Endelyon: Letters to Family

[Endelyon]

Elly would sit down on the pillows thrown on the floor, at the little table in her house, some parchment laid out and a small charcoal pencil in her left hand. She would take a long pull from her flask before beginning to slowly write a letter in simple, but neat, handwriting.

"Hello papa! Hello mother! Hello, Leah! I hope you are all doing well, and this letter reaches you soon. Me and Heather arrived in Baldur's Gate safely. I can't believe how different life is here, living in a city this big. Everything is a bit intimidating, and I was very uncomfortable my first few days here. On the fourth or fifth day though, through some serendipity, opportunity forced itself upon me and I met Miss Castillo at the Elfsong Tavern. She gave me a job, working for the Sword Coast Commercial Exchange. I'm in the trade business now, just like you, papa! It's a lot different from selling wine, though. Miss Castillo hasn't given me much responsibility yet, and he always seems distant when she speaks to me. I wonder if she doesn't regret hiring me on.. She probably thought me more competent than I actually am.

At any rate, the job pays well, and I am making enough coin to rent a reasonably sized house here in the city. My own house! I don't own it, of course, but it's the first place that's really felt like a home since I left Arres. A woman named Ginnie Bross is staying with me. She's one of the people I've met since coming here. Miss Castillo hired her on as well and decided to pair the two of us up.. We've become fast friends, and I have a feeling the two of us will work well together.

I've made other friends, too.. a man named Thomas.. Ivan and Julindra, a rather adorable couple.. an elven girl named Alli.. and another girl named Willow, who may be a bear in a woman costume.. a charming priest named Ameris, who seems like the last thing he needs is one more person competing for his time.. many others, as well. Not all the people here are so pleasant and interesting, though. I've seen lots of violence, and people who seem to revel in it. And no one seems able to trust anyone here. I'm sure everyone has their reasons, but getting people here to have a simple, every-day conversation can be like pulling teeth at times!

I wrote my first song, mother. I know you'd be so proud.. I'll play it for you, when I come home some day. I haven't played it for anyone yet! I want Heather to be the first to hear it, but me and her are fighting at the moment. We still butt heads at times, just like when we were young.. but I love her with all my heart. The older sister I never had, that I'm still not sure I wanted, but I wouldn't trade her for all the grapes in Tethyr. I've been painting, too, mama. I didn't think they were all that good, but Mr. Ameris seems to think I'm quite talented!

How is business, papa? Is Leah doing well? What about Heather's parents? I can't wait to hear from you. Give Leah a kiss from her big sister. I'll write again as soon as I can!


Love,
Endelyon

P.S. Send wine! You can't imagine how hard it is to find here!"

She looked down at the letter, reading it again to make sure she had everything just the way she wanted it. Seeming satisfied, it took Elly a few moments to realize that small drops of water had begun to stain the parchment. She rubbed her eyes, and stood up quietly with the letter in hand, opening one of the drawers of her dresser and folding it carefully in half before placing it inside, where it would stay.

Elly found her pillow once more, burying her face in it completely as the tears grew stronger and stronger, eventually sobbing herself to sleep.

[Endelyon]

After the feast and an unexpected trip to Doron Amar, Endelyon would finally head home. Her first urge was to collapse on the nearest pillow, but instead she took up a quill and began penning a letter.

"Hello papa! Hello mother! Hello sister! I hope you are all doing well, and this letter reaches you soon. I'm sorry it's been so long since my last letter, but things have been moving along for me just fine. I haven't heard from Heather in some time, but I imagine she is well, and studying her heart out. Give her family my regards.

I won a singing competition at a theater here in the city called the White Mask. I won with a song you inspired me to write, mother. I can't say I enjoy the stage as much as I do playing in taverns. It just feels more normal for me when my eyes are at the same level as the crowd's. I'm sure you can understand.

I'm still working for Miss Castillo, and I've made a lot of new friends. There was a feast last evening at Eldath's shrine in a place here in the north called the Reaching Woods. I helped put it together, and the turnout was just spectacular. Many got to see the shrine for the first time, and I think everyone had fun. I even met a priestess of the faith, a lovely woman named Gwen. Hopefully I'll get to speak with her more soon.

Conflict weighs heavy on the hearts of the people here, but I've been doing my best to remain neutral to the situation and spread a little joy with a song here and there. The way the locals all stand off against each other reminds me of the tension back home when the war first broke out.

I've started a painting I'll send with my next letter. A painting of the four of us. I've been practicing, and I think I'm starting to get halfway decent, but I want to make sure it looks just right before I send it home. The three of you keep safe until it arrives. Give Lee a hug and a kiss for me.

Love,
Endelyon

P.S. I found wine! Good wine!"

When she finished the letter, she would fold it carefully and place it inside her dresser with the one she had written almost two moons past. With that done, she would blow out her candles and seek the comfort of her bedroll.

[Endelyon]

Hidden: show

Endelyon would sit quietly near a small pond, east up the river Chionthar, her blue canvas tent shielding her from the rain as she stared out at the calm, peaceful waters, charcoal pencil held firmly in her left hand as she began to write a letter.

"Mama.. I have a lot I want to write about, but I don't know where to begin. Can you believe that your daughter is going to own her own bank? Well, it sounds unbelievable to me, at least. I wear a lot of hats, these days. I've gone into business with a man named Jon Arrington, producing something he calls a newspaper. It's a difficult concept to explain. If you can imagine the flyers the travelers brought south from Zazesspur.. it's a lot like that, but produced in such volume that everyone might have their own. That's still not a very apt description. Jon could explain it better, of course.. he's the true brains behind the whole thing. I know even less about journalism than I do about commerce, I'd wager.

Do you remember the ring I won from Heather, all those years ago? I gave it to a rather surly druid, who wanted it to propose to a woman named he loves named Juli. She's been kind to me since I first arrived.. she said yes, it seems, and I couldn't be happier for the two of them. I am going to sing at their wedding.. it really will be just like old times. The last time I spoke to Jules she made a big deal about how I had stepped out of Heather's shadow. I'm not sure that I agree with her, truth be told.

It has been quite some time since I've spoken to Heather, now, but her thoughts and feelings have still formed the shape of who I am. I miss her more than I can express in words, and I pray every day, hope in my heart, that our paths will cross again soon. Ginnie is doing well. I saw her recently, and she seems in good health. I've made another friend, too.. a star whose guidance I'm growing to rely on as much as I did Heather's. I don't know if she feels the same way or not, but I feel like she might be the first person outside of Arres that opened up to me in the same way I have to her.

I have had a chance to speak with Gwen, the priestess I wrote to you about in my last letter. She opened my eyes to the realization that peace starts inside a person's heart, and that if I cannot find peace within my own heart I will never stand a chance of teaching the concept to other people. I have spent a long time in thought on her conversation in the short time since. Hopefully it will not be the last time the two of us speak.

Me and Miss Castillo were surveying a few possible locations for our bank, and I said something to her that rings true for my life as a whole, anymore.. there are times when I feel like I'm just making this all up as I go along. I made a rather terrible mistake today.. I cannot help but feel racked by a sense of guilt, despite Jon's reassurances that I made the right choice. How can I ever hope to be a source of strength for others if I can't even take care of myself?

On the subject of Miss Castillo, she offered me today what felt like honest praise.. Not to say that the woman has been stingy with such compliments, but for the first time since I started working for her, I felt like I've become a useful asset to her. Ivan does not trust Cheryl, for reasons I've yet to hear the druid expand on, but there are few that he trusts. Myself included. It makes our relationship difficult, at times.. especially when he seems to need some information from me, but doesn't want to let me in the loop as to why. Still, I owe him much, now.. perhaps almost as much as I owe Heather.

I've made two visits to the city of coin, recently, and it reminds me better than Baldur's Gate how far I've really come, and what a vast world we really live in. The streets are filled with strange sights, strange creatures, and even stranger customs. I'm not sure how happy you'd be to hear me say "Good business" as easily as if I was born in Amn and truly belonged there.. It is something I try not to think much about, in truth. It is a role I've been selected to play, and like any role I was given I'm going to perform it to the best of my gods given ability.

You're going to have to wait a little longer for the painting I promised you, I'm afraid. I haven't had time to get it just right.. Give Lee a hug and a kiss for me, and make sure papa knows I send love as well. I miss you all so much. Our time apart has left a hole in my heart that I still struggle daily to find a way to fill, and the more time that passes the more futile that struggle seems to become. Here I am, offering you sad words when I have so much that should bring me joy. I'll write you again soon, to let you know how everything goes with the bank's opening.

Love,
Endelyon

When she finished the letter, she would close her eyes and pray quietly for an hour or two to come, finally packing up her tent and her supplies, and making her way to her quiet abode within the Gate's East district. She would fold the letter carefully, adding it to her dresser with the others like it.

[Endelyon]

Endelyon sat down quietly at the table in her small house, parchment laid out in ready as she began to pen a letter. Her expression was collected and determined, her lips even teasing at a slight smile. She really did feel.. happy. Almost weightless, even.

"It has been five months since my last letter. I'm sorry I haven't written, but things have been so busy. It's been very hard to keep up with it all, but I am not as helpless or lost as I was when I first left Arres -- quite the opposite, in fact. I feel confident. Composed. In control of my destiny, for the first time in along time, and it feels better than I can express in words.

It has not quite been a year since I arrived in Baldur's Gate, but more has changed than you can possibly imagine..

The Commercial Exchange, the company I've been working for since I first came, opened the doors to its retail banking operation a few days ago. It's by the East Gate proper, just far enough up the road to feel quaint while still being close to the foot traffic coming in and going out of the city. Cheryl and I chose the building together, and much to our delight, we were able to purchase it and renovate it to fit our needs. It's a strange feeling, owning such a large building. When I left Arres I'd never even so much as owned a horse, and now I own an entire building. I look at the walls, the pillars, and I think, "this is mine. I helped make this a reality." It's very surreal, in a certain way.

Things grew desperate in the city for a while near the beginning of the year. Some kind of mysterious sickness swept through the population, and became a pandemic in what seemed almost overnight. Don't worry, I'm doing fine, and so is Heather. Neither one of us caught the illness, thankfully. Things looked grim for the Gate, though, for a long time. Countless people died, and it hit the poor part of the harbor worst of all. Maybe a third or a fourth of the population died, in that part of town. We are recovering and rebuilding though, and the worst of it is passed.

I'm chairing a committee meeting tomorrow. My first, and if I have to be honest, I'm incredibly nervous. Cheryl and Llywelyn have been running them up until now, but the two of them are away and the responsibility has fallen to me instead. I don't know what it is that makes me nervous, really. Perhaps I'm afraid people aren't going to show up at all. Or, perhaps, I'm afraid that they will, and I'll make a mess of it all. I've been watching Cheryl do this for a long time now, though, and I'm trying hard to convince myself if I just do the same thing she's always done I will achieve the same successful results. I sincerely hope that turns out to be true.

Of everything about me that's changed, one thing stands out as surprising above all else: I am in love. Real love. Despite having never experienced the emotion before, I know with absolute certainty what this feeling must be, because it is almost just as the storybooks describe it.. My heart swells when I see her face, and aches when we are apart, even for just a few hours. We've laughed together, we've cried together, we've both seen one another through thick and thin, all in the relatively short time I've lived in the north. When I wake up in the morning, my first thought is of her, and nothing makes me happier than the simple feeling of her face against mine. She's been there for me since almost the very beginning, and somehow, when I wasn't paying attention, she barged her way straight into my heart. All things considered, I do not understand the expression "falling in love," as for me it was a slow, gradual process.. something that snuck up on me like a summer breeze, but I am grateful for it, and even more grateful to feel that love returned in kind--the two of us are thick as thieves. I've even taken her name.

I don't know what I've been running from, anymore. I thought I stopped running when I came to Baldur's Gate. Convinced myself that I would never run again, that I would rather stay and die than give up my home twice. I've never stopped running, though--not yet. Not until I admit what happened. You will never read this letter, or any of the other letters I wrote, because you are gone. You died. Arres is gone. I have to let go and stop holding onto the past if I ever plan to move forward. And that's what I want. I am ready to move forward, finally.

I am sorry you never got to see the painting of the four of us. I didn't even complete it.. When I started to paint little Lee's face I could not bear the thought of finishing. Esther claimed that for someone who had suffered such tragedy, I seemed to like to surround myself with reminders of where I had come from. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that she's right, but it strengthens me in the end. Still, after thinking about what she said I decided to try something a little different, so I painted something to help me focus on what I have now, and not what I've lost. A portrait of my family--the ones who have taken me under their wing and kept me safe now that you cannot. I believe I will hang it in my new office.

I love you. I love you all. I'll never forget you, and I'll never forget the life I used to have.

Your little girl Blue is going to make it on her own, because she is not really alone at all.

- Elly Castillo"

Afterward, Endelyon moved to her dresser, opening the top drawer and removing the other three letters she had written her family over the course of the last year. She stepped away from the dresser and into the kitchen, over to her small wood-burning oven, pitching all four letters into the fire without a moment of hesitation. As she watched the parchment combust and curl up into nothingness, her expression was neither pained nor pensive. It was hopeful.

Later that day, Endelyon hung the painting she had done the night before in an elegant frame on her office wall. She looked at the picture, the recreation of the rough sketch she had given Rook a moon or so past, and a soft smile spread across her face. They really had become her family.