forest around me. I begin to feel a connection to everything around me, aware of more than just my body's senses could ever do alone. I am wrapped in life: not just the plants, but the nearby gnolls, birds, wolves, the tiny insects skittering about, I feel Sheara’s presence and then I feel the arriving presence of my mate. Being connected to so much life is exhilarating and soon becomes overpowering… and so I focus on bringing my roots back in.

This was a practice the Arch Druidess would have us do, reaching out to remind us that we are connected to all things. While I felt a connection to the life there in Amia, here I feel different. Here... I feel more of a pull… a warmth... as if… I am where I am supposed to be.

[Oarthias]

Bear with Menolly Bear

Elf turns bear
Mate stands proud
Druidess and warrior

Foreheads touch
Elf and Bear
Words unneeded

Paws and claws
Blades in hand
The hunt begins

Prey is marked
Down they fall
Victory claimed

To camp return
Blushing cheeks
A warrior's reward

[Oarthias]

(Trying to catch up on these!)
A Druidess Well Met
Menolly Silverarrow
Druidess belonging to the pack of Bear


Iolana, she is the druidess that left her own markings in reply to my own in the Grove that Bear and I found. She is a part of the local Circle here, who seem to be a bit harder to find then I thought they might be. She told me that they had to be a bit more careful in coming forward and welcoming others due to issues with a necromancer. I think that there is a little more to it than just that, but I shall keep that opinion to myself for now.

We have spoken a few times now. My first impression of her was a pleasant one, she is friendly, easy to speak to, and I find her mothering nature to be enduring. Being able to see it as enduring though, that is likely because she isn’t smothering me with over protective care like a few have attempted in the past. Here my roots may stretch out and grow without becoming rootbound.

She and I have come from completely different backgrounds. That was a bit unexpected. I suppose it is naive of me to assume that most that walk our path grow up in a Circle. I know that not all that were born in our Grove remained there… but we had taken in the young from some of villages where the parents noticed an early calling in their offspring. They were raised in our Grove or on occasion one of the smaller scattered Circles that acted under ours.Very rarely was one called to walk the path later in life on our island… but perhaps that is because the Arch Druids and the other druids, that worked with their villages and cities, are so well known and respected that it was seen as an honor to walk our path just the same as any other.

Something... that I seem to have taken for granted.

The teachings that I grew up learning… it is lacking here. I will admit I find that disheartening and I wonder if there is a place for me here within their Circle. Traditions, ceremonies, and the races of who walked the path here... those things I had expected to be different. I had expected to find teachers that knew infinitely more than I. There was still much to learn back in the Circle I left, but there was always more to be learned so I did not give that much thought thinking I would pick up where I left off in a new Circle. Now, I wonder if I have hindered my own walk by leaving as I did. Here perhaps... I will be called to teach and share as I continue to learn what they have to offer.

Iolnana declared that she was not a teacher; that there were others that could likely teach me what I desired a bit more easily. Yet, she continued to talk and share about how finding forms and finding a connection with them. The words spoken clicked into place for me, helping to connect pieces of knowledge I had already but had not quite connected together yet. She is a better teacher than she realizes. Conquering self doubt, seems to be a battle we all must fight.

As for myself… I will become a great shifter of shapes. I will because I must do so to survive.