Mi-Le: Reflections on the Way ((IC in BG and CK))

[Arn]

Flamerule 21, 1358 DR – at Vale Estate

The chaos and death among the gods had sparked a lengthy conversation between Avintae, Teris, and Mi-Le about the nature of impermanence and attachments. Mi-Le believed that in such an unstable world, cultivation of the mind was the most sensible approach.

"The liberated mind is a most precious thing. But you needn't wonder what it's like. What's most important is the practice of freeing it. These recent events, as horrible and painful as they are, present a most unique opportunity to show others the Way," Mi-Le mused. "I think I must take advantage of them."

“...Can I be honest...?” Teris ventured.

"I would insist on it."

“...I don't really think it's.. um... appropriate... to use these events to tell people to change... I think compassion and understanding would be better...” Teris said hesitantly.

Mi-Le knew the truth of the genasi’s words almost as soon as they were spoken. "...Yes, I think you're right." The monk closed his eyes and exhaled slowly, noticing the mental undercurrent pulling toward this particular desire. As he watched it, it subsided. He would not walk about proselytizing, then. But he could at least write about it. Then, those who were searching could find the teachings of his monastery.

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All That Is Mine

At my monastery, I was taught to reflect, “All that is mine, beloved and pleasing, will become otherwise, will become separated from me.” And it’s so common to misinterpret this as some pessimistic doctrine of apathy and nihilism. But it’s just a statement of reality. It’s not saying that we shouldn’t care about people, or that there’s no happiness in the world. It’s pointing out that chasing after what we like and prefer doesn’t lead to lasting happiness. Grasping at what’s impermanent will leave us empty-handed, sooner or later.

Part of the problem is that we don’t really take the time to think about how impermanent everything really is. But impermanence has been staring us in the eyes all along, and recently it’s even been slapping us in the face. Recently I heard that the gods Bane and Bhaal died. How many gods does that make it now? The Old Order’s ancient nameless god, Mystra twice, Bane, and Bhaal. It seems to me that the gods have proven no more permanent and reliable than anything else in the world. If even the gods, whom so many take to be everlasting and secure, are in fact so impermanent, what can we really rely on for happiness?

Searching outward for happiness eventually leads to a dead end. True happiness cannot be realized as long as we’re chasing after something else. Only by turning inward can we realize true happiness. By letting go, turning inward, and settling into stillness, we can experience the Chán states, which transcend all other conditioned worldly happiness. But even the Chán states themselves are conditioned and impermanent. Through them, though, one can realize the unconditioned Way. One can become truly happy.

((Highlighted text adapted from Aṅguttara Nikāya 5:57.))

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Eleasis 13, 1358 DR – East of the Chionthar River

Truth be told, Teris the fire genasi had long interested Mi-Le. They’d first met years ago, when Teris had not seemed very lucid. Then, when Teris had come into a more conventional frame of mind, he appeared to share many of Mi-Le’s values. So when Teris invited Mi-Le for a walk, the monk was happy to accept. Their walk had taken them to a clearing in the woods east of the Chionthar River.

"Not too long ago, I felt like I should show people the impermanent nature of the gods. I was quite eager to do so.” Mi-Le referred to their discussion at Vale Estate. “Your advice was apt then." The two continued to discuss many things.

Eventually, Teris asked, “Do... people ever lie to you...?”

"I suspect they do."

“Do you ever.. feel that... it's... harder to keep a hold on reality... when you never know who's being fake and who isn't...?”

"No. Unless the discussion is about the Way, I don't put much importance on it. And if it is about the Way, then in the end, we must rely on ourselves anyways."

“That sounds very lonely...”

"Mm. Self-sufficient. There's a difference between solitude and lonely." Mi-Le shrugged. "I suppose my sense of reality doesn't depend on the words of others, but on the nature of reality itself."

“I wish that was the same for me... I really wish it.”

Mi-Le gestured to the wilderness surrounding them. "You can ground your understanding of reality on this. The words of others are so fleeting."

Teris pulled a cranberry scone from his pocket and began to nibble at it. Baking was one of the druid’s hobbies, and Mi-Le knew he was good at it. The monk lapsed into silence, waiting for Teris to finish eating or continue the conversation whenever he was ready.

“I feel kind of conflicted... about the way your ... uh... Way.. works. How does anyone who follows it truly enjoy each other's company... or the things around them..? How can they fully embrace life...?”

"We simply think there's more to life than even those things, enjoyable though they might be. We believe that one cannot fully embrace life while remaining ignorant to the nature of its reality."

“But that's my point, though... Why can't you accept reality.. while enjoying what it offers?”

"When you truly see the nature of reality, it's not that you feel nothing for others, or become a dispassionate zombie toward all things. It's just that the more you understand the impermanence of things, the less your happiness depends on those things staying just so, remaining in some perfect state forever for your enjoyment."

“That's not what I mean... It's more.. um... Sometimes I get the feeling you're not allowed to enjoy things outside of thinking about the Way only.”

"Oh. Well, there's actually a lot of truth to that. But you're not a monk in my order or monastery. And it's not as bad as all that, for me. I suspect I'm allowed to enjoy a lot of the things you do. But yes, the primary focus is the Way."

“It just.. seems very sad to me.. I feel sad that you don't get to try things and that it's hard to connect with you.”

"Mm. I know this will sound dramatic, but the happiness to be realized through the Way surpasses worldly happinesses," Mi-Le said, thinking of the Chán states, and beyond that, enlightenment.

“...Has it happened yet...? That happiness...?”

It was a tricky question for Mi-Le. The monks of his monastery were not supposed to speak about their own personal spiritual attainments, such as the Chán states or enlightenment, to laypeople. Mi-Le respected that rule, because it was meant to guard against pride and guru worship. "I do not speak through blind faith," Mi-Le said carefully. "There are stages of that happiness. I do not claim to be completely enlightened. But I can say with confidence that there is validity to the Way."

“...But have you felt that happiness?” Teris insisted.

Mi-Le considered whether a truthful answer would break his monastery’s rules. More importantly, he searched his own intentions. Would he be speaking out of ego, or an earnest wish to provide a helpful answer? After some consideration, he permitted himself to say, "Yes." Beyond that one word, he could elaborate on the Way without discussing his own spiritual attainments. "At the coarsest level, there is a state wherein all negative mind-states and hindrances vanish, and one feels rapture and bliss that transcends worldly happiness. This alone is worth following the Way. But it is not the culmination of the Way. And, frankly, it is a mind-state that can be realized through the practices of other religions too."

“Which ones..?

"Oh, take your pick. Eldath, Sune, Ilmater, Lathander all come to mind."

“...Sune...?”

"My understanding of Sune's teachings is that of true love. Not romantic attachment. Insofar as Sune teaches true loving kindness, I respect her doctrine."

“Oh... well.. um… I've seen.. assorted things, in practice.”

"Yes. So I'm aware. But there are beneficial teachings within Her religion. And the practices of loving kindness can lead to the mental state I speak of."

“I know.. I think that's what makes me disappointed. There's so much good in it, then they throw in one part that destroys the whole point...”

"That's it exactly, Teris. That is the reason why my order practices as it does. You ask why we forego certain things, and that is why. We focus instead on what is pure. In any case, the mental state I speak of is known in my monastery as the first Chán. It is the first of four, and the four Cháns are not enlightenment, but are important to its realization."

“I feel like it's impossible for me to figure out how to do any of that... How do you learn how it works...?”

"The good news is that you don't have to practice Chán by trying to reach Chán. In fact, some would say it's counterproductive. In breath meditation, for example, the object is the breath, not Chán. In loving kindness meditation, the object is loving kindness, not Chán. It's kind of like sleeping: sleeping isn't something you consciously choose to do, it's something that kind of happens to you, when the conditions are right." Mi-Le considered his next words. "Teris, I don't think you need to worry about who you should be or anything like that. You're already what you should be. You're kind. And loving kindness is absolutely essential to Chán."

“Oh.. well... I try to be, anyway...”

"That's all you need to try to be, then. And maybe throw in some breath meditation too, while you're at it."

“Would it help me feel less anxious and not panic as much...?”

"Mm. It tends to. There are many different kinds of meditation. Breath meditation isn't what I naturally incline towards, but it's a good practice."

“I don't really know how to do meditation stuff...”

"Nothing to it, really. Sit up straight, eyes closed. Rest your hands comfortably. Be aware of the breath as you breathe in, and be aware of the breath as you breathe out. Don't control the breath. Just let it flow naturally, however it's flowing. If a distraction comes up, whether internal or external, acknowledge it. Don't fight it, don't follow it. Just acknowledge it, then go back to the breath. That's about it."

“Is there a way to make it easier to not get distracted..?”

"Yes. Meditate in solitude, in a quiet place. A quiet grove is perfect."

“What if.. I kind of... have trouble with getting lost.. uh.. mentally..?”

"That'll happen. Don't judge yourself for it. Just acknowledge it, without berating yourself or anything. And go back to the breath. Think about it this way: this whole time we've been talking, you've been breathing. You just haven't been paying attention to it. Well, with this practice, you're just paying attention to it."

“...Alright. I think I'd like to try it next time I'm off at the special place...”

"I hope you have fun with it, Teris. It can be an enjoyable and relaxing thing."

[Arn]

In Dependence on Chán

• “Monks, I say that the destruction of the taints occurs in dependence on the first Chán. I say that the destruction of the taints also occurs in dependence on the second Chán. I say that the destruction of the taints also occurs in dependence on the third Chán. I say that the destruction of the taints also occurs in dependence on the fourth Chán. I say that the destruction of the taints also occurs in dependence on the base of the infinity of space. I say that the destruction of the taints also occurs in dependence on the base of the infinity of consciousness. I say that the destruction of the taints also occurs in dependence on the base of nothingness. I say that the destruction of the taints also occurs in dependence on the base of neither-perception-nor-non-perception. I say that the destruction of the taints also occurs in dependence on the cessation of perception and feeling.
  
  “When it was said: ‘Monks, I say that the destruction of the taints occurs in dependence on the first Chán,’ for what reason was this said? Here, secluded from sensual pleasures, secluded from unwholesome states, a monk enters and dwells in the first Chán …. He considers whatever phenomena exist there pertaining to form, feeling, perception, volitional activities, and consciousness as impermanent, suffering, an illness, a boil, a dart, misery, affliction, alien, disintegrating, empty, and non-self. He turns his mind away from those phenomena and directs it to the deathless element thus: ‘This is peaceful, this is sublime, that is, the stilling of all activities, the relinquishing of all acquisitions, the destruction of craving, dispassion, cessation, enlightenment.’ If he is firm in this, he attains the destruction of the taints. But if he does not attain the destruction of the taints because of that lust for the Way, because of that delight in the Way, then, with the utter destruction of the five lower fetters, he becomes one of spontaneous birth, due to attain enlightenment there without ever returning from that world....”
  
  “When it was said: ‘Monks, I say that the destruction of the taints occurs in dependence on the second Chán,’ for what reason was this said? Here, with the subsiding of thought and examination, a monk enters and dwells in the second Chán....”

Similarly with the other levels of Chán up through the base of nothingness.

((Adapted from Aṅguttara Nikāya 9.36.))

[Arn]

Corrupt Monks

In my travels, I've come across many different monastic orders and communities. Some were inspirational. Many were not. Some even made me wonder whether enlightenment is possible. I think my teacher must have had such encounters too, given some of his words:

• "So too, when evil monks are strong, well-behaved monks are weak. At that time the well-behaved monks sit silently in the midst of the monastic community or they resort to the outlying provinces. This is for the harm of many people, for the unhappiness of many people, for the ruin, harm, and suffering of many people, of devas and human beings.
  ...
  "So too, when well-behaved monks are strong, evil monks are weak. At that time the evil monks sit silently in the midst of the monastic community or they depart for other regions. This is for the welfare of many people, for the happiness of many people, for the good, welfare, and happiness of many people, of devas and human beings."
  
  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  
  "If you don't gain a mature companion,
  a fellow traveler, right-living & wise,
  wander alone
  like a king renouncing his kingdom,
  like the elephant in the wilds,
  his herd.
  
  "We praise companionship
  — yes!
  Those on a par, or better,
  should be chosen as friends.
  If they're not to be found,
  living faultlessly,
  wander alone
  like a rhinoceros."

((Adapted from Aṅguttara Nikāya 2.39 and Suttanipāta 1.3, respectively.))

[Arn]

Patience in the Practice

To gain insight into a state of concentration, you have to stick with it for a long time. If you push impatiently from one level of concentration to the next, or if you try to analyze a new state of concentration too quickly after you've attained it, you never give it the chance to show its full potential and you don't give yourself the chance to familiarize yourself with it. So you have to keep working at it as a skill, something you can tap into in all situations. This enables you to see it from a variety of perspectives and to test it over time, to see if it really is as totally blissful, empty, and effortless as it may have seemed on first sight.

((Adapted from "Jhana Not by the Numbers" by Thanissaro.))

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Alturiak 20, 1352 DR – At the shrine of Eldath

Mi-Le had received his teacher's summons to return to the monastery in Shou Lung. The summons had been brought by a young monk named Tara, and her journey had no doubt been a long one. The two monks had never met before; Mi-Le had left the monastery a year before Tara was born, and she had joined the monastery when she was nine. However, from their ongoing conversation, it was obvious to Mi-Le that Tara had a deep understanding and appreciation of the Way.

"You mentioned that the first Chan is simply the absence of the five hindrances," Mi-Le said. "This matches my understanding of our teacher's words. Although other monks have said the first Chan also entails concentration, unification or one-pointedness of mind, I don't think our teacher mentioned these factors when he spoke of the first Chan. It's only in the second Chan that he mentioned concentration, one-pointedness of mind, the subsiding of thought. What do you think?"

Tara nodded thoughtfully. "Personally, I think there's thought in each of the four Chans, depending on how you define thought. I mean, there's always mental activity going on, right?" Mi-Le recalled experiences in which all conceptual thought had been absent from his mind, but he chose not to speak about those at the moment, wanting to hear Tara's words. "Actually, with experience, the first Chan doesn't really feel all that remarkable or different from normal thought. Eventually you can shift into it kind of easily."

"I found that to be the case, as well!" Mi-Le smiled. "At first the first Chan seemed very dramatic and earth-shattering, but over time it stopped being such a big deal. Of course, you notice the stark difference between, say, an angry mental state and the first Chan. But eventually, there's not much difference between the first Chan and your default resting mental state." Perhaps it was because, with practice, one's default mental state became more still and tranquil. "Do you remember the metaphor of the ball of soap powder suffused with moisture? In the first Chan, the meditator likewise 'suffuses his body with the rapture and happiness born of seclusion'?" Tara nodded. "I've noticed when the mind is at rest and the hindrances are gone, the body relaxes and a tingling warmth spreads up my back and through my body. What are your thoughts?"

Tara nodded and smiled brightly. "Yeah! I have the same experience, or something similar. You can enter the first Chan by searching out the hindrances and relaxing them. But it's good to develop other methods of entering Chan, like breath meditation. You can use the pleasant tingling warm sensation as a meditation object, but I don't know if that'll always be reliable."

"Oh, I don't use the pleasant warmth as a meditation object. That just happens. And in truth, I don't often use breath as a meditation object these days, either. I just watch for the hindrances and relax them, and the mind stills."

"That's the insight method, and I think it's valid. I've also noticed a kind of forward momentum in my mind, and I try to relax that too."

"Oh yes. I do that when I search for the hindrances. I look for the underlying mental 'pull'. When I find it and watch it, it usually subsides."

"Yeah, I think when that happens, it's the second Chan. I have the same experience you’re describing: let the mind rest and rapture and pleasure come. I think when it happens in formal meditation and you’ve checked the hindrances, there's a good chance you’re going into the second Chan. It’ll start feeling like the joy can't be contained by the body. For me I feel it rise through my spine, then it's gone, then it comes back again. It might be somewhat different for everyone." Tara paused briefly as a thought occurred to her. "Just try to observe and not expect or 'wait' for anything - I made that mistake!" She laughed. "When a person gets experienced with Chan, you can spot the hindrances like colors and enter as you wish."

"I spot hindrances like mental pressure or ripples." The two smiled at each other. "I'm glad I can talk to you about this, Tara." Mi-Le wasn't supposed to speak about his own personal spiritual attainments with laypeople, but he could do so freely with another monk. He decided to speak further. "I've had experiences where I felt like I was entering a supremely tranquil state where there was absolutely no conceptual thought. What do you think that was?"

Tara hummed thoughtfully. "It depends, and people have different ideas about what a thought is. Any other things you can describe about it?"

"It's just surpassingly still. No mental ripples, no verbal thought, no mental concepts except the perception of mental stillness." Mi-Le shrugged.

"Any pleasant or unpleasant feelings?" Tara asked.

"Not that I recall."

"If the hindrances were also gone, it could be the fourth Chan. It’s the quietest and at that stage there’s only neutral feeling. The fourth Chan tends to be unstable when people first experience it though, because it’s not comfortable like the other Chans. To be honest, I don't practice the fourth Chan much. It's kind of a weird one because of the effect it has on you in daily life."

"Like things become less important?" Mi-Le laughed.

"Your expression gets all impassive, and everything and everyone seems silly and stupid." Tara's laughter rang like crystalline chimes through the forest clearing. "The perception of mental stillness might be one-pointedness, since in the fourth Chan that's what remains. I'm not sure."

"What did you mean by the fourth Chan not being comfortable?" Mi-Le asked. "It felt very still."

"Oh, I meant that people tend to get thrown off by the neutral feeling and lack of pleasure. The third Chan sometimes feels very similar in stillness, at least to me. So sometimes people confuse the two."

"I might get thrown off by an intrusive thought; then the Chan will instantly end."

"I don't know... I think you can absolutely have thoughts in Chan. They might be less, or sometimes it seems like there's no thought, but you're not aiming to be a dead plant. I think the only issue is when thought is tied to the hindrances. But I don't know, I'm not a master." Tara laughed.

"All I can say is, I don't remember any thought in that state. But when I got an excited thought about how 'deep' I was, I got knocked out of that supreme stillness."

"Hah! I think that happens to everyone whenever we have a new experience." Tara looked at Mi-Le, smiling. "By the way, I'm kind of in awe of how you've been practicing all this time without a teacher. I've had so much confusion and questions throughout the years, I can't imagine not having had a teacher answer my questions and direct me. The doubt hindrance would be so hard."

"It has been hard," Mi-Le admitted with a wistful smile. "I feel like I've taken the long way."

He realized it was past time to return to his master.

((Adapted from a dialogue between two spiritual friends.))

[Arn]

Tarsakh 1352 - At the Monastery of the Fearless Mountain in the Arakin province of Shou Lung

Whereas Mi-Le had traveled for decades through Shou Lung and Faerun, Brother Ren had spent that time practicing at their monastery. Mi-Le was truly grateful to meet Brother Ren again after so many years and speak with him about the Way. Their discussion, however, was challenging certain understandings that Mi-Le held about his own practice.

"Watching the hindrances should be something you do if they arise and strongly distract you from the breath. The hindrances can be a secondary object, but the breath is the primary object," Brother Ren said. "Spend only a minute watching the hindrances until they disappear. Any longer than that, and there's a problem. At that point, you should just get up and walk."

"I've heard it said that the first Chan is simply the absence of the five hindrances. You think this is overly simplistic?"

Brother Ren nodded with a slight smile. "Overly simplistic."

"So there's more to the first Chan than the mere absence of the hindrances?"

"Yes."

"I've heard it said that the first Chan has unity of mind and is absent of conceptual thought. What do you think?"

"I agree."

"So the warm tingling sensation up the back, what is that?"

"That's joy and happiness."

"Didn't our teacher mostly discuss that in the context of the first Chan?"

"It can be present before the Chan states."

"And when one sees the hindrances vanish, and the happiness swells up? What is that?"

"That's mental stillness [dìng/定]."

"But there's still thought, thinking, when that happens."

At this, Brother Ren paused and looked at Mi-Le. "There's mental stillness before the Chan states too. There are varying depths of stillness."

"And when my mind stilled so much for a moment that there was no conceptual thought?"

"You had momentary stillness." Mi-Le understood "stillness" in this context to mean deep stillness, and that Brother Ren thought only this deep stillness could be considered a Chan state...

((Adapted from a discussion with a monk trained in the study of the Abhidhamma.))

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A Thicket of Views

Chan is a complex and slippery issue to talk about sometimes. So many very revered monks and lay practitioners who are well-practiced and well-versed in the Way have widely divergent views about Chan... What it is, how to "get" there, how important it is, its place in relation to insight, liberation, etc. It's a jungle... as my teacher might have said in relation to all of the opinions: "a thicket of views, a wilderness of views..."

What you experience may or may not "officially" be Chan, and you could probably find many people to tell you one thing or another. What I offer is what many of my teachers have offered: it is best not to get into labelling these kind of meditative experiences. The clear classifications that some monks offer don't have to mean quite so much.

What makes sense to me is to really just hone in on working with the four foundations of mindfulness as a focus. The hindrances and mental qualities are suitable contemplations to use. Especially suitable are contemplations that bring you back into the body, including mindfulness of breath. But perhaps mindfulness of breath with a much more relaxed and broad focus than is often taught (many monks teach the narrowly-focused one-pointed attention to a very small area -- tip of the nose, abdomen, etc.) Whole body breathing and whole body presence -- what one monk refers to as the "somatic presence." That is, sensing the whole body within the framework of certain qualities such as groundedness, spaciousness, and the rhythmic quality of gentle in and out breathing. Very open, very broad, but not drifty or spacey. This is hard to describe in a brief entry.

Sometimes (often) it really helps to do some active contemplations, such as recollection of kindness, precepts, generosity, how someone else has helped you (gratitude), et cetera, as a way of softening the mind. Then the whole body breathing comes much more naturally.

When this style is fully developed, the attention can settle much more naturally on the breathing, rather than forcing one's attention onto the breathing, which just leads to tension usually. If the mind is happy and contented before turning attention to the breathing, then the breathing will just come and seek you out, rather than you having to hunt it down.

With that approach, given space and time, one can settle to and absorb into that very pleasant state of complete and undistracted bodily awareness. No labels, no definitions, no strain.

It doesn't generally do much good to try and "regain" a past experience you had... the desire for it just pushes the peaceful mind away to the background. Best to attend to gladdening the mind, tuning into the full body experience, and let breathing come to you gently, and then turn toward it with interest and curiosity... keeping it very simple.

Having said all of this, I encourage you to spend as much time doing sitting and walking meditation (without straining yourself or getting too intense) as you can fit into your daily life. And with a curious gentle attitude....you want to enjoy it!

((Adapted from advice given by a monk who deemphasizes the Commentarial tradition of Theravada Buddhism.))

[Arn]

Disenchantment

Píjuàn (疲倦) is a concept that is hard to explain to most people. I like to translate it as disenchantment, disillusion, or world weariness. In my mother language it's also expressed by yīn (陰), literally meaning negative, dark, or the opposite of light, and yànwù (厭惡), literally meaning disgust or hate. I prefer píjuàn (疲倦), which literally means tired; the words yīn (陰) and yànwù (厭惡) are too strong, in my opinion.

This disenchantment is an experience of being put off by or fed up with the phenomenal world, much like what happens when you suddenly see someone as they really are after being fooled by their charm for so long.

Píjuàn (疲倦) is not simply depression or despair from facing hardship or loss, but rather a deep disappointment that one has been deluded for so long. It arises from a deep insight into the true nature of life.

Even though we know that everything is impermanent on a conceptual level, this insight shakes the very fabric of our view of life, much like the realization that the love affair is really over.

• "Just as when boys or girls are playing with little sand castles: as long as they are not free from passion, desire, love, thirst, fever, & craving for those little sand castles, that's how long they have fun with those sand castles, enjoy them, treasure them, feel possessive of them. But when they become free from passion, desire, love, thirst, fever, & craving for those little sand castles, then they smash them, scatter them, demolish them with their hands or feet and make them unfit for play."

Although this might sound like awful doom and gloom, it's an aspect of letting go that leads to liberation and true happiness. Many people might prefer an interpretation of impermanence where they simply embrace and savor each fleeting present moment. But in the tradition of my monastery, truly understanding impermanence leads to disenchantment.

((Adapted from the works of Ajahn Thiradhammo. Highlighted text adapted from Saṃyutta Nikāya 23.2.))

[Arn]

Desire and Happiness

All phenomena, my teacher once said, are rooted in desire.

Everything we think, say, or do — every experience — comes from desire. Even we come from desire. Consciously or not, our desires keep redefining our sense of who we are. Desire is how we take our place in the causal matrix of space and time.

The only thing not rooted in desire is the realization of the Way because it’s the end of all conditioned phenomena and lies even beyond my teacher's use of the word “all.” But the path that takes you to the realization of the Way is rooted in desire — in skillful desires. The path to liberation pushes the limits of skillful desires to see how far they can go.

The notion of a skillful desire may sound strange, but a mature mind intuitively pursues the desires it sees as skillful and drops those it perceives as not.

Basic in everyone is the desire for happiness. Every other desire is a strategy for attaining that happiness.

You want coin, a sexual partner, or an experience of inner peace because you think it will make you happy.

Because these secondary desires are strategies, they follow a pattern. They spring from an inchoate feeling of lack and limitation; they employ your powers of perception to identify the cause of the limitation, and they use your powers of creative imagination to conceive a solution to it.

But despite their common pattern, desires are not monolithic. Each offers a different perception of what’s lacking in life, together with a different picture of what the solution should be.

A desire for a snack comes from a perception of physical hunger and proposes to solve it with a chocolate chip cookie. A desire to climb a mountain focuses on a different set of hungers — for accomplishment, exhilaration, self-mastery — and appeals to a different image of satisfaction.

Whatever the desire, if the solution actually leads to happiness, the desire is skillful. If it doesn’t, it’s not. However, what seems to be a skillful desire may lead only to a false or transitory happiness not worth the effort entailed.

So wisdom starts as a meta-desire: to learn how to recognize skillful and unskillful desires for what they actually are.

((Adapted from Desires: A Study Guide, by Ṭhānissaro.))

[Arn]

Tarsakh 29, 1360 - at the meditation hall in Baldur's Gate

"...if even the gods can die, what can we rely on to be permanent and stable? What can we rely on for our happiness?" Mi-Le asked Rhaeg rhetorically. The two had been speaking for quite some time now. "The recent time of troubles has only confirmed this, in my mind."

Rhaeg snorted, indicating a small distance between two fingers. "I was this close t'punchin' Deneir's avatar. I literally argued with a piking god.

"Exactly. For myself, I believe the avatar of Myrkul once appeared to me, in a dracolich's den." Mi-Le thought back to that day about five years ago. "He reminded me of my mortality. I reminded him of his. And look where we are now."

Rhaeg let out a satisfied-sounding grunt, at that. "Probably shouldn't come as any surprise what I think about th'Gods. I, well... I recognize that people can be inspired through them. And obviously, they're th'source of divine magic."

Mi-Le shrugged. "I don't disrespect them, to be clear. I merely do not wish to rely on anything impermanent for my true happiness."

"...Then --" Rhaeg tried to articulate his question.

"...Where should one seek true happiness?"

"Then -- Yeah. Somethin'.... Somethin' like that."

"Like I said, mind is the forerunner. It's where greed, kindness, cruelty, and compassion arise. It's where we experience suffering. I believe that an unshakeable deliverance of mind is possible. And, once that is achieved, not even the gods can make you suffer." Mi-Le thought about Rhaeg's manuscript, Common Cause. In it, the half-orc had insightfully observed that compassion was needed to keep social reform from regressing into the same old cycles of suffering. "At the very least, once compassion is firmly rooted in the mind, new hierarchies might not arise if structural change ever occurs."

"...I've been strugglin' t'come t'grips with acceptin' that I'm probably never goin' t'see that epiphany happen. Of that compassionate upheaval've What Is. Not in my lifetime. And it's made me feel all th'more urgent t'make it start."

"You'll probably never see the external change you've been struggling for." Mi-Le nodded in agreement. "It's not too late, however, to cultivate your own mind."

Rhaeg gave Mi-Le a characteristically deadpan stare. "...You know how much've an uphill battle that is with a bloodline like mine, I'm assumin'."

Mi-Le felt a light stirring of annoyance ripple through his mind, and watched it dissipate. "I'll tell you what you told the Commons: It's up to you. If you decide to only keep struggling to bring about the external structural change, then that is your choice. But if you decide to maybe also pursue internal cultivation, let me know."

Rhaeg blinked once at the retort given, his wordless expression practically saying, "You can't use my own words against me." But the old half-orc listened in sour silence.

"Rhaeg, I wrote an entire treatise about Eldathyn orcs." The idea that spiritual development and mental cultivation was inherently more difficult for certain races was a disservice to the Way and all who practiced it. Rhaeg not only discouraged himself, he diminished Mi-Le's own journey along the Way by implying the monk somehow had it easier on account of his blood. Mi-Le thought about all the times he had struggled with his own lust or rage, all the times he had come close to breaking his monastic vows during his decades of travel. "I don't care about uphill battles. It's an uphill battle for everyone." Mi-Le turned his mind away from himself and thought about Rhaeg. "Out of a city of humans and elves, you're the only one who wrote paragraph 4b here. Without even knowing it, you wrote about how we need compassion to prevent the same old cycle from happening again. So I don't believe that your blood is some impediment to mental cultivation. You're no more impeded than anyone else. I'd say you see more clearly, even."

Soon, it came time for Rhaeg to depart.

"...I guess it does mean a lot t'me that a Monastic found somethin' worthwhile in it. No offense meant."

Mi-Le shrugged. "What can I say? You recognize a certain cycle of suffering, you're trying to do something about it, and you even somewhat see the importance of compassion in that endeavor. To that extent, it's actually pretty in line with my monastery's teachings. More... engaged than we get, but still."

"And entirely by accident," Rhaeg remarked dully. The earlier passion in his tone was hidden away once again -- for its own safety, perhaps.

The monk smiled. "Nevertheless."

"Thanks for at least hearin' me out." Rhaeg stood up, somber. His expression looked mildly despondent, perhaps at the possibility that he didn't get as much enlightenment out of the conversation as Mi-Le did.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Getting Involved

Sometimes people who see the suffering around them try to effect change. They protest, form social movements, or try to improve how people are governed.

But we must recognize that, even if we succeed in our efforts to effect change, it will not result in some eternal utopia. Even if for some brief period an ideal state could be achieved, things will change or break down somewhere.

And yet this is not a reason to sit passively and do nothing.

The cultivation of kindness and compassion conditions action, as the intentions and qualities of the heart and mind inevitably color how one engages in the world. So the Divine Abodes advocate action in situations that require such intervention. This is an important aspect of these qualities.

The quality of compassion demands us to respond when faced with unskillful deeds. One should not let such acts go by without a response.

But such a response should be informed by wisdom, by an understanding of impermanence. We should know the shortcomings of the external world, and not get so caught up with things that we become frustrated, angry, or burned out. Ultimately, basing our happiness on having the world be a certain way must fail. At some point, we see that we must turn inward.

Someone asked my teacher why he doesn't pay attention to politics more, why he doesn't stay more informed about current events. He said, "I like to put my mind on things that have an end."

((A portion adapted from the works of Ajahn Pasanno))

[Arn]

Oneness

There are two words with "one" in the my teacher's descriptions of chan. One is yī jìng xìng (一境性), which can be translated as "one-pointedness of mind," as in oneness of preoccupation or singleness of preoccupation. This kind of oneness applies to all levels of chan. It means being focused on one thing, like the breath. You stay steadily focused on it, at the same time making it the one thing filling your range of awareness.

So you start out trying to do that. But in the beginning, there are two ones. There's the mind aware of the breath, evaluating the breath, commenting on the breath. That's one thing. And then there's the breath. One subject, one object, and you want to keep both of them "one" in their own ways. You want to make sure that the one topic of your inner conversation is the breath. As for other things that have been going on in the course of the day, you don't talk about them. Don't go slipping off into the past, slipping off into the future, wondering about what you're going to do tomorrow, what you're going to do at the end of the meditation, or how much longer you have to meditate here. That's introducing other topics of conversation. And the mind never really settles down.

So just keep the topic of conversation on one thing, on the breath, and evaluate how it's going. What kind of breath would you like to breathe right now? You're perfectly free to choose. You may not be able to think about other things right now, but they're off the agenda. They don't really matter right now. When the breath is the one item on the agenda, you can give it your full attention and you're totally free to explore it. What kind of breathing would really feel good right now in your stomach? Let the body breathe that way. Focus on your stomach for a while and see what kind of breathing really feels good there. What kind of breathing feels good going down your backbone? What kind of breathing feels good in your legs? You may not yet be able to breathe with your legs, but there is a breath energy that can flow down through the legs. See what rhythm of breathing keeps that breath energy alive, awake.

One of my teachers talks about using your awareness of the breath to wake up the different properties of your body. This is what he means: having a sense that there's an energy flowing through your legs, flowing through your arms, all around your head, all the different parts of your body, out to the fingers and toes, like an electric current. There is even an energy, if you're really sensitive, that surrounds your body. Can you be sensitive to that? And what kind of breathing makes those different parts of the body feel good? Go through the body and tell yourself that you're breathing specifically for your stomach for a while, so what kind of breathing would feel good right there? If the stomach could speak, what kind of breath would it ask for? Then breathe specifically for the sake of your chest: What kind of breathing would feel good in your chest? And so on through the rest of the body: in the shoulder, in the back of your shoulders, between your shoulder blades, in the small of your back, in your hips, in your legs, in your toes, in your eyes. Then try to be aware of the breath in the whole body. This is how the breath, the object of your conversation, becomes one: It fills the range of your awareness. Think of the whole body breathing in, breathing out, and let the whole-body breath flow as comfortably as you can.

Then, after a while, when you've been evaluating the breath, and it really feels good as you're breathing in, breathing out, there comes a point where you don't have to evaluate it any more. As my teacher once said, as you fill up the breath energy in the body it's like filling up water in a jar. There comes a point where the jar of water — here we're talking about big jars that they use to line up along the sides of houses in Shou Lung to catch rainwater off the roof, enormous jars, sometimes bigger than a person — after a while the jar is so full of water that no matter how much more water you pour into it, it can't hold any more. The excess just flows out.

The same principle holds with the breath. You get to a point where the breath energy feels full throughout the body. The legs feel full, the arms feel full with a pleasant buzz of energy. They feel energized. Awake. And you don't need to do any more evaluation, for they're as full as they're going to get. You're now free to just dive into the breath.

This is where the other word for oneness in the descriptions of chan comes into play: yī zhì (一致), which can roughly be translated into Common as "focus." This refers to unification of mind. It starts at the second chan. The oneness of your awareness and the oneness of the breath become a single oneness, totally unified. You don't hold anything back....

((Adapted from "Oneness," by Thanissaro, where he describes the practical distinction between the Pali terms "ekaggata"and "ekodi."))

[Arn]

Conditions of Worldly Progress

My teacher made it quite clear that the standards by which a normal layperson should live life are very different than the standards by which a monastic should live life.

• "Four conditions conduce to a householder's weal and happiness in this very life. Which four?
  
  "The accomplishment of persistent effort, the accomplishment of watchfulness, good friendship, and balanced livelihood.
  
  "What is the accomplishment of persistent effort?
  
  "Herein, by whatsoever activity a householder earns his living, whether by farming, by trading, by rearing cattle, by archery, by service under the king, or by any other kind of craft — at that he becomes skillful and is not lazy. He is endowed with the power of discernment as to the proper ways and means; he is able to carry out and allocate duties. This is called the accomplishment of persistent effort.
  
  "What is the accomplishment of watchfulness?
  
  "Herein, whatsoever wealth a householder is in possession of, obtained by dint of effort, collected by strength of arm, by the sweat of his brow, justly acquired by right means — such he husbands well by guarding and watching so that kings would not seize it, thieves would not steal it, fire would not burn it, water would not carry it away, nor ill-disposed heirs remove it. This is the accomplishment of watchfulness.
  
  "What is good friendship?
  
  "Herein, in whatsoever village or market town a householder dwells, he associates, converses, engages in discussions with householders or householders' sons, whether young and highly cultured or old and highly cultured, full of faith, full of virtue, full of charity, full of wisdom. He acts in accordance with the faith of the faithful, with the virtue of the virtuous, with the charity of the charitable, with the wisdom of the wise. This is called good friendship.
  
  "What is balanced livelihood?
  
  "Herein, a householder knowing his income and expenses leads a balanced life, neither extravagant nor miserly, knowing that thus his income will stand in excess of his expenses, but not his expenses in excess of his income.
  
  "Just as the goldsmith, or an apprentice of his, knows, on holding up a balance, that by so much it has dipped down, by so much it has tilted up; even so a householder, knowing his income and expenses leads a balanced life, neither extravagant nor miserly, knowing that thus his income will stand in excess of his expenses, but not his expenses in excess of his income.
  
  "If a householder with little income were to lead an extravagant life, there would be those who say — 'This person enjoys his property like one who eats wood-apple.' If a householder with a large income were to lead a wretched life, there would be those who say — 'This person will die like a starveling.'
  
  "The wealth thus amassed has four sources of destruction:
  
  "(i) Debauchery, (ii) drunkenness, (iii) gambling, (iv) friendship, companionship and intimacy with evil-doers.
  
  "Just as in the case of a great tank with four inlets and outlets, if a man should close the inlets and open the outlets and there should be no adequate rainfall, decrease of water is to be expected in that tank, and not an increase; even so there are four sources for the destruction of amassed wealth — debauchery, drunkenness, gambling, and friendship, companionship and intimacy with evil-doers.
  
  "There are four sources for the increase of amassed wealth: (i) abstinence from debauchery, (ii) abstinence from drunkenness, (iii) non-indulgence in gambling, (iv) friendship, companionship and intimacy with the good.
  
  "Just as in the case of a great tank with four inlets and four outlets, if a person were to open the inlets and close the outlets, and there should also be adequate rainfall, an increase in water is certainly to be expected in that tank and not a decrease, even so these four conditions are the sources of increase of amassed wealth.
  
  "These four conditions are conducive to a householder's weal and happiness in this very life."

Laypeople are not monks, and the monks of my order do not expect everyone else to live by monastic rules.

((Highlighted portion adapted from Anguttara Nikaya 8.54.))

[Arn]

Mental Fabrication as an Object of Meditation

One can scrutinize mental fabrications: What issues are your thoughts fabricating at the moment: past or future? Are your thoughts running in a good direction or bad? About issues outside the body and mind, or inside? Leading to peace of mind or to restlessness? Make yourself constantly alert, and once you’re aware of the act of mental fabrication, you’ll see that all thinking is inconstant, stressful, and not-self. Focus your thoughts down on the body and mind, and then let go of all aspects of thinking, fixing your attention on a single preoccupation.

This technique is meditating on the fourth of the five aggregates, the aggregate of mental fabrication (or mental formation). One can meditate on any of the five aggregates; for example, breath meditation is a form of meditation on the body (or form). These five techniques are simply for you to choose from. Whichever method seems most suited to you is the one you should take. There’s no need to practice them all.

Even though the five aggregates cover a wide variety of phenomena, they all come down to the body and mind. You have to keep your attention firmly established on the body so as to know its nature, and firmly established at the mind until you know your own mind thoroughly. If you don’t bring things together in this way, you won’t know the taste of concentration and discernment. Just like food: If you don’t bring it together to your mouth and stomach, you won’t know its taste or gain any nourishment from it at all.

Once you’ve gained concentration—no matter what the level—the important point is to be continually observant of your own mind. Be constantly mindful and continually alert. When you can maintain alertness on the level of momentary or threshold concentration and can keep track of these two levels so as to keep them going, they will gain strength and turn into fixed penetration, the level of concentration that’s resolute, strong, and endowed with clear discernment.


Rapture

There are energy channels throughout the body that can open and feel saturated with comfortable energy. So try to notice where in the body you have that sense of fullness right now. Protect that spot as you meditate. Don’t squeeze it. Don’t pull it. Think of it floating in mid-air right there. Some people feel this sense of potential fullness most easily in their hands. Other people feel it most easily in their chest. It really varies from person to person where you’re going to feel it first.

Once you notice that there’s an area that does feel relatively full of nice energy, think of it spreading out from that spot. This is something you can’t push or pull. You allow it to spread at its own rate. Tell yourself you’re in no hurry. You don’t have to anticipate how soon it’s going to happen, how long it’s going to take. It’s something that happens right on the cusp of the present moment. So if you’re leaning too much into the future, you’re not going to see it. If you’re leaning back into the past, you’re not going to see it. Try to think of yourself being balanced right here.

Now, developing this sense of fullness, this sense of wellbeing, requires that you pay very careful attention to the meditation object and that you be very meticulous in how you evaluate the meditation object. How is it feeling right now? If your object is the breath: when you breathe in, does the energy spread smoothly or does it feel like you’re pushing or pulling it too much? What we’re working on here is something that’s called xǐ (喜) in Shou. You can translate it as rapture; you can translate it as fullness; you can translate it as refreshment. The basic meaning is that it feels really good, really nourishing. My teacher listed it as one of the energizing factors of Awakening.

It’s also a kind of food. My teacher said that, when we meditate, we feed on rapture like the radiant gods. The problem with the word rapture is that sometimes it seems too intense for the way some people experience it. Some people feel it as a tingling through the body, their hair standing on end. For others, it’s gentler—a sense of balanced, full wellbeing. Some people feel it in waves coming over the body. And for some people it’s so intense that the body starts moving.

The intensity is not a measure of the intensity of your concentration. It’s more a measure of how starved of energy the body’s been feeling. If it’s been feeling really starved, the sense of rapture is going to be extremely intense. If the body hasn’t been starved, the rapture or refreshment will be more gentle. Sometimes you may want it to be intense but it’s not going to be intense, but that doesn’t matter. Be very patient with it. Again, if you start pushing it too much, it withers up. Have a strong sense of allowing the energy to be there and to radiate out. If it’s going to spread, it’s going to spread at its own rate. You just try to maintain your balance right there on the cusp of the present and it’ll do its own thing.

Realize that rapture is waiting here for you in the present moment. Just look very carefully and give it some space. In the beginning, it might not seem like much, but you’ve got to give it a chance. Don’t disparage little things, don’t disparage weak things—because they can grow. They can get stronger. Wherever in the body there’s a feeling of “okay,” allow it to stay okay. Protect it. Try to develop an attitude of hovering around these sensations in the body. Don’t push them or squeeze them too much. Give them their space. Just protect them so that nothing comes in and steps on them.

As for any questions the mind may have about how long this is going to take or how much longer we’re going to be sitting here, just drop them, drop them, drop them. Let them fall away. Try to find a sense of balance right here, because right here is where all the good things happen—and where all the important things happen as well. If you can nourish and protect this sense of fullness, then you begin to notice any movements of the mind that might disturb it. You see where the mind is hungry and how it often goes out to look for what’s basically junk food to assuage its hunger. Now, however, you realize you don’t have to do that, for you’ve got something really nice and nourishing right here. Why go out and look for trouble?

Greed, aversion, and delusion are all looking for trouble. They’re like strong attacks of hunger and they’re never really satisfied. When you act on these things, they may provide a little bit of fullness and a little bit of energy, but then it goes. It’s like food that’s bad for your health. But here’s something that you’ve been carrying around with you all the time: the potentials in the body. The body has all kinds of potentials that we rarely take advantage of because we don’t let the mind get quiet enough for them to show themselves. So give this potential—this potential for fullness, a sense of refreshment—some space; give it some time. You’ll find that it really can strengthen your practice and give you a source of energy that you can tap into whenever you need it at any time throughout the day. Whether you’re in formal meditation or not, these potentials are always there. When you can recognize them and learn how to allow them to grow, you’ll have a constant source of food, a constant source of energy that you can take with you wherever you go.

((First portion adapted from The Craft of the Heart, by Ajaan Lee. Second portion adapted from Meditations 6, by Thanissaro.))