Resignation

[Anchor]

To voice their opinion as is their right regardless. Just because a statement has been made doesn't necessarily mean "okay everyone, its over."

My statement on backing what my fellow staffers said wasn't an attack or shun of the admin. Zann and I talk and we have a good relation. But I know that he understands if players need to vent or want to voice, then, it is their right. Nobody is attacking anyone, just voicing their concern.

Absolutely, people have their right, never suggested otherwise. Just didn’t know this was an open vent session for the player base either.

[Anchor]

I don't like long posts, I try to keep things short, but I felt I wanted to share more about my time at bg staff.


My background IRL:

IRL I am a project lead of an international software team for a major publicly traded company. I oversee the team's check-ins, code reviews, unit testing, continuous integration, and I know the complete product and architecture end-to-end for each project I lead. Usually I am called in to help a legacy product that is having problems for customers, but sometimes I am also part of a complete re-design effort of an existing product.

This is what I do for a living. I am very successful and get proven results. You can see for yourself my applied knowledge that has caused the server timer to be bumped up to 9 hours and hold stable -- an increase in the timer that Endelyon herself had said she has been uncomfortable increasing since 2016.

In addition I hold several degrees, one of which is an MS in Computer Science. I have a deep background in legacy code and root cause analysis.


On topics of BG dev team:


Working with others:

Make no mistake -- I could not have achieved the results by myself it takes a whole team of people.

On the bg team I championed collab work more than anyone else on the team. I have completed more collabs than anyone else in my time there. I have also encouraged and conducted crosstalk on code reviews and have worked one-on-one with staff members explaining methodologies and coding even at the simplest level.

I took the initiative to seek people outside of bg staff who had critical knowledge to NWN2 engine and infrastructure. I engaged Edmaster, Crom, Skywing, and others -- prominent figures in the modding community. I spent long hours working with Skywing learning everything I could from him about NWN2 infrastructure and reverse engineering analysis, his tools and implementations of the technologies we use, and more. I worked with Crom on nwnx server technologies and far too much to summarize here. I also spent time discussing obscure bugs with Edmaster due to his vast experience leading another persistent world which helped greatly in cutting down time on some root cause investigations.

There's no way I could have solved all of the instability issues the server faced on my own. I did not work in some silo not working with others. I am not a difficult person to work with. On the contrary I encouraged more teamwork and sought out others to ask questions and get help when I needed it.

On "unfitness":

I have never once said anyone on our team in bg was "unfit" even when it was evident that their skills in a particular area were on the weaker side. A leader is meant to empower and inspire their subordinates and team members. Telling someone they are "unfit" is one of the lowest emotionally iq things you can say to a team member. Instead, I always spent time to help tutor or carefully explain something to the best of my ability in an effort to empower the team mate to be able to succeed. Telling someone they are unfit pushes them away whereas empowering them with your experience and knowledge instead makes them more of an asset to the team.


Final Thoughts:

Based on this I think I would be a great lead. The fact that my team mates didn't even consider me at all during this selection -- not even any notice that it was even going on at all -- bothers me greatly. Completely ignoring someone on your team, and then after-the-fact demoralizing them by calling them unfit -- I'm sorry but a simple apology and asking me to roll over and accept these results isn't enough for me to stay on.

Thank you for your contributions. You sound like a force of nature. From a random internet person, I hope you do stay for your own enjoyment. Humans make mistakes.

[Aspect of Sorrow]

It's tough to aspire to something but not quite reach the goal. As Gedwey points out administration isn't solely technical prowess but feet put firmly to multiple disciplines; seeing your response regarding your real life accomplishments I imagine you can recognize why this pertinent. Administration at BGTSCC takes more than leading a design team, it requires patience, temperance, reconciliation with worldviews, opinions, and direction that isn't your own. Successful guidance largely comes from the bottom flowing toward the top of the echelon with empathetic understanding and actionable results. Emotional intelligence must go hand in hand with one's own technical intelligence and sometimes one may have to step back and consider what yardstick they are using to gauge their own by in comparison to where they may need to be.

My own RL work of the past fifteen years can be seen from a range of things, from Nintendo Wii release of the Activision Barbie horse game where I was principle developer for the controller functionality up to U.S. based satellite launches for varying government entities and contributed to the NASA's OpenStack virtualization platform, a small part too with OEI's PW features on the Storm of Zehir expansion for NWN2. This PW from it's inception. The skills we've acquired over the years certainly contributes to the PW but does it translate 1:1 to different projects, scopes, group personalities? I'd argue that it doesn't, as the relevancy is to a specific task. I've witnessed a 17 year old self learned, without a college degree, successfully manage a Linux distro spin development group. Personality and the ability to not just manage a project that isn't just software is a different kind of a learned skill.

I've known of Rhifox a few years prior to their joining of BGTSCC, a person that is dedicated to accomplishing something, even if there's a few bugs and mistakes along the way, Rhi has demonstrated being able to go out of their way to make sure as much can be accounted for as possible before a decision is fully set in stone. Equally important, Rhifox is a person who is active in the PW as a player too which cannot be an understated attribute, especially for the perspective of events transpiring within game as much as it is happening on the forum, Discsord, elsewhere.

Valefort has been as dedicated to the project as they've come, often eschewing political debates in favor of keeping to lore or theme as heavily as possible. This was the original direction of the project from over a decade ago, and while there may be points that can be stated regarding status quo on some decisions, at minimum the playerbase can recognize his efforts are toward a general balance and continuity of the project, and he doesn't do too bad of a job hunting error where it may hide.

What you may have missed is that the BGTSCC project ebbs and flows in contribution, both from its community as well as its staff. A cycle of inspiration may drive a person to map a set of things but may take some time after wrap-up to revitalize, and not every staff member marches to the same drum, to the same work ethics, to the same precision, nor to the same output, and at times you have to find the ability to be content with that result if it results in a net boon to the community, and the community approves. No one is out to dismiss your contributions, but your efforts, your time, your dedication, should be recognized and stood to its own rather than standing it next to someone else's and attempt comparison with a limited set of perspectives.

You could be a great lead, Dae, but things aren't always so procedural, so black and white, nor vetted through an HR department. In a perfect world, in a perfect setting a thread like this wouldn't have to be made, but we have to temper expectation and strive to do what's best not for ourselves but for the project, its community, and what kind of legacy we leave it to.

[Ewe]

Look, Z already admitted he had been gone for 3 months and had no time and this wasn't conducted properly. Thing is the trust is lost now.

Had things been conducted correctly would VF and Rhi have still risen to power? Quite possibly. This isn't a matter of qualifications, this is a matter of trust.

They now have complete access to all the private admin forums, channels, etc. There's no way I can trust that they won't continue to make secret decisions without including the rest of the staff, especially since they have carte blanc dev powers. I already saw this when VF, before even becoming admin, had launched a bgtscc jegs without even a warning to the rest of the staff that this was something in the pipe line that we would have to support.

If a small subset of the staff decides the entire future of the server without making their team feel included I would just grow to resent them out of sheer paranoia that they are having all the important discussions without us.

This is compassion. I sacrificed my own happiness for theirs. These are people I worked with and consider my friends. There's just no way I wouldn't grow resentful of them based on all this and so they are better off without me.

An apology and saying this won't happen again in the next admin handover 3-5+ years from now feels empty to me and won't allay my paranoia. This was a very difficult decision for me to make and I feel that if people still cannot see my side of this then there is nothing further I can do to explain it.

Being on a team where you do not feel included saps all the fun out of it.

[jclay65]

I won't say what is on my mind. I fear it might hurt someones feelings. I have been around for some time and seen the server go through many changes, good and bad. I think most of us really don't know what goes into keeping this server going and all the efforts that has gone into improving this wonderful game. So I'll just take this opportunity to thank everyone that has given so much of there time and effort to make this the best D&D server out there.

Thanks Dea, cya later!

[Tekill]

This thread made me cringe.
But I suppose we are all here for different reasons. For example, I'm here to be creative and have fun.
I have very little interest climbing the corporate latter of an old buggy game. So I do not see glaring conspiracies from my vantage point. My perspective is simple- when the fun stops then it's time to leave.


Thanks for your efforts Ewe.
Goodbye.

Oh and people seem to like you so come back anytime.

[Wildsheep]

This thread made me cringe.
But I suppose we are all here for different reasons. For example, I'm here to be creative and have fun.
I have very little interest climbing the corporate latter of an old buggy game. So I do not see glaring conspiracies from my vantage point. My perspective is simple- when the fun stops then it's time to leave.


Thanks for your efforts Ewe.
Goodbye.

Oh and people seem to like you so come back anytime.

A reasonable post in such an angery thread?
Oah

[edmaster]

This thread made me cringe.
But I suppose we are all here for different reasons. For example, I'm here to be creative and have fun.
I have very little interest climbing the corporate latter of an old buggy game. So I do not see glaring conspiracies from my vantage point. My perspective is simple- when the fun stops then it's time to leave.


Thanks for your efforts Ewe.
Goodbye.

Oh and people seem to like you so come back anytime.

This response made me cringe a bit

[DM SummerBreeze]

I think it goes without saying that your contributions to the server were noticed and seen by all, especially your stability improvements. I personally will be sad to see you go and to see the end of your contributions to the server as they were extremely valuable.

On the terms of leadership roles here, I can speak from some experience that sometimes as much as a person thinks they are fit for a role, or that they may want that role when it is offered to them, sometimes it is best to just...not. This is a (small) community and one that I know you really like, as do I as i've been here for over 10 years now, but a person can contribute without taking on the hassle of leadership in this place. It is a lot of work, unpaid work, and sometimes unappreciated work and that sort of just comes with the territory. If you are feeling unappreciated now, the admin position will only make that feeling worse over time as so many things you will do or work you have done will go completely unseen by many.

Leadership is also a lot more than just being skilled at something and wanting it badly, its about even temperament, attitude, ability to see an problem (or problem individual.) from all angles and most importantly in a community like this is the ability to empathize and approach others without taking their weight with you when you step back at the end of every night. These are skills that can't really be taught and you just have them or you dont. The other one, and the one I personally fail the most at is free time .

I really hope you don't see what happened as a personal slight against you as I am 100% certain that it was never meant to be as such. Sometimes decisions are just going to be made with or without you, or me, or anyone else for that matter. It just happens. You should be proud that you helped someone like Rhifox learn and become a valuable member of our team and then rise to become an admin that a lot of us are looking forward to working with and seeing what the future holds for us. Valefort is so well known by all of us, and is so dedicated as well as even-keeled that the choice there barely needs mention as it was such an obvious one. I think Dae, if you had chosen to stay on, you too could have worked with them toward other leadership roles of your own as well and brought a lot more to the server in time. I really do hope you reconsider at some point when the emotions swirling around this calm down a bit because personally I think you are fit for some sort of leadership position here. But these are also choices that are not mine to make, especially these days.

I really wish you well and good luck in everything you do.

[mastajabba]

Happy Trails my 2.5 friend. Perhaps someday we’ll make it to 3.5

My only regret is that we will never get to the bottom of the Tax Station Conspiracy.

You’re a good dude Dae.

[mrm3ntalist]

Welcome back