Brief unsolicisited advice for the entire community

[Lambert]

Friends!

Don't gossip about each other. Don't criticize each other. If something needs saying do it in private (thanks Shyntra). Find a way to dialogue and treat each other with respect and care. Don't slander, publicly complain, or actively try to hurt people or undermine each other. Never return hostility with more hostility. Think about how what you are doing and how it will impact people and if it is the right way and time to do something. Don't close the door.

Instead, manifest gratitude.

I think all of us are trying to add something to the world in our own way, but we are also clumsy or imperfect, and a lot of us are projecting negativity onto other people and have an inability to bear with each other's imperfections and act like we are perfect (guilty of that myself on occasion). We all cause each other to suffer, even when we have the best of intentions. Bear with each other!

The couples therapy research shows that if you want to change your partner, don't critisize and condemn. Instead, when they do something right, compliment them and express vociferously how happy that made you. That is more likely to change behavior then criticism. Criticism is for those hard-core people who really want to change and be perfected. Most don't live in that space. Everyone here should be complimenting each other when deserved and honest on a daily basis. It doesn't have to be with words, but a kind act of service (Werebeagle is really good at that).

Never too late to go back and show gratitude. Don't be so perfectionistic. Don't take yourself so seriously. (hard lesson taking decades for me to learn).

Yeah, and pray for each other, the devil loves to divide. Have the server blessed by a priest, have an exorcism prayer written somehere on the forums - have it in latin if you think prayer will offend someone - stuff it in an archive where no one can finde it, have a blessed St. Benedits medal near your monitor. Have a religious community pray for this gaming community. Spiritual warfare is legit (Chad Ripperger Phd Psychologist and exorcist priest with a Phd in Theology - seeon YouTube).

Being a leader is tough. Working with people is tough. Not for everyone. Give each other the benefit of the doubt.

My father was a Harvard trained psychiatrist with over 40+ years of experience as a couples therapist who was very happily married. Most of this advice is his advice.

Thank you BG and community for years of gaming time. Sorry if I've offended some or annoyed others.

Wishing you all well,

Lam

PS: watch out for burnout. Take shifts and breaks.