Even so, on my way out of the door, I want to make some remarks that I think everyone in this community need to read. HDM Narshe made a similar post eight years ago (good gracious, how time flies), and much of that still rings true. It is well worth a read even today:
viewtopic.php?f=10&t=52825
Like Narshe in that thread, I will lock this one as this is also mostly rhetorical. "It's not a discussion, just me talking." as he said.
I'm going to stay on for a week or two to tie up loose ends and help out staff with stuff they might need from me before I leave. I probably have a lot more to say than what is already in this post, but I'll add that as I think through it the coming couple of weeks.
Harassers and other rule breakers
Through various backchannels we hear quite often about people being harassed, but don't want to report it. And so often they then leave the server, while their harassers remain. We lose great players (and all-around great people), while their bullies remain to move on to new victims. And we can't act on backchannel reports, because it usually involves a "Emma told me this, but she doesn't want to report it," and we have to respect people's privacy.
Why don't people report harassment? Fear of repercussion from the harasser, perhaps. A perception that no one will do anything about it anyways? Well, that perception is a self-fulfilling prophecy. A fear of being a burden is also something I suspect some feel.
But we need you to report, so that we can act on it. We take harassment very seriously and I can promise you we act on those reports.
The matter of reporting is also a problem with other rule breaking, be it PvP rule infractions, metagaming or godmoding. We hear sometimes people don't want to cause trouble by reporting, indeed some don't want to be the cause of someone else getting banned. But why? If people are breaking the rules and indeed making you want to log off or even quit entirely because of these rulebreakings, isn't it more fair that the rule breakers are banned, and you who respect the rules can continue to play?
I suppose some people still think the height of ethics is "snitches get stiches", or whatever the NWN2 community equivalent is. Personally I've had enough of losing great players while their victimisers get to continue to play largely because we don't get reports.
Favoritism
The server used to have a lot of accusations of favoritism directed at individual DMs, and in almost all of those cases, it was unwarranted and usually made by people with extensive offender registries.
Have we had corrupt DMs? Yes, absolutely. Over the thirteen years I've been on BGTSCC, we've had DMs who gave themselves illegal items. We've had DMs who abused their position to bully their playerside opponents. We've had DMs who gave themselves 100% RCR tokens. We've had DMs who joined the team as ADMs only to look behind the curtain, and then go on to leak information. And yes, we have had DMs who have been favouring their friends and guilds. But favouritism is from my experience the least common. And either way, our recruitment process has for the most part made sure we get corrupt DMs very rarely.
Instead, the result has been that great DMs with splendid records and no actual tangible complaints have been bullied off the team because some people start malicious rumours about them.
The current DM team is pretty solid, and deserve much better treatment than they often receive in private discords.
The setting
I have played on BGTSCC for the setting. It is an roleplay server set on the Sword Coast in the Forgotten Realms Dungeons and Dragons setting. This comes with expectations of what the universe looks like. How its natural laws work. What the world looks like based on its history up until the moment one (or several) of our characters begin to affect it.
That doesn't mean it can't be changed from that moment on, and diverge from where the lore goes canonically elsewhere. But for everyone to feel like they are in the same world, we must agree on the background of that world. But this becomes a problem when people attempt to force their own preferences that are demonstrably not part of the setting's natural laws on to everyone else.
Lets take the obvious case of alignments for example. Some people don't like the concept of alignments. And that's perfectly fine: We don't choose our preferences. But alignments are integral to the natural laws of the Forgotten Realms setting. Protection from Alignment is a spell that carries that exact name also in-character. Characters who cast that spell know what good, evil, law and chaos are. Indeed, we don't choose our preferences, but we choose the fantasy worlds we engage with. If your preference is the world of Game of Thrones, that's your preference. But here on BGTSCC, the established world is that of Forgotten Realms, and it is expected that if you choose to engage with it, you will adhere to its natural laws.
When people make characters, it becomes jarring very quickly if they try to portray archetypes that don't belong in the universe. I've used this example before to illustrate: Just because someone desperately wants to roleplay a Jedi from the Star Wars universe, doesn't mean we can allow it. It simply has no place on this server.
Motivation in staff
The things mentioned above and many others affect all of us on staff and our motivation for making this place fun and engaging for our community. And I can't speak for others on staff, but my own experience has become this: More and more often I read something about the community, whether it is on our forums or discord - public or private - that make me go: "Why do I even bother?". Some days it passes and I find myself reminded that this community can be great indeed. But over time, and with increased frequency, it becomes demotivating.
I'm usually not one who cares much what people think about me. I know that this is probably something many people say, and some might even argue that this is probably how everyone ought to feel. Why care about the opinions of idiots? Live your life and do what makes you happy! But we are a social species, we humans. And even I have my limits when it comes to the vitriol and lies people spread about me, and no doubt will continue to after I've retired.
The good stuff
Even as I decide to leave because my own experience has become net negative, I want to remind you all of the great things this server is and can be. Neverwinter Nights 2 (and of course the original [and now enhanced] Neverwinter Nights) provides a platform - a sandbox - that is all but unheard of in newer games. With builders, developers and graphical artists like those we have on BGTSCC, we have made this server into a far greater, deeper and more immersive experience than the vanilla games.
- Have you guys noticed you can walk across rooftops in Baldur's Gate? There's some great views from up there!
- Have you seen Kraak Helzak? It is a work of art!
- Have you ever played a cleric on BGTSCC and noticed how much more flavour you get out of your domains over the vanilla game?
- Do you know we have several spells created through roleplay by several characters and given mechanical representation in the game by our developers?
- What about all the appearances? Armours and clothes; helmet, hats, masks and circlets; gloves; weapons; I could go on! There are hundreds of custom appearances on the server.
Hours and hours of work by passionate staff, current and former.
The story of this server is rich and long. The amount of creative writing you can find on these forums (and some of it is absolutely stellar) is staggering. My good friend and former admin Valefort asked me not long ago whether he thought maybe the people at Larian had read some of BGTSCC's history, as while he now had started to play Baldur's Gate 3, he had found some storylines that seemed almost eerily similar to historical plots and events on BGTSCC. And as I told him, in my view it is entirely possible. I do at least believe someone at Larian knows about us. These are people passionate about role playing games - I find it even plausible someone writing for Larian have played on our server at some point. But perhaps that is just wishful thinking.
But I do think some of our great writers deserve recognition. Take a look in the character biography section and read some people's journals. There's some fantastic stuff there.
Despite the frustrations and stresses, I love this server and its community. I am passionate about it (and perhaps too passionate, which is why we are here today). It has been a genuine pleasure to roleplay with you, to write stories with you, to DM for you, and to in general get to know so many great people.
Lastly, none of this would be possible if Zanniej wasn't the patient, steady and consistent rock he is. He deserves so much praise, it is hard to begin to describe it.
The future
I will be blunt: I don't see myself staying on as a player. At least for now. Even without the responsibilities and stresses of being staff, there are multiple things that bother me as a player, and I've touched on some of those above to some degree. Perhaps those aren't great enough bothers to be a net negative player experience, but for now at least there is just too much baggage. Maybe I will return and play one day. But at the very least I need a break.
I will be leaving the discord, and I am unlikely to be reading the forums, for PMs or otherwise.
I have made several friends on BGTSCC and I hope and expect to remain in contact with them.
Above all, I want to leave you all with this: Try to be kinder to one another. We humans can get tribal, and cliques form rather naturally. And within cliques, we make echo chambers. Be conscious of this, for very often misunderstandings become animosities between people and our echo chambers only amplify those animosities. We're all guilty of engaging in this. People make mistakes and it is often extra difficult to admit it when put on the defensive. So instead of assuming the worst in our fellow players, take a step back and consider what is the most charitable reading of the situation. And even if that fails, try to talk with them respectfully, hear them out and clear the air.
There is a concept called Hanlon's Razor which says in its harsh form "don't attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity". But I think in this case we should apply a softer form: "Don't attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by ignorance". Sometimes people just need a bit of guidance and help.