A Genasi Druid's Journal

[Fire Wolf]

A strange fire genasi druid carries a simple cloth bound journal.
Who knows what he might write within? Recipes, information on herbs, random paranoid and potentially bitter thoughts about the constant chaos on the coast? Maybe a song or two!

What ever it may be, he keeps it to himself. Perhaps he is too shy to share his writings with anyone. However, he might be caught drawing a thing or two in the book's pages and seems more willing to show off his artwork than his private thoughts.

Hidden: show

OOC NOTE: Teris may have some very harsh opinions on certain characters or behaviors. Anything of that sort that may be included in this journal at any point will be purely in character and not meant as anything negative about the actual players themselves.
Also, please keep in mind that your character would know nothing about what's in this journal unless told or shown in character.

[Fire Wolf]

Most of the page has been torn away, leaving only the bottom piece. A small note has been attached to the remnant with sewing thread.

I'm cleaning some things out of here. Maybe it will help to move on a little.

This is supposed to be Osric. I don't know why I drew him like this.

[Fire Wolf]

This page has been covered up with paint and inks carelessly applied, seeming to be intended to make the contents of the page disappear rather than being a serious art piece.

[Fire Wolf]

"Do you love me?" asked the mole.
The bird replied, "With all my heart."
So the mole said, "Come and live with me beneath the dirt forever more."
The bird cried, "I will do this, but I wish to touch the sky and see the sun which shines on me and makes my feathers warm."
But the mole said, "If you leave me, I'll be lonely. I wish to hold your claws in mine. I want to see you with me and watch you smile forever more."
And the bird sighed, "I want nothing more than for you to feel my joy, and I will stay beside you and I'll learn to tunnel and to dig so you will always know I love you so. But I will sing of the sun and sky."
Then the mole said, "If you sing, then the creatures I follow will know where I am and I cannot catch them. You must not sing, but I will comfort you forever more."
And the bird nodded and told the mole, "I know nothing but my love for you. I can't imagine my life without you. I will tunnel and dig and be silent, but this is how I want it because I will always be happy with you. You are my future and my life."

"And I will be what you ask of me forever more."

[Fire Wolf]

The page has been torn out.

[Fire Wolf]

There was a child who lived in a village.
Each day, some of the other children would lash out at him and call him names, but he would give them cakes and smiles in return and say, "It's alright."

This happened again and again, and some of the other children noticed and said to him, "Why don't you hit them? Stop giving them cakes!" But he just shook his head.

Each day it continued and the mean children called him names, but he gave them cakes and smiles and said, "It's alright."

One day, one of the children came to him and asked, "Why do you keep being nice to them? They're so mean! And why would you say it's alright to call you names?"

Then the boy replied, "I'm nice and give them cakes because they're sad and scared. Those children have bad parents that hit them and call them names and take their things away. Mine used to hurt me too, before they took me away. I'm not saying it's alright to be mean. I want them to know it's alright because they're not alone, and some day they'll be safe too."

[Fire Wolf]

I can't fix this

[Fire Wolf]

A man had a bird that he kept in a cage. The bird sang, "Tweet tweet tweet."
The man was pleased and smiled and laughed and said, "You are so sweet!"

The bird chirped day by day as the man returned from where he'd been.
But soon he snapped, "Shut up! Shut up! Don't ever sing again!"

As time went on the man said, "Bird, please whistle now for me!"
And so the bird did whistle as the man cheered on with glee.

It whistled every day to greet the man as he came home.
Until he snapped, "Shut up! Shut up! Just leave me well alone!"

Eventually the man grew bored, but he knew what to do.
Each day he tried to teach the bird to chirp out "I love you."

Eventually the bird caught on and said this every eve.
But the man cried, "Shut up! Shut up! You make me want to leave!"

One night the man returned to scowl upon the shiny cage.
He tapped the side and hissed some curses to the bird in rage.

The bird looked up and raised its wings and with a mighty scream,
"SHUT UP! SHUT UP!" it squawked to him and soon no more was seen.

[Fire Wolf]

How do you find the truth?

The world is full of confusion. People don't say what they mean, or forget, or refuse to make it clear.
Sometimes people form conclusions and fight each other over them.
Sometimes no one wants to let go long enough to let conflict end itself.

Sometimes I'm told one thing, then another. Sometimes it's terrible, maybe it's scary, it could be something that makes me want to fight back.
Sometimes I try to defend people.
Or stop them.
I make it my business and take sides without asking enough questions.

Sometimes I think I understand people.
I think that.
The problem is I shouldn't.

Maybe he was right. The only way to help people is to let go and not cling so much.
Some things can be fixed and some can't. I hope for an easy answer and get consumed.
People will do what they do and I can't control it.
Nature will come back and find a way eventually, even though it's my job to protect it and save it.

Just let go and act with love.

That's the only way to help.

I can't keep making a fool of myself.

[Fire Wolf]

The page has been ripped out.

[Fire Wolf]

This page has also been ripped out.

[Fire Wolf]

Peace can only come from within and cannot be taught or imposed. Seek stillness and thereby find peace. Plant trees and green-leafed things and tend such things when they need it, wherever they may be. Nurture and aid, and do not to restrict or punish. Work violence only to defend, and slay no thing of the forest except to prevent it from slaying themselves or another under their protection. Swear to take no thinking life except in direst need. Share with all beings the beneficial things that grow in or come from running water that all may know of and praise Eldath.

I've found it easy to lose hope, or to be blinded by fear or anger. If anyone ever sees what I wrote above, it's pretty obvious how my feelings overwhelm me.

But now I'm hopeful. Now I know I'll find peace. I will continue to care for living things. I'll learn self control. I'll bring peace to others.
I have promised, and she has told me I will learn.
I feel accepted, I feel hope, I feel assured. The pain is gone.

This is what I vow:
To care for living things, to seek wisdom in my actions, to learn to find peace instead of chaos, to spread gentleness, to learn self control.
I wish to never bring harm to any innocent thing again. I will give life and share the beauty of living things.

Praise to you, Eldath. Thank you. Thank you more than anything.

[Fire Wolf]

Sometimes I wish I could take back the things that hurt me as much as they helped others. Maybe I'd be stronger, and everything else would stay the same.

I'll persevere.

[Fire Wolf]

"I'm not a butterfly."
A wiggly worm eating leaves, with many small feet stomping over the trees.
Colorful, different, squishy and strange.
"But I'm not a butterfly."
Not a cat, puppy, bird, or fish. Please do not eat me! This is my wish.
Wriggling, helpless, tiny, alone.
"But I'm not a butterfly."
The plants I crunch, but I mean no harm. I'm desperately hungry! Don't feel alarm.
Selfish, useless, ugly, a pest.
"But I'm not a butterfly."
The time has come to hide away. Am I wrapped up forever, to the end of my days?
Boring, unneeded, forgotten, away.
"But I'm not a butterfly."
Emerging anew, stretching wings, soon to lift on the breeze away from old things.
Beautiful, lovely, wanted, and loved.
"But I am NOT your butterfly."

[Fire Wolf]

I'm learning a lot from Ashenie's papers.
I'm finding out about things I wish I didn't know, but I need to know to help people.
About how families are torn apart by addiction.
About the children.
I want to save all of them from these horrible evil things being done to them, and from the monsters causing it.
I feel renewed purpose to help the investigation, and make medicines for the people.
I want to make it all stop, and give people hope, and make the children happy again.
And their parents.
I want to be a good healer.
I'm happy that I can do something for them.
And I feel sad.
The papers make me feel very sad.
The reality of it all is sad.
Maybe that's why she's such a quiet person.